chapter 5: crossroads
'cause every time i'm with you, i go into a zone
and i remember all the places you wanna go
Leah's tears soaked the back of Rebecca's t-shirt as she clutched her friend tightly. For the first time all summer, she couldn't blame her teary eyes on the smoke from the bonfire.
"I'm gonna miss you so much, dude," she cried, her voice cracking. "You have no idea."
"Back at ya," Rebecca replied. "Try not to miss me too much, okay?"
Leah broke away to hit her with a dubious expression. "Yeah, right." She sniffed and wiped her tears away only for them to keep leaking like a shitty faucet. "Damn, why do you gotta move all the way to Hawaii?"
They both already knew the answer.
Like something out of a movie, Beck and Solomon had fallen in love over the summer as quickly and as effortlessly as they'd met back at the Newtons' house party last May. The couple spent the entire season attached at the hip, much to Rachel's annoyance, which she made clear. But over the summer, Beck had made her feelings clear too: When you know, you know. (Leah didn't think her friend knew that much, but she still supported her.)
Their relationship beat all the hype. Solomon had proven himself to be cool enough for Beck—cultured, a great dancer, and possessing a good enough sense of humor to keep up with her and still not be funnier than her—but, based on how Rebecca gushed about him to the other girls in his rare absences, he easily could have been God.
Leah sometimes wondered if her friend had been lured into a surfer cult, where they didn't know anything but flip-flops, surfwax, high tides, and vibes. Rebecca had spent the summer after her graduation frequenting surf spots from First Beach all the way down to Rockaway Beach in Oregon, loyally following Sol and the other members of their cult.
One Thursday night in July, as Rebecca prepared to leave the group before they could even get the bonfire going, she attributed it to needing to go with Sol to a surf competition the next morning.
Leah accused her of being a groupie for it, but Beck merely denied it. "You wouldn't get it," she'd dismissed Leah as she slipped on her sandals and gathered up her beach blanket and Polaroid camera. "I'm his good luck charm. He needs me."
"You're such a good wife," Leah teased her. "You two are all but shacking up at this point."
"You can't be a wife and shack up at the same time. Either way, it is not that serious," Rebecca snickered.
Then she'd departed for the whole weekend and Monday too.
Cult or not, Leah also wondered when the shiny newness of Solomon's appeal would dull for Rebecca, but she couldn't lie to herself and say she hadn't expected Beck to jump at the opportunity to fall in love. Solomon being not just attractive but cool in every sense of the word in addition to hailing from a place as dreamy and distant as Oahu made it easier. He'd proven himself to be a walking fantasy that she'd wanted to dive deep into from the moment he'd laid eyes on him at the Newtons' house, and he wanted her just as bad.
Since 1999, Beck had made it her life objective to move somewhere hot, sunny, and far away from La Push once she turned eighteen and graduated from high school. It only made sense for her to make her escape to paradise with her buff, tattooed, surfer boyfriend. He'd spent nearly every waking moment this summer becoming more enamored with her while she'd done the same. Leah had watched it in real time.
Billy did not approve of their decision, and he made it a point to let everybody know his opinion at every possible free moment despite still begrudgingly accepting it. He and Sol had gotten along all summer up until Beck had informed him of the move, but Billy finally stopped arguing with Rebecca over her future. All the bickering had no purpose once she'd bought her one-way ticket.
Rebecca had run a hell of a risk, but it all worked out. (Thank god.) And all of these risky moves had culminated tonight: the first Saturday night in August and her last night on the rez forever.
The bonfire crackled beside Leah in the smoky nighttime air, and she finally let go of Rebecca so the others could get a chance to say a final goodbye to her too. She plopped down on one of the driftwood benches, feeling a little lightheaded. Sam had wrapped his arm around her before she could even feel cold, though. She embraced his touch—all of this would've been ten times harder to get through without him here.
The girls had actually said their real, honest-to-god goodbyes last night at their final sleepover hosted by the twins, during their millionth viewing of Bring It On, one of Beck's favorite movies. Leah hadn't watched the film since it first hit Blockbuster on VHS, but she, Emily, and the twins had cried like babies last night with a runny nose, puffy red eyes, and everything else once the credits started rolling. Since she'd already done all her ugly-crying already, it didn't feel so embarrassing now to cry like a normal person in public.
The usual bonfire crew had come out to First Beach tonight: the twins, Andy, Leah, Sam, Emily, and Joseph. They had gotten together on a weekly basis, making time whenever their schedules lined up since school had gotten out for the summer. Solomon had been adopted into the crew too, but tonight, he and Beck separated so he could hang out at Billy's house, packing up the rest of Beck's stuff and still making an effort to get on the old man's good side. He had to pay his dues since he held (partial) responsibility for her moving away forever. He had to get Billy's blessing somehow.
"When are you guys gonna head down to SeaTac again?" Leah asked as nonchalantly as she could while watching Rebecca and Emily hug each other. She'd asked the same question a month ago when the move had officially been announced, and then a week ago, and again two nights ago, but reality hadn't settled in until now. She couldn't ignore it anymore.
"Sol's auntie is taking us at four in the morning," the twin reminded her.
"Still too early for all of us to be cramming in her minivan," Rachel grumbled.
"Don't be like that, sissy. You know you'll be crying like a baby right there at the gate with Dad and Jake," Rebecca told her sister before looking back to Leah. "Then our flight to Honolulu boards at eleven." She gave Emily one last squeeze.
"Good luck, Beck," Emily said. "I heard airport security's insane."
"Oh, trust me, I'm prepared," Rebecca assured her. "No knives, no bombs, and definitely no liquids."
Over the exchange of s'mores and memories accompanied by side-splitting laughter, the group remained at First Beach until the bonfire burned out with only smoke, laughter, and bittersweet memories remaining. Leah had kept a disposable camera this summer to capture moments like these, but she ran out of film tonight in the wake of all the precious moments she felt compelled to put on record, having reached her maximum of twenty-seven photos.
By the end of the night, Leah didn't want to leave—Sam had to practically drag her away from the beach, long after midnight. She had never anticipated saying goodbye to Rebecca for the last time to be easy, and it didn't get any easier as the minutes passed and everybody began to finally head home. But, with salty tears stinging her eyes and Sam's consolatory embrace, she knew she'd be probably okay with all of this someday. She knew she'd eventually forgive Rebecca for leaving her in shambles like this, for breaking up their successful girl group in favor of a solo venture to Hawaii, fueled by grief. Leah definitely wouldn't feel better about it tomorrow, or the day after that, or maybe not even this time next week, but someday.
It was all she could convince herself over and over again as Sam took her home that night.
At dawn, Leah awakened with crust in her eyes as a sunbeam began to peek through her cracked blinds. Under her cloudy comforter, she twisted her body to see that her alarm clock read 8:17AM.
Rebecca had made it to the other side of Puget Sound—Billy, Rachel, and Jacob would be returning to the rez in mere hours without her.
Before Leah could make herself sad all over again, her mother's boisterous laughter and her father's blueberry pancakes wafting through the air provided a distraction. She rolled out of bed and unplugged her nightlight before stretching her long arms to the ceiling, yawning loudly.
