-O-
Picturebook Romance
A Trolls fanfic
By Dreamsinger
Chapter 56
A Visit to Some Old Friends
"Say Poppy, since we have a good twenty minutes left before Cleanup Day officially begins, I'd like to go check up on Leafe. He was pretty shaken up yesterday after – you know."
Poppy winced contritely. "Good idea. I'll go with you." Then she had second thoughts, recalling yesterday's conversation about PTSD. Maybe seeing her would be bad for Leafe? "If you think it's a good idea."
Branch noticed the worried look on her face and put a hand on her arm. "He'll be glad to see you're okay," he said gently.
Poppy felt better. "Thanks, Branch."
Her boyfriend slid his hand down her arm and clasped her hand in his. At his gentle tug, Poppy began to walk with him in the direction of Leafe and Cherry Blossom's pod.
She wondered if she should say something to him about them holding hands in front of the other trolls, but Branch had made his choice. He was holding hands with her because he wanted to. Just like she wanted to hold hands with him. Besides, it's not like this is the first time we've ever held hands. I'm sure nobody will think twice about it.
It was a beautiful morning, a little cooler than yesterday, with crisp blue skies and bright sunshine. Perfect weather for a stroll with my sweetie. Poppy began to hum a cheerful tune as she swung their hands between them, the bounce returned to her step.
After a moment, Branch began to hum along with her.
-O-
After a moment's thought, I decided to look for Leafe at home. Most probably he hadn't left yet. I remembered that Leafe's sense of time was somewhat elastic. It gave him the endless patience he needed while teaching his students - especially his first; a gray, emotionally turbulent teenager - but it also mean he was often late for things. Then, too, he often had several projects going simultaneously, which meant time easily got away from him unless he was really watching the clock. Or unless Cheery or I watched it for him.
I'd guessed right; we arrived just as they were leaving. My two friends invited us inside, offering us a fresh fruit smoothie. We accepted, since we'd skimped on breakfast. Based on past Cleanup Days, I figured today was going to be a long day and we'd need the energy.
As we enjoyed our second breakfast, Cherry Blossom said to Poppy, "Your outfit is super cute. Did you make it yourself?"
She wore green shorts like mine, an orange, flowered headband, and an orange T-shirt. Most of her front was covered in fuzzy puffball beads that spread outward in the shape of a heart, each ring of beads a different color. It was way brighter than anything I would normally wear, but it did look cute. On Poppy, anything looks cute, I thought in amusement.
When Poppy explained that she'd gotten it from the twins and then pulled out the scrapbook she'd made of us in our new outfits, I sighed and resigned myself to be patient. I didn't hate socializing any more, but it did have a tendency to disrupt my plans. Looks like we're not gonna get there early after all. Oh, well. We've got a little time. I guess I'll just have to settle for getting there at nine.
I sat back and calmly finished my smoothie. While Cherry Blossom and Leafe were ooo-ing and ahh-ing over the outfits, and complimenting Poppy and me, I gazed around the pod. It was the first time I'd actually been here.
It was light and airy inside the pretty yellow-and-pink pod my friends shared with their two daughters, Pippin and Bonny. The soft hair that made up the floor was a beautiful, swirly mix of pinks, lavenders, light blues and aquas. In the main room there were four large, low desks covered with scrapbooks, papers, and craft supplies. The desks were arranged in a loose group to one side, under a big window that let in plenty of light. I noted that the comfortable-looking cushions at each desk had pleasing geometric patterns in bright colors, each one different. Just what I would have expected from a family of scholars.
Except for one thing. "Where are all your books?" I asked just as Poppy asked, "Where are your girls?"
My friends answered simultaneously.
"Oh, they're already out and about," said Cherry Blossom.
"I'll show you," replied Leafe.
It took me a moment to process both answers. As I did so, Leafe walked past me to the back of the pod. He bent down, took hold of the floor-hair, and tugged upward, peeling it back to reveal a hole. One by one, we jumped through it. Most pods had a small storage area under the main level. Usually they stored hobby supplies, household items, clothes, games, sports equipment, trophies won in various competitions, that sort of thing.
