July 1916
As soon as Henry arrived back in Hope Valley, the citizens around him noticed how he seemed to carry himself like a wounded puppy returning from his trip. They wondered if perhaps it had something to do with his son. No one really knew. No one really asked.
He went about his business as he usually had, coming back to the reality that his glimpse of having friends or a family at Abigail's childhood home was just that, a glimpse. He continued his work at the oil company and kept to himself as usual. Jesse, Lee, or Carson soon attempted to approach him and ask how his trip went, but Henry would deny their company and tell them that he was either too busy to talk about it or that it wasn't important enough to discuss.
He hadn't realized just how much people had begun to pay attention to him or his well being since he arrived until Rosemary eventually marched her way over to Gowen Petroleum, stepping inside without so much as a knock.
"Henry Gowen." She said sternly, standing across from his desk with her fists on her hips.
His eyes slowly looked up at her from the book he had been trying to feel interested in. "Rosemary…Can I help you?" He forced a smile.
"What on earth happened to you?"
"Happened to me?" He wondered aloud.
"Yes. On your trip to see your son."
Henry closed his book and set it down on his desk. "May I ask why you are interested?"
"No. You may not." The actress told him. "You were gone for quite a while, longer than Jesse says you were supposed to be gone for, and he was worried about you. WE were worried about you." She paused, expecting him to respond to her, but when he didn't, she continued. "You didn't even notify Lucas how long you'd be gone for and he almost called the authorities to find out if you had gone and run off with his cut of the money from Gowen Petroleum."
"That does sound like something I would do." He said with a hint of defeat in his tone though his expression never waned from the look of confidence.
"And we-" Rosemary stopped what she was going to say as she processed the words that came out of Henry's mouth. She furrowed her brows in confusion and looked at the man as if trying to read him. "It took Elizabeth, Jesse, Lee, myself, and even Carson to convince him to give you some more time to return before he could do anything rash."
"And why would you all do that?" He asked her.
"Because, Henry….believe it or not…some of us have gained some faith in you." She told him with a kind smile.
"Perhaps we should blame Abigail for that." He said, more to himself than to Rosemary.
"Or you." The blonde countered. "For patching things up with your son….for returning with Becky that Christmas…for ultimately trying to be a good man. We see potential in you, Henry. And you shouldn't have to deal with the trials in your health alone."
"Oh, I see." Henry nodded. There it was. The REAL reason she was being nice to him. He stood up from his chair behind his desk and slowly walked around it as he spoke to her. "You didn't come here to show me friendly support or ask about my trip. You came to pity the lonely man in town who may be ill. How much did Carson tell you about my debacle?" He asked her, making his way to the door and opening it, holding it for her as if to tell her to leave. "Not too much, clearly, otherwise you would know that pitying me is not worth it. I am not dying. I just have a lot of stress in the business and he really shouldn't be sharing my diagnoses with other people."
"Henry, it's nothing like th-"
"Get out." He said softly. "I don't need your pity or anyone else's."
Rosemary stood still for a moment, her stubborn nature telling her to stay put, though her eyes could see the way Henry stood his ground at the door, waiting for her to leave. With a frustrated sigh and a huff, she walked by him and out onto the first step. Once her foot hit the second step down, she stopped and turned around to say something to him but the door shut immediately before she could speak.
The second after he closed the door, Henry felt one of his dizzy spells coming on and he quickly placed a hand on his desk to keep his balance before he made his way to the chair and he sunk down into it, taking a few deep breaths. It had been a while since he'd had a spell, since before he left for his trip actually, he had noticed. And in fact, he had felt his healthiest while in Fulton Hills with Abigail and her family.
He admitted to himself that he wanted to return and attempted to write Abigail so many more letters. But they all wound up in the trash or on the floor beside the trash and he'd focus on his work again.
August 1916
It was about a month later when things about the mining accident came up again around town and one of Henry's letters to the Pacific Northwest Mining Company had come to light. The town now knew the truth. Henry HAD tried to close down the mine. He wasn't one of the bad eggs in the situation after all. People were confused and the widows couldn't understand why this letter hadn't come up during the trial against Noah Stanton.
It wasn't long before it was found out that the mining company had it buried to take Henry down had their plan to blame Noah failed. And it worked. Henry had been the most hated man in town for nearly a decade, and for what?
Some widows tried to apologize to him while Elizabeth did her best to befriend him, though he didn't feel worthy of any of it.
