SURPRISE! Extra update!
It's a beautiful day, the sky is a clear blue and only a few clouds skirt by. Our trip to the shoreline was a peaceful one, if very slow. With the snows still in place, we had to trudge carefully, digging out the waggons often before moving on. Thankfully we only had a few Titan sightings along the way, and even then they were essentially dormant in the snow.
And yet as we stood by the dock, readying the boat to move out with the skeleton crew and Eren on board, I wished it had rained the whole way, that we had been delayed time and again, because now we had to say our goodbyes. It wasn't forever, but it was still terrifying. Eren would be out there, alone. A kid still, barely eighteen. The wind shifted his hair, the sunshine sparkled in those bright green eyes, and I knew the sunshine did little against his cold determination. That was like the ice clinging to the calmer parts of the shore. He wanted to make the difference. He wanted to keep his home safe, and help us all break this cycle. For so long he had felt like a problem, like this power he'd been given was a symbol more than an actual help – but he had grown so much since that battle in Trost. Now he could control his Titan, he could stop and take stock of a situation before barrelling in manicaly. He had grown. But still… Just a kid.
"I'll be fine, Robyn." He rolled his eyes at me yet again, my worrying evident in my fidgets clearly. He shook his head, the final preparations being made. "I'll be as careful as I can, and before you know it I'll be back to annoy you all over again."
"I'd ask you to promise, but that's just dumb." I sighed, scraping my hair back and pulling him into a tight hug. "But still, do all that you can to come home again, alright? You're there for your mission, but that doesn't mean you have to swap your life for it. Got it?"
"I understand." He mumbled against my shoulder. "Same to you. If things develop and you have to take risks, keep in mind no one considers you fodder."
"Agreed." I stepped back and looked at him, his hair had gotten a little longer, and there was the merest hint of facial hair appearing along his jawline. A kid, yeah, but not a child. He would do great. And I had to trust that he would also keep himself safe.
Levi came to stand beside me as Eren headed onto the boat. The plan was for the mission to last as long as needed, so it could be a few weeks, or even months. We weren't even sure exactly how long the trip to Marley would take, the Captain had said it can vary a lot due to the weather on the seas. I wished them well, and did my best to hide the fact my eyes were tearing up and I was trembling head to toe. Levi put his arm around my waist and held tight, steadying me.
"He'll be alright, the brat's a pain in the ass but he has good survival instincts. Or at least some uncanny luck."
"I know, I know. I just hate that we have to assign so much responsibility to a kid."
"He volunteered. This is as much his fight as anyone else. And beyond that he'll likely be safest in Marley at this point, with the shitty Marlean soldiers readying to pop out at any moment. They won't be used to these deep snows so we have time still but… Well shit, the brat being across the sea is the best option."
I turned and put my head on his shoulder. "You're right, I know you're right."
"Mm, still a worrier though. Can't do much about that, I suppose."
I chuckled and thunked my head off his body. "I better go meet with Hanji and the returning party, if we move fast enough we'll be able to follow the track back to the walls before more snow falls."
He kissed my head. "I told you to say your goodbyes back at HQ."
"And I told you I'll go where I please," I looked up and kissing him tenderly. "You still planning on sticking around here for a few days?"
He nodded, grey eyes casting along the horizon for a moment, brow smooth despite how much I could sense the smoke gathering. Something was on his mind, but either he didn't feel it necessary to share, or it wasn't ready to be yet. He would tell me in time. I kissed his cheek and moved away, Hanji giving a wave for us to head out in the next few minutes.
Levi clicked his tongue. "Don't let Danston get to you, okay? I know you're finalising talks when you get back. He'll be getting desperate."
I glanced back over my shoulder and beamed in the sunshine. "Don't worry, Captain, I'll keep him solidly in his place."
"Glad to hear it." He dipped his head. "See you soon."
I winked and walked back to my horse, taking one last look at the horizon as the ship became a mere speck against the big blue ocean, and bigger blue sky. This world of ours had become so vast, so quickly. Were we really ready for all that? I guess we had to be.
Good luck Eren, we're all waiting…
LEVI POV
As the boat disappeared and Levi watched Robyn ride out with the small convoy, including the Commander, back to HQ, a peacefulness settled on his mind. So much was unknown, and yet they held a few key cards for once. Robyn had her loophole against the phrasing, not a fix-all and a dicey escape route at that, but that enemy didn't know about it. Jaeger was headed into enemy territory but was probably about as safe as possible. The White Cloaks were on the back foot. The government and crown were aligned with Scout interests and intent. And they were that much closer to breaking the cycle at the Source.
So naturally, as soon as Robyn was out of sight, with all those advantages in his mind, Levi had a sinking feeling pulling at his gut. It had first appeared when he looked at the horizon stood beside her, watching that brat fade into the big blue nothingness of the ocean beyond. So much was unknown, so Levi had to focus on what he did know. And he knew they had made progress. Not only Robyn, in valuing herself more, in accepting help and all round being less erratic. But Jaeger too. Credit where it was due, the brat had come a long way from the slightly manic child that had lingered behind bars on their first meeting.
