Chapter 16

Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Thank you so much for all your reviews and I'm glad that you're all still enjoying! PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think of this chapter! I apologize for the delay as I have been very busy with work and been so exhausted and I've also been struggling because I recently lost my job and with depression. God Bless and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all :)

-Innocentia999

Lilla's POV:

When I arrived to work the next day, I was greeted by the sight of Heim and several other Officers and what looked to be two SS Doctors, playing a game of cards at a smaller table in the dining room. Several of the female officers sat by the men, observing the game. Volkenrath swiftly left my side and joined them though a look of irritation crossed her face for a second when she couldn't snag a spot next to Heim. Some of the men were also smoking, the fumes from their cigarettes curling into the air in wisps. I strode past as silently and quickly as possible as the last thing I wanted to do was attract attention from any of them. Thankfully, they didn't even notice me as all of them remained thoroughly engrossed in the game.

As I headed to the the stairs to get to the second floor in order to grab the laundry I spotted Papa in the kitchen, vigorously scrubbing the countertops. When I entered Papa stopped and gazed at me, giving me a warm morning grin in greeting. I smiled back but was disconcerted to see very pronounced dark circles under his eyes.

"Papa you look as if you haven't slept all night, is everything alright?" I inquired, putting a hand upon his shoulder.

"Oh yes don't worry about me love I'm fine" he replied, though I could tell he was only putting on his signature brave face.

I gave him a knowing glance.

Papa sighed.

"I can see there's no fooling you as usual. I haven't slept well. Nightmares have plagued me."

"About being here or…?"

"Yes that two, though mostly they've been of the first war." Papa as a young man had been drafted into the war in 1915 when he had turned 18. He didn't speak much about it and we'd never pushed him to, though Mama had often spoken about the horrible conditions of the trenches he and the other soldiers of the Empire* had endured. Papa had seen soldiers in his unit blown to bits, had to endure freezing cold nights with his boots soaked from the trenches and/or chewed on by rats and had to drag wounded comrades with missing limbs or blood dripping down their faces while shrieking in absolute agony out of harms way to the medics. He'd saved the lives of countless of his comrades and had been awarded the *Gold Bravery Medal, the highest military decoration in the empire at the time. We all couldn't have been more proud of him, yet he paid a high price each day living with the scars of war. I still recalled glimpsing his old dog tags, his name clearly etched into the metal: Lieutenant Mordecai Ruzca.

"Lilla? Lilla?" Papa's voice brought me back from my thoughts.

"What?"

"You ok? You're mind was somewhere else."

"Yes I'm fine." Then the memory of Rupert's traumatic triggering and subsequent panic attack suddenly came back to me and I couldn't tell you why, yet I felt somehow drawn to share it with Papa.

"You're not the only one who's been dreaming lately."

"What do you mean?"

"Heim had a panic attack the other day and I helped him through it. He told me it's because he get's memories. He seems to have the combat fatigue same as you but he says it's specifically from memories beginning in his childhood."

"Hmmm" Papa said in his usual way when he was about to ask all sorts of questions to find out more about a patient struggling with the condition.

"You say you helped him through it. Did something seem to trigger this episode?"

"Yes, he was irritable but nothing out of the ordinary until Volkenrath came in and started massaging his shoulders even though he told her several times to stop touching him. When she didn't relent he reacted strongly and yelled at her to leave. Thats when his breathing started becoming shorter and I had to help him."

"Hmm, it would seem he's certainly triggered by a lack of respect of personal boundaries. It would seem that it makes him feel out of control, from what you told me."

"What do you mean out of control?"

"Like he's trapped or paralyzed and just wants to get away. He needs to have control over what happens to his body in order to feel safe. Though to know more I'd obviously have to talk to him myself, and I get the feeling he's not going to agree to that."

I nodded and lapsed into silence for a moment.

"You don't blame me for helping him do you?"

"Blame you? No. Besides you could hardly just leave him there to suffer and maybe injure himself and live with that on your conscience could you?"

"No I suppose not. Speaking of Heim, I'd better go and get started on the laundry or else he might throw a fit."

Papa snorted as I exited the kitchen and made my way up the stairs, but then remembered my responsibility of feeding Artur and Kedves. A chill went up my spine as I remembered that their bowls were in the living room right where all the officers were. I just couldn't simply leave it till later because the Heim's would obviously notice the animals hadn't been fed on time.

With a sigh and fear tingling down my spine I headed to the living room. To my astonishment I glimpsed Kedves curled up against Artur's side, fast asleep while Artur remained alert and observing the room as if he was standing guard over the smaller dog. I felt a twinge of regret for being so unkind to him at the river that day. After all he couldn't be faulted for how he was trained to act, or for the actions of his master. I resolved to be kinder to him from then on.

I kept my eyes down and tried to appear as inconspicuous as possible, making my way to the bag full of Kibble placed next to the two bowls, a larger one for Artur and a smaller one for Kedves.

All was well…until I grabbed the kibble bag and the dogs started to yap in excitement.

"My god someone shut those animals up I can't concentrate!" one of the Officers snapped.

"Perhaps you need to work more on your focus then Karl" Heim replied nonchalantly, without even looking up from his card hand.

"You! Come here!" Karl snapped in my direction suddenly. My heart pounded and that familiar tingle of fear made it's way up my spine as I moved to Karl's side of the table.

