AN: Written for QLFC Season 11, Round 3, Montrose Magpies, Chaser 3. Main Prompt is Laverna 'Goddess of Thieves' [Roman]: Write about a deceitful or wicked act. My optional prompts are best friends, notorious, and flyting. (Flyting or fliting, is a contest consisting of the exchange of insults between two parties, often conducted in verse.) Flyting will be spelled with a y and will be treated as a regular noun, not a proper noun. Trigger warnings: Mild offensive language, slight OOC on Hermione, and kinda Harry and Ginny. Of course, J.K. owns 'Harry Potter', and The Charlie Daniels Band owns 'The Devil went down to Georgia'. (RIP) On with the show!

Hermione huffed as she strode down the Ministry hallway. It was ridiculous! Over four hundred house elves enslaved in Britain, and just one moron in the way! Minerva had politely, but firmly, told her she would not do anything to upset the Hogwarts elves; especially when they made some of the best hot chocolate in the country. Minerva was notorious for her love of hot chocolate. Minerva would die on that hill, as Hermione would die on this one. However she was not the one blocking Hermione.

As she passed by different offices, she nodded to the people she knew, but they all stayed out of her way. They all had the same thought. The great Hermione Granger had bested herself. It had been her idea to pass legislation that had created the position of "Magical Tradition President", and her idea to give that person veto powers. And, currently, the person who held that seat, was none other than the reformed Draco Malfoy.

She had spent over two hours argui—debating!—with him about this, but he remained resolute that the enslavement of house elves was a core part of Magical tradition. Of course, he never said that, but Hermione knew that's what he meant. She wasn't the brightest witch of her age for nothing.

She had arranged to meet with Harry and Ginny to vent to them. Ron had to hear enough every night—if he was honest, he was tired of the thing talked about most in their bedroom being Draco Malfoy, because she wouldn't vent around the kids. It was one of her rules for how she acted around them.

As she walked into the library, Ann, the head librarian, nodded to her, winked, then pointed to her private room. Hermione looked at her questioningly, and Ann shook her head. He wasn't here yet.

Hermione quietly walked down to that room and closed the door, then pulled out her wand, waved it, and whispered Muffliato. Then she turned around to see Harry grinning at her, and Ginny sitting there, looking excited to see her.

"What?" Hermione said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh, nothing! Just remembering someone saying that that book, and all the spells in it were evil. How that person's opinion has changed," Harry said, faking innocence.

"Two words, Harry. Shut up," Hermione responded as Ginny started laughing.

"He never does, Herm."

"I know, Gin."

"Hey! What is this, team up on Harry day?" Harry protested.

"Maybe." Hermione grinned. "Thanks for coming you guys, it means a lot, it really does."

"No problem Mione, who wouldn't want to hear you bash Malfoy?" Ginny said.

"Your youngest brother, he got tired of it."

"I'd get tired of my wife always talking about another man."

"Enough Harry. I have enough to deal with without you starting rumors."

"Why Hermione," a silky smooth voice echoed from the walls, "I had no idea you felt this way about me." Draco emerged from the wall, as if it was never there, and then took the wall down, revealing it was a glamor. He turned around, smirking at her startled face, then she started glaring at him, as Harry and Ginny burst out laughing.

"You- You should have seen your face!" Harry gasped, before he fell out of his chair laughing.

Hermione glared at them. "Why is Draco Malfoy here!?" She said, as she raised her voice.

Ann opened the door, glared at Hermione, and went, "SHHHHHHH!"

Hermione looked sheepish, and apologized, as Ann left the room. She thought for a moment. What was she supposed to say? Stupid complicated lines…

"What do you want, Draco?" Hermione asked irritability.

He sat down calmly as Harry and Ginny regained their composure. "I was told we would be able to have a to-the-point conversation, with Harry and Ginny being good mediators. So far, they are a far cry from that…"

"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet," Ginny said, while grinning mischievously. "Harry and I were chatting with Minerva last week, and she mentioned something that used to be popular between two feuding people in her heyday. We thought we would bring it back, moderators being yours truly."

"What is it?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's called flyting, and basically it's an exaggerated insult duel in poetry," Harry answered.

"Poetry, huh? Well Draco, you up for the duel of your life?" Hermione challenged, folding her arms in front of her. "At least I remember these lines," she thought.

"You are hardly the most threatening person I have faced, whether in words or wands. To quote an American song, 'I'll take that bet an' yer gonna regret cause I'm the best there's ever been'," Draco responded.

