Chapter 6

There was a desolate sort of beauty to the frozen tundra that was Illum. We were lucky enough to have arrived on a relatively warm morning, there was almost no wind, and the sun was just starting to come out on the horizon. Master Yoda led the party, and us younglings followed close behind in giddy excitement. We came face to face with a glacier wall, maybe 100 feet high, a plain wall of ice that reflected the first rays of sunshine. This didn't seem to faze master Yoda, he walked on, until he found what he was looking for. On the floor, underneath a thin layer of snow, was a circular platform, seemingly carved into the ice floor. If someone hadn't known it was there, I doubt anyone would have found it. It occurred to me years later, that that was the whole point of it.

We had to open the doorway to the temple together, said master Yoda, only together, would we be able to do it.

I closed my eyes, feeling the Force interact with the midichlorians inside me and becoming one. I extended my hand and visualized the entrance in my mind. When I saw it, I almost gasped. The entire doorway's system was extremely complex, and most of the structure was made of Ice and rock. It was massive, and a little intimidating, but I wasn't alone. Together, we would open it. And so we did.

Down came the first layers of Ice and disappeared underneath the surface to reveal an opening almost as tall as the glacier was. When the light hit it, the rays of sunlight were split and formed a myriad of rainbows that lead into the temple. Once we were inside we watched as Master Yoda used the Force to move a contraption hanging from the ceiling, rotating it so that the crystals on it would be angled just right. When the sun hit those crystals, they intensified and focused it on a wall of ice at the opposite end of the cave. The Ice melted and cascaded down the stairs in a manner not unlike a river's.

"Inside, find your crystals you will. But also yourselves and your fears confront you must. Yes."

Said Master Yoda. "Until sundown you have, or trapped inside the cave you will be."

And without further prompting, in we went. Nahdar and I made an unspoken decision to stick together, the terrain was unknown and hostile, and we knew when we were in over our heads. But the cave didn't really seem to care for our plans, because once we found ourselves far enough from the group, the ground cracked underneath our feet. Nahdar fell in and panic started to get to me. I called for him once, twice, the third time I called, I was yelling. A groan and a little coughing later, Nahdar responded.

"Stop yelling, Foreas, I'm fine. It isn't as deep as it looks."

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" I asked into the hole.

I couldn't see anything and the only indicator I had of anything going on was his breathing.

"I'm okay, It won't even bruise."

"Okay hang on I'm coming do-"

"Don't be stupid, stay there." He interrupted. "If we were separated like this there must be a reason for it. This is as far as we go."

I didn't like it. The cave was dark, and gloomy, and cold, and it freaked me out a little. But I knew Nahdar was right. We were here to find our crystals, to find ourselves and to overcome our fears. Losing my friends- however temporarily- was something I would have to go through sooner or later. I needed to learn how to trust them and myself to do our respective parts. Letting go of the need to control every situation was the key to being kinder to myself.

"Take care, Nahdar. I'll see you outside."

…

Finding your way inside a maze of frozen caverns in the dark, on your own at the age of thirteen is not anyone's idea of fun. If we were under normal circumstances, to most children it would probably be traumatic, some might even develop a fear of closed environments even. But we were supposed to be exempt from that. We were not normal children, not anymore. We had been given the training needed to stay calm, to survive, to adapt and to accomplish. It still didn't make the task any less daunting. We were under time constraints and they were not the flexible kind. So I did the only thing I knew how to do: I closed my eyes and concentrated. But all I heard was Nahdar's scream for help.

I didn't think about it, I ran. I ran with all my might, following the echo of my friend's cry for help. I reached the end of a cliff and there he was, barely holding on to the icy edge. I ran to take his hand and try to lift him up, but before I could grab him, he slipped. I saw my friend fall into the dark abyss before me and disappear from sight. I couldn't see the bottom and neither could I hear him hit the ground, or scream for that matter. He could have been hurt, unconscious, he could have died even. I was not about to leave him alone and hurt down there.

Now I should say I was never a big fan of heights, never will be. I learned to control that fear over the years, but at that point, I'd never had an excuse to force myself to face it. But I was not about to let it stop me from helping Nahdar. So with hands shaking and breath trembling I started making my way down the cliffside. Don't look down, I told myself over and over again. I forced myself to only look at the wall and where it was that I would put my hands or feet next. I slipped several times, and started crying at some point halfway down. But with hot tears burning my eyes, and rolling down my cold cheeks, I kept going. Fear or not, Nahdar needed me, and I would not leave him alone, I would not abandon him.

Once I reached the bottom I realized there was nothing there. Not blood, not footprints, not a single disturbance in the icy surface that indicated someone had fallen there. What I did find was a tiny light shining on the floor, right beneath the surface. A Crystal. It annoyed me a little, that the cave had decided to pray on two of my worst fears. But I did understand why it had been necessary. And while it had not been fun, it had served its purpose. I had faced my fears and won. And now, I was finally worthy.

I wiped the tears from my face, they were starting to freeze on my cheeks. I then took the buckle from my belt and used it to crack the ice layer covering the crystal. It wasn't thick so the crystal was free in no time. I put the belt back on and the crystal in one of my pouches before heading for an opening on the other side of the chasm.

On my way back, I let the Force guide me, and an all consuming sense of peace engulfed me. My previous annoyance was gone, and as I neared the cave's entrance I felt like the Kriari exiting this place was a different person.

"The first to find their way out you are, Kriari." Said Master Yoda once I walked into the main hall.

"It wasn't easy, Master. I won't be forgetting this anytime soon."

"Stick with you forever, some lessons do."