The town seemed to have stepped into the past for weeks, the mine being the only topic of conversation yet again and Henry could not stand any of it. Though he was no longer receiving looks of judgment or ridicule…he was now receiving looks of pity and sorrow and he much preferred the latter. In all honesty, he wanted everyone to just forget about the mine altogether, but even nearly seven years later, that seemed entirely impossible.
One day, he was in his office at Gowen Petroleum, looking over the ledger when he heard a bit of a commotion outside. His mind felt interested and curious as to what was happening, but he did not move. He ignored it and kept to his work until lunch, which was about two or three hours after the commotion had died down.
He straightened out the papers on his desk before standing and putting his hat on followed by his gray suit jacket. Grabbing his office key, he left the building and locked the door behind him before heading over toward the saloon to grab lunch. He hadn't been to Abigail's Cafe since he returned from Fulton Hills, but as he approached the saloon, he could see what he thought was the cause of the commotion earlier.
There was a 'closed until further notice' sign up on it and he sighed, looking around to see if there was anyone he could ask about the sign, but there were not many people nearby. Confused, he looked to see if they were at the mercantile, but alas, the mercantile seemed close to empty as well.
Soon his eyes fell to Abigail's Cafe and he could see that some people were spilling out of it, the building clearly overfilled with a larger capacity than it could handle. He wondered what was happening, but dared not move closer to the cafe as it made him think of Abigail too much and just made him angry with himself for screwing up everything. He ignored his curious thoughts and headed to the mercantile to just buy himself some cheese, bread, and maybe an apple that he would eat for a small lunch instead. He wasn't that hungry anyways.
He had made it halfway to the mercantile across the street when he was intercepted by some children running passed him followed by Elizabeth who also seemed in a bit of a hurry, almost bumping into Henry. "Oh! Henry, my apologies! The children are just a bit excited." She chuckled, a little out of breath.
"No worries, Elizabeth." He told her, still feeling a bit odd to be on a first name basis with her now.
"Were you headed for the cafe as well?" She asked him with a smile that seemed hopeful.
"Oh. No. I was going to the-"
"Really? Of all people, I would have expected you there first." She told him.
"Why is that?"
"Did nobody tell you?" She placed a hand on his arm.
"Tell me what?"
"Oh! Laura ran right to the school to tell us. All of the children were so excited that they left without my permission." She chuckled again. "Abigail, Cody, and Becky are here." She smiled brightly. "Come on. I am sure she would love to see you." Elizabeth tried to pull Henry toward the cafe with her, but he did not budge. She looked at him and her smile faded a bit. "What's wrong?"
"I doubt she wants to see me right now." He said to her before looking back at the full cafe. "And it looks like she already has a lot of people to greet now. Good day, Elizabeth." He tipped his hat to her and went to the mercantile to get himself something light to eat.
"Hello, Henry." Her voice sounded like music to his ears as he looked up at Abigail, standing in the doorway of Gowen Petroleum about two hours later. "Elizabeth and Rosemary said I would find you here." She closed the door behind her and stepped further into the building to stand across from his desk. "They tell me that you are buried in your work more than ever these days. That would explain why I haven't heard from you."
"Hello, Abigail." He told her as he stood up from his desk. "I tried to write you…but I never knew what to say."
"How about 'I am sorry for the way I left?'" She suggested to him. "Or just a simple 'how are you?'"
"How are you?" He asked her. "How is your mother?"
"She hasn't fully recovered yet. But my brother, Patrick, arrived in Fulton Hills a few days ago and Cody missed his friends, so I told him we could come to Hope Valley for a quick visit until Patrick needs to return to work."
"A quick visit?" Henry asked her. "You almost say it like this isn't your home anymore."
"Come now, Henry, don't place words into my mouth." She told him gently, though the look in her eyes suggested she didn't feel quite so gentle toward him.
"You are angry with me." He said, matter-of-factly.
"Yes." She answered simply. "But that is a conversation we can have later tonight. That is, if you aren't too busy."
"How long are you staying?" He asked her, placing his hands in his pockets.
"No more than a week. But I would like it if I didn't have to spend my time here feeling cross toward you." She admitted. "I am going to visit your house tonight after dinner so we can discuss things further."
"I don't think that's really necessary." Henry shook his head a bit.
"I don't think you have much of a choice." Abigail countered before turning around to leave.
