Don't review. This is a true story so there's no point asking me to make improvements. I'm a real person talking about real events, not just some author.

Wednesday September 2nd 1992: My first day of Classes at Hogwarts.

We had our class timetables handed out by the teachers at breakfast. To my dismay, double Potions, with none other than Professor Snape, was the very first class of my Hogwarts life. To make matters worse, it was with the Slytherins, which meant Avery and co were bound to try and cause us some misery. Demelza and I were determined not to let this happen however, well, not directly them on us anyway. I doubted we could stop Snape trying to bully us, especially with my surname.

We made sure we were the last ones there to avoid the evil trio, and sat as far as possible from them on the far side of the room. As soon as Snape entered, he said "Settle down" although there was no need for this, his reputation was enough for his mere presence to silence a class. After taking the register, these words left his mouth, and I got the feeling that he said the exact same to every first year:

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through the human veins, bewitching the minds, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even stopper death — if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach". He paused. "Can you repeat everything I just said please, Robins?"

My stomach dropped, how could one of us be put under pressure like this so early? But then I remembered that this was Professor Snape. Demelza however, came up with a really witty reply.

"Can you repeat everything I just said please Robins?" she said. The Gryffindors burst out laughing. Snape, however, did not find it amusing, unsurprisingly, and immediately became much nastier.

"10 points from Gryffindor, I do not tolerate lack of attention or cheek in my class! (even though Demelza was watching him the whole time, how was she supposed to remember a whole speech like that?) Weasley, tell me, what is the most effective antidote to most poisons?"

How the actual fuck was I supposed to know that? I didn't memorize the whole booklist over the summer! I wasn't about to say this out loud though, despite being sorely tempted.

Instead, I said "I don't know sir" calmly and quietly.

Snape shook his head. "Well, let's try another one of you then, shall we. Bagman, what's the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?"

"One is the clothing of a monk and the other is something that really annoys a wolf?" Amy replied. Another loud laugh from the Gryffindors.

"Another 10 points from Gryffindor, and the next person to try witty remarks like that will receive detention!"

How about you don't set us up by asking difficult questions at the very start of the first class then? I thought.

"Bagman, your famous uncle does not immune you from punishment, so you will be very sorry indeed if you upset me again! Creevey, name me 2 potions which commonly arise on the first year exam!"

"I don't know sir" said Colin, and he looked pretty intimidated.

"Deary me, I thought Gryffindors were dim, but this is a new low". It was now the Slytherins turn to laugh.

I was seething. How the fuck, how the actual fuck could he expect Colin Creevey, a muggle born of all people, to know what would be set on a Wizarding Exam in September?! I stood up, ready to give Snape a piece of my mind, but Demelza dragged me back down.

"Mate, it's not worth it, I've just found that out the hard way and forced it on you, Amy and Colin"

"He's being such a bullying twat"

"I know, I know but it'll just get worse for us"

I reluctantly sat back down.

"Wise move, Robins" said Snape. "For your information, Weasley, the most effective antidote to most poisons is a bezoar, a stone taken from the stomach of a goat. We have these in stock here, but as not everyone in the wizarding world has access to them, this year we will also cover making an antidote potion to common poisons, and an uncommon poison antidote will be taught to you in later years. Bagman, Monkshood and Wolfsbane are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Creevey, 2 potions that commonly arise on the first year exam, are the cure for boils, which we shall be making today, and the forgetfulness potion, which is commonly forgotten about, the irony of which is not lost on me. Well, why aren't you all copying that down?"

There was a sudden mad rush for quills and ink. Snape gave us 10 minutes to copy down all those facts before he set us up making the cure for boils. I really felt it was fitting that this was the first potion we cover, seeing what Avery was covered in. In the end, I let my temptation get the better of me. Halfway through making the potion, I stood up and called out to Avery from across the room.

"Oi, Avery, your face could do with some of this applied to it"

Everyone's head turned, not towards Avery though, but towards me. I was confused at first, but then I turned around and saw that Snape's face was barely an inch from mine.

"Detention Weasley. Yes, on your first day, and I thought your family could sink no lower. What a pity, old Ronald had a howler from Mummy at breakfast this morning, and now it's his poor little sister's turn."

The biggest laugh of the lesson by far now came from the Slytherins, and I could see that Avery, Mulciber and Yaxley all had their heads shaking on the desks. Demelza also had her head in her hands but for a very different reason. I swore aggressively under my breath and then slammed myself back into my seat, fuming. The rest of the lesson progressed in silence, and I ended up rendering my potion useless in my anger. Snape held me back at the end of class to arrange my detention.

