-I've made that same mistake myself once, but no. Extreme prejudice means killing the enemy as violently and brutally as possible. I leave the actual amount of prejudice to your discretion.-
Soldier, educating Grey Knights at the finest points of the Art of War.
"Ugh, what in the Emperor's name happened?" Inquisitor Sera Lombartie of the Ordo Malleus, psyker and loyal servant of the Imperium, faced a lot of adversities from a young age. Orphaned due to a daemonic invasion to her home world, name of which she does not want to remember, took under the wing of an inquisitor and trained under the imperial doctrine as a sanctified psyker. She learned that an old acquaintance, inquisitor Cadmus, was once again on escort duty for yet another mechanicus tech priest who was looking to make a name for himself in one more vain attempt to open the 'Monkey-nautics' vault. As an inquisitor, it is obvious that she has little downtime and few chances to blow off some steam, especially after her latest assignment. Using it to pester old Calinicos for yet another failed babysitting mission was a sure way to feel better after purging chaos cults across 3 planets for the last 2 years. She walked alone, her inquisitorial rosary ready to show to the guards, but they were too deep in enthusiastic conversation:
"I am telling you, there's got to be weapons in the vault." One guard said:
"And why would they spend so much effort in building such a sturdy structure just to store weapons inside? They must have STCs inside. Hence the cog boy in the vault." The other answered. Now that drew Sera's attention. Did they finally open it, or she was mistaken? Quickly, she marched to the stationed troops, who quickly stood at attention:
"Madame inquisitor. We weren't aware that another one was coming. Although, taking into account that the vault has been opened, it is logical to send additional reinforcements." One of the guardsmen explained. So the old coot finally did it, a surprising, but not unwelcome, turn of events:
"Who else knows about this?" She asked, making the soldier scratch the back of his head:
"Inquisitor Cadmus, that tech priest, whatever his name is, and my platoon as far as I am aware, kept vox silence ever since. No leaks, we all served under the inquisitor for at least a decade, except the cog boy." He assured. Sera took all the details in. Scars and mannerisms betrayed combat experience and reduced feelings of fear, equipment sturdier and more expensive than what the average guardsman could buy. Not few among the Inquisition were aware of 'The old softie', an impressive achievement considering the Inquisition's decentralised structure and lack of mercy. Cadmus got that nickname because he preferred to take guardsmen and other low class citizens to work for him instead of mercenaries or martial members of noble houses, despite their obviously higher competence. Of course, they all seemed trained to an acceptable standard, also veterans from emperor knows how many conflicts and they didn't screw up in any way or another, so maybe, JUST MAYBE, there was some merit to his methods, not that she would ever admit it, of course:
"There's too few of you to adequately protect this site. I am calling additional reinforcements. I suggest you be on your best behavior." The female inquisitor warned:
"Sure, sure, we all know the drill." The other guard replied, seemingly uncaring. Sera's eye twitched slightly, pulled out her bolt pistol and levelled it to his face:
"I suggest you learn how to address your superiors with proper respect pleb." She threatened. Who did that guardsman think he was, talking to a loyal servant of the Emperor in such an uncouth manner? Both guards looked at her with the most neutral, unimpressed face they could muster, guns lowered:
"With all due and respect madame inquisitor,
each and every one of us guardsmen is a combat veteran of at least 3 decades. Daemons, Orks, xenos, heretics and whatever else this galaxy holds, we faced it and came out alive. It will take something more than a bolt pistol in the face to scare the likes of us. In fact, I remember fondly what happened the last time you killed one of our own, how is the back by the way?" He asked with a slight smirk, making the inquisitor's face turn red from anger and shame.
(Deadpool) Oooohh, that sounds spicy, what happened, give me the details author.
(Author, me) No.
(Silly Deadpool) But author-sama...
(Author, again me) I said NO. Stop sniveling you little shit.
(Serious Deadpool) Here we go again...
(Author, still me) Mute mode activated. This will get messy.
(A few minutes later...)
(Author, you guessed it, me) Whoo, that was cathartic, back to the story then.
