AN: this is just a little test idea of a crack filled vision I got recently. More info after the chapter. Enjoy!


Location: Empire Bay, New Jersey

Time: 10:30

Date: September 25th, 1951.

Empire Bay. To most people it's just a mini New York... But to others, it's a sin of mobsters, crime, booze, broads, and dope all mixed into one unhappy family. Some people try to live their lives as usual and shrug off the horrors rampaging their city. While others have to bear witness the worse of humanity.

Our view takes us to Greenfield, a suburb part of the city that usually no one ever thinks crime will occur... Until today, as our attention focuses on an old man watering his plants. He looked to be in his mid 50s, and in some parts looking like he's ready to accept death at a moment's notice.

A red Smithfield Thunderbolt then slowly drives by the man and stops a short distance away. Two men get out and start walking to the old person. One was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with brown overcoat and black jeans, while the other was similar albeit had brown pants and a white undershirt. It's Vito Scarletta and Joe Barbaro. And they're on a favor for another 'family' from Lost Heaven, MI.

"Mister, Angelo?" Vito questioned the man as the two slowly approach, Joe reaching for the 'favor' under his jacket. 'Angelo' threw the hose down and turned to face the two men with a small yet accepting 'Yes' from his mouth.

"Mister Salieri sends his regards." Vito finished. The man realized what's going on and closed his eyes, accepting fate right as Joe pulls out a Remington 870AE and shoots a loaded buckshot right into his chest.


As the two walked back to their getaway car and start to drive away. Vito could make out the man's presumed wife and kid running outside wondering what occurred, before he can comment on it though the car's police scanner interrupted his thoughts.

"THIS IS AGENT COX, REPORTING ON A HOMICIDE DOWN IN GREENFIELD. SUSPECT IS ABOUT SIX FEET TALL, MEDIUM BUILD, AND ARMED. I NEED ALL AGENTS IN VICINITY ON HAND. NOW GOD DAMNIT!" The two look back and see a cavalcade of police cruisers speeding right behind them.

"SHIT! LET'S GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE VITO, STEP ON IT!" Joe screamed as the two sped into downtown evading the feds best they could.

"THESE ASSHOLES WON'T LET UP... GUESS HE REALLY WAS UNDER FED PROTECTION!" Vito screamed to his buddy as they make a sharp turn.

"YEAH WELL MAYBE EDDIE DIDN'T KNOW ABAUTT- SHIT! WATCH OUT VITO!" Before Vito could reply, he turned to see a ball of light careening towards their path sucking the two men in as the car slowly grinds to a stop.

The feds tried to figure out what happens to the two, but with the increasing conflicts with the families and remnants of the triads, the case went cold and remains to this day unsolved for 50 Years...


Residence: Timmy Turner's Bedroom.

Location: Dimmesdale, PA.

Time: 17:45, September 25th, 2002.

Life's been hell for a sixteen year old Timmy Turner recently... The stereotypical bullying, a failing crush for a rich girl, and a crazed babysitter named Vicky his parents keep hiring with a knack to make him his fucking slave has been straining the teen.

it was just a normal evening for him... His parents hire Vicky while they go see a few films, Vicky trying to frame bad deeds and send him to hell, the usual. He wanted it to end...

Sighing, he walked to a familiar "Nine-ball" he recently found at a drift store. After grabbing it, he sat back down on his bed, and started to ask the ball some questions.

"Oh magic-9 ball.." The boy groaned as he started to shake the thing, "When are my parents coming back from the movies?" When the shaking stopped it landed on...

"THE GODFATHER TRILOGY?" He yelped, "My parents'll be there for hours! God DAMNIT!"

He then chucked the shit out of the toy into a wall. As it bounced on the ground, it cracked in two and smoke started to fill the room. Before he can even ask what's happening, instead of expecting genies or fairies... The same two men from Empire Bay plop onto the hardwood floor.


"Ugh... Maledetto inferno you drive like my grandma still, Vito.." The 'Hawaiian shirt' groaned. "Ay, ain't my fault I didn't see the fuckin wall in front of us Joe! Also, where the fu-"

"Uhmm... what's a 'Maledetto'?" The two stopped to look around and spotted the source of the question. It's Timmy.

"Don't ask. Wait… who the hell are you?" Vito asked.

The teen nervously sweating at two armed gangsters meekly replied. "T-Timmy Turner?"

"Timmy, huh? Alright then. Give you a short gist, the name's Vito Scaletta. Over here's my pal Joe Barbaro."

"How ya doin' buck tooth?" Both introduced themselves before Vito continued, "Ya know where th' fuck we are? Last I remember we were ramming head first into a wall, then suddenly turn up here wi-"


"HEY TWERP!" A voice interrupted, "CAN YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW."

"I got this…" Joe whispered, "HOW'S ABOUT YA SHUT YER FUCKIN' MOUTH DOLL, YOU SCREAM WORSE THAN MY SISTER."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TWERP!?" The voice screamed again.

