Kaori had always found it hard to relate to people her age, especially girls. They were more concerned with their looks, boys, and idols, things that she had never put much thought into growing up. During her junior high years, she had tried to engage in more girlish hobbies, but nothing felt quite as natural or entertaining as volleyball.

Volleyball….

"Stupid Kageyama," she muttered under her breath as she pulled her wallet out to buy her usual drink.

As much as she wanted to deny everything he said, she couldn't. Anything she could have said would only have brought him deeper into her heavily guarded walls.

How would Kageyama react if she told him happiness was a fool's errand and that misery was the only refuge from reality? That empty feeling in her being was what kept her grounded.

"Then stop acting like you want to play!"

Had she really been that obvious?

She crouched down to retrieve her drink once she heard the final clang.

"Why do I have to get Bakageyama his stupid milk?! I should get banana milk instead to spite him."

Kaori, recognizing the voice, instantly stood only to come face to face with Hinata.

He stumbled back a bit while she nodded over a greeting with her fake smile. Before she could turn on her heel to leave, Hinata called out to her.

"You're…Saito Kaori…."

Despite her calm composure, she was screaming on the inside at the untimely encounter with her ex.

She awkwardly shifted her weight as he stared. From the intensity of his gaze, it was like he was analyzing the entirety of her existence. "Yes?" He didn't seem to register that she was speaking to him. "Sho…Hinata-san, is there something on my face?"

He seemed to snap out of his trance and eagerly pointed up at himself. "Y-You know my name?"

She paused, taking in his words.

Why wouldn't she know him? Didn't he recognize her?

"I've seen you around Kageyama-san," she explained, trying to mask her confusion.

He seemed disappointed with her answer, but nevertheless, properly introduced himself with an outstretched hand. "Hinata Shoyo. I-I hope we have a great year together!"

She couldn't help but blush as she took his hand, nodding along with his words despite the fact that they were in different classes. His hand lingered on hers longer than a handshake should have. The whispers of students passing by brought Hinata back to reality as he retracted his hand and scratched the back of his head. "S-Sorry! It's just…you remind me of someone I knew."

"Someone you knew?"

Was Hinata really that dense to think she was an entirely different person?

"Someone I met in Junior High…." He put a hand on his chin, giving her another lookover. "There are more differences than similarities."

"Really now…like what?"

Hinata held up his hands, listing the differences with his fingers. "Your voice is different, your style, your height, your compositio-"

She stopped listening as she self-consciously covered her chest with her arm. Did he not understand the concept of puberty?


Kaori couldn't focus on her classmates' conversation as she finished up her strawberry milk. She still felt the warmth of Hinata's hand in hers, but as pleasant a feeling it was, seeing him was almost unbearably painful.

She excused herself from the group and made her way toward the bathroom, looking down at her hand.

His palm wasn't smooth and soft anymore. Rather, it was a little rough and dry.

"Kaori?"

She sighed, clutching her hand to her aching chest. Her hand didn't quite fit well in his anymore and maybe that was because time had taken its' toll on her to the point where she couldn't even recognize her own reflection.

"Hey!" A hand reached out and yanked Kaori around by the shoulder. "You're Kaori from Yukigaoka Junior High, Class 1-B and Class 2-C, aren't you?"

Kaori's mind drew a blank as she looked up at the chestnut haired girl with light blue eyes who announced, rather accurately, her middle school career. Judging by the color of her indoor shoes, she was a first year, but she wasn't in her class.

Her hard gaze turned desperate as she shook Kaori's shoulder. "Hey, quit messing around. I know it's you."

Kaori looked her over once more, trying to place a name to her face. "Ah." She focused in on the light trace of freckles around her nose that were faded away with makeup. That was when it dawned on her. "Miura…san?"

She nodded ferociously and pulled her into a bear hug that nearly threw her off balance. "You're so mean! How could you not recognize me?"

She tapped the taller girl's back, trying to signal her need for air. "Sorry, Miura-san. I'm surprised you remember…."

She pushed Kaori back, her hands on her shoulders. "How could I forget our Ace…?"

Kaori narrowed her eyes, her shoulders tense.

Ace….

What was so good about being called that?

In the spur of the moment, Kaori had nearly forgotten that they were teammates on the volleyball team for over a year before she transferred. Miura Aria was a middle blocker back when Kaori was still an outside hitter.

Miura furrowed her brows and tightened her lips as if trying to figure out the cause of Kaori's sudden discomfort. She released her, snapping her fingers in realization. "Have you met up with Hinata yet?"