For my friends, that meant books. Lots and lots of books, both handwritten books and scrapbooks, lining the walls. Puzzles, too, and games. I saw the wooden puzzle sphere I'd given Leafe yesterday, neatly placed in a wicker basket on a shelf with similar toys. There were four small round windows spaced at equal distances around the large room. They had actual glass in them, no doubt to protect the books from the elements. The glass was even tinted to stop the sun's rays from fading the book covers. I couldn't help but smile in admiration. Whoever designed this library thought of everything.
Most of the rest of the room was full of bookcases, laid out in an unusual pattern. I tilted my head and took a closer look, studying it thoughtfully as I rubbed my chin. After a moment, I realized what I was looking at, and gave Leafe a wry look. "Nice maze."
"Thank you. Laurel designed it for us," Leafe answered proudly. "She comes here and changes it every so often so it doesn't get too predictable."
"Oh." I felt my face stiffen at the unexpected mention of the girl I'd once been so close to. Maybe they noticed, since Cherry Blossom immediately changed the subject.
"How are you feeling, Poppy?" Cherry Blossom asked her.
"Fine," she said automatically. Then she looked at me, and her confident smile faded to a look of uncertainty. Her eyebrows went up.
I knew what she was asking, and nodded reassuringly. My old friends could be trusted not to flip out over learning that their queen wasn't quite back to normal yet.
So Poppy took a deep breath and told them the truth. "Well, first, thank you so much for saving my life, Leafe. And Cherry Blossom, to answer your question, I'm okay, physically. But, um… I'm sort of having some emotional problems. From the trauma, you know? Bad dreams, too."
They both nodded. "Perfectly understandable," Cherry Blossom said reassuringly.
"I had a few myself," Leafe commented. "Fascinating, from a psychological point of view. Although I'll admit that for once I find myself less eager than I would have thought to have the opportunity to examine my own psyche in such…graphic detail." He shivered. Cherry Blossom put a comforting hand on his arm, and we all gazed at him in gentle sympathy. My old friend gave his wife a look of loving gratitude before adding, "But most likely, the bad dreams will go away, in time."
"That's what Branch says." Poppy beamed at me. "He's been so supportive and understanding." She reached out to hold my hand again.
I was too concerned about Leafe to do much to acknowledge Poppy's compliment, automatically wrapping my hand around Poppy's as I gave my old roommate a concerned once-over. His colors seemed as bright as Poppy's, which reassured me. Still, just to be sure I asked him, "Are you okay, Leafe?"
"Oh, yes. Much better than yesterday. And much better than I'd be if we'd lost the queen." His bright teal-blue eyes studied me for a moment. "Part of me is still frightened when I think of that experience," he said honestly, "but another part of me is proud to have been able to help. You know, I couldn't have done it without your knowledge, Branch."
I recognized where this conversation was heading. He was going to ask me again about teaching the trollings. It was flattering, but it also brought up a lot of conflicting feelings. The last time I'd bonded with a trolling, Acorn, it hadn't ended well. Seriously. Besides, I just didn't want to deal with all that right now; I just wanted to get used to my new relationship with Poppy. Was that too much to ask?
So I interrupted Leafe. "How did you like the puzzle toy I gave you?"
My friend broke out into a big smile. "It was a fascinating diversion! Where did you get it? I'd like to acquire a few more," he said eagerly.
Spoken like a true academic, I thought in amusement.
Cherry Blossom nodded happily. "We all had a turn, and we really enjoyed the challenge. I've seen similar ones before, but none so complex. Who is the maker?"
"The Whizbangs." I didn't add Laurel's parents, but they knew. "I spoke to them yesterday morning while I was waiting for Poppy to run an errand."
"Oh, did you?" Cherry Blossom sounded pleased, just as Leafe commented, "They must have created a new line of puzzles."
"I went to see Maddy. My Hug Time watch needed work," Poppy answered Cherry Blossom.
"Hmph." I crossed my arms and gave her a sideways look, still not convinced that that was all she'd been up to. I was still biding my time, waiting to see what else happened.
Poppy winked at me, a sly smile playing about her lips. I lifted an eyebrow and grinned playfully back at her. Two could play this game.
"I'm sure that made them happy," Leafe said sincerely.
I broke off flirting with Poppy to give him a puzzled look. I'd forgotten that conversations with the two of them could be confusing. My friends had a disconcerting tendency to jump back and forth among various topics, some related to each another, some random. How they followed it all was beyond me. "Who made who happy?"
