- Chapter Start –

A distant murmur, gentle yet unrelenting, pulls Li LianHua from the embrace of sleep. He stays still even when the murmur morphs into a familiar voice and distinct words. Words that would make him smile if not for the tears thickening them.

Ah, XiaoBao, you silly boy. Do not waste your tears on me.

When a deeper, equally familiar voice joins in, Li LianHua is even more hard pressed not to react.

A-Fei, you silly - wait, what did you say?

Li LianHua opens his eyes to the sight of Fang DuoBing and Di FeiSheng gazing at each other and apparently making a pact to kill someone.

"And I… would rather you two… not," he says.

"Li LianHua! You're awake!" The blanket over him is yanked down and his arms are grabbed, hasty fingers pressing onto his inner wrists.

"I'm fine," he says and is predictably ignored.

"His Qi is still stable," Fang DuoBing tells Di FeiSheng who nods.

"No change to his meridians though," Di FeiSheng tells Fang DuoBing who nods in turn.

Li LianHua's forehead crinkles.

"Oi. Are you two physicians now?" He regrets it when they both swing back to him.

"How can you joke at a time like this?" Fang DuoBing looks indignant and heartbroken at the same time. "Did you think of how we'd feel when this" - he snatches up a torn envelope - "is the only thing that shows up at the East Sea in a few days?"

Which is exactly why Li LianHua chose this way. Because he doesn't want to see their reaction.

Li XiangYi was as brave as he was arrogant.

Li LianHua is nothing more than a coward.

"XiaoBao-"

"No! I've had it with your lies and excuses!"

Li LianHua opens his mouth, closes it and looks at Di FeiSheng whose expression is implacable. No help there. He turns back to Fang DuoBing who, for all his anger, is still holding onto his wrist like he can't bear to let go. So is Di FeiSheng for that matter.

"XiaoBao," Li LianHua tries again, keeping his voice low. Cajoling. "You know I'm dying."

"No!" Fang DuoBing dashes a hand across his eyes. His voice is shaking. "You won't let us help you! You keep running away even though you promised not to! I even paralysed you before going to look for Guan HeMeng and you still managed to escape!"

Li LianHua sighs and pries their fingers loose before pushing himself upright. Di FeiSheng supports him with a hand at his back, but keeps silent.

"This is exactly why," Li LianHua says. "Look, I'm not going to survive past a day or two at most. I really don't want you two to see me like this." He doesn't quite manage to keep the petulant tone from his voice, what with Fang DuoBing's hurt washing over him in almost palpable waves.

"I don't care!" Fang DuoBing glares at him. A tear falls. He palms it away angrily, but another takes its place. And then another. "I won't let you die! I - I can't-"

Grabbing the arm next to him, he buries his face in one broad shoulder, causing Di FeiSheng to look down at him in open mouthed astonishment. It would be downright amusing if Li LianHua doesn't feel just as bewildered.

Don't these two butt heads all the time?

Aren't they always bickering and sniping at each other?

What happened?

When Di FeiSheng raises his other hand, Li LianHua freezes at once, alarm bells clanging inside his head.

"A-Fei, wait…" He trails off when that hand rests on the back of Fang DuoBing's head and does nothing more.

Li LianHua's world tips on its axis again as his chest squeezes with an odd, sour pang. It doesn't feel like he's about to cough up blood again though.

Trying to ignore the sounds of muffled sobbing, he stares at Di FeiSheng who just shrugs his unoccupied shoulder. The accusing look in his eyes has given way to a softness that leaves Li LianHua, quite frankly, floundering.

"XiaoBao?" He tries again.

Fang DuoBing abruptly pulls away, cheeks blotchy in the golden light of the lamp. He looks utterly mortified now, eyes darting from Di FeiSheng's face to his hand still in the air.

"Ahh! I… I didn't…" With a groan, he jumps to his feet and rushes out, leaving behind a very awkward silence.

Di FeiSheng lowers his hand. Li LianHua stares straight ahead and resists the urge to scratch his nose.

"He's overreacting," he finally says. "Don't mind him."

"I don't."

Li LianHua turns to him in surprise, having expected a very different reply. Something along the lines of 'Yeah, the youth nowadays are so dramatic', accompanied by a smirk or an eye roll. Not this look of… of disappointment, of all things.

"A-Fei, look-"

"I know you're dying," Di FeiSheng interrupts him. "I've known for a while, but aside from the time I brought you to the Drug Demon, you seemed alright. More or less. You freed yourself from Jiao LiQiao's dungeon and found me. You carried me on your back and helped me repair my meridians. You even defeated Shan GuDao who had absorbed your master's power."

"Ahh. Well, I-"

"But for Xiao – Fang DuoBing, it's different," Di FeiSheng interrupts him again. "He told me he sat up with you on three separate occasions after you coughed up blood and passed out. Three occasions I know nothing about."

"Right. Well, I-"

"He told me you abandoned him on as many separate occasions. Three counting this last time when you broke his paralysis."

Li LianHua hunches in on himself, feeling about two inches tall and wretched besides. He stares down at the worn, none too clean blanket in his hands.

"You have been his inspiration for many years," Di FeiSheng continues. "You are the reason why he's so talented and strong now. Yet you lied to him about who you are since the day you met. Even when he guessed the truth, you still denied it."

A headache chooses this moment to start up, striking Li LianHua between the eyebrows. He's never fared well with guilt and Di FeiSheng is just piling it on with no thought or care as to how poorly he feels.

"To add to all that, we kept things from him. I don't mean our identities alone."

Li LianHua chances a peek, sensing some self-recrimination. True enough, Di FeiSheng's lips are twisted in something like regret.

"Well, to be fair, we two go way back," Li LianHua mutters and chances another peek. This time, he gets the sceptical lift of an eyebrow.

"Do we, Li-mengzhu? If we really have such a long and deep friendship then why haven't I convinced you to live?" Di FeiSheng's voice rises. "Why did you give away the only means of saving your life? Do you know the lengths I went to-"

He cuts himself off right there, vein pulsing in his temple and breathing harsh in the otherwise silent room.

Li LianHua should grab this chance to speak, to defend himself, but his mind has gone blank once again.

"Do you know how much we care?" Di FeiSheng's voice cracks on the last word.

"You said 'we'."

Di FeiSheng continues to glower at him.

"Sorry." The ache in Li LianHua's chest swells, threatening to choke him. He dips his head and misses the sight of Di FeiSheng's hands curling into shaking fists and the anguish in his eyes.

When Di FeiSheng stands up, it's with an air of finality that makes Li LianHua's heart stutter. Head snapping up, he grabs his arm.

"Don't go."

Di FeiSheng stares down at his hand then at him, looking nonplussed.

"This is the first time you've told me that."

"This is the first time I've told anyone that," Li LianHua admits.

"I'm only going to get XiaoBao. Do you honestly think we'd leave you now?"

Di FeiSheng's hand closes over Li LianHua's, squeezing once before pulling his arm free. The fire is gone from his eyes, leaving him looking tired.

"I - thank you," Li LianHua says. Not the casual 'Thanks' he throws out but heartfelt gratitude this time.

"We're not giving up on you."

"I know," Li LianHua says, another pang squeezing his heart.

"Don't go anywhere," Di FeiSheng says and leaves.

Li LianHua looks at the open doorway. The familiar urge to flee is still there, but there's no point in running anywhere. Those two will always find him.

With a sigh, he pulls his legs in to sit cross legged. Might as well get some meditation done while he waits. Breathing out, he closes his eyes, feeling relieved and oddly at peace.

- Chapter End -