Chapter 16: Reconciliation
So angry
The feeling of betrayal
Suffocating my senses
A thousand attempts…
-Jazmin Hall
"You're being hysterical right now!" Ron yelled
"Well, I'm sorry that I was trying to reason with you!" Argued Hermione.
Ginny didn't feel like coming back to the living room. But she knew it was the only way to get upstairs. She tried to glide through the room unnoticed when she met Hermione's eyes.
"Ginny, what's wrong?" she asked, pausing her argument with Ron.
"Nothing, I'm fine." She gave her a reassuring smile.
Hermione was puzzled for a second, as she bit her lip, "Where's Harry?"
"He apparated back to Grimmauld Place. He wanted me to bid both of you goodnight."
This made Hermione frown, "why would he leave and not tell us?" she asked herself out loud.
Ron sighed at her words, "I bet you wouldn't give a damn if it was me." He muttered.
This made both girls turn to face Ron.
"What are you on about?" asked Hermione, glaring at him.
"You're always going on about Harry. Always." He answered.
Ginny was certain a second (worse) argument was coming, and she did not want to be part of it. She removed herself from the room and hurried upstairs.
Hermione was still glaring at Ron, "I don't understand what you're trying to say, Ron."
"It's been this way ever since I can remember. No matter if we're at Hogwarts, hunting for Horcruxes, or enjoying the summer holiday… you will always be talking and asking about Harry." He almost whispered, but Hermione could hear the fury in his voice.
"Ron—" she was cut off,
"You know, I thought that once the war would be over, you would lay off him and start focusing on us… I thought you would finally start to notice me a little more. But even when we're together, you still pay more attention to Harry!
"I don't understand, Hermione. You keep saying you're just best friends… but how come you're always putting him in front. No matter the circumstances, it's always been about Harry, always about him."
Hermione didn't know what to say. She wanted to prove Ron wrong, she wanted to disagree. But she couldn't… because it was true.
"He's my best friend." She whimpered.
"And I'm your boyfriend!" he protested, "I don't know much about relationships, but as far as I know… I'm supposed to be the one you care so much about. But it's always him! As soon as he leaves the room, you seem to be out of place, waiting for him to come back… it's like you leave with him or something."
Hermione stood there, staring into his eyes. She knew this Ron all too well; It's the same Ron she faced in her fourth year when Harry's name erupted from the goblet of fire, It was the same Ron she faced in the tent on that horrible night when he left them all alone.
"Ron… I…" she couldn't speak, and even if she could, she didn't know what to say. It was as if Ron has just successfully seen her darkest secrets. He was naming the things she tried to hide. He was exploring the feelings she was trying to escape from.
"What, Hermione? What is it?" He urged, almost desperate for an answer.
"You're important to me… I care about you just like I care about Harry." She managed.
Ron stared at her for a while, as if fishing up even more forbidden thoughts, "I don't understand… all of this… everything that happened between us… the tent… the chamber of secrets… does that mean nothing?" he asked.
"Of course it does!" she cried.
"So why can't we just be together? What's the problem, Hermione?" He yelled. "Why do you tense when I kiss you? Why do you distance yourself when I try to get closer?" He pushed her further with questions she didn't have the courage to answer.
"Because I love him!" her mind screamed, and this time, so did her mouth.
Ron's face went blank. He stared into her eyes for a brief moment before stepping back, "Australia… you… did Harry… you didn't…" he began.
Hermione's eyes widened as she realised what she said.
"You cheated on me, didn't you?" he whispered.
Hermione stepped up to him, trying to reach for his hands, "Ron, no! It's not what you think! I promise it isn't!" she cried.
"What is it then?" He asked, hopelessly.
"You have to believe me, Ron! I didn't mean for any of it to happen! It was just a mistake!" It wasn't! She screamed to herself.
He was staring at her with a pale face, "You… you…"
"We kissed. Nothing more, Ron." She confessed. Suddenly the weight on her shoulders pulled back. The feeling of pressure in her chest loosened. She felt free, free of lies and secrets. Ron knew… he knew the truth.
"Only kissed? … You only kissed?" he almost smiled in disbelief, "Thank you, Hermione. Thank you for not screwing my best friend!" he roared.
Hermione almost jumped from the unexpected explosion in his voice. Ron was clutching his fists so hard they were almost white from the pressure. He turned towards the kitchen and made his way to the door, "Speaking of my best friend…" he muttered.
Hermione launched after him, but something was holding her back. She looked down to see a pair of hands on her stomach. She turned to see Ginny at her side, "Let him go, Hermione." She informed.
Hermione almost collapsed at the realisation; Ginny heard the whole thing.
"Ginny, they're going to kill each other!" she cried, trying to escape her grip.
