The next morning, Kaori begrudgingly wandered the third years' floor, trying to find Michimiya. She had hoped to spot the brunette in the hall, but to her luck there was no sign of her. She couldn't remember if the Captain told her what class she was in and she was too embarrassed to ask a random student considering the contents of the paper in her pocket.

"Saito-san?" At the sound of her surname, she turned to see Sugawara emerging from class 3-4.

She bowed as he approached her. "Good morning, Sugawara-senpai."

He bowed in return with his own greeting. "Good morning. What brings you to the third years' hall?"

His smile felt warm and infectious to the point where she wondered if hers looked obviously forged in comparison. "I'm looking for Michimiya-senpai."

He put a hand to his chin in thought. "Michimiya…. Have you tried her classroom?"

He pointed down the hall with a smile. Noticing Kaori's puzzled expression, he offered to walk her down and check.

Kaori couldn't help playing with her hair, wishing it was longer as she waited for Sugawara to get the energetic brunette. She debated making a run for it while she still could, but before she could weigh her options, Michimiya's tearful face appeared mere inches away from hers. "Kaori-chan! Is it really you? Have you been well?" She pulled out her handkerchief, blowing her nose before turning back to the first year. "Senpai is sorry she hasn't been visiting you much lately."

"I-It's fine…really." Kaori leaned slightly to the side, trying to signal to Sugawara for help, but he responded with an encouraging gesture.

Kaori cleared her throat, fishing into her pocket for the balled-up form. She looked away, holding the form out to her. She curiously unfolded it with Sugawara peering over her shoulder from the side.

"N-No way!" She shouted in disbelief, looking between Kaori and the club form. "Is this really happening?!"

Sugawara grinned. "So you decided to join after all!"

"What's going on?" Shimizu asked, approaching their group. She noticed the club form and turned to Kaori. "Are you applying to be a manager for the boys' team?"

Michimiya shouted, cutting Kaori off from explaining herself, "No!" She teared up, finding it hard to speak with every passing word. "She is…actually…actually…." She violently blew her nose into her handkerchief once more, startling Kaori while Sugawara chatted with Shimizu.


Kaori couldn't concentrate on her lessons that day and decided to get some rest in the Nurse's Office before she got any more lightheaded from stress. After accepting her application, Michimiya raced off saying something along the lines of after school practice in the first gymnasium.

She was aware of the rumors students spread about the girls' team. They're lazy, unmotivated, and only host a practice once every blue moon to say they have club activities throughout the year. That worked out fine in her favor since she could report to Naoko that she joined while not actually having to play.

But she was still anxious.

Would she be able to manage even a couple minutes with her new teammates?

She wasn't prepared to play that day so she ended up changing into her PE uniform. She tied her hair up into a small ponytail as she made her way over to the gym. From the doorway she could already hear the lively chatter of girls and froze.

This isn't Hakuryo…, she reminded herself, reaching a hand up to her head to suppress the oncoming headache.

"Kaori-chan! You made it!" Michimiya squealed, pulling Kaori into the gym by the wrist. "Everyone! This is Saito Kaori! She's a really skilled player who will undoubtable be a great asset for us moving forward!"

Kaori took in a deep breath and bowed, "Please, take care of me!"

Including herself, there were twelve girls on the team, but only seven showed up.

"I'm the Vice-Captain, Aihara Mao," the tall, dirty blond haired girl greeted as she hooked her arm around another tall girl. "And this bundle of sunshine is Suda Aoi. She's a first year just like you."

Suda seemed more cold than warm, but Kaori didn't have time to dwell on it when she was nearly tackled to the ground by a brunette with light pink eyes.

"Kao-tan! I'm so glad you're finally here. I've been watching you from afar and manifesting all my time and energy to summon you."

"E-Eh?"

Aihara bonked the girl, causing her to release Kaori. "You're going to scare her away if you act like that Kayo."

She playfully stuck out her tongue and winked over to Kaori. "Machi Kayo, desu! Fill free to call me Kayo or Kacchan or even Senpai! I must warn you though. If you call me Senpai, I might not be able to control myself and-"

Aihara knocked her out and dragged her away.

"Sasaki Chizuru, pleased to meet you. I usually go by Aya, but please address me however you're comfortable," a light brown haired girl with light brown eyes greeted.

Kaori wasn't sure she would be able to remember everyone's name, but from the gist of it, the majority were third years.

