WARNING! Sex scene in the first part.


Marina stood in the shower, washing her face furiously.

"Don't freak out and don't scream." Kenny's voice spoke behind her and she leapt into the air.

"Kenny!" She whispered in a gasp. She started to face him but his hands grabbed her waist, stopping her.

"Don't turn around. Hands against the wall. Bend over." He breathed.

"What the hell are you doing in here!" She whisper yelled, even as she found herself listening to him embarrassingly fast.

His hands slid down from her waist and grabbed both of her cheeks of her ass hard. She bit her lip, "Kenny!?" She asked softly when he didn't answer.

"Why the hell do you think I am in here, Marina?! Now, do you want me to fuck you or not?!" He snapped back in a whisper, stepping forward and pressing his body against her butt before reaching around the front of her and sliding his hand between her legs. His other hand wrapped around her stomach.

"Is this make up sex?" She breathed toward the wall.

"Hah!" He let out a quiet, single laugh, "Make up sex would require us dating after. Would require us to like each other again. We won't be doing any of that. I don't even care if you do. I don't want that anymore." He whispered darkly.

He slipped two fingers inside and she let out a shuddering breath, she forgot how good it felt to have his body molded against hers, his hands touching her.

"Why are you doing this then?"

"Because I want to… How many guys did you screw in Cali?"

She stared at the wall sadly.

"Marina. How many?"

"How many more girls in the surrounding area did you screw while I was in Cali?"

"Not really your business. And I was asking you."

"I don't see how it's any of your business either."

"I want to know if I can just go in or if I need to go find a condom. Just tell me." He sighed, his warm breath brushing over her wet skin.

"I'm clean. How do I know if you're clean? You're the one who screws anyone who agrees. I'm picky."

"You know I can easily renew my body. You can't."

"It doesn't matter how many. I'm clean."

Suddenly his hand slid up to her waist and he pushed inside, hard.

She braced her hands against the wall, biting her lip to stop the loud moan, but it still forced its way out sounding guttural and strained.

"Did any of them make you feel like I can?" He whispered.

She shook her head.

"Words Marina."

"N-no." He slammed his hips hard and she slid forward a little.

She started to turn around and he slammed hard again, "Don't look at me." He snapped, grabbing her hair and forcing her forehead against the tile wall.

"Why not! If I can't look at you why are you even doing this?" She snapped back.

"I already told you! Because I want to! And maybe because I want you to remember how good I feel and how big I am. Maybe I want to ruin everyone else for you again. And mainly, because I am a selfish dick sometimes and I miss how good your body feels wrapped around my dick and how sexy it looks under my hands. This is more for me than you." He shoved in hard again. They both muffled a groan with closed lips.

"Why can't I look at you then? Trying to picture me as someone else?" She asked breathlessly, right before he thrust hard again. He let go of her hair and gripped hard onto her waist, she pushed off the wall a little, but kept her eyes on the tile in front of her.

"I definitely cannot picture you as anyone else when I know what your body looks and feels like. I just..fuck! I just don't want to be tempted to kiss you. So don't look at me!"

"So are we just going to have hate sex then?"

"Yep. I've decided we will whenever I want to."

"Bold. What if I say no?"

He shoved harder than before and her hands slipped against the wall. Her face smacked against the hard tile. He reached out and pushed hard on her cheek as his other arm stayed wrapped around her stomach.

He leaned forward, "If you don't want it.. Then tell me no. Tell me to stop." He breathed huskily into her ear.

She sucked in both of her lips between her teeth to keep herself quiet.

"You want it too. So shut up."

"I really don't like you being such an ass to me."

"Well I really didn't like that the only girl I actually wanted to date, that I thought was my best friend, broke my heart. But here we are." He bit her earlobe, sucking hard as he pulled back.

He shoved his hips faster, going as deep as he could. She bit back her moans, her hands searching for anything to grab as leverage.

His hand pressed her cheek harder against the tile.

"Marina?" He breathed.

"Kenny?" She asked, she wasn't sure if he was just saying her name, but his tone definitely sounded like a question.

"This changes nothing."

"I know."

"And you live with Cartman, you really should be locking your doors when you're showering. You didn't even hear me come in here."

"The fan's on and I was washing my face."

"He's a perv."

"So are you."

Neither of them said anything else, he continued until he was done and then he stepped out of the shower and was gone almost as fast as he came in there.

Marina leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor, hugging her legs to her chest and let out the silent sob she was holding the minute he let go of her.