She entered the kitchen to a rare Sunday morning scene at her household, one that only came around when all the cosmos aligned—when everybody's schedule lined up. Harry and Sue danced around each other in the kitchen to the O'Jays playing on the little stereo. When they didn't dance, Harry flipped pancakes while Sue fried up thick slices of bacon. Seth sat at the kitchen table, picking the leaves and stems off freshly rinsed strawberries as he intently watched a rerun of Power Rangers Dino Thunder on TV. Through the back door, the faintest sunshine peeked through the gray clouds.
"'Morning," she greeted her family, another yawn escaping her mouth.
"Hach chi'í," Harry said.
Sue smiled at her. "There's Sleeping Beauty."
"Hey, Ma." Leah rounded the counter to see if her parents had anything else on the menu this morning.
Her mother caught her eyeing the package of frozen hash brown patties sitting on the counter. "The oven should be preheated now," Sue said. "Wanna throw those in?"
"You know me so well," Leah replied, promptly looking for a baking sheet.
Sunday morning breakfast with her family distracted Leah from the hard feelings that had been weighing on her heart all weekend. Between pancakes, bacon, hash browns, strawberries, and orange juice, she'd almost forgotten how much she'd cried over the last couple of nights, and she didn't fear for the next time she'd cry either. She couldn't convince herself that she'd be okay any sooner than someday, but it helped.
They'd all finished eating and had been chatting at the table when Harry asked Leah, "You have any plans today?"
She shook her head. "I'll probably hang out with Sam when he gets off work, but that's it."
"Oh, good," he said. "I've been meaning to show the boy how to work the grill. Me, Mom, and Charlie are gonna head over to Billy's later, probably bring some beer and grill up some burgers. You know, just try to be there for 'em."
Her parents' hospitality and outgoing eagerness all but shocked Leah at this point. "That's a good idea," she told Harry. "Billy and Jake are gonna want company."
"Especially Billy. I still can't believe my first baby niece just took off with her boyfriend to Hawaii, and now my other first baby niece is about to move away for college," Sue added. She met her hand to Harry's on the table, rubbing her thumb along his rough knuckles. "We're getting old, babe."
"It feels like just yesterday when Jake was first born and the twins stayed over that weekend," Harry reminisced.
Sue had recited the story half a dozen times. Back in January of 1990, the weekend when Sarah had given birth to Jacob, the twins had been three-and-a-half years old while Leah had just turned two and Seth hadn't even been in the picture. The whole weekend had been filled with a persistent Rebecca challenging "why?" to every sentence Sue uttered. Sue provided an answer to almost every new inquiry too, but Rachel would always back her sister up whenever Sue didn't have all the answers. Harry and Sue had always joked that Rachel functioned as Rebecca's lawyer, and their dynamic hadn't changed a bit over the years.
Sue wiped away a couple of runaway tears and sniffed, looking down at the table. Leah always got somewhat freaked out when her mother cried, since it didn't occur often—only when she reflected on how things used to be, especially when Sarah had been around.
"Where'd all the time go?" Sue asked.
"I'm sure Billy's thinking the exact same thing," Harry assured her, giving his wife's hand a tender squeeze. Then he nodded his head towards Leah. "I'm gonna head down to the Thriftway to grab some stuff for the barbecue. You need anything from there?"
Leah remembered the disposable camera that had captured the twenty-seven most important moments of this summer—she'd need to get those photos developed if she wanted them to live anywhere beyond her own memory.
"You mind if I tag along?" she asked Harry. "I wanna take my camera up there, hopefully get my photos developed."
"Good idea," Harry said. "You ought to get some driving time in too."
"You're not wrong," Leah replied. She'd been driving around with Harry or Rachel or Sam all summer and hoped to take her driver's license test by her seventeenth birthday in November. She needed much more time on the road.
"Duh, she's gonna tag along, Dad," Seth interjected. "Sam's gonna be there."
Instinctively, Leah rolled her eyes at him. "You caught me, Seth."
In the afternoon, Leah entered the Thriftway in Forks, trailing near Harry, who pushed a shopping cart while reading from the shopping list that Sue had sent him with before they'd departed. Once they entered the store, Leah walked toward the photo center, back by the pharmacy. She took a detour through the produce section, but she didn't see Sam. She figured he must have been working in the back.
Not long after dropping off the photos, Leah learned that she had severely underestimated how long it'd take for the photos from her cheap little Kodak camera. With a receipt instructing her to come back in seven to ten days, she passed through the produce section again, where she found the heartthrob she'd been searching for all this time. Looking downright irresistible in his polo, slacks, apron, slip-resistant sneakers, and hairnet, Sam unpacked a cardboard box full of bagged salads and set them out on the refrigerated shelves.
"Hey, muscles," she said in a placid tone as she approached him, not wanting to be too bold and embarrass him at work with full-on PDA.
But he didn't seem to care. "Hey, yourself," he greeted her, his expression disarming. He quickly glanced over his shoulder—probably to make sure his supervisor didn't have an eye on him—and then stealthily leaned in to sneak a brief kiss that melted her.
A coquettish, dimpled smile appeared on Leah's face once they separated. "You're gonna be real unemployed if you keep that up," she warned him. "Sexy hairnet, by the way."
"Thanks. And I'll take the risk," Sam affirmed with a roguish glint in his eyes. "It's not every day that the finest girl I've ever seen stalks me at work."
She laughed. "Nice theory, but I actually came here to get some film developed," she informed him, holding up the receipt from the photo center in her hands.
He'd resumed stocking the shelves, nodding attentively. "Oh, yeah. That's gonna take a while. The photo center's slow as hell."
"Yeah, I just figured that out. I don't know why I thought it'd take, like, twenty minutes for the photos to be done, but I guess you'll be seeing your hot stalker around here in a week."
"I'll be sure to keep an eye out then."
He tossed the empty cardboard box to the side and moved on to the next one under it. With a boxcutter, he removed from the pocket of his apron, he sliced the box open and resumed filling the shelves. The rippling and flexing of his bicep muscles captivated her, and she'd grown well aware that he'd been working out in his spare time lately, but she practiced restraint.
"What's going on tonight?" he asked her.
They'd orbited each other essentially every night since school had gotten out for the summer, but she never grew tired of him asking her that question. The fact that he still asked without assumption impressed her. She enjoyed how he kept up with the chase, as if he hadn't already won her heart over and over again.
Summer and its freedoms had allowed Leah and Sam to fall into a new routine altogether—one where she didn't have to worry about her color-coordinated calendars, for once. She could have seen herself penciling in "hoop sesh" or "movie night" at most, anyway.
"There's gonna be a barbecue at Billy's tonight," she said. "I mean, it's probably just an excuse for my parents to kick it with him, but you know that he's probably feeling like crap today. Rachel and Jake too."
"Sheesh, I can imagine," Sam replied. "I can't believe Beck really just left."
I can, Leah thought. Before she could dwell on it for too long and start crying in the middle of the produce section, she changed the subject. "But the barbecue probably won't get started until seven, seven-thirty," she added. "You're off at six again, right?"
"That's right. Did you wanna get together a little while before we head over?"
She harkened back to all the times that they would escape for a makeout session in his car before being subjected to her parents' nosy gazes. Those brief sessions remained the highlights of her summer. "That sounds good, yeah," she replied with a skittish expression.
