"Hello Arrow, welcome back from your trip."

"Thank you, Doctor Camaraon."

"Now how have you been doing?"

"Well, alright. I suppose. Me and Junia finally got together."

"Oh, good for you two. Thought you like him, considering on how you talked about him."

"Yeah, he took me out a few days ago."

"Well, dear don't spare me any juicy details."

"It wasn't really all that much, just dinner and a movie. Though we may have kissed by the end of the night."

"Oh, how exciting."

I smiled, nodded.

"How have you been sleeping?"

"Been easier."

"Still using the night light?"

Black bars. Shadows drenching this cell. I couldn't see. Noise, footsteps, fear.

"Yes."

"How's Zappy?"

"I do believe he'll help your daughter, Clan leader striker. People with trauma can be paired with parrots who have had similar experiences. They can become wonderful support animals."

"If you're certain about this doctor."

"He's alright."

"Still biting?"

"Not at me, other people living in my house are another story. I think he likes being an asshole to them."

"I am not surprised, he liked being the asshole to everyone at the sanctuary he was at before you took him in."

I hummed.

"It sounds like everything is going good for you."

"It is."

"Have you managed to show your scar?"

Metal pulling at my skin. I couldn't take it off. It was in me. They pressed a button. Zap! Pain, burning, pain.

"I wore an open back swim suit. And you can see my hair."

"Yes, I can. I know you what you have done isn't much, but it's a step. Maybe one day you'll be able to show it with pride. Because it is not the mark of a murderer, it is the brand of a survivor. Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"Anything else going on?"

"Well, I did take my first life."

"I…I know it's not easy, but I must remind you, we only kill in self-defense. It wasn't your fault."

"I know…but I did it. I bloodied the blade. All he did was drop to the floor."

Rapid footsteps. Panting breathes. A raised rifle…that didn't fire fast enough. The slash of a blade. The thump on the body falling to the ground. And the gurgle of a last breath.

"His life would have been much more difficult if he had seen you and lived. Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"Now, is that all that's bothered you? You sounded shaken up when you called."

"Well...uhm…I felt a heartbeat."

Boom! Crack! Bang! Beat, beat, beat, beat…in the back of my mind. Beating too fast to be breathing. I gasped and shivered.

"Truly? Well, then shouldn't you feel happy, after three years it's finally coming back."

"I don't know."

The beeping of a heart monitor. The lapping of a heal pool. The smell of tears and desperation in the air. The voices echoing, "We can't restore it. Whatever they have done to her, it's not physical."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I think it was a fluke."

"A fluke?"

"Yes."

"For three years, I felt nothing. Like my hydrokinesis was dead. Then out of the blue I felt my friends heart beat just for a moment. I thought I'd be happy but…"

"But…?"

"I don't…it was so small…I don't…"

"Look, why don't we start with what was happening when thought you felt they're heartbeat. Okay?"

"It was at the firework show."

I was watching the display. I didn't even notice that he'd left, until I felt a rapid beating in the back of my head, too fast to be breathing. I almost threw up. I didn't believe it.

"You believe there you felt a heartbeat?"

I nodded.

"Okay, what happened next."

"I went inside the house. Found him on the floor."

"On the floor?"

"The fireworks triggered him."

He was panicking. I knew what was happening as it had happened to me. All of his gasps rang throughout my brain.

"Then what happened?"

"His stomach got upset, so I took him to the bathroom. Cleaned him up."

Slowly the heartbeat vanished, as I calmed him down. I hoped I would feel the water when I turned on the faucet, but the glimpse into the world I once had was gone.

"Have you felt anything since?"

"No."

The ocean stood before me. Moon over head. Bare foot, sand between my toes. Waves washed over me. But I felt nothing. Nothing except for tears.

"How did that make you feel?"

"I…I…"

"Arrow? Are you happy about this?"

"I'm not sure."

"Not sure? So, you aren't happy about your powers returning?"

"I…I…Is it bad that I feel slightly relieved?"

"Relieved? How so? Do you fear what your capable of?"

"No."

"Arrow, I need you to think very hard about that. You were born as a four-point elemental, well known, but still rare and still very dangerous. After what happened I could understand that you would fear what power you hold, especially since the powers you lost were the ones…"

"It's not that. I've been trying to get them back for years, if I feared them would I be doing that?"

"Fair point. Then what is it? What makes you feel relieved that they might not be coming back? Do you not want them?"

"I want them, but sometimes I…Maybe, I don't think…that…"

"Deserve them? Arrow, you know you do deserve your gifts."

"But I don't. I don't deserve my powers. Not after…"

"Arrow, we've gone through this. What they did to you was not your fault."

"Then who's is it? I'm the one who exposed what I was."

A fountain. A small girl, with a large smile of awe. Parents screaming, "monster!". Confusion, panic, fear. The ground began to shake.

"I'm the one who didn't fight back."

Heavy, hot, caller around my neck. No, air. No, air. No, air. Armed truck. Armed men. The crashing of heavy doors. Pitch black darkness.

