Act of Trust

Author's Note: HELLO I AM BACK! I've been out of the country the last two weeks but I'm home now and so excited to share the rest of this book with you! We are entering the final chapters and will wrap the book up for James's canonical birthday on March 27th 3 Thanks for sticking the break out! Hope you enjoy :)

ALSO special shout out to whoever binged my fic around March 8th and left me over a dozen reviews... this one's for you ;) your reviews MADE MY DAY! Thanks for reading and leaving comments and loving this fic so much. It means the world 3


Hogsmeade morning dawns a week later, full of sunshine and anticipation, which is good. I need a fun day out. We haven't had a Hogsmeade trip since before Christmas and I'm excited to be part of the bustle.

And… okay. I'm excited to be going to Hogsmeade with James.

"I told you Hogsmeade days would look different once you had a bloke to go with," Alice teases, and I stick my tongue out at her but grin when she isn't looking. She's right. It really does.

And we all have dates to go with today – Alice with Frank, Emmeline with Rosier, and me with James. Even Marlene's got a date. I know James and I have been on a Hogsmeade date together before, but we'd been in a weird place then, so today I'm quite looking forward to our first real date. No complications, lunch with friends, holding hands, kissing in the sunshine…

It's going to be a good day.

Also, I haven't told him about my revelation yet, the one I had while talking to Severus last week. All week it's felt like this delicious little secret, so tender and precious I want the moment to be just right to tell him. Whenever I meet his eyes, whenever he laughs, whenever he takes my hand and presses it to his lips, the words pulse in my fingertips. I love you.

I'm hoping that sometime in between all the Hogsmeade festivities, there'll be a time that feels perfect enough.

We take breakfast early, and there's a cheerful, celebratory kind of mood in the Great Hall. Even seeing Carol at the Gryffindor table can't kill my mood, though I apparently can kill hers. As soon as we settle into our seats, she pops up with a glare hot enough to singe my hair and leaves. I grimace at Mary, who follows her out with a sympathetic look at me. James ignores them completely.

I'd filled him in on the entire exchange between Carol and me last Sunday afternoon, after he'd rested up from the night out with the other Marauders. He had, to put it lightly, been outraged. I think it was worse for him than it was for me to find out, since he felt so betrayed. I always knew Carol hated me and was a bit of a brat, but apparently this is all a revelation to James.

When he'd finally calmed down and stopped ranting about everything from the wedding invitation to calling me 'Mudblood' to working with the Slytherins at all, he said, "I can't believe she told you, though. About her dad, and last year."

"I'm glad," I said. "Think I hate her less now for it."

He sighed. "I don't know, Lily. If she really has been this terrible to you this whole time, I think you might be justified hating her. But, yeah. Last year was… a lot. For everyone."

"Except me, apparently," I said, and he laughed.

"You're allowed to have had a good year while the rest of us were struggling. But... it all really was a mess. We were close enough at that point I didn't feel like I could just ditch her when she was going through it all. It happened right around the time I'd started figuring out I didn't like her the way I thought I did, and it just made everything so complicated with us. It was a mess," he said again, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't know," I said.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you,"

"Don't be," I said, and I meant it.

"But now," he said, "I'm out of secrets. You know them all." He grinned at me, suddenly mischievous. "Gonna ditch me now the mystery has passed?"

"Don't count on it," I'd said, poking his cheek.

He laughed. "Good."

"Ready to go?" James asks now from across the table.

"Already?" Alice asks in surprise.

"We're going to stop in at Dumbledore's office on our way out," I explain. "We actually got our monthly reports done ahead of schedule for once."

"Finally whipping him into shape, Evans?" Sirius says, and James shoves him off, but I grin at Sirius.

"Gotta clear out all your bad influences, Black," I say, and he toasts me with a slice of bacon.

"Fair enough."

"Whip me into shape, really?" James says as we leave the Great Hall. "And here I was thinking you like me the way I am."

"Everybody's got their rough edges."

"Sounds a little like the pot calling the kettle–oh." James breaks off, then regains his composure. "Snape. Hi."

