Doing a chapter based on one of the funniest and greatest cold openings for the show. I might do the other parts of the episodes later on or for the next couple of chapters.

And who saw the Loud House special Friended? I did and I thought it was a great way to introduce The Casagrande's and their spin-off. I liked Sid's character, she's so full of energy, and it's hard to hate her.

Also just in case anyone was confused, the first chapter was something I made up, there isn't a scene like that in the actual show.

I hope you all enjoy, and I own none of the content.

Episode: Stress Relief Part 1 (Season 5, Episode 14)


Fire Drill

Lincoln was working on his computer, and looking at his notes of clients and how much product they wanted to buy. He was deep in work, and if he would've looked up, he would've saw Dwight suspiciously leave the room with a couple of items.

He then started to heat door handles with a blowtorch, hammering in keys into locks, and placed door stoppers on the other side of the exits.

"Last week, Lincoln and I gave a Fire Safety Talk. And no one paid any attention. It's my own fault for thinking Lincoln's idea for using Power Point was a good idea. Power Point is boring, people learn in lots of different ways. But experience is the best teacher. I would ask Lincoln for help, but his method would do a mock fire drill without any real danger. But we all know real fear helps make people make the best decisions. So it's best to leave him in the dark for this one." He said as he was being interviewed.

He was then back in the main room, but was in a different part of it, he spilled some lighter fluid into a trash can, he then lit a cigarette, took a puff, and threw it into the trash. Which started a small fire.

"Today… smoking is going to save lives." He then threw the can of lighter fluid into the trash, so the fire could grow, walked out, closed the door, and went back to his desk like nothing happened.

Lincoln was working, but stopped for a moment when Dwight said," Does anyone smell anything smoky?"

"Did you bring your Jerky in again?" Angela commented.

Lincoln would've added to that, but, he did smell something burning. He furrowed his brows, and looked up. His eyes widened when he saw smoke coming out of a room.

"HOLY SHMOLY!" He yelped, which caused everyone to look at him in confusion.

Due to Lincoln's seat having his back to Pam, she looked at the direction he was looking at.

"Oh my god. Ah. Oh my god." She said while pointing a trembling hand as she saw what he saw.

"FIRE!" Andy yelled.

"Fire, oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do people?" Dwight said.

"The phones are dead!" Pam said as tried to call 911.

"Oh, how could that happen?" Dwight said as he sent a look to the camera.

"It's out in the hall!" Kevin said.

"No we don't know that, the smoke can be coming from an air duct."

Lincoln got into action, and remembered what to do. He also had a feeling that he would have to get everyone calm, as fast as he could.

Everyone started to move to the main exit, and Michael didn't help by yelling and cursing for everyone to stay calm.

Lincoln whistled loudly, and that got everyone's attention.

"Michael is actually right! We have to stay calm, and do this in an orderly fashion! Check the handle, and if it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway." Lincoln explained.

Michael did just that, and said," What does warm mean?"

Everyone groaned and looks around scared. Lincoln was about to suggest trying another door, but Andy beat him to it, and said the same thing Michael said.

That got everyone to start running towards the hallway and try the other exits. Lincoln was right behind them along with Dwight.

Oscar and Andy tried the last two doors, but it turned out to be both hot.

Lincoln was right behind everyone, and was about to suggest the next course of action, but Michael beat him to it.

"Alright we're trapped! Everyone for himself!"

Lincoln wasn't sure what his boss was thinking, but he tried to defuse the situation by saying "Ok, that is not-"

Lincoln didn't get the chance to finish, due to everyone running towards him, and Kevin basically threw him into a wall like how a football player or Lynn would. He knew he didn't mean to do it, but it still hurt. He ended up hitting his head hard on the wall, slid down, and he saw stars.

"Lincoln, are you alright?" Lincoln heard someone say, and looked up to see it was Jim and Pam hovering over him.

Lincoln groaned and said, "I'm fine. Just give me a minute."

Jim nodded, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Ok, just stay there, we'll figure out a way to get out of here. Pam can you watch him?"

"Yeah I can." She said with a nod.

Lincoln smiled at that, out of everyone in the building, he was closets to those two. Some of it had to do with the fact he helped both of them get together. And also he and Ronnie Anne double dated with them when they went on dates. He had done it before with Clyde and Lynn.

They were older than Lincoln by a couple of years, but they considered him like their little brother.

By that time, Pam helped him to his seat. Lincoln looked around to see everyone basically panicking and in chaos. One thing he saw was that Oscar got the idea to climb into the ceiling, Angela somehow had a cat with her, and threw it into the ceiling, and then comes crashing down a second later. It would've been funny, if it wasn't for the situation.

He also heard Dwight was talking calmly. Which made sense, considering him and Dwight knew about Fire Safety.

Lincoln himself wasn't called 'man with the plan' for nothing. He had to find a way to get everyone and himself out, even though his head was throbbing.

Pam was still hovering next to Lincoln, she was getting increasingly worried and said," What do we do?"

"Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision making!" Dwight said.

Well, he wasn't wrong.

"Ok, we are not dying here." Jim said nearby.

Next thing Lincoln knew, he then heard something popping, and it sounded like fireworks.

"The fire's shooting at us!" Andy yelled.

'How in the heck does that make sense?" Lincoln thought.

Things start to get more hectic, due to someone finally pulling the fire alarm. A pair of legs broke through the ceiling and dangled, which had to be Oscars. And now Jim and Andy got the idea to use a copying machine as a battering ram to try to break down a door.

Lincoln soon got up, but Pam forced him back down to sit.

"Just stay and sit down, you might have a concussion." She said.

Lincoln rolled his eyes and said," Sure thing mom."

Pam smacked his shoulder lightly and said," You know what I mean, Loud."

Soon an ear splitting sound that sounded like a air-horn blared, combine that with the fire alarm, it didn't help with Lincoln's headache.

It turned out to be an air horn Dwight had, and that got everyone to stop what they were doing.

"Attention! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation." Dwight announced.

Wait, what?

"What?" Jim said in complete disbelief.

"Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise." Dwight explained.

Lincoln always had a feeling that there was something wrong with Dwight. But now he knew there was something wrong with him. What kind of an idiot would do a mock drill with real danger?

He didn't know whether to be relieved or angry.

He chose concern when Stanley fell to the ground. Due to an apparent Heart Attack.

Lincoln felt fear, because Stanley was the one who helped him get his job. Or he had Clyde to thank for by asking Stanley to do so. This was due to the fact Stanley was Clyde's uncle.

And he wasn't going to let a relative of his best friend die on his watch.

Luckily for him, although not for Stanley, Michael was trying to help him in his own way, and that made Pam and the others try to stop him.

That gave Lincoln the chance to get up. Unfortunately, he did it too fast, and felt slight nausea. And he had to support himself on a desk.

"Sometimes I wonder why I stay here." Lincoln mumbled.


As you can see, I got some stuff set up for future chapters.

Till next time.