Chapter 16: Communion with Friends Pt I
Two Days After the Incident in the Market
A selected group of guards were sent to release Graham from the small cell behind the barracks next to the outlaw Tom Cade's while I was allowed to go home and let my wife know about the guest we were about to offer lodgings. The Constable said they would probably begin packing up Graham's possessions from his shack outside the wall before they released him, so I had some extra time as well. Unfortunately, I remembered to ask Dani if she was able to make an extra few portions for Mr. Mathers, Daniel the missionary, and anyone else who might tag along before I mentioned the guest situation.
I don't believe I intentionally left out the name of our guest, but Daniella almost didn't mind when I mentioned having Daniel and Mr. Mathers over for dinner. She was friends with and occasionally did some work with the people of Missions Coordination, and we'd had Daniel over for dinner several times in the past. She only asked if it was Daniel who would be staying with us, and I didn't have to say anything further as she immediately took on the assumption and expressed how his presence in the house would do wonders for Hannah and Joseph's enthusiasm about their studies. I decided not to correct her and say who our guest would really be. I didn't know what her reaction would be, so I decided to surprise her as well as myself.
I departed, and she said this was the perfect day to do those Brahmin steaks and smoked vegetables she got in bulk with the last shipment from the folks of Jude. It was only the late morning, and the kids were still at school, but the news of a guest staying with us and a nice dinner with friends had her immediately begin a thorough house cleaning while she set out the guest bedding on the couch and tried to get as much done as possible before getting an early start on dinner. She was happy to hear that I wouldn't be held late again by meetings, and was so excited to have friends over that she didn't even ask about the meeting's conclusions or ask for a reminder on what those meetings were even about. It warmed my heart to see my wife in such a jovial manner before I left, and although she was kept busy almost every day with garden tending, cleaning, preparing meals, sewing for half the neighborhood, laundry, women's groups, volunteering at numerous trades across town, picking up the kids, tutoring the kids, fetching the water, and so much more, she rarely had the opportunity to host friends for something as relaxing as a casual dinner.
Walking toward the other end of town, I passed one of the Constable's runners on my way to Graham's cell who said the guys clearing Graham's place could use an extra set of hands. I exited the gates into the market and passed my men who stood by our normal station beneath the east tower. I caught my men up briefly on what was happening and decided not to tell them who I was hosting as they were still evidently lively about this event of the day and that one. Not to mention their lingering enthusiasm about the notable event of days previously. They only asked me if this morning's most recent meeting was the final one, I told them I thought it was, and the boys remained duty-bound to keep their enthusiasm in check as they asked what was to come of "The Prisoner."
I didn't answer that, time would tell them, and perhaps they'd be able to put two and two together when I reentered the community with Graham's possessions in hand.
Meeting up with the crew in charge of moving Graham's possessions inside the community, I was surprised to see that me and the other six guardsmen could get it all in one go. The shack looked unchanged from the one I entered to overhear the words of Ms. Neil. The burned man had scarcely a single thing to his name, save for the items in those gift baskets and buckets that were left for his bedside upon arrival at Dr. Franklin's clinic. Of course, most of those baskets were lighter, and there was one full of wrappers of food items, but how he managed to make even these last for over two weeks was unknown. There it strangely occurred to me that there would have been one more gifted pail, if it hadn't played a crucial part in Graham's new living arrangements.
Once all was collected up, me and the other men headed for the gate, and went back inside as the guards of my detachment and the ones of the station opposite them were staring at what we had in hands. I told the crew to make for my house and leave the buckets beside the gate of my front yard or by the porch, and they departed while I made my way to the barracks and cells behind them.
Although it may not be necessary, I'll explain that the cells behind the barracks were not some large sector of the town. The cells were not part of any prison, but merely a collection of 8 identical 12ftx12ft concrete and metal structures along the east wall of our community's home. At the time of this event, I believe only four of the cells were inhabited, one by Tom Cade, one by Joshua Graham, and I don't remember who inhabited the others. The cells were small and looked rather ominous from the outside, but all had two small barred windows along the top of the front and rear sides, and each connected to the same air conditioning and heating unit. It wasn't often that we dealt with criminals from the outside or even inside the community, so the cells were almost never at capacity, but each one had a set a single set of bunk beds, a cushioned chair, a locker for clothes, a nightstand beside the bed, a toilet, and sink connected to the nearby cisterns for this part of town. Despite the two Bibles atop the night stands, there wasn't anything else in any of the cells, so they weren't the most horrible things in the world by the standards of almost any other community in the wastelands. Still, the cells were more of a locker room, or a place to rest between interviews with those in charge of their case, or a place to sleep when the prisoner wasn't working off their sentence in the community's servitude program.
