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Looking alternately at the headmaster, who was groaning in discomfort in lieu of an answer, and at the fat sneaky snake, who looked thrilled at the prospect of having an A-class slave under his wing, Henry shook his head.

"I... I don't know much about British, or Hogwarts traditions, but, um, don't you have to be a graduate of Slytherin house to be a Slytherin head of house? Clearly I do not fall within the criteria."

"That's not the case, Henry." The headmaster shook his head. "There is nothing stipulated in the Rule of Hogwarts about a Head's original house. Under ordinary circumstances, yes, the Head should be a graduate of Hogwarts and a graduate of the house in question, or face the wrath of the Board of Governors, but there are no restrictions on outside scouted professors up to the level of Deputy Head."

"And the restriction that the house heads have to be from that house is only due to the sanctimoniousness of those old tradition keepers. Personally, I think only thing it does is reinforcing the bad temperament of each house. Newbie crazies develop to a ripened crazies in each house under the wings of their respective heads. You see, I've always wanted to move to Hufflepuff head. I actually like the Hufflepuffs, sometimes more than my little snakes. I can only imagine how far I could go with those honest, obedient, well-behaved children under my wings..."

"Horace..."

"And what about Gryffindors! If I could sprinkle just a pinch of my own tricks of the trade, of my own shrewdness and ambition onto those admirable strong-willed warriors..."

"Horace, please!"

The Headmaster waved a hand over Slughorn's mouth, feeling a migraine coming on. If he'd granted all of the transfer requests from that connections-addicted Slytherin, Slughorn would have been through all four Houses by now. With an involuntary groan as he envisioned the four hallowed halls of Hogwarts being entangled in the sticky web of the giant spider, the Headmaster turned to Henry.

"So, Henry, it doesn't matter what house you become deputy head of, Slytherin, or Gryffindor, for example... Oh, and I have an idea. Why don't you try on the Sorting Hat? It's been a while since we've had a professor who wasn't a Hogwarts graduate and I'm sure Sir Hat would love it."

"What a childish suggestion for a grown man. Albus."

"Uh, no. Thank you, Headmaster."

The two refusals came out simultaneously, and Slughorn (who had just done a quick roll of the dice in his head and concluded that the young man in front of him was not 100% Slytherin type) nodded toward Henry.

"Aye, aye. Wise as ever. The quality of a deputy head does not depend on the recommendation of the Mad Hat who lies lazy for 363 days in a year. I assure you, the most important qualification for a deputy head is a strong arm."

Henry looked back and forth between Dumbledore and Slughorn.

"Headmaster, dare I guess, you originally meant for me to be the deputy head of Gryffindor, since in your eyes I seem to have Gryffindor qualities, to be confirmed if I try the Hat. Should I consider it an honor?"

"...It is not fate that determines one's life, Professor Peverell, but his choices."

"...Ah, yes."

Rolling his eyes, Harry changed the subject and looked at Slughorn.

"What do you mean, Professor, when you say that the quality of a deputy is on his strong arm?"

Slughorn smirked and held up his own (handsomely muscled) arm.

"Well, of course, since the primary duty of a deputy head is student discipline. Too bad I'm nearly a hundred years old. Look at my arms! Twenty years ago, I could swing a paddle a hundred times a day, but now they are so frail that I can barely hold a potion stirrer. I'm ashamed to say, but the Slytherin boys have been lazy-lax for a few years now that my arm has been losing strength. I expect the arrival of a new young deputy will bring them to their senses."

"..."

Henry's jaw dropped. The youth looked completely shocked.

"Uh... you mean, you practice... corporal punishment, during detention, at school?"

"Of course we do, Harry!"

"...Moderate use of corporal punishment is an inevitable part of school discipline, Henry."

Harry sighed at Slughorn's all-too-obvious face, and Dumbledore's gentle but firm declaration.

"...You're not joking, you two."

Headmaster Dumbledore said hastily.

"Of course, corporal punishment by way of curses or hexes is completely forbidden at this school. The book '99 Household Discipline Curse Spells' by Hippolyte Black was banned for sale ten years ago for excessive cruelty..."

"You had a hand in the banning, Albus, which is why you're being called too lenient," Slughorn grumbled. "What's the point of banning curses for discipline at school when every parent does it at home during holidays anyway? Students look down on professors, that's the result. Ew! Back in my day, one wrong word to a professor and I'd be hauled off to the detention room and write a thousand lines with a blood quill!"

