The scene opens with an exterior shot of I.M.P Headquarters. Cut to the inside of the office with Moxxie holding his signature mug, Loona texting on her phone, the twins with their pets, Lisa doing some research on her Hellpad, Ronnie Anne sitting next to Lincoln, and Lincoln holding his baby sister, Minnie. Lincoln's tail comes up and tickles Minnie's chin, making the baby Imp giggle.
Lincoln: *chuckles* How'd I get so lucky to have an adorable baby sister like you, Minnie?
He pokes Minnie's nose, making her laugh adorably.
Cut to the front door kicked open by a furious Millie as she stomps around the office, mumbling angrily.
Millie: *mumbling angrily* Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!
Upon coming up to the table, Millie slams her coffee cup on it, disturbing Loona. Millie then passes Loona and hits a button titled "Nut button!" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying, "Hi! I'm a Hooman!" then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie and Lincoln look at her, disturbed, while Minnie buries her head in Lincoln's chest, frightened by her mother's anger. Ronnie Anne, the twins and Lisa look absolutely flabbergasted.
Moxxie: Millie, honey. Is everything okay?
Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him and Lincoln even more, also scaring Minnie more, but she manages to calm down.
Millie: Yeah. Just… bumped into an ex. *tail twitches*
Moxxie: *Lincoln looks angry* Oh! Oh… *sees Lincoln's expression* Son-?
Lincoln: *angrily stands up* You ran into that annoying shark-toothed sack of horse shit?!
Millie: *seething* Yep. *retracts knife* He just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock."
Moxxie: Wait, what?
Millie: *raises voice* Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to—
Millie punches the filing cabinet beside her in frustration. Blitzo enters the room on his phone shortly after.
Blitzo: What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!
Lana: Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned—
She holds up a photo of two imps making out in horse suits.
Lana: *disturbed* What the fuck is this? *Lincoln covers Minnie's eyes*
Blitzo: Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them.
Lincoln *shakes his head as Blitzo walks back into his office* Just when I thought Blitzo couldn't get more pig-ish.
Blitzo: Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?
Cut to the inside of a mansion, with a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.
Client: Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate.
Blitzo: Uh, you want us killing someone in Hell. 'Cause I gotta tell ya, that ain't exactly our business anymore.
Client: I'll tell ya all about it when you get here. *smokes cigar* It's regarding a business venture I'm sure will be very worth *through the phone* your time.
Blitzo: Ooh, how ominous. *chuckles* Fine, whatever, what's the address?
Client: Transportation has already *through the phone* been taken care of.
Blitzo peeks through the office blinds and notices a helicopter in front of his building. He runs to the room everyone else is in to find the helicopter before the main window.
Blitzo: What the fuck is that?
The helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window, breaking the wall. Loona looks on without a word.
Blitzo: Satan's ass crack! Enough with the walls shit, we have a door!
With the damaged walls, a wind gusts through the office and distributes all the photos Blitzo had been saving across the town.
Blitzo: My research!
Two imp children grab one of the photos and are visibly disgusted; one is crying, and the other is vomiting from the result. The helicopter approaches Blitzo, creating a bridge for them to walk upon, and the pilot steps out.
Pilot: I.M.P? Right this way, please!
Moxxie: Uh, sir?
Everyone except Blitzo and Loona aim their weapons at the pilot and helicopter. Lincoln holds Minnie close to his chest.
Moxxie: What's going on?!
Blitzo: Now, don't worry! It's just some fancy shmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us.
Blitzo, M'n'M, Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, Lisa, and the twins walk toward the helicopter.
Moxxie: Uh, sir? I don't think this is a good idea.
Lincoln: Yeah. I've got one hell of a bad feeling about this.
Minnie: *coos uncomfortably* Ya…
Blitzo: It'll be fine. Now get your asses moving.
Blitzo pushes Moxxie and Millie into the helicopter as everyone else follows. As she tries to buckle herself in, Millie notices her seatbelt is broken.
Millie: Is this thing safe?
Pilot: Don't worry, we are professionals!
The pilots proceed to take out a huge chunk of a wall as they fly off.
Ronnie Anne: *inside* Professionals my fucking ass!
Later, the same helicopter is seen flying out of a hanger in the Greed Ring as they fly over Loo Loo Land, which is going under reconstruction, along with other carnage as they fly over a sign reading, "Welcome to Notamafia Town; No mafia here! We're Mafia-free!"
Lana: *she and Lola growl, sarcastic* Home sweet home…
Lisa: Ah, that's right. One of your parental figures grew up here.
Lola: Yeah, but she left because she hates this fucking place and her fucking dipshit family.
Moxxie: *disdained groan* So do I.
Blitzo: Oh, yeah. This is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Mox?
Moxxie: Yeah, unfortunately. I grew up just over there. *points through the window* Swore I'd never come back, and— *eyes widen a bit* uh uh— what— what, where are we going?
The helicopter starts changing direction, as Moxxie grows more and more anxious.
Moxxie: What— *faces his boss* Blitzo... who did you say this meeting was with?
Blitzo: I'm not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to do biz at his place.
The helicopter finally lands, and Moxxie grows heavily worried after realizing where he's landed.
Moxxie: Oh, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
Lincoln: *he and Minnie look concerned at their father's panicking* Dad...?
Minnie: Dada?
The place in question is revealed to be a huge mansion, dark smoke fuming through both chimneys. Moxxie shivers in fear of the place, as Blitzo shoves him to move forward.