A timid girl with brown pixie-cut hair approached her next. "M-Manami Aoki, class 2-5. P-Pleased to m-meet m-m-me. Eh?! I-I mean you!"

"Four other girls weren't able to make it today, but you'll meet them soon enough, Kaori-chan," Michimiya said before she led their warmup for the day.

Considering the lack of physical activity the past few months, Kaori wasn't as winded as the others seemed to be during their water break. They had just gotten back from doing three laps around the gym, which wasn't much considering other athletic clubs ran their laps around the school.

The environment at Karasuno was completely different in comparison to Hakuryo, but Kaori couldn't let her guard down. Every high school was the same no matter where in the world it was.

"Let's practice some spiking!" Michimiya called out, pulling out the volleyball carts. "Manami, Kayo?"

"Y-You w-w-want me to s-s-s-set the b-ball up a-again?" Manami asked, her knees trembling as Machi took her place at the net.

Manami was obviously uncomfortable, but the others kept pushing her to do it. Kaori raised her hand, volunteering to do it in her stead.

"Y-You w-w-want me to s-s-s-spike now?"

Was there no right answer with her?

"Are you a setter?" Machi asked, pushing one of the ball carts over to Kaori.

"Something like that," she replied, picking out a ball as the rest of the girls formed two lines.

She held the ball against her forehead, her nose bumping into the padding as she took a deep breath.

It's just practice, she told herself.


Kaori was sprawled out on the couch, exasperatedly reflecting on her first day with the team.

She was giving them the benefit of the doubt from all the rumors surrounding the team, but she couldn't help but be irked at the lack of care for form and hard work. Aihara and Suda had the best forms out of the bunch, but that only brought the team to an average level. It was hard to gauge Machi's skill as the team's official setter after only having done spiking, serving, and receiving exercises, but Kaori could tell she was fairly consistent with her technique, especially with the third years.

The next day, Michimiya introduced her to the remaining five players—third year: Watabe Nozomi, and second years: Sudou Rinko, Kikuchi Moe, Hamano Akane, and Tao Chiyo. Though, unsurprisingly, there was no practice scheduled for the afternoon.

"Ah, before I forget. I have a friend at Tokonami High who connected me with the Captain of their girls' team. We're going to play a scrimmage with them this weekend so come prepared!"

"Eh?"

Kaori noticed it before, but Michimiya wasn't the most organized or responsible person in the world. She scheduled a practice match despite only having had one short practice since Kaori joined. Michimiya seemed eager and excited, but Kaori couldn't quite share the same sentiment.


The match came faster than anticipated, but everyone on the team seemed oddly calm during the bus ride over to Tokonami High. Once they arrived and settled down in the gym, they began to stretch and warm up. Eventually, Michimiya had to rush off to perform her Captain duties with their faculty adviser, Hirano Risa, while the girls chatted amongst themselves.

"Neh, Kao-tan." She flinched, reluctantly looking over to the team's setter. "Isn't it a little uncomfortable wearing joint paddings over leggings and long sleeves?"

"Not really."

"Ah," Machi's face flushed at her own suspicious thoughts. "Could it be…you're actually really shy about showing a little skin?" Before she could embrace her, Aihara grabbed her by the back of her shirt and dragged her away.

"I'm jealous of your legs," Sasaki admitted, wiping away a stray tear. "No matter how much I diet, I can't seem to get rid of any fat…. Especially in my thighs!"

A sharp gleam appeared in Machi's eyes. "If you're going for sex appeal, ChiChi and Aoi-tan have her beat."

The team's dynamic was strange to say the least.

"Everyone!" Ms. Hirano called out, motioning everyone over to their designated row of chairs as the match neared its start. "Remember to do your best and have fun today!"

"HAI!" everyone cheerfully shouted with their arms outstretched in the air. Kaori couldn't help lagging behind the group. She didn't want to be here and their routines were too lighthearted.

"Are you ready for your first match?" Michimiya asked as Aihara passed out red jerseys and called out the names of the starting players for the receiving side.

All Kaori could do was smile and nod as she got into place. It wasn't common for first years to play on a starting roster, but it was only a practice match. They were only going to take it as seriously as they did normal practices.

There were six spots on the court starting from the right back position and continuing on counterclockwise. Michimiya started in the back right followed by Tao, Machi, Suda, Aihara, and Kaori with Watabe as the substitute for Tao.