I only mentioned the above in order to give an adequate picture of what happened when I motioned towards the guardsman outside the cell market "7" and he let me in. Graham sat upright atop the lower bunk while the Constable sat cooly and reclined in the armchair across from him. The two had scarcely noticed my arrival beyond the glances from both men as the door creaked open. Evidently, the two were engaged in a long discussion before my entrance and although I didn't catch much more than the concluding words, I figured the Constable was explaining what was decided in all those meetings. As the two concluded their talk, I stood silently by, noticing the Constable's face was still easing back to its normal cheery self after the gloom of the past two days of meetings. There I noticed Graham was more or less back to himself too (What little I knew of his casual "self"). Graham sat like a statue in what appeared to be that same pair of dusty and ripped light blue jeans, and if he still suffered from the beating of those wasters, it wasn't shown as he wore a fresh set of bandages over his entire body and head beneath a new loose white collared shirt. After maybe a minute, the two turned their heads to me for a second, stood up, and the Constable shook the burned man's hand as the latter let out a slight groan with the Constable's cheery word, "Agreed."
Turning to me, the Constable walked past me and touched my shoulder saying, "You got it from here, Paul?..." I nodded, he slapped my shoulder and exited with the words, "The Temple, and I will keep you updated."
Before taking my exit as well, the Burned Man stepped up to me, I shook his hand with a mind blank as he said in that deep, stern, and pained voice, "Lead the way, Lieutenant Young."
Beyond the initial introductions, and beyond what I was perhaps expecting at his arrival, my wife greeted the Burned Man warmly and even embraced him after asking if it would be too painful to do so. The man said he didn't mind, and after the introduction and short friendly banter, it was clear she had a lot of work to do before the kids got home and before dinner. The only thing I noticed even in the short introductory talk was her frequent glances at me that seemed to say something like, "You could have told me so I'd be ready." Still though, she took it well, and even though she was too busy to help when he and I moved his buckets of possessions inside. She truly seemed to have no issue with the whole thing, even when I said I wasn't sure how long the Constable would need him to stay with us, and even if those frequent glances continued well into dinner.
When dinner was served, my wife sat opposite from me at the other head of the table that night, enthusiastically engaging in the conversations with Daniel and Mr. Mathers while still silently darting her eyes almost worriedly from the wrapped man on her immediate right to me just before asking him kindly, something along the lines of "Would you like some more water, Mr. Graham?" The man would painfully choke down some of his dinner, stifling a scream from his scorched throat, the room would go silent, my wife's eyes would dart to me, and then everything would return to normal after he replied something like "No thank you, Ma'am. I appreciate the offer though."
It was like that almost all afternoon. My wife was friendly, but simply didn't have anything to say to the wrapped man beyond the kind of offers she'd extend to anyone we had over for a visit. She let him help when he asked to help her with something in the kitchen or asked to help her do a chore. She was also friendly, but of few words when he commented on something she and I were discussing in his polite way, but frankly, she never started any discussion or conversation with him. I couldn't tell if this understandable distance was because of the amount she had to do, if she was still frightened by him, or if it was a combination of those two things and probably others. But as I said, the lack of conversing between the two was easily understandable. What would a busy housewife even have to say to a man she'd only ever heard about in nightmare stories of war, slaughter, slavery, and most recently, a miraculous return to Christ after finding Him again in a ball of fire? Christ has a way of unifying even the most different of people, but a distance remained, she wasn't the only one to feel this way, and there will be more to say about that unity later.
For the most part, Graham stayed silent, especially when the children arrived later that afternoon, and then when Daniel and Mr. Mathers showed up. After the arrival of the others, and after the awkwardness about seeing who was joining the evening, Graham began to take on the presence of something like an interesting antique chair as opposed to a man: It'll catch your eye pretty frequently, but you aren't really going to go out of your way to chat with it unless you're crazy.