"Hmph, like I would waste a perfectly good bolt shell on the likes of you." She turned to her heel, holstering her bolt pistol, the Grey Knights following close by. Some of them gave slight nods to the guardsmen, a silent acknowledgement to their courage, despite their attitude. Entering the ancient vault did manage to give the Grey Knights slight goosebumps, it isn't every day that you can access human secrets and technologies older than the Imperium itself:
"Brother chaplain, the vault is pure and secure. No sign of inquisitor Cadmus or his tech priest though." Paladin Brocius reported to chaplain Georg, leader of the squad. The Grey Knight paladins, some of the Imperium's finest warriors rarely ventured away from their home base on Titan. Given their close proximity to Luna and the exceptional circumstances however, the high paladin allowed a squad to accompany the inquisitor:
"No reason to worry, they must be deeper inside. If you want to look around feel free, just do not damage anything. It is not every day we are blessed with witnessing the insides of a vault which holds ancient human artifacts older than the Imperium itself after all." The chaplain allowed them to look around, choosing to stand guard himself. Not that there were any attacks expected, as Luna was a fortress world, but alertness and caution was always required in this line of work:
"Hey, is that what Holy Terra used to look like? It's all blue and green, very little gold." 2 paladins gathered around a big map:
"Look at this, spheres of influence, nuclear stockpiles, troop positions, looks like a war was afoot." The other said:
"Mann Co. Is it a manufactorum name?" 2 other paladins were reading the old, still in mint condition, magazines. Despite their big fingers, the Grey Knights had little trouble turning the pages:
"We sell products and get in fights, sounds like a small arms and personnel armor manufactorum." The second answered. Most of the product names made little sense to the Grey Knight duo, but the descriptions and images helped:
"Rocket launchers, shotguns, autoguns, stubbers, flamers, oh, and melee weapons too. A most productive manufactorum indeed." The third confirmed:
"Hey, is it a weapons list you found back there? Bring it here." 2 other Grey Knight paladins were standing in front of a wall with a wide assortment of weaponry, carefully trying not to damage them:
"Let's see... Liberty Launcher, Pomson 6000, Panic Attack, Machina, oh, this one is nice."
He heaved up an enormous multi barreled heavy stubber:
"Hmm, heavier than I thought, must be at least 100 kilograms." He added:
"Careful brother, these weapons are loaded."
A paladin warned:
"Ah, there is the name of the weapon. Brass Beast minigun. Weights 210 kilograms and fires high grade armor piercing .50 caliber BMG custom tooled cartridges at... 10000 rounds per minute." The reading paladin said, slightly dumbfounded:
"By the Emperor, a beast in appearance and power. A mighty fine weapon indeed." Except chaplain Georg, who remained at the entrance, and paladin Brocius, who accompanied the inquisitor, the rest of the squad gathered around the gun racks.
(Author) Look at them, happier than fat kids at a candy store. Seriously though, we all know how isolated our armored boys are. They do not leave their fortress monasteries for anything else other than missions, let them have their bit of fun. Besides, if you read the previous chapter, their little field trip will take a turn towards the painful and humiliating.
The 6 paladins looked and tried to hold every gun on display, except the small ones naturally, giving comments about things like power, range, caliber and appearance. They all concluded that despite their relatively ramshackle appearance, which reminded of a certain greenskinned race of fungus based lifeforms, the weapons were very sturdy and well made, as proven by a paladin who gripped an entrenching tool too tightly, yet to his relief, failed to damage it:
"Golden throne on Terra, this Mann Co. manufactorum really knew how to make reliable and resilient equipment. No dents, minimal scratches and no rust at all. This is a truly blessed day."
