Chapter 24: Disciples of All the Nations
I must admit that when I was told to wait in the office for another interview, I was not expecting Joshua Graham to come through those doors. I recalled the look on the runner's face when he approached me at the end of muster, and it didn't make much sense even when the applicant came in, or after hearing the excitement outside. The door was closed, and I could hear the muffled chatter of all the day shift guardsmen waiting in line to get their shift weaponry from the armory, but didn't even think of it when I heard the strange silence or the uproar afterward. They weren't cheering, they weren't yelling, shouting, or anything like that, it just appeared like a whole bunch of questions were asked at once. When the man stepped through the doors, those muffled questions I couldn't decipher suddenly became clear as can be when they replayed in my mind, "What brings you here, Mr. Graham!?", "Look who's here?", "Come to say hello, Mr. Graham!?"
Perhaps the boys outside didn't know what to think when he entered the barracks, then the office, and when the door shut behind him. I was already stepping into the barracks by the time the muster was dismissed and doubted any of the guardsmen knew I was in there for an interview. Either way, there he was.
Joshua Graham stood across from me in worn brown cowboy boots, frayed jeans, and one of his old white shirts loosely tucked into his jeans, exposing that large belt buckle. He stared at me with every part of his body that would have otherwise shown skin covered in the familiar white cloth bandages, and those eyes were still as piercing and blue as the ones I saw that night he arrived.
Idiot me was not expecting him at all, and as much as he seemed to have a certain way with me, his arrival only made me say;
"How're you doing, Mr. Graham? I'd love to chat with you but I'm about to interview another candidate for the guard…"
He stared at me silently until I felt my words trail off. It sunk in just then and hit me like a brick before he said calmly and deeply,
"I'm here to join if you'll have me."
There simply isn't a lot to say about the interview. I hesitantly asked him all the questions I'd asked the others, and he answered them simply while my mind was firmly elsewhere. After all was done and he explained that his reasoning for joining was simply to give back to the community that accepted his return, there was another awkward moment of silence before he read the face I'd been making since he sat across from me. He asked flatly;
"You don't know if you're allowed to accept me into the guard or your detachment, do you?"
I could only nod my head, that was what I was thinking. Still, the question reminded me of another thought I had near the start of the interview, thus prompting me to ask,
"Who did you ask to request the interview?"
I wanted him to say, "The Constable gave me permission to interview and join," but instead he replied, "Just one of the Constable's runners I crossed paths with on my morning walk…"
He paused and must have seen the face I made at his answer because he added, "… I should speak to the Constable about it first?"
Again, I could only nod. There I thought of his first question at the end of the interview, "You don't know if you're allowed to accept me…" and that question was more than fitting. I didn't know if I was allowed to tell him "welcome aboard," and strangely enough, I didn't even know if that was something I wanted.
I thought of his arrival, the first time I landed eyes on him almost 4 months earlier, and then about the talk I had with him in Dr. Franklin's clinic, then the night in the Temple, the talk with Mrs. Neil, the warning from Cade, and then his display of brutal mercy in the middle of the market… Then I thought of the guardsmen. I thought of all their talk and enthusiasm for what had happened to that waster. I remembered the sight of all my comrades covered in their own bandages, the talk and speculation, the meetings with the Elders, the questions on duty over the weeks, and then I thought of his stay at my family's home. I thought of that first dinner with him, Mr. Mathers, and Daniel under our roof, and what he said at the end there:
He told us how he received approval from the Constable himself for later service in the guard. Regardless of how I felt about Joshua or his actions, I really couldn't tell you what I thought of the idea when it was sitting in front of me. All I could say to him in that moment was;
"At dinner, when you stayed with my family, you said the Constable approved of your offer to join the guard…" I hesitated, looking for more to add, something to take away from how I personally felt about his joining my detachment. Then I added, "… I must admit that I wasn't expecting the Constable to approve so soon."
The silence hovered between us, and I studied his wrapped face wishing his face was exposed like others that I was usually good at reading. After a moment, he nodded ever so slowly, and merely asked,
"Should I ask the Constable, or should you? I would greatly appreciate word from him whether or not that's a yes or a no."
