She stood at the back of the room and wondered if he had seen her yet. She didn't know why she'd come. She didn't really understand why she had gone there. It was almost as though she'd woken up and gone on autopilot. She'd sat in the kitchen of the penthouse apartment, nursing a cup of coffee and staring down at the black water. She'd heard her husband flit around the kitchen, late for work and panicking over some deal that he wasn't sure was going to go through. She'd only startled when she'd felt him peck her on the side of the head. He'd narrowed his eyes and adjusted his tie against his chest before looking down at the newspaper that was still open on the same page as it had been several minutes ago.

"Isn't that your ex?" he questioned her. She peered up to him and forced herself to nod her head.

"Yeah," she said.

Jonathan let out a dark chuckle and rolled his eyes. "What's he done to warrant getting a promotion? I thought you said he was an alcoholic?"

"I said he had a drinking problem…which was understandable at the time," she retorted, tone slightly haughty. Her husband held his hands up in defence.

"You were the one who bad mouthed him to me, Verity," Jonathan replied. Verity sighed loudly and nodded. She didn't want to get into an argument. She was well aware that they'd spent far too long arguing over things. They hardly ever spoke cordially to each other these days. "So what's he done?"

"He was kidnapped by Jigsaw," Verity said.

Jonathan let out a short bark of laughter. "No fucking way," he gasped out. "And he escaped."

"He's been the only cop to escape," Verity replied.

"Sounds fortunate," Jonathan said and Verity knew that he had no love loss towards her ex-husband. They'd had a couple of run ins over the years and neither have them had ended particularly well. "And he's getting promoted for it?"

"He rescued a little girl who had been kidnapped by Jigsaw…used in one of his traps…the details aren't exactly forthcoming but I guess the press don't know everything just yet," Verity said. "Hopefully it's over though…Jigsaw's gone…it's over."

"Well, there's always copycats," Jonathan said and reached for the coffee pot, pouring some of the cooling liquid into his travel mug. Verity frowned and resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"You could at least make it sound like you're relieved the city won't be terrorised anymore," Verity said.

"Come on, V, it's not as if we had anything to worry about," Jonathan said and took hold of his cup. "Anyway, I need to get to work. I think I might be working late. There's a big deal about to go through and I need to make sure that we have everything in place...so don't wait up."

"Okay," Verity said and Jonathan moved by her again, hand going to her shoulder and squeezing it. She tried not to pull away from his touch, despite it being the only thing she wanted to do. She couldn't stand being close to him. He kissed her on the side of the head again.

"Have a good day, V," Jonathan said, moving towards the door and grabbing his briefcase on the way.

"You too," Verity retorted, watching his retreating figure.

Her husband was a good-looking man. She wasn't going to deny that. He still had the same charm about him that she'd seen when they'd first met. His hair was black and always neatly brushed, his green eyes glimmered. He had a slim face and was clean shaven with sharp cheekbones. He kept himself fit, claiming it was from playing tennis after work, but Verity suspected it was more from the affair he was having with his secretary after work.

She hadn't confronted him about it. She'd found the texts on his phone. She'd seen the underwear he'd hidden in his drawers that he'd never given to her as a gift. She wasn't surprised. She should have been. She should have been shocked that her husband was able to do this to her: cheat on her. She'd tried to keep him happy. She cook him meals. She'd surprised him with gifts. She'd go to his dinners and hang off his arm, beaming and making an effort to look nice. She worked as a piano tutor, which didn't pay as well as his high-flying job in business, but it had been enough to get her by on her own. It had been enough when she'd been with her first husband who had not once told her that it wasn't a real job and more of a hobby.

She would do private lessons and also go to into schools and teach kids there. She loved it. She loved having a chance to watch their eyes light up when they finally mastered a particular piece of music.

Looking down at the photo of her first husband in the paper, she let out a deep sigh. He looked almost the same as he had done the last time she'd seen him in person when he'd come to find her and tell her that he was sorry. He had been sorry for everything that had happened. He told her that he'd never meant to push her away and he wished that things had been different. She'd told him that things had happened for a reason, but as he'd walked away, she had almost begun to wish that things really had been different.

And it was then when she made her choice to go to the ceremony and see him.

Nervously, she kept tucking her brown hair behind her ears. She hadn't bothered to straighten her hair, letting it hang in waves down her back. She didn't know why she'd spent so long trying to find an outfit that morning. She'd settled on a pleated green skirt, plain black shirt and dark black coat. She tapped her foot nervously, her heeled boot clicking against the floor.