Client: *off-screen* There he is!
The client moves out the doorway, being visible on screen.
Client: There's my boy! Get over here and give your daddy a hug!
Blitzo, Millie and Lincoln: "Daddy"?!
Minnie: "Dada"?
Ronnie Anne, Lana, Lola, and Lisa: Huh?!
Client: *stern* I only let Moxxie call me that... *joking* ... unless you pay me! *laughs*
Moxxie: Guys, um, *clears throat nervously* this is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitzo. And my—
Millie: -Millie! I'm his wife!
Millie takes her hand to greet Crimson as he accepts.
Crimson: And what a beautiful wife you are. *kisses Millie's hand* Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?
Millie: Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us eventually.
Crimson: Oh, I'm sure. *sees Lincoln and Minnie* And who might these two be?
Moxxie: They're, um... our children... our son, Lincoln, and our daughter, Minnie...
Crimson: *pleasantly surprised* Well, how about that! I'm a grandfather! *shakes Lincoln's paw* Pleasure to meet ya, champ!
Lincoln: *a bit unnerved, but manages to hide it* Y-You too, sir.
Moxxie: *gestures to the rest* And... these are our other co-workers. Ronnie Anne, Lisa, Lana, and Lola.
Ronnie Anne: *crosses her arms* Hey.
Lisa: Greetings.
Lana and Lola just glare.
Crimson: Pleasure to meet you all. *turns to Blitzo* You got to be Blitzo, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work.
Blitzo: Really? *turns to Moxxie* What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me! *Lincoln rolls his eyes*
Crimson: No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a name for yourself here, kid.
Blitzo: Really? *chuckles* Well, I guess it's about time folks recognized my talent.
Crimson: *cracks up* I like your attitude. Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for you.
Crimson and Blitzo start walking to the door, with Lisa and the twins following behind.
Millie: *looks at Moxxie* Hey, baby. Why haven't we met your Pa before?
Moxxie: *nervously* Well uh, y'know, i-it's just, never been a—
Crimson: Hey! You all, move it before it gets cold. *keeps walking*
Lincoln: I can't be the only one thinking this is a bit off, right?
Ronnie Anne: *snarls* I was thinking the same thing.
Minnie: Gwanpa kinda cweepy...
Moxxie: Look, look, guys, w-we can talk about it later.
Millie takes Moxxie's hand and both enter the house with Blitzo, their kids and the others in tow. Crimson's smile fades then he snaps his fingers and enters the house. The two men standing at the door follow him inside, closing the door behind them. Inside, Crimson prepares a drink for Blitzo.
Crimson: So, Blitzo, ya always been a hitman?
Blitzo: No, no, not always. Yeah, *takes the drink from Crimson* I was in the circus for a long time.
Crimson: *finger guns* Show business! *sits down* Good money in that.
Everyone sits in the room in an awkward silence.
Ronnie Anne: *sarcastic* Yeah, this ain't awkward at all.
Moxxie: *looks over to Blitzo* What are we doing here... *then, to his dad* sir?
Crimson: *rolls eyes* Moxxie, I raised you better than that. *lights cigar* Ya know there's no business before dinner. Besides, we're still waitin' on two more.
The front door is heard opening, as a Hellhound woman's silhouette is seen at the door.
Crimson: Ah, and there's one now.
Everyone looks. Lana and Lola's eyes bulge out, before they growl in pure rage.
Lana: You…
Lola: I should've fucking known…
Walking in, they see the Hellhound woman has blonde fur and hair, a scar over her mouth, piercing red eyes, and wearing a black and white mafia suit.
Hellhound: *looks at Lana and Lola with a mix of disgust and disappointment* Lana. Lola.
Lana and Lola: *snarl* Claudia…
Blitzo: *surprised* Oh, you're acquainted?
Lana, Lola and Claudia: Unfortunately.
Claudia: These two embarrassments are unfortunately my nieces.
Lana: *stands up* Only in blood, bitch.
Lola: *joins her twin* You got no fucking right to call us your "nieces", because you're a failure of an aunt and a sister.
Claudia glares back at the twins, until Crimson snaps his fingers.
Crimson: Claudia, whatever beef you got with them, put it to the side for now. They're our guests.
Claudia gives one last glare to her nieces, who growl at her as she walks and stands at Crimson's other side as he kisses her hand. Lana and Lola sit back down, still glaring at their aunt.
Ronnie Anne: And who's the last chump we're waiting on?
Suddenly, the last guest kicks his way into the house, making an entrance.
Guest: Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!
Moxxie, Millie and Lincoln: *mad* CHAZ?! *realization hits* Wait... *look at each other* ...what?!
Moxxie: You two know him?!
Lincoln: *as Millie groans and slaps her forehead* You remember that ex Mom was talking about? *snarls in Chaz's direction* That "annoying shark-toothed sack of horse shit"?!
Chaz walks over and hugs Moxxie and Millie.
Chaz: Looks like I got two big sex reunions today. *singsong voice* How lucky am I? *yelps and lets go of Moxxie and Minnie when Lincoln furiously snaps his jaws at him*
Lincoln: *glaring at Chaz* Back. OFF!
Millie: *surprised, to Moxxie* Did you date him too?!
Chaz: Ha, yeah. No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I'm in—
Blitzo: *angrily* Are you fucking kidding me?! There's someone who's fucked BOTH of you?!
Moxxie: *bitterly* It was a long time ago.
Chaz: But, I still remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like *fondly* it was written in the stars.