Ginny held harder to her sides, "Hermione, you know as much as I do that Harry won't let Ron get close."
Hermione stopped struggling at her words and turned to face her, "Did you hear everything?"
Ginny gave a weak smile, "most of it. I'm not mad at you… in fact, I want to talk to you. I think it's best we finally allow Ron and Harry to settle this just between them. They need to talk, Hermione. So do we." She explained.
Hermione puzzled on her words for a while, before nodding and sitting back down on the sofa. She couldn't help but worry. Last time Harry argued with Ron, it turned ugly very fast. She couldn't help but shake at the fact of something worse happening this time.
"Hermione, they'll be fine. I'm sure of it!" Ginny assured.
"I hope you're right."
Harry was standing by the fire in his living room once again. He found out quite quickly that he didn't light the fireplace up for warmth, but for the comfortable look which it reflected upon the room. The dark walls managed to look warm and staring at the orange flames reminded him of one of his favourite places; the Gryffindor Common Room.
He took a glance around the room and sighed. So, this is what being completely alone felt like. For the first time in his life, Harry was depressed. Having that talk with Ginny wasn't something he expected to do today, but he hated the idea of making her wait for him to be ready to get back together. Because the truth was that Harry didn't know if he would ever want to get together with anyone; not after what happened in Australia. There was was only one person in the world who he so desperately wanted to speak with. But that person has already been taken.
Harry felt many things in that moment, but he mostly felt regret. If he gathered the courage to speak with Hermione when his feelings first showed up, maybe she would be at his side right now. Maybe that would also be the case if he told her what he felt last night, but he could never know for sure. He already settled on one matter; at least she was still his friend… best friend… soulmate.
He was about to call for Kreacher to bring last night's bottle of Firewhisky when he heard the front door open. He paced towards the hallway and saw Ron staring right at him, his fists clenched together.
"Ron… what are you doing here, mate?" he asked, "everything alright?"
His visitor stared at him for a while, a shadow was covering half of his face. Harry didn't need to have the best eyesight to make out Ron's furious expression as he started to pace towards him.
He was halfway down the hall and Ron started to move towards him at his own pace. They met right in the centre of the corridor when Ron's fist slammed right into Harry's left cheek, knocking him to the floor.
"How could you?" came a vicious voice as Harry opened his eyes to see Ron crouched over him, his right fist aiming for Harry's face.
Harry's reflex and instinct seemed to have worked without consent, as he slipped his free hand into his pocket and pulled out his wand.
"Repello!" Harry roared as a flash of silver erupted between them and Ron went flying across the hall. His body collided with the floor a second later with a loud bang. Harry tried to get up, but couldn't as his head fell back onto the floor; he passed out.
Hermione was trying to control her shaking hands but in vain. Ginny glanced at them and knew she was probably terrified, so she did the only thing she could do at that moment, and she took Hermione's hands in hers.
Hermione tensed up at her touch before giving a weak smile, "thank you" she whispered.
Ginny shuffled closer to Hermione. She might be jealous, but Hermione was still one of her closest friends, and she had to speak with her.
"Hermione… I wanted to talk about Harry." She began.
Hermione's gaze fell, "I'm sorry, Ginny… I'm so, so sorry."
Ginny squeezed Hermione's hand which made her look up into her eyes, "you don't have to be… in fact, I wanted to apologise to you." Ginny informed.
Hermione stared at her in shock for a brief moment, "for what?"
Ginny sighed, "for being a bitch."
"What are you talking about?"
Ginny smiled, "Hermione… I think it's time we both admit something to each other."
Hermione didn't answer, she just kept looking at Ginny, shock not leaving her face just yet.
"We both fancied Harry at one point or another." She added.
Fancied? What a ridiculous word… I love him! Hermione told herself.
"Am I right?" Ginny asked.
Hermione nodded. It was all she could manage at that moment.
"From what I heard… those feelings have returned to you, haven't they?"
Hermione nodded again, slower this time, ashamed of what she was admitting.
"You see, Hermione. That's why I wanted to apologise to you." Ginny cried,
Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, "For what, exactly?"
"For this!" Ginny pointed at Hermione, "Because you look like you just admitted that you killed my puppy or something!"
Hermione was confused, she simply allowed for Ginny to carry on…
"Ever since I came to you and told you my feelings in our fifth year… You gave me advice on how to talk with Harry. You're the one who instructed me on what I should do! And look… I was dating him the very next year!" she explained.
Hermione gave a weak smile, "I'm pretty good at advice, aren't I?"
"But there was always something at the back of my head whenever we spoke… it was the way you spoke about Harry… you spoke about him with such respect and appreciation. I think back then, I liked him too much to pay too much notice… but I realised it very recently. There was always something between you two. I realised it the day before you left for Australia at dinner.