"Brothers, come quickly! You will not believe what lies in this room!" The voice of paladin Brocius boomed from the other room. The entire squad left whatever they were doing and rushed in, guns ready, only to come at a grinding halt:
"There are humans in these tubes, they are alive!" Paladin Brocius was nearly shaking with excitement, his battle brothers shocked beyond belief. Rightly so because no amount of mental training or discipline could ready them for such a discovery:
"Yes, yes, it truly is a magnificent discovery, but there is no use keeping them on ice. Old Cadmus freed one of them and seems to have no issues so far. I am going to free them, if they prove hostile knock them out. Would be a real pity to lose all that valuable information they most definitely hold." The inquisitor activated the machine to release the other mercenaries. In 5 seconds they were all free and in the process of getting their bearings. The helmeted one took a good look to them and shouted:
"ROBOTS!" Even to the enhanced eyes of the astartes, he charged so fast that they failed to stop him. The result, paladin Brocius was pummeled to the ground hard enough to crack his power armor and cause an indentation to the floor. Before the others could react, another paladin took a large, meaty fist on his face, and was sent through a wall:
"NOW IS COWARD ROBOT KILLING TIME, YAAAAAH!" The big, bald man bellowed and lifted another 'robot' in the air. The few shots that hit the red clad humans seemed to cause far less damage than they should and their injuries healed within seconds, clothes included. The fight soon devolved into a vicious brawl, if you could call it that, it was more of a whack-a-space marine than an actual fight. Inquisitor Lombartie, in an extraordinary feat of rational thought unaffected by fanatisism and hatred, decided to hightail it and call for additional reinforcements:
"Not so fast mademoiselle." That was the last thing she heard before feeling a sharp pain on the back of her neck...
(Back to the present, and a little bit further...)
"Ah, you are finally avake fraulein. Are you hurt?" A white robed man, with a 'krieg?' accent, who was pointing a strange tubular device on her, cheerily responded. She also saw the grey knights getting their armors repaired by a yellow helmeted man who was similarly dressed with the other mercs:
"Okay, give it a try now." He said, as chaplain Georg rotated his shoulder:
"My thanks." He answered, sulking a bit at being defeated by the ancient humans:
"So, what happens now? We are out of freezer after long time. Robots are dead and we are out of job." The heavy questioned the other members of the team. They glanced at each other, then looked at Cadmus, who gathered his thoughts and announced to everyone:
"This is a situation previously unheard of. Humans from long before the Imperium, people who fought against abominable intelligences and Emperor knows what other horrors, if your films are to be believed. Humanity is facing a lot of threats, internal and external and needs people capable of combating them. My question is, are you willing to take up arms in her defence once again?" Cadmus knew that he had to utilise all of his charisma to gain the allegiance of these mercenaries. It became abundantly clear that threats, intimidation and use of lethal force would lead only to disaster. He also took care to appeal to their sense of wanting to protect humanity, not the Imperium, as these men owed no allegiance to it. The lanky mercenary wearing a hat and yellow tinted glasses raised his hand:
"Are we getting paid for this?" The sniper asked, murmurs of agreement following shortly after. Completely unsuprising, they are mercenaries after all:
"As an inquisitor of the Imperium of Mankind, I have access to resources. If you accept to work for me, you will naturally be compensated appropriately." They seemed to be satisfied about the answer, speaking in hushed tones things like 'Finally', 'About time' and similar stuff:
"Question. Who are the namby-pamby maggots that threaten America and the rest of humanity?" The one wearing a helmet spoke. How in the Emperor's name can he see with that thing on?:
"Many enemies. Xenos, daemons, traitors, heretics, there is no shortage of them." Cadmus' answer seemed to raise a few heads:
"Pardon the interruption. Xenos as in xenomorphs or aliens in general?" The one wearing the ski mask interjected:
"I mean aliens in general, but judging by your question, you have faced xenos too." Cadmus, and the grey knights, felt a chill on their spines. Did the xenos manage to set foot on Holy Terra so long ago? What damage did they cause:
"Woah, hold your questions for a bit boys. Let's get back to the film room so that mister Cadmus and the others here can see what we can do." The engineer, ever the diplomat, recommended, earning affirmative answers from everyone. As they moved back inside, ignoring the space marine sized hole on the wall, they saw tech priest Aughton kneeling in front of one of the Engineer's tier 1 turret:
"Why are you not listening o blessed ancient machine? Are the rites not to your liking? Is the blessed machine oil not adequate? The tech priest was practically kneeling in front of the machine, applying oils and praying. The engineer put his hand on Cadmus' shoulder:
"This isn't going to work partner. My tech is all mechanical and analogue. Your hacking isn't going to work with any of our tech. Still, why all that kneeling and praying, it's just a turret." The Engineer knows this Aughton fella is in some sort of machine worshipping cult, but seriously? It's just a machine, not a deity:
"Uhh, what the heck? Is that dude right in his head?" The Scout asked. Some other mercs shrugged:
"Don't be so rude boys, I will explain everything. So, we are about 38000 years in the future. Humanity is spread far across the galaxy in many planets but also has many enemies...
