~FIREFLY KNIGHTS~
Bleach Copyright Tite Kubo
Firefly Knights Copyright Illand Girl
'For those that need a Guardian.'
Chapter 9: If We Stop The Pendulum
My head felt like someone had taken a hammer to it.
The room was dark and unfamiliar when I woke up, but my head hurt too much to really focus on these things. I groaned, rolling sideways and curling into a ball. My chest ached as though I'd been run over by a truck... twice.
"Dear god kill me." I cried, trying to alleviate the pain in my skull. No relief was granted though as I covered my face with the light blanket.
A door slid open behind me.
"Huh? Hey! You're awake!" A loud, boyish voice rang in my ears and made the migraine significantly worse. A high-pitched whine escaped my throat in protest as his footsteps thundered away. Heavy footsteps returned to my room with the smaller ones following. They arrived next to me, and I poked an eye out of my curled ball, seeing a blurry foot and knee as someone knelt beside me.
"I advise you take this medicine, or the headaches will persist." I watched as a dark hand with two small white tablets was held out in front of me. I groaned, my hand reaching out to grab them, but the limb was shaky and it took two tries to finally clasp them in my fingertips. I dry swallowed them before huddling back into a ball as pathetic whimpers slipped from my mouth.
It only occurred to me afterwards how foolish it was to take drugs from god knows who.
But if it got rid of this headache...
The man stood and left the room, saying nothing as he went, but I could hear muffled voices on the other side. I closed my eyes and willed myself back to sleep. It took a while, but eventually I did slip off into a peaceful slumber.
I wasn't sure how much time passed, but when I woke again, the room was a bit brighter. My head was still sore but not pounding any longer. Tentatively, I sat up and looked around. A small window sat in one corner, allowing light to softly filter in. I frowned, wondering what was going on and where I was.
The door to the room was left slightly ajar, and as I looked over I could see a small black cat sitting in the frame. It stared at me, eyes watchful and observing. I moaned under my breath, still stiff like I'd been chucked through a meat grinder. It's ear twitched before it stood to saunter off to who knows where. I decided it would be a good idea to get up, and slowly made it to my feet on shaky legs.
Outside of that small room I found myself in some sort of shop. A few rows of items lined the walls and centre aisle, while another door that seemed to open to outside was at the other end.
"Where am I?" I thought out loud.
"Oh good, you're awake."
I turned slowly, not risking another migraine, and saw a tall blond with that black cat on his shoulder. I stared for a second, not fully comprehending what was going on.
"Sorry, but uh... who are you?" I asked dumbly, still bleary from sleep. The man watched me from beneath a wide brimmed hat, shadowing half his face and making it difficult to watch his eyes.
"Oh me? I'm Kisuke Urahara. The owner of this shop you're standing in." He said casually, watching me as much as I watched him.
"Right, you wouldn't happen to know how I got here, would you?" I asked, rubbing the side of my temple. That seemed to pique his curiosity.
"Hm? You mean you don't remember?" He asked, glancing at the cat on his shoulder before locking eyes with me again. "I thought we cleaned up the mess in your head for sure."
If timing was ever a sign that the universe was listening, this would've been it. As he spoke, I could feel the fog of my brain clearing.
Memories and images flashed, some rushing to the surface. I groaned, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes and trying not to let that migraine happen again.
"Ah, yeah, memory replacements can't be continuously used on a subject, they'll eventually cause relapses and concussion symptoms. It's completely normal to have a small headache after the memories are returned as well." Kisuke said as though speaking about the weather.
"Small headache," I scoffed, feeling a touch insulted. When I removed my hands from my face, I sighed. "I... I still don't know how I got here."
"Mm, but you remember what happened yesterday?" He asked slowly. I thought about it, then remembered the bizarre half dream of being outside my body, of saving Ichigo, and the immense beast that had appeared from nowhere. What's more, the desire to kill, the fatigue that kept me from fully reaching that ambition, and the blood on my hands as I murdered those monsters without batting an eye.
"That wasn't a dream, was it?" It was rhetorical, and Kisuke just watched me.
"Do you want to pretend it was?" He asked, making me pause.
Ichigo had been a part of this, this whole time? It must've started around the night we were attacked by that monster when I stayed at his house. We almost died, and what's worse, Ichigo had tried so hard to keep me out of it. This must've been why he wouldn't say anything to me.