Blitzo: Ha! Moxxie in the mafia, that's fucking rich.
Lisa elbows Blitzo's arm and points out all of the items in the room to back up Chaz's claim: A photo of Crimson and a mob boss, the many trophies of hellbeasts hanging on the wall, and a framed family painting of Crimson, a younger Moxxie, and Moxxie's mother, as if posing like a mob family, hanging over the fireplace. Blitzo hears a knock on the door and looks, just in time for Crimson's goons to enter carrying a body bag.
Blitzo: Oh... shit.
Lincoln: *stunned, looks at Moxxie* You were in the mafia, Dad?!
Millie: *concerned* You've never told us this before.
Moxxie: I-I don't really like to talk about this part of my life. But, *dramatically* I first saw Chaz at my induction in the family.
Flashback to Moxxie's time in the mob. Moxxie gets a handshake and a kiss from Crimson, welcoming him into the business. Moxxie looks around the room and stops upon seeing Chaz grinning and applauding at him. Moxxie blushes at the attention Chaz is giving him.
Moxxie: *voiceover* Our eyes met from across the room. And there was just something about him. Something that was magnetic!
Moxxie finds himself hiding behind a car in the middle of a mob turf war. He throws away the Tommy gun and pulls out a grenade, but it slips out of his hands before he can pull the pin. Moxxie runs after it and catches it the same moment that Chaz grabs it, touching his hand. Both share a smile before Moxxie picks up the grenade, pulls the pin, and throws it away. Chaz and Moxxie stare fondly at each other as the grenade explodes in the distance, the smoke forming the shape of a heart.
The scene switches over to Moxxie greeting Chaz at the door. Chaz is holding signs that he lets fall from his hands. The signs say "TELL YOUR DAD IT'S A SALESMAN" "I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU" and "MOKSIE, WILL YOU BONE WITH ME?" Moxxie blushes fondly and lets Chaz in.
Another scene has Moxxie polishing a rifle when Chaz comes up from behind and assists. Moxxie grows aroused by the interaction.
In another scene, Moxxie poses nude, except for a necklace and his socks, on the couch while Chaz paints him before the flashback fades back to the present.
Moxxie: It's been 84 years...
Blitzo: *confused* Isn't that from that boat movie?
Lisa: Titanic?
Blitzo: Yeah, that one.
Millie: *skeptical* Did any of that stuff actually happen?
Chaz: Oh, yeah! *licks lips* But, he skipped over the jizz-covered parts.
Moxxie: Anyway. Things changed when we went on a heist together.
Flashback to the heist, Moxxie, carrying a bag of money, is running with Chaz to the exit as the security gate begins to drop. Moxxie throws the money out of the bank and catches the gate with his shoulders to give Chaz time to slide under. Moxxie tries to escape but his leg and tail are caught under the gate when it drops to the floor.
After struggling to get out he turns to Chaz for help. Chaz suddenly hears the police sirens and grabs the money, giving Moxxie a final look before running off, leaving a betrayed Moxxie devastated and in tears. Moxxie is thrown inside a jail cell. He sadly climbs into the bottom bunk of the bed.
Cellmate: So, what're you in for?
Moxxie quietly pulls his tail closer to him. His cellmate, Blitzo, is lying on the top bunk.
Blitzo: Okay, not much of a talker, are you? *hops down and shakes Moxxie's hand* I'm Blitzo, the "o" is silent. I'm sure we're going to get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office-
Moxxie attempts to speak.
Blitzo: -and I hope you are 'cuz I got a plan to get us out of this dump but I'm going to need some help, you think you can give me a hand? I need to get out to my daughter. The babysitter will kill me if I don't get back soon.
Moxxie tearfully smiles as Blitzo continues talking about his escape plan. The scene then shows a quick montage of the events to follow: Moxxie meeting the rest of I.M.P., Moxxie and Millie's wedding, a few scenes from Season 1 episodes, and Minnie's birth, then it returns to the present day.
Moxxie: Once I got out, I never looked back.
Ronnie Anne was now holding Minnie. Blitzo sits worryingly as Millie and Lincoln glare and growl viciously toward a nervous-looking Chaz. Crimson frowns in his chair as Claudia looks unamused.
Chaz: Well, heh, as you said, it was a long time ago. *chuckles nervously*
Millie and Lincoln: *furiously* I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
Ronnie Anne quickly covers Minnie's eyes. Millie leaps onto the top of the couch, missing Chaz as her knife pierces through the fabric. Chaz hides behind Crimson's chair.
Chaz: Whoa, the fuck- Crazy bitch!
Lincoln blitzes to Chaz and furiously grabs him by the neck, slamming him against the floor of the fireplace and getting close to pushing his head in, but he and Millie are getting held back by Moxxie, Blitzo and Lisa's mechanical limbs.
Crimson: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, HEY! Hold on!
Lincoln: *growling* Looks like we're having CHARRED BACKSTABBING SHARK for dinner!
Millie: You're going to die, BITCH!
The maid enters the room, causing the chaos to stop.
Maid: *French accent* Dinner is served.
Everyone is seated in the dining room. Millie is viciously cutting through her food while Lincoln angrily snaps his whole plate full as they both glare at Chaz. Lana and Lola glare at their aunt as she eats, unbothered. The room is completely silent.
Blitzo: So, this is aggressively uncomfortable.
Claudia: I suppose you want to know why you're here.