Another silence ensued for this time a longer moment. Both of us were stuck in contemplation. Him wondering whether or not I would reach out to the Constable, myself still wondering how I truly felt about him or the idea of him joining the guard at all.
I felt his eyes on my person and looked up from the papers on the desk to meet them before my mouth said for me;
"I'll ask the Constable about it and get back to you."
"I will approve it. Who better for him to serve under than yourself, Paul? I'll admit that this is subject to change if the Elders disapprove, but provided he remains inside the walls, atop the towers, and not in the market grounds, I don't see much issue with it… Perhaps he can serve as a runner or something in town?"
The Elders originally declined when the Constable approached them about the idea of Graham serving in the guard. There was a lot to it, and the idea brought about another small series of meetings between himself and the leaders of the Temple Sect. I trained the other new men, or joined my men in the markets, waiting for the moment that a runner would approach and say my presence was needed, but that never happened. The Constable himself was the only person whose testimony was needed, and being one of the most loved men in the community regardless of sect or trade, he eventually got his way. I began wondering why the Constable was so insistent about it and distinctly remember one moment during the talk when I first approached the Constable about who I interviewed. He asked me at the end how I felt about the idea, and I remembered thinking a lot about it afterward. At the time, however, I answered him with a simple, "He is certainly qualified."
Still, I wondered why the Constable seemed to fight for him so much. In the end, the short version that brought the Elders around was the fact that he wouldn't be exposed to the population outside the walls, and the argument that he still had no place in the community.
The latter fact was more than true. Joshua Graham was more or less put in an empty unit of that housing block for single workmen just so the Elders didn't have to think about him anymore. Out of sight and out of mind. He became somewhat close with the workmen of that housing block, evidenced by the words of my new guardsmen and that evening I spent over at their home. However, Graham's condition and situation made it impossible for him to work the fields, construction, scav, restoration, sanitation, water, or really any trade in town. Being without a job or task to do creates idleness, and I think it was the idea that they were forcing the sin of idleness upon a redeemed man that ultimately made the Elders relent… That and probable fear of what an idle ex-warlord would do if his mind wasn't occupied in a fruitful manner.
Nearly 3 days after I interviewed Joshua Graham about placement in my guard detachment, the Constable walked up the steps of the tower my squad was assigned to with another in tow. Constable Hanshaw didn't need to introduce the boys to our newest man that late afternoon.
Joshua Graham was assigned to my detachment and the recruitment and replenishment was over at last. The next day, some of my men went across town to pull down the posters we put up, the training with the new men went on, Joshua was issued the equipment of a guardsman, and I decided it best to rearrange my squads to accommodate the new men and the burned one.
About 4 Weeks Later
This was a good setup. I moved John Langdon to take charge of the new men. They were done with their initial training by almost two full weeks, and were busy patrolling the markets for experience. There in the tower, I stood with a newly arranged squad atop the western tower. I hadn't really said much about my other squad leader, Chance Rhynes, or the men who'd been under his charge for over half a year but with the new arrangement, I was liking it.
Joining me atop the west tower were Chance, Logan Barnett, Nathan, and Joshua Graham. I was still absent one squad leader since I lost Gavin Salazar in the White Leg attack I mentioned last September. Because of that, I was usually taking charge of the boys occupying the east tower. During this time, I was going back and forth much more between my squads than I did previously. On this particular day, I was just checking up on Rhynes, after spending much time with John Langdon and the new men throughout each day. Despite focusing on the new men, I was still much better about checking in with the other squads these days, especially after the rearrangement. Most of the time I wasn't with John and the new men, I was normally taking personal charge of the leaderless squad consisting of Ramos, Carl, and two of the guys who used to be under Rhynes; Dean Parrish, and Oscar Savitt. This day's circumstance, however, had me leave the company of Ramos, Carl, Dean, and Oscar, and I was happy to be atop the west tower with Rhynes, Mr. Barnett, Mr. Graham, and Nathan.