As the man assigned to monitor Jaeger, the man who could decide to kill the kid whenever and if-ever it seemed needed, Levi had felt the need to keep a distance from Jaeger. With the other 104th Levi had garnered a rapport, not friendships, but respect. Ackerman was deranged in her affection for Jaeger, but she was a good soldier, and damn strong. Kirtschtein was a stubborn mule at times, and questioned orders too much for Levi's liking as a Captain, but he was a steadfast comrade as well. Loyalty ran deep despite the need to bicker. Levi assumed that came from the early loss of his fellow cadet Marco, or at least that was what Levi had gleaned from overhearing a few things in camp and at HQ. And Artlet. He had really stepped into his own strength since the mess with Kenny in the city, and that almost mishap with the shooting of an enemy. The boy had taken blood and realised something fundamental about the world, beyond his comfort zone of theory and thesis. Blood spilled. Action taken. Consequences realised. And now he held the power of a god in his veins, and the shadow of a beloved Commander looming over him. And the boy had only gotten stronger for it. That couldn't be denied, and Levi wasn't about to ignore it either. Springer and Braun were as odd as ever, but they worked as a team, somehow. A strange little family they had, but a family nonetheless.
And that feeling had been created entirely by Robyn.
Levi hadn't dared use the word 'family' since losing Isabel and Farlan, it had become so barbed with 'what if' and 'if only' that he would go running in the opposite direction if it was ever suggested. But Robyn had ignored all that. She had genuine affection for the brats, especially the likes of Jaeger. So as that boat disappeared over the horizon, their diplomatic hopes and intel needs resting on the shoulders of a total Brat, Levi tried to keep in mind what his wife would say. How she would feel. She trusted the boy, even after his foolish mistakes. And so Levi would trust in her belief, if nothing else.
Not to mention, the boy knowing how much Robyn was depending on him would supply quite the bout of motivation.
The light dimmed and he moved away to go help the patrols find the entrance to the tunnels. With the city exits confirmed by cadets, Danston had then conceded that the Scouts needed to know where the tunnel originated as well. It was about a mile away from the shoreline, to the west. They weren't sure if there would be Marlean forces set up there still or not, but they had to check. If not to confirm their theory in the first place, but to start planning how to cut off any escaping soldiers that might flee along the tunnels this way, instead of emerging into the cities further along.
He pulled his coat closer and headed for his horse.
ROBYN POV
Thankfully the ride back was much the same as the ride out, if not a little easier due to the lack of digging in the direction of home. Danston had agreed to wait until we returned to finalise talks – for one thing we had a schedule to maintain, and for another he had conceded that the Council had to be contacted about Valerie's release. Her crimes against us were many, but really, a lot of her crimes were against the people of the walls. Just as much as Danston's, but that was a fight for another day. So hopefully the council came back to us quickly, as I don't think Danston had any intention to leave the HQ without her bundled inside his carriage. Whether she wanted to be there or not. To say that she was disillusioned with her father-figure, was putting it lightly.
Still, that wasn't my fight.
We had the tunnel intel, and I had faith that the Council would want Valerie punished properly. Be that imprisoned for a very long fucking time, or put to death. Their way would be far cleaner than anything I'd want, but this wasn't only my call. My pain was valid, but it wasn't the only thing to be taken into consideration. Not any more. I wasn't living just for me these days, I had a whole family to look after. And beyond that, the people of the walls were looking to us to help them find their way in this new bigger world. We couldn't start that with random violence – no matter how justified.
But with all that in mind, the next day as we rode back into the HQ grounds to be met with an already haughty looking Danston, my patience already wore thin.
"You said two days, this is the third morning!" He barked like an impatient wife struggling to wrangle her young children, when in fact it was a commander failing to keep his men in line. Several guards had already deserted apparently. They could smell the shit on the wind and wanted to get out of the way in time. Danston was losing ground by the second.
I dismounted at the same time as Hanji, both of us ignoring the whining gripe and heading inside immediately. Talks could happen inside at least, where there were crackling fires and steaming tea. We kicked our boots free of snow before traipsing up the stairs to the meeting room. I thanked the cadet who laid out fresh tea and some basic rations for our lunch before we were once again left alone with Danston and his ego issues.
He continued. "Has the Council reached a decision?"
"Have they sent word?" I asked, flexing my fingers closer to the fire. "We literally just arrived, we know no more than you do. The Council is not down by the shoreline."
"You're stalling."
Hanji groaned. "No, in fact we want rid of you at this point, Danston. But we're following protocol and allowing the Council to have their say. Push my patience further and you'll find the limits of my professionalism."
He glowered. "My daughter does not deserve this–"
"Nope." I popped my lips loudly on the 'p'. "Don't play that one again, you know what she's done on her own orders as well as yours. Now then, did you have something new to say? Or are you just reminding us you're still here?"
He bared his teeth. "You damn Sanshi's. You do realise, with all your talk of breaking the cycle, you couldn't be more hypocritical?"
