Chapter 4: Talking


Bell's POV

I… I had sex with Haruhime.

It happened out of nowhere really. The confession and the kiss felt like they were a long time coming. I had felt attracted to her for a long time now, and once it happened, she told me she had felt the same since the day we met.

But I never would have imagined Haruhime could be so… bold?

She always seemed very shy about the topic of romance. Maybe that was just because I was the one she was interested in—it still feels weird to think that. I hope I get used to it soon—, but she always seemed skittish and awkward about the topic. The idea that things could have suddenly progressed that fast was crazy to me.

I'll admit in the moment, I went along with it. I was caught up with a lot of feelings after confessing my returned love for her and sharing our second kiss that the idea of further physicality was not something I was resistant to.

Although, I really didn't think things through at all. Not that I really had time to do so with how quickly it was over—I'm kind of embarrassed about that, guys are supposed to last longer I thought. The worst part was having to reckon with the fact that I finished inside her and all the repercussions that would have.

First and foremost, dealing with grandpa. I mean, I'm thankful that he had a solution on hand in the form of herbs used to make a tonic that could prevent unwanted pregnancies if taken shortly after an "accident". He'd left it in Haru's bedroom with a note telling her to take it and what it was for. Thanks to that, the worry that I'd become a dad by the time I was 14 was gone, but he was unbearable with his teasing.

Haruhime had run off the moment she slowed down enough for her thoughts to catch up to her, after which she'd flushed brighter than I'd ever seen before, somehow managing to blush with her entire body before dressing as fast as possible and fleeing back home. By the time she was gone I was still in shock at what had happened.

After a moment, I had made myself decent too, and slowly walked back home, my mind rushing with more thoughts than I could really process at the moment. I was overwhelmed. To be honest, I still am.

It was dark out, and my slow walk home was scored by crickets and dotted with fireflies. There was barely any sun left, so I had to hurry. But I wondered what the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach was.

I realized what the source was the moment I walked through the door and saw my grandpa standing in front of me, chest puffed out, hands on his hips, looking down at me with the biggest, most panic-inducing grin I'd ever seen.

He dropped a hand on my head and spoke. "Bell. My boy. You have truly outdone yourself. I couldn't be more proud!" He declared before ruffling my hair with an unbreakable grip. "Now you're finally a man!" He slapped me on the back and nearly knocked me right over. I stumbled and then saw Haruhime standing in the hall watching the two of us in what seemed to be horror.

The moment I made eye contact her whole face turned red, her neck, her chest, even her arms seemed to be flushing, her blush was so strong.

Then she leaned forward. And she didn't stop. She collapsed to the ground in a heap and didn't get up.

"Haru?!" I remember shouting as I quickly ran over to her, forgetting my previous apprehension. She had fainted.

After that happened, we brought her to bed, and then I ran away from my laughing grandfather and hid in my bed under my covers doing my best to fall asleep.

The present came back into focus and I found myself staring up at my candlelit ceiling absently in the middle of the night. I wasn't successful at falling asleep.

To calm my thoughts I traced the cracks and whorls in the wooden ceiling of my bedroom, trying to think of something other than the tightness in my pants from thinking about what happened.

"Gahhhhh…." I groaned. How was I going to talk to Haru now? I barely even feel like I'd be able to look her in the eye anymore.

I sprawled out as wide as I could on my bed and just lay there for a bit.

I just don't think I'm ready for this.

I mean… I find Haru really attractive, and I love her, but I just don't think I'm comfortable touching her like that. I'm not really comfortable being touched like that either.

It's not that I don't feel comfortable thinking of her in a sexual way. Pretty much every time I've ever touched myself before it was to thoughts of her. But it just feels way too sudden for those kinds of fantasies I've had to be my reality.

The experience felt really good, but… well I don't think it being pleasurable really matters to whether I'm comfortable with it or not.

I took a few deep breaths and climbed out of bed, thankful that my body had calmed down. I flinched slightly when I pulled down my pants to change into pajamas—Haru did that to me—but I quickly finished getting changed and left my room. Haru wasn't there in the hallway. I wonder if she managed to fall asleep.

I need to talk to her about this.

I went to the bathroom and washed up before going to the dining room for a late night snack where I found my grandpa sitting at the table.

Well… This was another conversation I'd need to have.

He was sitting in his chair at the head of the table, back straight, arms crossed, and with a prideful smirk on his face. Already at the table were three bowls of steaming hot porridge each with an accompanying glass of water. Given that we'd already eaten dinner it was a strange sight, but it seemed he expected us to not actually fall asleep if he made it anyway despite us shutting ourselves up in our rooms—Haru while she was unconscious.