I always really liked Nathan, and time spent with Chance and Mr. Barnett was always great, but I only left my regular boys in the east tower for a reason. And that reason wasn't just to check in with Mr. Graham… Mr. Graham was not only still an unknown or intrigue to the men of the guard, but he was also the only "new guardsman" who couldn't patrol the markets or do anything beyond the town walls, so he couldn't join Mr. Langdon and the others below.
As I stood looking out over the market in the late February cold, I followed John with my eyes as he led the new guardsmen around the market stalls, shacks, lean-tos, Trinity Inn, caravans lining the roads, etc until I lost them in the crowd and turned back to the conversation happening behind me while Mr. Barnett lay on the antimaterial rifle.
It was said I approached Mr. Rhynes' squad in the tower for a reason I hadn't uttered yet even though my mind was certainly already more than focused on that reason in the moment. Still, there was some time to kill, and losing Mr. Langdon and the new men in the crowds put me in desperate need of a distraction. Thankfully I had my distraction because of Nathan and the conversation he was having with Rhynes. I heard Nathan say to me just as I turned;
"… So Paul- er, Lt. Young? You hear back from the Constable regarding my petition?"
"And what petition is that?" said I before immediately remembering.
"Would you let it go, Nathaniel?" asked Logan Barnett, still staring out beyond the market through the lens of the rifle.
"All I'm sayin is that I don't think it's fair, you know?" said Nathan. Joshua stood in the far corner like the statue he was good at being, merely shifting his eyes between whoever spoke beneath the canopy above us.
Rhynes propped his feet up on the box with the radio atop it as his eyes rolled and he lifted his hat's visor. Chance Rhynes spoke what I was going to say, "This again, Nate? Why don't you ask him yourself, you know, Instead of us? Go ahead and tell him how you've been feeling."
Rhynes gestured to the corner, and Nathan adjusted the scoped .308 rifle resting on his hip as he leaned against the railing. He turned his head towards Graham, and a bead of sweat trickled down his face despite the cold when I urged him on, "Go on Nathan. Tell him how unfair you think his situation is."
Nathan raised his head again, puffed out his chest, and looked to Mr. Graham as the wrapped man's eyes went from Rhynes to me, then to Nathan. Nathan cleared his throat, met the silently waiting eyes of Graham, and spoke;
"… Mr. Graham, I didn't intend to express my feelings about your situation behind your back, but the lieutenant and Mr. Rhynes here insist on my being frank…"
Joshua Graham's gaze remained fixed on the face of Nathaniel as the latter resumed;
"… Now I know you've been through quite a lot, but I just don't think your being here the way you are is entirely fair for me and at least six others who signed my petition…"
I don't know if Graham was thinking the petition was about his presence amongst the guard, about his removal from the community, or something like that. All I know is that Nathan was intentionally creating the impression his petition was about something like that as he spoke. Either way, the eyes of Graham remained piercing the young man's soul when he finished expressing the cause for his petition of grievance with the former Legate;
"… I'm sure I speak for many other guardsmen when I say I don't think it's fair that you get to wear jeans every day on duty and we have to wear the black cargo pants and uniform all the time…"
Logan audibly stifled his laughter behind the barrel of that sniper rifle, Rhynes and I couldn't help but shake our heads, and Mr. Graham remained a silent statue as Nathan let loose a sigh as if he was just relieved of the heaviest burden. A momentary silence lingered, Graham's eyes pierced the young jokester further, and Nathan added still,
"… All my petition asks for is a casual Friday for the guard once a month. It just isn't fair you get to wear jeans every day while we have to wear the full uniform all the time. That ain't too much to ask, right!?..."
Logan turned his head back to say, "It's Wednesday anyway, Nathan!" to which Nathan only said, "Still."
Graham was normally willing enough to engage with the guardsmen, whether he was joining my normal group in the towers, or the squad under Rhynes. He usually had the odd word to say about this or that to whatever was talked about or whatever question was sent his way by the younger guardsmen. He was largely exempt from the training of the new men, and stood apart from the groups atop the tower when he wasn't acting the part of a messenger or manning the antimaterial rifle.
Apart from the normal training a new guardsman of the community was subject to, the man was also exempt from the traditional uniform requirements as well. This is what prompted Nathan to make his stupid petition for the Constable about getting a "Casual Friday" for the guard once per month. Nathan was literally the only one I knew to ever vocalize his concern about this matter that I knew of, and I was only able to imagine the other six who signed it did so as part of a joke.
