Ch 16: Amputation

Rated K+

Characters: Edward, Paninya, Winry

Timeline: manga

Notes: of course upon seeing this prompt, my mind immediately went to Ed…but then I randomly thought about paninya. I just couldn't get that thought out of my head, and I was like, paninya doesn't get enough love. She deserves to bond with Ed. Voila. Sort of slice-of-life-y friendship stuff. Is it even whump? Idk and idc

This is specifically manga timeline though, because it has to be in order to work. For those who don't know, in the manga, the bridge going to Dominic's shop literally gets destroyed, and that's why they couldn't get Satera to the doctor to have her baby. Dominic says there's another path around the mountain, but you have to go through the next town over to get back to rush valley. Because of this long trip, Winry and the brothers had to stay at Dominic's for a night, since it was late and still raining and whatnot…anyway, that's your context


Winry, Edward, and Paninya were sitting around the dinner table, chatting and drinking some herbal tea. It was now close to midnight, a few hours after the kids had realized they wouldn't be able to make it back to Rush Valley that night. Dominic was still on his round-trip to fetch the doctor, and with the bridge gone, there weren't really any other options for the teens but to stay there. Winry had spent a while trying to sneak a peek at Dominic's automail blueprints, but Ridel spotted her and encouraged her to go socialize. Alphonse was with Satera and the new baby, watching over them with his untiring body. And Edward and Paninya…well, let's just say they wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon.

Thus, the three teenagers were seated around the table with their tea, making small talk. It had started raining again a while ago, making for nice background noise…well, if it weren't for Winry, that is. Winry was blabbing about all the amazing automail she saw in town and in this shop, and Edward was tuning it all out. Paninya found this incredibly amusing, and nearly spat out her tea at one point when Edward made a "just kill me already" gesture.

"And that is why sacrificing some durability for rust resistance is entirely fine!" Winry declared, ending her ten-minute-long rant. "Especially when people like Edward here slack on their maintenance…" She glared at said boy.

"What?!" Ed exclaimed. "You know I'm busy!"

"You know that's not an excuse," Winry retorted.

Paninya laughed, setting down her cup. "Speaking of automail, I've been dying for a nice hot water bottle all day…I think I'm going to go get a couple." She stood, offering a smile toward Ed. "Do you want a pair, too?"

Edward looked entirely surprised by Paninya's words. "Hm?"

"Cause of the storm. My stumps have been achy all day. I bet yours have been, too." Paninya nodded toward Ed's automail hand, wrapped around his teacup.

Ed blinked, suddenly hyper-aware of the dull pulsing sensation in his shoulder and thigh that he'd been ignoring all day. He wasn't used to calling attention to it; Al knew about it and would often encourage Ed to use the supplies Granny had given him, but Ed rarely said anything aloud. He didn't know how to respond to someone speaking so casually about a problem he preferred to keep to himself.

"Oh. I'm alright. Don't worry about it," he replied, waving nonchalantly.

"C'mon, Ed, remember what Granny told you?" Winry put on her best imitation of Pinako. "Don't be so stubborn you deny yourself relief."

"How did you know about that? You weren't there!" Ed pouted.

Winry rolled her eyes. "Duh. She told me after, so I could remind you whenever you inevitably ignored her."

Ed grumbled. "I'm never telling that old woman anything ever again."

Winry giggled, turning her attention to Paninya. "Go ahead and get him some. He wants it, he's just being stubborn."

Paninya laughed. "Roger."

Once she was gone, Edward took a long sip of tea, glaring at Winry. "I could've spoken for myself, y'know."

"But you wouldn't have," Winry replied, glaring back. "I know you, alchemy freak."

"Gearhead."

"Nerd."

"Ditto."

Winry looked thoughtfully at Edward for a moment. "Y'know, it might be nice to talk to Paninya about this stuff. You know me and Al and Grandma are always here for you, but Paninya can understand on a personal level."

"Nobody can understand." Ed crossed his arms, looking down at the table. "She didn't do anything wrong when she lost her legs."

Winry thought for a minute. "Maybe the circumstances were different, but…you're a little unique in that department." She frowned. "The point is, there's someone here who's about the same age as us and can relate to your experiences. It would be nice to talk to her."

"I don't wanna talk about my feelings. I'm not a girl."

"Talking about your feelings isn't a girl thing," Winry snapped. "Maybe girls do it more often but I think boys should learn to follow their lead. Stubborn jerk."

