Chapter 24: Stay

An enchanting heat coursed through her as the shadows of insecurity and confusion were finally dispelled from her heart. At that moment, she felt treasured and undeniably alive. Every doubt or question she'd ever presented herself with melted away as Lucius' words swirled and danced around her head, making her feel dizzy but energized. The mystery of Lucius' feelings was finally solved, revealing something much greater.

Could this be too good to be true? Could she have misheard Lucius?

"You love me?" She choked out while her face burned a fiery red.

Lucius nodded as his lips contorted into a dashing, charming smile that made Hermione feel like she could faint.

'So this was the reason,' she thought to herself. For the first time in months, things finally made sense to her. The world wasn't crumbling beneath her feet anymore, and the stars felt like they were aligning the way they were supposed to, and she did not doubt in her mind about how she felt.

She loved him. She knew she loved him the night she came here after that horrible night with Ron at the Witching Hour. The way he cared for her wounds, his gentle touch as he used muggle methods of first-aid, how he confided in her about his mother—all of it she loved. She remembered the way he held her as they danced in front of the fireplace, how his hands felt on her waist and the reflection of herself in his beautiful cloudy-grey eyes. And the sweet words he told her as their shadows danced across his living room walls.

Lucius reached for her cheek, intertwining his fingers through the waves that fell over her ear. Now he was closer, so close she could smell his delicious scent of lilac and pine—the aroma she never knew she could love so deeply. At that moment, she wished they could make a candle or an incense stick that could replicate that smell whenever they weren't together.

'Nah,' she thought as Lucius slowly closed the space between them. 'I'd rather have the real thing.'

Their kiss was different this time. This time, she wasn't unsure about how Lucius felt about her. As their lips moved in perfect cadence, she admitted to herself that she was his. She never felt the need to belong to anything or anyone. Ever since she could remember, she depended on her wits, brains, and strength. She didn't need Lucius. She wanted him more than anything she'd ever wanted before. At this moment, nothing mattered to her. Not the Death Eaters, not her relationships back at Hogwarts, not even her duty to be back at Maggie's Tailoring in the morning. Now, Lucius held onto her heart, her soul, and her mind. And she wanted none of it back.

She was losing her breath as Lucius reached further, his hand taking a fist full of the hair behind her head, pulling her closer to him. She gripped the muscles in his back and shoulders with her fingertips, wishing there was a way to get closer. Lucius' other hand reached for her waist, gripping her side as he pulled her deeper into their kiss. Now there was nothing between them but their clothes.

Hermione's mind was muddled as she swiftly pulled herself onto his lap and began straddling his thighs, willing to lose herself in his embrace. His hand moved and gripped the top of her thigh while the other caressed the nape of her neck. The heat from his skin made it impossible for her to concentrate on anything but his existence and hers. She melted against him, her chest against his as his lips commanded her surrender. Suddenly, Lucius' hands were gripping the backs of her thighs as he stood with ease onto his feet. Hermione let out a small squeal as she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, even though his hands could easily keep her suspended.

"Please take me upstairs." She managed to say between breaths.

Lucius paused and craned his neck, pulling their lips apart. "Hermione," he started, his expression suddenly somber. "I don't want you to feel any pressure from me."

She searched his expression for an answer, confused how Lucius could change his demeanor so quickly. "Lucius, what's wrong?"

Lucius slowly lowered Hermione to her feet as she unwrapped her legs from around his waist. She watched as he lowered his head, his eyes falling on the tips of their shoes.

"I don't want to influence your feelings with mine." He met her gaze and held the top of one of her hands as he slid it off his shoulder and held it to his chest.

"You're not," she told him. "This is what I want."

"I have to keep you safe, Hermione. Even from me."

She shook her head, frustrated and confused with Lucius' riddle. "What do you mean?"

"I'm terrified, Hermione," he told her as his eyes became irritated and red. "I'm scared that my feelings for you will put you in more danger."

