Chapter 40: Winston
A/N: As I stated before, this chapter has easily become one of my favorites. I've been building up to this moment for a while now as Winston now knows of the OC's existence. In this chapter, there's so much insight given into the Criminal Underworld and the circumstances surrounding John's actions. And even though his intentions are genuine, Winston is basically being messy by dry snitching and spilling all the tea to the OC and inadvertently causing issues in John and the OC's relationship.
Also I'm really excited that a John Wick spin-off called "The Continental" is being released this month and I want you all to know that I will be tuning in.
A peculiar curiosity led you to get into the car of your own volition but now you've found yourself regretting the decision as soon as the car door shut behind you. You sat tense in the backseat as the man drove the vehicle over the Manhattan Bridge into Lower Manhattan where the unease only intensified.
You wrapped your arms more tightly around yourself, your stomach knotting uncomfortably.
Around this time, you'd probably be halfway home but now you were further away. You weren't supposed to be here - you were supposed to be at home and not riding with a stranger to meet someone else. In fact, you're almost certain that John would never approve of this; you choosing to meet with a so-called associate of his in secret. It was almost agonizing to face the guilt of going behind his back to do something like this. And as much as you'd like to, you can't turn back now.
Wherever this man was taking you, you can only resign yourself to the knowledge that you had no choice in the matter. You might not know what it was about but you can at least guarantee that he did. He was sent to fetch you after details of why had to have been given to him in some way.
The entirety of the drive, the two of you barely spoke a word to one another, the anxious tension encompassing much of the air around you. This led to it being unnaturally quiet in the vehicle. Although, it wasn't like you were capable of making small talk at a time like this. Still, there was one question lingering at the tip of your tongue.
"Did John arrange for this?"
He peered at you through the overhead mirror. "I'm afraid not."
You thought as much.
"Are you allowed to tell me your name?"
The man immediately offered a congenial smile. "Charon. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance once more." He proudly stated.
Strangely enough, you're probably not supposed to but you found the man's presence oddly comforting, almost like simply being near him lessens the unease a bit.
When you arrive in front of the hotel, a uniformed attendant with pristine white gloves covering both hands graciously opens the car door for you. You stepped out of the vehicle apprehensively as Charon rounded the vehicle and led you up the steps to the entrance.
It felt surreal to be led through the interior of the hotel once again and somehow you'd subsequently forgotten how luxurious the hotel's interior looked. By the looks of the clientele, you were certain that they shared the same sentiment. To be frank, you were grateful to have been fortunate enough to spend a single night here as you wouldn't have been able to afford it otherwise.
The only difference this time was that you'd been formally invited instead of being snuck in.
"Right this way Miss." The tall man said, extending a polite hand in the direction in which you were supposed to follow. The man remained ever so polite and hospitable just as a concierge should be.
With a heavy sigh, you followed behind the dutiful concierge as you were escorted through the lobby area toward stairs that led up to an upper floor that held a vintage point where one could peer out and overlook the entrance where you'd just come from.
He led you to an intricate set of double doors that required an access code pad in order to be granted entrance. As access was granted and the doors were being pulled open, you quickly attempted to school your expression into one of placidness despite feeling all sorts of nervousness for what was to come.
You realized straight away that you had been led into an immaculate office space, immediately stilled yourself at its surroundings and sight of the man sitting behind the large desk at the far end of the room.
As you got closer, you took in the man's facial characteristics.
As customary of a significantly aged man, he bore a number of wrinkles, his wizened facial features bespoke of wisdom and old age that seemed to come hand in hand with one another. His face remained impassive and dull and his hazel eyes while downturned were certainly not lacking in their perception. Brilliant streaks of gray encompassed the wealth of his hair and he appeared to be a well dressed and well-kept man for the most part. While he wasn't nearly as intimidating as you expected him to be, instead he embodied an aura of one in a position of power and authority.
Just who was this man exactly?
At Charon's gentle instruction, your footsteps are loud on the polished floor as you stride purposefully forward until you're standing directly adjacent to the occupied desk.
"Thank you Charon." He uttered with a refined nod, acknowledging his loyal subordinate.
"Of course sir." The latter answered with a tip of his head before heading back towards the exit.
Just off the left another man was preparing refreshments on a cart, placing a martini glass on the desk.
"Please have a seat." The man behind the desk gently bid you.
With the meekness of a timid mouse in the view of a cat, you lowered yourself into the chair. You craned your neck back to look at the concierge who hung back near the entrance. Your fingers immediately began to dig into the fabric of your pants in an attempt to placate your restless nerves, before ultimately deciding to fold them in your lap.
"Wine?" He propositioned in a poised but weighted manner.
You wrung your hands together nervously in your lap. It was the only physical action you could do to calm your nerves and it was hardly working. "No. Thank you."
"Tea perhaps?"
You considered the option for a brief second, you did enjoy a good cup every now and then.
"Tea is fine." You nodded.
There was a slight pause as another attendant turned back to the tray and a steaming cup of tea on a small saucer was placed in front of you. Not knowing what to expect, you quietly indulged yourself with a sip of the piping hot tea, satisfied with the pleasant feeling of it passing down your throat.