Cherry Blossom interpreted her husband's non sequitur. "You made the Whizbangs happy, to reconnect with them after so long. I know they missed you. It makes us happy, too, Branch. We've all missed you."
I looked down. "Sorry. It's just…"
"No need to explain, Branch," Leafe said kindly. "We understand; it took time to sort yourself out. Well, time…and a certain special someone."
I saw Leafe's eyes go to my hair, which had somehow joined with Poppy's without me noticing. I controlled the instinctive urge to pull away from her. I didn't have to hide my feelings for Poppy from my friends. They knew our secret.
"I think you'll find life a little easier to cope, with the right partner by your side," Leafe added. "Someone to support you and make you feel better when you need it. For example, Cheery and I did the couple's dance several times last night," he informed me in the same matter-of-fact manner I remembered so well. "Reminding each other that we were alive, and in love."
Caught off-guard, Poppy and I yanked our hair apart and turned away from one another, blushing like crazy.
Leafe didn't seem to notice. "It was just what we both needed." He glanced at Cherry Blossom and said with a twinkle in his eye, "My beautiful wife always knows how to make me feel better."
"Uhh, thanks; a little too much info, Leafe!" I said frantically, my voice wobbling.
Sheesh! Scholars. I'd forgotten that almost nothing embarrassed Leafe. Telling me about how they enjoyed last night…as if Poppy and I…
Then somehow I was thinking of my pretty girlfriend. What we could do for each other… I turned to sneak a look at her, and met a pair of bright rose-colored eyes. Our faces lit up so ferociously they literally glowed, pink and turquoise light reflecting off the books around us.
Then Leafe asked, "And how are you, Branch?"
The heat in my face faded as I turned to look at him, honestly puzzled. Poppy and Leafe were the ones who'd been hurt, not me. I hadn't even been there when Poppy choked, and Leafe had had to pass the ultimate pop quiz on the lesson he'd so recently learned from me. Thankfully, he'd always been a quick study.
"I'm fine, Leafe. What do you mean?"
"Well, did everything go all right last night?"
Husband and wife looked back and forth between Poppy and me, and his meaning hit us both at the same time. If I'd thought I was blushing hard before, it was nothing compared to now! My face felt hotter than my inferno flower's thousand-degree blast!
Her face still rosy-cheeked, Poppy started to say, "Well, not exactly-"
I flapped my hands in the air in front of me. "We-we-we didn't-" I couldn't even get a full sentence out. How did he know? Cheery must have told him that I couldn't-
Sure enough, Leafe said, "Cheery told me that you were experiencing difficulties engaging in intimacy with the queen."
"Leafe! Please!" I slapped a hand over my eyes, ready to melt into the ground. Now was not the time to bring up that particular subject!
It had been uncomfortable enough yesterday talking with Cherry Blossom, when I'd been the one asking her about it. I knew Leafe probably considered it his responsibility to bring it up, just as he had when I was younger, but- Really? Right now? Today is Cleanup Day, for hair's sake! I've got stuff to do. Besides, we were here to check up on Leafe, not the other way around!
It was at times like these that I was especially glad that Poppy was so good at easing social tensions. She took some of the heat off me by piping up, "Please, Leafe, just call me Poppy. And I want to thank you and Cherry Blossom for all the support you've always given Branch. I really appreciate it." I felt her nudge my ribs with her elbow. "I know Branch does, too."
I lifted my hand from my face in time to see Leafe share a look of mingled amusement and affection with his wife. "No problem, Poppy. We remember what it was like," Leafe replied.
Cherry Blossom chuckled gently. "Remember our first time together, honey?"
My old roommate nodded, his eyes misty with nostalgia behind his round glasses. "Oh, that was something, all right. Even though I'd frolicked before, it was different with you. I was so nervous…"
"Me, too. I wanted you to like me so much. You were so precious to me, in a way none of my other partners had ever been."
"You were so beautiful…"
"You were the most handsome boy in the village…"
Ugh, they're not gonna let this go, are they? Even though I rolled my eyes, I couldn't help but smile fondly at them. Poppy wasn't the only one who was sensitive to hidden meanings. I was touched at how my friends were doing their best to share their own experiences, to make me feel better. To remind me that they really did understand what I was feeling, and that I wasn't alone.