Blitzo: Yeah, so what gives? You know we kill people on Earth, right? We don't usually do contracts for locals. So, if you want to do business with us, you got to—.
Crimson: We don't want to do business with I-M-P, we want to do business with Moxxie.
Moxxie: *stops cutting his food* ME?
Crimson: Yeah, kid. I only summoned I.M.P to be sure you'd show. Because, well, we're bringin' Chaz into the family.
Chaz smirks while raising his eyebrows.
Moxxie: What? Since when can just anyone join the family?
Lincoln: Yeah, I'm not familiar with the whole mafia shit, but I'm pretty sure that's NOT how it works.
Lisa: Indeed, it's rather bizarre.
Claudia: It normally isn't like this.
Crimson: *looks at Lincoln, bitterly* Your father had responsibilities here that I had to pick up once he left. Now Chaz is going to lighten the load.
Moxxie: Wait, I thought you always hated his guts.
Crimson: *Chaz looks confused* Well, I didn't exactly 'hate' him.
Moxxie: You called him a "friendless horse-fucker" and said we lived a "sissy lifestyle".
Crimson: Yeah, well, I was wrong. You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz.
Chaz: Yeah. I've grown, matured, and, recently, came into millions! *shifty eyes* But, y'know, mostly the "mature" thing.
Blitzo: Oh, okay, okay. So the "friendless horse-fucker" over here gets a little moolah and suddenly, it's worth wasting our time over?
Chaz: Well, I'm the whole "package" if you know what I mean.
I.M.P is speechless from pure annoyance.
Chaz: *confidently* I got a big dick.
Ronnie Anne: What does any of this have to do with Moxxie?
Crimson: *sets down utensils* There's going to be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. *bitterly* Then you can get back to ignoring your family to your heart's content.
Millie: *stands up* Maybe he wouldn't "ignore his family" if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good, shark-toothed FUCK FACE!
Chaz grins at Millie. Millie points a knife at his neck, threateningly as Lincoln growls, teeth bared.
Crimson: Ey, look. Everybody, relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest? We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared.
Moxxie: *Millie and Lincoln are about to object* Yes, sir.
Millie and Lincoln: *surprised* Mox?/Dad?
I.M.P and Chaz begin to leave the room.
Crimson: A moment, Moxxie.
Moxxie: Just give me a minute, guys. I'll be there.
Claudia: Lana, Lola, I'd like to speak with you as well.
Lana and Lola just flip their aunt off and walk out, and Claudia sternly follows. Millie, Lincoln and Minnie look on with worry as Moxxie steps back inside the dining room. Chaz tries to lean into Millie, but jumps back when Millie growls and Lincoln tries to bite him. The goons and Claudia close the door behind them as they leave, leaving Moxxie alone with Crimson.
Crimson: So... you think you're too good for this family now?
Moxxie: What?
Crimson: C'mere.
Moxxie approaches his father.
Moxxie: I-I don't understand.
Crimson stands up and backhands Moxxie in the face, knocking him down.
Crimson: *angrily* You think you'll just walk away from this family and never come back?! You're dead wrong, Mox! *grabs Moxxie* As a matter of fact, the only thing you're right about is that obnoxious piss-stain can't get made! Not unless he marries in!
Moxxie: "Marries?" But, but who would marry—?
Crimson: Who do you think?! *lets go of Moxxie and sits back down* This family needs that money and it's about time your pathetic ass was useful for something!
Moxxie: Sir, I'm already married. I-I can't-
Crimson: You think I give a shit about your stupid bride?! C'mon Mox, I even went through the trouble of makin' the house more to your kind's liking!
Crimson presses a button on the table and bouncing dildos appear from the dining chairs, the walls, replacing the framed severed body parts, vases, and even behind a potted plant in the corner. A party ball hanging from the ceiling opens, pouring out confetti, revealing a banner that says "CONGRATS, GAY" and a trumpet fanfare.
Moxxie: ... Wait, what?! What do you think I'm into?!
Crimson: What? This is the kind of shit gays like, right?
Moxxie: Okay, first off - Dad, I'm bisexual.
Crimson: *shrugs* Yeah. Gay.
Moxxie: Oh, for fuck's sake! Secondly, *holds out a hand to block a dildo from hitting his face* I don't know a single person of any sexuality who would enjoy this.
Blitzo: *from the hallway* Ha! There're dicks on the walls! *Moxxie frowns in response* Oh, that is fucking hilarious!
Crimson: *grabs Moxxie by the face* Look at me, kid. One way or another, you're going to do what I fucking say. Don't cross me.
Moxxie reflects on his childhood. A child Moxxie was struggling to cut his steak at the dinner table. His mother gently takes the plate and cuts the steak for him. She smiles sweetly at Moxxie and he smiles back at her. Crimson glares at Moxxie. Moxxie takes the plate and begins eating his dinner. Crimson then glares at his wife, nudging her foot with his. She quickly pulls her leg away from Crimson, now sitting more properly. Crimson stomps his foot.
Another memory shows Moxxie shooting three bullseyes in the shooting range. His mother ruffles his head proudly. Suddenly, a goon grabs Moxxie and rushes him away from his mother and toward another shooting range. Two goons prep a live target as Crimson hands Moxxie a real gun and points to it. Moxxie slowly takes aim but his mother takes the gun out of his hands and pushes it into Crimson's hands before grabbing her son and walking away. Crimson glares at the disrespect.