"Good. We can park over by the trail near Third Beach and—" Sam began, but then eyes fell somewhere behind her, and his tone shifted. "Hey, Mr. Clearwater."
Leah couldn't resist rolling her eyes before she turned to her father, who approached the produce section now with a shopping cart full of food from the list Sue had sent him, along with a bunch of other items that he'd deemed necessary.
She waited around while Harry and Sam made small talk. Harry instructed Sam to show up early tonight to man the grill, effectively canceling Leah and Sam's plans to hook up beforehand. As Harry and Sam wrapped up their conversation, Harry then pestered Leah about "letting the guy do his job."
Leah and Sam quickly said their see you laters. Left with a pining feeling that she couldn't quite shake, she wondered if they'd get another moment alone, preferably a longer one than the short-lived sessions that they'd grown accustomed to in the last couple of months.
But she let it go. Summer wouldn't slow down any time soon.
Any sadness that Billy and Jacob may have felt today became imperceptible in the wake of good people and good food. Harry and Sue could entertain like nobody else, and Jacob was all smiles with Quil and Embry around him.
Rachel was a different story, though.
After noticing her sulky mood and red eyes (probably from crying, though Leah wouldn't put it past her if she'd also smoked weed earlier), Leah and Andy took it upon themselves to keep Rachel company tonight so she wouldn't feel so left behind. Sam joined them once Harry freed him from grill duty, and the four of them hid away after dinner, finding recluse in Rachel's half-empty bedroom.
As Leah took a seat on the carpet next to Sam, the bedroom remained a jarring sight. It looked the same back on Friday night during the sleepover, but the space instantly became emptier without the other twin here.
Every major sign of Rebecca had disappeared. The bedding on the top bunk bed looked neat and nicely folded for the first time in recent history. The absence of posters left the wall empty, save for Rachel's beloved poster of Las dos Fridas on the far wall. Beck's little purple boombox and the stack of CDs had vanished too. In place of Beck's stuff sat the last two boxes that Rachel needed to ship out to her dormitory in Pullman. In thick black ink, they had been labeled "books" and "winter clothes," respectively.
Only one thing remained worse than Beck leaving La Push: Rach would be leaving soon too.
"The room looks so weird now," Leah observed. "How can you sleep in here, dude?"
"Beck snores, so I've actually been sleeping like a baby," Rachel replied, sitting down next to Andy on the bottom bunk. "I had a good nap when we got back from the airport, but it hasn't been this quiet in the house since '99. I kinda hate it."
It had been just over five years since Sarah passed.
Leah still had some ugly-crying and snot left in her, but she didn't want to go to that place anymore this weekend. She and the twins had already cried a river of tears wide enough to drown in it. Any more crying spells would yield a tsunami.
Instead, she gave Rachel a playful punch to the shin. "You know you still haven't told me about your dorm at Wazzu yet," she urged her with an excited grin.
"I didn't?" Rachel asked, hopping from her bed to grab a folder off her desk. "I finally got approved to be in the Honors dorm."
"Of course you did, you nerd," Leah teased. "Like you'd let me forget you're gonna graduate debt-free."
Over talk of engineering programs and Rachel's work-study gig at a cafe on campus, an overwhelming sense of gratitude washed over Leah.
Tsunami averted.
A week later, Leah carefully balanced herself on her desk chair as she displayed the photographs on her bedroom wall. All twenty-seven of them had tiny pieces of Scotch tape rolled onto their backs. Her mental cameras had still done the heavy lifting this summer, of course, but Leah still wanted images she could hang on her wall.
With the photos surrounding her shelves of copious basketball trophies, Leah stepped down from her chair and admired the twenty-seven most important parts of Summer '04.
She admired the twins and herself at First Beach on the hottest day of the year, sun-kissed and posing like Charlie's Angels; Sam and Andy kicking around a soccer ball in the Clearwaters' backyard; Emily in her kitchen, in Neah Bay, proudly showing off the most perfect batch of blueberry muffins she'd baked yet; Kim making a layup at the basketball court by the beach; Harry and Sue cozied up and laughing by the fire pit at one of their classic fish fry nights; Seth holding a certificate indicating that he'd completed the Forks library's summer reading program (and having read the most books), beaming so hard that Leah could hear him say "Cheese!" through the image; a shot that Harry had snapped of Leah and Sam standing on the front porch of her house, on one of their many date nights, the teenagers grinning from ear to ear as Sam's arm draped around her; and, finally, the first picture she'd taken this summer, a blurry, flashy attempt of flipping the camera around with one hand as she and Sam had been nestled in the backseat of his car. Somewhere in the blur she could detect his lips on hers.
Despite all the tears that had accompanied these last few days, she still knew one thing for sure, so much that she felt it in her bones: this had been the best summer of her entire life.
On the third Friday in August, Rachel—in the midst of a crisis—called up Leah on the Clearwaters' landline.
With Sue and Harry away at Charlie's house and Seth away at Collin's house that quiet night, Leah and Sam had been making out on the couch for a grand total of eight minutes while a rerun of True Life played on TV; the program watched them rather than the other way around.
Having been interrupted by the shrill ringing of the telephone, Leah took all her strength to untangle herself from him as she got up from the couch to answer it.
"That's probably my parents," she sighed, wiping her smudged lip balm from the corners of her mouth and readjusting her disheveled t-shirt. Sam fell back against the couch with a sigh.
Leah then picked up the phone, out of breath and silently praying to the universe that her parents hadn't called. "Hello?"
"Hey, Lee-Lee," Rachel greeted her in a glum tone. "What're you doing?"
Leah exhaled in relief. "Hey, Rach. I'm just hanging out with Sam."
"Well, I won't interrupt the hot makeout sesh," her friend snarked.
"Too freakin' late," she snarked back. "What's going on with you?"
"I kinda wanna die," Rachel professed.
Leah frowned. "Um, what happened?"
"My ride to Pullman bailed on me. You remember Liv, right? From the party?"
The name didn't ring a bell. "I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I met her."
"You weren't. At least, not yet. Anyways, she got grounded for an entire month and her parents took away her car."
"What?" Leah asked. "Do her parents not know she's literally supposed to drive you across the state soon?"
"They don't give a shit!" Rachel exclaimed. With each following word she uttered, she sounded even more upset. "I mean, I could try to take the bus over there, but I'd have to take so many buses. Or I could even fly out to Pullman, but I'd still have to take a bunch of buses to even get to SeaTac first and flights are crazy-expensive. It's like when Beck's here, everything's fine. Then when she leaves, everything turns into a dumpster fire."
"That might be true, but you need to breathe," Leah said. She hadn't experienced Rachel this inconsolable in years, and it scared the hell out of her. She knew it must have felt even worse for Rachel, though, to have to get through this without her lifelong plus-one and wombmate around, keeping her grounded.
"You'll still be able to make it to school," Leah added without really thinking.
"How?" Rachel cried. "Pretty much all of my stuff is over there. Do you know how many times I had to run down to the post office to send it all over to school?"
"I know, I know," Leah said. "When do you need to move in?"
"Not this Sunday, but the one after that. It's not like it matters, 'cause I can't go. I'll have to drop out before I even show up."
Leah's eyes widened. "Don't say all that! Can you hold on for a sec?"
Rachel sniffed. "Sure."
