Chapter 12
Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Thank you so much for all your reviews!
-Innocentia999
Lilla's POV:
I felt something warm and wet as I groaned and opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Kedves's face right near mine with a joyful and carefree grin on his face, his tongue lolling out as he panted and licked my face again. I grinned and chuckled as I sat up, causing him to jump off my chest and rub against my side for attention.
"Thank you my friend for being probably the only bright spot in this day" I said, scratching the middle of his back.
It was then that I gazed over and noticed Heim's cot was empty.
He must've gotten up without me hearing him.
Just as I was thinking that the door opened and there he stood.
He strode past me without acknowledging my presence and to be honest I preferred it that way as I still didn't want to converse with him beyond what was necessary. Not that there was much to converse about with him anyway as all he usually did was bark orders, snap at me not to discuss things, or simply ignore me.
"Uncle?" Peter suddenly appeared in the room, coming through the door that Heim had left ajar.
It was then that he glanced over and saw me and his eyes widened. Before Heim could object he scurried to the side of the bed.
"You're still here! I thought Grandfather had hit you to death!"
The day after I had been beaten Peter had been taken by his visiting great-grandparents to stay with them for the summer and he was expected to arrive back last night, which apparently he had. I felt saddened as I remembered that he had been present at the dinner table when that despicable Herr Heim had dragged me from the room screaming. No doubt he also heard my screams as I was being hit and kicked from the hallway. No child should ever have to be witness to such a spectacle.
Before I could answer Heim cut in "Peter what have I told you about talking to her?"
"Can I just ask her something?! Please?!" he begged.
"Of course what would you like to know" I broke in, giving him a soft smile.
"Do not speak to him Jew!"
"I'll speak to whoever I want. You do not own me" I replied, keeping my voice down for Peter's sake.
"All right that's it! Peter get out!" he snapped. Tears permeated Peters eyes as he dashed from the room.
"Peter!" I called, throwing the sheets off and scrambling after him towards the door. However before I could I felt an iron grip on my arm and the next think I knew Heim had tossed me on the floor. He slammed the door shut and bolted it, his eyes blazing.
"When will you learn it is pointless to resist me?!"
"I will never stop resisting you. You may hurt me but you will never break me."
It was then that he stalked towards me and pressed me to the floor, his legs squeezing my hips so I couldn't move and he held my wrists at bent angles above my head.
"Is this what I need to do! Is this what you want!"
"Get off me!" I cried.
"Clearly you have forgotten your place! I granted you leniency but you have challenged me for the last time! You will learn to tame your tongue!"
"Get off me you evil psychopath! How much more must I suffer at your hand! You have already killed Mama and Veronica!" I cried, almost hysterically.
"So what if I did?" he sneered.
"So it's true! You killed them at the chambers! You're books weren't the only thing I went through that first day! I found the photograph in your desk! You gassed them!"
"I gassed a lot of people that day sweetheart!"
"How could you! Get off me!"
All of a sudden he bent down and captured my lips in a bruising kiss. Yet, that also meant his grip on my arm had loosened. I seized the opportunity and pulled my arm free and smacked his face. I then took advantage of his disorientation to shove him off me and sit back against the wall, and he did the same on the opposite side of the doorframe leading to the bathroom. Instead of rage however, his face was contorted in a stunned expression.
"You awful man! I prayed for you because the Lord asked me to, but you are lost to hell already forever! You deserve hell for all you've done! Who would ever want you! Who could ever love you?! I certainly never could! You have destroyed my family, my life, and now you have assaulted me! You are a coward and a monster and that is all you will ever be TO ME!"
He still continued to gaze at me dumbly with that shocked expression.
He didn't even move as I hurried into the bathroom and changed into my dress. He was still sitting there when I came out, staring at the spot on the floor where he had held me down, his eyes blank and glassy.
I shook my head in disgust and fled from the room in search of Peter.
It wasn't hard to figure out which was his room as I caught the sound of sniffling coming through a door left ajar at the end of the hallway. I peered through the crack to see the poor child sitting on his bed, holding his knees pulled up to his chest, his face read and covered with tear streaks.
I softly pushed the door open.
"Peter?" I asked calmly.
Peter said nothing but, only gazed at me.
"Oh sweetie" I went and sat next to him on the bed.
"Would you like a hug?"
He nodded.
I pulled him to me and his hands slipped around my waist as I held him, stroking his hair.
"Oh sweetheart you're trembling" I remarked as I felt him shaking like a leaf. "Shh now it's over." I stroked his hair.
I was silent for a moment as I held him and then I spoke.
"I am so sorry you had to see that and see the incident with your grandfather."
He sat up and wiped one of his tear-stained cheeks.
"It's ok. Im used to it."
"Whatever do you mean?" I inquired gently.
"Grandma and Gradpa fight all the time. They yell and they throw things. Sometimes he even hits Grandma."
My heart filled with such ache and sorrow for him I could hardly stop tears of my own falling from my eyes.