Moxxie now hides underneath the bed as his parents argue. A slap is heard and his mother walks out of the room. Later, only Crimson and Moxxie are at the dinner table. Moxxie struggles to cut his steak and then looks at his father. Crimson glares at Moxxie, who then goes back to trying to cut his food. Crimson takes a drag from his cigar and blows the smoke in Moxxie's face.
Later on, Crimson and Moxxie take a boat ride on the lake with a passenger. Crimson places a cinder block that the passenger's tail is tied to on the side of the boat over the edge and gestures for Moxxie to push it. Moxxie looks at the cinderblock, then the pleading passenger, and backs away only for Crimson to push him back into the cinderblock.
Teary-eyed, Moxxie takes one last look at the passenger while pushing the cinderblock overboard, sending the victim into the lake with it. Moxxie watches as the air bubbles fade. Crimson preps another body over the side of the boat.
Crimson: *flashback* Let this be a lesson, Moxxie.
Crimson gestures to the lake, filled with hats, bags, shoes, and light articles that belonged to previous victims thrown into the water.
Crimson: *flashback* This is what happens when you cross me.
A high heel that resembles the ones Moxxie's mother wore floats to the surface.
The scene returns to the present day.
Crimson: Now, get to bed Moxxie. You have a big day tomorrow.
Crimson lets go of Moxxie.
Moxxie: *fearfully* Yes, sir.
Crimson: Oh, and Mox? You ever talk back to me again, *Moxxie backs up to the door* you, that pretty little thang, that filthy fucking mutt, and that little snot-nosed shit you brought here... are goin' home in boxes. Capeesh?
Moxxie: Yes, sir.
Moxxie quickly finds the doorknob and steps out of the room, leaving Crimson alone in the dining room covered with bouncing dildos.
Inside Lana and Lola's bedroom, they are arguing with Claudia.
Lana: It's fucking hilarious that you think you can just fucking boss us around!
Lola: Get the fuck out, you heartless fuckface!
Claudia: You two should learn to respect your elders. I could have you two killed at any moment.
She was about to reach for her gun, but noticed it was gone. She looks and sees Lana holding it, having swiped it from Claudia earlier in the living room.
Lana: We're professional assassins, bitch. *points the gun at Claudia* You could have died the second you walked into the room.
Claudia glares with a slight snarl.
Lola: Our mother made the right choice leaving this hellhole, and after whatever ceremony tomorrow, we're never coming back.
Lana: And if you try any funny shit or go after our parents or friends…
Lana and Lola's eyes blaze as their Zodiac auras flare.
Lana and Lola: … you're gonna fucking regret it.
Claudia just silently glares, before turning to the door and walking out.
Moxxie walks up the stairs, shaken and the others (minus Lana and Lola) standing at their bedroom doors. A goon gestures for Moxxie to go into a different room.
Millie: Why? How come we aren't in-
Alessio: Crimson wants you all to stay in separate rooms.
Millie: But, wha... Moxxie?
Millie grabs Moxxie's hand.
Moxxie: It's just one night, Millie. It's ok.
Lincoln: Dad, are you ok?
Moxxie: I'm fine. Please don't worry, guys.
Millie: You know you can tell us anything. Right?
Moxxie: Yes, everything's fine.
Millie: We're a family, Mox.
Minnie: *concerned* Dada?
Moxxie: It's just my dad, it's ok, really. *kisses Millie's hand* It'll be over tomorrow.
Millie: Ok, I love you.
She kisses Moxxie on the lips.
Lincoln: *hugs Moxxie* Love you, Dad...
Minnie: *hugs Moxxie's arm* Wuv you, Dada...
Moxxie: *hugs them both* I love you, too. Goodnight.
Lincoln hands Minnie to Millie, then enters the room where he and Ronnie Anne are staying. Moxxie opens his bedroom to see many framed pictures of Chaz on the wall.
Moxxie: What the? *facepalms* Fucking why?
He snarls, walks into the bathroom, and washes his face with cold water. He glumly leaves the bathroom and goes to turn off the lights. When he hits the switch Chaz pops up on a heart-shaped bed.
Chaz: Like what I've done with the place?
Moxxie: Ugh. Just get out of here!
Chaz: Come on, Mox.
He pulls on a switch which lights up the words "Cum Zone".
Chaz: We used to have so much fun here. Remember? *puts his arm around Moxxie*
Moxxie: *pushes him off* I'm married, Chaz. And a father. And, even if I weren't, I would never.
Chaz: Never what? Let me take you to cum town again?
Moxxie: You are so gross! Just leave me alone!
Chaz: I know what you want most Moxxie Poxxie *spins Moxxie around* How about a sexually charged musical number, heyyyy!
Chaz holds a button on the wall down with the side of his fist.
Chaz: You always loved those.
Chaz moves his hand off the button, showing it to be labeled "SEXTREMELY HAWT SEX MUSIC", which makes a disco ball come down and changes the lighting to be more of cyan and magenta hue. Chaz begins to sing "Chaz Time".
Chaz: Ow!
Woah-oh, hoo, woah-oh, yeah-yeah!
It's Chaz time
Chaz: Moxxie, I see you lookin' at me, lookin' at you
Wondering when I'm gonna crack you open like a walnut
And the answer is soon (Walnut)
Chaz blows smoke from his vape into Moxxie's face.
Chaz: Now I'm feelin' what you're feelin' and I'm feelin' that you wanna feel me, you feel me? (Sax-o-phone)
Yeah, so let me get a little something off my chest, while I blow a hot emotional load onto yours
Chaz: Moxxie, feeling foxy
Wanna get a good taste of your faucet
Well, I got two tickets to pleasure land (Oh, baby)
Moxxie facepalms.
