Author's Note: Apologies for the long wait for this chapter but RL got in the way.
The Best-Laid Plans
Chapter 32
Kate firmly kept her gaze focused on her computer as she finished writing up the warrant requests for their latest victim's phone and financial records, not allowing her eyes to stray to Castle's empty chair beside her desk even after she emailed the warrant requests to a judge to sign off on.
After that, she went to work on the murder board putting up what limited information they had so far, considering Lanie had yet to get back to them with her final report, aware that it took more effort than usual to focus considering how tired she was. She inwardly grimaced. She was not exactly happy to admit it but she hadn't slept well for the last week. Not since Castle had left on his book tour.
They had only had two nights back in the loft after their holiday weekend in the Hamptons before Castle had left on his tour a week ago. She had dutifully forced herself to return to her own apartment since he'd left but found that staying in her own apartment no longer felt very comfortable and her own bed, which she'd never had a problem with before, seemed to have become equally uncomfortable, too big and cold and empty. Finally, after mentally arguing with herself, she had returned to the loft to spend the night a couple nights ago over the weekend, telling herself it was a stupid thing to do (and one she would probably never admit to Castle or anyone else) but she had and found that in the loft, in Castle's bed, she was at least better able to sleep, even without Castle's presence. Because his side of the bed still retained a little of his scent and it helped her to sleep, somehow. But even so, she had again gone back to her apartment because her conscience or something couldn't quite feel at ease with just making herself at home in the loft when none of the family members were around. Not that she imagined Castle or anyone else would mind but still, she just felt weird about it. So there it was.
She didn't know how or when she had become so dependent on Castle for something as simple as sleeping and wasn't entirely happy at the knowledge that she had but she could hardly deny it. Really, it was absurd! It was one thing to miss him during the day, which she did, missing his presence beside her at work and after that. Missing sharing meals with him and bantering with him, missing his smiles and his laugh and his touch and his kiss. But to miss him even in sleep seemed like too much. And yet, there she was.
Worse, Castle's book tour was supposed to last for another week and half so there wasn't even any hope of immediate relief.
And after so many nights of only restless sleep, she was tired, subsisting on even more coffee than usual, and her mood had not been at its best so even the boys had taken to regarding her rather warily. At this rate, the boys were likely to fall on Castle when he returned and beg him never to leave, if only to spare them from her ill temper during his absence. The mental thought of that provoked a brief glimmer of amusement, momentarily lightening her mood.
Her mood was lightened yet more–and then was immediately doused with a surge of concern–as her phone rang and she saw that it was Castle. But why was he calling now, in the middle of the day when he knew she would be at work? They might talk every day but only in the evenings after they were done with their respective obligations for the day. He shouldn't–wouldn't–be calling at this hour unless something was wrong.
She tried to tell herself she was leaping to conclusions. "Hey, Castle, what's up?"
Only for her concern to ratchet up again as he didn't even bother with a greeting and his tone… "Beckett, are you in the middle of a case right now?"
"Yes, but what's the matter? Is everything okay?"
He didn't sound hurt or injured, just worried. "Damn!" She blinked. "I just got a call from Princeton. Alexis threw up during class. They say there's a stomach bug going around and they're calling the parents who are local to see if they want to go pick up their kids for the next few days to help try to contain the bug and give them fewer sick kids to worry about. And of course I'm stuck out here in Denver and there's no way I can get out there before tomorrow but Alexis is sick and–"
"I can go get Alexis," she interrupted him, cutting off his rush of words. "Can you cancel the rest of your tour?"
"Oh, can you? Are you sure? I admit I was hoping you'd say that but I didn't want to assume…"
"It's not a problem," she assured him rather recklessly, since she was in the middle of a new case, but she didn't hesitate. Later, it occurred to her to realize that this was the first time her job had really conflicted with something Castle wanted or needed and, well, her answer had been immediate and obvious and one she didn't doubt for so much as an instant. Of course she would go get Alexis. From the sound of it, Castle was just one step removed from frantic and she responded to the worry in his voice without thinking. "I'll leave as soon as I can and bring Alexis back to the loft and look after her until you get back."
