What if…
Chapter 7
A/N: This and the next one are the last two chapters before a timeskip. We're getting to the Fullbringers arc soon and we will see Ichigo again.
Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo, I only own this fanfiction.
Chapter 7: What is going on between us?
Ulquiorra was starting to get annoyed with the constant teasing his fellow Espada subjected him to. Ever since he and Orihime hugged in front of them a week ago, Grimmjow and Noitora hadn't stopped trying to get under his skin. "So when is the wedding? ", asked Grimmjow and Noitora snickered beside him.
Ulquiorra really wanted to bang his head on the wall. Nel, who happened to be next to him at this moment, sighed annoyed. "Will you guys stop this? It's getting on my nerves and I'm not even the one the whole teasing is directed to."
"Cry me a river.", said Noitora smirking at her.
Nel sighed. "If you don't stop, I won't fight with you again.", she said as she walked past Noitora, knowing far too well that this did the trick.
Noitora frowned. "Hey! Come back here! That's not fair!" But Nel had already turned around the corner. "Shit! I need to catch up with her."
Grimmjow frowned. "You are getting awfully comfortable with her. Should I tease you as well?"
Noitora glared at him. "I'm not getting close to her. We are still the way we were back then."
"That's not true.", said Ulquiorra getting their attention. "You spend more time with her than you used to and your relationship with her has definitely changed for the better."
"See? Even Ulquiorra noticed it.", said Grimmjow.
Noitora clenched his teeth. "Fuck you! Nel and I are the same way as we used to be and that's final!"
Grimmjow sighed. "Well then, you don't mind if I make a move on her do you?"
Noitora's lone eye widened and he stared at Grimmjow shocked. "What…?"
Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at him. "Look, she is a hot chick and she definitely is my type. The thing is if you are really into her, I ain't making a move on her."
Noitora flinched and looked down. "I'm pretty sure you two have shared partners before and neither of you had an issue.", said Ulquiorra.
Grimmjow looked at him surprised. "Well, yeah. We've slept with the same women and we even had a competition about it, but this is different. Their past and their present behavior is making me wonder whether there is more than just a rivalry or even more than even simple attraction between the two of them."
Noitora growled. "There is nothing going on between me and Nelliel. We are simply rivals. Do whatever you want with her. I don't care."
Noitora left them and Grimmjow sighed. "Do you believe him?"
Ulquiorra thought about all the events that had occurred and shook his head. "No, I don't. He definitely has grown closer to Nelliel and as you put it, even I can see it."
"Well, he can deny it all he wants, but there is more between them, especially if even you noticed it. Anyway, he did just give me the okay to actually hit on Nelliel, so I'm going to take my shot. If he has something to say about it, then he can, but he was the one who just gave me the okay."
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Noitora growled annoyed as he passed the hallways. He scowled as he saw Nelliel in front of him. She turned at him and smirked. "So, you want to spar?"
He frowned and passed by her. "I'm in no mood for that."
"Huh?", was all that Nel could say. She blinked at him in shock.
Even he stopped for a moment considering the irony of the whole situation. If he was in a good mood, he would have even laughed. He sighed and tried to continue his way towards his room, when Nel came in front of him. "Hey, are you okay?"
He groaned and tried to pass by her but she wouldn't let him. "I'm in no mood for games, Nelliel. I guess I'm tired."
She stared at him in disbelief, obviously not buying his excuse. But she let him pass nevertheless. He sighed. She was so annoyingly predictable. Worrying about him, even though he didn't deserve it in the slightest. He stopped just before he turned around a corner feeling her eyes following him. "By the way, Grimmjow wants to talk to you about something. Why don't you go and talk to him?"
She stared at him confused. "Grimmjow? Why does he want to talk with me?"
He smirked at her, even though it was awfully forced. "Well, let's just say you are successful with males like him."
Nel's eyes widened. Suddenly the beeping sound of Urahara's device was heard and pink smoke engulfed her. She was a child again. "Huh, Nel is small again?"
To her luck, Pesche and Dondochaka had been behind the corner Noitora was about to turn to, eavesdropping them. Noitora glared at them as they ran to Nel. "Master Nel! Let's go back to your room! We'll take you away from him!", said Pesche, glaring at Noitora.
Noitora scoffed and left them alone. He hated feeling like this, but he was doomed to feel like that. Despair.
He walked towards his castle and his quarters, but right before he could enter his castle, he came across a weird spectacle. Tesla and Sung Sun were right in front of the entrance and Tesla looked flustered as he was telling something to the Anaconda Arrancar. To Noitora's surprise, she giggled.