In silence I pulled out a chair and took my seat opposite to my grandpa. I looked at him and made eye contact. He still had the same expression on his face. I looked away and took the first spoonful of my porridge. It was bland, but the texture was better than usual.

The awkward silence was getting painful, but my grandpa finally broke it when he accepted that I wasn't going to break it myself. He sighed and released the tension in his body and spoke. "So, Bell. How are you feeling?"

That. That was a pretty simple question. "A bit confused," I said, averting my eyes awkwardly. The silence afterward dragged on painfully.

"Hmm…" Grandpa seemed to be having some trouble talking too. He then suddenly waved his hand sharply in front of him. "Aghhh! Y'know, Bell? This isn't how I thought a conversation with my grandson after he first got laid would go." He exasperatedly said. "It was supposed to be you being embarrassed but happy and I'd pat you on the back and teach you how to treat the girl well in the sack. Then we'd go out for some drinks or something. You know!"

He leaned back, letting the energy he'd just channeled leave him. "C'mon. Tell me what happened. What about losing your virginity has you so down, otherwise I'll never understand."

I suppose it was time for me to respond. "I'm… well… it just happened too fast." I settled on, my voice trailing off into almost a mumble. I looked up to him, but he gestured for me to continue with a 'go on'. I took a breath and did just that. "Haru was really down after the attack in the afternoon. She was…" I searched for the right word, "frustrated that she couldn't help more, and that I had to save her." I thought about it a little more. "It really, really got to her and she started crying, so I tried to figure out what to say to cheer her up." I wasn't really paying attention to grandpa's reactions anymore as I thought back to the events again. "I promised her that we would train together and get strong enough to fight the monsters if they came again." I didn't actually want to give any more details. That promise was really personal and I wanted to keep it private. "After we sealed the promise, she… she told me she loved me." I brought a finger up to my lips, remembering the feeling of the kiss. "I said I loved her too, and she kissed me." I brought my hand back down. "And then she pushed me down, and… yeah."

"So you're telling me, SHE did you, and not the other way around?" He asked, looking at me with a dumbfounded expression.

"Yes."

"Wow. I didn't think she had it in her." He looked like he was about to say something extra, but he kept his mouth hanging open for a moment too long, and then shut it. Knowing grandpa, it was probably some inappropriate comment. I'm glad he has enough tact not to say it in this situation.

After a moment he spoke up again. "Was it… bad or something?"

"Huh?" I should have known he wouldn't ask something serious. "No. Nothing like that! Err… well…" Why is this so hard to do? "I just don't think I'm ready to do that kind of stuff with her. I thought that was supposed to happen later, not right after we confessed to each other."

"But what better expression of love is there than sex?"

I tilted my head in confusion at him. "Are you serious, grandpa?"

"Gah. You're such a romantic, Bell." He looked at me like I was a fool, but I really didn't get it. He put a hand on his chin and stroked his beard. "Look, Bell. What's done is done. You love her, right?"

I looked off toward his side, unable to fully make eye contact. "Yes. I love her."

"Bell. Look me in the eye." I reluctantly did so and was greeted with a surprisingly serious look. "You love Haruhime, yes?"

I nodded. "I… I do. I love Haru."

"Good." He nodded. "Now. Do you regret what happened?"

"I… I wish it could have happened slower." I told him. "Things don't move that fast in the stories. Usually the characters don't have sex until they are married."

"Pshh… Why'd it have to be those lessons that stuck with you? Waiting until marriage is no fun at all. That's no way to live!" He declared passionately.

"Well… Maybe not." I admitted. "It's not like I think I would have waited that long to do it with her, either. Especially since she… well…" I blushed. "Clearly wanted it as well. But, I would have wanted more time to get used to the idea of us being a couple. Sex was supposed to be like… a milestone in our relationship, not the first event."

Grandpa sighed and mumbled under his breath. "With that kind of mindset, he'll never manage to get himself a harem." He shook his head. "What a tragedy." Why was grandpa always so stuck on the idea of harems?

"Well, if that's how you feel, Bell, then all you've got to do is tell her that you aren't ready. Tell her you want to take things slow." The idea seemed to grate on him. "If you both really love each other—and I'm certain you both do just by looking at the two of you—then a bump like having sex before you were ready shouldn't be enough to cause problems for you. Just talk it out with her and I'm sure things will be fine."