"Yes sir?" I inquired, trying to keep the slight tremor out of my voice and remain calm.

"A question: do you enjoy causing meaningless interruptions or are you just too stupid to figure out barking animals are a distraction during a game of poker?!"

"Forget her Karl let's just play" one of the doctors spoke up, sounding bored.

"No no I wanna know the rat's answer" Karl replied, his eyes blazing.

"I have orders from Officer Heim to feed the animals on time everyday. I am not a rat, and have no interest in continuing this conversation any further" I replied firmly, making to leave. However, Karl gripped my arm and tugged me so hard that I was swung back around to face him.

"You go when I say you can go" he snarled, his face meet inches from mine.

"Careful Karl, I don't think Rupert would take well to you doing some damage to his prize. You know he was the best of us in training and would beat your sorry ass in a split second" one of the other Officers snickered.

Karl whirled around to face them, absolutely livid, though still keeping my arm in an iron grip.

"That is not true!"

"Uh yeah it is" another across the table spoke up with a smirk.

Heim also silently smirked as he dealt another card.

"Alright Rupert since you're obviously feeling so cocky today, I challenge you to a rematch."

Heim silently placed down his cards.

"Alright but I warn you your never going to beat me, so I'll give you a chance to back out first."

Karl's face practically turned red.

"Since you're so sure of your ability how about we raise the stakes?!"

Heim's cocked an eyebrow.

"And what exactly did you have in mind?"

Now it was Karl's turn to smirk as he nodded his head towards me.

"Her. If I win you give her to me."

"And if I win then I keep her for as long as I wish without any of your interference AND you never get to make a claim on her again. Unless of course you're afraid to lose."

"Done."

"Well, then we have our bet. William be the referee for us."

The Officer called William was practically giddy as Heim and Karl stripped off their uniform jackets so they wouldn't be obstructed while fighting, and then lined up facing each other. William stood between them.

"Gentleman you know the rules. There will be no victory until one of you decides to yield."

Heim and Karl simply continued to stare each other down, ready to make their first move. My heart pounded as all I could do was simply remain frozen to the spot.

"Fight!" William called, stepping out of their way.

I couldn't say what overcame me at that moment, but I knew that all I wanted was to get away from everything, from the pain and the heartache of the hell I found myself in. And it would only get infinitely worse if Heim lost the fight.

I slowly slipped from the room while the attention of the attention of the Officers was diverted and softly scampered towards the front door, pulling it open. The sky had turned to gray and the rain was poring down in a torrent, but I didn't care as I raced out the door, for once free of anybody's watchful eye, and charged toward the woods, not caring where I was going. The sound of thunder crackled across the sky as I fled into the forest, the rain soaking my dress and hair. I did not know how far I'd been sprinting, but all of a sudden I tripped over a large branch and tumbled into a small muddy hole.

"Oww!" I exclaimed as I felt a pain in my ankle.

When I tried to get up a bolt of pain shot through my foot and I suspected I had probably sprained it.
I limped to the edge of the hole and used arms to pull myself out, gazing at my surroundings. It was clear that I was hopelessly lost as unfamiliar forest surround me on all sides.

I flopped over exhaustedly on my back, my eyes gazing towards the sky as raindrops continued to pelt my face.

Please Jesus. Please.

Rupert's POV:

After Karl had thoroughly failed to beat me, again, I decided to go and retrieve some lager from the kitchen, the fight having left me aching for a drink. I found Lilla's Father there, just finishing the counters. As soon as his eyes alighted on me, he approached me swiftly yet cautiously.

"Officer Heim?"

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if you'd seen Lilla. I saw her leave through the front door and at first I thought she was just going to fetch the basin that she leaves on the porch from time to time but she hasn't returned."

My eyes widened.

"How long ago was this?"

"While I could hear you having your….competition."

I glanced outside but there was no sign of her in the yard.

Lilla's Father must've taken my glance away for disinterest, because the next thing I knew he was grasping my hand, causing me to almost jump out of my skin and push him away in surprise before I managed to stop myself in time.

"Please, I know that to you we are just Jews, but she mean's everything to me. I will do anything you ask PLEASE just help me find her and get her back alive" he pleaded. His gaze penetrated me, a gaze so full of fear and… selfless loving concern. I doubt my Father would've ever been so worried if I went missing, and I knew he would rather die than plead to anyone for anything. His great pride would never allow it. Yet, here this man was, of a people I had been told to hate, told that they were nothing but cheaters and liars, that they were inferior and only good when dead, showing more concern for his family than I had ever received from anyone in my life, even my mother at times.

"I'll find her" I suddenly found myself saying.

"Thank you" he replied, gratefully, tears welling in his eyes.

He glanced outside again.

"I suppose it'll be impossible to use your dog to track her. The rain would've thrown off the scent by now."

I wanted to ask him how he knew that but this wasn't the time.

"Come on" I said as we made our way outside to begin the search. Hopefully we wouldn't be too late.

*Austro-Hungarian Empire, which dissolved following the end of WWI in 1918.

*The Gold Bravery Medal was the highest award a soldier could ever receive in the Austro-Hungarian military. Of the 250,000-400,000 Jewish soldiers who served their country, only 79 Jews were awarded this honor.

Wow this was a hard chapter to write! PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think! God Bless!