Short chapter... It's about to get real.. I'm sorry. But it will eventually get better. I am just so tired of writing them in high school and need the story to progress somehow.


Marina POV

The following Monday she walked out of the house with Cartman. She was seriously fighting herself on not just driving. But she knew the guys would start to get curious and she didn't want to stop riding with them.. It was friend time.. And she knew that she and Kenny went weekends before without talking, but she was missing him already. It was only two days and she cried all of her tears out yesterday. She didn't even try at all today, she wore no makeup and had her coat on over her hoodie that she paired with black leggings.

Kenny walked up to the car and put his cigarette out on her driveway before getting in behind her. She shoved her hands in her pockets, slouching down in her seat.

"You feeling okay Mar?" Kyle asked.

She nodded, "Just didn't sleep much this weekend. My eyes hurt so I didn't try to put makeup on."

"You doing okay?"

She nodded, looking at the road ahead of the car. She wanted to look at Kenny so badly, but she forced herself not to. She knew he wouldn't care. He wouldn't give her a reassuring look anymore.

"You sure you're okay? You look like you did the day after you and Adam broke up." Kyle continued, but whispered this time.

She felt like crying again, because this felt worse than that had. Much worse. She didn't sob for Adam like she sobbed this weekend.

For some reason she looked over to Kenny, hoping for him to cover for her. But he was leaning over against the window, resting his chin on his arm as he stared out of it. Her eyes fell to his legs that were leaned toward the door. He was clearly doing his best not to touch her.

"Just dealing with dumb shit." Her voice was hoarse from crying every part of her raw this weekend.

"Kenny and Marina broke up." Cartman finally announced.

"We were never dating dumb ass. You can't break up with someone you aren't dating." Kenny snapped at him, barely lifting his head.

"I heard you yelling about all the things you weren't doing for her anymore." Cartman shook his head.

"Maybe you should mind your own business Cartman!" She snapped as well.

"Never have, and I never will." He shrugged, "What I heard sounded like a break up. And Marina cried all weekend long."

Kenny scoffed, "I'm surprised she cried at all."

"Fuck you Ken." She whispered.

"This is why you shouldn't have sex with your friends." Cartman kept going.

"Cartman! Can you shut the fuck up!?" Stan sharply cut in.

"That's funny coming from you when you were making jokes about banging Marina all the time." Kyle shook his head.

"And I didn't because we would have ended up like Kenny and Marina! Look at him, he's like trying to escape being near her, they're probably not even friends anymore."

"How much of the conversation did you even hear Cartman? Because we are still friends." Kenny groaned.

"Just no longer best." She whispered numbly.

"I'm just no longer going out of my way for her." He added, "I'm not favoring her anymore. I don't want to talk about this! It sucks enough. Can we all just shut the fuck up about Marina and I for the rest of our damn lives and talk about other shit?"

"Yes." Stand replied.

First period was already awkward for a while but now it was just entirely awkward. She couldn't wait for their block classes to change after Christmas break.

She wrote their names on the top of the paper. Feeling sick to her stomach writing his name. Kenny was leaning forward on his desk with his head resting on his hand as he looked at the paper.

"Do you want to discuss the chapters?" She asked softly, glancing at him.

His eyes didn't leave the paper, "Sure."

They quietly discussed them and she wrote the paper. She felt like she was just partnered with someone she knew but didn't really take to and it felt entirely too awkward. After what felt like hours, even though it was only about 15 minutes, they finished and started reading their chapters for the day.

The entire week was awful. Kenny was clearly acting wild again. He was late sometimes, he was high almost every day he was getting picked up. She had never seen him smoke right before going to school and then right after being dropped off. She wasn't even smoking that much. But it became an after school and before bed thing even more than it already was. Friday morning she noticed a hickey on his neck. It made her remember the ones he left on her thighs. She wondered if he let the girl do it on purpose. To try and hurt her. Even though he said he didn't want to hurt her.

She didn't didn't want to go to the football game that night but Wendy talked her into cheering. She wasn't sure she could put a real smile on her face. She did her best to fake one. Bebe and Wendy insisted on helping her do her makeup before as well.

When she looked at herself in the mirror before going to the field, she realized this was the most normal she had looked all week.

She tried her best not to even look at Kenny the entire game. But of course she happened to see him talking to some girl at the fence line. She twirled her hair in her hand as she looked up at him sweetly. He laughed with her but she could tell it wasn't real.

"We are going to Tokens tonight. You're coming right?" Wendy asked.

"Hell yes. I need all the drinks I can find."

Of course Kenny and that girl were making out right outside of the kitchen. She poured her glass to the top with a flavored vodka. Nothing else. It burned when she took a sip but she savored the alive feeling it gave her.

"Hey Marina." Some guy slid up beside her.

"Not tonight." She didn't even look at him before walking off.

She ended up in a game of beer pong with some random dude. She was failing miserably. But she continued drinking.

Going back into the kitchen to get another drink, of course he was there. She walked to the other side of the island and grabbed a few vodka bottles and mixed them into a cup.

"You're gonna black out if you keep drinking like you are." She heard his voice and looked up, he was looking down at his drink with his eyebrows up.

"Are you talking to me?" She asked.