Kaori looked up at her, partly off guard, and remembered her encounter with him at the vending machine. "Yeah…."

"Then you both made up already," she sighed in relief. "I bet he was happy to know he wasn't the reason you left."


Since Kaori's harsh conversation with Michimiya, the third year had yet to show herself. Kaori felt something was missing in her daily school routine without anyone chasing her around with a club form. She should have felt relieved, but she wasn't. She shouldn't have cared, but a small part of her wouldn't let it go.

Why was it so hard to let go of a fleeting hobby?

If volleyball wasn't the issue, then Hinata was. Now throw in someone who actively recognizes her and is a mutual between her and Hinata.

Utter madness.

As much as she tried to suppress her feelings, she couldn't escape them.

Maybe, I should have stuck with Shiratorizawa….

Kaori looked through the assortment of bread at the school shop for her lunch, but she couldn't focus. Each food product reflected the face of her main stressors. She rubbed her temples, deciding not to get anything as she made her way down the hall to the Nurse's Office to get some rest.

"Hey." Kaori raised her head and smiled on impulse until a club form was shoved in front of her. "Care to tell me why I stopped by the Faculty Office to drop off my club transfer form only to learn you aren't even on the team?"

Though the corner of Kaori's mouth twitched, she kept her smile plastered on. "I didn't apply."

Miura threw her arms into the air. "What kind of backwards world is this?"

"I just don't…. Wait, what do you mean club transfer form?"

"Ah…well…." She rubbed the back of her neck, nonchalantly whistling a random tune. "I sort of…quit playing and joined track. I was just thinking about jumping back into volleyball now…but if you're not going to be there, then I don't want anything to do with it."

"If you want to play still then play." Kaori cupped her bottom lip between her thumb and finger, trying to sound more lighthearted than cold. "Please, don't rely on me to make your own decisions."


Despite knowing they were neighbors, seeing Kageyama outside his home was still a strange scene to witness. She was about to head to the bus stop to wait for her brother, but the awkward eye contact she made with her neighbor kept her loitering at her gate.

Kaori still felt apprehensive around him after their talk, but before anything could happen, her mom stepped out with the brightest smile. "Kao-chan, welcome home!" She hurried over, acting as if Kaori was gone for awhile, when in reality, she just wanted to get a better look at Kageyama. "Oh, is that your friend? Good evening, young man."

"H-Hello…." Kageyama awkwardly greeted with a slight bow.

"A little rough looking…but he's tall and healthy," she whispered, patting Kaori on the back.

"You should join us for dinner!" her mother beamed, forcibly dragging Kageyama into their home.

He had no choice but to resign himself to Kaori's room once her mother trapped him in their house. He looked around as Kaori pushed in a short table from another room. She couldn't help the slight amusement she had when she noticed his gazed fixed on her window.

"Behold the infamous window," she announced. She immediately regretted her actions when he remained silent and narrowed his eyes at her. That wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.

"Ho ho ho…."

She looked over at Kageyama, wondering if that strange sound came from him. She waved the thought away and excused herself from the room to get drinks.

"Sooooo, tell me about the boy," her mother teased, eagerly waiting for her answer as she prepared drinks for the teens. "How did you meet him? Is he a classmate? An upperclassman?"

Kaori scrunched up her face, realizing what her mother was really implying. "Kageyama-san lives next door and happens to be in my class."

When Kaori returned to her room, she was expecting to see him sitting just as stiff as she had left him, but instead she walked in on something she probably shouldn't have. Kageyama froze and stared back at her blank expression in fear. A brown box was pulled from under her bed and opened. Various items were sprawled out on the floor around the culprit.

She closed the door, setting the tray down on the table before taking a seat. Kageyama gulped, finding the sensation in his limbs to move once more as he shut the photo album he was browsing through.

"You and Hinata…," he started, her fists balling up under the table in anticipation. "…were friends?"

"Huh?" she replied, baffled at his interpretation.

He opened the album once more, turning it over for her to see like it was nothing. "You have a lot of pictures with Hinata."

Kaori sighed, taking the album back. "We used to be close until I had to move away…. It's nothing special anymore."

He shrugged it off and helped her to repack all her old trinkets. She spotted her old broken pair of red glasses and carefully wrapped them up in a handkerchief.

"You wear contacts?" he questioned as she gently placed the bundle back into the box and under her bed. "You were wearing glasses in all your photos."

"No…." She tilted her head back at him, briefly recalling when she last wore them.