And so, long after Nathan was done speaking, Joshua Graham continued to stare at Nathan, clad in some snakeskin boots, worn jeans, white longsleeve, black SLCPD guardsman vest, and without the optional cap of a traditional guardsman…
I never did hear why the Constable allowed him to join without the mandatory black boots and pants, but when I brought up Nate's petition in a chat with him a few days previously, the Constable only replied, "Nate's a fool." Most of us figured Graham's choice of apparel had something to do with his burnt skin condition, while others figured the Constable had more things to worry about than the uniform of the New Canaan Guard's "special case."
Long after Nathan finished speaking, the silence was finally broken when Joshua said lowly and seriously, "Hand me the petition and I will sign it for you, Nathan."
Nathan shouted his joy at this, and just before Rhynes or myself could warn Graham not to indulge Nate's sense of humor, someone came up the steps to the tower. Seeing it was none other than the Constable, the large man greeted the whole tower, asked how Mr. Graham was doing, and said to me;
"Figured you'd be up here, Paul. Thought I'd personally let you know that you can leave for the day. I will be attending as well so we can head to the ceremony together if you don't mind such a thing."
"That's wonderful, sir. Thank you so much," said I, seeing the confusing looks from Rhynes and Nate. Logan glanced back at me for the news and Graham remained in place before I spoke the news I originally came up to this tower to deliver;
"Boys, if you'll excuse me; I'll be leaving you under the care of Mr. Langdon and Rhynes for the rest of the day. I need to see to my daughter's departure ceremony…"
At the last word, the faces of Nathan and Rhynes twisted from confusion to happiness as they remembered what I'd been talking about the past two weeks on duty.
"That's right! Give Michelle my best, Paul," said Rhynes, followed by the others giving similar sentiments.
I blushed. As I stepped towards the Constable, and just before I let them all know that they were invited to my family's celebratory dinner that evening, Mr. Graham said the simple words, "I'll pray for her."
I think it was the way he said those words that stuck with me, but I didn't have time to think about it as I left them all with the invitation and proceeded down the steps with Constable Hanshaw. Graham didn't say, "I'll pray she has a safe journey," or "I pray she has a great experience on her first mission," or anything like what was common upon hearing that news. All he said was, "I'll pray for her" in that same emotionless deepness characteristic for him. I again didn't think much of that at the time, I was too excited to see my daughter on the proudest day of her life so far, and forgot about the words of Graham almost as soon as I stepped into the street with the Constable.
Constable Hanshaw and I walked down the road towards the town center silently for only a few moments before I remembered I was supposed to retrieve Michelle's gift on my way over. Stopping in the street, I said I had to make the quick detour, and why. The Constable said simply;
"No need for that, Paul. I passed Daniella on my way to the west tower. She told me to tell you just to go straight there… Suppose your words explains the little post box in her hands."
That was a relief, and so the Constable and I proceeded onward, passing another small residential block off the main street before reaching the final block marking the edge of the town's center. There weren't many in the streets at this time, everyone in town was busy working their trades. Beyond the distant tink of hammers working in the restorationist shops and smiths, the town was silent until we reached the open town center. Stepping into the open square, looking past the central fountain and towards the steps up to the Temple, I could immediately hear the faint noise of the choir singing somewhere in the Prayer Garden. That was where we were heading. As soon as I heard this, the Constable turned toward me as we continued along,
"You excited, Paul?"
I let the words hang for a moment, trying to make out the song beneath the wind before I answered, "… Just nervous… " I saw the face he made and corrected, "… Not Too nervous. It's just a big step, you know?"
"I do indeed know…" said the Constable, facing forward again with a smile just as we reached the fountain; "… I remember feeling how you're feeling now when you were about to go on mission that first time."