Leafe took Cherry Blossom's hands in his, looking deeply into her shimmering green eyes. "I remember it like it was yesterday, my flower. All I could think of was how lucky I was, to get the chance to be with you…"
"I was so happy to be with you, too, honey. So excited. It was-"
"Okay, guys, we get the idea," I said firmly. Like most trolls, they'd run with it until something came along and stopped them.
"-one of the best nights of my life," they finished together.
But their little mini-drama had had its intended effect. I wasn't embarrassed anymore. Well I was, but not nearly to the extent that those two sappy lovebirds ought to be!
Poppy wasn't embarrassed anymore, either. She was too busy cooing over their lovey-dovey display. Then she looked at me, and I could practically see her imagining the two of us creating a couple's dance of our own. She gave me a sweet, wistful smile, and I felt an impulse to reach out to her. To slide my hand along her jaw and bring her face to mine; to let my lips wander where they would. I didn't do it, but I wanted to. I wanted to be close to her, in all ways, despite still feeling like I was out of my depth.
Maybe she saw my longing, as my girlfriend came close and took my hand in hers again. I was glad for that.
I sighed. Maybe I could spare a few minutes to chat about this incredibly awkward, yet oh-so-important subject. This time when I looked at my friends, I lifted my eyebrows in a silent plea.
They understood, responding with looks of sympathetic encouragement. "I can see that you're curious, Branch," Leafe said kindly. "Do you have anything you want to ask us?"
I took a deep breath. If there was anyone I might feel even halfway-comfortable talking to about my issues, it was my old roommate and his sweetheart. After all, they'd known prickly, cynical teenage Branchkin better than anyone.
-O-
One of the first signs of puberty in trolls was when their noses began to grow bigger, which usually happened around age twelve. When it happened to me, I was just a few weeks shy of my twelfth birthday.
Jaunty and Courtley had thrown me a big party to celebrate my nose growing, and I hadn't even minded. It was a relief to realize that I had grown big and strong, after being so scrawny for most of my trollhood. In fact, I was bigger than most of the trollings in my class. I was so glad to finally feel like I was catching up to my foster dads.
"You're growing up so fast, my boy," Courtley said proudly, his voice rich with affection. "Soon you'll be ready to frolic. Won't that be fun?"
Jaunty ruffled my hair. "You're going to have so many trolls wanting to invite you to frolic, they'll have to get in line," chuckled the magenta glitter troll. "The next Frolic Festival season is only five months away. Just wait until you try it. You'll love it!" He fired an enthusiastic burst of glitter into the air to emphasize his point.
"Guys, come on," I said, embarrassed, but inside I was pleased that my dads thought I was good-looking enough to attract other trolls' attention.
"Anyone you fancy yet, lad?" Courtley's expression was half curious, half playful.
Jaunty nodded at me. "If there's someone you like, we can give you some tips to woo the troll of your dreams. One thing to look for is if you both have matching hairblooms. It's a sign you'll have good chemistry together…"
Since I'd never had a hairbloom, I kind of zoned out around then, my mind wandering over what I knew about Frolic Festival season. In my head, I'd always called it "mating season". For me, it's mostly just a nice break from school. A time when all the adults get even sillier than usual. My dads walk around with these big, giddy smiles on their faces and flirt like crazy in front of me.
I rolled my eyes, but a part of me wondered what it would be like to have a life partner; someone who would love me as much as they loved each other. It might be nice. Before I came to live with Jaunty and Courtley, I'd always thought of Frolic Festivals as boring and stupid. But after seeing how happy they are together, I have to admit that it makes me a little wistful; curious even.
-O-
Not long afterward, I overheard the fateful conversation between my foster dads and the king that irreversibly damaged my trust in them. I moved out to live in my own pod. Unfortunately, I ended up destroying it and nearly killing myself through my own folly. Because of my Incident, I was judged not ready to have a pod of my own, and put with Leafe for the remainder of my trollhood. So I never did have a chance to learn about adult playtime from my dads.
Over the years, my attitude toward frolicking continued to swing back and forth. There were times when I was sure I had no interest in any of it, and other times when I couldn't deny how much it appealed to me. Sometimes I just wondered why I was making such a big deal out of something everyone else had no problem with. All creatures had mating seasons, after all. Trolls were no different.
