Chapter 18

Hey Everyone! Sorry for the delay! Hope this chapter makes up for it! I've missed writing Rupert and Lilla and I'm so excited to bring you guys another chapter! Reviews are welcome! God Bless :)
-Innocentia999

Lilla's POV:

The moment I stepped into the hallway Papa came up the stairs, broom in hand. When he saw me his eyes widened and he waved frantically for me to step back into the bedroom. I soon realized why as I glanced down and observed that I was still in fresh clothes and not my prisoner dress. I hurriedly ducked back into the room, closing the door and bolting it, my adrenaline pumping. I gazed over to see Heim nonchalantly plopped onto the edge of the bed, the Aschenputtel book open in his hands to the page with the inscription from Otto.

"Why didn't you say something before I went out?"

"I heard your Father coming up the stairs. I knew he would warn you" Heim replied, still not glancing up from the message, much to my irritation.

"You could hear that?"

"Mmmm-hmmm"

"Well what if it had been your Father instead?"

"It wouldn't be. Father's out today."

"Well how do you know he hadn't simply come back early?"

"Trust me he wouldn't do that."

"Would you please look at me when I'm talking to you?"

He replied nothing, only moved his thumb across Otto's name on the page.

"He was your brother wasn't he?"

He finally glanced up.

"What?"

"Otto, the man who wrote the inscription. The other boy in the photo. He's your twin isn't he?"

Heim visibly tensed.

"He was."

"Was? You mean he's gone…"

"You know I don't wanna talk about it!" he snapped.

I felt my eyes sting with tears at his tone and pivoted, making my way to the bathroom.

"Lilla please wait" his tone suddenly changed to almost pleading.

I sharply turned back around.

He put the book down and stood up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I…I'm not very good at talking about Otto."

"Why?" I inquired, curious despite myself.

"Otto he…was my closest friend growing up. Really my only friend. My mother was often distracted and my father…well you've seen very clearly what he's like. Otto was the only one I felt I could ever trust. He protected me at school when the other boys would pick on me. He was the only one ever on my side until…"

"Until he passed away?" I finished.

Heim picked up the Achenputtel book, tapping the cover with his hand.

"This was his last gift to me, before he and my sister-in-law Edith drove out one night and never came home. They perished in a car accident."

"Oh poor Peter" I replied, feeling even more sorry than I ever thought possible for the little child.

Heim placed the book back down on the bed and took several steps closer to me.

"When I lost him I wanted to stop living. I didn't even wanna go on breathing."

"And yet you could take Veronica's life without a second thought, as well as the siblings of so many others. Did you not consider that maybe we have families too? That maybe we feel the same way? That maybe after losing Veronica I struggle to continue breathing each day? That maybe poor Peter, who's crying out for your love and affection continues to suffer so cruelly because you wallow in your own misery and refuse to give him the one thing he need's the most?! You have hurt so many people more than you will ever know and you can never undo it!"

I sprinted into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, sinking against the door and sobbing, not even caring that he could hear me.

"Lilla please come out" he said gently.

"Just go away! You've hurt me enough!" I continued sobbing into my knees.

"Lilla please open the door."

"Forget about it! You'd probably just murder me too!"

"Lilla you know that isn't true, you're just upset."

"I said go away!"

"Lilla what do you want?"

I paused a minute. He'd never asked me that before.

"Lilla please tell me what I can do? It hurts me to see you so upset."

"What I want you can't give me!"

"What is it you want? Please tell me."

"I want to go home! I want Veronica and Mama back! I want to close my eyes and be back in my house in Budapest with Mama, Papa and I all happy together around the Christmas tree like we were last Christmas! I want this all to be some crazy nightmare that I'm gonna wake up from and not be real! I want to go back to my old life! I want a reason to smile again!"

I collapsed into even deeper sobs that began wracking my whole body and collapsed on the floor in a little ball.

"Lilla, Lilla are you okay? Please open the door."

I ignored him and continued crying.

All of sudden the key turned in the lock and there he was standing there.

"Why did you come in?!"

"I heard you fall on the floor. I was worried."

My breathing became so quick I could feel my heart racing and my head began to feel light.

"Lilla you're turning white" he knelt down and urgently placed his hand on the side of my head.

I barely heard him as I continued to breathe rapidly.

"Lilla hold my hand. It'll help you to calm down."

He held out his hand.

I glanced at it, my whole body trembling and feeling lighter.

"I'm only hear to help you. But you have to decide whether or not to trust me. I won't force you to."

After a moment I slowly lifted my hand…and then let it fall into his.

He squeezed it reassuringly.

"Now just breathe Lilla, I'm right here. You're not alone."

I concentrated on his soothing words, every time I felt panic rising within me I squeezed his hand. Slowly the attacks of panic and hyperventilation became fewer and farther between, until finally my breathing returned to normal.

"Lilla are you feeling better?" The concern in his voice made him sound almost like an entirely different man.