Silence reigned throughout the space as the attendant wheeled the cart out of the office and you heard the door shut shortly afterwards.
"For the sake of formality, I'll start with the introductions…my name is Winston and I am the owner and proprietor of this establishment. I want to apologize for having to meet under these circumstances but it had to be done." He said, regarding you with a mostly vapid expression.
"I assume you have some questions?"
You swallowed dryly. "Why did you invite me here?"
"To talk about John Wick or course. You're acquainted with our dear friend Mr. Wick are you not?"
"I wouldn't be here if you didn't think I was, would I?" You said plainly.
"Naturally." The man answered as he indulged himself with a sip of his three-olive martini.
You weren't expecting him to balance a suave demeanor but also possess a forwardness that walked a fine line between condescending and incredibly precocious. Maybe it was the British accent he spoke with. The man clearly wasn't one to bite his tongue either.
"If I may ask, what is your relationship with him at the moment?"
You shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "He's my…he's, we're um…"
By this point, there simply wasn't any question of what you and John were but why the hell was it so hard to verbally convey the very serious and romantic nature of you and John's relationship?
"I see. There's no point in speculating then." He responded in a cultured, yet vaguely cynical tone of voice.
"I brought you here because I wanted to discuss some truly concerning matters in regards to your current situation."
Current situation? What the hell was he referring to?
"Since I'm now confident that there is in fact a close relationship in place between the two of you, I can rightly deem the nature of it as questionable."
"Excuse me?" You said, tilting your head at him in object confusion.
He looked at you from under the glasses perched on his nose. "You see…Johnathan and I have known each other for a great many years and I consider him a close friend. With you and him only having recently become acquainted, you would have no way of knowing this. I have been in service for over forty years and like many others, Johnathan has frequented this establishment for many years while conducting business."
You knew what business meant.
"Business like assassin work? Why would you let an assassin use your hotel?"
"This is a sacred institution…an institution that serves as a neutral ground for hired killers and high-end criminals alike. A sort of safe haven in between the jobs and assignments."
"Why do you need a hotel for assassins?"
"Well. Even those who do horrific deeds must at least maintain the outward appearance of being a civilized human. Lest they be no different than animals."
Oh. You can understand that.
"I wasn't made aware of your presence the first time you came to my hotel. Jonathan somehow managed to successfully slip you in and out right under my nose. At first, I had merely thought that you were one of the many ladies of the night that my establishment often employs each night. As no one would've thought much of it at the time, certainly not myself."
You stared inquisitively into his eyes. "When you say ladies of the night, do you mean like…"
"Of course. My hotel provides many different services to our patrons to be used at their own discretion." He spoke in a pithy manner. "Many of these women are on call to cater exclusively to the needs of our patrons. If he were to accompany you to his hotel room in the dead of night, it would it's less likely to arouse suspicion. This presumption was made even more credible when Charon divulged that there'd been a number of noise complaints emitting from his room at one point."
You blinked at him, cheeks blazing with heat at the assertion.
Winston tilted his head thoughtfully. "While it's not uncommon for men to search out methods to placate their sexual compulsions, I simply can't recall Johnathan ever using those specific services before, which is why I found your mere presence here bizarre."
Biting back severe embarrassment about your sexual proclivities being made known, you poised another question to change the subject.
"I've never heard of any normal hotel having services like that. What about normal guests, don't they come here too?"
"Well of course, we host and accommodate all sorts of guests. Surely it's not hard to believe even from your perspective. The latter services only extended to our 'exclusive' patrons."
In truth, it wasn't hard to believe at all. A hotel that secretly functioned as a safe place for assassins - it was the perfect cover. Why go out of your way to conceal something so extensive when you can just hide it in plain sight. It also explained why John brought you here after the incident at the club.
That was when it dawned on you - the man before you wasn't just a hotel manager. It was very likely that he masqueraded as something else entirely. You didn't exactly have the answer but that didn't prevent you from asking him directly.
"You're not just a hotel owner are you?"
"To put it mildly, I simply regulate any assassin activity from my domain and run my hotel. Nothing more, nothing less."
"How did you find out about me?"
"I have a wealth of information at my disposal. Even when my knowledge is lacking, information can still be easily obtained. Although I'll admit, I only had suspicions to go on but through my resources I found the existence of a recent police report particularly interesting."
You drew in a sharp breath, your heart beginning to race as you looked at him quizzically. "What police report?"
"It was brought to my attention that you were the subject of an attack by a man who owned the apartment building where you once lived, correct?"
You froze, unnerved body language betraying the faux calmness once marring your facial features.
"How do you know about that?"
"I told you…I have a vast network of resources throughout the city. I can find out anything I need."
The distressed look on your face seemed to alert him to the storm brewing behind inside of your mind with the new information. It just wasn't right - how did the man obtain all this information? Who the hell was giving him access to police reports on a mere whim?
The police couldn't have knowledge of a whole other world just below the surface. That would be insane. Were the police really aware of the criminal activity to this degree operating within New York? According to him, it would seem so.
"You haven't the slightest idea how deep this rabbit hole goes. We are everywhere." He explained.
"We?"