A long explanation later...
"...and that's it, all I was informed of at least."
The Engineer finished. The other mercenaries listened intently, not showing much emotion:
"So, the daemons are not only on Earth?" The Heavy asked:
"What? Chaos daemons existed on Holy Terra during your time?" Inquisitor Sera asked:
"Yeah, there was that crazy wizard Merasmus, the 2 Mann brothers, a bunch of cults and a scientist who tried to build an upside down version of the pyramids. These idiots tried to barter with supernatural forces, but they are long dead so no worries." The Sniper said:
"AND WE ALSO WENT INTO HELL TO KILL DAEMON MAGGOT SCUM! AND WE KILLED THEM ALL GOOD!" The soldier shouted:
"Aye, the angry red ones, the filthy green ones, the crazy blue ones, none o' them was spared. These were the good ol' times, no wee worries for collateral damage, no civies, just me and the boyos, lots of guns and a whiff of the ol' brimstone, HA HA!" The demoman finished with a laugh and took a swig from his bottle:
"Did... did you go into the Warp? And came out unscathed?" One of the Grey Knights asked:
"Vell yes, several times. Actually, ve had to develop proper countermeasures first. Nothing that I and my hard hatted freund here couldn't handle of course." The Medic said:
"If you don't believe us, you can see for yourselves." The masked man called Spy said in an accent that sounds a lot like Mordian:
"Yeah, watch how awesome I and the others are." The Scout added. The 2 Inquisitors and the Grey Knights look at each other while the techpriest nods his head enthusiastically, more because he wanted to see the film machine in action again.
Deadpool: "2 hours later...
Yeah, I did it! I mastered the Spongebob narrator voice! Wait, what? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY CAN'T HEAR ME? Oh, written, bummer... 'sad Deadpool noices...'"
"And that is how we do it men." The Soldier finished. The footage showed how the 9 mercenaries fought Chaos Daemons both within and outside the Warp. Even on the surface of Holy Terra so many millennia ago. The men and woman of the Imperium were beyond shocked. These 9 men practically saved Holy Terra from annihilation by the forces of the dark gods. Through science, grit and skill they accomplished the impossible several times over. Abominable intelligences, chaos daemons, other humans, xenos, these 9 red clothed mercenaries faced everything and came oit on top. Even death seems unable of holding these men back, as the are revived a bit later, even after total atomization. The Grey Knights knelt in reverance in front of the now confused mercs:
"Uhhh, what is this? What are you doing?" The Engineer asked:
"We show you due respect, for saving Holy Terra from the forces of Chaos som many years ago. We salute you for giving the mankind the chance to continue existing."
The Grey Knights stayed in a one knee position and their heads bowed:
"No need for all this, we just did our jobs. We are professionals after all." The Sniper said, uncomfortable to this bowing and kneeling stuff:
"Get up maggots, real soldiers don't bow, they salute. Except God, they do bow to god and WE ARE NOT GOD! NOW GET UP, ON YOUR FEET SOLDIERS!" The Soldier, being the freedom loving lunatic he is, despised almost all forms of worship, except God. And thus, he decided to give an impromptu lesson of proper military etiquette to the Grey Knights...
One hour later...