I clear my throat. "Hey, Sev."

It's been an odd last week with Sev. He skipped our Sunday morning study session for the first time ever, and fastidiously ignored me in all our Potions lessons, choosing to sit with Rosier and the others and leaving me to sit with James. Which, like, not a bad thing, but worrying. I'd really been hopeful we could maintain some semblance of a friendship through the rest of the year, but if he couldn't take James, I wasn't going to push him.

And now here the three of us are, standing uncomfortably in the Entrance Hall together.

"Hi," he says. He flicks his dark eyes between the two of us like he can't decide who he wants to settle on. "I was looking for you."

"Oh?" I say.

"Not you," he says, and I duck my head, embarrassed and a little bit stung. "You. Potter."

Well, this feels oddly familiar. And I have a bad feeling about it. The last time Severus wanted to talk to James and not me, I ended up in the Hospital Wing for three days. "Nuh uh," I say. "You guys are not cutting me out this time."

"Of course not," Severus says. "But it's Potter I need the favor from."

I glance at James. A favor for Severus? I wonder how he'll take that request.

But James answers easily. "Sure. After all, I still owe you for the Hogsmeade tip last month."

"That's what I thought," Severus says. A muscle in his neck twitches. "And I'm hoping you mean that, because I need the Map."

There's a full minute of silence where the two boys stare at each other.

"What for?" James says finally.

"You're going into Hogsmeade today?" Severus asks.

"Yes," he says warily.

"Well, I'm not," Severus says. "Because neither are Rosier and the others. And I figured with the Map I could keep a better eye on them here."

"Why do you need the Map for that?" I interject. "If you're already here with them."

"They... don't trust me so much anymore," Sev says slowly. He looks down, his cheeks pink. "I think you and I have been too close this year for that."

James shifts uncomfortably, but I nod. That makes sense.

"Whatever they're planning today, they've deliberately kept me out of their plans and made it clear I'm not welcome along. I thought if I had the Map while I'm here, I could watch for trouble and if I see anything I can let you know, and you guys don't need to be bothered about it and just... enjoy your day out."

"How would you let us know?" James demands, but I'm already ready with the answer.

"Our pouches," I say, and Sev nods.

"If I need you, I'll slip a note inside."

"What pouches?" James asks, looking between the two of us.

I quickly explain about the linked pouches Sev and I have that we've used to share notes and memories all year long. "So, anything he puts in his shows up in mine, and vice versa."

"Oh," James says. "That's... cool." But I can tell he's bothered by the idea. If we weren't with Sev and the circumstances weren't so serious, I might have teased him about it.

"Look," Sev says. "Just let me do this. I'm sick of them stringing me along and I would like to feel more useful. You're always getting mixed up with them. Just take the day off and let me cover it." He holds out his hand, and the light catches a pale thin scar on his palm, identical to James's. "You can trust me."

James looks at his open hand, eyebrows lowered. At long last he reaches slowly into his pocket and pulls out a large, folded piece of paper I know well. Severus extends his hand out further, but James doesn't hand it over yet. "And you'll give it back at the end of the day?"

"Of course," Severus says.

There's another excruciatingly long moment where James holds Severus's gaze. Then, never breaking eye contact, he withdraws his wand and taps the parchment, muttering too quietly for Sev to hear. We watch the ink bloom across the surface.

Finally, when the transformation is completely, James extends his hand and slowly drops the Marauder's Map into Severus's waiting palm.

Severus snaps his fingers around the parchment and swiftly pockets it. "Thank you," he says smoothly.

"Yeah," James says. He stares at the pocket the Map has disappeared into. "Yeah."

"Well, I'll let you get on your way." Sev says. He steps to the side and gestures. "Don't let me keep you."

"Thanks," I say. I tug on James's sleeve; I don't think he'll be able to leave the Map behind unless I drag him. "See you later, Sev."

His eyes slide to me for the first time since he'd asked James for the Map, and his expression flickers. But before I can read it, he nods once, curtly. "Bye, Lily."