"Those that exist within this society. You may find us everywhere, even in the places you least expect." He stated in a mostly analytical tone of voice.
Point of fact, you only have surface level knowledge of the secret, heavily-guarded society, granted you didn't know how far it extended.
In spite of your obvious shock, Winston continued on without pretense.
"Tell me about the night in question. The night in which you were taken by the trafficking ring."
You wet your lips, slightly unnerved by the question before answering with, "To put it simply, I was kidnapped while I was out with my friends. I don't remember much but I woke up tied up in some warehouse and the next thing I knew gunshots rang out. When I opened my eyes again, I was in John's arms."
"I must say, he must be quite smitten with you to commit such reckless acts on your behalf."
"Probably…or maybe it was the right thing to do." You replied.
"Well I highly doubt that."
Your eyes hardened at his dispassionate choice of words regarding the situation, his tone already grating on your fragile composure. For your own sake, you tried to remain calm and not give in to emotion since you can't afford to show any sort of weakness in front of him nor could you make him aware that what he was saying was having an effect on you.
"Look….the bottom line is that he saved me, someone he cares about. What's so wrong about that?"
"Nothing, at least from my own perspective. However, not every party will see it the same. That is where the problem ultimately lies."
"What are you talking about?"
"You would have no knowledge of this but after his heroic efforts retrieving you from your doomed fate, it would seem that our dear Mr. Wick discreetly located the operation created to replace the first and single-handedly made deliberate efforts to dismantle it as well."
"What?"
The resulting look on his face showed that he seemed genuinely surprised that you had no knowledge of the incident.
"From my understanding, those in charge of running the latest trade were instructed to retrieve each and every piece of stock presumably lost in the first operation. That includes you."
"By why? Why would they go out of their way to do that?"
Even now there were so many questions swirling in your mind and you dreaded finding out the answers.
"It's very likely that the majority of those that were taken had already been bought by any interested parties."
Bought by who and for what purpose?
Merely hearing that made you absolutely sick to your stomach - to know that you and other people were so close to being sold and shipped off like cattle. As you didn't have families and your own life to live. To have horrendous confirmation that there were actually individuals out in the world who contributed to a modern day auction block induced the worst kind of feeling in you.
A gripping ache began to settle in your chest as you thought about it.
Quite frankly, you hadn't an ounce of doubt that your partner actually did the things the hotel manager was accusing him of. But honestly you didn't know what to believe. All of it sounded questionable coming from him especially when he had an unclear role in the situation.
Despite your vehement denial, a part of you reasoned that there had to be some truth to what he was saying. Who goes this hard over a torrent of falsehoods and just what was he gaining from making you aware of such information? In all sincerity, it wasn't all that odd that a man of his standing would have knowledge of any perceived threat lurking about. Given that you didn't have reason to question the validity of what he was saying.
"You don't have any proof…you don't know if he was the one who did it." You asserted.
"I know that there's not a single other person that was capable."
"Anyone can be capable, not just him."
The man quietly scoffed. "It would seem that you're severely lacking in your perception of him. Of course you know of him but do you really know him?" He questioned evenly.
"I'm pretty sure I know him well enough." You countered.
"Well I highly doubt that."
You took a few moments to mull over the confusing statement. Surely he wasn't implying that you didn't know the man you'd been romantically tangled with for close to a year now. Besides, it didn't matter how long the two knew each other, nothing gave him the right to start questioning the authenticity of your relationship with John.
"Just what are you trying to say exactly?"
"I assume you know of his trade, yes?"
You swallowed. "I do."
"Do you know the name he's been given due to his unparalleled proficiency and expertise in the field? He's referred to as the 'Baba Yaga'. In Russian, it translates to 'The Boogeyman.' And that's exactly what he is - a savage killer among killers. He's not just a killer; he's the deadliest man in the business. Practically a God in his profession…his prowess is unmatched."
Another time, you might've questioned whether or not the man was over exaggerating but the seriousness in his countenance made you think otherwise. Truthfully, none of this is news to you - in fact it was already well established before the two of you even became physically intimate. You never overlooked John being a professional contract killer, it wasn't exactly something you could ignore. What you hadn't considered however, was what his life as a contract killer fully entailed and what type of reputation he had among that community.
"Think of him as the monster among monsters. The things he's done in his lifetime…the lives he's taken - rival that of even the devil himself."
The room became eerily silent at once.
Admittedly, there wasn't much about his life as a hired killer that you knew in great detail for you to disprove any of the claims made about him.
The truth of the matter was that you've known it from the very start; the man you considered your partner was indeed a killer through and through. That fact was incontestable, but at what point does a person like him become the monster of a monster? You can't even wrap your mind around it. Every piece and layer of him that gets peeled back leaves you wanting to know more and more but you can't pretend that what he was saying didn't instill fear in you on some level.
An uncomfortable chill runs through your body as the man's words sunk in.
"I…I don't-"
As if sensing the direction your thoughts were headed, the hotel owner answered with, "Let this serve as a proper warning - we're all monsters in some way. Some even more than others."
Surely the man you loved couldn't be among the worst ones could he?