Leah covered the mouthpiece of the phone with the palm of her hand. "Hey!" she whispered loudly to Sam.
Her boyfriend looked away from the television, turning down the volume with the remote control. "Yeah?" he whispered back.
"Do you work next weekend? And if you do, can you take it off?"
"I work Friday and Saturday, but I'm off Sunday." He paused. "Wait, why are we whispering?"
"Oh, my bad," Leah said at a normal volume, still shielding the mouthpiece. "Rachel's ride to school next Sunday bailed on her."
"Isn't her new school in Idaho?"
"No, Pullman, which is basically in Idaho," she corrected him. "It's about eight hours away."
Sam blinked. "I mean, I can probably drive? I'll have to come up with something to say to my boss, though. I'm scheduled for Monday."
"We'll figure it out," Leah said. Then she raised the phone to her ear again. "Hey, Rach, so I'll try to work something out with Sam. Should we try to bring Emily and Joseph? Maybe Andy?"
"Nah, Em and Joe make it a little conspicuous. Plus, Andy sucks at driving and he'd probably forget the directions. But it'd be amazing if you and Sam could take me," Rachel said, her tone slightly brighter. "It's no pressure—like, at all—but I'd pay you guys in gas, food, whatever you want, if you can take me."
"We'll see," Leah told her. "I still need to ask my 'rents."
Rachel exhaled sharply, like she'd been holding her breath. "Okay. Keep me posted, alright?"
"Of course."
"Love you, Leah. Even if it doesn't work out, I love you for trying."
"Love you too. I'll call you back in a little while, okay?"
"Gotcha."
Leah hung up the phone and returned to Sam, snuggling up to him on the couch while the documentary played on TV. They twisted into almost one shape again.
She gently rested her head on his shoulder as his arm draped around her, on instinct. "Would I be a bad friend if I let Rachel drop out of Wazzu?" she wondered aloud.
"I wouldn't call you a bad friend, but she's been trying to get outta here for years."
"Since '99," Leah sighed. "It's been a long time coming. I feel like I've gotta do something, though, and I'm sorry if I put you on the spot—I just knew I'd feel horrible if I didn't at least try."
"It's cool," he assured her. "She's your best friend, and we can probably make it work. Shoot, we could make a whole road trip out of it. Go camping and fishing and stuff."
She sat up to look at him incredulously. "Fishing? What do I look like, my dad?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I mean… it's all in the nose," he tried to explain. "And those long-ass eyelashes. I'll be sure to pay my compliments to the chef next time I see him."
She rolled her eyes but couldn't achieve it without smiling at him. "Corny ass."
He leaned in so their lips met, to pick up where they'd left off before Rachel called, but then an idea struck Leah, and the light bulb practically materializing above her head. She jolted up from the couch, making a beeline for her bedroom.
"No, wait!" he called after her. "You're way prettier than your dad!"
She laughed from her bedroom. "No, genius, I need to find my calendar. We gotta get Rachel to college!"
Leah, Sam, and Rachel mapped out Operation: Get Rachel to College in record speed, like their lives depended on it. At least, Rachel's did.
Saturday morning, Sam got up early to go fishing with Harry, Billy, and Charlie before working a short shift at the Thriftway. Sam and Harry already hung out almost every weekend just by proximity, but a little extra rapport couldn't hurt. Leah didn't care much about fishing. Maybe Sam would catch a big one or whatever to impress her dad.
Back at home, Leah made sure to kiss up to her mother by tidying up around the house as well as remaining agreeable and attitude-free the entire time. Rachel and Leah hit the public library in the afternoon, researching round-trip MapQuest directions and web pages on campsites before printing them out to be extra prepared.
Rachel let Leah drive her truck to and from Forks due to its sluggish indestructibility and Leah's need to brush up on her driving skills. The Chevy pickup made for good practice, but she couldn't picture herself driving the machine around. She'd have to save up for a car of her own if she wanted something more her speed.
On the way back to the rez, the girls went over the plan again, coaching each other through every possible scenario their parents could throw at them. Practicing her lines along with remembering to double-pump the clutch when she shifted gears had Leah feeling the pressure.
"Now I'm starting to think this might not work," Leah admitted as she approached the single stoplight in town. "Even if my mom does let us go, she'll go postal if anything bad happens."
"Well, nothing bad's gonna happen 'cause you and Sam are super responsible and safe," Rachel said with unflinching assurance.
"I know that, but what if they don't believe us?"
"Don't even put that in your head," she instructed Leah. "Okay, so for the fast money round. How many miles are on Sam's car?"
Leah's brows knit as she tried to materialize the exact numbers in her mind. "I… don't know. Why do I need to know that?"
"Because it makes you look like you've done your research," Rachel insisted, "which you have. So, how many miles?"
"Uh…" Leah faltered.
"It's not rocket science."
"Shit, okay. Thirty five thousand?" she guessed as the light turned green and she resumed driving.
"No, thirty," Rachel corrected her. "Well, thirty-two, but we'll just tell them thirty."
"Okay, then. Thirty."
"And how far away is Pullman from La Push?"
"Four hundred and eighty with tolls, five hundred without," Leah answered with more confidence.
"It's four hundred and seventy with tolls, but not bad. See, Lee-Lee? It's no pressure. At this rate, they're gonna have to say yes."
"Then put me in, coach."
Leah studied up for the rest of the afternoon while, in true Clearwater fashion, Harry and Sue had Billy, Rachel, Jacob, Charlie, and Allison over for a small get-together to commemorate today's catch the best way they could: a fish fry night.
They'd all been sitting around the fire pit by the time Sam came over after work, at a little after nine that night. From the instant he'd gotten his plate, the countdown began. She'd jotted the plan down in her color-coordinated calendar and thoroughly studied it with Rachel. Like Rach had told her, it wasn't rocket science, but she made it sound so easy.
The group moved indoors as Billy, Jake, and Charlie stayed afterward, chatting with Leah's parents and Allison as Leah washed the dishes alongside Sam, playing nice and sweet. Leah and Sam waited for the perfect time to initiate their proposition, and with Rachel as their lawyer, they waited to take the sentimental approach.
Charlie managed to provide the perfect transition into the topic. "So, when do you leave for school, Rach?" he asked her from the living room couch. "Are you excited?"
"Next week," Rachel replied. "I'm excited. Kinda bummed too, though." She glanced at Leah with raised eyebrows as if to say, Now.
"Rachel needs a ride to Wazzu next Sunday," Leah casually announced as she handed a dish over to Sam to dry. "Her old ride ditched her."
Panic crossed Billy's face, and he didn't hide it in his tone of voice either. He couldn't hold a poker face when it came to auto safety. "What?" he asked Rachel. "The Chevy's never gonna make it all the way to Pullman. Why didn't you say anything before?"
"I just found out my friend had to cancel," Rachel told him. "I didn't want you to worry."
"Well, I'm worried now," Billy huffed.
"That's terrible, sweetie," Sue added, the worry line forming in her forehead. "Please say you have a backup plan."
Of course the sentimental approach is working. "We actually do," Leah piped up. "We were thinking of driving there, us and Sam. Sam's car is sturdy and reliable. There's only, like, thirty thousand miles on it, and it's up to date on maintenance."