And I lead James out into the corridors.

I wait until we're out of earshot before I turn to him.

"I can't believe you did that."

"Me either," he mumbles. He looks a little stunned. And uneasy.

"What if he shows the other Slytherins?" I ask. I don't like the idea of Rosier getting his hands on the Map.

"He won't be able to," James says. "Not with the Shrieking Shack tunnel on there. Snape sharing that information would violate the terms of our pact. And, in any case, we built a fail-safe into it. Anyone who's not supposed to have the Map will shut itself down and…uhh… be insulted by it."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Sirius's idea," he says quickly. "And Peter's."

"Right," I say. "I'm sure you were totally against that idea." I shake my head. "Sirius is going to kill you."

"I know," he says, grimacing.

"So why'd you do it?" I ask. He'd barely managed to lend it to me, and, well, maybe I flatter myself but I do feel James holds me in higher regard than he does Severus. "And, hang on a minute, how did Sev even know about the Map?"

"We were using it that full moon night in Hogsmeade, remember, when we couldn't find the Slytherins after we left the Shack. I was worried enough that I pulled it out to check and he asked what it was and I bloody told him about it because I was so worried and then you were in trouble and it was such a crazy night I haven't really given Snape knowing about the Map a second thought and now…" He looks at me, expression conflicted. "Did I do the right thing?"

"I don't know," I admit.

"That's not very reassuring, Lily," he moans.

"Sorry," I say. "But I do think it was a good thing."

"Thanks," he says. "I just… and don't get me wrong, Lily, I still think he's an odd slimy git who's far too obsessed with you…" I roll my eyes but he's not looking at me and keeps talking. "But…" He scrubs a hand through his hair, staring at the floor as we walk. "I guess we… I… was too hard on him in the past. With, you know… everything. And… I kind of feel like a right jerk about it all."

"It wasn't just you," I say. "Sirius and Peter… and Remus never stopped you all…"

"Oh, I know," he says. "But…"

But the rivalry has never really been about Sev and Sirius, or Sev and Peter. At the heart of everything was always Severus and James, and they had always fought the hardest, the dirtiest, the meanest.

"I know," I say. A pause. "You should tell him that."

"I should," he says. "Maybe I will."

I reach for his hand and we walk the rest of the way to Professor Dumbledore's like that, hand in hand in reflective silence. I don't know what he's pondering, but my mind spins round and round James's admission of guilt and the humility it had taken to hand over the Map, to hand Severus this huge chunk of trust. It's so different than how Severus has been this whole year about James, refusing to listen to me or give anything at all in changing his previous perceptions of James. And I know James was miserable to Sev the previous six years, but it's not like it had been one sided. Severus took every shot he could at James, stirred up just as much rivalry. The difference was James was apologizing for it, and I doubt Sev ever would.

"Ahh, Miss Evans. Mr. Potter," Professor Dumbledore says, cracking open his office door. "I was... well, not expecting you. But come in, come in." He steps back, pulling the door open wider, and, with a surprised look at each other, we step inside.

It does indeed look like Professor Dumbledore wasn't expecting company. Though his office is always full of interesting magical instruments and curious trinkets, it's always been tidy every other time I've been in here. Tonight, however, several of what I recognize as various Dark Detectors are out of place. One large piece that looks vaguely like an oversized trumpet sits right in the middle of the floor, and Dumbledore moves it carefully out of the way so that we can make our way to his desk, which is stacked with books and several letters. Fawkes's perch is empty.

"Is... now a bad time?" I ask, taking in the room. It's strange; either James or I, or the both of us together, drop in on Dumbledore towards the end of the month. We're a little early, yes, but it is the last Saturday of March. This should not be as unexpected a visit as it clearly is.

"No, it is fine," Dumbledore says, sweeping the parchment on his desk into a drawer. "Come, sit. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

I cautiously take one of the armchairs in front of the desk and James drops into the other, his eyes still roving over the different misplaced trinkets.

"It's the end of the month, sir," I say. "House reports?"