The real problem, I realized gradually over the years, was how much I hated the idea that the hormones would take over my brain and urge me to make stupid choices. So I did everything I could to not give in to them.
Other trolls tried to reassure me. They said they still made their own choices; that the trolls they partnered with were the same trolls they would have chosen anyway, with or without the hormones. "But how do you know for sure?" I used to ask them. Being told "Because I do," did nothing to help me shake my suspicions.
Leafe started dating Cherry Blossom about six months after I first came to live with him; a good month before the start of the autumn Frolic Festival. So I could rest assured that their love, at least, was real. It gave me great peace of mind to know that. I liked the pretty pink-haired, ruby-red troll. She was smart and kind of low-key compared to most trolls, which I found soothing. She did like to tease me, in her own quiet way, but I found that I didn't mind. Not many trolls liked to interact with me.
Not that I could blame them. Even when I wasn't complaining, arguing, or panicking over some issue, I just wasn't a fun troll to be around. I avoided looking into mirrors, because I didn't like looking at the scowling gray troll who stared back at me.
As I got older, Leafe sometimes tried to talk to me about relationships, but I did my best to avoid those types of conversations as much as possible. Due to my reluctance, Leafe asked me once if I thought I might be ace. There were a few ace trolls in the village, he explained carefully, who loved attention and affection just like everybody else. They simply didn't have much of a desire for other trolls' bodies. Usually. Although during Frolic Festival season, when the mating hormones were surging, that could change temporarily.
Leafe sometimes called Frolic Festival season "mating season", just like I did. I liked him for that. Even so, there were times I wasn't sure what to make of him, especially at first. He had a habit of unintentionally embarrassing me worse than those trolls who teased me on purpose!
And this was a particularly embarrassing question! After what felt like hours of stammering and blushing, I managed to admit that I was, in fact, attracted to other trolls. My body definitely reacted when I saw someone I thought was hot. "I know it's normal, but it freaks me out, to be honest. Normal or not, I want to be in control of my body, not the other way around!"
After I confessed this, I expected to be teased or told that I was wrong to be worried, but Leafe merely nodded and filed that information away in his head, along with everything else he managed to get me to tell about myself. Seriously, the troll was a living sponge, absorbing everything he read, saw, or even just heard about. I'd never lived with a troll like him before, but he was a good roommate. He had his own quirks, of course, and some of them annoyed me, but I really appreciated how he accepted my opinions as mine, and didn't try to make me change them. Unless he thought I was missing information that might change my opinion.
For example, when I expressed scorn about "those silly love-fests", Leafe told me that Frolic Festivals weren't just about having pointless fun. "They serve more than one purpose, Branchkin. They're a way for many trolls to work up the courage to approach someone they're interested in. Although one can confess at any time," he explained, "It's a long-standing custom to declare your interest in another troll during Frolic Festival seasons. Many trolls feel free to indulge in friendly flings at that time. If love and marriage result, that's fine, but if not; also fine. It will simply add to their list of pleasant life experiences."
"I guess that makes sense…" I said slowly, musing aloud. "But I'm still not sure if I want to waste my time on a bunch of relationships that will probably go nowhere." Even though I understood that there was no sure way to find a life partner without actually spending time with people.
At least, that was the idea. I hadn't indulged yet, although at thirteen, it was expected that trolls around my age would naturally begin to be interested in trying out this new adult game. Especially once the mating-season passions started affecting us. We were often encouraged to ask the kinds of questions that made me freak out and start looking for – and using - the nearest escape route.
As I'd told Leafe, I had already inadvertently found myself fascinated by a few trolls. I hadn't acted on my new urges, of course - I was suspicious of these new feelings and resentful at having limited control of how my body responded when a hot troll walked by. I'd managed to figure out that thinking really hard about horrors like the bergens or distracting myself with schoolwork made the sensations and swelling down below subside; or at least, kept my mind off what was happening to me.
I was slowly getting used to it, though. It helped that seventeen-year-old Leafe was so understanding of what I was going through.
Only once had I ever seriously considered the idea of participating in one of the upcoming Frolic Festivals, during a conversation with Leafe when he pointed out that not all relationships ended. "It's not just about frolicking, you know. It's about connecting with others. Many trolls make a lot of good friends through the Festival."
