If we can't target WordGirl, we instead target her friends and family.
THIS made much more sense, thought Two-Brains as he continued to massage his right temple with his right hand (and his mouse brain with his left). All we need to do is wait for her mother to go to work and then BAM, we snatch her and lock her away. Or her father, assuming she has one. Or a sibling or a best friend or…
…Or all of them at once. That way, even if WordGirl shows up to stop us from taking ONE of them, we can still grab someone else. Not even WordGirl can be in two places at the same time!
And then…well, the obvious next step would be to force WordGirl to do whatever we want! Yes, of course! Hey WordGirl, don't worry about your mother, we're taking VERY good care of her! I know you're probably scared that your mother is being held by an evil criminal but don't be…I'm not a criminal anymore! Why would I need to be, when I can have YOU commit crimes FOR ME?
Two-Brains laughed, kicking his rolling-chair away and spinning across the room.
Yes, YES! Now go, WordGirl! Go and get me all of the cheese in the City! And be quick about it, or else I'll-
-Two-Brains stopped spinning.
…Or else I'll do what?
Or else I'll kill your mother, I guess? I mean, that seemed like the obvious solution. WordGirl would NOT want that to happen, of course. She would do ANYTHING to prevent it. What value is a few crates of stolen cheese and a ruined reputation compared to the loss of your own mother? Who would POSSIBLY risk it?
How does it work, though? What if she demands to see her mother? To make sure she's still alive?
And then we let her see her mother and then she frees her and beats the snot out of us…
No, that wouldn't work. The ONLY way for this to work would be if WordGirl never sees her mother again. We send her PICTURES of her mother, or maybe a broadcast over the TV! Yes, that way she knows we HAVE her mother but won't be able to find her-
-Super-hearing.
Two-Brains paused, looking around the room.
He had studied WordGirl's super-hearing back when they had been friends. It was…selective, to say the least. It's not like she heard every word in the city at the same time or anything like that. No, it seemed she only had her hearing tuned to certain things, like bank alarms or a villain's evil laugh or…
-Or her mother. She'd find her almost immediately. Heck, I could hide her mother in Australia and she'd still find her.
No problem. Just ORDER WordGirl not to look for her mother.
That was a long sentence, wasn't it? She could probably fly around the world three times before he was even done talking.
Two-Brains stood up, clutching his hands to the desk.
It's official. You can't blackmail a superhero.
Okay, fine then. Plan C.
Assume that her parents DON"T know her secret and then…tell them.
Dr. Two-Brains had met DA Sally Botsford several times before, both as his evil self AND as Professor Steven Boxleitner. She was a ruthless DA, employing Socrates-level interrogation techniques to all villains on the stand.
She was also a complete fruitcake.
I remember the first time I met her. She was THRILLED at the chance of getting to work with a real-life superhero. Heck…DA Sally Botsford was arguably WordGirl's first-ever fangirl.
This extended to the villains as well. As WordGirl's rogues gallery continued to grow, DA Botsford became more and more excited every time she got to meet them. 'OOH, CHUCK THE EVIL SANDWICH MAKING GUY, AWESOME! CAN I GET A PICTURE?' It had been completely genuine, even considering the fact that a moment later she got Chuck twenty years behind bars.
If I tell DA Botsford that her daughter is WordGirl…then what happens? She grounds Becky for life? Forbids her from ever being WordGirl again?
Of course not. Sally would probably hear the news and then immediately throw a party.
Maybe Sally's husband is more strict and concerned with his daughter's safety? Maybe HE would forbid Becky from ever being WordGirl again?
Maybe. Possibly.
Two-Brains pulled up some of the records he had snagged from town hall with the name 'Botsford' on the headline.
LOCAL MAN TIM BOSTFORD WINS PIG-IMPERSONATING CONTEST
Nevermind…