"He's a good driver too," Rachel inserted. "Really good."
"And how far away is Wazzu again?" Allison wondered.
"Four hundred and seventy miles with tolls, five hundred without," Leah answered, just like she'd rehearsed it with Rachel. "But Sam can't just go by himself. Either way, it's a long drive, and that's why I'll be there too."
"So let's say you guys head out early in the morning, and Sam and Rachel take turns driving so you can get there in one day," Harry proposed. "How are you getting back with only one licensed driver?"
"Carefully and slowly," Sam answered. "Since it's not safe for anyone to drive more than eight hours a day, we'll go camping in Wenatchee beforehand so we can get a good night's sleep. Then I'll just drive me and Leah back. It's only five and a half hours from Lake Wenatchee to here, but we'll take breaks too."
Rachel drove the sentimental impact home now. "You know just as much as I do that Leah and Sam would never, ever let anything bad happen," she promised Sue. "Sam really is a great driver too—you can ask anyone, even his old driver's ed teacher. Charlie can pull his driving record, if he has to."
"I got a 99 on my driver's test," Sam added as a humble flex. "And no traffic tickets."
"If you guys wanted to drive to Wazzu together, all you had to do was say so," Sue said in a nonchalant tone, much to Leah's surprise. She glanced at Allison. "What do you think, Alli?"
Allison nodded. "Works for me as long as you're safe."
Leah shot a surprised glance at Rachel. That's it? We haven't even whipped out the MapQuest directions!
"You guys need to prepare for every single emergency you can think of," Billy sternly advised the teens. "And I'll make sure Sam's car is up to date on maintenance myself."
"Let me just lay out some ground rules, though," Sue announced. "No drinking, no drugs—"
"Ma," Leah groaned. "You know we're not like that."
"I'm sure you're not," Sue replied. She looked at Jacob. "Jake, sweetie, are you coming along?"
"Uhh, probably not, Auntie Sue," the kid answered. "I've got plans with Quil and Embry that day." (Leah had also heard he'd cried like a baby at SeaTac when Beck had departed.)
"Then here's a third rule: You have to bring Seth," Harry told the teenagers, picking up where Sue left off. "He'll keep you honest."
Leah and Sam shared a pained glance while Rachel gritted her teeth.
They'd won, but at what cost? Leah almost felt scared to find out.
Operation: Get Rachel to College had five ground rules administered by Sue, Harry, Allison, and Billy: no drinking, no drugs, get Rachel to school safely, call to check in every now and then, and get Seth home in one piece.
With Sam's Subaru packed full of snacks, the remainder of Rachel's belongings in a single cardboard box, and every last piece of camping gear they could come up with, the group headed out from Billy's house at five o'clock on the dot, an hour and a half before the sun began to rise over the horizon. Billy and Jacob did one last, thorough safety inspection on the car. While they all said their tearful goodbyes, Leah willed herself not to cry again.
Assuming the position of deejay and navigation via MapQuest, Leah sat down in the passenger seat and put on one of the CD mixtapes Sam had burned just for this occasion as they all headed out to the highway.
Sam's Subaru remained the only car on the road until they reached the outskirts of Forks, where they approached a shiny, black Mercedes heading the other way on the two-way road, closely followed by a silver Volvo. Both cars had darkly tinted windows and license plates from Alaska.
Leah lowered the volume on the stereo. "Hey, Seth, check out those plates. Ever seen one from Alaska?" They'd taken at least a dozen camping trips with their parents over the years and always made a game of spotting out-of-state license plates. She'd won the first point already with these randos in town.
"He's already knocked out," Rachel informed her.
Leah turned to find Seth dozing off in the backseat next to Rachel, snoring softly as his head pressed against the window. "So much for keeping us honest," she muttered.
"They're probably lost," Sam said, peering through his left side mirror as the two shiny cars disappeared among the trees.
"Right," Leah replied, "'cause a nice-ass Mercedes driving around in little old Forks at five in the morning is super normal."
"Forks is getting weird," Rachel observed from the backseat. "Ugh, get me the hell outta here."
The trek from La Push to Pullman turned out to be a new experience for everybody that day. A few of the Clearwaters' past summer road trips had brought them as far east as the I-5 corridor, but never past the Cascades, through the mountains. Rachel had gone camping with her family in Wenatchee before, but that had been years and years ago, way before 1999. And Sam hadn't ever ventured further east than Sequim. The dark overcast of the Olympic Peninsula eventually disappeared, being replaced by clear skies with few clouds. Leah didn't get the impression that she occupied the edge of the earth anymore.
Before hitting the Cascades, they pulled over at a gas station in Maple Valley, a suburb southeast of Seattle. After filling up the gas tank and watching Rachel and Sam trade seats, Leah saw any feelings Rachel still had attached to La Push fizzle out in the bright sunshine.
With the sun's rays beaming through the car and Rachel's choice of music—Alanis Morissette—blaring through the car speakers, Leah saw how much this all meant to her, to be the one to cross over to the mountains, to be the one to get herself out of La Push. When Leah looked at Rachel, grinning and singing along to the music, she saw how free she must have felt. She couldn't detect any signs that Rachel would miss La Push at all.
Leah could only force herself not to cry over it. (Again.) She simply slipped on her dark sunglasses and rolled down her window, letting her hand sway in the wind and the daylight caress her skin.
Pullman existed as the polar opposite of La Push, and Rachel's dorm at Washington State University only reinforced this stark contrast. The hot, dry environment combined with the resident assistants' bright smiles, blonde hair, limbs tanned enough to rival those of Southern Californians, and enthusiastic demeanors had Leah convinced that she'd arrived at a different planet entirely. She knew that if Rachel hadn't been so intent on fleeing the rez, she would've made fun of all these people.
After pulling up to the unloading zone by the dorm, Rachel went to the front desk to grab her room keys while everyone else hung back, waiting for further instructions. Leah stretched out her long legs, letting them get some much-needed sun. As she stretched, she watched another student and their dad struggling to lug a mini-fridge up the concrete stairs that led to the brick Honors dormitory.
Sam gave Leah a nudge. "It was a good idea for Rach to send her stuff over ahead of time," he remarked.
"I was thinking the same thing," Leah said to him.
Rachel returned to the car with her room keys, a shiny new lanyard, and a sheet of paper indicating her room number and the name of her randomly selected roommate. "I guess this is it," she told Leah, Sam, and Seth.
Leah wished she could do something—anything—to buy them more time. "Are you sure you don't want us to come up to your room with you?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"It's okay," Rachel said with a wave of her hand. "The desk attendant said my roommate's up there right now. Her whole family's helping her move in so the room's gonna be crowded for a while."
"Alright," Leah sighed.
Rachel gave her first goodbye hug to Seth, and just as they let go, she took off her backpack and set it on top of the car so she could open it. "Here, I've got something for you." She then handed him a brand-new, hardcover, first edition copy of The Outsiders.
Seth grinned from ear to ear at the gift. "No way! I've been trying to read this one all summer, but the library copy went missing and never got replaced."
"Well, this one's all yours," Rachel promised him. "And it's really good too—one of my all-time favorites."
Seth hugged her tightly. "Thanks so much, Rach. You're awesome."
Rachel laughed. "You're awesome too, Seth."