She didn't bother to wipe her tears. They fell freely and she sniffed loudly as she pressed her forehead to her knee.

She was so sick of regretting things. Regretting coming home that day to find her dad. Regretting even opening the door. Regretting leaving. Regretting ever giving in to her temptation with her best friend and changing everything between them. Regretting trusting him not to break her heart. She missed him so badly it hurt. She missed laughing with him and just being normal. And she hated that she didn't even care that he was being an ass. Because she still wanted him.


The following morning, she climbed into the car and sat down carefully on the middle seat. It had been a long time since she had anyone his size and after his roughness, she was incredibly sore.

He leaned against the door again, as if he still needed to be as far from her as he could be.

She laid her head back against the seat, closing her eyes.

"Her Mar, Token is supposed to be having a party this weekend. You're coming right?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there." She nodded, not bothering to open her eyes, "Could definitely use a drink."

He rolled over a bump and she winced.

"You okay?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah.. I just.. slept weird. Sore."

She heard Kenny let out a breath and she snuck a glance over at him, he was faintly smiling as he looked out of his window.

"I can drive so that I can drive you home after." Cartman offered.

Her eyes moved to him, "I'd trust a stranger before I would trust you to take care of me drunk."

"Wow. So sweet."

"Maybe if you didn't make sex jokes about me I would. But I don't want you trying to play out your little fantasies when I am not in a clear state of mind."

"Are you worried you'd accept me if you are drunk?" He grinned.

"You just love to continue digging your holes deeper and deeper don't you?"

"Not really. Just gonna keep trying until you get annoyed and give in."

"I'll drive her home." Kyle cut in.

"You've been getting as drunk as the rest of us at parties Kyle." Cartman laughed.

"I'll drink less."

"I'll take her home. I usually end up taking her home anyway." Kenny finally spoke up again, his voice soft, almost as if he was unsure if she would attack him for saying it.

"Can you make it through a party without drinking and fucking?" Cartman gave him a mocking tone.

"I just won't get really drunk." Kenny shrugged.

"I really don't get you. You act like you can't stand her yet you're swooping in to be a DD hero."

"I know how to handle Marina when she's drunk. She's difficult and a lot. Especially when she's emotionally drinking. I doubt she wants to even be back here, so I'm sure she's going to be emotionally drinking. Trust me, you don't want to be the one having to deal with her."

"I really don't know if I should be taking that as a compliment or not."

"It wasn't one." He shook his head, "I'd just rather do it than hear one of these guys bitch about it on Monday."

"Ouch." She whispered.

"Maybe Wendy can bring her home." Stan finally spoke up.

"Wendy gets more drunk than me at parties." Marina laughed a little.

"True."

"I'll just do it. Really. It's not a big deal and then I'll be able to walk home after."

"Or you can just stay the night at our house after." Cartman suggested, "If you drive her home can you bring me home too?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not dealing with both of you drunk at the same time."

"So you're telling me that I will have to find myself a ride home even when you're going to my house?" Cartman asked.

"Kenny stop being an ass. I'll make sure he brings you too."

"I'm not babysitting him."

"But you'll babysit me?"

"He's just hoping to get back into your pants after. So he wants to be alone."

"Cartman." Kyle warned.

"Dude if I wanted to get back into her pants I'd do it sober. And she'd accept me with zero alcohol in her system."

"You have so much faith in yourself. It's funny. You guys are barely friends anymore. You don't even talk to her when you come over. And-"

"-Can we drop this?" She asked softly.

"Right? Cartman's jealousy over not getting to have you is annoying as hell." Kyle sighed.

Kenny laughed quietly.

"Okay whatever." Cartman groaned.

"Don't even get mad dude, you brought it up, yet again." Stan laughed.

"He just can't stand the idea that she keeps turning him down." Kenny added.

"Shut the fuck up Kenny."

"How about we all shut up unless we are talking about something other than Kenny and I's sex lives."

"Please." Kyle agreed.

"Does anybody else have Miss. Penny for Spanish?" Stan asked.

"Yes." Kyle answered.

"Does her mole drive you crazy?"

"Yes." He laughed, "I know she has to see that long ass hair that's growing from it. I don't know why she doesn't just pluck it. You wouldn't even need tweezers for that thing."

"Right! It is killing me! Every day! It's all I can see. I can even see it from my seat while she's teaching. I can't focus on anything she's saying."