"I'm the one who got my…" I choked.

A distant scream. The heat of an explosion. The wailing of a child whose mother was lost.

"Dry your tears darling," she handed me a tissue.

"It just feels fair, that I lost half of my abilities, when I took away a family's mother. Do I deserve to have them back?"

"You need remember, Arrow, you were part of that family who lost their mother. You were hurting too. That guilt you feel is something you need to let go of."

"It's hard."

"I know. Now I know we're probably out of time, but I do think you should work on letting go of you guilt. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Do you know when you'll be deployed again?"

"In a few weeks."

"When do you get back."

"Sometime in early September."

"Alright, we'll schedule another appointment for then."


I walked out of the office and onto the street. I didn't really need to worry about getting hit by something. Nexus only had public transportation, so no cars or many sidewalks in general. The only thing that trekked these roads were people. It was the middle of the day, so most were out at work. Meaning the traffic, so to speak, was low.

The wind blew some of my hair into my face, and played with the skirts at my feet as I walked towards the transport station. I looked up at the sky, cloudy and layered with many shades of grey. I sighed; the weather today suited my mood. Though, it shouldn't be surprising to me, the weather teams had planned a storm for this afternoon. The sun had been harsh for the last week, so the crops needed this.

But with out the sun, the city didn't shine like it usually did. The sun helped hide the small, cracks, faults, imperfections, and problems that Nexus had. Sure, from the outside it looked perfect. We had little to no crime, there wasn't any homelessness, food was offered to the masses in times of crisis, but it wasn't perfect. Most of the population was orphans, the children we rescued. We would search tirelessly for a child's family when they came into our care, but sometimes they would truly be parentless, or worse their family didn't want them.

There was reason why we're called mutants. Because our powers are mutations, and sometimes it showed. Mutations, the word doesn't bring pretty images to mind. It brings thoughts of misshapen and sick creatures. And in some cases, we weren't so different from that truth. When powers emerged, you're changed forever and they will, and always will, be a part of you. But that isn't always a good thing, sometimes it destroys you.

Dad told me once, "'it's not the powers that makes a true mutant, it's what they do with them'".

It's cheesy, but true. He told me that when I was young, after I learned about what happened to Jenette in the system. I wanted to hurt them, the people outside. I wanted them to suffer. However, once I realized what dad's words truly meant. That if I used this gift, I was given to hurt people consciously, I wouldn't be any more of a hero than they were killers.

It had been confusing for a ten-year-old, but as I grew older, I understood it more and more. You can't be the defender if you attack first. You can't truly lead if you conquered. And you can't start a war just because of the power you wield.

No matter what gifts you were bestowed, you were no god, and you never would be.

Mutants. We don't know the reason why we're on this earth. We don't know if we're here to conquer, or to protect. Most likely we'll never know the reason as to why we exist. Whether the creators of the world, be it God, coincidence or some other force, wanted us here for a purpose or just were drunk out of their minds when they made us? It's a question that there will never be an answer too.

"Arrow!"

I raised my head an looked behind me. A small smile formed on my lips, as Junia ran up to me.

"I was going to walk you home, why weren't you still at the door step?"

"Sorry, Junia, I just needed a walk."

"That bad of an appointment?"

I nodded.

"Look if Doctor Camaraon…"

"Doctor Camaraon is doing her job. Getting me to talk about this is helping."

"I know, but don't you think a second opinion is worth going for?"

"You mean your opinion?" I raised a brow.

Junia blushed, "Well, my practice is always open…"

"Isn't an unspoken rule that you shouldn't date your therapist?"

Junia let of a small chuckle and shook his head, "Quick as a whip, aren't you?"

I smirked, "Shouldn't you know that?"

He laughed, "There it is once again."

He threaded his fingers in-between mine, as we walked along the street. In a complete comfortable silence, until Junia asked, "Did you tell her about the heartbeat?"

"Yeah."

"What did she say about it?"

"That my hesitance about this isn't a bad thing."

"It's not, Row. Its completely understandable that you'd doubt the miracle you've been blessed with at first. After three years your powers are coming back. The first blood born of Clan Leader Striker, against all odds, crawled out of the pits of shame and reclaimed her glory."

"This isn't a child's fairy tale, love."

"I know. It's the truth," he placed a peck on my cheek.

I blushed furiously, but eventually my cheeks returned to normal and my smile faded.

"Darling is something the matter?"

"I still wonder if I deserve a miracle."

"Row…"

"There are so many people on this isle, in world that need a miracle more than I do."

"Darling, you're always think of everyone else, that is why you deserve this more than everyone else."

He pulled me close, pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fluttered close, and I felt warm. I smiled when we pulled away.

"Come on," I murmured, "I need either some vegan ice-cream or French fries."

Junia chuckled, "I'll buy."

"That's an offer you may regret."


A/N:

Happy Easter!

This one was a little simpler, and I decide to swiched up the format a little. Let me know what you think of it!