The words in front of me were small, and not in a language I was very confident in. The squiggled symbols that were painted black on worn ivory pages, was a confusing mess of ink at times. I would skim, trip up, and lose track of my place constantly. The modest chandelier above me had a single faulty light that would flick on and off. However, I didn't stop. The Barnes family was known for two things: stubbornness, and dying young. I already failed at the second one, I won't fail the first. Especially if my life depended on it. Which was what everyone was telling me these days.

I sighed; my head hurt. I just wanted to sleep, but Nico was a strict teacher. Even now I could feel him watching me from the other room, making sure I wasn't goofing off. Not like I was actually awake enough to have fun at the moment.

"Bucky?"

Well, I might be present enough for a conversation. I looked up seeing Arrow approaching me. I smiled. It was her first night home after she was injured on her last mission. I tried not to let my eyes stray towards the bandages that were still covering her shoulder and arm. The Docs had tried their best but once the wounds healed, she'd have permeant scars where the acid bullets struck her flesh. Not that she minded. Mutants cherished scars; they saw them as beautiful and marks of great strength.

Arrow had changed over the past few months. I hadn't really noticed as she had rarely stayed at home for more than a few days before going on another mission, and of course her stay in the hospital. Though now that she was standing in front of me. I could see the differences. Her hair had grown back to shoulder length, and was rebleached and recolored. This time stunning heather purple streaks stood out from her naturally dark chocolate locks. It had been tied up in a royal blue scarf that night, matching the mask she chose to wear that evening. She had pierced her nose at some point. A ring of gold with a tiny design of a butterfly in blue gemstones was hanging off the outside of her left nostril. It was different, but she was still gorgeous.

"Hey, Row," I said.

"What are you doing?"

"Just some studying. Your uncle is evil by the way."

She chuckled, "Don't let him hear you say that, you'll be doing burpees for a month."

I snorted, "I'll be doing what?"

"It's like a push-up had a baby with a jumping-jack and it's pissed off."

I laughed, "Well that sounds awful."

"They are," She sighed looking towards the floor.

"Something wrong?"

"Bucky? Why are you doing this?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The trials? Don't think I don't know. You've become the main topic of gossip for the Phoenix Palace's maid staff."

"I have?" My eyebrows rose.

When Arrow had been released from the hospital early, it was an agreed she would finish her bedrest recovery in the Palace at the middle of Nexus. Christin believed she would heal better in their family wing (each clan leader had one to stay in for either emergencies, vacations, or just to live in. Though most had other homes). The phoenix palace, as it was apparently called, was fully staffed with guards, maid staff, and healers. So, if anything had happened Arrow would have been in good hands.

"Well, it's not every day a non-mutant, appeals to the Counseling for entry trials," Arrow stated bluntly.

"Ah, right," I said, nodding.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Row, everyone else has already told me this is a bad idea…"

"But you're stubborn?"

"Yeah."

"You aren't doing this for me are you?" She said after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"I get hurt. You decide you want to go get shot at again. Seems too close to not be connected," She walked over to the table, and sat down in the chair next to mine.

"I'll admit you getting hurt was part of it, but…I was honestly starting to go a little stir crazy. Believe me it's been great. Every minute, I thank God that it was you guys who found me. However, I can't sit and watch, while the people who saved my life and loved me like their own go and get themselves killed."

"I can understand that Bucky," She went quiet.

"Row, are you okay?"

"I just don't want to be the reason that someone I love is killed again," She couldn't look me in the eye.

I reach out and grabbed her hand, "Row, that won't happen," I smirked, "They'll have to catch me first."

She smiled, "Stubborn. That's the word to describe you."

"It's what my Pa called me," I sighed, and rubbed my eyes.

"To much reading?" Arrow raised a playful brow.

"Your language is hard on the eyes."

"Where are you? I'll give you a fresh set of eyes."


