Three days later, I woke up with a burst of nervous energy the morning of the mission. I went through the bag I had packed the evening before yet again. It sat on top of the metal crate that held my armor. I glanced at the time. Thirty minutes to muster.
My front door signal went off—a rarity. Though I expected to see a droid, I found Major Duval and a grumpy-looking Hux standing there.
"My lady," the former said, dipping his head respectfully. "General Hux has asked me to administer your vaccine for your upcoming travels."
"Please, come in."
As I waved him inside, I gave Hux an icy look when he entered first. I rolled my sleeve up and sat on the couch as Duval prepared the injection. When the intramuscular needle pierced my skin, I winced. It left behind a burning sensation.
"Fifteen minutes of monitoring for any adverse reaction," Duval advised with a sympathetic smile.
I nodded. "Understood."
"I'll take it from here, Major," Hux said, stepping forward.
"...Very well, sir."
Fifteen minutes! my mind screamed.
I gingerly rolled my sleeve down as Duval left. Hux stood before me, his usual pinched expression in place and his hands balled at his sides. An imminent lecture of unknown origin blazed in his eyes.
"Allow me to take this opportunity to remind you that you are, in fact, no general. You are no military tactician. You entirely lack leadership experience outside of a handful of Stormtrooper excursions. You are, in fact, just a girl."
At the end of this, my pride reared its ugly head. I stood to my feet, snapped the front of my gray tunic, and raised my chin.
"Allow me to remind you that I happen to be the daughter of a very influential man. Ambassador Caltrel of the Andromeda Fleet. I have seen firsthand who controls the levers of power in this Galaxy, closer than you could ever dream of."
He faltered at this, but only slightly. "Your...background may give you special insight into politics, but not war."
"War and politics are inexorably linked, General."
"That does not detract from the need to win this war at all costs," he ground out angrily. "And we will not accomplish this with your sickening pacifist influence on Ren."
I crossed my arms. "I am no pacifist, Hux. I have every desire for the First Order to end this war."
"End? Or win?"
"Both."
He took half a step forward. "Without decisive action, neither is possible."
The statement sent a tremor of worry throughout my mind. When he detected this, his expression became smug.
"If you truly desire our success, I propose an arrangement," he said evenly. "An alliance."
"Get to the point," I snapped.
He deadpanned. "Ren lacks the tactical instincts of Snoke. Time and again, he does not listen to good counsel. By ignoring the wisdom of his Generals, he will drive the First Order to ruin."
I swallowed with difficulty.
"However," he continued, calmer. "It seems he will listen to you."
"Hux..." I shook my head. "Whatever conspiracy you're planning—he'll see through it."
"I've seen the way he looks at you," he murmured. "He has stopped reading your mind, hasn't he?"
As soon as I opened my mouth to deny it, I realized he was right. Kylo hadn't used his power on me since the night I lost the baby. My mind began to conjure possible reasons as Hux continued.
"After his little mission, I invite you to attend the war meetings. Guide him toward the Generals' advice. Your influence over him need not go to waste."
He's overcalculating my influence. I set my jaw as I actually considered it. Having accomplished his objective, he turned to leave.
"At the very least, consider my offer."
"'Offer'?" I scoffed. "What exactly do I get in return?"
His lips twisted into a smirk as he bowed himself low before me. "Victory, my lady."
Hux's words distracted me all morning. Dressed as Captain Phasma, I oversaw the loading of the command shuttle in the hangar bay. A blaster rifle clung to the magnetic plate on my back, and a riot baton was strapped to my thigh, partially concealed by my shoulder cape. Ripples of excitement ran through the Stormtrooper units assigned to the mission. Several approached me, thanking me for the honor of serving with me. Keeping up the facade felt wrong somehow, but it was easy enough.
A hush fell over the hangar when Kylo entered. He wore his helmet, which was now carved with red fissures that seemed to glow from within. The Troopers, their unit leaders, and the shuttle's crew stood at attention for his arrival. As he marched up the ramp, they broke ranks and followed behind him in small groups. I brought up the rear with the unit leaders.
Once everyone was gathered in the common area, Kylo gave the at-ease order. As he began the brief, my eyes went to the large viewport where Vegas and I had shared many conversations.
"You've all read the mission brief, so this will be quick." His tone was amicable beneath the growl of the voice filter. "Malastare is home to some of the oldest Jedi ruins in the Galaxy. We've received intel on a device that can be utilized to pinpoint the location of all Jedi temples, both known and unknown. I am certain all of you agree that such knowledge cannot fall into the hands of the Resistance."
Nods and grunts went through the room.
"Upon arrival, we will conduct thorough scans of the planet's surface to determine our landing zone. Since the terrain is dense forest, we may utilize smaller transports to land. In the meantime, the pilots will conduct multiple precise hyperspace jumps to reach the Unknown Regions. Any questions?"
One of the unit leaders raised his hand. "Sir, I read that Malastare is populated."
"Correct, Sergeant. Scattered villages of primitive lifeforms. If we do encounter resistance, no quarter will be given. As usual."
I frowned underneath my helmet.
The room dispersed to settle in for the several-hour journey to the Unknown Regions. Kylo and I made our way to the officer's deck. To better conceal my identity, all officers had been quartered on the enlisted deck. We rode the speed lift in silence.
While I removed my stuffy helmet and shook out my hair, Kylo remained still with his hands behind his back. He spoke in his mechanical voice, in a tone that was impossible to decipher.
"You've been avoiding me."
"No," I lied breathily.
"Hm."
I felt a flash of heat when I recalled our encounter the other morning. A pain in my arm distracted me. When I moved it around, he glanced over at me.
"Just sore from the vaccine," I explained.
"Vaccine?"
"Hux's vaccine. For the mission."
"Hm."
As we stepped off the lift, the shuttle lurched off the deck of the hangar. Only a few moments passed before the silky smoothness of space travel kicked in. We walked in step down the corridor with a strange heaviness between us. I stopped in front of the door labeled "CPT," and he continued on without a word.
"Kylo," I called.
He immediately froze.
"What am I to you?" I asked quietly. "I need to know because...everyone thinks I'm your courtesan."
He turned halfway. "Courtesan to the Supreme Leader. A woman who is both respected and feared," he mused. "Isn't that enough?"
Despite the cold, I felt heat creeping up my chest and neck. He started approaching me, and I looked away and clutched my helmet under my arm. Though we were practically the same height, I felt small.
"You know my feelings for you, Lucia," he murmured. "Don't question them."
I nodded stiffly, refusing to look at him. However, when I heard his helmet decompress, my eyes curiously sought out his face. His eyes seemed to trace every millimeter of my expression. After a moment, he stepped forward and cupped my cheek. The cold leather warmed instantly on my flushed skin.
He kissed me. In spite of myself, I responded with eagerness. He pulled away too soon, leaving me breathless and in want of more.
"Get some rest," he instructed softly. "There won't be much on Malastare."
Though I spent the next several hours in my quarters, my mind was in his. The walls were thinner than in the command suite, and my ears picked up every minute sound. Sleep was impossible. The spell he cast over me was as irresistible as always, if not more so. If he ever locked me out of his life, I would beg for egress.
As I lay in bed, aimlessly staring at the ceiling, I heard muffled yet distinct words that made me sit up immediately.
"Rey. Not now."