"Yeah." I'm not sure why I expected grandpa to have some magical solution to the problem. He was never reliable for emotional advice, especially romantic advice, what with him being a pervert and all that. An unrepentant, repeat offending peeping tom like him probably would have a hard time understanding a boy not wanting to have sex with his new girlfriend right away.

I sighed, and continued to eat my now significantly cooler porridge.

Deciding to talk to Haru about this was one thing. Actually doing it was another.

I'll sleep on it.


Haruhime's POV

I was sitting at the head of my bed, wrapped up in my blanket and sheets, my back against the wooden wall as I hugged my pillow tight to my chest.

I woke up in my bed in the middle of the night, still in my clothes from the evening. My room was dark, but I remember climbing out of bed, removing my night clothes from my chest and changing from memory before climbing back into bed. From there I just lay there trying to figure out what to do with myself.

I couldn't fall asleep. No way. Not with all the thoughts running through my head.

Why did you DO that, Haru?! Things were going so well and then you had to do the one thing to make things more awkward than they'd ever been, you stupid fox!

I squeezed my pillow tighter against myself and let it muffle me as I screamed into it in frustration. My breath warmed the pillow and eventually I had to pull back or else I'd suffocate myself or something.

"Ahahgn…" I whimpered. Why did I have to sound so pathetic?

I just stayed like that for a while, zoning out and trying not to think of anything as all my mind was coming up with was scathing self-criticism that wasn't helping me at all with fixing the situation.

I have no idea how long I spent like that, but eventually I started thinking clearly again. This time trying to rationalize why the heck I did that.

All I could really think of was that I was super emotional at the time. I mean, I would NEVER have had the confidence to do something like that otherwise. Bell had just made me happier than I'd ever been in my life. I'd confessed my love to him, he said he loved me back—HE SAID HE LOVED ME BACK!—and we shared our first kiss. I don't think I'd ever been more overwhelmed with positive emotions in my entire LIFE than I was at that moment. I know I wasn't thinking straight by then… and, well… the last thing I clearly remember about that second kiss of ours was that I felt him getting hard and… I guess whatever instincts I had must have taken over from there.

Ugh… What must Bell think of me now? I must seem like such a pervert, making love right after our first kiss! Like some kind of animal!

Is it an animal person thing?

Or is that me just trying to find another excuse?

I hugged my pillow again and grumbled.

"I need sleep." I said out loud to myself. My mind was all over the place.

I adjusted my position and tried lying down again. I laid down on my side and continued to hug my pillow, using a folded up bit of my blanket to rest my head on for comfort and did my best to doze off.

I wasn't successful.

"Dang it." I mildly cursed. I threw off my sheets and sat dangling my legs over the edge of my bed and looked out my window. Our house was fairly far from the forest edge and a beam of faint bluish moonlight was illuminating a corner of the room. "Maybe I should go for a walk."

I decided to do that and stood up. I walked to my desk and grabbed my lantern. I lit it and blinked a bit as my eyes adjusted to the much stronger light source.

It was then that I noticed the vial of liquid on my desk with a handwritten note. Jove's handwriting.

Haruhime,

Drink this when you wake up.

If Bell finished inside you, then you don't want any accidents.

It's a tonic to prevent pregnancies in situations like this. I have more than enough life experience to vouch for its effectiveness.

Just be sure to take it quickly.

-Jove

I accidentally crumpled the note in my hand as I brought my hand to my chest and desperately tried to suppress my blush. I brought a hand to my belly above my womb and whimpered.

Stupid!

I took the drink and quickly downed it before slipping on a pair of socks and hurriedly speed walking out of my room, my destination set on outside. Anywhere but here.

I wasn't so fortunate though, as when I exited the hall with all of our bedrooms I found Jove sitting in his rocking chair in the living room, lit by a few candles and looking right at me as he stroked his snow white beard.

"Haru. Come and take a seat." He gestured to my usual spot. "We should talk for a bit."

I stayed rooted to my spot just staring at him like a spooked deer.

After an awkward moment I did as he asked and took a seat in my usual spot, doing my best to switch out of my flight response from moments prior.

I couldn't look at him, and so I settled for staring at the flickering flames of the candles on the stand beside him.

He sighed dramatically. "You're just as bad as Bell was when I spoke to him."

"Aaa— W-what do you mean?"