"That's not fair to you. You don't deserve this Peter."
"Uncle told me the sooner I learn that life isn't fair the better."
"Well, he's wrong. You shouldn't have to see these sorts of things."
"You don't deserve to be treated the way Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle treat you. Why do they do it? What have you done?" Peter asked.
Oh how could I explain such things to a little innocent child.
"I'm a Jew sweetheart" I said softly at last.
"But your really nice" he commented, which made me smile sadly. In this moment Kedves saved me from explaining any further on the subject as he pushed the door open and ambled in, his signature happy face plastered on.
"Is that a new dog? Come here boy!" Peter called.
Kedves jumped up on the bed, Peter scratching his ears and neck and I felt my heart soar as a smile broke through on the little boys face.
"His name is Kedves" I remarked as I scratched his back.
"What's that mean?"
"It's Hungarian. It means kind."
"What's your name?"
I hesitated. If I told him my name it might somehow get back to Heim.
"I can't tell you my name but I can give you something to call me."
"Ok."
"May I whisper it?"
He leant forward conspiratorially and I whispered in his ear: Ruzca, obviously not mentioning that that was my last name.
"Ruzca. That's cool."
"Thank you."
All of a sudden Kedves jumped on Peter and started licking him all over his face. My heart soared once again as Peter broke out in a fit of laughter, the first I'd ever heard from him since I'd started working at the Heim's.
Just then his laughter stopped as I picked up the whistle of Herr Heim making his way down the hall.
"Grandpa's coming! Quick hide under the bed Ruzca!" he whispered urgently.
I figured that was as good an idea as any as I hurriedly squeezed myself underneath the mattress.
Only seconds later I saw Herr Heims boots on the floor.
"Peter, how are you this morning my boy?"
"Fine grandfather" Peter said, obviously trying to keep the tremor from his voice.
"I thought I heard you talking to somone."
"I was just talking to the dog."
"Ahh I see."
It was at that moment I had the sudden urge to sneeze due all the dust underneath the bed. I scrunched my nose and held my breath.
Please God do not let me sneeze. Please God.
The mattress squeaked under Herr Heim's weight as he sat on the bed next to Peter.
"I thought you and I could go for a short drive."
"Grandfather why is the person who works for us so skinny?"
I had to hold my breath to keep from coughing at his direct question.
Herr Heim sighed for a moment, probably thinking how to begin.
Finally he spoke.
"The thing is Peter, that person, well she's not really a person at all. None of her kind are."
"The Jews?"
"That's right. And grandfather and Uncle are working very hard to make the world a better place for you to grow up in."
"How?"
"All you need to know is that we are doing very important work for our country Peter" Heim said, stepping into the room. "Now go on the drive and spend some time with your grandfather" Heim said gently.
"Ok" Peter reluctantly agreed.
"Good. Come along" Herr Heim said, leading Peter from the room.
Yet, Heim remained behind until their voices had faded away and then shut the door.
"You can come out now" he said.
I didn't dare move.
He leant down on his hands and knees, his face appearing to my right.
"Come out. It's alright, they're gone."
"Go away" I said miserably, resting my hands on my arms.
He sighed and bent himself back up, sitting upright with his back against the mattress. He was silent for several seconds before speaking in the gentlest tone I'd ever heard from him since I met him.
"I apologize for my actions this morning. You have every right to be angry with me, to hate me even if that is what you wish after how I've treated you and what I did to your mother and sister."
"What sort of man are you!" I sobbed. "You murder my family, yet bring me out of hard labor. You threaten me yet save me from a beating. You spread rumors that you have touched me and abused me but you never do so. You assault me and then you save me. What is it that you want so badly from me!"
He utterly stunned me with his next statement.
"I want your heart. I am in love with you."
"You're lying" I sputtered, absolutely flabbergasted. "Do you honestly think I would ever be with you?! If you love someone you don't hurt them!"
"You're right. I have behaved unforgivably and I realized in that moment that you shoved me away and I gazed at the floor that I had been hurting you because I was trying to push you away, out of my head, out of my heart. You torture me with love whenever I am in your presence. I know that we could never be together. We are supposed to be enemies. Our families would never accept it."
"Then why tell me this?"
"Because you are the only I can tell. I wanted you to know the truth even if we could never be."
I was silent for a moment still unable to fully process all this information.
"You probably should get out from under there. My father will be back soon."
Begrudgingly I had to admit he was right and I slipped out from underneath the bed, dusting myself off.
He made his way to the door.
"Wait!" I said.
He turned around his hand still on the doorknob, eyebrows raised.
"Find my Father and let him work here."
"What?" he asked, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.
"If you are telling the truth and you love me as you say, find my Father and bring him to work here. He will probably not survive much longer if he's still alive and in hard labor."
Heim gazed at me for a few moments before nodding.
"I suppose I owe you that much."
I merely nodded solemnly in response as Heim, Kedves and I made our way out of Peter's room.