Not knowing how to navigate the uncomfortable silence, you allowed it to stretch on until the man deemed it necessary to break it once again.
"Johnathan can be a man of reason at times. And other times he cannot. A slight was committed against him and he sought retaliation for it."
You sat quietly seething and failing at controlling your steadily rising anger.
"Those people kidnapped me…they were going to sell me off." You say, pointedly.
"As is their job. The manner in which it is done and who is acquired is inconsequential."
With that remark your blood ran hot. To keep from lashing out, you turned your face away from him, hands tightened into fists as a result of your mounting anger. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd incited raw emotion in you.
The man remained unfazed by your anger and it made you even angrier when you saw it.
At this point, you already know where the conversation was headed and you quickly ground yourself. Truthfully, you're not shocked to find out that the man was of the opinion that you and John shouldn't have any sort of dealings with one another.
"I say this not out of malice, but simply because I know that retaining this sort of relationship with an assassin is not logical nor is it safe in any capacity."
"I don't need a lecture. You think I don't know that you're not supposed to be together? I know what he is, I know who he is. I'm a grown woman and I can make my own decisions." You spat, raising your chin indignantly. "And if I choose to be with him, that's my business not yours!"
You cleared your throat in an attempt to get rid of the obvious lump forming there. "Let me ask you something, if someone you cared about got taken the same way I did, what would you do? Would you leave them to a horrible fate or would you do whatever was necessary to save them?"
The proprietor didn't provide an answer immediately, merely situating both hands on the surface of his desk, comfortably intertwining his fingers. "While I can sympathize and understand the man's reasoning, I believe he should have gone about it in an alternative manner."
"How? You just said that they were going to come after him no matter what. What could he have done to stop that other than kill them?"
"I know that a man who is passionate about something will stop at nothing to protect it."
As far as you were concerned, the man was hitting you with too many things at once. The thing that was most alarming was that you had trouble wrapping your mind around the idea that someone could be actively pursuing you for retaliation due in part to the actions of your significant other. Actions that you deemed totally heroic in nature as well as justified.
The overarching question was whether or not your significant other had knowledge of what the man was referring to. Did the hitman know that dangerous people could potentially be after him? And if he did would he deem it necessary to tell you? Regardless, even if what the man was saying there had to be a reason why John chose not to inform you of something like that. John ceaselessly pampered you, he constantly showered you in affection and security. He wouldn't willingly place you in danger. He had a reason for doing everything and if he deliberately kept something of that magnitude from you then it had to be paramount.
While part of you wants to believe that he wouldn't keep something so crucial from you but given all that you'd been through the past few weeks you can also see why he wouldn't see the benefit in informing you of any of it. You don't exactly have the best track record of processing anything remotely lamentable.
No person in their right mind wants to think that they're possibly being targeted out of retaliation because their significant other decided to take matters into his own hands to protect you.
"Do you know what you are? You're simply a concept, a coveted idea that appeals to his long-forgotten humanity in a way that warrants him to leave his old life behind - to become someone else other than the boogeyman myself and many others know him to be. He would rather remain at your side than continue the life of violence and uncertainty." He explained.
"Do you understand that the current arrangement you have with him places you and potentially those close to you in grave danger? Even now, your life is at risk simply because of your association with him. And not only that but a civilian choosing to walk the fine line between this world and their own is a very concerning and foolhardy thing to do."
"I know it's probably not the best decision but me and him…"
You searched for the words but cut yourself off at the last second. He wouldn't understand and you can't expect him to. What you and John had wasn't meant to be understood by anyone other than yourselves.
"Let me ask you something…is it rare for the two of you to go out as a pair? Mostly in public spaces? I trust you know why that is."
You and John had already had a discussion regarding the topic when he'd taken you to the beach, he'd spoken briefly about something similar and it mainly came down to you being seen by the wrong people.
"He knows that you cannot be associated with him at any juncture. Not while he is still active."
It's not hard to comprehend what the man was insinuating - how could you ever hope to live a normal life knowing the man you're in love with is widely considered to be one of the most vicious hitmen that ever lived. It wasn't lost on you why you were brought here in the first place - he meant to dissuade you from carrying on any sort of relationship with the phlegmatic contract killer.
Regardless of what the other male was saying, at some point, John had obviously gained a sense of humanity and wanted to change and it's for this reason, you chose to look past the darkness that once surrounded him. You'd be remiss to allow another man to make you question the humanity of a man who'd shown you nothing but kindness and generosity.
"I will share something that's not known to civilians like yourself. There are rules that those in our society must abide by, rules that cannot be broken. There is a higher entity in place that presides over us all and makes sure that those rules are adhered to."
"Men like John and I are forever doomed to be confined in an underground societal structure made up of rules and codes. These rules are meant to uphold a sense of order and civility."
"Well tell me what rules did he break saving me? I would love to know!"
Whether or not that's inherently justified isn't up for questioning at this point in time. In their world, life has no real intrinsic value. Life and death go hand in hand with one another. It was not your place to question what was right or wrong. As a civilian, you're ineligible to judge the morality of his actions; it wasn't your place.