"How so?" I stirred some sugar into my tea and handed Hanji a fresh cup.
"The Sanshi's are the reason we are all even here on this spit of land. You lot are the reason King Fritz turned away from his duty!"
"You mean turned away from endless wars? From our understanding, despite how msiguided his methods and fucked up his approach in brainwashing an entire population, his intention was to stop the violence across the seas. Right?"
"He betrayed his people. He abandoned them. He gave up on conquest simply because he was too weary to lead! And you Sanshi's enabled that fact." Danston's hands slammed down. "I cannot fathom how your bloodline continues to–"
"What're you doing that's so different?" I laughed, shaking my head. "Assigning us to the rule of Marley, to be reduced only to our Pure Titan forms, wandering aimlessly, likely hunted for sport by those that seek to imprison us. Don't go throwing shit at King Fritz when you're doing something arguably worse."
"That is not how I see it. But you, you Sanshi's whispered in his ears, you got him to turn away from the destiny of our people. If not for your damned bloodline, we Eldians would probably be ruling the world by now!" He slammed his hands against the table again and we just stared at him. The man had always been mad, but this was kicking things up a notch.
And for once in my life, I was a little proud to be a Sanshi. How odd a feeling. If what he said was true, that is. If my family had indeed argued against the endless conquest, the wars, the mindless violence, then I was glad. No, I wasn't glad how it ended up. And it was incredibly ironic that Vincent of all people had come from a line of pacifists if it was true. But at least at some point Sanshi's hadn't been so bad.
But clearly this conversation was only intended for him to vent more madness.
I set my tea down and nodded to the door. "If that's all, Danston, please return to your convoy until the Council has–"
"You have nothing to say?" He snarled. "Nothing to defend? Nothing to explain?"
"You do realise it wasn't me, right? You're talking about hundreds of years ago."
"You're still accountable. Damn Sanshi's. You couldn't just play your part, could you? Couldn't just do as the rest of us have and played our part in the dance of destiny!"
Dance. Of. Destiny.
Wow, this was only getting weirder.
I stood. "If all you're going to do is ramble about the past and destiny doing a jig, I think we're done here. Commander?"
She nodded to me. "By all means, go about your duties."
"Thank you." I nodded and headed for the door.
Nothing like some classic stable duty to clear the mind, and distract me from the fact we had sent Eren into the lions den. The HQ was bustling and the cadets seemed glad to see our party returned – we had been forced to keep it secret what we were on mission doing of course. We couldn't be sure all those within our walls were loyal Scouts after all. But the air was crisp, the snow crunched pleasantly under my boots and there was plenty to be done. I doubted sleep would come easy that night. For one thing, my worries on Eren, and for another Levi was still in the field. He would be home soon enough, but even so. You never knew when that other shoe might drop – though I guess I was supposed to not be thinking like that, right?
I rolled my eyes at myself.
Then a chill ran down my spine as I heard the last chunk of an all-too-familiar phrase.
"Red burning blood."
Shit. Shit, shit, SHIT. Danston had followed me out and was clearly at the end of whatever rope he had been holding onto. Little Bird. He was out in the compound, right by the stables. Little Bird! The threads slinked into place, slicing into my wrists and my spine. Little. Bird. They loosened a bit, my mind racing as I tried to find an ally nearby. But everyone was inside. I was alone out here in the snow. Shitting hells, what had brought all this on? Had something happened while we were away? LITTLE BIRD.
He sneered at me and cast his arms wide. "You leave me with no choice, Sanshi scum. You will burn like the rest of your legacy."
The hells did that mean? My control sneaked back into my grasp. Little bird. Almost there.
He grinned. "You will adhere to the binds of your blood and you will change. You will tap into that filthy power and become the weapon you were intended to be. Shift. Sanshi, bitch. Shift!"
My body flooded with heat. No. No it can't be. My heart hammered and my bones ached, every muscle twitching as my body convulsed. I slumped to my knees. The air had been ripped from my lungs and my eyes stung with tears immediately. No. I wasn't a shifter, was I? This wasn't possible – surely it would have been triggered when the Female Titan almost killed me. Right? I tried to focus. No. Don't do it, don't give into it. Little Bird, we can do this, we can be free of it all. We don't need to see that sick plan see realisation. Do not shift. Do not change, do not start whatever sick timer this power might hold over you. Don't do it! Little bird!
"Blood of the father. Blood of the mother. Red burning blood." He kicked me onto my side and bellowed so hard it rattled around my skull. "SHIFT!"
Little… B… Bird…
I crawled away from him, away from the HQ, away from anyone I might hurt by accident. Please. No… Little… Uh my head… Little B…
Shit… I can't… Stop this…
Hanji appeared from the HQ as I dug my fingers into the frozen earth, clinging to something, anything. But as her eyes met mine across the compound, I could only shake my head and bare my teeth. Stay away. I can't.
Little Bi… Litt…
I screamed.
Light enveloped my world, and the distant sound of Vincent' laughter carried me away.
But to where?
Uh oh... I guess the other shoe dropped... Whoops? Cya next time!
