Three months.
It's been three months since they reached the school and Izuku felt no more closer to controlling this quirk than he had at the beginning.
"You're overthinking this, Midoriya. Something's holding you back from using Black Whip."
Izuku sighed, letting his hands drop. He was really reconsidering this decision to train with Aizawa. It was like trying to complete a task with half the manual missing and a blind instructor.
Then there was the lack of sleep. Izuku was running on empty, just trying to keep up while everyone around him was thriving. Izuku looked over to Hatsume, who was helping Shinso with his newest equipment. A voice modular that he had been wanting to try with his quirk.
"Can you check the modules a bit? I was hearing some distortion once we get to a higher pitch." Shinso asked.
"Hmmm, yeah, I heard it too." Hatsume said.
Now that Hatsume had an endless supply of equipment, she was in her element creating gear for their group left and right. Izuku appreciated the support gear on his arms and legs, since Chieko was out of the question for now. The last thing he needed was another broken bone.
And Shinso was really growing into his quirk under Aizawa's care, which was why Izuku knew it wasn't Aizawa that was holding him back.
'Midoriya'
It was that. The voices that had been increasing, making Izuku jumpy and self-conscious any time he even attempted to use his quirk.
"Midoriya."
'Midoriya'
Izuku glanced at Aizawa, whose voice seemed to overlap with All Might's faded one, overlapping each other.
"Let's take a break for today. I need your skills in the upcoming recon mission, but I won't be able to if you keep getting distracted."
Izuku dropped to the ground, fed up with himself.
"I want you to rest tomorrow. Lack of sleep could agitate the situation." Aizawa suggested.
He wanted to protest, but he couldn't deny that maybe Aizawa was right.
"Yes, sir." Izuku said.
Shinso and Hatsume joined him once Aizawa had left, their matching concerned looks giving away that they had been listening to the conversation.
"You doing okay?" Shinso asked.
"I wonder if I should tell Aizawa about my quirk." Izuku said.
Other than the detective, Kacchan and Izuku agreed to let their group be aware of Izuku's connection to All Might. It only seemed fair after everything they had gone through together.
"Do you think it will be safe?" Hatsume asked.
Izuku considered Hatsume's question. She had toned down compared to the first time he had met her. He noticed the same from the rest of their group, if he was honest.
Everyone had scars from this new life.
"I don't know, but if I don't tell him, then I don't think he'll be able to help me."
"Why don't you ask Bakugou then? He was helping you before, wasn't he?" Shinso asked.
Ah, Kacchan.
Izuku couldn't cover the scoff that escaped at the mention of the other boy's name. The chance to train together was nonexistent at this point. Nothing had happened, no fights or arguments.
Everything was fine, just silent.
Things whether neither bad nor good.
It may be worse if Izuku thought about it.
As if the friendship they rebuilt never existed at all, Izuku had become a background character to Katsuki's daily life.
An extra.
The constant uneasiness at this had become a companion to Izuku. Just under the skin.
"He seems busy." Izuku said.
Shinso sat down next to him, fiddling with the knobs on either side of his newly constructed mask.
"Everyone has been busy lately." Shinso said.
Maybe Izuku wasn't the only one who had noticed them. Everyone fell into their own routines as time went by. Chieko seemed the most preoccupied with being split between training with Aizawa's basic defense class and Nurse Shin training. It seemed at a time like she disappeared and reappeared.
And Kacchan.
Well, he and Denki had been doing well with Mirio, who had given them a small team comprising Ochako, Kirishima and Sero. They assigned their team to clear the pathways from the last battle.
The small group had been like a fine oiled machine under Kacchan's fair dictatorship. It left Izuku both in awe and dread, watching him excel. Because Kacchan could be amazing in anything he put his mind to, and this was no exception.
But as time passed, what glued their small rag-tag group together began fading away.
Or maybe it was never there to begin with.
Izuku's vision hazed as his mind lingered a bit too long on that one thought.
Survival had brought Izuku's odd self-made family together, but had it not been for that, would they have any reason to stick so close?
Maybe they were returning to what they should have been.