"He destroyed two major business operations." He mentioned, still regarding you with a stern gaze. "Considering his position, he did what he thought was right. I can't fault a man for that but…in doing so I'm afraid he's created an even bigger issue in the process. What you don't understand is that everything has its own set of consequences including the valiant indiscretions of our ."
"Were both of them trafficking operations? Then I don't see what he did that was so wrong." You say, immediately going on the offensive.
"There are repercussions-"
"Having to face repercussions from something like that is bullshit."
Unlike him, you will never see his actions as wrong. He did what he did to protect you - that much was clear.
"I couldn't agree more. However it will not go overlooked by those who lost profit because of it." His eyes flashed. "Regardless of what you may be feeling, it must be acknowledged that through his actions he has placed you both in an extremely compromising position."
The hotel owner didn't appear to have it out for you in any way. If anything he seemed like a man genuinely concerned for your and your paramour's well being.
"I can with all certainty say that the situation will not get better."
"Don't you think that's a fucked up thing to say?" You replied testily.
"And yet, it's entirely true." He reasoned. "What do you think will happen when it comes out that he was responsible? What do you anticipate happening when your relationship is forced out into the open and those very individuals discover you are heavily involved with him? The result would be catastrophic and not only for you." He cautioned.
"It doesn't matter. It happened months ago, nothing else has happened since then. Soon he's going to retire and he won't live that life anymore."
"Well that's likely because there's very few who know the circumstances surrounding the incident. He's done very well concealing your existence up until now but who knows how long that will last?"
Your brows drew together, the lines in your forehead increasing with the growing defeat.
"And when it comes to the subject of retirement….do you really think it's that easy? Do you think one can just up and leave behind their life of slaughter and bloodshed? It's much more complicated than that. Not many individuals can successfully leave their life of crime without repercussions - it simply isn't done. Regardless of whether or not he wants to retire, he is not yet free of obligation. Due to that fact, his actions have warranted individuals to seek retribution. And I fear they will do whatever is necessary to achieve it even if it means they have to use you to get it."
"If he no longer wishes to embrace the life he's been living then I see nothing wrong with it. It's how he chooses to obtain the life he covets that may present an issue."
You imagine it's very difficult to try and leave that kind of life behind. But you'll hold fast the belief nonetheless because you both made a promise to one another.
"He already exists in one world and yet he clings to another. And you trust him implicitly with that knowledge?"
"I trust him with my life…it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." You said resolutely.
"So what? All this to encourage me to stay away from him?"
"I cannot persuade or encourage you to do anything. You will simply do what you feel is best."
"What do you want from me?"
"I'm offering you an out."
"From what? What about you? What's your role in all of this?"
The look on his withered face when he spoke those words bothered you more than anything because it appeared that the man was incredibly sincere. "I merely wish that no further tragedy befalls a dear friend."
It wasn't long before Winston's cultured, suave voice broke the silence again.
"Retirement? Truthfully, I'm not surprised in the slightest that he'd choose to go down this path again. It wouldn't be the first time he was driven by romantic attachment."
The room became eerily silent at once and your eyes narrowed to near slits.
Was he implying that John had done this before?
Could it be that you were reading too much into it? It was entirely possible but even then you doubted it very much. While rationalizing it that way made it entirely believable, you were incapable of accepting it as truth.
There was barely any sense of time as you felt like it had stopped completely.
Your pulse swiftly sped. "What do you mean?"
One of the hotelier's brows lifted upwards. "Why do you think he wishes to retire now of all times? Why do you think he covets it so heavily? It is because he's already been given a glimpse of the other side once before. Love is a powerful thing, it can drive us to do the improbable."
"You're lying."
The offhand comment had thrown you for such a loop that you struggled to even respond to him in the manner you wanted. He'd essentially blindsighted you with all of this and had you questioning everything you thought you knew about John.
"Oh? Believe what you will. But I advise you to look around the house the two of you now undoubtedly share - search for the sliver of proof and I'm sure you'll find it. You can draw your own conclusion from there."
The words were too ominous to be a mere fabrication. The impending sense of doom associated with his words was almost foreboding. He may just be trying to unsettle you and sew seeds of unrest in your mind regarding the relationship with John. It certainly trekked since you were still in the process of gauging his motives for bringing you here in the first place.
"In regards to this meeting, you have the choice of keeping it strictly between us or informing him at your own discretion."
"Charon will escort you out and see you back to your vehicle. From there, you can decide what you will do.
"Should you ever have need of me - a simple call is all you have to make." He said, sliding a golden lamented card over the desk towards you. "Your life may very well depend on it."
You reached out and took the card without another word and that ultimately concluded.
Charon appeared next to you, seemingly awaiting to guide you back at the quiet behest of his employer. Without so much as a single glance back to the hotelier, you were seen out of the office much like you'd been escorted in. The concierge graciously chaperoned your now thoroughly anxious person back to the lobby area of the hotel, strangely as you passed through the feeling of eyes on your skirts across your skin.
You're brought towards a waiting car parked outside. The valet opened the car door and you slipped inside robotically, your gaze lingering on the concierge who nodded at you once the vehicle pulled off.
She took a long pull from the lit cigarette, holding the smoke in her lungs before releasing it in an exhale. She watched as wisps of smoke floated around the space around her.