Leafe knew I had very few friends; mainly Laurel and her engineer parents, Savvy and Finetune. "I wouldn't mind a few more friends," I acknowledged. "But you know the other trolls think I'm no fun. And they're right; I'm not. If I make friends with someone, they'll just get bored and stop hanging out with me."
"I'll admit you have unusual interests; but then, so have I. Yet I still managed to find someone I'm compatible with. Cheery and I are friends as well as lovers, Branchkin. We've been together for over a year now, and we haven't tired of each other's company yet. In fact, I love her more every day."
I would never admit it, of course, but I was glad to hear that. Although I had objected to her presence in our lives for a long time, she was like a big sister to me now.
But ultimately, the truth was that the idea of becoming emotionally dependent on another person filled me with uneasiness. Even though I could see how happy being in love made the two of them, I couldn't help feeling like they were making some kind of dangerous mistake. So I muttered something about not wanting to get involved with anyone right now.
"Oh, I wasn't advocating that course of action just yet, Branchkin. I'm just trying to give you some perspective, so you'll keep an open mind when you finally do meet someone you want to be with, that's all." He gave me a reassuring smile. "You may be big for your age, but nobody is expecting you to become an adult overnight. Why, some trolls aren't ready for a serious relationship for another decade or more. Cheery and I just happen to be an anomaly, that's all."
He looked thoughtful, then snapped his fingers. "I know; maybe you could look to Aspen Heights as a role model. He's very popular."
I smiled wryly, picturing the suave, dashing male; the only troll to ever best Jaunty in a buzz ball tournament. "Yeah, I know. Especially during the MerryDally months."
Leafe chuckled warmly. "He definitely knows how to enjoy life to the fullest, especially then."
My smiled faded. I knew from my foster dads that Aspen had never had a permanent life partner, despite being thirty-six years old now. So, frequent frolicking didn't automatically result in relationships.
My temper soured and I shook my head dismissively, crossing my arms and wrinkling my nose in distaste. "I don't know, Leafe. It just seems to me that aside from making trollings, frolicking so much is just a waste of time and energy that could be used for something more important."
My roommate looked surprised, blinking big teal-blue eyes behind his large round eyeglasses, but he didn't get offended by my indirect insult. It was one of the things I appreciated most about him, even though I never told him that back then. "Well, I'm sorry to disagree with you, but mating season aside, frolicking is good for you, Branchkin," he explained sincerely. "It's fun, and healthy, too. It's also a terrific way to de-stress."
"De-stress?" I was always surprised when another troll admitted to feeling stressed out. I knew I had a problem keeping my cool compared to, well, everyone. Was there actually a good use for frolicking?
For the first time, I felt a flicker of real curiosity. I uncrossed my arms. "Really?"
Leafe looked encouraged at my question. It was the first time I'd showed any interest in the subject. "Why, yes. I always feel more relaxed afterward. I sleep better, too. It's great exercise."
"Exercise, huh?" Memories of my time with Jaunty and Courtley passed through my mind, and how they'd always said that a healthy amount of exercise was how you worked off tension. I knew they had a lot of adult playtime together when I wasn't around - or asleep, probably, back in the days when I used to sleep deeply and well.
I had always admired how mellow my foster dads were, but it had never occurred to me that part of the reason for that could be due to this particular type of exercise. Maybe frolicking had its uses after all.
Testing out the idea, I said aloud, "Then maybe…maybe at the next Frolic Festival, I might look into it. See what it's like."
"If you feel like you're ready, I think you'd enjoy it, Branchkin. You're so athletic. I'm sure you and your partner would have a lot of fun."
I didn't mind the idea of fun when it accomplished useful goals, like how playing sports helped keep you in shape so you could escape when danger threatened. Maybe I could just think of frolicking under the same heading as sports. That way, it wasn't so intimidating.
But then Leafe quashed my budding interest by adding, "It's also a great way to learn how to appreciate emotional intimacy with another troll. Getting close to them, sharing your feelings-"
I immediately shut down. "Then forget it."
Leafe looked surprised. "Are you sure? I could ask around and see who'd be interested in going over the basics with you. Do you have a preference as to a male or female frolic partner?"
Even to me, sometimes Leafe was too nerdy for words. I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Yeah, no. Thanks, but I'll pass."