And yet I couldn't help but feel upset at the entire situation. Because the moment Rukia fucking Kuchiki appeared in our lives it went to shit. I scowled at the mere thought of her.
"No." I said, looking back to him. "It was real."
Kisuke stayed quiet, then a small smirk appeared on his face.
"Interesting choice of words," he pulled a fan from his robes, hiding his face behind it. "I'll admit, you've got more bravery than I expected."
It somehow felt like an insult.
"That being said, are you sure you don't want it to be a bad dream?" He sounded coy, like he was digging for something. I frowned, turning slightly in distrust.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked carefully. Kisuke was silent for a moment.
"I could, theoretically, pull back the curtain for you. Explain what's been going on. Perhaps shed some more light on what is happening. Even tell you what Rukia Kuchiki did to Ichigo." That got my attention. Kisuke knew exactly what to say there.
"However, there are consequences. You might not like what I have to say. In fact, I think you would hate it. You might even loath the day I told you." He said, closing his fan with a snap.
"But it could all just be a bad dream. I'm certain that Ichigo will be just fine without you," he hesitated, then grinned. "Well more or less. I don't know if he'd hold the same sentiment, granted he might try to kill me for telling you."
This guy...
"Urahara," I began, but his didn't let me continue as he made a shooing motion.
"Don't worry about it. Why don't you run off to school and make a decision for yourself? Think about it, I'll give you a few days to think it over." He urged, practically tossing me out the door.
I did choose to leave the shop after collecting my things, and found it wasn't very far from my apartment at all. Just a few blocks, surprisingly. The sun was rising with me as I arrived at my home. Everything was just as I had left it. I went through my bag and found my phone was dead, so I plugged it in before hunting down some food and some Tylenol.
While I continued on with a menial morning routine, my mind was completely fogged with memories of the past few months, and more importantly, Kisuke's offer to 'pull back the curtain' and tell the truth.
Who was that guy anyway? And why did he look so familiar to me? Perhaps I'd seen him a few times before when I had my memory altered. Maybe there were still gaps that I couldn't remember? I should've asked him, but my head still hurt and I didn't want to tempt a migraine at this point.
Halfway through my morning routine, I checked my phone. Ichigo had sent a bunch of texts asking to talk, saying he was worried. Did he see me yesterday? I didn't think we spoke, other than the moment I stepped on his sword I don't think we even interacted while I was out of my body.
My body...
I looked down at myself, seeing the same pale skin, my soft black hair drifting in waves over my shoulders and down to my mid torso. My fingernails had chipped paint and were a little dry from the weather, I had faint tan lines on my arms from wearing T-shirts. It was the same body I'd always remembered, with thin arms and stronger legs. I would've written yesterday off as a dream if Kisuke hadn't mentioned it. It seemed surreal, and the fact that I- with a sword I didn't know I had- had sliced that monster in half with a single swing.
I clenched my fists, spooking at my phone ringing afterwards.
"Hello-"
"NAAAOOOMIIIIII!" Isshin screamed from the other end. I pulled the phone all the way back as he wailed. "WE WERE SO WORRIED! THAT NO GOOD SON OF MINE HASN'T VISITED YOU IN DAYS AND YOU JUST VANISHED OUT OF NOWHERE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
Guess Ichigo hadn't seen me yesterday...
"Sorry, I- I didn't mean to worry you all. Something came up with my mom..." I lied, and it would've been a horribly unconvincing lie if Ichigo was listening. But Isshin lapped it up like a cat with warm milk. He cried some more, demanding I come over for dinner soon, and that I didn't need to worry about my job at the clinic. My chest hurt as I realized I had all but skirted my job and was not fired. I deserved to be for just bailing like that.
With a heavy heart, I figured school needed to be a priority again. So I turned and made my way to the door.
"I could, theoretically, pull back the curtain for you."
I hesitated, thinking back to that moment behind the school when I squared off with Rukia.
"Even tell you what Rukia Kuchiki did to Ichigo."
That confirmed my suspicions. Rukia had been the start of all this.
Ichigo wasn't sure how he was going to talk to Naomi without her blowing up at him.
When he had come to yesterday, he was in his room. Rukia had informed him that after he fought the menos it ran away, and all three of them had collapsed from exhaustion. Rukia had woken first and dragged his ass back home. However, when he asked about who it was that stopped his sword from breaking down, Rukia couldn't recall the event.
