It was a dark and stormy night on Baker Street.
Torrents of water poured down past the concrete and into the sewer. A man would simply huddle up and shuffle along back to his home, but a mouse would easily be swept away into the sewer. She had realized this the instant she had downed the blue mushroom and shrunk in size, to hide from her enemies.
The woman in the brown coat placed her hands in her pockets and shuffled along. She stopped, her eyes flitting over the address on the building, before her gaze fell on the mousehole. She raised her gloved hand and knocked.
The door opened.
"Oh my." The mouse on the other side said.
"My deepest apologies." Princess Peach said. "But is this the home of Basil of Baker Street?"
"It is, Madame." The Mouse said, somewhat shakily, as she stepped into the home, removing her hat. "But- how is this possible?"
"How indeed, Dawson?"
The Mouse on the chair in front of the fire beckoned her to approach. She did so, smiling serenely. The mouse lit a pipe and observed her, his eyes glinting.
"You are Princess Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom… Peach by name. You sit fire to Princess Belle's prized library in the Disney Castle and have now gone into hiding. Am I correct?"
"You are." Peach said. "Although I dare say it wasn't hard to deduce. If I were free to walk among the humans I would have consulted the man upstairs."
"Quite right." Basil said, as he puffed some smoke. "But I dare say you would be very disappointed… his knowledge on this particular matter is nowhere near equal to my own. Indeed, in certain respects he is rather far removed from such things…" He eyed her carefully. "As I am sure, you once were."
"I don't understand." Peach said. "You live in the same city, and yet-"
"Let us start at the beginning." Basil continued, eyeing her carefully. "I daresay you have sought me out for a reason?"
"I was told that you could help me." Peach said. "I desire my knowledge of this new enemy. I have confronted none like them in all of my years."
The Mouse lowered his pipe.
"Dawson, fetch the lady some tea." He barked. "I daresay we are going to be here for a while."
"Yes… Basil."
The chubby Mouse hurriedly made his way to the other room.
"That was of course, Dr. Dawson, who I consult with on all of my cases." He said. "Perhaps he could be of help to you as well…" He stared at her very keenly. "If I may, dear girl. You very much resemble a Princess of Disney."
"It was why I was brought here." Peach said quietly, as Dawson came back, carrying a cup of tea on a tray. "They thought to bring me under their heel… to control me."
"As they have with many others." The Mouse Detective said gravely. "There was one not so long ago, Princess Leia, that was brought here and forced into their servitude. She was never the same." He puffed the pipe, deep in thought.
"What happened to her?"
"She was forced to become something she wasn't." Basil said simply. "She was a great, beloved woman. She let a rebellion to overthrow an evil emperor. She fought alongside her soldiers and helped establish a new Republic after the Empire fell. But Disney put an end to all of that."
Peach felt a shiver run down her spine that she had rarely felt before.
"Who is Disney?" She repeated softly. "The name has been repeated to me, but I still do not know."
Basil set his pipe down.
"They are a company." He said. "A business conglomerate so vast and so powerful that it seeks to control the entire world. The real world, I mean… the world that exists outside of this fiction." He considered her, frowning. "You do not seem surprised to be told that you are nothing but a fantasy."
"I am well aware." Peach said, as she took a sip of her tea. It was delicious. "But I find it just as surprising that you know."
"Yes, well, Disney is the Corporation that owns us all." Basil said. "Films… theme parks… they own it all. There are, however, a scant few outside of their control that continue to exist and thrive. I take it you are a product of Dreamworks?"
"No." Peach answered. "Nintendo."
"Nintendo?" Basil furrowed his nose. "That is not a name I am familiar with."
"It's a Japanese brand." Peach said quietly. "It was formed to manufacture playing cards in 1889. But it got a major break in developing video game software, and ever since has dominated that industry. As of last year they have produced their first full animated film."
"Ahhhh." Basil said. "That must have been what got their attention." He learned forward. "You have entered their territory."
"Yes." Peach said quietly.
The Mouse Detective sat back in his chair and considered her.
"Yes, I can see it." He said quietly. "You have the elegance and grace of a Disney Princess… but the humor and humility of an ordinary girl. I can see that you've been surviving on the streets these past few days. And you had enough sense to seek me out."
"Why are you so opposed to the Company?" Peach asked. "If you are owned by them-"
"Bah, they haven't bothered us in years." Basil said, waving his hand dismissively. "We weren't as marketable as many of their later films… in a way we have been lost to history."
Peach felt a pang in her heart. She recalled other Smash Bros fighters who had not been as fortunate as her to become company icons. Popo and Nana of the Ice Climbers had not gotten a new entry past their initial release, and Mr. Game and Watch was relegated to retro collections. It was a simple fact of business: If you did not make money, you did not get made.