"Any idea what's going on at the saloon?" He asked her before she opened the door.
She looked back at him over her shoulder. "The government is placing a prohibition on alcohol in this province. Though I am certain that will not hold Lucas Bouchard down for very long. That man does not know what it means to follow the law….Goodbye, Henry." She left before Henry could say anything else.
He spent the next half an hour struggling to focus on his work before his eyes fell to the trash bin beside his desk and he had a quick idea.
Later on that night, Henry was sitting in front of the fireplace in his mansion, reading a book. Well, attempting to read. He would make it passed a few sentences before he would realize that he hadn't retained a single drop of information from the words his eyes grazed by and he would try to read the same three sentences again. His mind was too locked on Abigail's presence to focus on anything. He had hardly eaten his dinner, his nerves too flustered to remind him that he was running on an half-empty stomach.
After a bit, he gave up on reading and set his book down on the coffee table between him and the fireplace and he stared into the flames. His anticipation of the conversation that was going to be had once Abigail arrived actually frightened him a bit. He hated knowing all day that she was angry with him. He hated knowing that he left her the way that he did in Fulton Hills. And he hated knowing that her father must think so little of him now.
He sat forward on the sofa to straighten out the wrinkled papers he had lying on the coffee table beside his book before the doorbell finally rang and he looked up at the wall and gulped. His heart pounded as he stood and walked to the door to answer it.
Abigail stood before him on his stoop in a baby blue blouse covered with a forest-green tank-cut dress. The dress straps were about four fingers in length thick and the dress accentuated Abigail's curves. The skirt of the dress met the tops of her ankles and Henry made note of the light gray pumps she wore on her feet. After looking her up and down in that dress, he looked back up to see that she had a high lace collar from the baby blue blouse that she wore under the dress and it was accented with a thin black ribbon tied into a bow as if to resemble a choker necklace over the blouse's collar. Her hair was half up, half down and Henry quietly stepped aside to allow the woman to enter his home before he closed the door.
She freely made her way into his living room without having to be guided there and she took a seat on his sofa. He followed her and stopped behind his armchair to the right of the couch and held the back of it as they just stayed still, looking at each other for a moment.
Abigail's body was slightly turned to the right so she could see him head on without needing to keep her head turned as she finally spoke to him. "How have you been?"
"Oh, just fine." He told her, trying to sound genuine.
"Do not lie to me, Henry." She said softly. "Carson and Elizabeth told me about your condition."
"My condition?" He cringed at the terminology and walked around to the front of the armchair to sit in it, almost slouching a little. "I wouldn't call it a condition."
"They told me you have been sick since I left four months ago, Henry. Why didn't you tell me in Fulton Hills?"
The concern in her voice confused him since he knew she was also angry with him, but now he wondered if THIS was the reason she was angry. "You were busy taking care of your mother. I figured you didn't need to know about this too. It's just High Blood Pressure. It's really no big deal."
"No big deal? Henry, I've been told you have had several fainting spells and a few falls because of this. You have needed to see Carson three times and he discussed with you the dangers this could have on your heart and other parts of your body that will lead to worse conditions down the road. I understand that you were trying to protect my feelings in some way, but you need to protect your health just as well." She informed him. "If you don't…worse things can happen."
"I have been through worse."
"Well, I can't lose you!" She unintentionally scolded him before taking a breath. "I don't want to lose a friend, too." She said in a softer tone. "My mother may be slowly recovering, but the doctors think she may never walk again. We are trying to figure out what we are going to do if that happens. Daddy cannot take care of the farm AND the housework all on his own. Either they will need to move in with one of us kids or one of us kids will need to move in with them permanently to help out. And I know my parents….they are not going to want to leave their house. Nor the farm. At this point, it is beginning to look like Cody, Rebecca, and I might need to move to Fulton Hills for good. Though I am hesitant to do that to Cody. He has moved around enough trying to get Becky back to health whilst they were orphaned and it is so good for them to have a permanent home. They finally began to settle in here. But at this point, we don't know what is going to happen."
"Well, if that is true, then why are you so worried about me? You won't be here anyway." Henry told her with frustration and pain in his tone.
"That is not fair. Just because I am not here does not mean that I don't want you to be healthy and alive." She sighed. "The others told me about the letter to the mining company. Why didn't you ever tell me that you tried to put a stop to the work done there?"
"Because it wasn't important." He looked at the fireplace to his right.