Still, Ichigo felt like he recognized that person. They were wearing familiar purple stockings.
What was more bizarre was the distant attitude Rukia had adopted. She evaded him, rushing to head to school earlier than normal as she skipped breakfast. Maybe it was a blessing, since he had texted Naomi for the tenth time in three days. He was beginning to get embarrassed by the lack of answer. There were only so many times he could go by her apartment to check in on her. Granted, he hadn't been by since two days ago when she suddenly chose not to show up to school. It felt a bit creepy to do so, but considering the danger magnet that she could be it felt justified.
Whatever was going on with her was her business, but considering her insistence on knowing what was happening with him? He wasn't sure how to feel about that.
When Ichigo went downstairs, checking his texts to find no new messages from Naomi, he overheard his father talking with said girl over the phone. It was impossible to mix up who it was since his father screamed her name every few minutes.
Karin and Yuzu sat at the table, with Karin glaring at her dad.
"With how he talks to her you'd think we've been replaced." She muttered around a piece of toast. Yuzu puffed her cheeks.
"Don't talk like that! We all miss Naomi, she hasn't been here in over a week!" Yuzu said, looking sad. It had been a while since Naomi was around, and Ichigo hadn't studied with her in almost a two weeks. Part of that was to keep Kon away from her, since he made every effort to turn into a creep when she was mentioned.
"Did you two have a fight or something?" Karin asked Ichigo as he grabbed his breakfast from the plate and scooped it onto a piece of toast. Ichigo ignored her, not sure what to say. Were they fighting? He thought he smoothed it over well enough last time.
"Why would you say that Karin!" Yuzu cried. Karin shrugged.
"It's just that Naomi used to come for dinner every night, but now she's avoiding us like the plague." She mused. Isshin hung up the phone and looked at his son like he was ready to murder him.
"Ichigoooooo! You better not have caused our lovely Naomi to run away from us! I will have a third daughter and there is nothing you can do to stop it!" Isshin looked like he was lighting himself on fire with the look in his eyes and the flames around him. Karin scowled.
"Maybe it's not Ichigo she's avoiding, just our creepy old man." Karin said bluntly. Isshin's flames was dampened. He looked like a kicked puppy out of nowhere.
"How could my own child say that about me? I'm a dashing and loving parent! Right Misaki?!" He spun, running to the giant poster of their late mother. Ichigo finished collecting his breakfast and went to the door.
At school, he was surprised to see Naomi sitting quietly at her desk. She was completely zoned out despite Tatsuki and Orihime sitting next to her talking. He walked up to her, but she still stared off into the distance long after his approach. Tatsuki and Orihime noticed, pausing their conversation to turn and face him.
"Hey, Nao." He said gently, noticing how she jumped when he said her name. She looked startled, staring up at him. He always liked how soft and round her eyes were, especially the rich indigo colouring. But once Naomi recognized that it was him, she simply nodded.
"Hi."
She looked down immediately, not saying anything more. If anything, it just pissed him off. Tick marks appeared on his head.
That little...!
"Hey," he put a hand on the top of her head and gently pushed down. She ducked a bit, hunching forward. "That's not how you greet someone when you've been ignoring me for three days!"
She didn't react, at least not the way he expected. Normally Naomi would've yanked his hand off and shouted back about how he was the one being a drama queen and maybe thrown in a teasing few words. However, Naomi just grabbed his hand and yanked it off her head before looking away.
"I think Rukia's calling you, you should go talk to her," she said, surprising Ichigo. He definitely hadn't heard her yelling for him, though she wasn't in class right now.
"What? The hell you talking about?" He asked, frowning. Naomi refused to look at him, staring at her desk as she put her head in the palm of her hand.
"Isn't that where you always go? Running off with Rukia? You'd think you guys were best friends or something." The tone she used stung him. He flinched, noticing how scathing her voice had become.
"What's with you?" He asked, unsure how to approach things. Normally when Naomi was mad he just gave her space and time, but it'd been three days and she looked angrier than the last time he saw her. The black haired girl sat quietly, saying nothing for a moment.
"I've just got a lot on my mind," she said cryptically. He wanted to ask questions, but none other than Rukia called him from the doorway. He turned to look and heard Naomi mumble under her breath. "Hmph, figures."
He bristled, not liking her implications, but he was stuck between a rock and a hard place with this.