"Thank you," he told her, as fervently as if she'd just single-handedly slain a dragon. "I'll call Princeton to give them permission for you to pick Alexis up since I'm not sure they'll allow it otherwise. I haven't even called Paula yet–you're my first phone call–but yes, I'll insist she cancel the rest of the tour. I have a signing that's supposed to start in about two hours and I don't think she'll be able to cancel that on such short notice but I'll have to see and then tell her to get me back to the City on the next flight. I'll let you know about my travel plans."
"Okay, thanks. I'll keep you posted too. And Castle, try not to worry, okay? I'm sure Alexis will be fine. She's young and healthy and we've all been through stomach bugs before." She tried to tamp down on her own renegade flare of joy. She was sorry Alexis wasn't feeling well, of course, but Castle was coming home. It was hard to feel very down with that thought hanging in her mind.
"They only said they think it's a stomach bug but how do they know and I just hate that I'm on the other side of the damn country right now!"
"It'll be fine, Castle," she promised again. "I'll leave right now to get Alexis and take care of her, okay? You just focus on getting back home in one piece."
"Yeah, thanks, Beckett."
"No thanks necessary. I liked Alexis from the first, back when I thought you were just annoying, remember?" she teased.
He gave a soft huff of something like amusement although it wasn't a laugh. "Okay, then."
Once the call with Castle ended, she headed straight into Montgomery's office, not even pausing after a perfunctory knock on his door. "Sir?"
He was, thankfully, not on the phone and only looked up. "What is it, Beckett?"
She reminded herself that Montgomery was a dad so he of all people would understand. "I need to take the rest of today and tomorrow off, sir. Castle just called to say that Alexis is sick and the school is asking for him to go pick her up but Castle is away on his tour and can't get back until probably tomorrow at the earliest."
Montgomery's gaze had sharpened but all he did was nod. "That's fine, Beckett. Tell the boys they're on point for the Wyatt case now and can pull in Karpowski for backup. You take however much time you need." His voice and expression softened. "I hope Alexis is okay."
"Thank you, sir." She didn't linger in his office and headed straight back to her desk to turn off her computer and gather up her things before heading to the boys' desks where they looked up, surprise on their faces that turned into understanding as she rapidly told them about Alexis.
She didn't even need to finish the explanation before Espo was gesturing. "Get outta here, Beckett. We've got this."
"Yeah, go, Beckett, we can handle the rest of the case without you," Ryan chimed in. "Take care of little Castle."
This moniker for Alexis had her lips fleetingly curving and then she was hurrying out of the precinct. She paused once in her car only to text Castle that she was leaving for Princeton at that moment and would keep him posted and then got on her way.
She considered the time, the start of rush hour, and was, for the first time in her career, rather tempted to use the gumball for personal purposes but sternly shoved aside the thought. She couldn't and anyway, she told herself firmly, this wasn't an emergency.
There was some traffic but fortunately not that much and she was able to arrive in Princeton in about an hour and half. On arriving at the parking lot closest to Alexis's dorm, she checked her phone to find a small slew of text messages from Castle letting her know that he'd contacted Princeton so she would be able to get Alexis, that as he'd expected, he would still need to go through his book signing that day but that Paula had canceled the rest of the tour and booked him on a red-eye flight back to New York which would be landing around 5 a.m. the next day. Judging from the time, Kate guessed that he should have already arrived at the bookstore for his book signing so he wouldn't be able to check his phone for at least the next couple hours so there was no immediate point in texting him so she simply headed straight for Alexis's dorm.
How lucky that she had accompanied Castle to drop Alexis off because it meant she already knew not only which dorm Alexis was in but also where her room was. She paused only long enough to talk to the RA of the dorm who confirmed that Kate could take Alexis while Kate told the RA that she would indeed be taking Alexis home for at least a couple days.
Kate knocked quickly on Alexis's door. "Alexis? It's Kate."
After a few moments, the door opened to reveal Alexis and Kate, for almost the first time since Castle had called, felt a genuine flare of worry for the girl because she really did look terrible, was paler than Kate had ever seen her, her hair and eyebrows standing out in shocking contrast to her pallor, and the girl's expression was miserable.
"Oh," she almost moaned. "Dad shouldn't have bothered you about this."
"Of course he should have," Kate contradicted gently, running a light hand down Alexis's hair. "How are you feeling? Any better?"