"I don't think anyone can. She's always complaining that everyone is failing her class."

They both started laughing, Marina giggled a little.

Stan turned into the school and she winced as they went over the bump.

Kenny turned to look at her and grinned.

She rolled her eyes before looking forward.


"Hey Butters." She greeted him as she sat down beside him.

"Hey Marina." He sighed, sending her a weak smile.

"I heard about what happened. Have you thought about just talking to her?"

"She's tried to talk to me. A lot. But I don't know. It just.. Sucks. I don't trust her not to do it again. And I wanted to be her first kiss of the year. Kenny steals everything. You know he's completely changed since you left? I really think he was a better person when you guys were best friends. I used to think he was cool and he was at least respectful of people and their relationships. And he used to be really nice to me.. But.. but now he's just an asshole."

"Feeling is mutual Butters. Seriously. He is a total dick to me now. But I think he's just going through some shit. And I think he was really going through shit on New Years. I doubt he really wanted to break you guys up. Was he really drunk?"

"He was super drunk."

"Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly."

"Maybe." Butters shrugged.

"You should just talk to Lisa. Maybe try at least being friends again? And then see what happens." She gave him a small smile.

Butters nodded, "I guess I could try that."

"It's what I would do."


When she walked into biology she placed her stuff down, stepping on the bar of the stool to lift herself up before slowly sitting onto the metal.

"Sore?" Kenny smirked at her.

"Don't even act like you don't know." She rolled her eyes.

"Good. It's harder to forget me when you're feeling me even afterward."

"If I wasn't so pissed at you. I might find that kinda funny. Kenny you really fucked up Butters and he's only ever been a good friend to you." She whispered aggressively.

"Whoa okay. Laying it on thick already."

"See. The fuck is this? What is that reply? The old Kenny wouldn't act like this. You're failing in school. When you know you had every opportunity for a sports scholarship. You have like zero morals about other people's relationships. And you're screwing over people who actually liked you. You're like a total asshole now. For what? Because you didn't get your way? You have worked for everything you have. Including your phone. And you're going to let everything fall to shit because I wasn't ready to date you?" She told him in a hushed voice.

"I really don't want to talk about this here." He snapped back in a whisper.

"I really don't give a shit. I'm not going to stand here and pretend you aren't acting like a fucking dick to everyone now. What happened to the old Kenny? Did he really give up that easily?"

"The old Kenny is gone Marina. Long gone. You ripped him up and threw him in the trash and left like he didn't matter. You know what happened between us in my room that night. You know how it felt.. And you didn't say another word to me! Until you sat down in this classroom the other day! Don't act like you suddenly give a shit! I gave you everything. I had a moment with you that I have never given to anyone else! I have never done that kind of shit we did that night with anyone before! And all you did was walk away like we had nothing! Nothing at all! Don't try and come to me like you have any say in what I do and who I am. I'm not that weak ass little bitch anymore. I will never cry again. I will never have anything other than meaningless sex again! I'm done giving a shit. I'm letting everything fall to shit because I'm just so done and sick of the hand that life keeps dealing me. Now, I really don't care that you didn't want to date me, I don't have those feelings for you anymore. I only screwed you last night because I love the way your body feels. I did it because I wanted to. Not to heal us. Not to make you happy. For me. And I'll do it a thousand times, no strings attached. Isn't that what you wanted Marina? No strings? No feelings at all? I'm here for it, now. If you don't like the new Kenny, then that's too fucking bad. This is me now. Get over it." He whispered quickly.

Just then, the teacher walked in.

Marina swallowed the lump in her throat, "Fuck you Kenny McCormick." She whispered softly, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.

"No fuck you Marina Morrison. You don't get to be mad. You are the reason I am this way now. You broke me. You chose to break me after I literally gave you my entire heart. You chose not to talk to me again. If you want to be mad at anyone, be mad at yourself!"

She grabbed her stuff and stormed toward the front of the room.

"Marina? Where are you going?"

"I don't feel good." She mumbled as she barely held herself together.

As soon as she reached the hallway she let out the breath she was holding. It came out as a sob. The tears burned her vision and she raced down the hall to get to the bathroom.

She turned the corner and ran into a body.

"Sorry." She mumbled, keeping her blurry eyes on the floor.

"Whoa, it's okay. Hey, what's going on? What happened?" Kyle's voice made her look up quickly.

"I can't do this. I can't be here. I fucked up and I'm so sorry. I did all of this and it's my fault. And all because I was stupid and now I feel like shit." She blurted out messily.