"YEAH YA HEARD ME. HOW ABOUT I TAKE YOU TO MY PLACE TOOTS AND WE CAN GO PLAY HOUS-" before he can continue the door slam wide open to reveal a very pissed off redhead with cartoonishly flaming eyes.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT, TWERP." She boomed, "YOU DONE FOR TONIGHT. ON MY COUNT I'M CALLING YOUR PARENTS RI-" before she can continue however, Vito snuck in from behind. Aiming his Colt 1911 behind her head,

"I don't like hitting broads, but you need to let the kid go… Now." He sneered. Joe starts to uh-holster his piece as well while Timmy just sits back and pulls a bag of popcorn out of thin air.

"Oh how cute, Timmy…. Not only do I have to call your parents, I'll have tO CALL THE CO-" Vito interrupted her again as he head smacked the babysitter out cold.


"You okay kid?" Vito broke the silence as he turned his face towards Timmy.

"THAT WAS AWESOME! ARE YOU WITH THE MOB?" He beamed back, before the two can reply, a knockoff terminator with wings and a magic wand poofs into the room like nothing with several other "ww2-esque" fairies.

"VHAT IN FAIRLYLAND HAVE YOU TWO DONE!? YOU HAVE BROKEN SE-"

"Woah there, rut. Who the fuck'a you?" Joe interrupted.

"I AM JORGEN VON STRANGLE! ENFORCER OF 'DA RU-" Before he could continue the two men started to laugh. "I'm sorry. Jorgen Von Strangle!? What sour kraut named your sorry as-"

"ENOUGH! Since by the nature of this fic and the powers beyond my limit, I unfortunately have to give you two the task of being Timmy's.. Godfather's" The fairy terminator boomed before summoning two wands to both men.

"OH SHIT! CAN I MAKE ALL'A BROADS ON EAR-"

"NEIN!" Jorgen interrupted Joe's reply, to the sound of everyone minus the 'terminator knockoff' laughing.

"NOW, I NEED TO HEAD BACK TO FAIRY LAND. DO NOT GIVE THE LOCATION OF US AWAY! OR ELSE ALL YOUR PRIVILEGES WILL BE REVOKED! GOODBYE!"And like that, he vanished along with the rest of the fairies.


The room finally was quiet again. Timmy tried to ask many questions at once but was stopped by Vito. "I'll try ta answer them one'atta time, kid." He replied. "But now, we need to take this crazy broad home. Ya with us?" He asked, as the three headed outside with a knocked out Vicky. [OST BEGINS- LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL BY SAM BUERTA.]

"Uh... Sure!" He replied, then realized something "W-Wait! How are we gonna take her there? We don't even know where Vicky lives!" [HEY, HEY! EVERYBODY! LETS HAVE SOME FUN. YOU ONLY LIVE FOR ONCE. BUT WHEN YOU DEAD, YOU'RE DONE!]

"I got an idea, kid..." Joe joked, as he poofed up the same 50s Smithfield from before and started her up. [SO LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!~]

Vito smirks at the idea as he throws Vicky in the trunk and opens the rear seat for Timmy. "Ready Ki- I mean Timmy." [LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!~]

Smiling at his new Fairly 'godfathers' he nodded as he hopped into the backseat of the Thunderbolt and sped on to his babysitter's residence and thus bringing in a new wave of terror and fun onto Dimmsdale... [DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU'RE YOUNG OR OLD I'LL LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!]


[END OST]

AN: Well... That was an opening. Now you maybe wondering what the hell this is? I'll gladly answer! I've been a fan of the Mafia series by Illusion Softworks (Now Hanger 13) for many years.

And recently been bitten to play it recently. Around the same time I've been re-thinking of Fairly odd parents as well and decided to scan through the crossover fics...

Which, to no one's fucking surprise, filled with way too god damn many shitty kids shows and nothing related to series I actually like. After scanning through the millionth slop filled loud house crossover, my brain decided "hey, what the hell would the show look like if Cosmo and Wanda were replaced by Vito Scaletta and Joe Barbaro?"

Thus, Fairly Godfather was born. Now I'm gonna set some rules up here.

First off, yes Timmy, Vicky, and the rest of his school mates/friends have been aged up. Giving an 11 year old guardian protection from a womanizing Hawaiian shirt like joke and war vet Vito would be too chaotic for me. And no. It's not for smut. Fuck off coomers.

Second, we're not doing every episode. Only ones that are controversial, good, separated in parts, and are hour long specials are included.

And finally... sigh. I will have our lad Timmy fall in love with Trixie... (Fuck you Vicky stans. Ya'inz are psychotic to shit. Also any 'gal' trying to act all S.T.A.L.K.E.R mode is against the Lord's will, so fuck you too Tootie.)

That's all I can say for now. The Disney shit show is not cancelled by the way, this is more so something to write in between working on that. See ya's when I see ya.