"Yes, it was. And it sure as Hell would have been important to me to know that you WERE looking out for my husband and my son. You let us all believe that you didn't care. Why would you do that?"
His head snapped back to her. "Would you have even believed me if I told you the truth?" Abigail didn't have much time to answer before Henry continued. "Chances are that NONE of you would have. I was seen as some monster for years and rather than wasting my energy on trying to convince all of you the opposite, I put my time and money into keeping myself afloat. Into keeping my house. Into making sure I didn't end up on the street again like when I was a kid. But it didn't matter. No matter what I did or said, every one of you looked at me like I was the one who blew up that mine with my own bare hands. And I grew tired. So I gave up. And I truly became the scum that you all thought I was. That your father thinks I am."
"Henry, my father doesn't think you are scum." She said with more compassion in her tone now. "None of us do. You made mistakes. We all have. And had you not left Fulton Hills without speaking to me first…you would have learned that my father forgave you right away. I explained the situation to him and let him know how much you have changed and how much you have helped me with the cafe and with my job as the mayor…with Becky and even with Cody when you asked Bill to stay an extra night to find out if he was okay when he had Appendicitis. My father thought you were honorable to have turned yourself in when Ray Wyatt and you were caught. He, however, did not feel it was very honorable of you to leave without at least saying goodbye." She softly sighed. "There has been such a hold on us from the very beginning, Henry, and a part of me wishes we could go back and do this all over again. You have done more than enough to deserve everyone's respect in this town and out of it."
"I disagree, Abigail." He told her, continuing to speak without ever looking away from the flames in the fire. "After Beatrice left with Christopher….not only did I accept that I could trust nobody but myself, but I also accepted the fact that I was destined to live alone until the end. That must have been the reason my parents died. The reason that the only real friends that I have are either Poker buddies or business partners. I loved Beatrice, because she made me see myself differently for a short time. She made me believe that maybe I WAS destined to have a family. And when she left, I realized that she and Christopher were just a dream. A dream meant for somebody else. Not me. To this day, I do not know if I was hurt by her leaving me….or just hurt because I was alone again. And admitting that to you is hard enough as it is." He finally turned his head to look at her again. "So why won't you just let me be? Why can't you just let my illness take me if that is what your God wants?"
"Because it is not what I want." She said. "Maybe it is selfish of me…but I want us to have a chance. I want us to be the family that we both deserve."
"You aren't listening to me, Abigail. It is what YOU deserve. Not what I deserve. You deserve a loving husband and great father to your kids and someone to protect you and provide for you. An ACTUAL honorable man. Someone who doesn't have a criminal record. Someone who won't bring down your good name. You deserve someone who knows what it means to love. You deserve to BE loved and I honestly cannot tell if I love you or not. It is all too confusing to me. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me. And THAT…is why we cannot be together, Abigail. You deserve better than me. I want you to be happy and carefree. I don't want you to worry about whether or not I might get arrested again. I don't want you to walk around a town full of people who adore you and who hate your husband. I don't want you to have to question your husband's feelings for you. Do I think that I might love you? Yes. Maybe I do. You are all I think about. You are the last person on this green earth who I want to be hurt. When I think of seeing you cry, I want to lock you away in a safe space. When I think of you being angry with me…my chest hurts. But is that love? I don't have a clue. We cannot be together, Abigail. You deserve someone like Bill or hell, even like Frank. He at least turned to God after everything he did and learned what love was. But come on, Abigail. You have no reason to love me. I am not a good man. I have hurt you more times than anyone should have. I am not special. I am not funny or talented or good with kids. I cannot give you the things that you need aside from money. I am nothing like your father. HE is a good man and you deserve to be loved the way that he loves your mother."
It was silent for a moment as he looked back into the fire and Abigail looked at him in shock. Her heart was pounding and her stomach ached as she listened to his words. They replayed in her head over and over again until she soon, stood up and slowly walked over to crouch down in front of his chair. She took one of his hands in both of hers and looked up into his eyes. "Everything that you just said to me…" Her eyes began to tear up. "...IS love, Henry." She kissed the back of his hand. "And I can teach you more about it. We can teach each other."
He stared into her eyes for a moment before shaking his head slightly. "Why do you THINK you love me?"
