Daria

Bad Movie Night

This is mentioned in The Daria Diaries; I thought I'd have fun with it. I am assuming that Daria and Jane do their version of MST3K and that it includes TV as well. This is set in 2024 (yes, they're still the best of friends, and yes, they still do Bad Movie Night).

Usual disclaimers: I do not own MST3K or Daria. Ooh, I wish.

There was a time when I lived Daria. I got a VCR on account of her (and a whole boatload of hassle from TV Licensing, but that's another story!). This, and the two fanfics (Art Attack and Escape To New York) plus a prose adaptation of Is It Fall Yet? which I'm trying to write, is an affectionate tribute to our Misery Chick. I may try to revive the unfinished Hey Man, Nice Shot, in which Daria is forced by an obscure school regulation to undertake a sport or be expelled...and chooses archery. I lost my work for...reasons, as Ms. Li might have said.

Jane (as Daria arrives): Hola, amiga. This Bad Movie Night is a little different.

Daria: How so?

Jane: TV, too. Plus they're not bad, per se. Got a real choice selection here, courtesy of the Internet and torrents.

Daria: That may be a tiny bit illegal.

Jane (crafty): I won't tell if you won't.

Daria: Please. My Mom was a lawyer.

Jane: So 'discretion' is your middle name?

Daria: Knowing Mom, 'lawsuit' might be closer.


The Humanoid:

Daria (seeing a now-beardless Richard Kiel): I never knew losing a beard marked the transition from human being to killing machine.

Jane: Come back, 007, all is forgiven.


Jane (as Kip messes himself): Beat that, R2-D2!


Moonraker:

Daria: Never mind radar jamming, couldn't anyone see a 200-metre space station in orbit?

Jane: And Jaws' girlfriend? Short and with glasses, yet she got through a eugenics program? Hang in there, Daria, there may be hope for you yet.

Daria: In case it may come in handy, say if I need to put a fire out, I still have that bridemaid's dress.


Plan 9 From Outer Space:

Daria (seeing the change in lighting from day to night and back again because they couldn't secure an optical printer): Can't they make up their minds as to what time of day it is?


Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines:

Jane (as the T-X is waiting for the traffic cop, as her breasts inflate): I know what every woman in the theatre was thinking when she saw that.

Daria: Red leather doesn't work on a woman?

Jane: No...more 'God, I wish I could do that'.

Daria: What about the men? Especially the ones with wives or girlfriends? Or both?

Jane: Easy - 'God, I wish she could do that'.

Daria: And all marital problems are solved.


Alien:

Jane: It's be-hind you!

Daria (deadpan): Oh no it isn't.

Jane (as the Alien takes Brett): Oh yes it is!


Starship Troopers:

Daria (as the Rodger Young barely evades the Bug meteor): Heinlein would be horrified.

Jane: How so?

Daria: All these sophisticated sensors, detectors and whatnot, and no-one thinks to just look out of the window when there's a city-sized Bug meteor approaching. Some pilot she is.

Jane: Hmm. How's she different from Carmen in the novel?

Daria: Too many ways to describe. But top of the list is that she isn't bald.


Rico: Who are all these kids?

Daria: He says, aged 19.


The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

Sarah Connor (to a topless Cameron): You might want to put those back in their holster.

Daria: Weapons of mass destruction.

Jane: Or distraction.

Daria: Just what Skynet needs.

Jane: The world is doomed. Doomed, I say!


Max Headroom:

Daria: Corporate TV espousing the evils of corporate TV.

Jane: Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. No wonder they cancelled it.

Daria: TV and satellites left as the only growth industry? That couldn't really happen, could it?

Jane: I dunno...could it?

(They think about it)

Daria & Jane: Nah.

(La la LA la la)