What I can say about everyone's reactions and attitudes towards such a guest could probably only really be shown well if I recount the dinner. This is especially since I believe the dinner and all the temperaments of the attendees captured what was in the minds of just about everyone in New Canaan after learning that Joshua Graham was formally here to stay.. and Inside the walls.
My son and youngest child sat across from Mr. Graham by his mom, and he couldn't turn his eyes away from the bandaged man. Almost forgetting to eat, Joseph was too focused on trying to catch a glimpse of the burned man's true form every time the bandages on his face were lowered for a bite.
Hannah sat beside me on my right, keeping one eye on Graham and one on the comic book beneath the table, needing a reminder every now and then to finish her plate. I only allowed the comic book at the table when the conversations between the adults became more adult-oriented.
Michelle sat beside me on my left, actively engaged in the stories and topics of Daniel and Mr. Mathers. She became particularly involved when Daniel started telling about his work on the various missions he'd undergone in the past year. Her first mission was still a few months away, but it was coming up, and her excitement was growing by the day, so she had all sorts of things to ask Daniel about. As this topic went on, she'd all but forgotten about the man on the other end of the table she was previously diverting half her focus towards. Many times she'd glanced towards me with a raised eyebrow, usually whenever Mr. Graham began that subtle choking sound, seeming to ask mentally if he was alright.
Throughout dinner, Mr. Mathers was frequently going between actively involved in the conversations and merriment to short moments of staring at Graham beside him, mouth agape, and seemingly ready to spill out a million questions he was keeping inside.
Both Daniel and Mr. Mathers were the prime sources of conversation throughout dinner. The two men of the Temple sect held very different roles in the community but were very good at casual discourse and had personalities that made them very good with the kids. Mr. Mathers, would talk to Joseph and Hannah about their studies, and always eager to talk to other grown ups, Joseph in particular would answer each question enthusiastically, almost hopping up and down in his seat before his eyes would go back to Graham. As I already said, Michelle was more than happy to have the two men over, and since she was almost a community-certified adult herself, joined in the laughing and interesting stories of the two men like a true socialite. I answered questions that came my way and had lots to say to the two about this and that, refraining from certain topics since there were children at the table, but I likely wasn't as engaged as I normally would have been if we didn't have the wrapped man sitting silently by my wife and occasionally stifling the pain of simply eating. I think all of us knew everyone else's minds weren't Completely involved like they would have been, but nobody dared to say anything to Graham. As I said about my wife, I think was true for us all: there just wasn't much to say.
And so, the evening was a blast. A dinner with men like Daniel and Mr. Mathers was always a delight to the entire family. The kids were having fun, Dani and I were having fun, and everything was wonderful as we all did a superb job at not talking about that enormous elephant in the room. Although I've only seen pictures of Elephants once or twice in my life amongst the pages of barely legible prewar books, I never quite understood that expression until there was one at my dinner table while I was with my family and friends.
As I may have alluded to, Daniel was the primary source of topics and conversations for the evening, going on and on and answering questions from Mr. Mathers and all of my family members about the missions. It was because of this liveliness in the spirit of my longtime friend of the missions corps that it was only him who seemingly hadn't even noticed Graham at all after the initial introductions. Just as I said above, everyone at the table appeared to have one eye on their food or who was talking and another on Mr. Graham, but Daniel seemed almost unaffected as we all laughed and shared and talked. Despite this fact, it was Daniel himself who first extended an invitation for my bandage-wrapped house guest to join the conversation. It just wasn't done in a way that I or perhaps even he would have done had he known better.
My eyes were going to Graham rather frequently as Daniel spoke. The missionary was talking to Michelle and all of us about his later work with the Sorrows tribe of Zion and that naturally led to a topic he mentioned to Mr. Mathers and I briefly at the Inn before I was called away to witness the event in the market. Daniel said to Michelle who'd asked the most recent question;
"… 'Dead Horses' that's who's been attacking the Sorrows every couple months or so. Them and the Children of the Canyon, but they aren't Too bad when they attack."
"That's awful," said Michelle with genuine sadness and fright in her voice, "… The Sorrows are so kind and sweet. I was talking to Josie and the fact a tribe like the Dead Horses would try to raid a people like them just breaks my heart."
"The Sorrows have been one of if not my most favorite tribe to work with in recent memory. Josie was right though, and I can tell you firsthand that she showed a kind of bravery I admittedly hadn't thought her capable of during some of the more…" he paused in search of the right word before saying "frightening... attacks."
