Telling Someone


"Ok, I brought my wine. I brought some chips. Got your favourite chocolate." Renee unloaded the bag in the kitchen as AJ smiled, "I also brought my own homemade dip, because you need to try it. Not to blow smoke up my own ass or anything but it's good." She nodded.

"You really need to teach me how to cook for when Matteo gets older. And Phil. He burns toast. He's very useless in the kitchen." AJ admitted.

"Well lucky auntie Renee is here." Renee smiled to her.

"I'm really glad you're here." AJ nodded to her sincerely.

A night with her best friend meant she didn't have to sit in her own thoughts for the first time in a while. She was glad Renee had come over to eat some junk with her and watch some TV. She really needed it.

"I am too." Renee said, "It's been so long since we've hung out." She said unhappily, opening her wine as AJ passed her a glass.

"I know. Too long. But I get it, you're busy with work and I'm busy… staring at my living room walls." AJ nodded as Renee looked at her.

"Is it tough with Phil at work?" AJ nodded.

"Yeah, more so with him doing nights. I mean I'm eating my dinner on my own. I'm bathing Matteo on my own. Putting him down for the night. Then the house is ridiculously quiet and I hate it." AJ shook her head, "It's only been four days and it's felt like four weeks."

"Well you've been so used to him being around more, it's gonna take a bit of time to get used to." Renee said.

"I'm not mad about it. He knows that. I'm not trying to make him feel guilty. Oh, poor me having to stay home with the baby. No… I love it, I love being with Matteo. I just miss him." AJ nodded, "I miss going to bed with him." She said as Renee smiled.

"I bet you do." Renee gave her a grin as AJ chuckled.

"So I'm glad you're here tonight." AJ nodded to her gratefully.

"Me too." Renee smiled, "And I heard that me and you are going out for a girls day when Phil gets a day off." She nodded.

"Yeah, he suggested it. I think he secretly feels guilty that he's working and I'm here." AJ nodded, "So he suggested we go out for the day. Baby free."

"It's not a bad suggestion." Renee took a sip of her wine.

"It's not." AJ agreed, "So… how has work been? You gotta fill me in. By the time I come back there's probably gonna be a whole new bunch of staff there." She said, emptying the chips into a bowl at the table.

"Honestly, nothing has really changed. Nothing that I've noticed anyway." Renee said, "You know how it is, you barely even get a chance to look up when you're there. There's no time for gossip which is sad." She shook her head.

"How has Shauna been?" AJ smiled, heading into the living room as Renee followed, sitting their things down on the coffee table.

"The same Shauna we all know and love." Renee groaned as AJ chuckled, "So is little Matteo down for the night?" She asked, getting comfy on the sofa as did AJ.

"Yeah he should be. He'll wake around 3 or 4 for a feed and then he goes straight back down." AJ nodded, "He's a good boy." She smiled proudly.

"Well I told Shauna I was coming to hang out with you tonight and she was very pleased. She seems kinda worried about you. About what was going on with your mom." Renee nodded.

"Yeah, she does." AJ nodded, "I guess I kinda opened up to her when she swung by here. Let her know how crazy the relationship I have with my mom is. Weird thing is she… didn't seem really surprised." AJ shrugged as Renee nodded.

She'd been having conversations with Shauna at work, and although she wasn't going to ask her friend if her mother was more than just psychologically abusive to her growing up, she was going to make sure she knew it was safe to talk to her about any of it, anything at all.

"I know I used to always joke about your mom and how insane she was." Renee said, "I guess that was back when I kinda thought she was somewhat still decent. But… maybe I should have questioned it more, helped you see clearer." She said as AJ looked at her, "You never actually spoke about her much with me. Her or your dad."

"There was nothing to really speak about." AJ shook her head, the words rolling off her tongue by default. There was plenty to speak about. Too much.

"I doubt that." Shauna said, "Not everyone sees eye to eye with their parents."

"I know that. And that's fine. If we didn't see eye to eye, that'd be easy. But I don't know what it is that we have. I hate her and I feel guilty about it." She shook her head.

"You should hate her. She's been terrible to you. And I'm pretty sure I don't even know the half of it." Renee said subtly as AJ looked at her suspiciously.

"You've looked at my files, haven't you?" AJ realised, "You and Shauna." She said as Renee looked across at her, taking a sip of her wine.

"Shauna told me about the burns when you were a kid, and then about your mom stealing dressings from the hospital. Burn dressings." Renee said, "Shauna's with pysch, she's just really worried about you and… so am I." She nodded as AJ looked down, pulling over her blanket for comfort.

"So… Shauna's trying to psycho analyse me?" AJ shook her head.

"Of course she's not." Renee said, "She just knows that your mom is awful and… I guess she's just trying to figure out how awful she is… she was."

"I can't get into it." AJ looked at Renee seriously, "I… I can't. There's too much of it and… what she's doing now is even worse to me… worse than what she did to me as a kid-"

"What is she doing?" Renee sat up a little, sitting her glass of wine down, "April, you can't carry everything by yourself, cause I assume Phil has no clue."

"I need to tell him what she's done." AJ nodded.

"What? What did she do?" Renee asked.

"She found their birth mom." AJ said. Somehow diverting the attention to her mother's current puppet show was better than reliving the horrors from her childhood. This was present and this was now. She could do something about this. She couldn't do anything about her four year old self.