After parting from Seth, Rachel hugged Sam, quietly reminding him to continue treating Leah well (along with a light threat to chop his balls off in case he didn't), and to watch out for Jacob.
Finally, Rachel pulled Leah in for a hug, and the tsunami of tears began.
"Aww, Lee-Lee, don't cry," Rachel comforted her, also crying. It didn't happen often, but when Rachel got choked up, Leah knew.
"That's just making it worse!" Leah said into Rachel's dark hair. "It's not too late to take a gap year or two."
Rachel tenderly rubbed Leah's back. "You know just as well as I do that I've been itching to leave the rez for a minute now."
"I know. I just hope things are better for you now," Leah said in between sniffles. "Everyone's so proud of you for even making it here, Rach. And I know your mama would be so damn proud of you too."
Rachel's words came out in a cracked whisper as she stifled a choked sob. "I hope you're right. Thanks, Lee."
Leah gave her a squeeze. "Just don't forget about me. I mean it."
"As if I'm even capable of that, dummy."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Leah said with a half-hearted laugh.
They let go, smiling and wiping away their tears. Rachel retrieved a small, wooden gift box from her backpack that she'd carved herself. "So this is for you and Sam," she announced once all her tears had been wiped away.
Leah accepted the ornate box, but still shot Rachel a skeptical look. "And what's this?"
"It's a parting gift. Open it off campus, though."
"Now I'm scared."
Rachel just shook her head. "Don't be." She then zipped up her backpack, put it back on, and grabbed her final cardboard box from the roof of the car, where Sam had set it for her. She turned to him. "Thanks again for all your help, Sam."
"No problem, Rach," he replied.
Rachel balanced the box in one arm as she gave Leah one final squeeze. "I gotta get going, but I'll see you around, okay?"
At one point, Leah had considered Rachel one of the most honest people she'd ever known. She also knew exactly what see you around meant. The whole point of Rachel leaving at all was to never see anyone from La Push again.
It's not like there's anything I can do to get her to stay. It's too late. "Okay," Leah said.
She watched Rachel wave goodbye as she walked up to the dorm building. By the time she'd disappeared, Leah had already returned to the passenger seat.
Hot tears raced down Leah's face as they drove away from WSU's campus.
The exact moment that Leah had been dreading finally arrived. They'd officially reached a crossroads. Leah's fierce fortress, her girl group without the music, had officially disbanded. Groups could lose a member or two early on and survive as long as they got decent replacements or didn't lose the spirit of the group—the career trajectories of the Spice Girls and Destiny's Child had taught her that much—but being down two irreplaceable members? Leah didn't sense a comeback anytime soon; just a long, indefinite hiatus that would leave her free-falling with no sense of direction.
In the midst of Leah coming to terms with this expected betrayal, with one hand on the steering wheel, Sam's other hand found its place cradling Leah's hands. He slightly eased her mind a bit with his warm touch. "I know it's hard, Lee-Lee," he said. "I'm here for you, though. You know that, right?"
She wiped away her tears with the back of one of her right hand while her left held onto him. As she wiped away her tears, she made sure not to ruin the MapQuest directions sitting in her lap even more than she already had. "Yeah. I know."
While she had no reason to doubt him, everything still hurt. It all hurt so much that she wanted to fly somewhere far away in an attempt to forget, but with Sam keeping her earthbound, he reminded her that it wouldn't hurt forever.
Nestled somewhere in the Cascades, Lake Wenatchee State Park was vast, green, picturesque, and four hours west of WSU. By the time the Subaru pulled up to the campground, Leah noticed the dwindling daylight. They only had about an hour and a half before the sunset—a chill ran down her spine once she realized that they hadn't done as much as unpack a single backpack yet.
Fortunately, the park rangers didn't give them any crap as Sam drove up to the camping spot he'd reserved last week over the phone; Leah always saw the soft youthfulness in his face, so she'd forgotten how he could be perceived by people who didn't know him like she did. He must have looked older to them.
The campgrounds had a number of amenities, so after Leah helped Sam and Seth unpack the car, she walked down to the old yet functioning payphone they'd passed while checking in with the park rangers, taking note of the signs and landmarks so she could find her way back.
In adherence to the previously established ground rules, she had to make a couple of phone calls. The decision for her to navigate the expansive, foreign area while Sam set up camp simply made the most sense, anyway. After all, he was Survivor and she was The Amazing Race. This had all been part of their plan.
After inserting coins into the machine, Leah reached out to Billy first since he'd been the most nervous about the long drive, on the verge of tearing his hair out over it even when they'd checked in with him earlier. He expressed relief that Rachel had made it to school and Leah, Sam, and Seth had made it to the campgrounds without a hitch.
Leah called Allison next to spread the word, and then her own house. Harry answered the phone, much to Leah's gratitude. He didn't have a habit of asking as many questions as Sue did—he trusted Leah more, in that way. Leah gave him an identical spiel to the one she had given Billy and Allison: We're fine, Rachel made it to school, the rest of us made it to the campgrounds, and we'll head back first thing tomorrow morning. Yes, we have enough food and water and money, and yes, we'll watch Seth. Additionally, she and Harry chatted about the road trip to Pullman, and how at some point they'd all have to take a family road trip to the eastern side of the state next summer since the Cascades were too glorious to miss out on.
The sun had dipped slightly further down in the sky once Leah got off the phone and made her way back to where the guys had set up camp. Just as Leah rounded a corner to approach Sam and Seth, her brother released a bloodcurdling scream that reverberated through the trees, sending several birds flying away toward the mountains. Seth wildly waved his arms around and brushed off his t-shirt and cargo shorts.
"God, Seth!" Leah exclaimed. "Could you please try to save the screaming for when Jason freakin' Voorhees is coming after you?!"
"Who?" he demanded, continuing to frantically pat at his own clothes.
"Ugh, never mind," she said with a sharp exhale. "Did you walk into a spider web or something?"
"It wasn't a spider web, Leah," he corrected her, trying to look over his shoulder to get a full view of the back of his shirt. "It was the biggest freaking spider web I've ever seen. I think I felt something crawling on me! Can you check my back?"
"Okay, hold still." Leah gave a slight roll of her eyes in Sam's direction before turning Seth around by the shoulders. She found a black spider the size of a quarter crawling along his shirt and flicked it away somewhere onto the dirt. "You're good," she told him.
"Thanks, Lee," Seth said, grabbing his backpack and sleeping bag from the ground. "You saved my life."
"Obviously I wasn't gonna let my little brother get killed by a spider."
Seth brushed off his shorts once again with his free hand. "Can I stay in the car for the rest of the night? I'll just sleep in the backseat."
"Don't be such a scaredy-cat, Seth," she said. "You're gonna let that little spider stop you from roasting hot dogs and playing UNO with us?"
"C'mon, dude," Sam added with encouragement. "You're only one radioactive spider bite away from finally becoming Spider-Man."
Seth chuckled weakly, but Leah could read his stance on his forehead: No freaking chance.
Leah had expected her twelve-year-old brother to fold once his biggest fear presented itself on this trip, but she had still agreed to supervise him. Then again, the parking lot didn't sit too far away from the tent and campfire; if Seth ran into another spider web and screamed loud enough, she would certainly know.