She watched as he moved from the seat he was sat on when his name was announced and he was called to the front. He looked like he was in a world of his own, completely lost in his thoughts. He stood up as the applause began, startling back to reality. He wore a dark suit with a light blue shirt and dark tie. He stood proudly up front and had his photo taken with the Police of Chief who handed him his honour plaque. The memorial ceremony felt like a sombre occasion, the photographs of deceased officers lining a table to the side. There were officers in uniform at the front of the room with members of the press dotted around. The room wasn't big and Verity knew that he was going to see her.

She remained where she was as he took to the podium and began talking. "Thank you. Thank you very much," he said, voice still low and husky. Verity felt her fingers begin to tremble as his eyes scanned the room. They flitted over her and then came straight back when he realised who it was. He went silent for a moment, mouth agape as he drank in the sight of his ex-wife. She gave him a soft smile and an almost encouraging nod of her head. He coughed into his fist and then continued with his speech.

"Throughout this ordeal, if we've learned anything it's that human life is sacred and we've learned that every day…life should be cherished," he said and his eyes moved to Verity once more. "Justice is the true backbone to any peaceful society…and I believe that true justice has been served. I want to honour the officers who laid down their lives…and I want to say how grateful I am to be here today…how I will cherish life every day."

He gave a nod, indicating his speech was done. He wasn't a big talker and he doubted anyone would mind. He stepped down from the podium and tried to navigate his way to the back of the room and towards Verity, but officers kept stalling him, congratulating him and offering him their best wishes. He thanked them, accepting the pats on the back before he saw that she had gone. Looking at where she'd been stood, he shook his head and moved from the room. He headed to the hallway and saw her retreating figure moving to the car park.

He jogged to catch up with her, finally reaching her as she stood by a silver car, fishing around in her purse for her keys.

"Verity!" he called her name.

She knew that she wasn't going to get away without a conversation now. She peered up and looked over the roof of the car as he approached, arms flapping by his side and face unreadable.

"You weren't going to stick around?" he asked from her.

"I…I didn't know if you'd want me to," Verity replied. "I don't even know why I came…I mean…we're…"

"I'm glad you did," he said, answering honestly and their gaze met and he felt that familiar pang in his chest he always did whenever he saw her. He tried to keep his distance, of course he did. They were no longer married. They were divorced and he'd done things to hurt her that he knew he could never apologise for enough. Then there was the fact that he'd abandoned her when she'd needed him the most.

She had no idea that he knew. He knew exactly what had happened because John had told him, but at the time he'd been too wrapped up in finding solace at the bottom of a bottle. He'd been too wrapped up in his own suffering that he didn't notice that his wife had been going through something so unimaginably painful. And she'd never told him. Had it been to protect him? Was it because she hadn't wanted him to know what had happened?

"I saw what had happened," she said. "I saw that Jigsaw had you…and you escaped…and I just…I just wanted to see that you were okay."

"I'm alright," he assured her. "I got lucky I guess."

"More than lucky," Verity said with a shake of her head as he moved around the car and towards her. She turned her body to follow his movements until he was in front of her. "I was worried, Mark."

"You don't need to worry about me, Verity," he said. "We're not married anymore."

"You going to tell me that you wouldn't worry about me if I'd been kidnapped by some murdering psychopath?"

"I'd never let that happen," Mark retorted quickly. He knew it was almost too quickly.

"You don't know what could happen and don't deflect," she retorted to him and he let out a deep breath, hands going to his hips. He looked down and closed his eyes. Verity watched him, almost wondering what was going on in his mind. She remembered a time when he had been an open book to her, not this seemingly cold man in front of her.

"Of course I'd worry," he said. "It's just that I haven't seen you in ages and it's a shock…you being here."

"I can go…I know you must be busy-"

"-No," he interrupted, stopping her from opening the driver's side of the car. He kept a hand around her wrist and he felt it instantly. It was the same flip of his stomach he always got whenever he touched her. He hadn't felt it in so long. It had always been her. There had never been anyone else. "Maybe we could go and grab a coffee?"

"You really want to go for coffee?" she asked him.

"Wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't mean it."

"And you're sure that you're not busy?"

"I'm on leave for the next few weeks after everything that happened. I only came in today because of the ceremony…I had no other plans for the day," he said and Verity nodded.

"Okay," she said.

He let go of her wrist and extended his arm, indicating for her to move first. She did so and he felt into step next to her. They walked in silence, Verity constantly adjusting the bag on her shoulder and keeping her gaze down. Mark glanced down to her and saw that she'd hardly aged or changed since their divorce. He remembered the first time he'd seen her as a rookie cop on a night out. It had taken him ages to get up the courage to go and talk to her. She hadn't been a natural flirt. In fact, it had taken him a while to get her to warm up to him. It was only when he made some comment about classical music being preferable to the music they were playing in the club did he truly pique her interest.