Back to the status quo.
"You're doing it again." Shinso said.
Izuku blinked. Shinso was observing him from the corner of his eyes, his hid tilted off to one side.
"Doing what?"
"You do this thing where you just get too much in your head.. just looks like you're spiraling. I think that's what Aizawa was trying to tell you to stop doing." Shinso said.
"So then it's impossible."
Izuku dropped back as he covered his eyes with his arms. They really were asking the impossible. Izuku analyzed every second of every day. How was he supposed to stop thinking?
"You just need a distraction!" Hatsume said.
Hatsume plopped back beside her, her pink strands tickling the side of his arm.
"I heard they do gatherings at night so we can meet others our age. We've all been so busy, it would be nice to go unwind for a bit."
"That could be fun." Shinso said.
A party would be an agreeable change of pace. Time with Kacchan would be nice, too. Maybe get out of this weird dynamic and back to something more normal.
With the rest of his day free, Izuku went to check on his mom. They hadn't assigned her any work yet, so she usually stayed near their room stitching together any of the holes.
Shinso stayed behind to work on his voice modular with Hatsume, but they had agreed to regroup for dinner when they were done.
Reaching their room, it surprised him to see Chieko with his mom. The two were sitting together as his mom attempted to teach Chieko how to patch up a hole in Denki's jeans.
"How come your stitches come out so nice and mine look wonky?" Chieko asked.
"It takes practice dear, you'll get it with time." Inko said.
"Are you learning to mend clothes, Chieko?" Izuku asked.
They finally noticed him lingering by the door, watching, and Chieko waved him over with a smile.
"I mean, it's an impressive skill to have, but I'm also using it to stitch wounds. Nurse Shin said I should practice, but I don't have the best hands." Chieko said.
They hung out together for the rest of the day. Izuku even tried his hand at sewing, which results in a crooked line of stitches, but it made Chieko laugh.
"So Hatsume mentioned we could join other groups for a get together. Want to check it out?" Izuku asked.
"Oh! That sounds fun. Maybe we can try during our next down time? I can make time." Chieko said.
"I doubt anyone my age will go to these things, so you kids have fun if you do." Inko said.
When Denki showed up later that evening for dinner, Izuku noticed the lack of Kacchan's presence. Not that it was an unusual thing. Izuku wasn't sure about the reason, but Kacchan had come back later and later to the room lately. His absence a contact sore spot in his peripheral.
"Where's Kacchan?" Izuku asked.
"I'm right here."
Izuku turned to Kacchan, his stand in uniform ripped to hell and he was in a sore need of a shower to clean off the soot that had coated the top layer of his skin.
"Man, Kacchan, you're tracking dirt into the room." Denki said.
Izuku stiffened on the other side of the room. It sounded strange coming from anyone other than Izuku. He braced to stop Kacchan from blasting Denki, but there wasn't so much as a glare from the other boy as he grabbed his meager bath items.
"Yeah, Yeah I just forgot my bath supplies. I'll be right back. Don't eat all the rice this time, Dunce Face!" Kacchan said.
Izuku's nails bit at his palms through the fabric that Izuku held forgotten in his lap. His chest felt tight as if his heart was being squeezed front he inside. The thumps harsh in his ears as Chieko sounded muffled and far away.
"I thought only you could call him that?" Chieko asked.
Denki must have heard Chieko because he came over to sit next to her, his face excited as he checked over his newly fixed clothes. He didn't seem bothered by the shoddy work Chieko had done as he bragged about his new closeness to Kacchan.
"Ah, I think it was a few days ago Ochako asked about the nickname and after an awhile I just tried it to tease him a bit and Kacchan said nothing, so I've been calling him that ever since." Denki said.
"Oh."
Chieko's mouth was open in a perfect o' that looked rather funny. She was staring at Izuku, but Izuku couldn't quite focus on her. He looked down at the fabric, attempting to return to the messy stitches of his worn tee.
"Did I do something?" Denki asked.
No, Izuku thought as he shoved the needle through the fabric. His shirt had become a poorly constructed scrap of cloth from the amount of holes it had gained. He made a mental note to speak with someone about any spare clothes they could have.