With the amount of height and spikers on their rotation, Kaori wasn't planning on calling for any tosses as the other team began their serve.

Set 1: 25-13

Somehow, Kaori managed to get by with simple returns and the occasional toss. Kaori had never practiced formations or any other in-game dynamics with the team before, so their movements looked nothing but disorganized. Suda seemed just as lost as she was, but was content with doing her part as a middle blocker.

"Good job, good job everyone," Michimiya cheered, trying her best to catch her breath as they all grouped up in a circle. "How are you feeling, Kaori-chan?"

"Huh?" Michimiya was the most tired out of players, yet she took the time to check on her, the one who put in the least amount of effort. A part of her felt ashamed for slacking off when she was always one who prided herself on technique. "I-I'm fine."

"Let's keep this up, girls!" Michimiya shouted.

"Don't overwork yourself, Yui. Hirano-sensei can sub you out with one of the others so you can take a break," Aihara suggested, handing over her water bottle.

Michimiya gulped down half the bottle before wiping off her mouth with a heavy, "I'm good to go!"

Machi frowned, making eye contact with Kaori. Kaori looked away, pretending not to have noticed her soundless request to help Michimiya.

Whether she called for tosses or not was more complex than simple. In simple terms, Kaori was out of practice in spikes. She hadn't spiked in months, maybe even a year if one took official matches into account.

She couldn't do it.

It was pointless.

Set 2: 18-25

Kaori changed nothing and Michimiya was eventually swapped out with Hamano before she collapsed from exhaustion. During the short moments between points, everyone seemed to be trying hard and doing their best, but in reality, they were just overcompensating for their lack of drive.

"Sensei, put me back in!" Michimiya cried out to their adviser.

Hirano puffed out one of her cheeks with her hands on her hips. "You need to rest, Michimiya-san. I won't tell you again."

Hamano had her arms crossed with her typical hard gaze. She seemed like she had something she wanted to say, but bit back the words for the sake of the others.

Kaori looked away from Michimiya, debating her options. From what she had seen of the opposing team, they weren't all that special. They just took advantage of the gaps in her side's lineup and aimed for the weaker player as any other team would.

Did they really need her here to win? There was a fifty-fifty chance of them taking the third set if they swapped her out with a fresh player. Though, she wouldn't be able to vouch for the remaining players' passing abilities.

She turned back over to the Karasuno girls' taken aback when their faces were blurred out into darkness in her vision. She rubbed her eyes, but the dark smudges stayed. She could hear their voices, but they sounded distant despite only being a few feet away.

Why?

Why was she here?

Why was she putting herself through this again?

"Maybe…," she spoke up, leaning her forehead into her hand. "I should just sub out…."

"No!" Michimiya retorted. "I want Kaori-chan to play as many games as she can with all of us!"

Kaori's head shot up, the details of her Captain's face faintly reappearing for a second. "Michimiya…senpai…."

"I want Kaori-chan…to be happy that she joined…." She bit her lip as the referee blew the whistle, signaling for the players to return to their positions for the final set.

This wasn't good.

The team wasn't supposed to be serious about anything. Her club activities were supposed to stay a pointless chore to keep her brother satisfied.

But would he really be satisfied if he saw her now?

She trudged along after the others, but the laminated wood below her feet softened the second she stepped onto the court. It was as if she was pushing her way through quicksand and the harder she struggled, the faster she sank.

Set 3: 3-10

"Chance ball!" Aihara shouted, bumping the ball over to Kaori for a toss. Kaori got under the ball, but before she could set up their attack, Michimiya's words rang in the back of her head. "Ah…."

By the time she remembered the ball, her timing was off and the toss was missed by Aihara. Kaori was in shock of her actions, but before she could apologize, Michimiya's voice echoed through the gym.

"Don't give up!"

"W-We're losing…," Kikuchi whimpered from the sidelines. "W-We can't r-recover from this."

"S-Sorry everyone," Manami apologized, trying to catch her breath as she was about ready to cry over her poor tosses throughout the set. "I-If only I was a better s-s-setter. T-Then S-Saito-san wouldn't have to c-cover for m-me…." Machi had to sub out and rest after the first couple of points, and the only other person who could replace her was Manami.

"Don't mind, don't mind," Hamano said, patting the shaken girl's back. "You'll get the next one, Aoki."

The whistle blew and the opposing team served. Aihara returned it to an emotional Manami. She tossed the ball, but it wasn't high enough for Aihara.