The memories hit me, and together we looked into the waters of the little fountain as we passed slowly by. I couldn't imagine at the time what he and Leslie must have been thinking at the time I first set out. I know I don't talk about it much, but the Constable and his wife essentially raised me from when I was just a boy. I don't even remember my parents even though I know how they died. Constable Hanshaw was the man I always considered my father, and if they felt for me half of what I feel for my daughter, it's almost too much. I gave a nod I knew he could see just as more of those memories returned to mind;
"… I just hope Michelle doesn't have an experience like mine… or ours."
This time the Constable nodded, and we stayed silent as we went up the steps toward the Temple.
It wasn't more than two weeks ago that Michelle finally turned 18. I was pretty busy and showed up to her celebration late since the new guards were still in the heat of their training. Donald Hansley was really struggling to do this takedown properly, and Licus was excellent with it. Mr. Langdon and I stayed a while past the shift just to work with the two and help Mr. Hansley get the hang of it before we could move on the next day. Needless to say, I showed up late for Michelle's 18th.
I walked through those doors after most of her friends had left. All the boys of her class had already left before they could be there for more than two hours, as per custom, but Michelle was having a wonderful time with Lora, Maya, Sarah, Pikana, and Mary. I knew there were others at her little party, but by the time I showed up, this was all there was. Michelle came over and kissed my cheek upon my arrival, only to immediately return where I saw that Dani too was having the time of her life with Michelle's friends. Approaching my wife's side, and when she wasn't engaged with the young women, I found out Michelle had already opened the gifted locket we'd gotten her for the birthday. There I saw Michelle was wearing it, and I embraced my wife tighter, thinking about those tiny words on the inside when you open it up:
"I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." Matthew 28:20
One by one, Michelle's friends left. When they were all gone, when Hannah and Joseph were returned to bed, and while Dani was reading to Joseph, I took Michelle aside. Michelle and I sat in the dim of the living room on that family couch where I then gave her my even more personal gift. I did for her what I said I would do in the beginning, and something that she had asked me about on so many occasions: I told her all about my own mission experience.
It isn't often I have deep one-on-one talks with my daughter Michelle, but whenever I have, it's been something of an exposure of my other self for her. During these few instances throughout her life, I reveal a side of me, and a side of our life that she would otherwise not be very able to know about. She was my first little girl, and it was because of that especially that I never really showed her the other side of me. To her I was "daddy" then "dad" then "father." She would only ever see me as the smiling man who came through the door at the end of the day and taught her about life on the sabbath days. As she grew up, she came to understand little by little that I was more than that. She would understand that there were reasons I spent my days atop a tower, patrolled the world outside, or left on trips into the world beyond the walls that simply "wasn't good" as far as she could understand. The night of her 18th birthday, it was my intention to answer a lot of those "Whys" she's had for so long. I told her what they didn't tell me in Mission Prep when I was growing up, and although she would tell me that Mission Prep has taken updated approaches since I was younger, I gave her an account of what I went through on my first mission. I told her all about what's out there, and why her dad does what he does for the guard…
I'm sorry to do this, but I will have to leave the details of my first mission again for another time.
In the end, she took it well, and I was very proud of how she seemed to handle it. What was even more admirable was how it didn't seem to do anything to diminish her spirits or attitude about the idea of missions when the fright of what I told her subsided by the passing moments. Remembering this, and how my little girl took the story of what's out there, I wondered what kind of girl I'd see at the departure ceremony just as both of my feet planted atop the last step up to the Temple.
The Constable and I started walking towards the left of those large doors into the Temple proper, the singing was much louder, and I thought of the last thing said. When I remembered the last thing the Constable and I talked about, we had reached the closed gate to the Prayer Garden around side, and the man said;
"Best wait a minute, Paul. We'll head on in when they aren't in the middle of something."