While the now fully armed and fully equipped mercs, with the exception of Pyro who was busy checking his flamethrowers, flare guns, axes and other weapons, and the Soldier who was teaching the finer points of the Art of War to the Grey Knights, the other 7 mercs were discussing with inquisitor Cadmus the deal of how they will work under his employment. They had no issue with the working environment, sharing some of their tech, the money and accomodations were decent. Of course, the golden throne, the most widely accepted type of currency within the Imperium of Man was mostly acceptable on the most developed worlds. Still, Cadmus promised that he is able to procure currency that can be used to other worlds too. Another issue was the working hours. Instead of actual working hours, there were mission times and relaxation times. Still, the mercs had little problem with this, as they worked 24/7 and with no pay during the Robot Wars:
"I do believe this deal is the best possible." The Spy said:
"Aye, and the pay is good. All the explosives and liquor I will buy..." The Demoman added:
"Forget the explosives, there are so many aliens out there, I am going to collect so many samples, conduct so many experiments, muahahahaha..." The Medic was giddy at the prospect of collecting xeno test subjects once again. After so many years of fighting robots, the insane man of medicine had the chance to practice his questionable form of science with little to no oversight and good equipment to boot:
"Yo doc, cut it with the experimentation crap, you're creeping me out." The Scout said, still remembering the pingeon that the Medic accidentaly forgot inside the Bostonian's chest years ago. The Scout was more eager at meeting the ladies of the 41st millennium. Entire battalions of those battle nuns called Sisters of Battle? The young loudmouth had no qualms with signing in for this. As he is practically a hero of the Imperium, he will have no problem finding a lady for him, or several:
"Look at you, bartering for the survival of humanity, you should be ashamed of yourselves." Inquisitor Sera couldn't keep quiet any longer. How dare they talk and negotiate the price of them assisting the Imperium while they should have wholeheartedly devoted themselves to the cause? If it wasn't for their strength and nigh-unkillability, Sera would have these madmen in chains, drugs and control collars for the rest of their lives:
"Now missy, need we remind you that we are battle hardened mercenaries? Our skill and expertise doesn't come cheap. Also, we follow the old rule that if you're good at something never do it for free." The Engineer calmly reasoned:
"Yes. Also, we don't make deal with you. We make deal with him." The towering Heavy pointed his thumb over his shoulder to inquisitor Cadmus while staring down at the female inquisitor. Sera huffed and left, knowing she had no chance of winning. She saw how the Pyro was tinkering with one of his many flamethrowers, producing small and controlled piffs of flame. The Pyro didn't pay any attention to Sera at all. Sera then saw how that crazed lunatic somehow managed to turn the Grey Knights into his disciples. They were all lined up at attention and listening to his every word:
"And remember men, if fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight." The soldier said:
"YES SIR!" The Grey Knights loudly replied:
"The Sun Tzu way states that war is brutal, cruel and utterly without mercy. So, in order to be good at war you must embrace it.":
"YES SIR!":
"Pay heed, for whether you fight alone or with your squad, you always serve the whole of humanity. Your fellow marines, your fellow soldiers and your fellow humans, you fight for them.":
"HOO-RAH!":
"And don't forget your motto. Hit hard, hit fast, hit often. Eliminate your enemies with extreme prejudice. Any questions?" A lone Grey Knight paladin raised his hand. After the Soldier gave him permission to talk, he spoke:"
"Sergeant-Major, do you want us to be rasists to our enemies?" He asked. The Soldier just shook his head with a chuckle:
I've made that same mistake myself once, but no. Extreme prejudice means killing the enemy as violently and brutally as possible. I leave the actual amount of prejudice to your discretion."
He answered. Back on Earth, Barrister Doe, aka the Soldier, reached the rank of Sergeant Major in the United States Marine Corps. Despite his loud and aggressive demeanor, he trained a lot of people into becoming robot killing machines with great success. Sure, he may be a bit crazy and overzealous, but he is not stupid. Plus, he was so happy when he heard that there are still marines around. Sure, they call themselves Space Marines, or Adeptus Astartes, but a marine is a marine, an offence specialist best at establishing footholds at enemy ground, strong, tough and brave:
"I hope you onow what you are doing Cadmus, for all our sakes." Sera said as she left, taking along the Grey Knights, who marched in a single file while singing.
Meanwhile, in da warp...
The chaos gods noticed what was happening on Luna through the eyes of a human psyker named Sera Lombartie. They all spent some power to peer over there discreetly and without alerting the Corpse Emperor. The reactions were mixed. Khorne liked that Team Fortress is back, as he knows that were they go, blood flows and skulls amass. Tzeentch is curious of what the return of Team Fortress means, as these mortals are no mere mortals. They know how to cheat death and avoid being gripped by fate. Tzeentch hates that they have no control over them, yet at least, but wants to see what kind of change they will brimg in the galaxy. Nurgle is sad because the coming times will probably bring hipe to the Imperium due to Team Fortress and their inventions. Slaanesh wasn't born when Team Fortress was active, but would like to take them as slaves. One thing is for sure, times are going to get crazy.
Finally, after years another chapter is out. I apologize for being so late but I didn't really know how to proceed. It may take me some time but I now have a basic plan of how to continue writing this.
