No Going Back


Punk was sitting on the sofa later that night watching hockey, although not really paying attention with so much on his mind, this time not about AJ but about his mother's house, their family home they grew up in.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a knock at the apartment door. He got up and left the living room, heading to the door and opening it up, surprised to see AJ standing.

"Hey." AJ said.

"Hi." Punk nodded.

"I uh… I just wanted you to know that Jason is gonna make it right with your mother's house." She nodded.

"It's really nothing to do with you, I suppose." Punk said, "Are you his spokesperson?"

"No." AJ said bluntly, "But I'd hate to think he took advantage of your mom's state of mind, to get her to sign over the house-"

"Well I think that's exactly what he did." Punk nodded.

"He'll sort it out and it shouldn't be a problem." AJ nodded.

"Well if he doesn't I'm gonna sue him." Punk shrugged, "Either way I win." He nodded to her, "And you lose money-"

"I thought this was nothing to do with me?" AJ shook her head.

"Well… don't couples share their money when they're practically married?" He shrugged, looking across at her and watching as she sighed, looking down at the ground, "Look, it's not your fault. It really is nothing to do with you."

"He's not like that." AJ shook her head, looking across at him, "He just… he couldn't have known she had dementia." She said.

"Ok, granted, maybe he didn't know. But me and my brother still deal with her finances and her bills. It's stated on all the paper work which he would have saw. But he knew he only needed her signature." Punk said, "I'm not dumb. It's a beautiful house and it's sitting there with no one in it. But it's not his."

"I know." AJ understood, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. You… didn't have to come here and apologise on behalf of him. It's his mess. He can clear it up." Punk nodded as she looked across at him.

"How is your mom?" AJ asked, watching him step to the side a little, realising he was inviting her inside with his body language, so she stepped inside the apartment.

"She's doing ok." He said, walking through to the living room as she followed, "Most days this week actually she's recognised my face." He nodded.

"That's good." AJ nodded softly, "Listen I know I was adamant about you staying away from me, and I am, I just wanted to come here to see if you were ok."

"If I was ok?" He asked.

"You seemed pretty upset." She nodded. And that was the truth. Something in her hurt whilst she watched him angrily yell about her fiancé basically scamming his mother. She knew she shouldn't have, but she wanted to see if he was ok.

"Well yeah, I was. I am." He nodded, "It's my mom's house and… if she was of a sound mind, she'd be so upset to know it was up for sale. She's left it to me and my brother and we'll decide what to do with it when the time comes."

"You have every right to do." She nodded.

"I know." He looked across at her.

"Where is your brother?" AJ asked curiously.

"He's at work." Punk nodded.

"Was that the house you grew up in?" AJ asked.

"Yeah." Punk said, "We didn't want to move her out of it but she was falling over a lot and… she couldn't take care of herself on her own there anymore." He shook his head.

"You're not a bad person for putting her in a home." AJ assured him, "It's the safest and kindest thing you can do for her. She's getting looked after, twenty four seven." She nodded. He looked like he needed that reassurance.

"I know." Punk understood, "Still… it's not something you wanna do."

"Of course not." AJ shook her head, "Jason stormed out of the house, taking a ton of phone calls, so I hope it all gets sorted for you."

"I do too." He nodded, "You didn't have to come check on me. I'm fine." He nodded with a smile.

"I haven't told him." AJ blurted out as he looked at her, "And I know that makes me a… just an awful person, but I just can't do it."

"Not really my business." Punk shrugged.

"No because it is." AJ nodded, "It is your business. Because this… whatever is happening here between us, it's becoming an issue for me." She told him, "I didn't feel like an awful person for kissing you, I felt like an awful person for getting mad when we were interrupted." She said truthfully. She had to tell him. She had to tell herself that truth.

"April." Punk shook his head, "You're only lying to yourself. You… You clearly have things you gotta figure out. Things only you can figure out."

"Everything was perfect." She looked at him, "Before I saw you. Everything felt right. Like it was all working out for me." She nodded.

"Not that perfect, obviously." Punk said.

"Obviously." AJ nodded in agreement, "And honestly, you're still a stranger. That's what makes this so confusing for me. How can I feel like this for someone I don't really know?"

"I can't answer that for you." Punk shook his head.

"I love my fiancé." She nodded.

"Do you?" Punk questioned.

"Yes." AJ said, "And I want to marry him. But ever since you've came into my life that image of marrying him is getting blurry." She shook her head.

"Why is that?" Punk shook his head, walking towards her, "Why did you kiss me?" He asked.

"Because I wanted to." She whispered, looking up at him, "The way you look at me… no one has ever looked at me like that before. Like I'm the only person in the room."

"That's how I see it." He said, "You realise that wanting to kiss me kinda has me doubting how much you love your fiancé?"

"I realise that." AJ nodded.

"You should leave him." He said, "I don't think he knows what he has."

"And you would know?" She asked.

"I would." He nodded, "And I'd tell you every day." He whispered as she looked up at him.

"I don't trust myself when I'm with you." She shook her head, placing her hand on his chest to push him back a little, "You probably think I'm just some unfaithful, confused, chaotic slut-"

"No." Punk shook his head, "I don't. I think you fell in love with your fiancé, and now you're falling out of love with him." He said, his voice trailing off to a whisper as she looked up at him.