Tesla became redder than a tomato and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. That fraccion of his was making a fool of himself, wasn't he? Noitora sighed and decided to interrupt them. "Oi! Go to your Mistress!", he said bored at Sung Sun.
Tesla looked at him like he had been caught doing something completely inappropriate, while Sung Sun barely spared him a glance. He growled at how she ignored him. She looked at Tesla with a soft smile. "See you around, Tesla." And with that she left.
"B-Bye", said Tesla waving at her shyly. He then looked at Noitora terrified. "Master-"
"That was pathetic.", said Noitora annoyed. "And for fuck's sake Tesla? Her of all people? I think I warned you about Harribel."
Tesla panicked and turned red. "There is nothing going on between us! We were just talking about… stuff."
Noitora sighed. "What kind of stuff? How much of a virgin you are?"
Tesla became even redder. "N-No… About poetry…"
Noitora blinked. "You're into poetry…?"
Tesla nodded shyly.
Noitora looked at him for a moment. He then sighed. "Whatever. I don't care. Good luck with her."
Tesla gasped. "M-Master Noitora! I told you, we were simply talking."
"And she was undressing you with her eyes while you did so. Look Tesla, I don't really care. It's about time you get laid. I wish you were less suicidal about it, though. Harribel might not like that you are banging one of her girls."
Tesla swallowed. "B-But-"
"Enough with this already! I need to rest." He passed Tesla and entered his quarters.
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He had punched his wall once again and now he was lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He hated that there was something he felt towards Nelliel, even though he didn't know what. Maybe if he got with another woman… "Tesla! Call for Loly!"
The fraccion did as he was told and Noitora waited patiently on his bed. That would fix his bad mood… Right? He took off his shirt and sighed. Loly entered with a scowl on her lips. "It's been a while since the last time. Those scars look terrible by the way."
"Does it matter? We ain't a thing, you know. Besides, weren't you fawning over Aizen or something? How did that go? Did he allow you to touch his fingertip?" He smirked.
Loly glared at him. "Shut up! Let's get this over with! I have better stuff to do."
"I highly doubt it, bitch.", he replied.
She crawled over him and started rubbing his sides slowly. He sighed and closed his eye, trying to relax. That didn't go that well. He imagined Nel touching him and he scowled. "Fuck!"
Loly eyed him warily. "What? I barely did anything."
Noitora growled. "Continue…", he said, looking away.
Loly nodded and cautiously moved lower and started lowering his pants. He eyed her and he felt that this whole thing was… wrong. He didn't know what it was, but his body didn't want Loly. He didn't feel anything as she tried to touch him intimately and he realized that this whole thing had been a bad idea. "Stop! I… I ain't in the mood…"
Loly blinked at him surprised. "Weren't you the one who called me here for this? You don't really want me for anything else other than sex… And… You're usually more than just up for it…"
"I know! Ok?! Fuck off! I don't want to do it with you!", as he snapped, he realized his mistake of admitting what really bothered him.
Loly was about to retort, but suddenly realization hit her. She started laughing in a mocking manner and Noitora growled at her threateningly. "So, it's true, huh?", she said after calming down a little.
"What's true?", he growled.
"You're really falling for her.", she laughed.
"What did you say?!", he yelled.
"It was weird how you always followed her around, but now that she has finally allowed you to be near her, it's obvious. You're in love with Nelliel tu Odelschwanck."
"Shut up!" He pushed her off the bed and she landed down with a thud. Loly gasped and quickly ran to the door. Noitora had no energy to chase her. "Fuck off! I better not see your ugly mug anytime soon or else I'll make sure none recognizes you!"
Loly had already left as he shouted. He started breathing heavily and he punched his wall once again. He lied down and eased his breathing. He loathed the idea that Loly or Grimmjow or even Ulquiorra was actually right. He didn't love Nelliel. Yet he felt angry when he heard that Grimmjow was into her. And he felt even worse knowing that Nel would easily say yes to Grimmjow. They would be a good match too… He growled annoyed. He ruined Nelliel's life. He had no right to be a part of it, yet Nel had changed and was treating him in a way he didn't deserve. He hated it how he felt because things between them had changed for the better. It wasn't right. "Damn it all! And why did that bastard Szayel had to die before he brought them over here…?"
The things that he had asked Szayel to bring from the world of the living… Maybe they would have stopped him from feeling despair, but Szayel died and he never told him whether he had what he asked for. Or how to use it. If they finally managed to reach Szayel's destroyed lab, maybe he could search…
Suddenly his door opened and before he could shout to whoever it was to fuck off, Harribel entered, followed by a panicking Tesla. Noitora glared at her. "What do you want?!"
