A couple of days before the return of school after Christmas, I was returning to 12 Grimmauld Place after being relieved from guard duty for the Order, having to take on extra shifts whilst Arthur was out of action. I was exhausted but wanted to leave my report for Moody, but also to make sure Sirius was doing okay knowing that Harry would be leaving to go back to school tomorrow. I opened the front door and immediately heard Sirius' loud voice coming from the kitchen.
"You know, I think I'd prefer it if you didn't give orders here, Snape. It's my house, you see."
I rolled my eyes, briefly wondering what I had just walked in on as I made my way to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway. I saw Severus sitting at the long dining table and Sirius sitting at the head of it. Sirius was leaning back on his rear chair legs and speaking to the ceiling and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again but my brain went straight to thinking that even when being an arrogant prat he still managed to look so good doing it.
I watched as Harry sat down in a chair beside Sirius, facing Severus across the table. Not one of them acknowledged me as I entered the kitchen nor when I sat at the end of the table near Severus and folded my arms, curious to see what this was about.
"I was supposed to see you alone, Potter," sneered Severus, "but Black —"
"I'm his godfather," said Sirius, louder than ever still talking to the ceiling.
"I am here on Dumbledore's orders," said Severus quietly, "but by all means stay, Black, I know you like to feel . . . involved."
"Meaning?" said Sirius, letting his chair fall back onto all four legs with a loud bang.
"Merely that I am sure you must feel — ah — frustrated by the fact that you can do nothing useful," Severus laid a delicate stress on the word, "for the Order."
Sirius' face flushed and Severus' lip curled in triumph as he turned to Harry.
"The headmaster has sent me to tell you, Potter, that it is his wish for you to study Occlumency this term."
"Study what?" said Harry blankly.
Severus' sneer became more pronounced.
"Occlumency, Potter. The magical defence of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one."
I exchanged a glance with Sirius and the look in his eyes told me that he had come to the same conclusion I had. So this was Dumbledore's plan to help Harry close out Vodemort's thoughts. Sirius' turned his gaze back on Severus.
"Why do I have to study Occlu — thing?" Harry blurted out.
"Because the headmaster thinks it a good idea," said Severus smoothly. "You will receive private lessons once a week, but you will not tell anybody what you are doing, especially Dolores Umbridge. Do you understand?"
"Yes," said Harry. "Who's going to be teaching me?"
Severus raised an eyebrow before he said "I am,"
I watched Harry look quickly around at Sirius for support. I knew that Severus wasn't exactly Harry's favourite teacher but he was a skilled Occlumens. He had taught me how to close my mind once I learnt of how important that diadem I had stolen from my father was. Although my plan was to cast the obliviate charm on myself, Severus had talked me out of doing it, calling me foolish and offering to help me close my mind instead.
"Why can't Dumbledore teach Harry?" asked Sirius aggressively. "Why you?"
"I suppose because it is a headmaster's privilege to delegate less enjoyable tasks," said Severus silkily. "I assure you I did not beg for the job." He got to his feet. "Six o'clock on Monday evening, Potter. My office. If anybody asks, you are taking Remedial Potions."
Severus quickly turned to me, his black travelling cloak billowing around him "Meg - a word?" he said quietly as my eyes snapped to him as I heard him say my name.
"Wait a moment," said Sirius, sitting up straighter in his chair. Severus turned back to face Sirius, sneering. I looked at him as well, he was frowning, looking between me and Severus.
"I am in rather a hurry, Black, unlike you, I do not have unlimited leisure time. . . ."
"I'll get to the point, then," said Sirius, standing up. Severus, I noticed, made a movement with his hand inside the pocket of his cloak over what I was sure was the handle of his wand. "If I hear you're using these Occlumency lessons to give Harry a hard time, you'll have me to answer to."
"How touching," Severus sneered. "But surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?"
"Yes, I have," said Sirius proudly.
"Well then, you'll know he's just as arrogant as he was, that criticism simply bounces off him," Severus said sleekly.
Sirius pushed his chair aside roughly and strode around the table toward Severus, pulling out his wand as he went and Severus whipped out his own. They were squaring up to each other, Sirius looking livid.
"Sirius!" said Harry loudly, but Sirius appeared not to hear him.
"I've warned you, Snivellus," said Sirius, his face barely a foot from Severus', "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better —"
"Sirius" I warned him as I stood up from my seat. He ignored me as well but I saw his eyes flick to me briefly.
"Oh, but why don't you tell him so?" whispered Severus glaring at Sirius. "Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother's house for six months?"
"Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he's delighted about his lapdog working at Hogwarts, isn't he?"
"Speaking of dogs," said Severus softly, "did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform . . . gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in future, didn't it?"
"Severus, stop!" I said, stepping towards him and grabbing my own wand from inside my robes as Sirius raised his at Severus' face.
Honestly, it was like being back in school sometimes.
"NO!" Harry yelled, vaulting over the table and trying to get in between his Godfather and Severus, "Sirius, don't —"
"Are you calling me a coward?" roared Sirius, trying to push Harry out of the way, but Harry would not budge.
"Why, yes, I suppose I am," said Severus.
"Harry — get — out — of — it!" snarled Sirius, pushing him out of the way with his free hand.
This was so ridiculous to me that I shook my head and flicked my wand at Sirius whose wand flew out of his hand and into my free hand.
"Enough!" I shouted using my best teacher voice "Honestly, this childish squabbling has got to stop" looking between them.