"Midoriya?" Denki asked.
"Of… of course now." Izuku said.
There was no rule that said he couldn't call Kacchan, Kacchan. There was nothing Izuku could say if Kacchan didn't object. It was never only his to begin with it; a bad habit that he couldn't outgrow compared to the other kids in their neighborhood.
He could see the lime green of Chieko's eyes from here; they were so wide, as if waiting for him to do something. Denki would glance back between them, dumbfounded.
She was making a big deal out of nothing. It wasn't like Izuku would react badly; it was even a good thing if he thought about it. Kacchan should get closer to his friends.
The needle caught with each stitch as Izuku tried to force it through a thicker portion of fabric. His line of thread had tangled, leaving small knots that snagged as he time he forced it through.
"Midoriya?" Chieko said.
Izuku didn't look up as he fumbled to force the needle through, as it became more difficult.
"Maybe I should take over." Chieko tried again.
"It's fine, I got it."
"What happened?" Shinso asked.
Shinso who had just entered with Hatsume and the room grew that much smaller around Izuku, compressing him on all sides as everyone's attention was on him while his focus stayed firmly on his task at hand.
"Nothing happened." Izuku said.
"I think I said something wrong." Denki said.
Their words overlapped, which made Izuku's hurried response to be dwarfed by Denki's worried declaration. The needle slipped, and Izuku cursed as it jabbed into his pointer finger. Chieko and his mom hurried to grab at his hand, but Izuku pulled away on instinct. The sting made tears come at the corners of his eyes. It only made him more pitiful looking for everyone in the room.
"I'm fine."
"Honey, let me look." Inko said.
"I said I'm fine!"
Everyone looked at him with a level of concern as his shout came out louder than he had expected.
"I'll take care of this myself and be right back."
Before anyone could stop him, Izuku held his injured hand against his chest and he walked out, the steps loud in his ears as she got away from everyone.
Kacchan should have been in the washroom, so Izuku planned to go past them to the next closes bathrooms on their floor. He didn't expect to see Kacchan in the hallway.
Covered in soot, Izuku guessed he had forgotten something in their room.
"What are you doing, Kacchan?"
"I could ask you the same thing, nerd." Kacchan said.
Neither seemed ready to open their mouth as they eyed each other, but it was Kacchan who noticed his hand clutched to his chest.
"You hurt yourself or what?" Kacchan asked.
Izuku sniffed to rid himself of his runny nose. His eyes still felt itchy, but he blinked a few times to rid them of moisture.
"Yeah, I guess I'm not very good at sewing." Izuku said.
Kacchan grabbed at his hand before Izuku could protest. His neck felt hot as Kacchan looked over the minor injury where the needle still stabbed into his skin, blood pulling at the edges.
"Stupid, you can break bones, but a small needle has you crying like a baby." Kacchan said.
He said it, but even as his tone sounded irritated by Izuku's mistake, his hands were gentle as they plucked the needle out with little effort.
Kacchan didn't let go right away as he turned his hand around to check on any other injuries, and Izuku's breath paused in his chest, unwilling to distract him from his inspection.
The earlier doubts slithered through his thoughts as he looked at the other boy.
"Hey, Kacchan." Izuku said.
"Hmm?"
"Do you think… if the villains had never attacked.. and we were both in U. A….."
Izuku paused, hesitant to know the answer.
"We haven't always gotten along, but do you think that would have changed? Would we have been friends again? If things had been different?" Izuku said.
Kacchan didn't answer right away, but his brows furrowed, as if he was considering Izuku's question carefully. As he let go of his hand, Izuku could still feel the heat from Kacchan's touch, making him rub his hands together, hoping the feeling would extend longer on his skin.
"No, we wouldn't have.."
Izuku's movements ceased as he looked up at the red eyes staring back at him. There wasn't any anger or irritation directed at him. A more resigned calm as Kacchan moved past Izuku towards their room.
His finger pulsed and throbbed as it grabbed at his attention and Izuku let his eyes water again because of the pain.