"When I was in my room… I finally understood everything. You have fancied Harry for just as long as I have. Yet, you never tried to approach him… you never tried to ask him out, and I couldn't help but wonder why." Ginny looked puzzled.
Hermione sighed, "I just wanted him to be Happy. Merlin knows he deserves much more."
Ginny smiled, "Exactly. Don't you see it, Hermione? You're willing to put your own feelings behind Harry's happiness. If that doesn't make you worthy of him, then I don't know what does. That day, in my room… I finally realised that I just want him to be happy too. And it was clear to me, that you're the one who makes him happy."
Hermione looked up at Ginny, trying to control her tears.
"Whenever he's around you… it's like he's a completely different person. He's always smiling and joking around. It's almost as if the war never took place. I want that for him. And if he can have that when he's with you… then I want you to be with him." She finished.
Hermione was dumbstruck. She could hardly believe her ears. Is this a dream? She asked herself.
"Ginny… I… I don't know what to say…" her voice faded.
Ginny smiled at her, "You don't have to say anything… just promise me one thing."
"What is it?" Hermione asked.
"Make him the happiest man alive." Ginny laughed.
The two girls looked at each other for a while, before falling into a tight embrace.
Harry sat up to see Ron struggling to get up too. He was still trying to snap awake after getting knocked out.
Harry slowly got to his feet as Ron struggled on his own, "not gonna fight me like a man, will you?" Ron smirked, clutching his shoulder.
"I don't want to fight you, Ron." Harry answered and touched his mouth to see his bloody fingers; Ron hit him hard, "Now could you please explain why you did that?"
Ron gave a cold laugh, "You dare ask?"
Harry's eyes widened as the look in Ron's eyes seemed to have already told him everything.
"Hermione…" Harry whispered, "Ron… I'm sorry."
Ron laughed again, "You're sorry… why thank you. I guess that clears up everything. I guess I'll be on my way then, since you apologised." He mocked, "I guess it's better than what she said, anyway… please, Ron! It's not what you think!" He teased, "at least you have the guts to admit to it."
"We didn't intend for it, Ron," Harry answered, finally feeling the effects of Ron's fist on his face.
"How could you?" Ron asked, hurt taking over his anger, "I trusted you both… but you just decided to ignore that, didn't you?"
Harry sighed and got up to his feet, "To be completely honest… you didn't even cross my mind when I kissed her. At that moment… all that mattered to me, was her."
This seemed to have stirred a fire in Ron's eyes as he stood up, trying to maintain his balance. He reached for his wand and pulled it out on Harry, "You think, it's fine, do you?"
Harry slowly lifted his wand towards Ron, "You really want to do this?"
Ron looked reluctant for a while, but pressed on, "It looks like the only way to sort this out."
"And what will happen next, hmm?" Harry asked.
Ron shrugged, "I'll just be happy to finally have at you for all those years…"
This angered Harry, "All those years? What, you mean like that time when you didn't believe me when I said I didn't put my name in the goblet?"
Ron looked thrown at the sudden reminder of their fourth year, "Really? You're going to throw that one at me?"
"You were my best friend, Ron… and you didn't believe me. I needed you to believe me, but you didn't listen to reason. You only thought about yourself." Harry began.
"I apologised for that! A long time ago!" Ron countered.
"Everyone in the school thought I was a liar! Everyone! But I didn't care because I knew that at least two of my best friends would have my back… well, turns out it was just one friend…
He lowered his wand.
"It was just Hermione… the only person who didn't need anything but my word. The moment I told her… she believed me, even more… she supported me… helped me get ready for the tournament. She was the only one… even Dumbledore questioned me. But she didn't have to, she believed from the start till the very end when the truth was revealed. And I think… somewhere along those months… I fell in love
"I didn't plan for… hell, I didn't even know it was love that I felt until a couple days ago when I finally realised."
Ron was stunned. He was not expecting any of this to be said. He was hoping for a fight; he was ready to be on his way to St Mungo's by now… but instead, everything was being explained to him.
"Go on… say it." Harry muttered.
"Say what?" Ron asked.
"Say you don't believe me. Say that I'm just saying all this to have an excuse for kissing her." He began.
A full minute passed in the corridor before Ron spoke, "I believe you."
Harry looked up at him, "You do?"
Ron lowered his wand and sighed, "Yeah. I've known it for quite some time. I knew my suspicions weren't always false."
"Ron… nothing happened between us in the tent…" Harry began.
"I know... It was only Australia, right?"
Harry nodded, resting himself against the wall, "I'm sorry, Ron. I really am. It's all my fault. Don't blame Hermione for it."