"Whatever." Edward slouched back in his chair, brooding.

The sound of boots approached, Paninya humming softly as she re-entered the dining room. She set an armful of rubber containers on the table, looking at the other occupants—and she frowned. "What happened to you two? I was gone for five minutes."

"It's nothing," Winry said, glancing at Ed (who was avoiding eye contact with her).

"That's what you said earlier…" Paninya raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment further. Instead, she slid two of the water bottles in Ed's direction. "Your brother heated them all up with alchemy. It was pretty neat! I was impressed he got the temperature perfect." Paninya propped her legs up on the table, setting her own bottles at about her mid-thighs. "Mmmm…What were we talking about?"

Neither Edward nor Winry responded, and Paninya frowned a little. Something had definitely happened while she was gone. She looked at the remaining water bottles on the table; Ed hadn't made any move to take them. "Don't you want the bottles, Edward?"

He shrugged slightly. "Maybe in a bit." He glanced at Winry, and Paninya smiled, thinking she'd figured it out.

"You know you don't have to be embarrassed," the dark-haired girl said. "Dominic and Ridel had to drill that into my head, but it's true. Automail is just proof that you survived."

"Yeah," Ed said with a humorless grin. "A situation of my own making."

"Ed…" Winry started.

"S'fine. I'm not embarrassed." He laughed a little, equally as mirthlessly. "Just a little ashamed."

Winry narrowed her eyes. And he said he never talked about his feelings.

Paninya could sense the tension between Winry and Edward, just as she had earlier after the baby was born. She knew the two of them were childhood friends, and that Winry was his mechanic…which meant she had to have known how Edward lost his limbs. If he really had caused it himself somehow…it was probably a bit of a sore spot between them.

But Paninya was a firm believer in letting the past be the past.

"Well, I don't know how you lost your arm and leg, but whatever happened, it's in the past. And I think you're pretty awesome," Paninya said, leaning over to elbow Ed's arm.

Ed scratched the back of his head, expression sheepish. "I dunno. Just another military dog, I'd say."

"Not like any I've ever seen—"

"BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M SHORT?!"

"Wha—no!" Paninya said quickly, while Winry burst out laughing. Edward's face turned as red as his signature coat, realizing he inadvertently called himself short. "Cause you're so young, for one thing," she continued. "But also cause you actually care about people. I heard you fawning over Satera's baby—and you tried so hard to make a bridge for her, too! I think that's pretty awesome."

"Really?" Ed asked, genuinely surprised. "Thanks, I guess."

"You know, for someone so smart," Winry added, sipping her tea, "you're really stupid, Ed."

"Thanks," Ed replied a little less enthusiastically.

"Don't mention it." Winry grabbed the water bottles meant for Ed, shoving them at him. "Now use these, because your mechanic says so."

Ed didn't want to receive a wrench to the skull, so he took the bottles without any further complaint. He propped up his leg like Paninya and shed his leather jacket, positioning the rubber containers at his ports. The temperature was still just right, and Ed couldn't help the small sigh of relief that passed his lips.

"Isn't it nice?" Paninya asked.

"Mm hm," Ed replied, purposefully ignoring Winry's smug smile by finishing off his tea.

Paninya looked thoughtfully at her own cup for a moment. "Y'know, even though I've lived in Rush Valley forever, I've never actually made friends with anyone but Ridel and Satera…Everyone just knows me as the pickpocket girl Dominic made automail for." She looked at Ed and Winry, smiling. "I guess what I mean is, it was really nice meeting you guys. I think it's amazing that someone my age wants to make automail, because as hard as it can be to deal with sometimes, it really saved my life. And Alphonse is so nice and genuine…and Edward, you might act all tough, but you're really so caring and determined…"

An embarrassed blush crept onto both Edward and Winry's faces, but they politely thanked the other teen.

"I just hope I can be as amazing of a mechanic as Dominic someday," Winry said. "I want to give Ed—and everyone else who needs me—the best prosthetics in the world."

"Well I think you're well on your way to that." Paninya grinned again. "Even if you are a little over-zealous…"

Edward snickered and Winry frowned, looking between him and the other girl. "What? What does that mean?"

"What do you think it means, Gearhead? You know I call you that for a reason." Ed laughed.