Her heart was aching beneath her skin, still pounding from the feeling of him beneath her and between her legs. The inside of her thighs were burning as she wrapped her arms around him, putting her head against his chest. Lucius returned her embrace as he rested his chin on the top of her head and sighed.

As she listened closely to his breathing, searching for his heartbeat, her eyes widened as she finally understood why Lucius was so careful with her all this time. The closer they became, the more danger she'd face from the Death Eaters. There was risk behind every kiss, every touch the two of them ever shared, and Lucius knew that. Hermione suddenly felt foolish, kicking herself for not seeing it sooner. Lucius kept himself from her to protect her. From the beginning of their strange relationship, he was keeping her safe from a cruel reality where the two of them could never be together without risking her life. He had hidden that truth from her all this time, shielding her from a frightening truth: if they weren't careful, Lucius could lose her forever.

"I understand." She finally told him.

"I'm sorry."

She could feel his embrace become tighter as she reminisced on the moments before when there was nothing but passion between them, but Lucius wasn't selfish. He wouldn't risk putting her in harm's way for his selfish purposes, even though it was Hermione who made it known she wanted to be tucked away in his bedroom.

Something erupted from within her and echoed throughout the room.

Lucius tilted his head back and laughed. "Are you hungry?"

Hermione's face burned bright red as she grabbed the front of her stomach. "It seems that I am. Maggie made me dinner, but we ended up talking and completely blowing dinner off."

Lucius grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her behind him up the small staircase and into the dining room. He sat her down at the dining room table and marched into the kitchen, grabbing a small silver whistle from the cabinet above the stove.

"What is that?" She asked him as she watched him approach a window off of the dining room. He pushed the window open and leaned out into the night air. Hermione could feel a light draft brush past her cheeks as Lucius put the whistle to his lips and blew, creating a tiny, high-pitched sound that carried for a few seconds.

Hermione could hear the faint sound of flapping wings when suddenly, a bird with dark blue feathers that sparkled beneath the dining room lights landed in the frame of the window. Its eyes were twin circles of fiery swirls that danced in glowing orange orbs, and its silver beak was petite and pointy. Behind its neck were dozens of feathers that stuck up from the rest of the bird that ranged in different lengths and widths.

Hermione stood up from the dining room chair and approached the window as Lucius handed the bird a small sticky note. "What is that?" She asked him.

"Do you like Japanese cuisine?" Lucius turned to Hermione and smiled as the cerulean blue bird flew from the window seat. Its wings flapped fervently into the night and radiated an energy she could suddenly feel in her limbs. Hermione smiled and nodded.

Suddenly, the bird returned with a large plastic bag in its beak, filled with different-sized take-out containers.

Hermione's mouth dropped open in awe, never having seen a bird of this kind. "How did you do that?"

Lucius took the bag from the bird's beak and patted its head. "This is a Livraison bird. That's French for "delivery." The whistle calls the bird from different spots around the world. You give them a destination request, and they retrieve different types of foods, depending on where you order from." He brought the bag to the dining room table and began to take out its contents. One styrofoam container after another, he arranged the foods across the space between them and handed Hermione a plate and fork.

The food was immaculate for having been to Japan and back in a matter of seconds. The first container had two different types of tonkatsu and two balls of steamed white rice inside. The next had four different sushi rolls and two sets of chopsticks. In the last large container was a mound of yakisoba spilling out of the sides. In two smaller containers were 6 skewers of yakitori, a barbecue chicken dish.

"Wow, this is amazing." She smiled and scooted her chair under the table, grabbing a plate and filling it with her favorites. "How did the bird get back so fast?"

Lucius grabbed a set of chopsticks and broke them in half. "Magic, of course." He laughed as he picked up two pieces of sushi with his chopsticks and put them on his plate.

Hermione scooped a fork full of yakisoba into her mouth, then grabbed a skewer of the yakitori. "How have I never heard a Livraison bird?"

Lucius shook his head as he chewed on his skewer. "Not a lot of people know about them."

