Chapter 13: One step forward

Pigwidgeon collapsed into the sand right between them as Hermione gasped and took the bird in her hands.

"He's exhausted!" she cried.

"Let's get him inside, he probably needs water," Harry answered and urged her towards the cabin. Before following, Harry scooped up the beach scarf along with Hermione's wand and jogged after her.

Hermione set the bird down on the dining table and hurried towards the counter where she picked out the smallest bowl she could find. She placed the bowl on the table while Harry flicked his wand, "Aguamenti" he whispered as water started filling the bowl.

Hermione picked up the little bird and lowered him just above the water. Pig pushed his beak into the bowl and started drinking.

Hermione gasped in relief as the bird stood on its own now, still drinking.

Harry smiled as he brushed the little owl's feathers, "had a long journey, I see."

Hermione's face shot daggers at him, "Harry, do you realise how serious this is? Pigwidgeon could have died!"

Harry's smile faded, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry at you, Harry. I'm angry at that dense git!" she spat, fire-raising in her eyes as she focused on the enveloped letter on the table, "this better be good!" she opened the envelope and slipped out the single page of messy writing.

Harry watched as Hermione's eyes filled with fury after every sentence she finished. She threw the letter back down on the table and sighed in disbelief, "I honestly don't understand…" she began.

"Hermione—"

"He sent this poor creature ten thousand miles across the planet just to say hello! How can anyone be that thick?" she shrieked.

Harry was used to Hermione getting angry at Ron, but this was different. He never saw her this enraged.

"Hermione—"

"I bet he doesn't even know what he did…" she paced, "I bet you he's just sitting right now, waiting patiently for a response while Pig almost died because of him!" she looked down at the little bird who was now passed out on the table, "poor little thing…" she whispered.

Harry took Ron's letter in his hand and began to read, "Oh wow, Kingsley is going to be the new minister!" he informed.

Hermione turned her gaze to Harry. She read the letter twice, but the message didn't really settle in her head from all the anger she felt, "I think he's the best choice they could have made." She answered.

Harry was glad to change the subject; maybe it will calm her down…

"Well, yeah. But Hermione, Kingsley is a member of the order… do you know how good that is?"

"It's amazing… but it was already expected to happen. Kingsley disappeared right after the war ended, he was already high in the ranks when Fudge was minister. I knew it was only a matter of time." She explained.

Harry nodded in agreement and set the letter down, "Where should we keep him?" he gazed at the bird.

Hermione shrugged, "Well we don't have a cage, so we'll just need to let him be. He's might be quite crazy, but he's a very well trained bird. I don't think he'll be an issue. We'll just keep a window open for him at night." She said.

"Should be fine…" Harry muttered and looked down. The last ten minutes have finally returned to his head, as he remembered Hermione's face right against his. Their eyes mirroring each other, their lips closing in. He could still smell the scent of her hair, it was hypnotizing him.

They stood in silence for a while when Hermione looked up, "I'm gonna go… change." She cleared her throat and paced towards the hallway.

"Yes… good idea," Harry answered as he followed her.

They arrived at their doors and looked back at each other.

Hermione gave an awkward smile as she looked down at his hand which was clutching onto her beach scarf and wand.

Harry's eyes shot into focus as he quickly handed Hermione her things.

"Thank you for picking them up…" she said.

"Don't mention it," he gave a weak smile and turned to his door.

"I guess… I'll see you in a few minutes then." Hermione said and pulled the door handle.

"Yeah, I'll be in the kitchen." He said and entered his bedroom, almost slamming the door.

Hermione leaned against her door and slowly slid down until she was sitting on the floor. She clutched her wand and pointed at the door "Silencio", she whispered as she covered her hands with the beach scarf and allowed for tears to finally leaver her.

Hermione was broken. She didn't know what to think and no longer knew what to feel. Anger was still bursting through her veins, but it was now getting replaced with sadness and remorse. She kissed Harry…

You ALMOST kissed Harry, She fought with herself.

It doesn't matter… if Pig came a second later, I would have kissed him anyway.

But I didn't.

But I wanted to!

I did?

Of course, I did! It felt so amazing! My heart was beating so fast when his lip touched mine… it was like an electric current. My entire body shivered!

I liked kissing him?

Yes! It was wonderful! I've wanted to do it ever since I was thirteen!

But I promised to shut to those feelings away!

I don't care anymore! If not for Ron and his letter, I might've still been snogging with him! Ron… oh my god… I cheated on Ron!

I did not!

I kissed Harry! That's cheating!

I didn't kiss him, I almost did. That's a big difference.

It doesn't matter because I wanted to kiss him!

"No," She whispered and shook her head.

He doesn't love me. We both got lost in the moment and kissed. I'm with Ron and he will probably get back with Ginny the moment we're back. It was just a mistake… we talked and then we kissed… barely… I'm sure he would agree!

What about all those things he said to me? The way he was looking at me… the way I was looking at him…

Do I love him? Yes, I've always loved him. He's my best friend… my soulmate.

Do I love Ron? Of course, I do. He's funny and sweet. He can drive me up the wall sometimes… but I still love him.

But do I love him in that way? In the way I should love no one else…

I don't know. We've only been together for a while… and things haven't exactly been perfect.

And with Harry?

Harry is amazing. The way he makes me feel, the way he cheers me up, the way he makes me laugh so easily… almost too easily.

Hermione shook her head again in protest.

He's just a really good friend. I've known him for so long… he's been through so much…

What about the jealousy? What about Cho and Ginny? The things I felt when I saw Harry kiss Ginny…

Those feelings are gone! I learned that the hard way! I'm not letting them back in. I'm not Harry's type, I'm nothing like the girls he dated. He just sees me as a friend and that's it! I'm just Hermione to him. Insufferable know-it-all, ugly and boring Hermione. What happened there was just a heated moment, nothing else. If he loved me, he would have told me long ago.