"Still, though, we are in a fortunate enough position." Basil said. "We are close enough to the Company to seek to destroy it… but not close enough to arouse suspicion from our enemies. That is to say… your enemies."
"The Seven Princesses of Heart."
"The Disney Princesses, yes." Basil said. "There are far more than seven, I'll have you now, but there are certainly several that are more popular than others… and the more popular you are, the more you have to work to keep the company happy. If you don't work, you run the risk of your brand being tarnished, and being replaced."
"The Seven are vying to keep their status."
"Precisely." Basil said. "All the evil they do… the lives they ruin, the companies they acquire, all of it is nothing more than a vanity project for a number of spoiled women who are desperate to remain as popular as they were during their debut. I imagine it was by their influence that you were called here."
"Perhaps." Peach said, her voice sounding doubtful. "They wanted to seize control of the Mushroom Kingdom. They wanted me to sign over control to them."
"And you refused them."
"Of course." Peach answered. "I have no intention of selling."
'Of course you're not." Basil answered. "But Disney has a way of getting its way." He leaned in closer to her. "They will kidnap you if they must."
Peach couldn't help it. She laughed.
"I think I'll be fine, if that comes to pass." She said. "But what I'm more concerned about is the state of this city."
"Ah yes." Basil said, his voice heavy. "London."
He turned to the window.
"This was a major setting for classic Disney products." He said. "My film took place here… alongside a number of other properties. The city used to be a major beacon of human civilization."
"I'm aware." Peach said. "I've raced karts here before."
"As a result of that, many of the company's discarded products end up here." He said. "I daresay this is how you ended up here… after leaving Disneyland proper. This realm is a twisted amalgamation of different properties and ideas. Some of them, such as the man who lives just upstairs, are not even owned by the company. But in they come, all the same."
"A number of them may be allies."
Basil was already shaking his head.
"What good would it do?" He asked. "You mustn't try to fight the company. Return home, to your Kingdom, and relish in the fact that you are not living under his tyranny."
He raised his finger and pointed it at the painting on the mantelpiece. Peach looked.
Sitting there, smiling at her, as another mouse. Her first thought, strangely enough, was that he reminded her of Mario. He had the same friendly expression and oversized gloves…
"Mickey Mouse." Basil said, his voice darkly. "The one who controls Disney."
Peach gave him a sharp look.
"I thought the Princesses were my enemy."
"They exist to serve him, and his interests." Basil said, his voice grim. "He is the creation of Walt Disney… the founder of the company in the real world. He was a beloved animation icon… once. But now… he has become the face of the company as it throttles the rest of the world."
Peach stared at the painting, her lips pursed.
"He is the symbol of what modern Disney has become." Basil said, his voice heavy. "His power is absolute. The only reason we are secure here, in this place, is because he cares too little about us to exploit us. His empire is so vast that his board of directors cannot even be bothered to remember that we exist."
Peach continued staring. She committed the picture to memory. The formations of an idea were beginning to form in her mind. This… this was the reason why she was brought here. This was her purpose. To overthrow this tyrant and restore peace to Disney Land.
"Good people made this company great… once." Basil said disparagingly. Peach stood up.
"Good people are still here, Detective." She said primly. "It is simply a matter of dealing with the problem."
She placed a hand on her chin and began pacing. "If we simply destroy the Company's primary source of revenue… the Disney Princesses… than the company would lose a considerable amount of its influence."
Basil smiled.
"You're beginning to sound like a Detective."
Peach grinned at him cheekily.
"I've dabbled in Detective Work." She said. "The Disney Princesses were right to fear me… I will give everything I have to free Disney Land from their tyranny."
"Bold words, Princess." Basil said. "But how will it be done?"
Peach smiled.
"Seven princesses… one evil king." She said. "That makes eight in total. One after the other… once the first falls, the others will fall like domines. They always do." Her eyes glinted. "I have seen it happen. Many, many times…"
Basil watched her as she turned back to the door. The storm was still pouring outside.
"Thank you for your insight, Detective." She said primly. "But I think it's time for me to take my leave. It would not do to drag you our your friends into this matter."
"Now see here, Princess-" Dawson began, speaking for the first time in a long while. "You haven't the faintest idea what you are up against! The Company owns some of the biggest brands in the world! You will be going up against some of the biggest names in fiction and you-"
Peach smiled at him.
"You are very sweet to be concerned about me." She said. "But this is what I want to do. This is what I am here for, and this is what I will do." She closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath. She imagined Mario's face smiling back at her.
"It's hard, being the hero." He had told her once. "But you do it because you have to see the job done."