"To speak with you.", she glanced at Tesla. "Alone."
Noitora held her gaze for a moment before he turned to Tesla. "Leave us. I ain't mad at you for letting her in, by the way."
Tesla bowed, glanced at Harribel one last time and left. Noitora forced a smirk on his lips. "So… Are you here to talk about our naughty fraccion?"
Harribel didn't show any emotion on her face. "No, but since you mentioned it, Shung Sun has her own free will. If she wants to be with Tesla, I couldn't care less."
Noitora chuckled. "Lucky little pig. He is finally going to get laid. So, if that wasn't what you wanted to talk about, what is it?"
Harribel sighed. "I managed to finally enter Szayel's lab."
Noitora flinched. "On your own?"
"There wasn't much left to deal with after that monster room. Stark helped me. We got to the lab. And we found something that was meant for you."
Noitora's eye widened. So Szayel did bring them here. And Harribel and Stark knew about it. He stared at her feeling weird. He didn't want anyone to know about it. "So…"
"I'm not going to judge you. Neither me nor Stark. But I don't think that taking antidepressants is going to help without Szayel's instructions. No one here is a doctor and simply taking the pills without any guidance might harm you."
"I'm not really alive, you know. What's the worst they can do to me?"
Harribel looked down. "In your previous life, such things weren't invented. Without a doctor's instructions they can do more harm than good and they won't really cure you. They just make you feel better. I don't know whether you should really take them or not. I am no doctor either. I barely know anything about them. I had also asked Szayel about them and we both agreed that I shouldn't take them."
Noitora glared at her. "What would you need them for?"
Harribel looked at him. "I've lost someone… Someone that lived after I died. My aspect of death is sacrifice. I would die again for them, but there are plenty of times I have wished I had lived with them."
Noitora looked down. "I see… I don't know whether I should take them either… Maybe I should ask the Pet about a doctor or something…"
Harribel nodded. "I think that's the best course of action. Now, will you tell me what's been bothering you? I met Nel on the way here. She is in her child form and it's obvious she worries a lot about you."
"Tsk. That idiot. She should worry about herself."
"Is it about your relationship and how it has changed for the better?", asked Harribel with a knowing look.
He simply looked away and huffed. Harribel sighed. "I won't interfere with you two, but if you want everything to go well, I believe you should be honest with yourself."
"I… I don't think I can…"
Harribel looked at the ceiling with an unreadable expression. "I know it's hard, but the only way you'll be okay is if you face what's really bothering you about Nelliel. And you should know that I support you. Whatever you decide."
His eye widened. "What if what bothers me is the fact that she is still alive, huh?! Will you still support my decision to kill her?"
Harribel allowed a soft smile on her face that barely could be seen through her mask. "I wouldn't. But, I know that your decision is far from that. I believe you want to make peace with her. You feel guilty for what you did and you are starting to like the attention she is giving you."
Noitora stared at Harribel surprised and, to his annoyance, he felt his cheeks turning red. He looked away embarrassed. "That…"
Harribel turned around. "You are the one that is going to decide whether what I just said is true. I won't tell anyone about this, you have my word. I think that this is what you actually needed to hear and not how much you love her and all the crap that Grimmjow is spouting. I wouldn't go that far. You're the one to decide how you feel about her, but you need to realize what the first thing you actually want from her is. I would bet her forgiveness, but you are the one that knows that. "
And with that, Harribel left him alone with his thoughts. He hated how right she was, but somehow, the way she told him all these didn't anger him. She wasn't attacking him and maybe that's what he needed. He sighed and looked up. Right. He had to be honest with himself and ask the real question. What did he want from Nelliel?
He closed his eye. He imagined her praising him and telling him how much he had changed. He frowned as he tried to put a name to what that was. Acknowledgement, he realized after a while. Acknowledgement from a strong opponent. Now, she wasn't giving him exactly that, but they were making progress. So first of all, he definitely wanted more of that from her. That escalated to having her acceptance, which he guessed he did. And now he wanted it more… He opened his eye. He liked the attention Nelliel was giving him and he was glad that she accepted him despite what he had done to her. So forgiveness was one thing but he also wanted her to accept and… want him. He scoffed. "Damn it, Nelliel! Why am I so fucked up?"
She wouldn't accept him. Not this way. Someone like Grimmjow was better suited for her. He was more handsome (not that Noitora would admit that out loud), treated her better and never brought up as an excuse that she was a woman as a reason to dislike her.
He never meant it. He didn't dislike her for being a woman, but for the way she used to treat him. And now he liked the way she did. Even though he didn't deserve it.