"How have you been?" Mark decided to break the silence, the diner coming into sight.

"I'm fine," Verity said. "And you? I can't imagine what you went through."

Mark resisted the urge to chuckle. She really did have no idea what he'd gone through. He knew that she'd be horrified if she did know. But then again, maybe she'd understand in time. He knew that he didn't have time though. After today, he suspected he'd not see her for quite some time, if at all.

"It was…testing," Mark settled on saying to her. "I'm just glad I got out and found the kid. I didn't really have a plan…I just kept tugging on the restraints and that was all I thought about."

He held the door open to the diner and Verity headed towards a booth by the window. She slipped onto the leather seat and slid down as Mark took the seat opposite her. He sat back as a waitress came and asked them what they wanted. Verity ordered a coffee and he copied her.

"I just couldn't believe it when I saw that it was you," Verity said once the waitress had disappeared. "I had no idea you were working on this case."

"Only so many detectives willing to work on it," he said, lacing his fingers together and resting his arms on the table. "But we're hoping that it's over now. Jigsaw is gone. We can move on…somehow…anyway."

"I'm always amazed at how strong you are and how you can handle what you see and go through," Verity said and Mark scoffed at that.

"I think we both know I wasn't that strong back when I should have been," he said.

"Mark…losing her…I understand," Verity said but Mark shook his head firmly. He wasn't going to let her do this. She'd made up so many excuses for him in the past. She'd done it for so long until she had finally broken and that was the night their marriage had ended. It was the night she'd told him that she couldn't keep going like they were.

"You don't need to understand, Ver," he said. "What I did and how I behaved towards you was inexcusable. You never deserved that. You never deserved my anger."

"You were grieving," Verity said, looking down as the waitress brought them their coffee and set it down in front of them. Mark thanked her quickly before daring to move his hand over and towards Verity. His large palm engulfed her smaller hand. He felt the engagement band that sat next to her wedding finger. The stone in her new engagement ring was bigger than any he'd given her before. Did she even still have his engagement ring?

"I was an ass," he replied and Verity looked up, trying not to feel overwhelmed by the force of his hand over hers. Their eyes met and Mark's lip curled slightly upward and she laughed softly, nodding her head.

"You know what? I'm not going to disagree with you on that one," she assured him and he chuckled, squeezing her fingers. "But you apologised and that's all that matters now. We're both…we're in different places…"

"And are you still happy with that new husband of yours?" he wondered.

Verity shrugged but offered no verbal response.

He pushed further. "Because you don't look happy…not like how I've seen you when you were happy."

"I don't think I've been that happy in a long time," Verity admitted.

"Me neither."

He still hadn't bothered to let go of her hand. He'd noticed that her fingers had slowly slipped into his though, limbs interlocking and feeling like they fit perfectly. This was all he had ever wanted in his life and he'd ruined it. He'd ruined it and became something unrecognisable.

"Has he hurt you?" Mark dared to question.

Verity shook her head. "Not physically," she promised him. "He's been having an affair for the last six months…maybe eight…I'm not too sure when it started and time just feels irrelevant now."

Mark's eyes widened. "He's cheating on you?" he checked, voice deepening darkly.

"With his secretary. I guess at least he's fitting the cliché," Verity said.

"And you're still with him?"

"It's not that simple."

"What's not simple?" Mark demanded from her. "He's cheating on you with another woman. He's disrespecting you…making you sad…you know that you deserve better than that, Ver."

"And if I don't?" Verity asked from him, cocking her head and feeling the way his thumb brushed over her knuckles, just like it used to when he used to comfort her. "What if this is it, Mark? I can't...I don't want to start over again…not when I…" she trailed off.

Mark arched his brow. "Now when you what?" he pushed her.

She looked him in the eye and wondered where all of this was coming from. Had it been bottled up for so long? She suspected it had been. She knew that Jonathan had never been Mark. She'd never loved him like she had Mark. She'd never loved anyone like she had him. And she'd tried. She'd tried so hard to love Jonathan as much as she had her first husband, but it had never come. She loved him in her own way. He made her laugh. He was funny when he wanted to be. He treated her well.

"It doesn't matter," Verity said. "I should go. I have a lesson at four on the other side of the city that I don't want to be late for."

Her hand left his and she slipped from the booth. Mark sighed in exasperation, pulled out a ten dollar note and left it on the table. He followed Verity from the diner, chasing after her. He caught up with her quickly and grabbed her arm, stopping her from running away.

"Ver, don't run away from me," he urged from her.

"You're my ex-husband, Mark," she said.