"But I still love him." She gulped.

"I don't think you do." He shook his head, "I can prove you don't."

"How?" She shook her head, watching him inch closer to her, so close she felt her heart almost beating out it's chest. The truth was, her fiancé had never made her feel like this. Ever.

"You would never have come here." He assured her, "And you wouldn't look like you're begging for me to kiss you right now."

"I am not." She whispered breathlessly, watching him lean down, lips touching hers as she kissed back, this time wrapping her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as she felt him pick her up off the ground, her legs wrapping around his waist by instinct as he walked to his bedroom with her.

She knew by coming here she was opening the risk of all of this. And she was sure when all was said and done she'd hate herself even more than she already did, but it was so hard to care when it felt this good. As good as it had ever felt for her.

He took her through to the bedroom, putting her back down to her feet as she took her coat off, tossing it on the floor, t-shirt going next as he picked her up again, this time laying her down on the bed.

He cupped her breasts over her bra, kissing from her lips down to her neck as AJ rolled her head back in awe. She absolutely had the mental capacity to tell him to stop, to cut it short before the situation escalated into something she definitely couldn't take back, but with his lips on her neck and his hand travelling down into her panties, the words just refused to come out.

Punk unbuttoned her jeans, pushing his hand inside her panties, fingers slipping between her folders to find her clit as she moaned at the touch.

"Fuck." She whispered, bringing his face from her neck as she captured his lips again, kissing passionately, shivers running up her spine from his touch.

She watched as he unclasped her bra, tossing it behind him off the bed, putting his mouth on her breasts whilst continue his travel down her body. She couldn't remember the last time a man had gone down on her. Jason certainly didn't.

She felt him violently pull down her jeans and panties, which turned her on all the more, watching the desperation he had to get to her.

It wasn't long until she felt his tongue on her, his mouth closing around her folds. She had to grab the sheets beneath her whilst her back arched through no fault of her own.

"Oh my God." She moaned, looking up at the ceiling, losing all control of her senses whilst she felt his warm tongue explore her, spending time at the right places for the right amount of time.

Punk shifted his eyes up to look at her, enjoying watching her riving beneath him under his control. It was like her body had been crying out for this. Her moans told him so. So he teased her all the more, slipping two fingers inside her once she was wet enough.

"Fuck." AJ gasped, propping herself up on her elbows, looking down at him, his nose resting on her pubic bone whilst his tongue worked below, his eyes never leaving her as she bit her lip with pleasure ecstasy.

She couldn't hold herself up for very much longer, collapsing back down as she felt his fingers hit her g-spot, the combination of it all sending her completely over the edge, moaning out his name.

"Phil." She gasped, placing her hand on his forehead below as he chuckled a little, watching her body pulsing, chest rising up and down as he kissed back up her body all the way to her lips, looking in her eyes.

"You're so beautiful like this." He said, looking into her eyes as she kissed him passionately, rolling them over so she was on top, stripping his t-shirt from him and pushing his jeans and boxer shorts down.

She sized him up, wrapping her hand around his length, larger than what she was used to, stroking him up and down as he moaned softly. She then used her mouth on him, bobbing her head up and down on his length.

"Oh, fuck." Punk moaned, placing his hand at the back of her head, "Fuck, I want you so bad." He moaned as she smiled, using her hand on him as she rested her cheek on his thigh, looking up at him with doe eyes.

"I want you inside of me." She whispered, looking at him directly.

"Go on then." He nodded, watching as she straddled over his hips whilst he reached for a condom, tearing it open and rolling it on before she guided him to her entrance, slowly lowering herself down upon him, their moans escaping at the same time the more he inched inside of her.

"Fuck." AJ gasped, leaning over him and kissing his lips, "Fuck that's so big." She whispered breathlessly, grabbing his jaw, "That feels so good." She moaned, wanting him to look at her.

"Tell me how." He nodded, feeling her begin to move her hips up and down, watching her place her hands flat on his chest for support, her hips moving up and down steady whilst her breasts bounced lightly, threatening to send him over the edge right there and then.

It wasn't just the physical feelings that came with sex anyway, it was how badly he wanted her, how badly they both wanted this.


They went for hours. A cycle of moving around the bed in different positions. She was even hanging off the bed upside down at one point. She'd never had that sort of passion. It was all new to her and very clearly something she'd so wished for. The roughness came from being desired and that was all she wanted.

She was propped on her hands and knees in front of him whilst he thrust into her from behind, his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back into his length every time he thrust into her. It was pure magic and her body felt like it was floating.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." AJ moaned over the sound of skin hitting skin, getting a glance of them in the mirror as she looked at his face, seeing nothing but pleasure as he thrust into her.

"Yeah? You gonna cum?" He asked breathlessly, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum." He thought to himself.

"Phil." She moaned, dropping her cheek to the mattress whilst his hands went to grip her hips, "Fuck." She moaned out loudly, clenching the sheets that were messy around her, her moans spiralling on as her body danced and tingled.

"Shit." Punk moaned, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum." He said quickly as he felt his release, leaning over her for a few seconds before collapsing onto his back on the bed.

AJ crawled over, collapsing down on her back beside him, loud breathing filling the room and nothing else. Nothing was said. No conversation was made. They'd done all the talking they needed to. Now she waited for the feelings of guilt, dread and confusion to seep in.