What did I feel when we kissed?

Excitement… adrenaline… lust… arousal?

That's more than just 'best friend' love!

No, it isn't!

Maybe I should give it time? I need to hear what Harry thinks… I need to know what he wants… That's right! I'll just speak with him. That's what I've always done. I'll speak with Harry and if he feels the same… we can work things out.

And what if he doesn't?

I'll just be his friend and… I'll be happy with Ron.


Harry was resting his forehead against the door, trying to listen closely to what might be taking place next door. His head was a right mess.

You idiot… congratulations, now she'll never speak to me again.

She didn't exactly try to stop though, did she?

It doesn't matter. She's with Ron and she loves him. How could I do that to her?

Hermione is the brightest witch of her age… if she didn't want to kiss too, she wouldn't have.

I couldn't stop myself! She looked so beautiful! She's always been special to me… and being alone with her for so long, without anyone to distract us, I just couldn't help it…

I did the right thing! Now she knows how I feel… maybe we could work something out?

Of course we can! If she feels the same way, she will want to talk about it. Then we'll see what happens…

And if she doesn't?

I'll just be her friend. It's the next best thing. Being Hermione's friend. So close yet so far…

Harry paced to his wardrobe and changed into new clothes. He made his way to the kitchen and to his surprise, Hermione was already there.

"Hey…" Harry gave an awkward smile.

Hermione looked up and waved to him.

Harry sat down at the table opposite her and looked down at the sleeping owl in between them.

"Harry, we need to talk about…" she took a deep breath, "about what happened…"

Harry nodded in agreement, the pressure in his torso rising again.

"Do you want to say something?" she asked.

Harry shook his head, "You look like you want to share your thoughts… go ahead." He smiled.

"I think we both got a little carried away…" she began.

Harry's chest froze. He gazed at her, a sharp pain striking his throat, "We did?" he cleared his throat and nodded, "I mean, yes… I think you're right… we were talking and then…"

"Things got a bit heated… and we just got a little carried away, right?"

"Right." He finished.

"Harry… this isn't going to change anything between us, right?" she pleaded.

Harry nodded, "Of course not. Hermione, we're best friends! I think you're absolutely right. We just went a little overboard… but we stopped before anything serious happened." I want to die, he thought.

"Yes! I'm happy we agree on this… So, we're good?" she asked.

Harry nodded and smiled, "Of course! Let's just pretend it never took place." I hate myself!

"That's a good idea… nothing really happened anyway, so I don't think it should be a problem." Kill me! She screamed to herself.

They both stared at Pigwidgeon until Harry got up, "I'm gonna go walk the beach, it's really nice at night." He told her and made his way to the door.

"Okay, but please be careful, alright?" she called.

"Always am." He answered and walked out.

Hermione sagged on the chair and sighed, "Well, Pig… looks like it's sorted." She muttered as a tear rolled down her cheek.


Harry was charging through the sand, kicking it as he paced across the beach. His heart was hammering in his chest, his eyes were stinging and everything seemed pointless.

"Nothing really happened anyway" Hermione's voice echoed in his head.

She doesn't love me… she never did… and I was an idiot to follow my feelings.

But I love her…

Do I really?

Of course I do. I have loved her ever since that damn night at the tent. I realised it as we danced. I figured it all out in my stupid head… she means more to me than anyone else… I would give my life for her… she's the one who always pushed me away from trouble… she even risked our friendship to keep me safe… she cares about me and I cared about her… no one understands me like she does… add that to the recent feelings which have erupted… and there you have it. Blatant and obvious love.

It doesn't matter. She doesn't love me back… she loves Ron. I missed my chance during all those years at Hogwarts. It's too late now.

He sighed in defeat as tears burst from his eyes. He fell to the sand and stared into the dark ocean, moonlight was illuminating a silver path across the waves.

He thought for a long while about Hermione; about his feelings towards her.

Finally, he decided to a conclusion; he will have to tell Hermione his true feelings, right now. It was the only way he could keep his peace, no matter what she felt towards him.

Harry stood up started to pace back towards the cabin, determined.


Hermione was crushed. She had just lied… like a coward. She hid away her true feelings once again. This was her chance to admit what she felt… and her fear got the better of her once again. But that wasn't the worst part.

Harry agreed with me. He believes it was just a mistake… a heated moment. He wants to pretend it never happened!

All her hope was shattered. This was the end.

Is it? I can still tell him what I feel… It's just Harry, my best friend… my soulmate… who else can I share my feelings with if not with him?

Yes! I'm going to tell him everything! I don't care anymore… I need him to know the truth… I don't want to hide it anymore. I love Harry Potter, and I want him to know!

She stood up from the table and made her way to the cabin door when Harry stepped through it, a nervous look on his face.

"Hermione! I have to talk to you!" He gasped, taking hold of her shoulders.

"Me too, Harry! I need you to know—"

Her voice faded to the sound of a phone ringing. Hermione spun around to the source of the ringtone and paced to the counter where the cabin's telephone rested. She picked it up and raised it to her ear,

"Hello?"

Harry watched her as she gazed into empty space, with a horrified look on her face. She placed the phone back on the counter and turned to Harry with a pale stare, "Dad collapsed in the living room… he's unconscious…" she muttered.

The information pierced Harry's ears like a loud noise. He rushed to Hermione's side and took hold of her arm as they apparated straight to the Grangers.


Not the longest of chapters, I know. I promise to make the next one longer : )