Set 3: 3-12

"S-Sorry, Aihara-senpai!" Manami apologized after the ball spiraled out. "I-I should have made the toss higher."

"Don't worry about it," Aihara replied.

"What are you doing?" Hamano barked out, shoving Kaori back.

Their adviser called a timeout as the girls tried to separate them.

"C-Calm down, Akane," Michimiya said, standing between the two while Aihara held Hamano back.

"Don't look down on us!" Hamano snapped. "Aren't you supposed to be some kind of amazing player? What the hell was that toss earlier?"

"I never said I was," Kaori spat out.

"That's enough," Aihara said as Hamano tried to squirm out of her grip. "You're going too far."

"She's right though…," Sasaki added. "I thought that with Kaori here…we would win instantly."

"Michimiya…." Hamano's voice was shaky. "Don't you feel bad for Michimiya-senpai?"

Kaori opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

"Don't you feel bad for Jenna?"

Kaori covered her ears, trying to push back the painful memory as Hamano continued her rant. "She covered for every receive, every pass, every spike that you could have gotten…. Why are you even here? Are we some kind of joke to you?"

"I-It's alright!" Michimiya tried her best to be optimistic and raise the morale of the group. "Kaori-chan is still getting adjusted to playing with us."

Why did this all sound so familiar to her?

In the end, she was just their tool, a means to accomplish a goal. She wasn't a person in their eyes. They were only being nice to her for their own selfish gain. That was how the world worked. That was how she lived for the past two years.

"I hate this," Kaori whispered, her head twirling in circles. "Stop tolerating me! You are all depending on me to make the plays, but I'm sick and tired of your fictitious camaraderie towards me when all you're trying to do is manipulate me for your own benefit! I'm a person too!" Kaori realized too late that she reflected her residual anguish toward Hakuryo onto Karasuno.

She shut her eyes, afraid of what she would see.

To her surprise, she was pulled into an embrace by Machi. "There, there," she hummed, stroking her head as if they had been close all their lives. Kaori bit her bottom lip, trying her best not to cry, but she failed as soon as Machi said, "You're doing your best because you actually really want to play, Kaori."

"I-I'm not!" she cried out, burying her face into her shoulder. "I can't…. Everything is hazy and it's like I'm fighting against myself to move on the court…."

"That's why you're not alone." Kaori felt a hand on her back and another on her shoulder. "There are six players on the court. Remember, Kao-tan?"

A dark shadow looms over the court, gripping at my throat.

It knows all my deepest secrets and keeps me grounded.

Alone, I stand no chance against it.

Michimiya had a strange habit of slapping her face hard enough to make her cheeks as red as a tomato to help her stay focused, or rather stay hopeful. This was one of the most important duties of the Captain, to be the glue that kept everyone together.

"Call out if you want the toss!" Machi chimed in before the serve receive started.

They were both put back into the game for one final attempt at a comeback.

The ball was served across, but it fell short toward the back row, causing Aihara to dive down to keep the ball in play.

"Cover!"

During her time in Hakuryo, Kaori's teammates would purposefully give her terrible tosses when the coach wasn't looking. When she had to rally with a partner, they would purposefully give her difficult passes until her sides cramped up. By the end of practice, Kaori found it painful to even breathe.

But she bore with it.

That was the difference between a powerhouse school and a small school in the Miyagi prefectural croplands, she would tell herself.

Eventually, they forced her into becoming their libero her third year since they knew how much she loved to spike and they wanted to give her the position that would give them the most versatility to wreck her body. That era didn't last long before they remembered her worth in the competition and converted her over into being the starting setter. They gave her the power as the control center of the game, but she was too afraid and intimidated to give them payback. She became a machine that only operated in the way her teammates favored in matches.

When she showered in the girls' locker room after practices, her teammates would mess with her things. They would cut holes in her clothes, put things in her locker to frame her for stealing, write hurtful notes, and either liter the floor with her belongings or hide them around school.

She knew it wasn't right, but she couldn't say anything. If she tried to talk to an adult, things would only have gotten worse for her and anyone associated with her.

Jenna, the team Captain, was the only one who looked out for her and treated her as both a teammate and a friend. But Kaori was deceived from the start. The person she trusted the most had long turned her back on her.

"Shit, sorry!" Machi cursed, messing up her toss in the heat of the moment. The other team moved, prepared for a chance ball, but Kaori knew better.

Her father taught her better than this.