"Blood quill..."

The corners of Henry's mouth twisted oddly, and he glanced down at the back of his left hand. It was a fleeting glance, but the two elderly professors recognized the reflexive gaze, and Slughorn's expression turned awkward when he saw the faintly scarred back of the young man's hand.

"Hmm. Harry, you were educated... on the line of old tradition, I see. A moment ago I thought you were educated in one of those self-proclaimed progressive punishment-free schools in the Continent."

"I wouldn't say traditional... Um... Yeah. I'll call it that."

Well, I should've known, there's no way that pink toad had the brains to invent a new magic item, Harry grumbled to himself. 'Of course it was a rediscovery of auld British tradition'.

Slughorn looked somewhat apologetic, unlike the way just moments before he had been flaunting the corporal punishment he had received back in his days, probably in the 19th century.

"Unless you particularly want to keep it, why don't you remove the scar with a special potion over the summer? I've forgotten about it since I haven't had to use it for years, but it should be in my potions cabinet somewhere."

Henry nodded.

"Thank you. It's definitely not a scar I want to keep."

Slughorn gave a full smile.

"Anyway, I see you were brought up with strict discipline, unlike the youths of today. You know that schoolboys look down their noses at professors who don't give them a good whipping. Kids these days are worse. Being a Slytherin head isn't an easy job, there'll be plenty of miscreants who'll want to sound you out, and the only way to establish authority over those little snakes..."

Slughorn's sermon, in which 'back in my day' and 'kids these days' made up half of the conversation, was let in one ear and out the other. Henry looked up at the Headmaster.

"If you offer me the position of Associate Professor of Potions, I'll take it, Headmaster. To be honest, I'd like to stay longer than a one-year term."

"A wise decision!"

"...I see."

"And the position of Deputy Head of house..."

Henry was lost in thought. Dumbledore held his breath. On next Monday was a faculty meeting. The young man's choice would determine Dumbledore's fate next week - whether or not he would be decapitated by the sharp claws of the overworked Deputy Headmistress.

"So, you're telling me that one of the major responsibilities of a deputy head is student discipline – administering corporal punishment?"

"That's right."

"From what you're saying, it sounds like the rule is that when a student misbehaves, he or she is to be punished by the head, or the deputy, of the same gender in each house; is that correct?"

"That's right. Discipline at Hogwarts is enforced under strict rules. There are specific instruments of punishment for each year; a maximum number of strokes for each year is stipulated as well. And magic is to be used only as necessary to assist the student in receiving the punishment without undue difficulty. Hexes are, as I said, completely forbidden. To prevent untoward words between professors and students, male professors may only administer corporal punishment to male students and female professors to female students."

"Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff don't need male deputy heads, then?"

The headmaster nodded.

"Both the heads and deputy heads there are relatively young."

Sure, they'd also be happy to receive a new deputy head, but a closed mouth is not fed anywhere, even in schools.

In the cutthroat world of intraschool politics, professors who were slow on the uptake or didn't actively seek out their share of a newbie had nothing left for them.

"Besides, Hufflepuffs are traditionally well-behaved and rarely use the detention office. Ravenclaws are also relatively quiet, usually."

"Quiet, except for the occasional big one, alas. I remember that explosion in the Ravenclaw sixth year dormitory earlier this year. It was the first time in my memory that Filius had to ask for help because he felt too overworked for whipping." Slughorn added.

"What are the numbers of Slytherin and Gryffindor boys, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore answered, with a smirk.

"Presently, one hundred and thirty-five Gryffindor boys, and one hundred and forty-one Slytherin. Six fewer in Gryffindors."

"Gryffindor has some devil of students who could fill the share of a hundred... whoops!"

"Ugh. Horace. If you please, silence for a moment. Let Henry make his choice."

Henry stared at the headmaster for three or four seconds. It was a steady gaze that seemed to show no fear of Legilimency. Dumbledore paused and blinked; and then the young man lowered his gaze and nodded, letting out a heavy groan.

"...I'll take the position of Slytherin deputy head."

"Excellent, Harry!"

"...Really, Slytherin?"

Slughorn's triumphant song of success in school politics overlapped with the Headmaster's sigh of defeat in anticipation of Professor McKitten's sharp claws next week.

..