Seth rapidly shook his head. "I'll pass," he told them. "I hate spiders, and there's spiders out here. I'm not even that hungry, anyway." He looked at Sam again. "Can I have your keys?"
"Are you okay with that?" Leah asked Sam, hoping he couldn't read her desperation but also hoping he could. They didn't get many—or any—opportunities to spend an entire night together, but she'd been lacking the right words to tell him this all summer.
Sam caught her drift. "It's fine." Then he tossed the keys towards Seth. "Just crack a window and lock the doors."
"Sweet!" Seth said, catching the keys. "See you guys in the morning."
"Be good and stay safe!" Leah called to him.
Seth waved as he made a beeline to the car. "You too."
Leah and Sam spent the dwindling daylight buzzing around, anxiously trying to make everything right for their evening together. They set up the campfire, divvied up the snacks, and individually utilized the shower amenities so they smelled less like the outdoors despite being outdoors. Seth even managed to convince them to hand-deliver him a roasted hot dog and a s'more after he finally admitted to being hungry.
Night had fallen by the time Leah and Sam occupied the spacious tent, but her feverishness over occupying this space with Sam took priority in her mind. She'd been trying to play it cool all this time, like her heart didn't jump out of her chest whenever she thought about being laid up with Sam in a tent all night, but she'd lost all her cool by now. His presence might as well have doused her in gasoline and torched her, at this point.
As Leah rolled out the sleeping bags and blankets to make the ground as cushy as possible, Sam hung a small, battery-powered lantern from the tent's ceiling, at her request. "Is this good for you, Lee-Lee?" he asked her once he finished.
"It's great," she replied, gazing up at him and watching his triceps flex as he secured the lantern. The lighting was weak, but still better than nothing. "You set up camp like a real survivor."
Sam shrugged. "Newton's Olympic Outfitters does a bang-up job."
Leah giggled. "Don't remind me of your homeboy Mike."
He visibly cringed, making her laugh even harder.
Clad in a pajama ensemble of shorts and an old tie-dye t-shirt, Leah finished smoothing out the sleeping bags to cover every last hard square inch of the tent floor, just in case. She didn't have any super-specific expectations of how they'd spend the night together, but she also didn't need to run the risk of either of them rolling onto a rock and instantly killing the mood.
Sam sat down next to her once he finished messing with the lantern, getting more comfortable. He already looked the part in his cutoff sweatpants and t-shirt—neither of them had dressed to impress, but that didn't matter. While she kept her expectations open, she still didn't anticipate being clothed for that long regardless.
"Can I say something without sounding like a jerk?" he asked her.
Still attempting to maintain an air of coolness despite her elation at finally getting alone time with him, the kind of alone time she'd been craving all summer, Leah brazenly draped her bare legs over his. "Go for it," she encouraged him.
"I'm kinda glad Seth chickened out earlier," he admitted, caressing her thighs in a way that sent chills throughout her entire body. "I've been trying to spend some time with just you forever now. I'd go anywhere with you to get that."
Just what I wanted to hear. "God, me too," she agreed. "It's nice to get away for a little bit, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I know we're just in the mountains, but I was starting to feel like I'd never get off the rez. Like I was trapped or something."
Heaviness weighed on her heart as he admitted this. She nodded her head. "The twins were feeling like that too," she replied. "The rez was driving them crazy. No, wait, speaking of them…" Remembering Rachel's parting gift but not wanting to stray from Sam's touch, Leah shifted to reach for her backpack, where she'd stowed away the wooden gift box. "Rach has a present for us."
"I forgot all about that," Sam said.
"Me too." Leah grabbed the box and then dramatically removed the lid, but the dramatics ended when she saw its contents. "This can't be what I think this is."
Sam laughed as he looked in the box. "No way! She left us a blunt."
"And a cute lighter," Leah observed, removing the thick, carefully rolled blunt and lighter embellished with the symbol for Gemini, the twins' sun sign, from the box. She handed the items to Sam so she could get to the folded up note at the bottom of the box. "Looks like there's a letter too."
Sam's attention remained on the gifts. "I don't smoke, but she rolled this one like a pro. What'd she write?"
"Yeah, apparently, she's real good at that." Leah reminisced on how surprisingly cool Rachel had looked rolling a blunt back at the prom after-party. She held the letter up to the light to read it better. "'Leah and Sam, thanks so much for everything. You guys deserve this. Love, Rachel.'"
They sat in silence. Rachel had always kept it real and honest, albeit brief—a daughter of Billy Black, without a doubt—so it didn't take much consideration. After all, they deserved this.
Leah flashed him a playful smile. "Are we gonna hotbox this tent or what?"
"Hell yeah," he agreed, leaning over to make sure the tent had been zipped up all the way. He then offered her the blunt and lighter. "It's all you."
Any remaining glimmer of coolness that she possessed departed by the time she raised the blunt to her lips, her fingers shaky from her nerves at the entire situation. She tried to remember how Rachel had lit the blunt, how she'd been so natural with it, but she failed to get it right.
Somewhere between dragging the flame of the lighter across the end of the blunt, pretending to look adept and calm, and inhaling the smoke, Leah singed two of her fingertips on her left hand. "Shit," she hissed.
"You okay?" he asked her.
"Yeah, but I'll live." She paused before deadpanning, "Or not."
"You gotta be more careful, baby," he told her. He grabbed a water bottle they'd left on the other end of the tent beside their snack stash. "I'm ninety-nine percent sure we left the first aid kit in the car, so this'll have to do if you wanna limit the chance of getting blisters. Lemme see your hand."
She complied, and then he poured water over her minor injuries, soothing her skin. Only a little bit got onto the blanket between them.
"How's that feel, Lee-Lee?" he asked, tenderly rubbing her fingertips with his thumbs.
"Better," she replied in a small voice. "I'm gonna have to send in your audition tape for Survivor. That Jeff guy would love you."
His soft lips pulled into a smirk. "Then I'll hold you to it."
She handed the parting gifts over to him. "Okay, it's your turn now."
When he lit the blunt with much more finesse than her, she thought he had her beat, but the single hit he took sent him into a fit of coughing.
"You're one to talk about being careful," she quipped as his coughing subsided.
"Go ahead and tell that to your burnt fingers," he quipped back before coughing once more. "Wanna try hitting this again?"
She shook her head. "Nah, I'm good."
"Yeah, me too. I don't think I lit it right, though—it's already almost out." He shifted to crack open the tent and put out the blunt before zipping the tent shut again and placing the gifts back in the box.
He'd resettled onto the cushy ground beneath them, but even closer to her this time. They cozied up in a blanket for a long moment, listening to the crickets chirping and the frogs croaking in the distance.
"Do you feel anything?" she wondered, glancing up at him.
He stared back at her now with his deep brown eyes. "I don't think so. Do I look high?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
She shook her head as she broke up in laughter. "Nope," she admitted.
"Damn, you almost got me too."
As they laughed at each other, everything felt right.
"You're so pretty, Leah," he told her, looking like he'd considered this for a long time before committing to saying it.
A shiver ran down her spine, but she couldn't attribute it to any cold weather. A soft, dimpled smile fell on her lips. "You always say that."
"It's always true."
They basked in a tense silence until he caught the memo to make his move a half-second before she made hers, colliding in a fierce kiss that took her breath away.