He nodded slowly.

"I'm trying to black out. I really don't know why you're concerned about what I'm doing."

"Because I don't like it when girls are taken advantage of and you're on the sidelines about to enter the game of horny high school boys. While you're walking around here alone."

"Well I guess it sucks that I'm alone then. Maybe they'll help me forget about your ass. You seem to be doing well with that."

Kenny scoffed, "Forget about me? And I'm not doing well at all. But I won't be around to save your ass tonight so you should be careful."

"If I get taken advantage of, then I guess that's my problem, not yours. Maybe I want someone to fuck me. And I really don't give a shit about if they're drunk or not. None of it is your business anymore."

"Marina, I'm still your friend and I'm looking out for you like Kyle and Stan do."

"Yet nobody is around right now." She drunkenly swung her hand around in the air dramatically, "I'm not your problem Ken."


Kenny PoV

Kenny couldn't focus on anything. He wasn't even having fun anymore. He watched her as she went around doing anything and everything. She had made out with three dudes since he last spoke to her. He didn't even want to talk to her but when she walked up and he already knew she was drunk. He couldn't help himself. He still loved her and he hated it. He hated that he couldn't stop. Kenny thought cutting their shit off would help, but now he just hurt way worse. He missed at least being close to her so much that it was physically killing him. He already thought about killing himself in some really painful way but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even with knowing he'd be back. Even though he'd committed suicide a million times. He suddenly had that tiny fear of what if he didn't come back this time.

Marina was so drunk that most of the guys weren't even trying to get with her. Once they realized how drunk she was they walked away. Some of them didn't walk away until he glared at them. He was thankful that most guys at the school weren't complete trash.

Marina stumbled up the steps from the basement, looking incredibly pale. She made her way out of the front door.

He wanted to just ignore her. Pretend she would find some way home. Pretend that she was okay. He wanted to stay strong in what he said and did. He couldn't face the potential humiliation of begging her to be his best friend again. He ruined that and he knew it wasn't changing now. She was so quiet around him and rude.

He told himself not to go but then he had a thought of what if she started walking home. It was a long way from here.. That's when he found his feet heading toward the door.

Marina was on the ground in the grass all alone throwing up. He had never felt so bad for her in his entire life. He couldn't help but wonder, Where the fuck were their friends?

Sighing, he walked across the yard and pulled her hair up out of her face. That's when he realized, not only was she throwing up, she was sobbing.

He closed his eyes and counted to 10, trying to keep his mind occupied so that he wouldn't feel like crying with her. Kenny felt like he was the reason for her tears. He didn't want to hurt her, yet clearly he hurt her bad. And he definitely knew it. That wasn't even including the mental breakdown she had been on verge of having since her mom left. The change in her clothes and the fact she wasn't trying anymore like she had been. But he felt like the only reason she was drinking like that was most likely to try and get over the fact she lost her best friend, all because she didn't want to date him. Yet? Ever? He wasn't sure, he couldn't even remember. He thought maybe that last time she'd fight for him. But when she didn't, it broke his heart. He would have fought the entire world for her. Shit, he was standing there holding her hair while she was throwing up in the middle of sobbing and he promised himself he wouldn't be her hero again. He told her he wouldn't be like this for her anymore. Yet, instead of being his old self and inside drunk as hell finding a girl on his sober level, he was outside helping the girl he didn't want to be around, but still wanted to be. The conflict in his mind was enough to punch him in the gut over and over again.

"Can you go find my friends?" She cried into her hands, "Please?"

"Where are your keys Marina?" He asked softly.

"Kenny?" She sobbed his name so hard that he instantly teared up. Fuck..

Marina turned around and looked up at him, her cheeks were covered in makeup and she looked like a complete and total mess, but the most beautiful mess he'd ever seen. He just wanted to cup her face and tell her it was all okay. But he couldn't.

"I know you don't wanna do anything for me.. but.. can you.. go find someone to take me home?" She slurred terribly through her sobs and it took him a minute to understand her.

"Where are your keys?" He asked again.

She pulled them out of the pocket of her jeans, "Don't ask Bebe. She's too drunk."

"Everyones too drunk in there. Even Kyle. Come on." He held his hand out.

She wobbly tried to stand on her own. He watched as she stumbled forward, his hand reached out onto her shoulder and stopped her.

"Don't… please don't.. touch me… okay?" She cried.

"Sorry. Come on." He dropped his hand down and she stumbled toward the car.

He turned the car on and started toward home. Marina sniffed, "Why are you doing this for me?" She mumbled tiredly.

"I'd do this for any of my friends. I'm not a piece of shit." He scoffed.

"You know, I just wasn't ready to date yet. I would have slept with you exclusively if you would have just asked instead of ending a 7 or so year friendship."

"We're still friends." He swallowed, "I thought it was pretty obvious I didn't want to share."

"Doesn't feel like it." She slurred terribly.

Kenny sighed, "I don't know how to not be your best friend."

"That's okay. I'm moving anyway."

"What? When?"

"Next week. I already talked to my mom. Gonna finish the school year online."

He swallowed hard, clenching his jaw to fight back the tears that wanted to fall. Knowing his chance was completely gone. She wouldn't even be here if she ever changed her mind.