Naomi's attitude didn't change through out the day. He'd left twice to deal with Hollows, and normally when he returned Naomi would at least be staring suspiciously at him. He'd felt guilty before, wanting to tell her everything, but every time he had a chance he reminded himself that she wouldn't hesitate to jump in front of him and take the brunt of his fights for him.
No, he couldn't let that happen.
During gym, Naomi was standing off to the side of the field staring into nothing. It would've been comical if she wasn't in such a shit mood. The short girl was so spaced out that a soccer ball batted by Orihime almost took out her face. Ichigo turned to make a weak attempt to help, but Chad was closest and caught the ball barely a foot from her face.
A second later and Nao finally realized what happened and jumped.
"Ah, th-thanks Chad." She muttered, looking shyly up to the giant. Ichigo watched the interaction from across the yard. Naomi smiled at Chad, but it didn't reach her eyes as the giant nodded before walking away.
"Ooooohhhh Ichigo's checking out Naomi~!" Keigo teased over his shoulder. Ichigo rolled his eyes, feeling his friend hanging off his shoulder.
"C'mon, that's not it at all." Ichigo insisted. Mizuiro sidled up to them.
"I'd have to agree, she's way out of your league." He said as though talking about the weather. Ichigo grumbled, shoving the soccer ball he'd been holding into Keigo's face.
"Knock it off already! I wasn't looking!" He shouted, but Mizuiro shrugged.
"Hey you're not the first guy. I mean, with you not hanging around her all the time, people talk. Someone might ask her out." His smaller friend stated. Ichigo ignored him, going to pick up some other soccer balls and tossing them in the bin.
"Then that's her right. She's her own person." Ichigo said with a strong indifference. Keigo laughed.
"So you're telling me if Naomi got a boyfriend you'd be totally fine with that?" Keigo teased. Ichigo continued to clean up, ignoring them.
"Probably." He said, ignoring the pit in his gut. As they said, it was just how things were. They were childhood friends, and Nao saw him as a bratty brother. She was basically an overprotective big sister. Even when they were small, and things hadn't really changed since then.
He glanced across the way and watched Naomi briefly. She brushed her long hair up into a ponytail, showing the back of her neck. He stared briefly before huffing a big breath and turning away.
Yup. None of his business.
Uryū showed up late to class covered in a lot of bandages.
My memory of him from yesterday was foggy. I remembered him on the ground, I remembered him having a different smell, but while he smelled strange he didn't have the same overbearing scent like Ichigo did.
For most of the morning I had been completely checked out, staring at the beyond of wherever I was standing to the point that Tatsuki was getting worried I had a concussion.
"Where've you been all week? You never skip school." She asked as we stood for lunch. I glanced away, noticing Ichigo's back straighten as if he was alert and listening. I pursed my lips.
"I was just... I have some things I'm dealing with for my mom." I lied, not mentioning anymore. Tatsuki and Orihime watched me.
"Oh yeah, you mentioned you're living alone right now?" Tatsuki said. I nodded, biting my lower lip.
"I was thinking of going to visit her, actually. We haven't spoken in a while though." I wasn't entirely lying. I wanted to ask my mom about everything that had been happening lately. I wanted to know if she knew about everything that was going on.
Did she know what was happening to me? Maybe that was why we drifted apart? I had so many questions and no answers.
"Sakurai," I paused, turning to see Uryū approaching me. He pushed his glasses up his nose and stared me down. "Let's eat lunch together."
It went dead silent in the room. Behind Uryū, I could see Ichigo staring bug-eyed at us. I blinked twice, surprised, before stiffly nodding.
"Uh- sure?" Uryū nodded, gesturing for me to follow. I waved goodbye to Tatsuki and Orihime, hearing faint whispers from my orange haired girl as I left with Uryū.
We ended up sitting up on the roof off to the side. A few other groups were up here but nobody was close to us. I sat a polite distance from Uryū, unloading the meal I bought today since I completely forgot to make a lunch for myself.
"I apologize if I startled you earlier," Uryū said calmly. I looked up at him, surprised. "You seemed a bit out of it. I wanted to ask if it had anything to do with something that happened yesterday."
It wasn't a question, he was testing to see if I knew anything different than the last time we spoke.