"

After her post-practice shower, Kaori changed back into her uniform, glad they were still intact. Her good luck didn't last when she realized her glasses had gone missing. She crawled around the floor of the locker room, trying to feel around for her glasses with her severe nearsightedness.

"Looking for these?"

Her shoulders tensed at the cold voice of her upperclassman. She gulped, turning around slowly to the blurry blobs that began to surround her. "C-Can I have my glasses back? Please…." she mumbled quietly as if hoping none of them heard her.

"How bothersome." She clicked her tone in disgust as Kaori sat on her legs, helplessly hanging her head down. "You're so blind, I'm surprised you can even play decently." She stepped forward and bent down, pulling Kaori's chin up by force as everyone watched on with no hint of remorse. "Listen here, I'm doing you a favor. These flimsy things are only a hindrance to the team's performance. If they fell off or broke in the middle of a match-" She released Kaori's face and twirled her red frames around before casually snapping them in half. "-then our star player wouldn't even be able to see the ball coming."

Kaori was angry, frustrated, and scared. She felt so many emotions, but had no way of expressing them without causing more trouble. All she could do was bite back the tears that defiantly fell and ball her fists until everyone left.

"Oh…Riri-chan…." The only person ever on her side was their Captain, Jones Jenna. "I should have gotten here sooner…."

"It's alright…," Kaori replied, trying her best to collect what was left of her glasses with her handkerchief. "I-I think I can tape them back together…."

"…have you ever thought about getting your vision fixed? I'm sure you're qualified with how thick your lens are."

"It's expensive and I'm not even old enough to get something like that done…."

"My father knows a doctor that would be willing to make an exception for you! Don't even sweat about the cost!"

Kaori didn't like where the conversation was going, but always found it hard to refuse the only person who stayed by her side. "Y-You really don't have to! I'm not good with needles, let alone lasers."

"We're friends, aren't we? Besides, if we fix your vision then the others won't go around breaking your glasses anymore."

"Friends…."

"As your best friend, I only want what's best for you, Riri-chan."

"


Kageyama was surprised to see how empty Kaori's room was. She seemed more like a minimalistic renter than a real inhabitant of the household. The only personality in the room was the bin stowed away beneath her bed.

He wasn't sure what drove him to snoop through her things, but if he had to guess, maybe he was hoping it was some sort of concrete explanation on why volleyball was a sensitive subject for her. After all, people only hide what they can't let go.

If only she walked in a few minutes later, he had a hunch that he was close to a big discovery.

"Dinner should be ready now," she said, making her way out of the room. She waited with arms crossed at the doorway for him to collect himself and follow after her.

As they descended the stairs, he couldn't help but linger at the entranceway and debate on making a run for it. Kaori was already in the kitchen when he jumped back into his shoes and lunged toward the door.

"I'm ho- What?" The door opened before he could grab the knob. He cursed as a shorter male with messy brown hair glared up at him.

"What?" Kageyama asked, straightening his back with his arms crossed.

"Did you just get back, Nao?" Kaori called out from behind Kageyama.

"Is this guy bothering you, Nee-san? He's got a nasty look on his face."

"N-Nee-san?" Kageyama questioned, looking between the two as their mother joined the group with a ladle in hand.

"Oh my, that's just Kao-chan's frie-"

"He's our neighbor," Kaori interjected.


Kaori was surprised to hear people practicing in the second gymnasium during the lunch break. She happened to be passing by after deciding to take the long way to the vending machine from class.

If she remembered right, that was the gym where she met the boys' volleyball team's manager.

She wondered if Kageyama was practicing inside. He seemed to be scribbling down something related to volleyball instead of taking notes in math that morning.

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts as a rouge ball slipped through the mesh that curtained the entranceway. The ball bounced a bit before rolling the rest of the way to her feet.

Her lips pulled back as she crouched down to pick up the ball.

How long had it been since she last held a volleyball?

"Sorry!" She looked up, startled at the sudden loud voice that leaped through the mesh. "I-" His feet slowly came to a stop before her and all she could do was stare up at him with wide eyes. "Kaori-chan…?" Hinata's face flushed as he waved his arms around. "Sorry! I-I meant Saito-san. Y-You really reminded me of-"

"Someone you used to know?" she asked, standing up to pass him the ball.

He nodded bashfully, trying to look away as he held the ball to his chest. "D-Do you play?"