Lucius avoided her eyes as she waited for something more, but it never came.

"You mean only rich people know about them?" She chuckled, figuring she hit the nail on the head the way Lucius put his head in his hands and shook his head.

"I didn't want to say that." He told her as he grabbed two more sushi pieces with his chopsticks.

"Why?"

"Because that's not who I am anymore. I'm not interested in boasting about my lifestyle in that way."

Hermione smiled as she finished her plate. Lucius was different. He wasn't the same high-ranking wizard everyone described him as. He was a humble being inside a beautiful house, with a reputation as one of the most prestigious wizards in the wizarding world. She imagined the Lucius she used to run into as a student. The way he turned his nose up at her, how he walked with his shoulders back and his head held higher than everyone else, he was different now. And she loved him.

"It's getting late." He told her as he stood up from the table, grabbed her plate, and stacked it on his. "I saw you packed a bag."

She stood up from her spot at the table. "I did. Maggie helped me pack it."

Lucius turned toward Hermione and raised his eyebrows. "And? Did you tell her everything?"

Hermione nodded, stretching her arms above her head and rubbing her palms on her hands. Her stomach roared with butterflies as she followed Lucius into the living room. Lucius reached for her duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder. He reached for Hermione's hand and pulled her behind him, leading her upstairs and stopping at the guestroom. Lucius entered with Hermione behind him. He set the duffel bag on the edge of the bed and turned to face her.

"Come here." He said as he sat down at the end of the bed. Hermione did as he requested and sat beside him, her hands and fingers tingling with excitement as she waited for Lucius to tell her what was next. "Wait here."

Hermione watched him leave the room and reenter, holding a familiar wooden box. Her eyes widened as she took a sudden breath. Lucius sat beside her and opened the small music box, letting the beautiful symphony escape its cage.

"This was my mother's." He told her. "I thought you should know since you found it here last night. I accidentally left it out the last time I came to listen to it."

Hermione's vision was right—she had pictured a sad or hopeful Lucius at the edge of the bed holding the small music box in his lap the night she discovered the box in her room. The two of them sat beside each other as Lucius held the box in his hands and closed his eyes. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder until the song came to an end.

"I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark. In my head, that was the only way to keep you safe." He looked down at her and smiled. "But I know you can take care of yourself."

Hermione laughed and reached for the ends of his hair, rubbing the soft strands between her fingers. "Thank you."

Once again, silence filled the space between them, sending Hermione's heart into a thunderstorm. She wondered if this was the moment Lucius would leave her here in this guest bedroom alone again. Even after he confessed his feelings for her, was she still expected to sleep in a separate bedroom?

"Lucius?" She finally asked.

"Yes?" His voice was a deep whisper, her body tingling as she felt his breath on her cheek. Her mind was going blank when she observed Lucius' handsome features: his chiseled jawline, his high cheekbones, his gorgeous pink lips, and the muscles that moved in his neck and shoulders when he moved to see her more clearly. Her lips parted as she thought of admiring every inch of him.

Lucius was now only inches above her as she looked deeply into his eyes with the music box still open in his hands. As the song continued to loop, she reached for the nape of his neck, suddenly curious about how the stubble along his jaw might feel. As she rested her hand against him, he took a single curl and ran it down through his fingers, feeling the silky texture of her strands.

She closed her eyes as she pulled herself up to him, and Lucius did the same as he leaned into her, their gentle kiss lighting a bright burning fire between them. For a moment, she focused on the feeling of the tiny hairs on his neck and jaw, relieved to know what they felt like. She tilted her head, inviting him closer as their breaths intertwined in a delicate dance. Their movements were deliberate, and not a moment was wasted as they became lost in one another.

Hermione was feeling dizzy as he leaned closer, deepening their kiss. As he brushed the bottom of her lip with his tongue, she gladly accepted his invitation as his fingers crawled up her back and became tangled in her hair. He pulled her tighter to him as if unable to get close enough.