Alexis made a small face as she turned and sank onto her bed while Kate ventured into the room, noting that Alexis's roommate wasn't in. "I had to throw up again a little while ago but I don't think there's anything left now and my head hurts but I've taken medicine." Her voice sounded listless.
"Okay, do you think you'll be okay for the drive to the city? Your dad's on his way home and will be back first thing tomorrow morning and I can look after you until then."
Alexis blinked, looking briefly confused. "But don't you have work?"
"I took some time off," Kate answered as easily as if this had been scheduled. "You'll sleep better at home in your own bed, don't you think?"
"I guess but oh, I don't want to miss classes."
"You can't go to class when you're sick anyway and you have friends who can give their notes to you for a few days, right? Once you're feeling better, your dad will bring you back."
Alexis hesitated but then nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay."
But after that agreement, the girl only blinked, apparently too ill to be thinking very clearly (she really had to be feeling badly, Kate could tell just from this evidence of Alexis not being at all her usual self) and Kate hurriedly stepped up. "Why don't you leave a note for Heather," she instructed, referring to Alexis's roommate and keeping her voice gentle but firm. "Do you have anything you want to bring home with you? Let me know and I can take care of it."
Alexis wrote a quick note and then managed, "My laptop and my Trig workbook, I think, and my phone but that's it."
Kate duly gathered up all those things, helpfully on Alexis's desk, and packed them in Alexis's backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. "You'd better put on a jacket, just in case," she suggested.
Alexis did so and then, they were leaving the room, Alexis listlessly locking the door again behind them.
Kate kept a careful eye on Alexis as they made their way down the stairs and out to her car but although Alexis moved tiredly, she did not, at least, appear to be dizzy or anything like that. Once back at her car, Kate thought and then set the front seat to recline as far back as possible before letting Alexis get in. She deposited Alexis's backpack in the back seat.
She paused only to send a quick text to Castle to let him know that she had just picked Alexis up and would be heading to the loft and then, after another glance over at Alexis, started the car.
The drive back to the city was made at a much slower pace and was positively nerve-racking to Kate because now, she was worried over Alexis with every movement of the car. She hadn't been that exercised while driving out but it was a very different thing when faced with the sight of the girl looking so ill.
She abruptly felt very… alone. The realization that she was standing in loco parentis to Alexis, that right now she was solely responsible for Alexis's well-being while Alexis's only responsible parent was thousands of miles away, weighed on her.
It was a terrifying thought. Castle's near-frantic worry appeared to have transferred itself to her as her mind raced, her chest feeling tight with anxiety. Yes, Princeton thought it was a stomach bug and Alexis had only mentioned throwing up and a headache but what if Alexis were downplaying it? She guessed that Alexis was mortified to be seen by Kate in such a state but was too tired to argue about it and knowing it would be futile anyway. And what if the school was wrong? They were only guessing after all and had every incentive to make it sound like no big deal. And Kate herself was no doctor and knew little to nothing about kids or medicine. She'd never felt Castle's trust in her as such a weight of responsibility before but then again, his trust in her where Alexis was concerned had never been manifested quite so obviously before either and Alexis was very obviously the single most important person in Castle's life, was what was most precious to him.
And–it was a little strange to realize–she simply was not used to being responsible for the welfare of another person like this. She was a cop but a cop's duty to serve and protect was a diffuse one. And while it was true that she and the boys along with all other cops each relied on each other to have their backs, she knew the other cops were trained and they were, of course, adults. This was very different because Alexis was, in spite of her maturity, for all intents and purposes, a child. A sick child right now. A sick child for whom she was solely responsible.
Castle was still at least 12 hours travel time away. And Martha was, if she remembered correctly, on tour in South Carolina, which was somewhat closer distance-wise, but just as unavailable in reality.
Okay–she tried to think. Alexis might be sick but Kate really had no reason to believe it was serious and–even better–she had a doctor on call in Lanie. There was that, at least.
Kate focused on that and tried to calm herself, glancing again at Alexis and noting that the girl appeared to have dozed off, which was probably lucky. And as she herself had told Castle, Alexis was young and healthy so there was no reason to believe this was anything other than a passing stomach bug.
