Chapter 14

The next few weeks passed happily for Elizabeth, with only occasional dark patches to mar her joy. She met Darcy and Georgiana two or three times a week, often for tea at Darcy House, once to the menagerie, once to Gunter's for ice, other times for walks in lesser-known parks. There were still Vincent's spurts of anger, and the occasional dinner she had to host for his friends, but mostly he ignored her. Darcy and Elizabeth exchanged letters regularly; and, while they shared nothing personal in the missives, Elizabeth treasured each one all the same.

It was two months after they arrived in London that Elizabeth woke up one morning, and immediately realized that she was about to be sick. She scrambled out of bed and barely made it to the chamber pot before she vomited up seemingly the very lining of her stomach. She stayed poised over the chamber pot, waiting to be sick again, when she heard Sarah enter her bedchamber.

"Are you all right, my lady?" she asked.

Realizing she was not going to be sick again immediately, Elizabeth moved away from the chamber pot and lay back down on the bed. "Oh, Sarah, I must have eaten something tainted," she said.

Her maid did not answer for a moment, and Elizabeth opened her eyes to peer at her. "What is it, Sarah?"

"Could you be with child, mistress?" Sarah said at last. "You missed your courses last month."

Elizabeth had not even thought about that possibility. Now that she thought about it, she had been so happy and busy that she had not even noticed her missed courses.

"Oh, no, Sarah, what am I going to do!" she cried, filled with a terrible anxiety. If she was, indeed, expecting Vincent's baby, she would have no way to protect her child from his abuse, even while it was in her womb. What if Vincent beat her while she was pregnant? She would lose the child!

"Now, my lady, do not worry. We do not know for sure," said Sarah bracingly. "Why don't I have the physician discreetly sent for while Lord Carlisle is not here. The doctor will know whether you are with child or not." Elizabeth slowly nodded at the soundness of this advice. "Now, in the meantime, I will get you some tea and dry toast to settle your stomach. If you are, indeed, increasing, the sickness should fade later in the day."

Elizabeth lay in bed until Sarah came back with the promised viands, trying not to think about what would happen if she truly were with child. As much as she wanted a child to love, she was terrified of raising that child with Vincent as a father. She set to praying.

She nibbled on the dry toast and sipped the tea, and by the time the physician arrived, her stomach had settled. Sarah had thought to summon a doctor who was not Vincent's private physician, for there would be no withholding the information from her husband if that had been the case. Elizabeth had never met this physician before, but he was a kindly gentleman of about five-and-thirty. He asked Elizabeth a few pertinent questions, did a brief examination, and declared that she was around six-weeks with child.

Elizabeth held in her tears until the doctor left.


Sarah came back into the chamber to find her mistress weeping and tried the best she could to comfort her.

"Try to think of the best sides of this, my lady," she encouraged Elizabeth. "It is not likely he will keep you in London while you are with child, is it? Will he not send you back to the country?"

"That is true," said Elizabeth, sitting up and attempting to dry her tears. "He will probably send me to Campton Manor. He will be glad to have an excuse to be rid of me for a time."

She was torn about the possibility. For, while her confinement would pass safely that way, she would be separated from Darcy and Georgiana, both of whom she loved.

"You had best tell Lord Carlisle soon then, mistress," Sarah said.

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes. I will tell him tonight at dinner."

With that she let Sarah help her up and prepare for the day.


Elizabeth waited until Vincent had taken the edge off his hunger and his temper before telling him the news.

"Vincent, I found out this morning that I am with child."

Carlisle stopped with a forkful of chicken halfway to his lips. His face broke into a smile. "At last, some good news!" he cried. "With all the bastards I have, I finally will have a legitimate heir. I will get you to Campton Manor to pass your confinement. But it had better be a boy, do you hear me, Elizabeth?" he said threateningly.

Elizabeth wanted to retort angrily that she had no control over such a thing, but she bit her tongue. "When shall I leave?" she asked instead.

"In the next few days. I am growing bored of London. I think I will go to Bath for Christmas."

Elizabeth knew he liked to spend his time at the social centers of England rather than his country estate, and was thankful he had not decided to go to Gloucestershire with her. Still, she felt a pang that she would be leaving Darcy. For, while they could not ever be together, and she could not even express her love for him in any way, she had come to rely on seeing his dear face, hearing his voice, basking in his presence. But now even that would be taken away from her.


Darcy was working on his correspondence when a footman came to tell him that Miss Darcy had requested his presence. Lady Carlisle had arrived.

Elizabeth? Here? Darcy wondered with a leaping of his heart. She was not supposed to visit for two more days. No matter the reason, he was delighted she was here now.

He entered the drawing room to find Georgiana serving tea to their guest. Elizabeth looked pale, and he could see barely perceptible lines of strain on her face, but that was only because he knew her so well. He was instantly worried. Had Carlisle hurt her again?

She made an attempt to smile at him at he entered. He smiled back. "Lady Carlisle, what a pleasure to see you," he said.

"I was just telling Elizabeth the same thing," said Georgiana. "I wish she would surprise us with visits more often!" she laughed in delight.

If possible, Elizabeth looked even more miserable at Georgiana's words. Darcy wondered how he could ask Elizabeth what was wrong with Georgiana sitting there.

"Indeed. I wish I could do it more often. However, the reason I have come so unexpectedly today is to bid you farewell, and thank you for the pleasure of your company this season."

Darcy's heart stopped beating for a moment. "Farewell?" he and Georgiana said at the same time. Darcy noticed that Georgiana looked upset.

"Yes. I am leaving tomorrow to go back to my husband's estate in Gloucestershire."

"I hope everything is well?" asked Darcy, his throat clogged.

Elizabeth attempted a smile. "Yes. Lord Carlisle and I are expecting a child. He wishes for my confinement to pass safely in the country."

Darcy's whole being at once filled with horror and misery. He tried, and was almost always successful, in banishing thoughts of that monster making love to the woman Darcy loved, running his hands over that exquisite body, kissing her sweet lips, burying himself in her tight warmth, hearing her cries of pleasure. And now, not only was he faced with the reality of that horror, but she was going to be taken away from him and Georgiana for a year or more. Would he ever see her again?

He was barely aware of Georgiana offering happy congratulations and Elizabeth responding with appropriate words. Elizabeth was standing and telling Georgiana that she would look forward to corresponding with her when Darcy finally came to himself.

"We shall certainly miss the pleasure of your company, Lady Carlisle," said Darcy in a thick voice, the ache of tears in his throat. "I am sure Georgiana will look forward to receiving your letters," he said, his look informing her that he would look forward to receiving letters from her too. He saw from her answering look that she understood. Then Georgiana was hugging her with a few tears and Darcy was bowing over her hand and she was walking out of the room. Out of Darcy House. Out of London.

Out of his life.

Darcy was back in his study sitting behind his desk when the first sob broke from his throat.