Ron slipped his wand back into his pocket and moved towards Harry, slowly. He placed his hand on Harry's shoulder and looked at him, "I'm sorry for hitting you."
Harry smiled, "You better be, you bastard. It hurts like hell."
They both laughed.
"Come on… let's go to the kitchen. I have some Firewhisky."
No way!" Ron gasped.
Harry shrugged, "It's true."
"You mean to tell me… that you almost asked Hermione out to the Yule Ball?" Ron asked.
Harry nodded, "We never said it to anyone… but Hermione taught me how to dance." He explained.
Ron frowned, "Hey… how come you never invited me?"
Harry chuckled, "Because you didn't actually have to dance… I did."
Ron laughed, "Fair enough, I guess."
"It was going to be our last dance session, and I was actually getting pretty good… I wanted to do it in that moment, but then I thought of you." Harry confessed.
"What?"
"I knew you wanted to ask her out. There were moments when I spotted you looking at her… and I knew you would ask her soon enough. I was also worried it would destroy our friendship which was already on the brink… so I never did. Then Cho came up at some point… then Ginny… and now… I'm all alone." His smiled faded as he raised his glass of whisky and downed it in one go, "Second day in a row… I think I'm becoming an alcoholic" he chuckled.
Ron patted him on the arm, "Harry, mate. You know that's not true."
"What's that?"
Ron cleared his throat, "You're not alone. You never will be."
Harry smiled, "Thank, mate."
"You know… for all it's worth… I just want you to know that no matter what happens after this... I'll still be your best mate. Same goes for Hermione."
That was enough for Harry to understand what Ron meant by those words. He patted his friend on the back, "Thank you. You know… I'll never understand what I did to deserve being your best friend."
Ron smiled and took another gulp of whisky, "I don't either."
They both laughed until Harry turned to Ron again, holding out his hand, "You were always like a brother to me, Ron. And you always will be."
Ron took Harry's hand a shook it, "Same here, mate."
"As for Hermione… I don't really know where all of this is going to go… the day we left Australia… she told me that we got carried away. I don't know if she really meant it. But I didn't make it any better."
Ron gave him a reassuring smile, "I'm not about to give you advice on how to get together with my ex." He chuckled, "I'm still trying to fully accept it, so if you could be so kind and not snog right in front of me… let's say I would be less inclined to punch you again."
"But mate… I don't even know if she'll—" He was cut off by Ron.
"Save it, Harry. We both know that this whole thing is just a big mess. I'm sure whatever has to be figured out will be. You have all the time in the world now. Do whatever you must. Meanwhile… I'll just try to stay out of your way. Hermione feels like shit right now and it's because of me.
"I don't know if I'm ready to face her again. I'm definitely not ready to see you two together. I think I'll just take some time off from the joke shop and travel somewhere."
Harry looked at Ron, almost shocked, "Where will you go?"
Ron shrugged, "I was thinking of Romania. Wouldn't mind giving Charlie a visit… I just want to get out of here and enjoy myself a bit. I need to think and it will also give you time with Hermione to sort out your own issues. Just please, Harry… don't hurt her, alright?"
Harry smiled, "If I ever do… I promise you can hex me."
Ron laughed and stood up, making his way to the door.
"Hey, Ron."
The redhead turned to face him one more time, "Thank you."
Ron smiled and made his way out.
"I'll send you postcards!"
The moment Ron apparated back to the Burrow, Hermione was already pacing through the field, Ginny right behind her.
"Ron! Please, Ron! What happened?" She cried.
Ron smiled at her, then at Ginny, "Everything is fine. Harry is at Grimmauld Place… we talked and explained everything to each other." He sighed and turned to Hermione, "I forgive you for what happened, and I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. I think you should go talk to Harry. He needs to talk with you." Ron frowned at his words then started pacing to the Burrow.
He was stopped when Hermione threw her arms around his neck, "Thank you" she whispered to him, then pulled away. She smiled at Ginny and apparated.
Ginny turned to her brother, "Is he really okay?"
Ron smiled, "We both got a good beating from each other… but we sorted everything out."
Ginny smiled back, "I'm glad to hear that."
"Are you okay, Ginny?" Ron asked.
Ginny hugged her brother, "Better than I have been in a while."
Ron was puzzled at her words, but decided not to question as he slowly paced back to the house, "could you help me pack?" he asked.
"Why?" Ginny asked.
Ron smiled, "I think it's time I have a little vacation of my own… that's after I tell mum, of course."
I know it was a little bit too sweet and both Ginny and Ron seemed too forgiving… but I felt this warm fuzzy feeling when I wrote the scenes. I think forgiveness is a really big part of true friendship : )