"Kaori, my little angel, do you still love volleyball?"

He would have been disappointed in her current state.

There was a switch in her head, and if she flipped it, she wouldn't be able to hide from the demons she tried so hard to bury away in her thoughts.

She was disappointed in herself.

Her mind went numb and her legs were heavy, restrained by the weight of her former teammates. Her surroundings were engulfed in darkness, but somehow, someway, she managed to see the light. It was small and faint, but it was enough to pull her in to touch it.

Set 3: 4-12

"Nice kill, Kaori-chan!" Michimiya cheered alongside Machi while Tao gave her a quick pat on the head.

Kaori stared at her hand in disbelief. She couldn't see where she sent the ball, but the stinging sensation in her hand told her it was real.

"One more point!" Aihara shouted as the girls reset their positions.

"Twelve is all they get!" Michimiya announced, psyching herself up for her serve.

Set: 23-23

The ball was in play, Machi got the first hit in, leaving Kaori to get under the ball in time to plan their next attack.

Kaori's quickly scanned the other side of the net from the corner of her eye, but it was no good. Everything was still clouded in her vision.

There was no more time left to waste as she bounced the ball off her fingers, "Captain!"

Michimiya was in the air with a smile on her sweat ridden face as she smacked the ball through the opposing team's blockers.

Kaori was in shock, the haze clearing up around her teammates.

Had Michimiya always spiked like that? What else was she starting to see now?

Breaking her trance, Michimiya handed her the ball and gave her a slight push toward the service box. "You're up, Kaori-chan. Good luck!"

Kaori's heart was racing as she tried to calm her breath. Everyone was on-edge. The scores were close, but it was match point in her side's favor.

How long had it been since she last felt excited during the tensest moment of the game?

If she was going to stick with these girls, they needed so much more than a broken soul.

All those days Michimiya chased her down with a club form and all those points gained and lost in the match; she couldn't let their efforts be in vain and she couldn't disgrace volleyball any further.

Because, she loved it.


Kaori's muscles ached from the drawn out three sets and lack of exercise she put herself through after dropping out of Hakuryo, but the match was finally over: 25-23.

Despite the game only being a mere scrimmage, the girls screamed and hugged one another as if they had won the Championships. The high the girls rode plummeted the second they settled down in the bus. Aside from Ms. Hirano, Kaori, and Michimiya, everyone else was asleep.

"Did you have fun today, Kaori-chan?" Michimiya asked, leaning over her seat to look down at her underclassman. Kaori covered her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket, a light blush coloring her cheeks as she gave her Captain a slight nod. Michimiya grinned, flashing her a peace sign. "Success!"

"But…."

"Eh?"

"If you're still aiming for Nationals…the team has a long way to go."

She clasped her hands together in a praying fashion. "Please! We may not be the strongest now, but with you-"

"I'm not the most reliable player…clearly." Kaori held her hand up, stopping Michimiya from retorting her statement. "Besides…there are six players on the court at a time…and the team can only be as strong as their weakest link…."

"Then…we just need to practice more, right?"

"If you already know then you don't really need me."

She flinched, pouting as she traced circles into the top of her seat. "B-But…it's hard to hold practice every day since no one is motivated enough to go. We don't have a coach either to help with our techniques or strategies…."

Kaori figured the girls' knowledge on the sport were limited to the basics, but was she sufficient enough to fill in the empty shoes of a coach? Thinking back to her half-assed playing made her blood boil, yet her body ached remembering the final set where she stopped trying to convince herself that the sport was a joke. Her own unresolved issues were like shackles keeping her from moving forward no matter how hard she struggled against them. She would only end up cold and bruised.

It was a simple fact that each team had six players on the court at one time, but the rule had become twisted in her heart. Machi said she wasn't alone, yet Kaori had never felt supported in the past two years.

Yes, no one can play volleyball on their own, but Kaori was alone in her fight to survive on the court. She did what she could and held back her tongue many times, all to appease those around her.

She was alone, but at least she could breathe.

Her fear of manipulation, rejection, and abandonment from others turned into a complex where even being around others made her want to puke. She hated the uncertainty of relationships and the destructive nature of tactless gossip.

"I want Kaori-chan…to be happy that she joined…."

How could she learn to put her trust in others again when all she knew was how to fall?

Michimiya reached over to pat Kaori's head. "Tee-heh, I'm sure everything will work out in time. We all just need to try our best together."