"Considering the last time we spoke you spent the entire time trying to get under my skin, and failing mind you, I think it's funny if you were uh- worried about me." I said before taking a bite of my rice ball. Uryū let out a small chuckle.
"Seems I did get under your skin if you're still thinking about it," he said casually, eyeing me across the way. I frowned, watching him.
"Why did you want to talk to me Ishida?" I asked, eyes narrowing. Uryū pushed his glasses up again.
"If I'm completely honest, I just didn't want to have lunch with Kurosaki. He asked me right before I asked you, and I figured it would get under his skin." He admitted so calmly I almost didn't want to believe him. I stared for a moment while he silently ate his food, before the corner of my mouth curved up hesitantly.
It was kinda funny...
"You must hold Ichigo in high regard if you're that eager to get under his skin." I teased. Uryū scoffed.
"Hardly." He muttered. It dawned on me then that Uryū also knew what was happening with Ichigo. I clenched my rice ball tighter before glaring at it.
"I do find it funny, I've spent so long trying to figure out what's happening. What were those monsters yesterday, and yet here you are knowing everything already." As I spoke, Uryū startled.
"What happened yesterday?" He asked carefully. I looked at him with a raised brow.
"The giant thing?" His eyes widened. "It's a bit foggy, but I do remember killing some of those monsters, and then I stepped on Ichigo's blade and sliced the giant-"
"Wait- hold on! You were the one to kill the menos?!" He looked startled, the gears behind his eyes turning. I huffed, looking to his bandaged hands.
"Yeah, it was weird. It was like I was me but not in control. I was thinking, and wanting to do things, but I felt like- like a passenger. I was also not in my body so it was a weird feeling."
I looked back up and was startled to find Uryū looked completely vacant...
I think I broke him...
"Uh... you okay?" I asked. It seemed to snap him out as he adjusted his glasses and looked away.
"Yeah, fine," he definitely wasn't. "This doesn't make a lot of sense though."
"How so?" I asked, startling when long white ribbons came from the ground suddenly. I looked around us to find hundreds just floating in the air.
"Highly spiritual beings give off a spiritual pressure. These can be manifested as spirit ribbons." Uryū began, reaching out to grab one. I looked from it to his face. "As such, you can detect them. For example, this is mine."
I stared at it again.
"So what? Why doesn't this make sense for you?" I asked, to which Uryū watched me for a moment.
"I can't detect spiritual pressure of any kind from you. Not a thing," he paused, then continued. "In fact, when I first met you I suspected you had no spiritual pressure at all."
I raised a brow, confused.
"I still don't follow. What does having spiritual pressure mean in this? Why is that a big deal?" I asked, to which Uryū grumbled.
"Now I see why you and Ichigo get along..." He said under his breath. It felt like an insult as I glared at him. "If you don't have spiritual pressure, you can't see spirits. You can't interact with them, and you can't attack them. Meaning if you killed that menos yesterday, then you have spiritual pressure."
I hesitated, thinking about this.
"So it means... something is blocking it?" I thought back to the night the Kurosaki's clinic was attacked. Did Rukia do something to me?
"It's probably an advanced kidō," Uryū said as though mulling the idea around in his head. I raised a brow, and when he took noticed he clarified. "Kido is a soul reaper ability."
I stayed quiet, staring blankly at him.
"Soul reaper." I said, monotone. Uryū raised a brow at me, then seemed to realize.
"You really don't know anything, do you?"
That hurt.
I don't know why, but it stabbed me pretty deep.
Instead of asking Uryū more about what was going on, I confirmed in my head what I wanted to do. So I stood up and gathered my food.
"I'm sorry, Ishida, I have to go. Thank you for eating with me." I said, nodding my head to him. He had a knowing look, just nodding back. I turned and went straight for the door, nearly crashing into a body in the process.
Turned out Ichigo was making his way up the stairs. I couldn't have asked for better timing.
"Hey- what are you-" I stopped his rambling and grabbed his hand, yanking him to following me back down the stairs. Ichigo was a lot taller than me, so if he wanted to he could've shaken me off.
I dragged Ichigo to behind the school where nobody was. The delinquents were off property for now, so we had a moment, and god damn Kuchiki was somehow miraculously absent.
"What's with you lately?" Ichigo grumbled after I let go of his hand. I turned to stare at him, and he scratched the back of his head. He looked like he already knew what I was going to say.