"What Mar? Dude, that made no sense. Come here." He wrapped his arms over her shoulders and she pressed her forehead against his chest, sobbing silently.

"I fucked up Kenny." She whispered, "I fucked him up."

"He's just hurting. Give him a little bit of a break. Just remember that he's hurting. He's not used to this shit. He has never let anyone break his heart before. He doesn't know how it feels and he's not handling it well. Just let his shit attitude go for now. He will heal. He will get better. Just be a friend."

"He doesn't want to be my friend."

"He does. It's just hard right now. The dude literally offered to drive you home this weekend. That's the nicest thing I've heard him say since you left."

"Seriously?" She sniffed.

"Yes. I'm so serious. He's been the one getting so trashed we have to literally carry him out of parties and sometimes he disappears and we have to leave without him."

"That's all my fault though."

"You didn't ask him to act like this. He chose to." Kyle rubbed his hand over her back soothingly.

"He came into my shower last night." She whispered softly.

"What?" He asked quickly.

"He came into-"

"-No I heard you. But what do you mean?"

"I mean he came in there. Treated me like crap. And I still let him do what he wanted."

"What the fuck?" Kyle asked angrily.

"He gave me the option to tell him to leave and I just.. couldn't. Because I miss him. So fucking much. I just want to laugh with him again. Bullshit like we used to."

"Marina." Kyle sighed.

"I should have told him to get out. I'm so stupid."

"First of all you're not stupid. You guys are just not.. handling feelings well. You're scared of getting hurt again and he's upset because he's never faced rejection."

"It wasn't like I wasn't going to date him ever. I just.. Adam really fucked me up. Fucked relationships up for me. I can't just get over that quickly. And Kenny could hurt me more than anyone else. He already has. Not being best friends anymore has really hurt. It feels worse than a break up, really. I didn't feel this hurt after being cheated on. And now he's in my face and treating me like trash."

"He will get over it. Just give him time Mar. He's seriously hurt. I've never seen Kenny like this."

"And I feel terrible because it's my fault."

"You can't help who you have feelings for. And he should have been more understanding that you're not ready. He just doesn't get it. He wasn't ever in a long toxic relationship. He doesn't know the toll it has on your mind."

"You probably need to get back to class."

"Class can wait. You need a friend."

"It's okay really. I'm going to go into the bathroom until lunch."

"I'm not going to let you cry alone in the bathroom until lunch." He sighed, "Come on. Let's just sit on the floor against the lockers." He stepped back and they walked over to the side.

She slid down the locker and as soon as she sat on the floor the ache just reminded her of him all over again. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face into them.

Kyle rubbed her back softly as she silently cried.


They stayed that way until the bell rang. She quickly leaned up and wiped her face before standing up and following him to the cafeteria.

Nicole dropped into the spot beside her and Bebe sat in the other. Bebe nudged her, "You okay Mar?"

Marina knew her face was most likely puffy and she had cried all of her makeup off.

"I'll be fine."

Stan and Wendy sat down in front of her. Kenny plopped down into the seat beside Stan, across from Bebe. His eyes met hers and he looked down. She looked away.

"What's up losers?" Cartman asked as he sat down beside Kenny.

"Marina what's wrong?" He asked quickly, his happy voice changing to concern.

"I'm fine." She whispered, her eyes moving to him, "Just dealing with some stuff. I'll be okay." She bravely let her gaze cross over Kenny, who was looking down at his food.

"Did you talk to your mom or something?"

"I said I'll be fine Cartman. Don't pry."

"Okay. Damn. Sorry."

"Cartman. Just shut up." Kyle cut in quickly.

"So anyway, did you guys hear about the theme for Tokens party?" Bebe asked.

"Theme?" Marina gave her a confused look.

"Oh yeah. Token wanted to do themes for the rest of the year. Kinda like a way to make our final parties interesting."

"Last time it was a hip hop party. So you dressed up in clothes you'd see in hip hop and they played music to fit." Stan told her.

"What's this weekends?"

"Punk rock."

Marina laughed, "Seriously?"

"Yes! So wear you best emo clothes, or punk rock clothes and get wasted with me!" Bebe laughed as well.

"I'm down." Marina smiled at her.

"Awesome!"

"Marina we are going to Hot Topic later to get some band tees if you wanna come." Wendy told her.

"Yeah. Sounds fun." She nodded.