God, if this brief experience was anything like what Castle had gone through for most of Alexis's life, she didn't know how he'd survived being a single parent. She felt a sudden surge of empathy for how quick Castle was to worry over Alexis. His over-protective tendencies aside, she wondered what it had been like for him, knowing that he was Alexis's only responsible parent, that Alexis's health and safety, to say nothing of her character, were his sole responsibility. She abruptly remembered the way he had asked her if she would look after Alexis if anything happened to him when he'd been allegedly cursed by that mummy a couple months ago. She had agreed so blithely, been amused at how freaked Castle was over the curse at the time, but it didn't strike her as funny anymore. Not the mummy curse part but the very real worry Castle must feel at all times, really, when thinking about what would happen to Alexis if anything ever happened to him.
For that matter, she rather thought she needed to call her dad and thank him and buy him an extra present or something.
It occurred to her too to wonder if she should think about contacting Meredith. Meredith was in California, at least as far as Kate knew, and therefore even further away than Castle was at the moment so it wasn't an immediate concern but she did wonder. She knew that whenever she herself had been sick, the first person she'd wanted was her mother. She didn't know if Alexis would feel that way and wasn't sure how to ask the girl either, didn't want to bring up a possibly sensitive subject, but made a mental note to ask Castle first thing.
Fortunately for her, they were near enough to the city that traffic had increased to the point that she needed to focus most of her attention on driving as she navigated the now-busier streets back into Manhattan and to the loft.
Back at the loft, she gently touched Alexis on the shoulder. "Alexis, we're home."
The girl blinked her eyes open. "Home," she mumbled. "Good." She managed a wan, little smile. "Thanks, Kate."
"It's no trouble. Come on, let's get you inside."
She retrieved Alexis's backpack and then accompanied her inside, noting that even in her current state, the girl managed a small smile and wave of greeting for Eduardo, the doorman. Good girl, she thought approvingly. Castle really had done well with her.
Once inside, Kate urged Alexis to drink some water and then head straight to her room and to bed, instructions with which Alexis complied without complaint. She saw the girl safely into her bed and then sent another text message to Castle, who judging from his lack of response to her earlier texts, was still in the middle of his book signing, to let him know that she and Alexis were now back at the loft and Alexis was in bed.
Once that was taken care of, she called Lanie who answered immediately. "Beckett, I just sent in my final report. What else do you need to know?"
"It's not about that," she hurriedly cut in. "I need to talk to a doctor."
Lanie's tone sharpened. "What? What happened? Are you okay?"
"Not for me. It's Alexis." She gave Lanie a quick rundown of the situation and then finished, "So I just wanted to talk to you to ask if there's anything I should be doing to take care of her, anything I need to watch out for to make sure she isn't getting worse, that sort of thing."
"Oh, okay," Lanie's tone had relaxed and Kate found her own tension easing too as clearly, Lanie saw no reason for concern. "Well, from what you said, it does sound like just a stomach bug. If anything changes, if she keeps throwing up through tomorrow, or if she develops a high fever, or something like that, call me and we can deal with that but for now, having her rest and drink plenty of fluids is the best and only real thing to do. Have her drink water or tea, some Gatorade if you have it, and maybe she can try some light broth for dinner tonight. No solid food for a while."
That sounded simple enough. "Okay, thanks, Lanie."
"And when this is all over and Alexis is back at Princeton, you and I need to have a talk, Kate Beckett. First you go away on vacation with him and now you're stepping in to parent Castle's kid–I need details, girl."
Kate grimaced but should have expected that Lanie would want to interrogate her about the way her relationship with Castle was progressing. "Fine," she agreed. "Once Alexis is better."
She made a face at her phone after she ended the call with Lanie. She might accept the necessity of running the gauntlet of Lanie's curiosity, not to say, nosiness, but she didn't have to like it.
She moved into the kitchen to see what Castle had available as far as broth and other liquid-foods for Alexis so she could decide if she needed to go shopping. The supply of nonperishable items was plentiful but the refrigerator was, unsurprisingly, almost bare considering none of the occupants of the household had been home in the last week so she probably would need to go out quickly to pick up some things. But before she had done more than reach that decision, her phone rang and she saw that it was, finally, Castle.
"Hey, Castle," she greeted. "Alexis is resting," she told him before he could even ask.
"Is she doing any better?" At least, he no longer sounded as close to frantic as he had been earlier.
"Do you want to talk to her?"