I stood in the middle of the forest. The dark shadows of night blenching the once green forest leaves into a blackened purple. I could hear the scuddling of leaves, from behind. I whirled around but wasn't fast enough. The blow was too fast for me to block, sending me flying back. I crashed into the dark brush. God, it felt so real.

"You should have been able to sense me," Nico said.

"Well, you aren't making it easy," I grumbled getting up.

"I had to make a noise in order for you to notice me. No true enemy will ever be that generous. They would have killed you without a second thought."

"You don't think I know that? I was in a warzone, and I saw what happened to Arrow. I think I know what I'm up against."

"Your pride will be the death of you boy. Your life will much easier if you admit that you don't know."

"Can we just set up the exercise again?"

"No, not until you understand what when wrong. Run me through what happened."

"I looked for you."

"Yes."

"I couldn't find you."

"Yes."

"Then I heard you…"

"No, I made myself known because you took too long."

I frowned, "And I wasn't fast enough to stop…"

"Wrong again. It's not that you weren't fast enough with blocking that's the issue. Even if you were. The mistake you made was missing where I was in the first place."

"It's not easy in the dark."

"Do you think any mission will be easy?"

"You're in my head! Anything I try you'll just see coming!"

"James, I can only effect and alter what you show me. I can't mine your consciousness for what I want. You're who giving away everything you're thinking."

"You're in my mind, where else am I supposed to think?"

"I'm not asking you to not think. I'm asking you to use your head. Let's start it from the top."

I didn't even get to say anything before Nico vanished back into the shadows of my mind. Use my head. How do I do that when he's in my head?

"Remember Barnes I can only see and hear what you show me!"

I sighed, trying to keep my head empty. However, I couldn't stop my thoughts and ended up getting knocked over my Nico at least three more times. The fake hallucination of dirt tasting surprisingly like the same thing. I all but growled as I picked myself up again. A heavy fog starting to roll in to the forest, making it even more difficult to see through darkness of the trees.

"What?" I spoke.

"Calm yourself Barnes, your emotions will cloud your judgement and mind. Making this task harder."

I took deep breath, and closed my eyes. Not like it was going to change much, I couldn't see him even with them open. Use my head. Use my head. What did that mean?! We were in my head! In my head. In my head. What did I feel? Well, I felt me. The ground beneath my feet. The breath in my lung. No. No. What did I feel in my head? Well, it was mostly empty…except for a buzzing in the back of my mind. That didn't feel right. It creeped and moved, like a bug crawling across your skin. That wasn't supposed to be there. It started to move faster, dashing towards…I whirled around.

A heavy clang rang through out the silent forest when my servo caught Nico's strike. I swallowed; my throat suddenly dry with shock.

Nico Smirked, "Well done," he said, before yanking my arm forward, and swinging his leg into my side with a round house kick.

I fell to the ground. Almost feeling the bruises settling on my ribs in real time. A low heavy groan dribbled out of me. I used to think I could take hits, but Nazis were nothing compared to the lick that Nico could give. When I finally opened my eyes, the forest was gone. I was once again on the training field.

"Get up," Nico said, "If you were in real combat, you'd be dead."

"Yeah, yeah, just making sure you haven't ruptured something."

"If you want to bleed internally, I will happily comply."

"No. Nope. I'm good!" I got to my feet.

"Good. You have taken the first step in order to combat enemies on the mental level. With time it should come naturally. You've done well for today."

"That mean we can take break?"

"No, of course. It just means that in the future we can start prepping the rest of you alongside this."


"I'm going to get you with the bubbles!" I said, a soapy scrub glove on my servo.

"No!" Black Sheep squealed with laughter as he squirmed around in the bathtub.

Out of all the parts of raising a toddler, I think my favorite is bath time. In the beginning, Black Sheep hated the farmhouse's minty green bath room. It took a lot of coxing to get him to go inside of the bathroom, and it had nearly been impossible to get into the bath tub. However, Christin quickly showed me how to get a young child to engage with a bath tub in a positive way, as he put it. This meant bubbles, bath toys and games. On tonight's roster was a mini version of tag with the lion scrubbing glove Christin let me use acting at it.