Chaz: Well, come down here and have your way, yeah-yeah (Oh, my girl)
Moxxie quickly turns away and shields his vision with his hand.
Chaz: With my sensual body yeah-yeah, yeah (So naughty)
Moxxie kicks him out and slams the door on him. Moxxie then crouches down on the floor behind the door and starts to heavily sob. We cut to Millie's room where she is anxiously pacing the floor, holding Minnie, who is now wearing pajamas. There is a knock on the door.
Millie: *relieved* Moxxie?
She opens the door and sees it's Chaz.
Millie: *angrily* What do you want?
Chaz starts to sing to Millie before being immediately cut off by her. She growls at him and puts her knife to his throat.
Chaz: *annoyed* Damn it, this usually works.
Millie drops Chaz to the floor and angrily closes the door on him. Chaz then goes to knock on Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's door, but two bullets burst through the door and just barely miss him.
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: *inside* FUCK OFF, DIPSHIT!
Chaz gets up and waggles his eyebrows to the camera and then knocks on Blitzo's door.
Chaz: Hey there, good-looking.
Blitzo: Oh, I was wondering how long it would take you to make a pass.
Chaz: Oh, does that mean you're down to clown?
Blitzo: Ew, what the- Do you think I would violate my friend's trust by sleeping with their ex, especially one who fucked them over the way you did?
Chaz: I'll show you all of the things they liked in the sack.
Blitzo: Deal! *pulls Chaz in*
We cut to Moxxie where he is lying on his side in bed, awake, his eyes wide open.
Blitzo: *off-screen* Augh... chill the fuck out! *groans in pain*
Chaz: *off-screen* Who-ho-ho! That's what my dick does to a bitch!
Moxxie turns onto his stomach and pulls out his phone. He goes on to his social media and looks at pictures of himself, Millie, Lincoln and Minnie, they show: a slightly younger Moxxie and Millie on a date; Moxxie and Millie in bed; Lincoln and Moxxie on a father-son hangout; Moxxie, Millie and Lincoln at the theatre holding up Phantom of the Opera programs, Moxxie has tears in his eyes indicating how much he loved the performance; Moxxie, Millie and Lincoln welcoming Minnie into the world; and Moxxie and Millie at their wedding, kissing, with Lincoln acting as the best man.
Moxxie starts to cry again, he then growls knowing that he must stand up to his father. We cut back to Blitzo and Chaz in bed. Chaz is asleep and snoring.
Chaz: *sleep-talking* Oh, I got a big dick.
Blitzo: Okay, fucker, nobody who's that bad in bed can score two hotties that easily. I know you gotta be hiding something...
Blitzo checks Chaz's clothing until he finds his car keys. He smiles, sneaks outside the mansion, and clicks the car keys until he locates Chaz's car. He looks in the dashboard and finds an eviction notice, showing that Chaz is broke and has lied to Crimson about his millions. Blitzo then looks in the trunk and finds a to-do list that shows that Chaz is planning to marry Moxxie to inherit the Knolastname's family fortune.
Blitzo: Oh, fuck that! No one fucks with M 's marriage but me!
Blitzo is injected through the neck. He groans and falls unconscious into the trunk as Chaz shuts him in.
Chaz: Sorry, babe, you're not the only junk in my trunk! *realizes* Damn it, that was not a good one!
We cut to the next day. A goon is filling Crimson's mug with coffee. Chaz goes to sit in a seat with another filled mug of coffee, but Crimson gestures him to sit at the other side of the table. Moxxie, Millie, Lincoln, Minnie and the others walk in.
Crimson: Hey, hey! The man of the hour. You ready to get started?
Millie: Wait, where's Blitzo?
Chaz: I think I saw him head outside he said something about *trying and failing to mimic Blitzo's voice* needing some fresh air. *back to normal* Or something. Pfft.
Crimson: Why don't you all *points to the others* grab him so we can get moving?
Millie: Be right back, baby.
She kisses Moxxie on the cheek and leaves. Lincoln glances at Crimson with a low "Hmmm..." before he and the others follow Millie. Lana and Lola glare at Claudia as they walk out, but without the mob seeing, the twins stick around and listen in.
Crimson: What ya looking so glum for, kid? It's your wedding day, the best day of ya life.
Lana: *looks at her twin, whispers* Wedding day?
Lola: *whispers* The fuck is he talki- *covers her mouth and gasps, then pulling her sister back and whispering to her* That fucker's trying to make Moxxie marry that shark bitch!
Lana: *whispers* Noooo!
Lola: *whispers* That's the only way Chaz could join the family!
Moxxie: *off-screen* I'm not doing it.
Lana and Lola silently peek back in.
Crimson: What was that? I couldn't make it out over the sound of you being a whiny bitch.
Moxxie: *slams the table with both hands* I said I'm not doing it, sir. *glares up at him* I've spent my whole life being afraid of you, but I'm not giving up the only good thing I've ever had just so you can keep your fragile little sense of control over everything. Millie is a good woman, a better woman than I deserve, and there's nothing that scares me more than hurting her and our kids. Not even you! I'm leaving, Dad! And if you or Herpes the Clown over here—
Chaz: *offended* Hey!
Moxxie: —try to stop me… you'll learn firsthand… just how good I've gotten at my job.