"Because despite your struggles with what's right and what's wrong…you have done your very best to do what you believe is right. Even though you try to make everyone else in town think that you don't care and you don't have feelings…I see right through it. If you didn't have feelings, Henry, then you would not become so hurt or angry when you see the way people look at you. Someone who didn't care about that would not even notice. You ARE special because you make an effort. To me, that is worthy of more love than anything. I love the things that you have done for me. I love the things that you have done for others. Allowing Rosemary and Elizabeth to borrow your car to pick up a baby stroller for Little Jack in Buxton before he was born was selfLESS and that is only one thing to name that proves you ARE a good man, Henry. Turning yourself in, returning to town when you could have escaped prison, trying to help save the miners, helping decorate for Christmas feasts, attending the school plays…these are all things that show that you have done more good than you think. And, yes, I have spoken to your Cook and your Housekeepers and even Dottie…they all told me that despite your surly demeanor, you are an incredible man to work for and they were all well compensated financially even when you began to struggle at times. At first, yes, I loved you because of the things you did for ME. But I have done more thinking the past few weeks and I have realized…you do plenty for the others around you. And I think you ARE very funny. You are shy around others. You are strong and you are very intelligent. You're quick on your feet and even when you are angry, you never yell or shout. Which is one of my favorite things about you. I really enjoy seeing you smile and I enjoy the atmosphere in a room when you are there. You are surprisingly soft spoken and you take my breath away every time you look at me. THOSE are the reasons that I love you, Henry. And there is more. I could go on and on. And yet…I hardly know you. If we were together…I could learn so much more that I will love about you and perhaps even fall deep into love with you…if only you would give us a chance." She kissed the back of his hand again, her heart racing at the thought of his anticipated response.
He looked at her for a long time without an answer, his hand turning over in both of hers to squeeze them. His free hand reached down to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear and he leaned forward to gently kiss her lips. Abigail held back a sound that wanted to escape her throat as the nerves in her stomach went wild at the way he kissed her. It lasted a while, soft at first before it grew a bit more intense. She cupped his face with both of her hands before moving up to straddle his lap in the armchair without ever breaking the kiss.
"Abigail, I-" Henry softly whispered between kisses. "I am not good enough for you." There it was. The words he had been wanting to tell her for four months since the dinner they had at Rosemary and Lee's house.
"Oh, Henry. You are." She told him as she began to undo his belt and his trousers and she moved to kiss his cheek before softly speaking directly into his ear. "You are more than enough."
He let out a breath at her words before pulling off her dress and her blouse, leaving her in only her corset and pantaloons. Abigail managed to remove Henry's trousers and underpants followed by his suit vest and button down shirt before kissing him again. His hands roamed her body before he removed her of the rest of her clothes and moved a hand between them to see if she was wet and ready for him. His heart pounded as he felt that she was and he had begun to notice that just talking to her must have made her wet, because she never failed to already be ready for him. He grew hard at that thought and it didn't take long for Abigail to move down on him with a moan, their bodies immediately moving as one. Their kisses roamed each other's bodies and lips as their hands felt each other's warmth and pounding hearts. Henry kissed Abigail's neck as her fingers slithered through his hair with ease before giving it a slight tug as he hit the right spot for her and she moaned his name.
Her movements grew faster and harder as she pulled away to look into his eyes, unintentionally digging her nails into his shoulders. He growled through a moan as he slid a hand down to massage her clit, his eyes never leaving hers as he watched the expression of pleasure on her face. The crackling of the fire mixed with their heavy breathing filled the air of his living room accompanied by a few of their moans and Abigail telling Henry how good the things he did to her felt. Her voice would shake as she spoke, letting him know that she was not lying and the way her muscles would tense around his member caused him to moan with her.
It didn't take long before Abigail's orgasm hit her and she raked her nails up Henry's back with a longer moan. His hands moved to her hips to guide her to keep going so he could cum inside her soon and he did, his forehead falling onto her chest as he came. She held his head there, massaging his hair as they both tried to catch their breaths and she hummed, smiling to herself before she kissed the top of his head. Their warm, sweating bodies stayed together in his chair for what felt like an hour and Abigail continued to kiss his head over and over again before he finally regained the stamina to lift up his head to kiss her on the lips.
She cupped his face again as they kissed, this time it started out more intense until it grew softer and she caressed his cheeks with her thumbs.
"Mmm, you are so loved, Henry." She softly whispered against his lips before he pulled away to look into her eyes and they sparkled. Henry softly smiled at her before kissing her again and his hands lovingly roamed her back.