Besides, I told myself later, even if I did indulge, I'm sure I'd just be going through the motions, and that neither I nor my partner would enjoy it. Or worse, what if for some reason my partner fell for me? The last thing I need is some lovesick troll pestering me for affection and being disgustingly clingy. Hug Time is hard enough to put up with as it is.
A quiet thought in the back of my mind whispered, Worst of all, what if I fell for my partner – and they didn't love me back? Why would they? I'm the least lovable troll in the entire village. I don't even know how Leafe and Cheery put up with me…
-O-
I knew now that I truly I hadn't been ready for a relationship back then, on a number of levels. I'd needed to do a lot of work on myself to change some pretty toxic attitudes about relationships and frolicking, about other trolls, and about myself.
I still wasn't where I wanted to be, but I was getting there. I was a lot better at seeing a true reflection of myself in the mirror these days. I saw my smiles as well as my frowns; my many good points as well as my bad ones. I'd done work on some of my worst flaws, like making an effort to be more tolerant of things I'd once seen as "wastes of time and energy".
Some of the happiest times in my life in the past six months since I'd gotten my colors back had been spent doing "useless" stuff like singing, dancing, and hugging. Playing games, exploring the forest, or building something purely for fun with Poppy and my friends. For that matter, even the poetry I was so fond of could be considered useless. But it was something I valued, something that had deep meaning for me.
And now there was something else I wanted to build. Cherry Blossom had been right yesterday when she told me I was ready for a relationship. I didn't have more than a mental blueprint yet, but with Poppy's help, my girlfriend and I would work it out. Together.
It comforted me to be reminded that I could go to my friends with questions, though. I glanced at Cherry Blossom, and the ruby-red troll smiled warmly at me. I remembered yesterday's conversation. Me impulsively asking her how long she and Leafe had waited before they became intimate for the first time. I'd never asked someone a question like that before. And while that conversation had been awkward and embarrassing, it had also been enlightening. Her open attitude, so much like Leafe's, had been exactly what I'd needed to help ease my anxiety about such a sensitive subject.
Cherry Blossom really was like a big sister to me, and I was truly grateful for her help. If we hadn't had that conversation, things might have turned out a lot different last night. Cherry Blossom had given me the confidence I'd needed to reach out to Poppy when she needed me most. To openly show my girlfriend more love and affection than I ever had. If not for our talk, Poppy and I might never have kissed, or spent the night lovingly cuddling one another in my bed. And once I'd experienced it all, I'd realized it had felt a lot more natural than I'd expected, which helped ease my fears even more.
So did I want to talk about frolicking with my friends? Did I need to?
They were all waiting for my answer. I glanced at Poppy, smiling a little as I answered Leafe. "No; no questions. Not right now, anyway. I have the feeling we'll be able to figure it out just fine."
Poppy beamed at me, her face so full of love I felt a little lightheaded. She was surely the most beautiful troll in the entire world. Like Leafe and his "flower", I felt so lucky to be with my Sunshine.
"Well, if you want to chat, about anything at all, come see us any time," Cherry Blossom offered.
"Oh, I will," I said sincerely. "I mean it. I definitely will."
"Me, too," said Poppy. "I'm sure I'll have lots of questions."
They laughed, and Poppy did, too. So did I, as I reached out to put an affectionate hand on each of their shoulders. They both stepped in to put their arms around me. I felt Poppy join in and smiled contentedly, sinking deep into the warmth around me. This is what it feels like to be loved; to have a family. For once, I was in no hurry to escape a group hug.
When we finally moved away from one another, I said, "I want to thank you both, for being there for me. Now…and back then, too. And Cheery, you really helped me sort some stuff out yesterday. This whole 'relationship' thing doesn't seem like such an impossible problem anymore."
"A problem, eh? Well now, you know what to do with problems, Branch." Leafe raised a playful eyebrow at me.
Automatically I replied, "Break them down into smaller, more easily solved problems."
"Correct, little one! You get a gold star," Leafe joked, reaching into his hair and pulling out a shiny sticker, which he stuck on my cheek.
Poppy giggled as I stood there, trying and failing to see the star around the curve of my broad cheek. I'd forgotten that annoying habit of his. "Leafe," I scolded. "I'm not a little trolling anymore."
"We all need to be recognized for trying, no matter how old we get." Leafe's voice was jovial, but his eyes got that misty look again as he added softly, "Especially you, Branchkin. You deserve a little recognition for everything you've accomplished." Cheery Blossom nodded, and so did Poppy.