"If that's the best you've got, this will be an afterthought," Hermione stated.

"Your verse is feeble, I must deride, with such weak lines, I won't need whisky by my side," Draco responded, using his extensive knowledge of Proper English to his advantage.

"Cease your prattle, let's be fair, how much dye hides beneath that bleached blond hair?" Hermione retorted, looking smug.

"OOOooo, Hermione gains one point!" Harry said, and Ginny giggled as Draco spluttered for a moment. He regained his composure and fired back.

"Endless programs you devise, yet none bring gain, if it ain't broke, Hermione, refrain from needless pain. And as for advice, your ignorance is clear, learn to wield a hairbrush, for your own appearance's cheer."

"Three points for Draco! Made a point and still insulted hard!" Harry called, as Ginny gave Draco a thumbs up and nodded.

"If dwelling in the past is your chosen plight, progress eludes you, Draco, trapped in night. And as for your fashion, how it begs to be refined, your taste, stuck in the 1700s, left far behind," Hermione responded.

"Your fashion critique holds no weight, I fear, for my style surpasses yours, Hermione dear. And in matters of wizardry, knowledge refined, in this realm, Hermione, you'll always lag behind," Draco retorted fiercely.

"Your logic pales, Draco, in the light of mine, no matter how you strive, your arguments decline. Our test scores, a testament, speak loud and clear, in intellect, Draco, you'll just have to kiss my derriere," Hermione said with finality.

Harry fell out of his seat laughing, and Ginny was in stitches. Even Draco smirked, and nodded his head.

"I concede the bout, even I'm not too proud to admit that that was a darn good one. However, I do not concede the point. House elves want no rights, and to fight for them to have something they don't want is foolishness, especially when wizards, and even other magical creatures, want things," Draco responded, measuring his response carefully, like any true Slytherin.

"Are any wizards suffering unjustly under harsh masters? Because I hadn't heard that," Hermione retorted, fire in her eyes, the levity gone from the room and tension back. Harry and Ginny looked at each other, worried that they might end up in the crossfire of these two.

"No, but there are wizards who want other laws and policies put into place, and other creatures that have no laws protecting them," Draco stated firmly, standing his ground, not giving an inch.

Hermione turned to Harry and Ginny, who were quite unhappy that Draco and Hermione were between them and the door. "Well?" Hermione demanded imperiously. "Who is right?" Draco and Hermione stood, facing Harry and Ginny, with their arms crossed, Glaring at Harry and Ginny, waiting for the verdict.

"Ummm- well, I don't know…" Harry stuttered as Ginny fingered her wand, ready to draw, and then run. Then Ginny noticed something odd. Hermione was shaking a little. Was she that mad? This could be very bad, neither one of them had checked their wills in a while…

Hermione couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst into laughter. Draco started snickering as well, then he started to laugh. Harry and Ginny looked at each other worried, then Ginny drew her wand. Bhrath insaniam! Ginny incanted, and then looked relieved. "Well, they aren't going mental from stress, at least not medically," Ginny told Harry.

"No, we aren't insane, not yet anyways. Draco told me about your little scheme, we planned all of this out, down to the way I would walk down the hallway to get here. I didn't know about the wall though." Hermione glared at Draco as she said this.

"What? I still had to have some fun." Draco grinned, and then turned to Harry and Ginny. "Never attempt to fool a Slytherin, little cubs."

"So you played us this whole time!" Ginny exclaimed, looking stunned, as Harry glared.

"Y-E-S, Harry," Hermione spelled out for them.

"Ok, ha ha, you got us. But how did you work together enough to pull this off?" Harry said, looking confused.

"Because we are adults, Potter. Despite how much we may disagree, we are still capable of working together. Especially because now she owes me," Draco said as he smirked.

"Yeah, but it's worth getting one over on you two. I'm going home now. Oh, and y'all just wait for the Floo call from Ron after I tell him about this. He will be making fun of you two for hours." Hermione grinned and left, feeling incredibly satisfied, and proud of herself.

Harry and Ginny turned and looked at each other, horrified, and then ran after Hermione. "Wait, don't tell him, we'll watch your kids or something!…"

Their voices faded from Draco's ears as they ran down the hallway, chasing after Hermione on foot. Draco rolled his eyes, and used the floo that was in the room to go home, like any normal person would, obviously.