"Are you ready to tell me what's been happening?" I asked in a flat tone, ready for him to deny anything was going on. Which he did, in a rather flimsy attempt.
"You're still convinced something big is happening, huh?" He sighed, making my eyes narrow.
"So I just imagined a-" what did Uryū call it? "- menos attacking us yesterday?"
Ichigo froze.
I watched the panic shift onto his face before he tried to hide it. He did a horrible job though; I could see right through him.
"What? What are you talking about? Menos?" He played dumb, which only hurt a bit more. I decided not to tell him about what I had done then, because if he was just going to deny anything happening anyway I saw no merit.
It stung.
"You really don't trust me, do you?" It hurt, but I supposed I could understand. I wouldn't want to tell anyone either, though I liked to think that I would tell Ichigo if this was happening to me.
"Why are you acting like this? You know it's got nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with my trust in you." Ichigo said, his voice shaky. It only made me angrier.
"What did Rukia do to you?" I asked, surprising Ichigo. "That night, she was there. You were yourself, and since that night you've been different. Sometimes you're normal and other times you're- you're different."
He remained frozen like a statue, staring down at me with wide eyes as I stepped slightly closer to him.
"What did Rukia-"
"Nothing alright?!" He snapped, his eyes changing as he looked down at me with anger. My mouth snapped shut as he looked away from me.
"Look, I don't know what sort of things you're making up but there is nothing going on. So just drop it already!" He looked back at me, and his eyes were pleading behind the anger. I narrowed my eyes again.
"Oh, so you dating Rukia Kuchiki now or what?" Ichigo made a frustrated noise and half turned away from me.
"Dammit, why is everybody so obsessed with that?!" He grumbled, I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Considering you spend more time with her than me these days, most people would come to the same conclusion." It felt sad to say it out loud, but it felt necessary. It felt like a weight got off my chest as I added on.
"Honestly, feels like you've forgotten about me."
With the look on his face you'd think I'd slapped him. Weirdly enough I didn't feel satisfied as I stared back. He was quiet for a long moment.
"Is that what you really think?" He squared up to me again. "You really feel that way."
I looked down to his shoes, feeling my resolve weaken at the tone of his voice.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "It is."
He was quiet for a long moment, as was I. I blinked rapidly to will any emotions back into check.
"I'm sorry, I- I don't mean to sound like a child. And I guess I was lying to myself before but..." I took a breath, still staring at the ground. "Things have really changed between us, yeah? I mean, I used to be who you went to with all these things-"
"Nao stop."
I ignored him.
"But I guess I'm just not your number one anymore, huh?" I don't know why but a small, breathy, humourless laugh left my lips. Ichigo didn't say anything else as I looked up at him. We stared at each other, and for the first time in our conversation, I knew what I was doing was the right thing.
"And that's okay," I said, but before he could speak I cut him off. "I think you're spreading yourself thin. Keeping secrets from me, school life, home life... whatever is happening with Rukia... and this secret thing that's going on with you. It's just too much."
I closed my eyes, then opened them with a small smile.
"So... let's just stop."
His eyes widened, worry evident on his face as his shoulders clenched.
"What?" He asked, hoarse. I took a deep breath, then pulled my school bag off my shoulder and produced a small gift bag.
"There's a new chocolate shop that opened in town. I wanted to take you for your birthday, but you ran off with Rukia. So I stopped by and got you some that I thought you'd like." I felt small as I said this, but I felt right. I handed Ichigo the bag, and he stared at it dumbly with the same expression. I hand to manually close his fingers across the string handle as he just stood frozen.
"Happy belated birthday," I said, taking a step away. "I think... right now Ichigo, if we keep doing this, we're going to regret something. I already... I hate how I act when you keep secrets from me, especially since I just know since it's you that you're in danger... I don't like myself right now, and how childish I get. And I know you're not going to tell me, and I guess that's fine but- No. Actually it's not fine. None of this is fine and I'm so angry at you right now! But at the same time... I don't want to completely lose you. So for right now... pretend we're not friends. Let's not spread you too thin... Take care of yourself. And when it's over, tell me everything, and we can still be friends if you want. I'd like that, personally-"
I was suddenly yanked forward into a warm chest. The bag clapping onto my back as Ichigo wrapped his arms tightly around me.
"What the hell was that?" his voice shook. "Forgetting about you... fuck that."
