Chapter Six:

Hal Monitor's Road Rage Chase


'...don't think of running. If you do, and you don't do as I say, I will be sending a special friend to hunt you down.'

Even as he thought about what SMG4 had said to him, OnyxKing67 did not give a flying F in the slightest. He would do anything, and EVERYTHING possible to ensure that the legal crap was brought to an end. And, if he was going to leave town to meet with someone who could help, then OnyxKing67 was going to risk the likes of someone coming after him.

At least Mario was on his side, where would a dude like OK67 be without the legendary fat Italian hero plumber of Nintendo, and why would he ditch the YouTuber AFTER everything they'd been through together?

Without Mario, Zelus would still be wreaking havoc on the Mushroom Kingdom, or she could have remained in the computer, and still made OK67, and SMG4's lives complete heck.

OnyxKing67 and the plumber ensured that those two meme guardian hobos were absolutely incapacitated, then they departed YouTube HQ, and got in the car again. OnyxKing started up the engines, and drove away from the building. He hit the gas hard, and sped through Mushroom City like a complete lunatic, regardless if the cops came after him.

"Hey, OK67, let's-a play some music!" Mario suggested.

"Oh sure…" OnyxKing quipped sarcastically, "That'll put me in a good mood. Just don't even think about playing SMG4 music, I bet the guy had some detector installed in the car without my knowledge, and any attempt to play any of his music on my radio will land us in deep shit!"

Mario turned on the radio, and a recognizable rap song started to play over the radio-waves; 'Reese's Puffs.' OnyxKing rolled his eyes, and begrudgingly allowed the song to play as he and Mario drove through the city streets, and approached the city exit. Hopefully, the 'road trip' that the pudgy "Italian" duo were embarking on would be a smooth one. It had to go smoothly. Right?

Perhaps, but fate always had wild surprises in store for brave, and adventurous people, just waiting to crop up at the most unexpected time imaginable. And little did OnyxKing and Mario know that a police car was sitting in a street corner just a few blocks from the city exit.

And, seated in the car, hand on the wheel, was a uniformed officer with a computer for a head; Mister Hal Monitor, the ruthless Robocop law enforcer.

Just as the duo made their way through the city limits, driving away from the districts of Mushroom City, Hal Monitor's monitor blinked as a beeping sound filled the interior of his car. The officer looked at his GPS screen, and saw the dot representing OnyxKing driving out of Mushroom City. Just then, he heard a buzzing, and picked up his phone.

'Get that ass.' Lawyer SMG4 texted.

"You got it, chief." Hal Monitor buzzed, he flipped the switch, and the unmistakable red-blue police lights on the car roof activated. The robotic officer hit the gas, and drove onto the street with his siren wailing at full blast.

Hal Monitor's face flashed his nightmare-invoking angry expression, and he primed his gun. It was time to bring a lawbreaker to justice. The cop's foot slammed on the pedal, and the car's wheels spun madly as Mr. Monitor gave chase after OnyxKing. He would do whatever it took to catch that YouTuber, even if someone else got hurt in the process.

Up ahead, OK67 was whistling as he maintained his grip on the wheel, surveying the lush countryside that he and Mario were driving through. So far, things weren't looking too bad, perhaps SMG4 had been bluffing about sending someone to hunt him down.

WEW-WEW-WEW-WEW-WEW-WEW-WEW! The Mario-Tuber heard the sound of sirens, and inspected the rear view mirror, and his heart pounded as he caught a glimpse of a police car following them. And, if he didn't know any better, that cop car was rolling their way fast. The car seemed to get closer by the second, and OnyxKing caught a glimpse of the cop in the driver's seat.

"SWEET BABY GOD!" The Machinist exclaimed, "WE GOT A RUTHLESS ROBOCOP ON OUR TAIL!"

"Mama mia!" Mario exclaimed, "SMG4 sent Hal Monitor after us?!"

And seconds later, the cop car pulled up beside OnyxKing, allowing him to look directly into Hal Monitor's furious eyes. OnyxKing rolled down the window, seeing that the pursuing cop bot had rolled down his window too.

"Well, how do you do, officer?" OnyxKing asked casually, despite the obvious danger, "We were just having a drive through the countryside. Yes, sir, no fugitives on the run from the law."

"OnyxKing67, you have engaged in activities that are ver L." Hal Monitor told the YouTuber, "And you have refused to comply with SMG4's demands to take down the videos that involve SMG4 characters. You will pull over this instant, there will be no resisting the warrant for your arrest."

"Ha!" OnyxKing scoffed, "I hate to say it, Mr. Monitor, but you are one cuckoo crazy cop. And as my bouncing buddy would say; BBFN, Bye-Bye For Now. Oh, and let me add to that… SAYONARA, SUCKER!"