I stared at them all, and suddenly had to turn away, blinking back tears as my own eyes got misty. Once upon a time, the only one to ever praise me for my efforts was me. Sometimes Poppy; but mostly, I was on my own. Unseen, unrecognized, unloved. Alone.
Maybe it had felt like that, but now I wondered, how much of that feeling of isolation had come from my own mind? How much was real, and how much imagined? How much of it had really been the result of me rejecting them?
I could see now that Leafe hadn't forgotten about me. He still saw the boy he'd cared for all those years ago; deeply hurt, lonely, and bewildered at the shambles of his life. So overwhelmed by his pain that it had taken months of patience on Leafe's part for the trolling to come out of his depression.
I've lived with Leafe for three years; a year longer than I'd lived with my foster dads. I recalled the many hours of his earnest, caring tutoring, especially those first few months while I was recovering from my Incident. I hadn't realized it at the time, but being in his calm, steady presence had made me feel safe again. He'd settled down my uneasiness at being in yet another new home, and helped me heal from the raw, aching loss of my dads. He was more than just the roommate King Peppy had stuck me with. He was more than a friend. He was a brother.
I had a brother and a sister. I even had a girlfriend I probably wouldn't have had if not for the example they'd set. How loving and patient they'd always been; with me, and with each other. I'd wanted that for myself someday. And now I finally had it.
"Thank you," I said gratefully, hardly able to express all the many, many things I wanted to thank them for. "Both of you. Thank you for…everything."
Their faces lit up. Beaming at me, Leafe replied, "I'm glad I could help. And I thank you for teaching me what I needed to know to save Poppy, and for giving me your support yesterday, when I needed it most."
"Yes, thank you for that, Branch, and for the puzzle ball, too," Cherry Blossom added, patting her husband's arm. He took her hand in his as they beamed at one another, and then at me. "You have excellent taste in gifts – and impeccable timing. Your gift kept us all too occupied to worry, just as you said it would."
They were making a bigger deal of it than they ought to, I thought. But then, I suppose the Branchkin they once knew wouldn't have known how to be so supportive. Poppy's helped me with that. Which reminds me… "Well, thank you for saving Poppy's life."
"Yes; thank you again, Leafe," Poppy chimed in. "And thank you, Cherry Blossom, for helping Branch, and offering-"
This is gonna go on all day at this rate! I threw my hands up in the air. "Okay, we got it. Everybody thanks everybody else for everything. Now, let's move things along, people. We've got to get Cleanup Day started, okay?"
The two of them blinked at me in unison. Leafe said, "Oh, haven't you heard? It's already under way."
"What?" I said sharply.
Leafe pointed out the open pod flap at the wandering trolls down below; whose wandering, I now noted, was not as random as I'd thought. "After what happened yesterday, King Peppy decided to start Cleanup Day an hour early, and asked for extra help. Pretty much the entire village volunteered. We were supposed to begin at eight o'clock, but Cheery and I had a few last issues to take care of, so we're a bit late-" Leafe started to explain, but I interrupted him impatiently.
"Oh, Poppy, I knew we should have gotten up earlier!" I groaned. "So much for not being late!" I gave her a fierce scowl worthy of my Gray Branch days.
All she could do was shrug and give me a sheepish smile. "Sorry."
I let out an annoyed tch and stalked toward the door. I needed to find the king. Behind me I heard Poppy saying our goodbyes.
"Oh wait, Branch." Cherry Blossom called. "Remember, the next Frolic Festival season starts in five weeks. If you feel ready to try it by then, don't forget to-"
"-eat your heartflower berries," all four of us chorused automatically.
Poppy laughed and skipped up beside me. She patted the star sticker on my cheek and gave me a sly look as if to say, If I have it my way, we'll be frolicking way sooner than that.
Annoyed though I was, I still couldn't help but blush and grin goofily back at her.
Author's Note:
Merry-making and Dally-dance, the Frolic Festival AKA mating season months, have a lot of nicknames. Popular nicknames include Dalliance, or DallyMonth, MerryMonth, and the MerryDally months, among others.
Fun Fact: Making love boosts your immune system, and reduces stress hormones like cortisol. Cortisol can mess with your immune system; so, technically speaking, (safe) sex actually does keep you healthier.