"I don't need the reminder," he assured her. "I know I messed up. I know that I did you wrong and I hurt you…and if you think I haven't spent every day regretting that then you're wrong. I didn't value what we had. I took you for granted. I don't want you to stay somewhere you're unhappy because life…it's meant to be lived, alright?"

"You think it's that simple?" she demanded from him. "I don't want another failed marriage."

"So you'd rather stay in an unhappy marriage than leave?" he demanded from her.

"I love Jonathan in my own way. I do. This affair…it won't last."

"How do you know that? You don't, Ver. You're staying with him because you're too scared to get out. You deserve someone who loves you and would never hurt you like that. You deserve someone who can't go a day without thinking about you…without wanting to be with you."

"I thought that was you at one time, Mark," Verity said. "And what we had didn't work, did it? So who is to say that love is enough? Maybe it's not? Maybe the things sold to us in the fairy tales are bullshit."

"Of course they're bullshit," he sniped back. "What we had was real, Ver. It was no fairy tale, but it was real and I know that I fucked it up, alright? I know that and don't you think there's a reason why I never tried to find anyone else? It's because there never was anyone else. I…I tried to find you and apologise…but by the time I'd gotten myself sober, cleaned up and the man you remembered…you'd moved on."

"Too much had happened," Verity said. "The things you said…and…you shut me out. I wanted to be there. I wanted to help you and you never let me. You never let me in…I didn't want it to end, Mark. I loved you. I loved you so much."

"That's the difference, Ver," Mark replied. "I never stopped loving you, not really. It's only ever been you and it only ever will be you. And maybe being strapped to a Jigsaw trap has made me realise it…made me actually speak the truth…but you came down here. You came down here despite knowing I was okay because I'd made it out alive. Surely that means something to you…deep down…I know it has to."

Verity raked a hand through her hair. She looked to the sky, her eyes glimmering with tears. Mark longed to reach for her, pull her into his grip and hold her. He wanted to make things okay. He wanted to make things so much better for her, but he didn't know how to. She had to do it herself. She had to make that choice.

"We can't go back to what we were, Mark," she whispered to him.

"I know that," he said. "But it doesn't mean that we have to live like this…both of us being miserable…knowing how we feel about each other."

"I didn't want to do this today. I didn't."

"Maybe you didn't, but we are," Mark said. "You know me, Ver. I don't bullshit. I give it to you straight and this is me telling you that I never stopped loving you. I just didn't want to come back into your life in case you had moved on…in case you really had found a second chance at happiness."

Mark stepped closer to her then. Reaching out, he moved his hand towards her cheek, slowly cupping it in his grip. Verity felt his thumb sweep over her cheekbone. He drank in her small nose and her plump lips, the way her eyes glistened with tears. He brushed her soft hair out of her face. He didn't want her to disappoint him. He wanted her to cherish her life. He needed her to.

"I still love you," Verity confessed. "I just…I need to get my head around things, okay? I just need some time to think things through. This has all happened too fast."

"Are you going to go back to him?"

"I need to talk to him, Mark."

"You need to leave him. If you don't leave him for me then leave him for yourself…leave him because you're better than this," he demanded from her and she slowly nodded, knowing that he was right. She couldn't keep going like this, despite it being the easiest course of action.

"I'll talk to him," she assured him.

"Okay," Mark said, brushing her hair behind her ear and he felt her move her hands to his forearms, gripping onto him.

"I really didn't come here to do this," Verity assured him and Mark chuckled darkly.

"I know," he said. "But I'm sure as hell glad that you did come. There's a lot I need to tell you…a lot we need to discuss…but not here and not until you're ready."

"Okay," Verity agreed. "I think there's a lot I need to tell you too."

"Just take your time," he urged her, not wanting to tell her that he knew everything anyway. He bent down and pecked her on the forehead. He heard her breath hitch and she leaned in closer to him. Mark felt her move her arms around him then and he wasted no time in wrapping her into his embrace, his hand cupping the back of her head as she buried her face against the crook of his neck. It was then when the tears flowed.

"I was so scared…so relieved when I found out you were okay…I didn't know…I just…" she blabbered.

"Sh, sh, sh," he tried to comfort her. "It's alright, sweetheart. I'm here now."

She continued crying and Mark wondered how long she'd been holding this in for. He closed his own eyes, chin resting on top of his head. He wondered if this was it. Could he have his ex-wife back? Could they ever be happy together? He hoped so. He really hoped so. But he knew that he wouldn't be in this position unless he had met John. He guessed that maybe he did have to thank him after all.

...

A/N: So...completely new here but trying my hand at a fanfic! Thinking that there might be some timeline jumps moving back and forth. Please do let me know if you're interested!