Mario flipped off Hal Monitor, and OnyxKing slammed the gas pedal hard. His engines thrummed madly, and his car took off across the country road. The YouTuber drove so fast, he hit 95 MPH. OnyxKing laughed like a madman, and steered the car around a bend, driving past a pair of Goombas before they could cross the road.

OnyxKing punched the air with one hand on the wheel, and whooped, seeing that Hal's car had vanished from the reflection of the rear view mirror. A mad grin rolled across his face, and OK67 remarked, "Looks like cops can't keep up with cars going at 95."

"Mario loves speeding!" Mario whooped.

"Then, maybe we should do more speeding on our adventures." OnyxKing67 quipped, "After we whoop SMG4's stupid ass, we'll get out some go-karts and do some wacky speeding without getting busted by the damn cops..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE'S ONTO US!" Mario suddenly screamed.

VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM! OnyxKing looked behind him, and an alarm blared in his head when he spotted Hal Monitor gaining on them, just as Mario had pointed out. And, he was so angry, the robotic law enforcer had drawn a gun. OK67 steered the wheel hard, just as a gunshot rang out.

In a matter of seconds, what looked like a simple road trip to go see someone had turned into a full-on car chase, and it was just like in the movies.

OnyxKing braced himself, and Mario ducked his head, as gunfire rang out. Hal Monitor had just swapped out his standard service revolver for a MACHINE GUN, and he was shooting... WHILE DRIVING!

Someone had just gone full gangsta mode while in road rage mode.

Mario suddenly got excited, and started to play with the radio until a gangster song was blaring over the speakers... which appropriately fit the mood since OnyxKing didn't complain about it, even though it was likely because he was focused on driving. And Mario wound up singing along with it;

'Yo, punks. Time to hit the road.

'We got cops comin' in by the fuckin' muthaload.

'Them boys in blue sayin' our rents due.

'However, we ain't goin' down without a fight, and they know too.

'Time to fight smart, let's give the law some shit.

'The cops suck tire wheels, screw the police force, they're takin' a hit.'

Mario passed a Fire Flower to OnyxKing, who absorbed its power, and his overalls flashed red-and-white.

He poked his head out the window at the pursuing Hal Monitor, and chucked a fireball at the car. Hal swerved at the last second, but the explosion of the fireball shook the cop car, and Hal Monitor nearly dropped his gun. The Fire Flower's effects wore off, and OnyxKing kept driving.

'Now's the time to hit the road, oh-oh you know our code.

'We're gonna ride and run from the cops, whoa-oh...

'Guns are drawn, boys in uniforms open fire on our getaways, blam-blam.

'I say now, screw the law, we don't give no damn. Oh-oh.

'Let's hit the road, and be quick, ya don't need to goad. Oh-oh-oh-oooooh.

'Cops comin' by the muthaload, let's make their fuel line blow on the road.'

OnyxKing yelped when he saw Hal Monitor bring out a rocket launcher, and he swerved hard, almost driving off the road as the cop opened fire. The rocket narrowly missed the vehicle, partially scratching the side of the rear view mirror. Mario turned around, and flipped off the robot cop once more, Star Lord-style.

'If they catch us we go to jail, but we goons gonna make 'em fail. Let's hit the rollin' road.

'A cop chase is a pissy situation, let's give 'em a crazy degradation.

'We'll give the uniformed law enforcers the hits, tell 'em we don't give no shits.

'You're an all star gangster, when ya hit the road. Oh-oh. Hit the road hard.

'No one's better than a crook, even when cops give us the book.

'Gangsters hit the road, oh-oh, we're carryin' a big load. Cops are comin' and we're runnin'.

Hal Monitor drove up beside the speeding OnyxKing, who jerked the wheel, and pulled back. And then, he jerked the wheel again. The car slammed into the police carrier, causing Hal Monitor to spin out. Mario whooped with glee, and OnyxKing chuckled, "That'll take a while to iron out, and I can see the look on Hal's face."

Just then, Hal Monitor's somewhat smoking police car came speeding past OnyxKing's car, it drove off the countryside road, did a U-turn on the grass, and drove towards OnyxKing67 and Mario's car at lightning speed. And seconds before impact, OK67 saw the look on Hal Monitor's face;

It was the angriest face that anyone had ever seen.

WHAM! Hal Monitor's car slammed into OK67's ride, causing it to flip into the air, and the fuel lines ruptured. Airbags activated, and OnyxKing67 yelped as he lurched forward in the driver's seat.

Mario howled with surprise. The roof broke off, the seatbelt shattered, and OnyxKing found himself falling out of his car.

The YouTuber tumbled into the pavement, bruising his arm and knee in the process, while his nose got a little bit hurt. A horrible aching sensation tore at his head, and OnyxKing67 rubbed his noggin' with a groan.

He looked up, watching as Hal Monitor approached him with a shotgun in hand. OnyxKing muttered something, and then, he passed out as the robotic cop brought out the handcuffs...