"What? Phil and Dean's?" Renee questioned.

"Yeah." AJ ran her hand through her hair, "Yeah, she came here one night and she told me she'd found their real mom… God, Renee it's awful."

"Who is she?" Renee asked worriedly.

"She's in prison. Her name is Nickie. She's mentally ill I think." AJ nodded, "She killed her husband. Their dad." She said as Renee raised her eyebrows.

"Oh my God." Renee said horrified.

"And I think she was Gerry and Paul's foster daughter." AJ said as Renee shook her head in disbelief, "I spoke to the detective who was in charge of the case. I wanted to be sure. To know that my mom wasn't just playing games. But it's true. I've saw the articles too. It's like she had some kind of mental breakdown and killed her husband." She shook her head.

"April this is crazy." Renee said, "Why would your mom… what has this got to do with her?"

"She thinks it'll spook me. Said that I should be careful with the genetics. I think she was implying I had made a baby with the devil or something." AJ shook her head, "It's just ridiculous."

"Jesus." Renee sighed.

"And all I can think about is how adamant Phil and Dean are about not knowing their biological parents. I think this will crush them. Especially because Gerry knew all along. And she always told them she didn't. I can understand why she'd lie to them but… I can't even imagine how it's gonna make them feel."

"They have to know, though." Renee said as AJ nodded.

"Jason came to the house last night." She told Renee.

"Why?" Renee shook her head.

"He was just saying how crazy my mom was being. Trying to get him involved. Trying to get him to say how much he still loved me. He seemed just as disturbed as I am. He's leaving town again." AJ said, "I think he was concerned about me."

"Yeah, no kidding. Your mom needs help, that's what she needs. I mean… doing all of this just because she doesn't like who you married? It's insane." Renee said.

"It's not just that. She knows that I'm onto her about something." AJ said.

"About what?" Renee asked as AJ looked at her, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I think I had a sibling." AJ nodded, "A little brother or sister." She admitted as Renee looked at her, "And I think… I think my mom did something bad." She nodded as Renee looked at her, "I have faint memories of her holding a baby. And then it was gone and then… the burning started." She said. To say it out loud, to say things she'd buried in her mind, and just so recently started to come to terms with… it was a relief.

"April." Renee sighed with concern.

"I know." AJ nodded, "I was too young to know or see what happened but… there was a baby and then one day there wasn't. And I became the only thing she had. And I got all of her… pain, her trauma, her anger and sadness… she put it all on me." AJ said.

"I think you need to talk to the police." Renee said, "And Phil. You can't keep him in the dark with this."

"It was just easier when I didn't think about it and it was… it was buried at the back of my mind." AJ said, drying her tears. She was frustrated with herself for talking about it, for truly bringing it all to life, because now she had to face it. Properly.

"Hey, it's ok." Renee sighed, standing up and sitting down on the sofa beside her, wrapping her arm around her, "None of this is your fault. You need to talk about this. You can't keep that to yourself." She shook her head as AJ just cried.


Later that night Punk was making his way to his car after another night shift. It was going on 5am and he was glad to be going home, slipping into his bed with his wife after a tiring night.

He threw his bag into the back seat, closing the door over when he heard heels clicking in the distance, the sound getting closer as he turned around curiously.

"Rough night?" Jeanette asked, placing her hands in her coat pockets as Punk looked at her.

"No harder than usual." Punk said, "Early riser?" He shook his head.

"I don't sleep much." Jeanette shook her head as Punk nodded, looking across at her. He knew how much she disliked him just by the way she looked at him. And part of him loved it.

"Well can I help you?" Punk asked, "I'd really like to go home and get to sleep." He admitted truthfully.

"Why did you do it?" Jeanette narrowed her eyes at him, standing a few feet away.

"Do what?" Punk asked.

"Go after a married woman." Jeanette said as Punk smiled a little.

"April wasn't married when I met her." He nodded.

"No, she was engaged. Almost married. She would have been married if you hadn't gotten involved." Jeanette said, "Why go after someone who is already with someone else? I find it… shameful."

"Well your daughter didn't think so." Punk nodded smugly, "And her opinion is the only opinion I care about." He assured her.

"You changed her. You took her from me. With Jason she was… she was still my daughter. With you… she suddenly wants nothing to do with me. So I think you're the problem in this." Jeanette nodded.

"No, I think you're the problem." Punk said calmly, "I think you need to realise your daughter is a grown up. She's a big girl. And she makes her own decisions. Like when she decided she wanted to marry me. When she decided she wanted to have a baby with me." He nodded, "Those are things she wanted. Which was something so foreign to her because you never let her go after the things she wanted. It was always what you thought was best. And now you can't stand that she doesn't care about what you think anymore."

"Oh, she cares." Jeanette assured him, "She'll always care."

"You need to stay away from her before this gets ugly. She doesn't want you around." Punk shook his head.

"I can only assume she hasn't told you." Jeanette realised. She figured if AJ had told him about his biological mother, he would have been a lot angrier.

"Told me what?" Punk shook his head, extremely tempted to get in the car and drive off.

"She knows all about your biological parents. You should ask her about it. I'm sure you'll have fun learning about where you came from." Jeanette smiled as Punk looked at her with confusion, "Drive safe." She nodded, turning around and walking away into the darkness as Punk stood for a few minutes, absorbing what she had just said before getting into the car to drive home.