For Perkins, the recent assignment in Spain had taken much longer than she would've liked but the payoff was sitting nice in her account. There's always perks that come with it and it wasn't like she was hurting for money. The insatiable love of money was all she ever knew. It probably didn't help that she spent it just as quickly as she attained it and that was why she needed a contrast influx of it. Without it, Perkins hardly understood the meaning of life.
Money had been the only thing that helped her comprehend the concept of love. She was greedy for the things money brought her. Access, wealth, luxury, a steady influx of lovers and sex whenever she wanted it. The list goes on.
Due to certain contracts being open, she had to move quickly if she wanted the bounty as others would be pining for the money as well. She'd always been of the belief that if one was capable of taking something then they deserved to have it. Open contracts are all she ever gets nowadays, no exclusive ones. There's barely any time to toy with the intended target anymore. Getting it done quickly and efficiently was the only way to ensure she obtained the money from the kill.
The target from the last contract had been slippery, she had to track him for a few days before the opportunity presented itself. In the end, she wound up having to clip him while he was out buying things for his young daughter. Not that she cared all that much, he could have been feeding the homeless and she still would've put a bullet in him for the sum that was offered. It wasn't like he was someone important, the guy had been a lowly accountant who'd been charged with handling the finances of a notorious crime lord but once the totals started coming back incorrect the boss ordered that he be rubbed out. People had been snuffed out for less.
Not once had the female gun thought about the child that had lost a father or the wife that was now a widow. She only factored in the multiplying digits in her account. That was all that mattered.
She scoffed inwardly.
None of these cocksuckers would've had the balls to pull off the kill there but she did. She always would. It didn't matter if they died on the street or died in their beds. Their days were marked the second a bounty was placed on them.
Nowadays, crime lords were dime a dozen and often threw out contracts over the pettiest slights. Typically the reason ranged over monetary disputes, territory, and personal vendettas. Any contract worth millions was enough to spark her interest no matter who it came from. If a client is offering up large sums of cash then she'd be willing to do whatever job they required.
She knew it wouldn't be long another contract presented itself.
From what she heard recently, Dmitri Dmitriv had made it to New York on the directive from the High Table. That entailed something serious. There were rumors that two of his business operations had been dismantled and the person responsible hadn't been identified.
Frankly, the woman didn't care about any destroyed business or profit, she merely craved notoriety from claiming the bounty. It wasn't a secret that most kingpins hired killers based on their reputations. If she were to kill those responsible for the warehouse massacre, then her desirability and skills would be more sought after. She'd become a very rich woman in no time.
She just wanted to know who possessed the skill and inclination to single-handedly take down not one but two trafficking operations in a span of only a few short weeks. Even the most proficient of assassins wouldn't have been able to pull off some shit like that without any assistance. Others were already talking and speculating on who it could've been and how there would be hell to pay. It just wasn't possible.
There had been a number of unanswered questions surrounding both incidents but so far they'd remained substantiated for the time being.
Perkins could honestly care less, she was set to check out in the morning anyways. She quietly slid a coin across the counter to the bartender and promptly left the bar.
As the woman glanced to her right, she just so happened to catch a brief glimpse of a vaguely familiar face. Perkins watched as the woman was being hustled out of the building by the hotel attendant. The sight had caused Perkins to stop dead in her tracks, eyes narrowing as her mind worked on establishing some sort of recognition.
Almost immediately, everything came rushing back and she felt her ire bristling. Oh yes. She remembered that cunt. Perkins hadn't forgotten about the encounter with the mouthy little slut and since then she'd been itching for the chance to run into her again. All things considered, it had been quite a while since she'd seen the other woman's face around and she didn't have a clue as to why that was. She expressly recalled how the woman had reacted when she feigned interest in the skilled killer. Something she only did because she knew it would get under the other woman's skin and not because she had any real interest in the stoic assassin. If only people really knew just how much she detested the man on a level.
Despite finding it rather amusing at first, the other's reaction was unusual given that the high-end whores that the Continental had on call didn't get emotionally invested in their clients. It was an unspoken taboo.
The female assassin noted the peculiar look on the other woman's face as she was being escorted out of the revolving doors and out of view. What could've made her so troubled? Perkins would love to know, or better yet, she'd loved to be the cause of it. Having already acknowledged that she may be slightly neurotic, it was hard for Perkins not to revel in it.
With it being so late in the evening, there weren't that many guests in view, most of which were either in their designated rooms or enjoying a drink at the bar area. Even she just so happened to be passing through on the way up to her hotel room. Had she not chosen to leave the bar when she did, she never would've stumbled on the scene.
From what Perkins could make out, the woman wasn't dressed in the usual hooker getup like last time. Which begged the question of why The Continental's concierge was personally seeing her out through the front entrance, something not commonly done at least to her knowledge. The staff usually bring the paid escorts in and out of the building discreetly. If she wasn't dressed for the deed then what other business could she have with the hotel if not to provide those specific services? It wasn't adding up.
While the glass doors circled one last time, a poignant thought occurred to her. Although she might not understand it at the moment, Perkins thinks she may have stumbled on something very interesting.