"Josie said it's her 'momma bear' instinct…" said Michelle, causing everyone at the table to chuckle or smile.
"She wasn't kidding. Josie and her work with the kids of that tribe was beyond commendable. I hope the next one to visit the Sorrows picks up where she left off with them."
"Hopefully that will be me.." said my eldest daughter, "I told her I would love nothing more than to continue that program with the kids. I just pray Mr. Oakley will approve my request after Elder Rockwell has a chance to see it."
Daniel must have taken special note of the longing sound in her voice because he finished swallowing the bite he took and said to her with a look of assurance, "I can have a talk with both of them and see what I can do to help make that happen, Michelle."
Almost immediately, my daughter's face lit up as she said "Thank you so much, Daniel! I can't tell you how much I appreciate that…" Daniel nodded, and Michelle added, "… Hopefully the Dead Horses start to leave them alone by then as well…"
I mentally said that I would be praying that as well, and Daniel's tone became serious as the delight of making her happy cooled, "Just be careful when you get there, and know that the valley beyond the Narrows is still dangerous. The Zion valley itself is not as bad as other places in the wilderness, and even if the Dead Horses attacks are few and far between, a raid by a tribe like them is a very serious matter. They've been trained by the worst of them-"
Daniel immediately stopped what he was going to say, even if he'd already said it. His eyes remained on Michelle, but the eyes of everyone remained on Daniel as Michelle asked what everyone except me and Mr. Mathers, and Mr. Graham were thinking;
"Trained? War tribes get trainers? Haha" The laugh on the end died into silence. Although the second of silence was no more than just that, I swore that I saw the eyes of Daniel go straight to the answer to Michelle's question for only a fraction of a millisecond. Nobody else caught it, aside from maybe Mr. Mathers while Mr. Graham sat there like the statue he was so good at being.
Daniel lowered the glass of water from his lips and said to Michelle, "I just mean…" He lowered the glass further, mentally selecting what words he should say and what those words would mean to who as he finally said to the mission-eager young woman, "… Some tribes like picking on their neighbors, and sometimes those tribes reach out to ones who are the best at that for assistance…" The pause this time again might not have been more than a second, but it was here he admitted it with courtesy for All guests at my table, "… tribes like the Legion… Sometimes it's even the Legion's best who train the tribes…"
Graham had not moved one bit. He remained unchanged from his prior position. His plate sat clean, and his back straight, almost as if waiting to be excused.
At Daniel's explanation, Michelle just said, "Oh, ok." Appearing completely oblivious to the fact that one of the Legion's best, the man who personally trained the Dead Horses to raid tribes like the Sorrows, was right at the very table she sat at, and one chair past Mr. Mathers. Either she was oblivious, or she put the pieces together and refused to acknowledge further out of courtesy, but either way, the conversation took a different turn. Mr. Mathers went on about his work at the ranch outside of town, and I felt the conclusion of the Dead Horses topic was the moment something changed in Daniel.
It wasn't Truly observable, but I think the talk about the Dead Horses, and Mr. Graham's statue-like reaction showed Daniel that even though he might not have the ability to talk about Graham directly, he could perhaps get away with Alluding to Graham. Maybe he thought he could get away with similar statements more and more since it was known by everyone almost at the very start of the evening that he'd been away from New Canaan for nearly a full year without return. Being the man who's been away, it was understandable that he wanted to get caught up on things at home, and even though he knew much, he had only been back for two days at this point, and he already knew that his outsider view was the source of much of the evening's joy.
A man who'd been out and seen the world might be able to give a fresh set of eyes on topics of recent days, like the day of his return from mission and the events he hadn't gotten to witness himself from inside the Trinity Inn.
This must have led Daniel to eventually say, "… It appears there's a lot of unrest here at home these days. I'm saddened to hear about what happened in the market the day of my arrival."
Mr. Mathers, my wife, and I felt a strange uneasiness as we three said almost simultaneously, "Truly unfortunate."