"You know, stuttering like a fool, acting like you've made an unfixable mistake." He flippantly gesticulated with his right hand. "Honestly. You two are teenagers. You made a poor decision while you were horny. It happens all the time. Even to adults—I've certainly made some. You'll be fine. Your relationship will be fine." He said the whole thing with a rather dismissive air, even though he was clearly trying to comfort me. It wasn't working as well as he hoped, I don't think.

I also REALLY didn't really want to think about Jove's poorly made, horny decisions.

After a moment thinking over what he said, I ended up commenting on something other than the actual issue. "You seem to be acting differently than earlier." I noted.

He looked a bit abashed when I said that. "Mmmm. Yeah. I suppose when I figured out what you two got up to, I just assumed your embarrassment was just at being caught and you both enjoyed yourself. Sorry if my teasing was a bit insensitive."

He actually apologized. He doesn't really do that often, even if I've recognized him feeling guilty before. He only ever seems remorseful when I'M the one who catches him doing something perverted. He never really seems sorry if Bell catches him.

"So. Tell me. How are you feeling, Haru?"

Well that was obvious at this point. "I feel stupid."

"Yeah. Teenagers are pretty dumb."

I tilted my head. "Is that… supposed to make me feel better?" I honestly don't know how that was supposed to help.

"Maybe." He said ambiguously. "I'm not too good at these emotional things, and all that teenage angst. But I think slowing down and talking like this will be better for you than running outside in the dead of night in a panic wearing nothing but your nightgown."

He was probably right. "I don't know what else to do. I can't seem to fall asleep."

"Then go talk things through with Bell. It's the only way you two are going to get over this." He seemed pretty exasperated.

"Sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to. In fact I'm not even sure you need to apologize to Bell! Like I said, I'm not too good with all this angst and stuff, but you need to go talk to him."

"I don't even think I can look him in the eye after what I did."

"Haaaaaah…" He exhaled loudly. "Fine." He stood up and left the room.

Wait. What is he doing?

I heard a knock down the hall. "Bell! I'm coming in!" I heard him shout and then I heard frantic noises from Bell's bedroom down the hall.

Oh no. Oh no. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready at all!

But Jove was already fed up with us and a few moments later he dragged a disheveled, pajama-wearing Bell down the hall and into the room.

Bell appeared to have been sleeping and looked completely frazzled as he stared at me with wide eyes and a blush on his face. I'm sure I was no better with the awful blush I was feeling and the butterflies in my chest.

Jove gave him a shove forward into the room. "You two sort yourselves out now. I'm going to bed and better not wake up to find you two still making a fuss about this." He waved his hand and walked away, leaving Bell and I alone in the living room.

The silence was painful. Just as I expected we couldn't even make eye contact. We hadn't even moved, and minutes had passed. I could hear our nervous breathing, and was hyper-aware of my pulse. At the very least, my blushing had been reduced to just a slight warmth.

I spoke first. "I-I…" I heard him shift as I started to speak and I hesitated. "I-I'm sorry, Bell." I apologized in little more than a whisper. "I… don't know what got into me. I… didn't mean to go that far."

There was silence for a few painful moments before he responded. "It's… okay." He said. "I forgive you. I was just… not ready… to do that."

"Mmm."

We stayed silent for a bit longer as I tried to build the courage to look up and face him. But before I managed to do so, I heard him take a step closer. I looked up on instinct and we made eye contact. "Umm…" He stopped his approach. "Can I come closer?"

"Y-yeah." He wasn't avoiding me. That was good, right? "Bell?"

"Yeah, Haru?" He asked as he stopped a couple steps away from me.

"Do you think I'm a pervert?" I bluntly asked. I needed to know. I felt so dirty after what I did. Not because of him! But just because what kind of normal girl would do that? Jove did try to tell me that this kind of stuff was normal for teenagers, but he's a confirmed pervert, so I don't trust his opinion on that.

"No!" He vehemently denied. "You're fine! I don't think you're a pervert or anything, it's just… I never expected you could be so… that bold." He shook his head as he said this. I made eye contact all the while to try to verify the truth of his words. He didn't seem to be lying. But he was Bell. Of course he wasn't lying.

I sighed and released the breath I was holding. "Okay." I took a moment to think over what to say next. "When we were… kissing, I remember noticing your… yeah… and… I… kind of stopped thinking from that point onward." I averted my eyes a few times as I spoke, but ended my sentence facing him. "I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back."

"It's… alright." He looked to the side, seemingly in thought. "It wasn't bad."

"Huh?!" What did he mean by that?!