A smirk finds itself emerging at her lips.
The entire conversation left you feeling wholly discombobulated and confused about everything. With your thoughts multiplying by the second, you were unsure of how you were supposed to continue on with life after hearing the information that was relayed to you. You were genuinely unsettled by the entire encounter.
Somewhere on the way, your head had started throbbing amidst waves of fear and uncertainty. There's a tightness in your chest that wouldn't abate even when you tried your best to ignore it. Worse still, it intensified with each anxious thought that crossed your mind. You just needed to make sense of everything in some way.
How were you just expected to pretend like you hadn't been reduced to a bundle of anxiety? Something like was nearly impossible for you, someone who felt so strongly about everything.
Trying to blink away the glossiness in your eyes, you inhaled a deep breath in an effort to retreat inward to prevent yourself from outwardly portraying what you were feeling. You spent a while trying to compose yourself before you went inside.
The front door opened and you stepped inside quietly, not wanting to make any noise. Just as you're slipping your coat from your shoulders, Sweetface comes running and you give him gentle pat on the head in greeting
As you attempted to bypass the kitchen, John's cultured baritone reached your ears. "You're home later than usual."
Despite him doing it many times before, you hadn't expected him to actually wait for you to get home tonight. Luckily you've had some time to perfect a carefully crafted subdued reaction in the car before you made it back to the house. The real challenge was actively maintaining it in the face of your intuitive partner.
"Yeah. There was a customer dispute right before we were supposed to close. Took a little longer than usual." The lie flew from your mouth so easily that it scared you. It scared you with how convincing it sounded. Although it didn't matter how convincing you thought you were, if the man didn't accept it as the truth then it meant absolutely nothing. Sadly, even when you attempt to be unassuming, you leave much to be assumed.
Sitting the mug aside, he gracefully navigated around the island and stride towards you, his gaze centered directly on your face. He eventually came to stand over you, continuing to study your features calmly. You steadily met his gaze, somehow finding the confidence not to wilt under his intense scrutiny.
"Are you alright?" He asked solemnly.
A smile formed on your lips. "Yeah. It's just been a really long day."
The impassive assassin's gaze lingered on you for an indecipherable moment before his hardened features eventually softened.
Brushing past the man, you breathed a quiet sigh of exasperation as you continued towards the stairs. You climbed them one by one with him trailing closely behind.
Normally, the man's closeness would be comforting but now it only puts you on edge to constantly maintain the false image that you were fine. If only he kept a bit of distance from you then it wouldn't be so hard for you.
It's only when you eventually disappeared into the bathroom you could finally release the breath of air you'd been holding. Even as you looked into the mirror, catching a glimpse of yourself and the look on your face told everything. Right down to the inner turmoil and general visual distress. If the hitman were to see even a fraction of the expression on your face then you'd be outed for your transgressions. You brought a hand up to your throat which felt as though it had sandpaper trapped in it.
Perhaps more subdued than usual, you went about your nightly routine as you normally would without arousing suspicion that something was amiss. Incidentally, the undertaking was difficult considering the absolute maelstrom of confusion and trepidation within you. Everything that Winston had told you had been pushed to the forefront of your thoughts over everything else and obviously there would be intense emotions surrounding it.
How could he have made you feel as though you didn't really know the man you feel deeply in love with? How were you supposed to feel after hearing all you had?
The man had gone so far as to call your significant other a literal god among monsters. How bad does one have to be in order to be considered a monster that's considered a god to other monsters in his respective field? How does one navigate around something like that? You couldn't comprehend it.
You were aware that he may have hidden parts of himself away to be with you. It was expected given his background. But you couldn't stand the idea of looking at him in an unfavorable light based on the words of another individual. It felt wrong.
After all he'd done on your behalf he deserved nothing less than your unwarranted gratitude and loyalty.
Switching on the taps, you ran a nice hot bath and slowly submerged your tense frame into it. The heat from the water burned pleasantly into your skin so much so that you merely closed your eyes and lay back against the lip of the tub. From there, your mind continued to wander as you contemplated what to make of the night as a whole.
You could just come clean - telling about everything and ask him about what Winston revealed to you; lessen the weight on your shoulders at least.
Sure, you both don't have to tell each other every little thing but something of that magnitude should be discussed right? On one hand, the both of you shouldn't be keeping things from one another but you had no clue if he was truly hiding anything from you as Winston has so eloquently inferred. And if it turned out that he did keep such information from you, obviously John felt it was necessary. In that case, he didn't didn't want you to find out what he'd done for whatever reason.
Unfortunately, you wouldn't be able to scrub the shame of even allowing someone else's words to change your perception of him. You soaked in the water until it became lukewarm before the urge to get out struck.
Just having to deal with the immense guilt of doing something you weren't supposed to and deciding to hide it from him, it felt like it was too much to handle.
You probably spent more time in the bathroom than you meant to.
In your inattentiveness, you moved mechanically around the room, putting away your discarded clothing before moving in front of the mirror. From there you started maneuvering your loose braids into a single plait before wrapping a scarf around your edges.