"A zero for your potion then, and a detention. My word, even Potter didn't do anywhere near this badly in his first class with me, and that's really saying something. It would also be good for you to remember that Avery's boils are a result of a birth defect and they cannot be magically cured, therefore there is nothing that she can do about them. The potion we covered today only applies to those gained through other means. Tonight, you will be helping Argus Filch, the caretaker, clean the corridors on the third floor, without magic. Meet him there at 9pm, do you understand me?".

"Yes sir" I replied, then I hurried away before he could punish me any further.

Following a short break, we had Herbology, and thankfully we Gryffindors were with the Hufflepuffs for this class. This one progressed with little incident thankfully, and I got to see first hand some of the Devil's Snare which Harry, Ron and Hermione had encountered back in June. Next, we headed to Defence Against the Dark Arts, and I was looking forward to this the most, as it was finally time for me to be proved right about Lockhart.

As we lined up outside, Demelza and Colin were doing their best to dissuade me from my theory.

"Come on Gin, Lockhart is a genius, I'm sure he's about to show us some brilliant stuff. I particularly love the way he defeated the Bandon Banshee, by tricking it into falling off that cliff, so clever!" said Demelza.

"Yeah Ginny, the guy is amazing, did you know that he got me a double signed photo of me with him and Harry earlier, would you like me to see if I can get you one?"

If that had been what Colin thought would get me on his side, he was very wrong. Even though he shared the same general opinion of Lockhart as Demelza, this was too much even for her, and we decided to go to the back of the line to get away from him. Weird, weird boy, Harry must surely have found him so irritating!

We then entered to a horrible sight. The entire classroom was decorated with huge pictures of Lockhart, smiling and waving at the camera. He then entered himself from the door opposite to the way we came in.

Me, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award — but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

"Self obsessed much?" I muttered to Demelza. She bit her lip.

"Look, just give him a chance, ok?"

He waited for us to laugh; a few people smiled weakly.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books — well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about — just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in —"

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes — start — now!"

I looked down at my paper and read:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite colour?

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's

greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what

would his ideal gift be?

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled

through them in front of the class. I hadn't the faintest idea of the answers to most of the questions, so I guessed a lot of them.

"Hardly any of you remembered that the way I defeated the Wagga Wagga Werewolf was by trapping him in a phone box and doing the Homorphous Charm. Very disappointing. Plenty of you also need to look at Voyages With Vampires more closely, I state in chapter eight that one of my biggest dreams is selling my own range of hair care products. Oh well"

At this point I'd seen it all, I thought. I had a quick look around the room. Several people were looking at Lockhart as if he would surely shout "April Fools" at any moment. A few others were laughing and not even trying to hide it. Demelza and I exchanged exasperated looks.

"Finally seen the light, D?" I asked.

"Yeah, this guy's a joke" she replied. "I seriously hope he gets exposed soon."

After he went around and gave one or two people individual praise for their good scores, the class was dismissed, with Lockhart setting us homework which was to write an essay about our opinions on his greatest achievement.

After lunch, our final class of the day was Transfiguration, and I had my first experience of Professor McGonagall.

When we entered her classroom, we saw nothing but a tabby cat sat on her desk. We all sat down and waited, but when nothing changed after 5 minutes, we began to get confused. Just as someone was about to go and look for McGonagall, the cat jumped off the desk, and to our great surprise, transformed into her! We were all stunned by this as nobody had let on to us that she was an Animagus. We applauded the impressive display.

"Thank you all very much, though I would appreciate it if you could keep my status as an Animagus a secret though, I like to surprise all my first year classes in this manner." she said. We all agreed to, we wouldn't want to spoil that for anybody!

"Welcome to Transfiguration. This is one of the more precise and difficult forms of magic to master, and although what you just saw from me may have excited you, I would advise you to think realistically. Becoming an Animagus is an extremely difficult process, and one that only the most talented witches and wizards can accomplish. You are all first years, so we will start this class very small, today with turning matches into needles, the former of which you all have in front of you right now."

Before we did this however, she changed her desk into a pig and back again, just to show us the wand movements and incantation required, then she had us copy down the theory of the spell.

By the end of the lesson it was clear that she had not been exaggerating about this being one of the more difficult forms of magic. I was the only person in the class to make any difference to a match, as I managed to turn mine silver. It was no surprise, therefore, that we were set extra practice of the spell as homework.

I was therefore pretty relived when dinner arrived. It had not been a good first day of classes, all things considered. After we went back up to the common room, I headed for the dormitory, intending to write to Tom. I got into bed and opened the diary, and was just about to start writing, when I looked at my watch, and my insides turned to ice.

I was late for detention.