"Ahh, yes, of course," Dumbledore says. "My mistake. I'm sorry I quite forgot our regular meeting." He smooths his long silver beard and finally focuses fully on us for the first time. "And I must admit, I'm pleased you were able to remember and make it here today." He smiles slightly.

"Um, sir?" I say, my eyebrows pulling together. James, too, finally gives Professor Dumbledore his attention.

"I wasn't sure, given recent, ahh... developments you'd find the time," Professor Dumbledore says, and his eyes gleam behind his half-moon glasses.

Oh Merlin. I feel myself go red right to the roots of my hair. "No," I say hastily. "We, ah, still have time. Plenty of time. You need us, we'll be here."

James snorts a laugh. "For sure," he says. "We will be here." As if to prove it, he reaches out and takes my hand.

My face, if possible, gets even hotter.

"Anyways," I say to Professor Dumbledore, trying very hard to look like I don't even notice James at all. "We have the monthly reports for you here." I dig into my bag, grateful for the chance to drop James's hand and give the stack of parchment to Professor Dumbledore.

"Ahh, yes, thank you," he says. He shuffles the papers absent-mindedly, but sets them down without looking at them, his eyes already wandering around his office.

"Well, we should probably go," I say. It's abundantly clear that Professor Dumbledore isn't in the right mind for a proper end of month chat, with far greater things swirling about in his mind than House points and student detentions, but before I can tug James back towards the door, he speaks up.

"Is something wrong, sir?"

I pause.

Professor Dumbledore's gaze strays back to James, a crease between those clear blue eyes. "Yes," he says after a moment.

James's face alights with expectation, and I find myself leaning forward slightly with similar curiosity. "Will you tell us?" I ask in a hush.

Dumbledore regards us for a moment. "Yes," he says, his expression grave. "I think I will. I think you have more than earned the right to know."

To my left, James drums his hand against his leg in anxious excitement, and I quell the urge to take it again.

"As you know," Dumbledore says, "I have been working with the Order on protective measures for Muggle communities as well as responding to the attacks. Last night, a small team was supposed to go and scout a Muggle town not far from here. We have a few spies, of course, and we feel fairly sure this area would be the Death Eaters' next target. However, one of our members never showed and I feared he was abducted en route. Our inside sources confirm this."

I put a hand to my mouth. Taken captive by Death Eaters? I shudder at the condition the missing Order member must be in.

Dumbledore continues. "We think we've been able to discover his location; however, we have no way to approach. See, Voldemort has been quite clever and set up a base of sorts right in the middle of a Muggle city, making it extremely risky for us to try and attack. Even if we had the group force to do so, the result would be more Muggle casualties."

"I don't understand," I say. "How could they possibly hide in the middle of a Muggle city?"

"They've used magic to disguise their base, much as Hogwarts is disguised to Muggle eyes. In this case, the base appears to be a Muggle construction site on a university campus."

"Oh," I say. "Hmm." I hate to admit it, but it actually is quite clever. Even if discovered, like Professor Dumbledore said, the Order would be wary about attacking with so many Muggles in the vicinity. And, if the Ministry wanted to get involved (unlikely), they might be put off by the amount of cover-up and memory modification a physical intervention would result in. "And all of you would look very out of place trying to approach at all," I say aloud, still thinking it through.

"Precisely," Dumbledore says.

"Why?" James asks. "What's so special about this Muggle... university?" He trips slightly over the word, and I realize he's got no idea what we're talking about. Huh. How odd. I guess universities are a Muggle idea. In the Wizarding World, everything operates under on-the-job training and apprenticeships.

"A university is where Muggles go after school to study for a career," I explain. "Most of the Order members would look out of place since students at university are still usually pretty young, right around our age."

James stares at me. "Muggles leave school to... go to more school?"

I stifle a laugh. "Yeah, I guess they do."

"Mad," he says, shaking his head. Then he looks at Dumbledore. "Okay, so if the problem with sneaking in is not fitting in, why not use Polyjuice Potion?" I nod along, thinking of the Slytherins and how much of their sleuthing this year has hinged on such disguises, but Dumbledore sighs.