The Constable leaned against the wall beside the gate, and I joined him after a glance inside showed all the attendees sitting in chairs facing the central cross surrounded by the life of the garden. Another moment passed, the chorus went on beyond the wall, and the Constable looked at me. He must have seen some more recollection on my face because he smiled gently, and said in his calm manner;
"Quit worrying about it, Paul…" I dropped my expression, his words bringing me fresh life as he looked out at the fountain in the square, "… Michelle's a wonderful and smart girl, Paul. She'll be fine. The Mrs. and I have been praying she gets there and has a wonderful and safe experience like all the other young ones going out these days…"
The Constable went on, but after this, I didn't hear much else. I began to think again. I knew what he said was true, but for whatever reason, hearing what he said made me think of Graham. The Constable said that he and Leslie have been praying for Michelle's safe journey and a wonderful time like the rest of New Canaan's youth in recent months… I thought of Graham's simple departing words to me, "I'll pray for her" and began to wonder what that prayer would be like. I didn't know what he meant exactly, but somehow I think I did because almost immediately I began thinking of The Lord's Prayer;
Pray then like this:
"Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil…"
The Lord's Prayer does not guarantee an easy time. Prayer in itself, does not guarantee that all your wishes come true. God is not a genie who will promise you your every want and desire. Prayer does not promise you a million caps, to never get sick, or even promise a safe mission for your eldest daughter. The key words are to He Himself, "Your will be done." He will never push us to our temptations, but He will always deliver us from evil. One does not have to live long in this world to know how we will be confronted with lots of evil, but still, it is His will or His plan that we pray to get in line with… Even if His plan isn't in line with our own, and even if we make the mistake of doing something evil because of that.
The chorus had ended, and the Constable silently opened the gate for me to enter. Looking over the chairs before the podium in front of the cross, I found the back of my wife's head beside that of my younger children. I approached my family as the choir was still leaving their places behind the central cross but before I reached the empty chair beside my wife, the Constable tapped me on the shoulder and whispered;
"Find me after the ceremony, I have a new task I need you to carry out…" I was going to tell him to let me know about it now, but he gave me a shooing gesture as he said, "… Forgot to mention it on the walk here, but just enjoy the ceremony, and don't worry, it's nothing big." At this, I agreed and took my seat beside my wife in the crowd of other parents.
Joseph was staring at something on his hands beside Dani, but Hannah gave me a little wave that I returned as the head of Missions Coordination, Mr. Stan Oakley took to the makeshift pulpit in front of the central cross.
I followed the Constable as he made his way around the crowd towards the right-hand side of the pulpit where there was a small formation of 8 guardsmen. Most of the guardsmen looked like they were from the ranks of Lt. Herbein and Roth. The Constable took his place beside them.
On the left side of the pulpit were all the students of Michelle's class, 14 in total. Most of the girls I recognized from Michelle's party the other day, while the only boys I knew off the top of my head were Isaiah Albright, son of one of our more reputable traders. Speaking of which, it was then that I caught the back of his father's head about two rows right in front of me… This is only mentioned because that tradesman will be mentioned later... Anyway, the only other boys I recognized were Hector Beltz and Calvin Willett, both of whom were eagerly looking over the crowd of seated parents and loved ones until they saw and recognized me wearing the smirk of one who remembers them Very well.
Standing beside the group of young New Canaanites where the Constable was standing opposite, was Elder Rockwell, the official head of Missions Coordination for the Temple Sect. Then at some distance behind the Elder were men in the black clothes of Deacons from the Temple. I wasn't able to see the six faces behind the Elder from where they were standing, save for one, and I immediately remembered who else was involved in ceremonies like these. The face I saw behind the Elder was that of Daniel, my friend and one of a select few career missionaries. He looked uncomfortable in the black clothes of the Temple Sect for ceremonies like this.
Only a few seconds after taking the pulpit, my attention was brought to Mr. Oakley who thanked the choir, and then began with a short prayer for blessing of the ceremony. At the word "Amen," the ceremony began. Each child of the community was given a reading about their family history, a shortened testimony of their work for Christ, and any additional merits or notes about what they'd done for the community. The young men or women were brought up to his side where he embraced them, told them how proud he was, and then brought up one of the men behind Elder Rockwell.
Those men behind the Elder were to be the mission guides to these young people, and the first one brought up was none other than Daniel. After a short applause from all of us seated, the young woman beside Mr. Oakley, was formally introduced to Daniel, who was said to be her guide to the "Sevieri Peoples" of the southwestern wilderness. Mr. Oakley then introduced the next one to join them in their "journey to the peoples of that shore" was "Maya Lukinay."