"Is she awake?"
"Let me check." She hurried up the stairs and peeked into Alexis's room before retreating, keeping her voice low as she told him, "She's sleeping now."
"Okay, then don't wake her up. How does she look?"
She regained the first floor and sat on the couch. "She's pale and looks tired but not too bad," she answered, trying to sound as reassuring as she could. "She said she threw up again shortly before I picked her up but she didn't think there was anything left in her system and she hasn't been sick since. She dozed most of the drive in. Oh, and I checked with Lanie just to be sure and Lanie says so far, there's no cause for concern."
"Thanks, Beckett."
They were sounding so… like parents, she thought, and felt a little flare of something at the thought. "It's fine," she hurriedly brushed aside his fervent thanks. "How did the book signing go?"
He sighed a little and she could picture the face he would make. "Well, I got through it and I don't think I said anything too stupid or offended anyone so that's something."
She was familiar enough with Castle's charm when in his publicity mode that she suspected he'd managed to do far more than just avoid offending anyone. "Were there a lot of people there? You were out of reach for a while."
"Yeah, there was a good turnout, more than I was expecting, honestly, considering it's a weekday." He paused and she could somehow hear a grimace as he went on, "At another time, I might have appreciated the compliment to my ego but today, having so many people there was a trial I could have done without. Frankly, I'd wished only a handful of people would show up so I could have been done an hour ago."
"Well, I have it on good authority that you are a celebrity, a New York Times bestselling author too," she teased a little.
He gave a little huff that was the beginnings of a laugh, no doubt the closest he'd come to laughing since he'd received the call from Princeton earlier.
She felt absurdly pleased to have been able to make him laugh even a little. "Was today just a book signing? You didn't give a reading or have to make a speech or anything, did you?"
"Just a reading, thankfully. If anything more had been scheduled, I really would have backed out but as it was, I basically just pasted on a smile and responded by rote and signed everyone's books with just my name, no message or anything."
"I'm sure you did just fine. How did Paula react to your needing to cut your tour short?" She hadn't yet met Castle's agent but from all she'd heard, the woman was pushy and bossy, although Kate guessed both qualities served her well in her job, even if it made her less than the most pleasant of company.
"She wasn't happy about it, that's for sure, but I insisted and she had to give in. She did say that to make up for it, I'd need to do more local signings and then after the next book is released, fit in a few more tours to make up for the ones we canceled this time so I'll have a busy fall."
Castle sounded disgruntled and she couldn't deny that she wasn't exactly pleased herself at the prospect of Castle being so busy as it meant he would have less time to spend in the precinct, to say nothing of less time to spend with her too. Plus she already knew that she hated when Castle was out of town. But she wasn't about to say any of that; her own feelings about it weren't important. "I suppose that's to be expected. Where are you now anyway?"
"I'm on my way back to my hotel after leaving the bookstore. I have a few hours to pack and grab dinner before I need to head to the airport."
"What time does your flight leave?"
"Not until after 11 p.m." He sounded disgruntled. "I hate knowing that I have to just sit and do nothing but wait for so long before I can actually leave."
It wasn't fast enough for her either since she'd spent as long without him as she cared to but she reminded herself again that she didn't matter here. "Well, you can flap your arms like wings if it'll make you feel better to be doing something but I don't imagine it'll actually make your plane arrive or take off any faster so you might as well just sit and wait," she joked gently. Cheering him up a little was all she could do for him.
He gave a soft little laugh. "Thanks for that mental image."
"Anyway, Alexis is sleeping right now and will probably sleep the rest of the day and through the night. And I have it on the authority of Dr. Lanie Parish that the best thing for her right now is rest," she went on, deliberately using Lanie's professional title. "So even if you were able to get here sooner, there isn't anything more you could do."
"I know. I just still feel like I should be there, even if just to kiss away the hurt the way I used to when she fell and scraped her knee when she was little."
Her heart felt rather like ice cream left outside on a hot day, soft and melting. "You can try clicking your heels together three times and wishing if it'll make you feel better. But in the meantime, I promise I'll keep an eye on Alexis and let you know if anything about her condition changes so try not to worry too much."
"You're the best, you know that."
"I'll remind you, you said that the next time you complain when I shoot down one of your crazy theories."