Over this sweet summer, Leah had gotten familiar with Sam's awe-inspiring ability to make every last kiss feel like their first in terms of anticipation, but they'd crossed into new territory now, one where they didn't feel inclined to hold back. As if a switch had been flipped, every touch grew more desperate than the last as they rolled around the tent, their bodies close together in one moving part, twisting into a new shape.
Without a need to play by any rules, or remain limited to the confines of the backseat of his car, or potentially get interrupted by a phone call, they fooled around like they'd meant to all summer, like the world would implode if they halted for even a moment without bothering to hold themselves or their hands back. It didn't take long before they ended up sprawled out on the sleeping bags with her half-straddling him, holding him hostage with her thighs.
She'd lost track of how long they'd been at this by the time he paused to take a breath. His skillful hands stayed busy underneath what little remained of her pajamas while her hands and mouth moved elsewhere on his body, making it her goal to remove his pajamas as well.
"Sheesh, I can feel your heartbeat," he exhaled. "You good?"
"I'm fine," she assured him. "It's just the butterflies."
"Is that a real thing?"
She blinked, separating her lips from the lone freckle where his jaw met his throat, and the question that had occupied the back burner in her mind since their first ever kiss reappeared. "I mean, yeah, it is for me. Do you get them too?"
"No, not butterflies," he confessed. "But I get goosebumps whenever you're around me."
He'd been saying everything she wanted to hear today.
"And what about when I'm not around?" she challenged, stroking her fingernails along his arm and coaxing the goosebumps in question.
He paused, and his eyes evoked something beyond sincerity. "This sounds soft, but I get goosebumps just about every time I think of you. You make me kinda nervous, in a good way."
She nodded at his confession. "I can see that."
"That's it? I don't make you nervous?"
He made her nervous as hell in the best way possible—so much that he could probably feel it emanating from her now—but she couldn't just tell him. "I don't know about all that," she finally said, bluffing.
He rolled them over so she laid beneath him now, his hands holding a possessive grip on her bare waist. She instinctively twitched at his touch, feeling him everywhere. The swift maneuver caused her to tighten her legs around him.
"How about now?" he whispered.
She could barely hear with her own thunderous pulse filling her ears. "Shit, you've got me a little nervous now."
He took a breath. "Can I try something?"
Her voice came out in a hushed manner, both nervous and excited once her lips separated. "Yeah."
Sam then leaned down to kiss her with an ardent urgency that immediately erased the words that she'd wanted to tell him all this time, but she didn't care. Those words that lingered on the tip of her tongue didn't matter anymore, once she instead remembered all the places she wanted to go with him. She'd been waiting for this—no, she'd been waiting for him.
Their kiss deepened, and they finally had their moment.
Upon opening her eyes, Leah woke up the following morning to emerging sunlight rather than the weak glow of the lantern. The battery must have died when she'd been fast asleep. This feeling took her back to her mornings on the rez, where she'd spend her waking moments readjusting to reality and reminding herself that the shadows hadn't won, after all.
Of course, she hadn't spent much time waking up next to Sam until now.
He didn't get up long after she did. His legs lazily brushed against hers as he nuzzled his face in the nook between her neck and shoulder. With his arm wrapped around her, she felt more than at home; he embodied home in the form of a human being. By the time she tapped out last night after finally growing tired, she hadn't even gotten underneath a blanket, but Sam had kept her warm with no problem. He'd done everything right.
She trailed her fingernails along his arm, a habit by this point. "'Morning," she whispered.
He gave her an affectionate squeeze. "Hey. How'd you sleep?"
"Barely," she said. She turned her head to peek at him. He had sleepy eyes, but he also couldn't look more at peace.
"Same here," he agreed, stifling a yawn.
"Welcome to my world."
He buried his face further into her neck, sighing deeply. "I never wanna leave it."
Her words came out in a whisper before she drifted back to sleep, his body entirely wrapped around hers. "Me neither."
Leah and Sam would have stayed in their cushy fortress until the world imploded if she hadn't remembered that Seth existed. Waking up with a jolt not long after falling back asleep, Leah nudged Sam awake so they could clean up, get dressed, and take down the tent.
Minutes later in the parking lot, they found a half-asleep Seth in one piece, rummaging through the trunk.
"Watch out, Seth," Leah told her brother as she and Sam approached the car, carrying the haphazardly packed tent and the rest of their gear. "We gotta throw stuff in the trunk."
Seth now faced Leah, yawning loudly. He'd been sifting through a bag of food that they'd left in the trunk along with the first aid kit Leah and Sam had struggled to look for last night. With half-open eyes, Seth raised a silver, plastic square in one of his hands, and the realization of what he'd discovered made Leah want to die. "Why'd you guys bring a bunch of ramen noodle flavor packets but no ramen?" he asked.
Leah hastily snatched the Trojan condom from his hand and hid it away with the six others strewn throughout the trunk, stuffing them in the first aid kit. "That's a good question," she curtly told Seth. "Help us pack up so we can head out."
Groggy and unbothered, he didn't question it.
The three of them packed up the truck rather quickly, but Leah still felt hot with embarrassment because of Seth's discovery, and that hadn't even been the half of it.
Seth remained observant despite his drowsiness. As they finished packing up the Subaru, he pointed out one of the dark bruises on Sam's neck. "Bro, you've got a huge mark on your neck."
Sam self-consciously slapped a hand over the hickey that Seth had discovered. "I was bitten by a radioactive spider," he explained.
"Twice?" Seth asked in reference to the other marking on Sam's neck.
"Yeah, I think I pissed it off. It was vicious."
"Just get in the car, Seth," Leah dismissed her brother.
"Whatever, Leah," Seth grumbled. He glanced at Sam. "Lemme know when your powers kick in."
As Seth retreated to the backseat, Leah rounded the car to meet Sam at the trunk, still holding the first aid kit. "Sorry about Seth," she said wryly. "He can be kinda nosy."
Sam brushed it off, shrugging his shoulders. "It's alright. We really could've used those condoms he ended up finding, though." They'd spent several long, desperate minutes searching for something that hadn't made it to the tent in the first place.
"Then it's a good thing we didn't need them in the end," she reminded him, her face growing hot all over again as she reflected on last night, a scene that had been looping in her mind since she'd woken up. "Lemme patch you up."
Leah had never left a hickey on anybody prior to this camping trip, and she could spot the marks she'd left on him from a mile away. To play it safe, she dabbed a tiny drop of Neosporin onto each incriminating bruise before covering them up with a Band-Aid. Her mom used Neosporin to heal just about anything, so she figured this would work too.
"Thanks," he said as she tended to his wounds.
"No problem." She peered up at him and tossed her hair over her shoulder to expose her throat. "Do I have any hickeys to cover up?"
"You're all good since I only gave you a couple," he answered. "Plus they're already covered up by your clothes."
She gave him a coy smile before lacing her fingers to his. "Good job thinking ahead. Let's get outta here."
And with that, they returned to the car, only letting go when they got into their respective seats, but their hands instinctively met again once they made it to the road.
As they departed the campground and the Cascades, Leah watched the blissful, bittersweet summer fall behind her, blurring with the trees behind the dark tint of her shades.
Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable media or characters mentioned here. All histories and cultural aspects of the Quileute tribe belong to them.