Exhaustion permeated my body so I could only nod and get out "Exhausted."

"Let me help you to bed then."

I was too drained to do anything but agree.

I leant against him as he lifted me off the floor and carried me to bed. He pulled back the sheets and softly placed me down, gently tucking the blankets comfortably around me.

"Are you comfortable?"

I nodded, my eyes already half-closed.

"My work…"

"Don't worry about it Lilla. Just rest. I'll be right here if you need anything."

That was the last thing I heard before I rolled over and fell asleep.

Rupert's POV:

As she slumped into sleep, I lugged a chair to the bedside and softly sat down, attempting to make as little noise as possible. I slouched forward slightly, rubbing my thumbs together as I gazed at her.

You are a coward and a Monster and that is all you will ever be TO ME!

Peter continues to suffer so cruelly because you wallow in your own misery!

Did you consider that maybe we have families too?! That maybe we feel the same way?!

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. A chill ran down my spine. What if it was Father who actually HAD come home early for once from his duties?

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Don't worry, it's only me. I came to check on Lilla" Mordecai's voice echoed through the door.

I inwardly gave a sigh of relief and made my way to the door, unlatching the bolt and allowing him through.

"How is she?" he made his way to her bedside, placing a hand upon her forehead.

"She's alright. She just had an attack of panic and emotion. I helped her through it by letting her squeeze my hand. She said she was exhausted afterward so I put her back to bed and let her know I'd stay if she needed anything."

"May I be permitted to stay with her myself for awhile? Just until she wakes?"

"I'm afraid I'll only be able to allow you 10 minutes or so. If my Father comes home and finds the house only half cleaned he'll immediately be suspicious of what you've been doing."

"A fair point I suppose."

His eyes than alighted upon the Aschenputtel book, giving an almost nostalgic smile as he picked it up.

"Aschenputtel. I used to read this to Lilla as a girl. It was her favorite."

"So she's told me."

"I remember she would always be excited at the end when Aschenputtel found her prince. She would even pretend to be Aschenputtel. Perhaps this story is what inspired her to eventually start writing her own adventures."

"She's a writer?!" I asked, almost shocked.

Mordecai glanced up at me.

"Not professionally, but she's been scribbling down stories since she was at least ten years old and her works are quite fantastic in my opinion. However, please don't talk to her about it."

"Why?"

"She can be shy about sharing her writing with others. In fact I probably shouldn't have let this slip at all to you. She doesn't like other people outside the family knowing about her writing. And when she has shared her work under certain circumstances to people who are not relatives she has always written under an anonymous pen name."

"What works has she written?" I inquired, my curiosity rising.

"That is for Lilla alone to tell you."

As if on cue, Lilla began to stir. Her eyes fluttered open and fell on Mordecai.

"Papa?"

"Hey my love how are you feeling?" Mordecai placed the book down and took her hand, placing himself beside her.

"Tired."

"Don't give me another scare like you did last night young lady" he replied with false sterness, tapping her forehead with his finger.

She grinned softly.

"Don't worry I don't plan on it."

"Good because my heart cannot take the strain."

"I'll be back in ten minutes" I said.

Mordecai nodded at me and then began conversing with Lilla as I exited the room and shut the door softly behind me.

I began to head down the hallway, there was someone I needed to see after all.

Peter's door was slightly ajar and I glimpsed him scratching Kedves's belly, a goofy grin upon his face.

I pushed the door open.

"Peter?" I said softly.

Peter immediately straightened up, a look of trepidation in his eyes.

"Whatever it is Uncle, I swear I didn't do it."

My heart squeezed in guilt and shame. He thought I would only come to berate him. Then again after how I've been acting I couldn't blame him in the least.

"Peter, don't be afraid. I'm not here because you did something wrong."

"Really?"

"Yes. Here sit down" Peter leant against his pillows while I positioned myself slightly on my side to face him.

I glanced down for a moment before looking Peter in the eye.

"Peter I owe you an apology. I know I haven't been treating you like the Uncle you deserve and I'm so very sorry."

"I know why. I remind you of Papa and you don't like being reminded of him. I won't bother you."

"Oh Peter. I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way. I was only thinking of myself, and the fault is mine not yours."

"Really?"

"Come here" I opened my arms and he softly jumped into them, embracing me.

"Please don't ever think your a bother to me. And as for your Papa… we can talk about him whenever you want."

Peter pulled back.

"Really?! Can I ask you anything about him?!"

"Any time you'd like. In fact why don't you come with me and I'll show you his favorite book and we can read it together."

"Really?! You'll read with me?!"

"Sure. In fact how about I read to you every night after I get back from work?"

Peter's face flooded with such joy as he jumped into my arms again.

"I'll take that as a yes" I chuckled.

I released him and said "Come on let's go find your Father's book."

Peter sprang off the bed with me and Kedves followed closely on our heels.

Wow this was a hard chapter to write! PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think! God Bless!