Severus, Sirius and Harry all stared at me as I tossed Sirius' wand back at him and turned to Severus "You wanted a word?"
Severus said nothing but flounced out of the room. I took one final look at Sirius who was breathing heavily, frowning at me and I followed Severus. He had stopped in the hallway and I closed the door to the kitchen.
"What is it?" I asked, suddenly feeling my exhaustion again.
"I have to warn you that the Dark Lord has told your parents that they need to find something, he did not say what but he did mention that they were holding it for him. I am assuming it is the object we have previously discussed" Severus whispered urgently.
My stomach clenched horribly and I felt sick. I swallowed as Severus continued "The Dark Lord's patience is growing thin. I don't know the fate that awaits your parents at this time"
I waved my hand dismissively and laughed bitterly "I don't care what happens to them" I said darkly as Severus caught my wrist and looked at me seriously "I do not know how he will punish them if they fail but, he may come after you too."
I frowned at him, unsure of what he meant exactly. "Why would Voldemort come after me if he does not know what I did?"
"Meg, please," Severus whispered urgently "I strongly advise that you talk to Dumbledore about this and possibly think about going into -"
"Are you trying to tell me that he knows?" I spat looking at his hand around my wrist. Severus was the only person who knew I had hidden that Diadem and when I told him he had sworn to me that he wouldn't reveal its location nor that it was me that had stolen it. He had sworn on Lily and I believed him thoroughly.
"No-" Severus answered me and we both spun around as the kitchen door swung open with a bang and Sirius appeared glaring at us both.
"What's going on?" he said sharply.
"Heed my warning" Severus urged me quietly looking back at me. I wrenched my wrist from Severus' grip and he gave me a pointed look before turning around and flounced out of the house.
"What did he want?" Sirius demanded but his voice slightly softer now as he looked at me.
"Nothing" I said.
I stared at the spot where Severus had been not wanting to turn to Sirius.
Sirius frowned as he stepped in front of me, and tenderly took my hand in his. His thumb brushed over the engagement and wedding rings I still wore.
"I used to know you so well." he eventually said sadly. I closed my eyes briefly and swallowed as his words cut me. I looked up into his grey eyes and absentmindedly wiped a stray tear that fell from my eye.
After a beat I said "I did something I shouldn't have done after I lost - " I fell silent, not able to say "our baby" and reached out, grabbing his hand as I saw his eyes filling with grief. He gripped my hand in return as I continued "- I wish I could tell you"
"You can tell me," he said softly "you can tell me anything, you know that."
"I can't," I whispered, shaking my head.
"Meg -" he started "You know we can fix whatever it is together-"
"Please, Sirius-" I interrupted him, "-you just have to trust me." I could feel my temper rising slightly. I wasn't angry at him, only at myself but his constant questioning was beginning to rub me up the wrong way.
After a long pause he nodded slowly.
"We need to talk about what-" he said eventually, his voice scratchy.
I pulled my hand away from his, knowing that he was going to mention the night we had spent together. "Stop it," I whispered, "it didn't mean anything," I lied.
He was standing so close to me, memories of that night flashing into my mind. I had been deliberately ignoring these memories as I reminded myself over and over again that it was a once off and that I harboured no feelings over it. There were more important things to focus on than our failed marriage.
"When all of this is over, I was hoping we could be a proper family," Sirius said, looking at the rings on my left hand even though I had dropped my hand to my side.
I scoffed, "Do you honestly think we can just go back to the way things were before?" I said sadly "too much has changed"
"The way I feel hasn't changed" he said "and I know the way you feel hasn't changed either."
"You don't know anything about me anymore-" I started to whisper but before I could finish he had grabbed my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. At first I resisted and I pushed him away but, as I stared into his grey eyes the love I thought I had buried deep inside myself welled to the surface, overwhelming me as I pulled his face to mine again and kissed him harder. My hands fell to his chest and I lost myself completely as we continued to kiss. I vaguely felt myself bump slightly into the wall behind me. The feeling of his body against mine forced me to remember being young and carefree, the good times we had shared when James and Lily were alive. I always felt safe with him, he was my refuge, my person and the one I could rely on time and time again to be there for me no matter what. I never wanted this moment to end but, it unfortunately did abruptly as the front door burst open and the entire Weasley family, along with Hermione, Lupin, Tonks and Moody came inside, all looking very happy, with Arthur walking proudly in their midst dressed in a pair of striped pyjamas covered by a rain jacket.
"Cured!" he announced brightly. "Completely cured! - Merlin's beard" he trailed off as he took in the sight in front of him.
Sirius and I broke apart and I saw out of the corner of my eye that Harry had appeared at the kitchen door, looking from me and Sirius to everyone else frozen on the threshold. I swallowed as I looked fleetingly around the room and pushed Sirius off me, taking in a sharp breath.
With what looked like an enormous effort, Sirius smiled. "So . . . You're cured? That's great news, really great. . . . " I looked up at Sirius and then quickly at everyone standing in the doorway, forced a smile and nodded in agreement.
The Weasley family and the rest of the Guard awkwardly squeezed past Sirius and I as we inelegantly stood against the wall to let them all pass. I frowned slightly when Molly looked at us both darkly muttering something about acting like teenagers as she passed.
Once they had all gone into the kitchen I side glanced at Sirius who was looking down at me grinning and I couldn't help but smile slightly as I whispered "Don't," and walked over the the now deserted front door and disapperated on the top step, completely forgetting why I had even come to Grimmauld Place in the first place.