Moxxie is face-to-face with Crimson now. Claudia comes from behind him and tases Moxxie in the neck. Moxxie groans and falls forward unconscious. He hits his head on the table and then falls to the floor.
Crimson: Now, take care of the others.
Alessio: Even the baby?
Crimson: *narrows his eyes* Even the baby.
Claudia goes and gets a head start, only for her to suddenly get grabbed and thrown out of the window. She looks up, only to see Lana and Lola standing over her in rage.
Lana and Lola: We fucking warned you.
We cut to Millie, Lincoln, Minnie, Ronnie Anne and Lisa searching the carpark outside Crimson's mansion, Millie is confused and worried as they haven't found Blitzo.
Minnie: *hears a bang coming from Chaz's trunk* Ah! Ah!
Lincoln: What is it, Minnie? *glances at the trunk as another bang comes from it* Mom!
Millie comes over and opens it with her knife to see Blitzo dazed inside, still a little out of it.
Blitzo: *groggily* Oh, guys, you found me. Who're your friends?
Ronnie Anne: The fuck are you talking about?
They sense two goons attempting to grab them. Minnie suddenly grabs her mother's knife and stabs one with it while Lincoln bites the other's head off.
The scene cuts to the back garden where a makeshift wedding is set up. Crim has Moxxie in a wedding dress with his hands bound behind his back with rope and his mouth gagged with duct tape.
Elder Jaws: Is everyone here?
Crimson: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Let's get this thing rolling, ey?
Moxxie: *mouth behind duct tape* Mmmph!
Chaz: Awww, you told me all the chairs would be filled!
Crimson sighs and presses a button which causes dildos with smiley faces to pop out of all of the seats, including the two that have goons sitting on them.
Crimson: Satisfied?
Chaz: Oh, fuck yes!
We cut back to the car park. Millie pulls Blitzo out of the trunk, holding him up to support him.
Millie: What's goin' on?
Blitzo: *groggily* That seductive dick-hole is trying to marry Moxxie, and he's not even rich!
Lincoln: *enraged* WHAT?!
Millie/Minnie: *panicked* Moxxie!/Dada!
Millie and Lincoln run to the front door. Suddenly metal shutters block off all doors and exit the house, including the front gate to the estate.
Lincoln: *roars out* SHIT!
We cut back to the wedding.
Elder Jaws: Do you, Chazwick Thurman, take Moxxie Knolastname to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Moxxie: *muffled behind the gag* No! No! No! Let me go! Please let me go!
Chaz: Oh, yeah.
Elder Jaws: And do you, Moxxie... whatever, take Chazwick Thurman to be your lawfully wedded- Uh...
Moxxie: *muffled behind the gag* Millie! Millie!
Moxxie tries to pull away and almost escapes until Crimson pulls him back. Crimson forces Moxxie to face the priest and forcibly nods his head.
Crimson: Look at that! He's just so fucking happy to be here!
Back outside.
Lincoln and Ronnie Anne are angrily clawing at the shutter, trying to rip it open. Lisa even bashes them with her mechanical limbs, but no dice.
Millie: *panicking* Everything's locked down! How are we gonna get in?
Minnie: *tears form in her eyes as she looks ready to cry* Dada!
Blitzo feels around the jacket until he finds Chaz's keys. He grabs Millie and pulls her to his car and opens the door to climb in the driver's seat. Millie then goes into the passenger seat as Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, Lisa and Minnie get in the back. Blitzo turns the car and its radio on, which begins to immediately play "Loo Loo Land" on the Mammon Channel, to which he stops putting his seat belt on to find a different song, which then cycles to Station 69 which is playing "Vacay to Bonetown". Blitzo keeps changing the channel until he gets to Wrath's #1 "F-ck you up" Hits, which begins to play "Crashin' a muthafukin' Wedding".
Blitzo: Buckle up, guys... we're doing a Shrek!
Blitzo crashes the car through the wall to the wedding scene and steps out dazed.
Blitzo: *groggily* I object! *faceplants on the ground*
Claudia is suddenly sent crashing through the wall, slamming right into Chaz. Lana and Lola step out of the hole in the wall, eyes blazing. Millie, Lincoln, Minnie and Ronnie Anne leap out of the car, standing at the end of the aisle with the twins. Lisa walks out as T.O.D.D. lands by her and then transforms into a mech suit for her. All of them growling as their eyes glow.
Millie: You want my husband...
Lincoln: *snarls and transforms into his Zodiac form* ... you're gonna have to kill ALL of us!
Minnie: YAH! *punches her little fists together*
Crimson groans and snaps his fingers, ordering his goons to kill them all. The goons all stand up to face them and Millie lunges toward them first. She begins slaughtering the goons with ease, tearing out the skull, jaw, and spinal column of different goons, and spits out the still-beating heart of another. Millie then begins fighting off four other goons with her knife. Lincoln roars as he bites down on one's arm and then tosses them away, causing their pistol to fall in Minnie's hands. Minnie fires the pistol wildly, hitting four goons in the heads as Ronnie Anne jams her claws down a goon's throat and rips out their intestines, before using them to strangle another as Minnie shoots the now intestine-less goon in the face. Lincoln sweeps Minnie up with his tail and claws through another few goons. Lana and Lola viciously tear through the charging mob, fighting back to back and covering each other's blind spots. Lisa flies up as her arms turn to miniguns as she opens fire and tears through the mob.
Crimson: *angrily* What the FUCK?! It's a dame, some mutts, and a BABY!