"Unfortunately, the fence around the construction site is enchanted to remove any forms of magical deceit upon entry. If we used Polyjuice, or any other means of magical concealment for that matter, we would not get very far before we were discovered."

I slump back, thinking. The Order can't get in magically concealed, and they can't get in with magic, either. If only they knew one of the students at the university so they could slip in undetected or send them to spy... and I arrive at the answer in my head just as James speaks it aloud.

"Wait, around our age, you said? So you need a student," he says, echoing my thoughts. He's practically sparking with excitement as he continues. "You need someone like me."

Professor Dumbledore regards James, and I think he might reject his suggestion, but then, frowning, Dumbledore says, "That's not a bad idea."

"Yes," James says. An expression I know well spreads across his face: keen excitement that always precedes something reckless.

"Now wait just a moment," I say. My stomach tickles with – what? Fear? Worry? Anticipation? "You really think we could help?"

"I do," Dumbledore says. He's still frowning, but it's more in thought than displeasure. "Everything I have seen from you this year leaves me confident you can do this." He ticks the points off on his long fingers. "All your work investigating the Slytherins, the way you handled yourselves at the wedding, and then again at the last full moon. Not to mention training your fellow students in combative magic..." He pauses. "In fact, I daresay both of you would be valuable additions to the Order. Truthfully, I was on my way to better scope out the situation when you knocked."

"Brilliant," James says, his eyes shining. "I'm in. Do we leave now?"

Dumbledore focuses his gaze on James, and I know he sees what I see. "I'll only agree to this," he says gravely, "if someone goes with you." He fixes James with his impossibly intense gaze. "It's far too dangerous for you to go alone."

"I'll go." The words leave my mouth before I even realize I've formed the thought. Immediately James looks at me, the overconfidence giving way to alarm.

"No, you don't have to come, Lily," he says anxiously.

"What's the matter?" I demand. My heart beats in my throat. I can't believe I've offered to go. Moreover, I can't believe how bad I realize I actually do want to go. "Do you think I'm not up for it?"

James looks thoroughly taken aback by this suggestion. "Of course not," he says. "You're the most talented witch or wizard I know." He sounds almost offended. "I just... I thought I'd take Sirius. He'd love to go."

"Actually," Dumbledore cuts in quietly, "Miss Evans would be much preferable. As talented as Sirius is, I fear he is far too impulsive for the stealth this will require. Not to mention–" he says, speaking over the beginnings of more protesting from James, "far too recognizable. With Regulus mixed up with the Death Eaters, he'll be identified right away."

James deflates. Professor Dumbledore is right; with their matching dark hair, sharp dark eyes, and casually elegant stances, Sirius and Regulus could not be more obviously related. "But–" he starts, with another anxious look in my direction, and I finally realize what's going on. I huff out a surprised laugh.

"Merlin, James, don't you dare go all protective on me," I say. "I'm perfectly capable."

"I know that, but–"

"And you need me." I grin at him. Really, it'd almost be sweet. If he weren't trying to keep me out of a mission. "We're going into the Muggle world. It'd definitely be helpful to have me, the muggle-born, along. Besides, Sirius isn't the only reckless one. I'd hardly call you the most level-headed either." James frowns but doesn't argue. "And," I finish, "in any case, we've already been in battle together this year, so we already know we work well together."

"If all goes as it's supposed to," Professor Dumbledore says, "neither of you will have to duel. But yes. All excellent points, Miss Evans."

James looks conflicted. I can tell how badly he wants to go, and how reluctant he is to take me along. I nudge his shoulder.

"Either we both go, or neither of us does," I say. I take his hand and squeeze it. "We've got this." And I may not be as reckless or action-hungry as James, but I'm excited to do something. Stand up to Voldemort and his followers. This has, after all, always been my goal.

He meets my eyes, and something shifts. His grip tightens, and he nods. "Okay," he says, making a face, part rueful, part reluctantly amused. "You're right – I do need you. Of course you're coming."