"Got ya!"

Black Sheep squealed again, before falling into a cascade of giggles. The little boy now covered in suds, and splashing the water around him. I started laughing with him.

"Alright, come on time to get out," I took a breath to calm my laugher. I took off the scrub glove, and reached for the towel behind me.

"Why?" Black Sheep said, sadly.

"Because it's bed time," I answered.

"Why?" Black Sheep said, as I picked him up and wrapped him in a dark green towel that had hood with a frog face.

"Because you need to sleep," I said.

"No, I don't. I's not sleepy."

"You will be tomorrow if you don't go to bed, and tomorrow Kate is taking you, Shawnen and Sable to the trampoline park on Nexus after your lessons."

"Can Baco come?"

"Not tomorrow buddy, but I'll join next time," I ruffled his wet hair.

I carried Black Sheep, from the bathroom and into the nursey. I winced when Black Sheep accidentally bumped my definitely bruised ribs with his foot, but I didn't say anything. Setting the child down in front of his dresser, and letting him pick out his pajamas for the night.

"Why no come?" Black Sheep said as I helped him pull his shirt over his head.

"I have to train with Nico again."

"Why?"

"Well, I to train so I can learn how to do something."

"Why?"

"So, I can get a job and start working."

"Why?"

"So I can help out around her a little more," And hopefully get a paycheck, because I doubt I can live on Christin's dime forever.

"What you...g-gonna do?" I put him in his tiny race-car bed.

"Uhm… you know how Arrow goes on missions?" I said tucking him in.

Black Sheep nodded.

"Well, Mr. Nico is training me so I can go on missions."

"NO!"

Black Sheep jumped up and began to cling to me. His tiny fists were grasping my shirt, and his face buried in my shoulder. I could feel him shaking and my shirt slowly began to dampen with his salty tears. I quickly wrapped my own arms around him, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"Whoa, hey, hey. What's wrong, buddy?" I spoke.

"NO!"

"No what?"

"NO Baco! No go missions!"

I felt my brows furrow, and I pulled back to look at his face, tear tracks now evident, "You don't want me to go on missions?"

He nodded, his whole body shaking.

"Why don't you want me to go on missions?"

Black sheep hiccupped and began to stumble through his words, "Baco go on mission, and, and get hurt! Like Awow! Or, or, not, not come back! Like Steve!" He started crying again.

I immediately pulled him back into a hug, and re-adjusted myself so he could sit on my lap. God those words that he said felt like a knife to the heart. I hadn't even thought that Black Sheep might not take this all that well. The kid was smarter than most would take him for. I should've known he might start thinking I was going to die like Steve did. I rubbed his back and hugged him close.

"Shh, shh, It's okay. I'll be okay."

Black Sheep whimpered and shook his head.

"I-I know it's scary, but I'll be okay."

"NO! Baco go, and not come back!"

"Black Sheep look at me."

He picked up his head and his black eyes sparkling with tears.

"I know it sounds scary. Me going on missions, but I need to do this. You know how I told you Steve was fighting bad guys?"

He nodded, sniffling.

"Well, there are still a bunch of bad guys out there and I need to stop them. You know why?"

Black Sheep shook his head.

I brushed his hair out of his face, "Because they're hurting people, and those people can't help themselves. So, I have to save them."

"Like Steve?"

"Yeah, buddy like Steve, but I want you to remember that I will do everything to come back from a mission to you."

"Ewerything?"

"Everything."

"Pwomise."

I hugged him, "I promise."

I just hoped I wasn't lying.


A/N:

Well, I'm exhausted. Dual enrollment sucks. Sorry, this took so long. Happy Halloween. At least I got this out and posted before the trick-or-treaters rush in. Have a fun time everyone.