"No." He seemed surprised at her harsh tone. "Sorry, sometimes I get a little cranky when I haven't eaten yet." She was definitely on the thinner side. "Wow, Hinata-san is in the volleyball club. I would have never thought."

"B-Because I'm…short?"

She hit a nerve. A nerve that had always been an insecurity of his.

"N-No. That's not what I meant at all. I just…." She paused, trying to find the right words to console the him. "You seem like a really driven guy." He perked up, his eyes shinning as if telling her to go on. "Like the type of person who charges in full steam ahead and doesn't give up once they've set their eyes on a goal."

As soon as she finished her sentence, a ball ricocheted off the back of Hinata's head, causing him to nearly stumble to the ground.

A dark entity emerged into the breezeway. "Oi, dumbass, what's taking so long?"

"Why did you have to hit me, Crappyama?!" he whined, hurling his ball toward Kageyama's face. He caught it one-handed, his gaze unsettling as both Hinata and Kaori flinched. Within seconds, Hinata was dragged back into the gym and Kaori was left alone wondering if she should have done something.

With a sigh, she looked up at nothing in particular. "So he still plays volleyball…."

It was interesting. Both Miura and Hinata were her classmates in middle school, yet Miura quit while Hinata persevered. Though she couldn't be entirely surprised. Hinata was always the single-minded type while Miura relied on others to commit to something.

If she remembered right, Hinata wanted to be a wing spiker back then. It was the coolest position in his eyes, but he was entirely clueless when it came to basic game mechanics.

She wanted to see for herself how much he improved since then, but she couldn't bring herself to follow after. Going in would only be counterproductive to her ultimate goal.

Kageyama already called her out on her actions not matching her words.

She looked down at her hands, still feeling the faint touch of the volleyball she held. "I want to play…."

"Interested in becoming a manager?"

She turned around to face a pair of male upperclassmen that, she assumed, belonged to the volleyball club.

"Just passing by," she replied, throwing on a bright smile as she bowed and tried to take her leave.

"Ah, you're the one Michimiya has been trying to recruit for the girls' team," the dark haired upperclassmen said, nodding to himself while the gray haired one gave her a warm smile. "I'm the Captain for the boys' club, Sawamura Daichi."

"I'm the Vice-Captain, Sugawara Koshi. It's nice to meet you face-to-face, Saito-san."

"Eh?" Kaori never recalled either of them showing up with Michimiya whenever she came around to bother her. Did she describe her to them or were they watching from afar?

Regardless, she wanted nothing to do with either of them if they were involved with that damned sport. Though she did her best not to stir up trouble, her cowardice tendencies kicked in and she ran away before they could utter another word.


She ran her fingers through her hair a few times as she tried her best to focus on her homework, but eventually, her grazing became a balled fist of pent up frustration.

There was no point in joining a club or making memories. She was just biding time until her cracked shell finally turned to dust. There was no meaning left to waste any more breath on anyone. After all, no one truly cared. She was alone on a path to nowhere while passersby went on with their lives, using what and who they could along the way.

There was no such thing as happiness in the darkness and friendship was a convenient lie told until someone lost their worth.

She was no stranger to that kind of abandonment.

"You seriously thought we were friends? Ha! I hate you with every fiber of my being…and I'll happily take away everything you hold dear, Riri-chan."

"Nee-san?"

Her eyes widened, turning to the side where her brother sat on his knees beside her chair with his hand hovering over her shoulder. She wasn't sure how long he had been calling out to her, but she played it off with a smile as she ruffled his hair.

"Having trouble sleeping, Nao?"

The mute, worried expression on his face never left as he laid his head down on her lap. His position couldn't have been comfortable in the slightest, but he didn't complain.

"Are you feeling sick?" she asked, reaching around with her hands to compare their forehead temperatures. He shook his head, guiding her hand back to his head in a petting motion. She let out a breath, amused by his childish action as she complied with his silent request.

"…that night…." Her hand paused briefly at his words before resuming as if nothing happened. "What you said…does it still hold true even now?"

"Of course. I'll do anything to make you happy, Nao."

"Then…." He raised his head, looking up into her eyes with a sense of determination. "Please, play volleyball again." He pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper from his pocket and flattened it out on her lap. "If not for your sake, then for mine."

Her jaw dropped, but she was at a loss for words.

What does one do when faced with a contradiction?

When their atonement for their sins meant giving up everything and yet making it up to the one who was left hurting the most?

She had a million questions racing through her head in response to her brother's request, but only a lump was left heavy in her throat. Without much resistance, she did the only thing she knew how to anymore—smile and nod.