"Like… I don't regret that it happened. It would have been nicer if it was more traditionally romantic, and like…" He moved his mouth back and forth a few times, debating on his words. "Sensual, or something… But if I was totally against it or something, I wouldn't have let you do it. You didn't like… violate me or something."

That actually was one of my worries. We didn't really talk about what was okay or what wasn't, and I definitely didn't ask him if he wanted to do it with me before going on ahead. I didn't even ask MYSELF if it was what I wanted. "Bell…" I said his name. I didn't really know what to say next though. We just stared at each other's faces for a while. "Can I hug you, Bell?"

He nodded and closed the distance, wrapping his arms around me. I reciprocated and embraced him as well. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and just relaxed into the hug. It felt nice. Just… hugging. "This is nice." I told him as much. I felt him nod against me.

We stayed like that in silence for a while. Just hugging. He was so warm. I could feel his frame, still about the same size as mine. I wonder how much bigger than me he'll be when we grow up? He tightened his grip around me a bit. "I love you, Haru." I could feel myself blush again, more gently this time than previous times, though.

"I love you too, Bell." It felt so nice to say. To just be open and honest about my love and be told I was loved in return. I wanted to stay like this longer.

And so we did. Until Bell spoke again. "Haru?"

"Yes, Bell?"

He cleared his throat and pulled back slightly so he could face me. I could see a slight reddening to his face even in the dim candlelight. "Can I kiss you?"

"Aa—" He… wanted to kiss me again. I looked at his eyes, swimming with emotion as they were, I was sure mine told just as much to him. "Yes." I quickly said, and he pressed his lips against mine in response. I closed my eyes and kissed back with gentle, slow movements of my lips.

We pulled away from each other after a moment and locked eyes again. I wanted to kiss him again, and I could see the same in his eyes. This time it was me who closed the distance.

We repeated this who even knows how many times, just hugging, and kissing, and slipping in spoken words of love here and there. It was so peaceful, so quiet. It was nice. I think I liked this more than the intensity of our first kiss and my subsequent overstepping.

Bell spoke to me again during a longer gap between our kisses. "Haru?"

"Mmm?"

"Can this be our relationship for a while? Just hugs and kisses?" He asked. He was so sincere and cute when he asked this. Gods, I love him.

"Sure. That sounds lovely." I nuzzled against him. In the stillness, the involuntary wagging of my tail stood out and let out a short giggle in response. Gosh, now I was laughing too.

I yawned. Right. I came out of my room because I couldn't fall asleep. Now that I'd calmed down and we'd sorted out our feelings my exhaustion was catching up to me.

"You want to go to sleep, Haru?" He asked, I pulled back from him to look at his face and could see him giving me an indulgent smile. A glint from the candles behind me was visible in his red eyes. He was actually kind of pretty. Or handsome, I mean handsome!

"Uh… yeah. I probably should. I'd been tossing and turning in my bed for ages once I woke from my fainting spell." I hadn't had a fainting incident in so long since I started eating properly again. Although I did have a few in the beginning.

He nodded and released me from our super long hug. I felt a bit cold without him there. Although the warmth of the summer night's air did do something to alleviate that.

Bell took my hand and we walked to the hall. He spoke. "But… I don't think we should try sleeping in the same bed for a while."

I stared at him, scandalized by the suggestion. Although in retrospect after everything that had happened the scandalization was probably a bit hypocritical. "Huh?! No! No! I wasn't thinking that at all!" That was the honest truth.

He squeezed my hand in response. "Sorry! Sorry. I just wanted to make sure. Hugs and kisses only, yeah?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah." I hugged him. I kissed him goodnight and we separated to go to our separate rooms.

"Goodnight, Bell."

"Goodnight, Haru."

When I settled into bed again a minute later, sleep came much more easily.


Author's Notes:

I was originally going to include them receiving their falna from Zeus and beginning their training right after this scene with a little juxtaposition to them the next day, but this felt like a good place to stop. 4800 words was long enough in my opinion.

I did sort out how I want Bell and Haruhime's magic and skills to work for the most part. I just need some time to touch up the formatting of the statuses and streamlining the description of their skills. If any of you read the old deleted chapter Brighter, Haru's magic is similar to that, but simplified to remove all the technical crap that would be more suited to a video game than a novel series. That number stuff would be a humongous pain to write consistently.

I'm going to start writing the next chapter later today and over the weekend, although I do have a homework assignment to do first. I'm super glad this chapter didn't take ages to come out. 2 weeks is a very reasonable time frame in my opinion.