At first, you hadn't realized that you were still trapped in a mental reverie until the slender fingers of John's hand gently grazed the skin of your cheek. Your entire frame tensed up unceremoniously. Just as you anticipated, the man accurately ascertained your emotions even without you seemingly not giving anything away.
Clearly, John's insightful gaze had rested tenderly on you for some time before you finally noticed. He'd already asked you once and now you feared that he might be growing skeptical of your behavior.
"I'm just a little tired, that's all." You trailed off, whilst giving him a reassuring smile.
Thankfully, this one didn't feel so forced.
"I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm okay…really."
You leaned up on the tip of your toes to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek.
Your lover's irises were calm and unrevealing as they pierced your own.
He stared at you intensely and your heart wrenched at the look. It was one you knew well. A cascade of inexplicable stress hormones flooded your body and your cheeks became suffused with heat.
Pulling on the sheets, you take up a spot near the edge of your side of the bed, laying on the right side facing away from him.
The lap on his bedside table is turned off, casting a good portion of the bedroom into darkness. You were quiet as the comforter was lifted and he settled into bed with you. There was never a time where you slept with so much distance between the two of you. Taking up the new position felt considerably abnormal since you're so used to sleeping under him.
You don't know how long you lay there before a dreamless sleep finds you.
For three full days, you let these feelings stew. You began using work and making impromptu visits with friends under the guise of study sessions just to put some distance between you and John. Consequently, your significant other had thought nothing of it and you couldn't be more grateful. You had yet to let your mask of normalcy slip thus he had no reason to suspect anything was wrong in the meantime.
Even now, your mind remained a jumbled mess and you hadn't been able to focus on anything at work. Ever since the meeting with Winston a few nights ago and you had yet to bounce back from the inner turmoil you were cast in.
"Are you alright? You've been really quiet." Mia's concerned voice pierced through the mental fog.
She and Ethan have been pulling most of the weight for the shift and you couldn't help but feel a little guilty about it.
"I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind right now."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Aside from your close friends and occasionally your parents, you don't really let people in your business. Although, you could really use a listening ear just or just an outside viewpoint on the issue that was bothering you.
As a coworker, Mia was just outside of those in your inner sanctum despite know really knowing her for that long. If she couldn't appease your out of place emotions then she could at least offer some helpful advice on the situation. In other words, it was natural for you to want to confide in her somewhat. Perhaps the other woman could provide an unbiased, logical perspective your loved ones would not.
It's not something you want to spend an overwhelming amount of time grappling with the issue.
What you and John have was both simple and complex all the same.
After some thought on the suggestion, you nodded stiffly. "Have you ever had to question whether or not you truly know someone close to you?"
Judging from the look on her face, Mia appeared completely taken aback by the question. You watched as several different emotions crossed her features before shock was the one she eventually settled on.
Admittedly, the question came out of left field and it was the sort of complicated question that most people wouldn't know how to answer.
She shifted uncomfortably before her expression quickly morphed into something more passive. "Well I guess it depends on what you're questioning about the person that's causing you to feel like you don't know them. Have they done something out of the ordinary lately to make you feel this way?" She coolly retorted.
"Not really."
She regarded you steadily. "Was it something they said?"
You shook your head, biting the inside of your jaw.
"Is it because of something someone else said?"
You went silent right away, offering neither a nod or shake of the head.
Based on your reaction, Mia seemed to have received her answer nonetheless. "Right then. Please don't take this the wrong way when I say it but you can't really let something someone else said affect the relationship you have with another. Everything hinges on how you view the person and a skewed perception isn't healthy. It's not okay."
"I know…it's just…"
Everything the man divulged sounded plausible and you were unable to move past it.
"Don't beat yourself up about it. What's it going to help?
"The way I see it, you have two options - you can talk with the person in question about the issue or just go with life as normal. There's not much you can do aside from that."
"So who's the person we're referring to?"
You never really knew what to say when people ask about what John is to you.
"It's a guy I've been seeing for a while." You mentioned quietly.
Honestly, the simple explanation worked out just fine given that it didn't reveal too much.
"Oh." The woman gave you a goofy side grin that most people do when they find out you're romantically involved with a person. Coincidentally, it's enough to have the corner of your lips lifting slightly.
"Do I know him?"
"Probably not. We're really private about the relationship."
"There's nothing wrong with that. I heard it helps it last longer."
"I hope so." You breathed.
When the other girl steps away, you use the opportunity to check your phone. There's a text from Jasmine asking if you stole her bag of kettle corn the last time you were at her apartment. You decided to lie and say no even though the now half empty bag was currently stored in the pantry at home and you already had plans to finish it off very soon. What's crazy is that you didn't even like kettle corn like that. Considering that you were notorious for stealing food from her and Alexis, it's a wonder she even had to ask.
You nearly giggle at the following accusatory text from her when a repetitive noise against the countertop immediately caught your attention. When you glanced down, fingers encased in black leather gloves were repeatedly tapping against the surface in wave life motion. Almost if in a way to express impatience.
Trailing your gaze upwards, you suddenly found yourself staring into an unduly familiar pair of blue eyes. Straightaway, the soothing atmosphere chilled and you felt a lash of indignation creeping up your sides.
Oh…this bitch.
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