I felt a shiver go through me as Ichigo squeezed me tighter. My hands rested on his chest, his heart thudding loudly beneath my fingertips.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you thought I forgot you, but I haven't Nao. Not for a second, I promise. You are, and have always been, my best friend. And I trust you over everyone else, but I-" his head ducked down to my shoulder. "I will not let you fight my battles. You have always had my back, you have always protected me, so please. Trust me, and allow me to protect you."
I felt an ache going through my body at his words. And I wanted, more than anything, to trust him. I did in a way, but one thing I didn't trust was his judgment.
Reaching up, I cradled the back of his head with one hand while the other was slung across his broad shoulders.
"I do trust you," I said carding my fingers through his locks. "But I'm worried."
He sighed, leaning into my fingers, then pulled back. His face was hot, his cheeks pink as his hands froze where they rested on my ribs.
"Ichigo," I said, gaining his attention. "I still think time apart might be good."
"No." He said immediately. I smiled weakly, brought back to the night I left town. I brought my one hand to ruffle his hair softly, then fixed it out of his eyes.
"I trust you," I repeated. "But let me make it easier. Let's just- have a break? We're still friends, just- on hiatus?"
"Just stop already, I'm fine." He grumbled. I smiled, feeling his fingers rubbing softly on my back. Even through fabric it felt like his touch was burning me. My neck felt hot trapped by my hair. I swallowed, noticing how Ichigo was swallowing with the same vigour.
I wanted to kiss him.
That thought made me freeze. I almost panicked, but was brought back by Ichigo's voice.
"What does your hiatus imply?" He asked hesitantly. I smirked.
"I'm going to visit my mom for a few days," I said, surprising him. "I have... a few things I want to resolve with her. Something I have to do alone. And with that, I think the time away might set your head straight."
"Huh?" He asked dumbly, his brow furrowing. I grinned, standing on my tippy toes and leaning closer to him.
"Yeah, the time away will make you realize how hopeless you are without me. You'll be begging me to listen to your story nonstop after I return." Ichigo looked stunned at my grin, but then grumbled and pulled his arms off me. He placed one over my head and leaned heavily on me.
"As if!" He snorted, I cackled.
"You'll be crying, 'Naomi I'm so sorry! I'm completely lost without you! What the hell was I thinking keeping all of this from you?' and I'll be such a kind soul and- ow hey that's mean!" I flailed as he leaned harder on me.
"Oh grow up! Like that'll ever happen! I survived three years without you, didn't I?" He grumbled, but then his weight slowly lifted off of me until his hand was resting on the top of my head. I looked up at him as he stared down at me with a small frown.
"What?" I asked, noticing the shift in energy again.
"When you get back," he said slowly, "we go right back to this, like we did before, right?"
I gave a soft smile and nodded. His hand mussed my hair, making me grumble. But as I fixed it up, I saw the small smile on his face.
"Fine, we can do this- hiatus or whatever you called it. But only once you've left." He paused opened his mouth to speak, then we heard the bell. Ichigo sighed, then nodded up to the building.
The rest of the day felt... it felt different. The weight I had on my chest wasn't as heavy, and it was a lot of fun to watch Keigo freaking out over the gift bag Ichigo had. He never disclosed who gave it to him so the guy was trying to become a sleuth and solve the mystery.
When it came time to go home, Uryū tried to speak to me again.
"Sakurai, do you-" My jacket was yanked and I nearly fell back into Ichigo's chest. This surprised me as he stared straight over me at Uryū.
"Sorry, she's busy." He said, though I wasn't sure whether he was playing keep away or if he just really wanted to head home. The boys glared at each other for a bit, but then Uryu excused himself and said we would speak more another time. Ichigo grumbled under his breath about him for a while, but then we headed out. I started heading for home, when Ichigo called to me. I looked over to see him walking towards the clinic.
"Where are you going? Dinner's this way." He said, and the thought of Yuzu's cooking have my stomach growling.
"What about Rukia?" I asked, looking around. She was talking to someone else in the schoolyard still. Ichigo frowned.
"What about her?" He sounded genuinely confused. I frowned back at him.
"Well... you've been walking with her almost everyday." I said, remembering my solo walks. He looked a bit surprised, then sheepish.
"Well today I'm walking with you, aren't I?" He said, looking a little embarrassed. I let a soft smile lift the corners of my lips then caught up to him.