He gave a soft half-laugh. "You can be the best and a spoilsport at the same time," he returned and she smiled. That sounded much more like his usual self.
"Go finish packing your bag and eat your dinner, Castle," she told him. "I'm going to see about getting some soup for Alexis whenever she wakes up. Have a safe flight."
"I'll see you early tomorrow morning," he responded, the words casual but his tone was not.
The call ended and she returned to her task of inventorying the food stuffs in the loft before she decided after a moment to order the additional groceries that were needed to be delivered. Might as well take advantage of being in New York City, the delivery capital of the country, especially when she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of leaving Alexis alone, even if she told herself it was silly as Alexis was still sleeping and even if the girl woke up, was old enough to be left alone for a short time.
Alexis slept for half the evening but she woke up and ventured downstairs long after it had gotten dark outside and after Kate had eaten a late, solitary dinner on her own.
Kate jumped up the moment she heard Alexis's step on the stairs and saw her coming downstairs. "Alexis, how are you feeling?"
Alexis managed a wan attempt at a smile. "My stomach still feels off but it's not actually hurting and I don't feel nauseous or anything anymore, just tired."
"I'll heat up some broth for you and make you tea too and hopefully that will help settle your stomach," she offered and proceeded to suit action to the words.
She felt a little awkward, hovering and watching Alexis as the girl cautiously sipped at both the broth and the tea, but wasn't sure what else she could do. "Your dad called earlier while you were sleeping but he said not to wake you up. He's probably on his way to the airport now, I imagine, and will be getting home first thing tomorrow morning."
Alexis's lips twisted rather ruefully. "Poor Dad. He must be freaking out."
Kate managed a small smile. "Yeah, he is," she agreed. "He worries about you."
Alexis's lips curved slightly even as she rolled her eyes a little, which Kate took as a positive sign towards Alexis's recovery. "I know. It's like he thinks I'm still a baby."
"I'm not sure parents ever totally stop thinking of their kids like that," she offered. "My dad still reminds me to do things like carry an umbrella on a rainy day or wear a jacket when it's cold." And as much as Kate usually responded teasingly to such reminders, she rather treasured them because she also remembered too well the years when her dad had been drowning, when he hadn't been enough himself to even try to play the parental role. Such reminders were an expression of love.
Alexis managed a small smile. "It's both a little annoying and sweet at the same time, isn't it?"
Kate smiled at that. "That's a pretty good description of how your dad often is," she agreed.
Alexis's smile widened a little and then she finished her broth, followed shortly after by her tea. She made a small face. "I don't know how I'm still so tired when I basically slept all afternoon."
"Oh, don't worry about cleaning anything up," Kate hurriedly interposed when Alexis made as if to put her empty bowl in the sink. "I'll take care of everything down here. Why don't you just go back to bed? You need to get plenty of rest."
Alexis nodded and stood up rather slowly. Kate supposed it was far too soon to be expecting any really obvious sign of improvement. Alexis paused, turning back. "Kate? Thanks for doing all this. I wish Dad hadn't bothered you with this but since he did, thanks. It has… helped. And I'm sure it made things easier for Dad too, with him being away."
"No thanks necessary. I'm just happy I could help," she answered even as her heart seemed to clench a little. She would have done it for Castle's sake alone, of course, but she was reminded all over again that she cared about Alexis too.
She hadn't just fallen for the man; she had fallen for the entire family, in a very real sense, hadn't she? Of course she had–Alexis, so smart and sweet but with that streak of fun and mischief that reminded Kate of Castle, and Martha, with her vibrancy and warm open-heartedness.
Alexis gave her a wan but real smile. "Good night, Kate. And thanks again."
"Good night, Alexis. Sleep well."
She hadn't thought she was ready to really step into a parental role with Alexis but when Castle had called, she had reacted without thought. Maybe that was it; it wasn't about deciding she was ready in some hypothetical sense but deciding to do what was needed. It was still a rather terrifying thought, becoming more of a parent–she'd never really thought about having kids at all–but terrifying or not, she couldn't, wouldn't, step back now. Taking care of Alexis came hand in hand with any real relationship with Castle and that, she was committed to, so in a very real sense, ready or not, she had no choice.
~To be continued…~
A/N 2: Thank you as always to all readers and reviewers.