It went on like this. Mr. Oakley brought up each young man or woman in pairs, with an introduction to the career missionary who would escort and accompany them to the designated tribe in between. Michelle was called 6th to join her friend Sarah Parsons headed by Mr. Padilla the missionary. Dani was wiping the tears from her eyes when Michelle's name was called, and I was more than proud to see her walk to Mr. Oakley and her friend with the confidence and posture of the woman she already was. Her face was very red as she embraced Mr. Oakley and then Sarah, and she stood beside them seemingly doing her best to conceal her elation. Not only was this the ceremony where she was now considered a woman with her first mission duty, but my friend Daniel had played the part he promised he would at that dinner all those weeks ago. Michelle's request at that notable dinner was permitted, she was going to the Sorrows tribe of the Zion Valley with one of her best friends.
After taking her place off to the side with the others who'd got their assignments and accolades, the ceremony went on until the last of the young people beside the Elder had been called up. Once all was over, and once the parents were ready to storm their children and embrace them, Mr. Oakley asked everyone to stand. Upon standing, the formation of new men and women of the community were arrayed before the little pulpit. Standing before the cross, surrounded by family, loved ones, friends, the greenery and flowers of the garden, and everyone who prepared them for this moment, Elder Rockwell took to the podium. The Elder stood before us all and opened the Bible before him as Mr. Oakley stood at his side, then the closing words were given with a direct reading from it:
"… These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing them, "Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And proclaim as you go, saying, 'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. Acquire no gold or silver or copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, or two tunics or sandals or a staff, for the laborer deserves his food. And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town.
Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles. When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes."
When the Word was read, the cheering began, and all the families ran to their prospective children. I couldn't hold Dani back if I wanted to, she immediately ran to Michelle, and the young ones followed their mom. I wanted to, but I felt I needed to have a moment to myself before approaching my daughter. I think really I just wanted to make sure I didn't cry in front of her. Either way, I didn't have much time to myself because after seeing Dani collide with Michelle, my eyes drifted to the Constable who was speaking to the men of the guard. Based on experience with this sort of ceremony, I knew he was assigning them as escorts to particular mission groups and laying out the instructions for such a thing. After a moment, I returned my attention back to Michelle who saw me through an opening in the crowd and waved at me as her mother was speaking to her. In just a moment, Michelle's eyes went from her mother to me again and I was struck by something powerful. The look on her face, and the little wave she gave me made me remember something from so long ago.
Michelle was maybe 5 at the time, and I had just returned from a time I was sent as an escort to a group of first-time missionaries. The details had been lost or buried by so much time, but I remember it didn't end well. The young men made it to their assigned tribe, but I lost a friend of mine doing it. Zachary Lloyd was his name. Just another young man of the guard who returned to the kingdom in what I felt was too soon. I remembered coming home, seeing my wife run out the door sobbing tears of mourning for the loss of Lloyd and tears of thankfulness that I was alright. It was as I embraced my wife, feeling her hot tears on the side of my face, smelling the fragrance of her disheveled hair, and fighting back my own tears that I saw little Michelle standing in that doorway. There in the light of the sunrise, I saw Michelle in the PJs I got her for Christmas, holding her toy bunny in one hand, and giving me that very same little wave that day as the one she was giving me in the present. Those green eyes on that day were the same as the ones looking at me during this departure ceremony… All grown up, but just as innocent.
That thought alone nearly made me explode into an embarrassing wreck as I waved back. Before I could lose control and run to embrace my daughter, Daniella gathered Michelle's attention back, and the Constable thankfully came to my rescue. The large man stood before me and without much else of an introduction, Constable Hanshaw threw a big arm around my shoulder, saying;
"Before you run off to your family, Paul, I want to apologize for not putting you on as an escort for Michelle. You know the rules about that though, ha…" I knew I couldn't serve as escort, the idea hadn't really even crossed my mind. Still, the Constable went along, "… Anyway, back to what I was hinting at before the ceremony; I just want to let you know you don't have to worry about a distraction while your daughter is headed out. I'd like you to get the new boys minus Graham some experience. So, I'm having you wrangle three of your fellas to set off with Albright Senior's caravan as escorts. Sound good?..."