He spots a goon hanging from the altar in a noose made from another's intestines and throws him towards Millie.
Crimson: They're a BROAD and a few brats! Kill them!
He sees the goon he just threw at Millie get chopped into bits of sushi before another goon thrown by her lands on top of him. Millie continues her rampage and impales several goons on the dildo poles. Lincoln grabs a chair and slams it into a goon's face, then ripping out that goon's jaws to use as makeshift brass knuckles. Ronnie Anne then aggressively rips a goon in half and starts beating the shit out of another goon in a bloody display. Lana then gets pinned to the ground by one goon, only for Lola to gouge his eyes out, then rip his head off as Lana rips his body in half, then grabbing his ribs and using them as daggers. Lisa shoves her miniguns into one goon's mouth and shreds his insides, then creates a rocket launcher and blasts one to bloody chunks.
Crimson: *in the background as the fight keeps going* You frigging goons! What the fuck is the matter with you? Why do I pay you!? Get them! You stupid idiots! Go get 'em!
Millie kicks a dildo into a goon's gun, blocking the barrel and causing it to explode. After impaling another goon, she gets knocked with a chair and goes flying into the cracked windshield of Chaz's car. Blitzo yells and takes a poor swing at hitting the goon. Minnie jumps over and beats a goon with a gas can, shoving it in their mouth. Millie then uses Blitzo as a saber, slicing an incoming goon apart with the latter's horns and takes the goon's pistol, and detonates the goon holding the gas can.
The priest puts his book down and puts both his hands up and quickly leaves, flipping off everyone still alive.
One of the few surviving goons gets elbow dropped in the skull by Lincoln, killing the goon who was placed inside the former's jaws. Then Millie ties the goon up behind Chaz's car and gets dragged throughout the venue before Millie brings the car to a halt, crushing the goon's skull.
As Millie leaves the car and angrily approaches the alter, a goon tries to suckerpunch her, but Millie knocks him out. She whips her tail and glares daggers at Crimson, then grabs Moxxie and hoists him over her shoulder.
Chaz: Hey! What about my—?! *Millie shoves a dildo down his throat*
Millie: This ass is MINE!
She slaps Moxxie's rear, causing him to blush slightly. Crimson suddenly gets grabbed by the neck and slammed into the wall, cracking it as the absolutely FURIOUS Lincoln tightly holds his throat.
Lincoln: *his anger rises with each word* You better fucking listen when I shove this threat into your puny-ass brain, *the Zodiac aura starts to form and crackle around him* cause you're going to pass the word to every goddamn mafia gang you know. *his eyes start to turn pure orange* Let this crashed wedding be a warning to you, "Gramps." We just turned your place into a massive slaughterhouse.
Lincoln then strikes him across the face, cutting DEEP across his left eye as he falls to the ground, now blinded in his left eye.
Lincoln: *growling* Mess with my family again... and you're gonna end up like your little buddy, Spade.
Crimson's one eye widens as he remembers back to the day he read about Spade's entire mafia being slaughtered years ago. It was said Spade's mafia died to a Hellhound, and Moxxie had even warned Crimson that the Hellhound could come for him next. Now... that same Hellhound was standing before him, having slaughtered most of his mafia, while also being the son of Moxxie.
Claudia tries to pick herself up, but has a broken leg. She glares at Lana and Lola, who return the glare and flip her off.
Lana and Lola: See you never, bitch.
Blitzo: By the way, y'all should probably know, *Millie picks him up as Lincoln picks up Minnie* Chaz isn't even rich, okay? Check his car, *Crimson's now single eye slightly widens* he just played you like a fucking rube. Later, losers! *flips them the bird*
I.M.P hop the destroyed fence and take a waiting helicopter while throwing Chaz's car keys on the ground. The helicopter flies away with a banner saying "WE'RE Married, BITCH" over the original words "Just Got Married" using blood and extra taped fabric. While Chaz is trying to dislodge the dildo from his mouth, Crimson and Claudia slowly turn to glare at him.
Claudia: You what?
Chaz: *nervously* Ehh... heh, heh, heh.
Cut back to I.M.P where the helicopter arrives; Loona, not having moved an inch from her chair, quickly glances at the camera, and gives an angry shrug.
The group, minus Lincoln and Lisa, disembark the helicopter, which then flies up onto the roof. Moxxie hugs Millie and Minnie as Lincoln and Lisa then drops in, having parked the helicopter on the roof, before Lincoln joins the hug as well.
Moxxie: Guys, thank you for saving me. You're amazing.
Minnie: *giggles* Dada.
Lincoln: Anything for you, Dad.
Millie: *smiles* Next time, just tell us if your dad is a psychopath - We can handle it.
Blitzo: Well, I'm glad everything ended up okay. Good to know we both have daddy issues, Mox. *noogies Moxxie* Also, I got to plow your ex-boyfriend; isn't that great? Now we ALL fucked the same guy. *hugs Moxxie and Millie tightly*
Scene cuts back to Crimson's mansion, as the mafia boss goes into the dining room where his trophy wall is located and places the torn-out jaw of Chaz, implying that he ordered the latter's death for lying to him. Crimson, now wearing an eyepatch over his blind left eye, then growls and throws a dagger at his family portrait, the knife aimed for a young Moxxie's forehead, but missing and hitting the edge of the frame instead thanks to his new lack of depth perception.
Crimson: *facepalms in annoyance* Fuck...
The full version of "Chaz Time" plays during the end credits.