Other than Yuzu literally crying into my shoulder at seeing me, and Isshin fighting with Ichigo and shouting that he finally brought me back, it was a very lovely dinner with the Kurosaki's.
I stepped into Ichigo's room for maybe a minute, just to peak and see if he was doing the damn assignments, but for whatever reason he really didn't want me in there. I huffed, rolling my eyes, and left it be.
He was a teenager. God knows what I'd find stuffed between the sheets.
Ichigo insisted on walking me home after dinner, and I'll admit it almost felt like old times.
But something felt different.
I couldn't place what it was, but it felt... good. It was new territory maybe? Ichigo was putting on the attention hard, asking so many questions that my lies weren't all smooth. He wanted to know why I had been MIA for a while, and the easiest answer was a "how would you know? You've been gone more than I have." And while it was a low blow, I didn't entirely feel sorry for it.
But there was something in the way he was just focusing on me and- I missed this. I missed us just being kids and his undivided attention on me.
And that was the selfish part of me that I hated, because that pit in my gut, that doubt, wouldn't stop. I felt insecure like I was competing for Ichigo's affections-
Like I had a crush on him.
I stopped walking, a panic growing inside of me. I remembered the feeling of Ichigo's hug, and my neck grew hotter. The feeling of his breath on my ear as he lowered his head-
"Nao? You good?"
I squeaked, looking up at Ichigo with a red face. In and instant, I slapped myself.
"Fine! Fine! I'm toooootally fine." I cried, closing my eyes and begging my thoughts to leave me.
This was not the opportune time to realize I-
I looked up at my apartment building, and then back to Ichigo. This would be the last time we spoke for a while, right?
"Well, guess this is it." Ichigo said, looking sad. I swallowed a lump in my throat.
"Wanna come up for a bit?" I asked that, then realized with a start that I'd just invited a guy up to my place.
I had just invited Ichigo... who I had a cr-crush on...
Ichigo looked surprised, but then his eyes grew darker as he looked down at me. I swear his pupils dilated before he snapped out of it.
"Weren't you the one who said guys and girls shouldn't be alone in an apartment?" Ichigo joked, sounding a bit stiff. I blushed, looking at his shoes.
"Right!" I squeaked, biting my lower lip. He stepped closer, and when I looked up at him he was smiling again.
I really wanted to kiss him.
"I'll see you in a few days, Nao." He spoke softly, warmly. I felt them in my chest like a promise.
"Yeah, I promise." I said, impulsively reaching up to move some of his messy hair from his eyes. I didn't blush, oddly enough, but Ichigo did seem to snap out of something again. He cleared his throat, and waited for me to go up to my apartment. By the time I looked out my window Ichigo was gone, and I could smell him walking home.
I took a breath, not removing my shoes, and waited another ten minutes. Once the scent of Ichigo was long gone I exited my apartment and practically jogged to Urahara's. I got a little lost, but eventually found my way down the dirt path.
Sorry Ichigo, but I couldn't wait for you to tell me everything. I had to know. And I had a feeling this didn't start with Rukia.
When I slid open the shop door, Urahara was sitting there with the black cat resting on a cushion. A hint of a smirk on his face.
"Well, that was faster than I expected."
Chapter edited: March 9/2024
Y'all, I'm so tired. This chapter didn't go at all how I pictured it and its weirdly better? At first I had Nao 'breaking up' with Ichigo as his friend and him going along with it in a sad mopey way, but then I realized that wasn't his style so I was a dumbass and had just figured 'let's see what happens'. Apologies about the ending being a touch rushed, but I couldn't find a good place to stop and it's 3am... I need to wake up in 3 hours... I'm fucked.
I had to laughed btw, I got a review on another story that just got me laughing so hard it inspired me towrite. It basically said "havent read the story, but I have a feelingfrom the format and summary you're one of those 'copy and paste' writers. I already know it's garbage, bye.' or something to that line of thinking. It's on my naruto story (shameless plug) and honestly? I can't be offended, because he never read a word and immediately jumped to conclusions. I have to laugh, because it's their loss, and I just- wow what a sad life. Anyway, rant over, you should thank them though because it inspired me to get another chapter out earlier than I planned!
Also cheers to everyone reading! I still cant see anything, and thank you Cinna bae for reviewing. Genuinely, you're the GOAT.
Tumblr: Plznomonkeys
Thanks for reading.
Cheers.
Iland Girl