Winry's blush from the compliments deepened. "I just—I like automail! You've known that since we were in grade school!"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Every time I come home for maintenance or repairs, you look at me like you're about to dissect me."

"Not you! Just…maybe…your automail…" Winry trailed off, realizing her words weren't helping. It was now her turn to sport a complexion the color of Edward's coat. She pursed her lips, sputtering for a reply. "Like—like you're one to talk! You compared the miracle of birth to alchemy earlier! And remember how Grandma got your leg to finally click during rehab? Uh huh, by telling you to compare it to alchemy!"

"Please, at least I don't go up to random strangers and beg to do alchemy on them. How'd we even get to this place? Cause you wanted to 'see' Paninya's automail?"

"You know, he's got you there," Paninya interjected with a wink. "He never woulda caught me if you weren't there."

"That's right—hey!" Ed huffed.

"But," Paninya started before Ed could say anything else, "even if you're a little over-zealous, I still think you're gonna be one of the best engineers ever."

Winry bowed her head slightly, still embarrassed but sincere with her next words. "Well, that really means a lot to me…really. Thank you."

"No problem…" Paninya finished off her tea, stifling a big yawn. "Agh…I'm finally getting tired…I think I've been tired for a while but…not being in pain really helps a lot. Am I right?" She elbowed Ed again.

"Yeah…" Edward replied candidly. "I can sleep just about anywhere, anytime…except when my automail's acting up. It's weird, cause it's not like I've never gotten hurt before. It's just…a different kind of pain." Realizing how much he'd said, his shoulders stiffened slightly. He was just so relaxed, bantering with his peers, he wasn't even thinking when speaking. It took years before he'd even said anything like that to Alphonse. Winry knew, of course, being there with him during the worst of his surgery and rehab—but lucid, healthy Edward never said things like that. Why would he—

"I know what you mean," Paninya said. "I don't remember a whole lot from the train wreck cause I was so young but…I remember waking up in pain. It is a different kind of pain…"

…That was why.

Paninya can understand on a personal level. Edward had scoffed at Winry's words, but—maybe, maybe—she was right. Admittedly, it was kinda nice to hear Paninya say she knew what he meant. He had just gotten so good at ignoring the side effects of being an amputee that he didn't realize how much it would mean to hear someone else share his experiences. He wasn't someone who got knocked down easily, and he would never base a person's worth on how many limbs they had, but…sometimes it was just tough to have automail, and there was no amount of guilt tripping or self-loathing that could change that. He could feel like he deserved it all he wanted, and he could always appreciate and be genuinely grateful for the Rockbells' work, but, deep down, he still missed his real arm and leg. And that was something Paninya understood. It was a different kind of pain because it made them think about what they lost…and it wasn't just limbs.

Paninya may not have understood Ed's guilt over what he did to himself and Alphonse, but she knew what it was like to lose both your family and pieces of yourself in one event. And for what it was worth, Edward really did find some comfort in that.

Stupid Winry…always being right…

"I think I'm gonna hit the hay," Edward said.

"Yeah, me too," Paninya said. "What about you, Winry?"

"I'm not quite tired yet…late nights don't bother me," the blonde replied. "But I'm sure I'll sleep soon. G'night guys."

"Night," Paninya said, gathering up the empty teacups and taking them to the kitchen. "Oh, and you can keep those water bottles overnight, Edward," she said as she left.

Edward stood and stretched his arms over his head, pleased with the lightened ache in his shoulder. Winry smiled at him, and he glared in response. "Don't even say it. You were right and I was wrong."

"What was that, I didn't quite hear?" Winry fluttered her eyes innocently.

"Yes you did, and I'm not saying it again." Ed picked up the still-warm bottles, starting off toward the patient ward (where all the spare beds were).

"Tell Al I said goodnight," she called after him.

"Mm-hm." With that, Ed disappeared around the corner.

Winry sat back in her chair, sighing contentedly. He still had a ways to go, but he was getting there.


So about a month ago I sprained my right knee pretty bad while snowboarding, and it still hasn't totally healed. There was this one night where I was lying in bed and it was just throbbing nonstop, kinda reminiscent of growing pains. And I was just like, "okay,,,can we go to sleep now?" And it was like "no. You should've worn your brace when you were at work. You did this." And I was like "yeah yeah, I know. But still. Sleep." Anyway it really sucked and it still happens sometimes when I'm trying to go to bed (but luckily not as bad as that one night) XD

See ya next chap