I don't think I was the only one to say that with an allusion to the fact the topic should be left at that. Daniel seemingly didn't take the hint and went right along;
"… It truly is a sad time when something like a near riot could happen in the middle of broad daylight…"
His words felt alright for me supposing he was talking about the first incident where the refugees were turned violent by wasters in the mob demanding free things at a charitable event. But then Daniel clarified what and who he was referring to;
"… Mercy is a hard thing to offer in such a situation, and I know you and the guard did all you could, Paul…" Glancing at me as he said my name, he resumed, "… Still though, I heard one poor fool is still in Dr. Franklin's clinic outside the walls. The man has no ears anymore, almost no more teeth, and I hear he suffered such blows to the head that Dr. Franklin and her staff expect him to stay in an infantile state for the rest of his life…"
I felt my face heat up slightly, remembering Graham standing over the man who started the whole thing at the expense of his ears and mental well-being. There remained a chance that Daniel didn't know who exactly put the man of that description in such a state, but I felt as though he mentioned me and the guard's commendable job beforehand in order to say he wasn't talking about me or my men's actions in the second riot.
"… Lifelong damage for one mistake is a tragic thing. I hope the man recovers enough to take care of himself, if not, he might as well have just been killed." Said Daniel, causing a lingering silence.
I was aware of the condition of the waster Graham had punished over the course of those meetings about the incident. However, the topic was still a sore one amongst the guards when the members of the guards weren't celebrating the "badassness" of Graham's vicious display of mercy.
After a moment, my younger kids were still distracted, but everyone else save for Graham was looking to Daniel when I said at length, "The situation was complicated, Daniel. In the end, the violence was stopped, and the community will ensure that man gets the help he needs."
The missionary looked around the table, still not even appearing to notice Graham, and maybe he took my subdued reaction as a sign of agreement since he then added in a nearly lecturing tone;
"I know that's not the message we're sending to those who come to our gates: don't start anything or Someone will batter you into oblivion and shoot your ears off. Still, I wonder what the refugees out there will take home with them?"
Another dead silence ensued as Daniel's gaze went around the table. I saw the eyes of my wife go to Daniel with an expression that said, "Let's not talk about this anymore. The children don't need to hear about that either."
I was about to vocalize what my wife said with her face, but then I saw the wrapped head of Graham slowly turn to Daniel. When Daniel saw this, a brief look of shock appeared on his face when the words, "If you have something to say to me, you should say it to me directly, Daniel" came slowly, sternly, and politely out from behind the bandages like verbal knives.
Daniel's face colored, Hannah looked up from her comic below the table, and the eyes of everyone else went to Graham, not shocked, just taken aback by the thought of that statue finally speaking.
The eyes of Graham were dull between the wrappings and locked onto the face of Daniel who shifted in his chair uncomfortably to break the eye contact. Daniel's face colored further as the moment went on, and perhaps he felt he was caught in the act of something he felt he could get away with. Daniel straightened himself up further, collected his composure, and returned his gaze to Graham as he said full of seemingly genuine remorse;
"I'm sorry for not speaking about or to you directly Mr. Graham…"
The wrapped statue nodded cordially in acknowledgment of the apology and a sign of forgiveness while the eyes remained on Daniel, incapable of showing almost any emotion despite the wrappings.
At the gesture, Daniel added in a voice full of humility and serious resolution, "… I truly am glad that you have returned to us, and more importantly, to Christ. I almost wept for joy when I received the letter speaking of your arrival…"
Graham's head lowered slightly, looking either ashamed, or attempting to conceal some other emotion, and Daniel concluded his opinion on Graham's return with consideration of the past, and thoughts of the future, "… I'm just worried how things like that will reflect on how the tribes of the wilderness view us…" He paused, "… What I heard happened in the market, that was an injustice to you no question. But what happened there also shows me that your past of war and all that is still close behind you… I don't think I'm alone in feeling that way, and I know things like that don't just disappear. They affect you, and they'll show even after you're born anew."
Everyone at the table was silent for a long moment after that, and I think even the kids understood what Daniel laid forth. He was right, he wasn't alone in thinking that way. Graham's future in the community was still undecided and it wasn't known what that future would look like. But no matter how Daniel, me, or any other New Canaanite felt about what happened in the market that day, they all felt, even if they wouldn't admit it out loud, the conclusion I had arrived at, and the one Graham would speak after the silence ended. Graham raised his head back upright to meet the gaze of Daniel and said;
"But it's how the thing that follows me is used that defines me. As long as my eyes remain on Him, I will remain a mere tool in what happens."