The question wasn't necessary. I accepted the Constable's task out of duty to the new men and out of effort to keep my mind occupied after the departure of my eldest daughter.
Although it may have been somewhat misleading, the departure ceremony was just a name. The new young men and women of the community weren't setting off right then and there from the gates of the Prayer Garden. The departure for their first mission was actually to take place the next morning before the light of dawn. All the groups would set out in different directions, some going north, some south, some west, and some east. Each were going to different tribes across the Utah Wilderness who've asked for aid or assistance. Most of the tribes a group of first-timers was assigned to had already been vetted by the career missionary who would accompany them or a missionary that is picking up where another left off. The end of the ceremony in the garden only meant the resumption of celebrations until the next morning.
Some of the families didn't have plans for parties or tacked their plans onto that of another family. In our case, Dani decided to go all out for Michelle, and so Sarah Parsons and her family joined us in the walk to our home. The enthusiasm of the girls, and our two families truly was heart warming, and the night of celebration would be even more so before their departure into the Utah Wilderness.
Arriving at our home, the young women, and the children of our two families talked or played while me, Dani, and the other adults finished setting out the decorations and seating. Within the fence of our front yard we had set up two large tables, rekindled the fire pit, and the fun times were underway while the younger kids continued to laugh and play. Neighbors and friends would stop by to give their congratulations while the adults finished prepping the meal in the kitchen and our whole property was soon like a little block party on this side of town. This only increased when the workday ended, and the neighbors returned to their homes only to join what was happening at our place. Just before 6pm, the food was set out, and the whole thing was wonderful. Between the kids playing, the adults relaxing or talking to the young people, the spectacle reminded me of the other reason I had joined the guard.
Perhaps I don't talk about it as much as I should, but aside from me being terrified of what inhabits the world beyond the walls, I knew the biggest reason I was a member of the guard was because I absolutely loved everyone and everything within it. That love only solidified itself when I looked at events like the Christmas or Easter ceremonies involving the whole community, or small events like this that just involved a few of the families and a couple neighbors. However, as the party grew and then died with the arrival and departure of neighbors, I knew it was going to grow one more time when I saw Preston Lockwood of Doyle's Detachment show up with his wife.
The arrival of Preston Lockwood was somewhat expected, only because I knew he had married the Parsons family's eldest daughter… Apparently for a reason I won't get into again when I saw his wife's lovely face. Either way, his arrival made me realize it was a little past 6pm, and there were more people coming to give Michelle congratulations.
Most of the new guys stayed behind at the barracks despite being invited. I think this was only because I wasn't quite as familiar with them, or they still viewed me as their commander before anything else. However, literally everyone else in my detachment showed up at the house and joined in the festivity. Although the boys like Nathan, Oscar, Ramos, and Carl were disappointed the food was mostly gone, they all stuck around to at least socialize by the time evening had turned into night. By the time all my men had arrived and got themselves situated, it looked as though the Parsons and Young families were throwing a private party for the Guard.
After giving the congratulations to Michelle, the guardsmen mostly hung around the fire pit, giving their bizarre advice to the young women or talking to one another. Still, they were all more than respectful, kind, and beyond enjoyable company for the younger ones.
The little party still went on, and when some of the older members of the Parsons family left, the rest of the party congregated by the fire as things winded down. It was during this time and after a long day that I remembered the Constable's orders, and looking at all the boys around the fire, I thought of the Constable's words, "… So, I'm having you wrangle three of your fellas to set off with Albright Senior's caravan as escorts..."
I looked around the fire, studying each of the faces, and wondering who I wanted with me to help give the new men wasteland experience. I had already done a lot with John, Nathan, Ramos, and Carl in the past 6 months. With all of my guardsmen before me laughing and joking with the Parsons family and my own, I looked to the two young women about to leave. Michelle and Sarah, two innocent angels of the community we loved, sat engaged with one another in the presence of men who'd seen so much. The look on my daughter's face and the sound of her laughter as the flame flickered its light on all our faces made me look to my men again and think to myself;
"Any one of these men would go through Hell itself for faces and laughs like that."
I was not wrong, and Hell is the only word that comes close to describing what's out there.