The two of them shared sharp intakes of air when they finally separated.

"If you won't let me stay with you, would you at least stay with me?" She asked him, finally remembering what it was she wanted to ask. Her eyes were glued to his lips and their soft and supple appearance. Her heart leaped as she watched them twitch into a thin smile.

"Hermione—

She reached for his cheek and met his gaze. "I don't mean anything…you know. Just sleep next to me tonight."

Lucius looked away and around the room, as he chuckled at her request. He shook his head, but his smile told her something different. "Wait here, one last time." He brought her forehead to his lips and stood up. He left the room, and Hermione listened for his steps as he made his way to his bedroom. She heard his door shut behind him, and her heart sank to the souls of her feet.

She grabbed her duffel bag and unzipped the top. She pulled out a black tank top and pink pajama shorts. She walked across the hall and into the guest bathroom to change. She pulled the shorts up over her waist and looked in the mirror. Her brown waves were frizzy across the top of her head and tangled up in a knot in the back. She pulled her fingers through the knots in the back, pulling out at least a dozen hairs that she tossed into the trash by the counter. She brushed through the rest of her hair with her fingers, making sure each wave and curl was neatly in place before heading back to the guest room.

She stopped shy of the door and held her breath. Lucius stood facing the bed in black satin pajama bottoms and nothing else. She held herself still to memorize the view of his back before he could turn around and see her. Her mouth watered at the sight of his shoulder blades that curved into the top of his back, and the way his back narrowed in the center and down to his lower waist. She remembered what she saw in his bathroom, and even though it was by mistake, she felt like she had gazed upon an angel.

She stepped into the room, and the floorboards creaked beneath her, giving her away. "Hi," she said as she stepped closer, looking up into his eyes. "You're here."

His face lit up with a smile while his eyes scanned her body. As they traced her, she could feel the goosebumps rise across every part his eyes doted on. They stopped at her knees, no doubt observing the old scars from that night with Ron, and his smile weakened.

She moved around the bed, unwilling to let his eyes linger any longer on those spots. She didn't want their first night together tainted by an awful memory. She believed if it weren't for that encounter with Ron, she never would have thought to come to Lucius.

He turned around and faced the bed again, sighing as he put his hands in his pockets.

She moved to him, taking his biceps into her hands and putting her cheek against them. "Lucius?"

"I'm alright," he told her, but his tone was sullen. "I'm glad your knees are healing well."

"Lucius, I promise my knees have felt fine."

He turned to her and grabbed her wrists. He wrapped them around his waist and put his hands across her back, only wanting to feel her chest against his. She rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes. This was the closest she'd ever been to Lucius. Her skin was finally against his.

He kissed the top of her head and reached for her chin, tilting her face up. He pressed his lips tenderly to hers, creating a moment suspended in time. Her arms melted to him, unwilling to be separated. He pulled away, gazed into her eyes, and cupped one side of her face. "Ready?"

Her heart jumped into her throat as she nodded. She turned and walked around to the opposite side of the bed, letting Lucius climb in first. She pulled the sheets away from the bed and dipped herself in after him. Lucius rolled onto his side.

His lips curved into a smile. "You're so beautiful." He told her.

She smiled, her entire body craving to be closer. "So are you." She told him. Without waiting another second, she pushed herself across the bed into his arms. The warmth that radiated from him made her feel euphoric. She was finally close again, and she couldn't help but feel in awe that they were finally as close as they could be to each other. She thought about every inch of him against her, how every cell in his skin was finally accessible.

Lucius wrapped his arm beneath her and caressed her cheek with the other. He watched her for a moment as she snuggled closer to him. He stared at her sides, watching them rise and fall to the rhythm of her breaths. He rested his cheek against the top of her head and closed his eyes. He breathed in her sweet vanilla-scented shampoo and listened to her breathing. Hermione slept against his chest while Lucius fell asleep with her in his arms. Hermione silently begged the night to go slower, just for one night.