He always thought that she was a gorgeous woman, but her character was annoying him to no end. But now, he was falling for her and he despised himself more for doing so. What an idiot he was. "Tesla!"
The fraccion came in a little hesitantly. "Yes, master Noitora?"
"I'm a fool, aren't I?"
Tesla blinked. "Wh-"
"Be honest with me Tesla. I'm an idiot. Especially when it comes to Nelliel."
Tesla looked at him unsure of what to actually say. "Master Noitora-"
"I won't hurt you. Just tell me what you think."
Tesla smiled. "I believe that you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself, Master Noitora."
Noitora chuckled. "I agree.", he said grinning. "I always do anything I can to annoy her, but in reality I… I want to talk to her. And now I even gave the ok to Grimmjow to be with her…"
"Does lady Nelliel know about Grimmjow liking her?"
"I told her. She'll definitely say yes. I mean, it's Grimmjow after all."
"I wouldn't bet on it.", said Tesla smiling.
Noitora frowned. "Don't be an idiot Tesla. She isn't blind from what I've seen."
Tesla chuckled and went to the door. "I bet, she'll say no."
Noitora smirked. "You're on."
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The following morning they had all gathered to wait for Orihime's arrival. Noitora stayed in the back, not really wanting to be noticed by the others much. He noticed that Nel had changed back to her adult form. Grimmjow approached her confidently and Noitora looked away. Ulquiorra approached him. Noitora sighed. "Shouldn't you be in the front waiting for your girl?"
"Orihime will see me and come to talk to me on her own. I won't pressure her to talk to me first. She's got other people she wants to talk to. As for you, are you really alright with Grimmjow and Nelliel?
Noitora sighed again. "Nothing I can do about it. It's just like you said, she has the right to choose whatever she wants herself."
Tesla chuckled. "The bet is still on, Master Noitora."
"And I'll probably win.", said Noitora. "Weird, how much I hate that I'll win this."
He allowed himself to look at Nel and Grimmjow even though it hurt him a lot. Grimmjow was grinning as he spoke to her and he had lowered his eyelids to give himself a lustier look. Nel was listening to him carefully, not betraying any emotion. After a while, Grimmjow stopped talking and looked at her expectantly. Nel looked down with a thoughtful expression and suddenly she glanced at Noitora. Noitora froze and looked away feeling heat spreading to his face. This was the last thing he wanted right now, for her to notice him.
He glanced back at them hesitantly, but now Nel was talking to Grimmjow with a smile on her face.
Grimmjow looked surprised for a moment but then he chuckled and grinned at her.
Noitora looked at Tesla. "See, I won."
Tesla smirked. "I don't think so, Master Noitora."
"Don't be a fool Tesla. Didn't you see Grimmjow's smile?"
"What about my smile?"
Noitora flinched and cursed himself for not realizing that Grimmjow had joined them. "Nothing, jackass. So, are you gonna get laid with the only female Espada that might be cool with it?"
"Weren't you sleeping with Cirucci when she was also an Espada?", said Grimmjow raising an eyebrow.
"I'm talking about the current female Espada, unless you believe you'll ever have a shot with Harribel."
"Not in a billion years.", was Harribel's reply from right in front of them.
They both sweatdropped. Grimmjow chuckled. "Anyway, Nelliel said no."
Noitora almost chocked on his own saliva. "Wait, what?!"
Tesla started humming next to him and Ulquiorra looked at him like it was obvious that Nel would say no. "Why did she say no?", asked Noitora.
Grimmjow chuckled. "She said that she was flattered, but she has her eyes on someone else."
Noitora flinched and glanced at Nel, who was looking where Orihime would soon appear, humming to herself.
"She has her eyes on someone else…?", repeated Noitora.
"That means I won.", said Tesla. "And that you should stop sabotaging yourself, Master Noitora."
Noitora chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He didn't want to admit it, but he felt warmth in his chest and he knew that he was happy.
End of Chapter 7
A/N: And I finally finished it! Well a lot of stuff has been happening and thus this chapter was delayed a lot more than I wanted. I will try to post the next chapter before April, but from April till early June, I'll be on Madrid for Erasmus and I won't be writing till I come back. On a better note when it comes to my fanfictions, I'm almost done with my University project, so I'll have more time to write, but yeah as I said before, for a total of two months I won't be writing at all. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the new chapter and I hope I'll manage to post another one before I leave. As for lemons in this story, since it was addressed on , I'm planning on writing lemons only on archive of our own, since is getting stricter about lemons and I'm planning on putting warnings on the chapters so that people that don't want to read lemons can avoid them. That's all for now, till next time!
