THE SEVENTEETH TIME
When I've given us both sufficient time to calm down, I walk out of the bathroom in a towel, bracing myself against the wall for support because my head is still swimming.
Edward has taken off his jacket and cleaned up, folded my bra and jeans neatly on the bed. He's sitting at the table and his eyes track me as I walk toward the closet. I hold up one finger and twirl it around; he shuts his eyes and then puts his hands over them for additional assurance.
I know he's just seen me fully nude for the first time, but with what just happened, I figure we need a bit more time before I walk around nude in front of him.
I grab a pair of joggers, a sports bra, and a jacket. It's past midnight, but my muscles are restless and I know I won't be able to sleep for a while. My body is doing the same thing as a week and a half ago, but more so, it seems. Shades of red blur as I look around the room, at Edward sitting motionless like only a vampire can, the lava lamp plugged in, its globs of dark red looking like clotted blood. I swallow thickly; my throat's a bit dry.
At the sound of my zipper, Edward drops his hand. "You want to go for a run at this time?"
"Helps me clear my head." The track will be empty, cold. "Will you be my escort?" Despite my freakish demonstration of strength earlier, I probably shouldn't go running by myself in the dark.
"It'd be my pleasure." He stands and shrugs on his jacket.
We walk in silence for the first few blocks to the track; the streets deserted. A light, chilled breeze whips my hair around my shoulders as I braid back the damp strands.
"I cracked your phone's screen," I finally say to break the silence.
"I know." When I peer over at him, his eyes are trained ahead, troubled.
"I'm sorry."
"Bella," he scolds. "I can afford to replace the screen." He rolls his eyes at me.
"Am I, like," I fiddle with the zipper on my jacket. "Microdosing on your venom?" I finish, whispering it like we are in a confessional.
Edward sighs. "I shouldn't have… bitten you like that."
"I kind of... liked it." I admit sheepishly. It's so much easier to have this conversation in the dark, empty street, the track looming in the distance.
He groans and pinches his nose. Great, he's frustrated with me. I pick up my pace.
"Bella," he calls, following me. "You misunderstand."
We stop at the edge of the track and I start stretching my quads. "Then explain it to me."
"I'm sighing because I kind of liked it too."
My mouth drops open. "What?"
He looks at me, his eyes somehow both disappointed and hyper. He moves closer to me, so close that I notice there's a slight red ring around his black pupil, though the rest of his irises are still honey gold. "I liked it. Far too much. Thought about…" He shakes his head, doesn't finish the sentence. He thought about, what, sex? Changing me? Draining me?
I shouldn't find those things a turn on.
A wide smile stretches across my face even as I flush. I stand on my toes to press my lips softly to his, and then I spin on my heel and take off running.
I forgot my headphones, so the run turns into an intense pondering session. At first, I spend too much time going over what just happened at my apartment. Then I argue with myself, saying I shouldn't push us hanging out more often or - God forbid - him moving in. But it feels kind of nice thinking about sharing my space with him.
I pass him for the fourth time - first mile down. He's sitting still on the bleachers, his hands folded in front of him as his eyes lazily track my movements in the darkness.
As I jog away from him, I think more about the co-dependency we achieved in Forks. The way every moment of every day, I was wondering where he was and what he was doing and if he was thinking of me. I feel differently now - I have classes without him (he literally flirted with the secretary to switch into every class I had, what were we thinking?) and I work part-time; I still meet Aaron for runs in the morning. Chelsea even invited me to a party tomorrow - I mean - tonight, so I'll be out and about with humans. I promised Renee, Charlie, Seth, and most importantly, myself, that I wouldn't get tied up in him that way again.
I begin focusing on breath work, breathing in through my nose and out slowly through my mouth. I focus on the way my feet feel as they hit the pavement, the strange sensation of my muscles expanding and contracting with my movements, the unfocused, hazy sensation of the world around me, the feel of the cold wind against my cheeks and ears.
After I complete the three miles I set out to do, I jog up to Edward. He informs me that mile time is three minutes shorter than my usual per mile. My breathing is calm and my heart rate steady, not pounding like it usually is at this point.
"I think we should talk to Carlisle about this." His voice is measured, sure. But he's still giving me permission to say no.
I start my cooldown stretches. "Why?" It's a genuine question. I honestly feel really fucking great right now, albeit a bit like I'm hyped up on too much caffeine or… acid or something.
Edward shoves his hands in his pockets as I bend at the waist to stretch my hamstrings.
"Clearly, my venom is affecting you. You're faster, your movements more sure and confident out there. I also take it you won't be sleeping tonight." He cocks a brow at me. "I want to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming you."
I shrug, moving into a lunge. "We can talk to him if it'll help put your mind at ease."
He turns away from me, looks out to the woods. "I'd appreciate that. There's also the issue of Alice coming…"
"I assume she wants to apologize?" I sit to move into butterfly pose, leaning forward over my legs and resting my overheated forehead against the cool asphalt.
He clears his throat. "…yes. I assume so," he offers. "I haven't been talking to her."
I glance up at him to see his brow is furrowed. My hackles raise. "What's up?"
"Nothing." He shrugs, his voice insistent, his answer too quick. Something feels fishy.
"You've got that look on your face." I move to a standing position.
"What look?" He queries.
"You get this pinched look when something is bothering you." I fold my arms across my chest.
He shrugs again. "You're just…" He struggles to find the word. "Bendy."
I burst out laughing at the fact that Edward Cullen just used the term bendy.
"Are you turned on right now?" I chide.
He scoffs and looks off into the distance. "It doesn't take much these days," he quietly notes.
The frigid night air crackles between us. My breath turns into puffs in front of us, like little bits of clouds from the heavens. We stand there for a few moments, listening to the wind through the trees and the creaking of the gate. The wind plays with his hair.
"Walk me home?" I finally ask as a shiver traverses down my spine.
"Always," he promises and lends me his arm.
