CH1: McKinley-Freshman Year

Ninth grade is awesome! We're finally at the high school which is a big change. The school is a lot bigger and there's tons of new kids from all the other schools in the district. It's like a test of the bonds of friendship when you get to ninth grade. With all these new kids coming together, new friendships happen, and sometimes they test your old relationships. New cliques are formed this year that often break up long time childhood friends, but not for me. Me and my best friend have an unbreakable bond, a brotherhood that could NEVER end.

I was pretty excited when I got my schedule and learned that my best friend Puck (well, his real name is Noah Puckerman, but he ONLY likes to be called Puck - I actually gave him that nickname in 2nd grade) is in most of my classes. Next week me and him are gonna tryout for the football team together.

Puck's cool, but sometimes he gets us in trouble with his crazy ideas, like that thing with the firecrackers (we really didn't mean to catch the neighbor's laundry on fire - really not sure why it was still hanging outside at night though). My mom thinks he could be a bad influence, so she says I have to try to be a better influence on him. I don't know what she's talking about, we're just two guys having fun. But I don't wanna disappoint my mom, so I guess I've gotta be the good guy and try to keep Puck from causing too much trouble.

Me and Puck probably became really good buddies because neither of us has a dad. Well, my dad died when I was a baby, so I never knew him and never had any kind of fatherly influence as a kid, other than my mom trying to fill the role of both parents. But Puck, his dad was around for at least part of his childhood years. They weren't the best years for him and his mom and little sister though; his parents fought a lot, mostly because his dad was kind of a deadbeat who drank alot and eventually left them all.

I think Puck gets a lot of his 'bad boy' ideas from the need to prove he can be a 'real man' in spite of the fact that his dad walked out on him. He says it's better that his dad left, because his mom doesn't cry as much anymore. He also says when he grows up, if he ever has a wife and kids he'll NEVER treat them as badly as his old man did. But since Puck became the only man of the house after his dad left, he had to grow up a lot faster than most kids our age. That's I think why we got to be such good friends. He liked teaching me the new things he'd figure out, things that a real dad maybe should have taught us but he had to learn on his own. He and I shared everything growing up: all our secrets and fears and dreams. Even though I didn't always believe some of the crazy things he told me and even though our personalities became a lot different as we've grown up, we still have that life-long connection forged in shared experiences and growing up together. And even though we're not related by blood, Puck will always be my brother, and I'll always be his. We got each other's backs, forever. I can't think of anything that would ever end our friendship.

. . . . .

Back when we were in elementary school, the music teacher had tested everyone's 'attitude' for musical instruments (I guess meaning like, our natural ability to play different things). Almost everyone can be good at something. Some kids have the dexterity for guitar or piano, others are good at wind instruments like flutes or trumpets. I tested REALLY well on drums, and I really wanted to learn to play them. I think this kinda drove my mom a little crazy at first. But I guess she figured, since I didn't have a dad, at least she could give me anything else I wanted that might make me happy.

So I've been playing the drums for like 7 years now, which is like, half my life already! And I'm getting pretty good at it too, so good that the music teacher back in middle school had wanted me to try out for marching band. Don't get me wrong, I love music - playing it and even signing sometimes. I dunno though, I've been playing football and baseball since 6th grade, and I'm kinda more interested in sports right now so I don't think that combination of activities would work out too well together (Jocks and band kids don't really hang out together - which is kinda strange to think about, since we attend all the same events together?). But she also says there's a jazz ensemble I could join that started in 8th grade and continues through high school. I'm still thinking about it, but I don't think I'll have time, what with football and other sports, plus video games and homework…. and girls… :)

. . . . .

Being 15 is sorta cool, the girls are really starting to notice me all of a sudden - which can be super hot but also sometimes super scary! But there's a lot of challenges too. At least I don't have too many pimples or a lot of extra facial hair yet like some guys, but I hit another growth spurt again. I've already been the tallest kid in my class since like the 4th grade. It's pretty embarrassing sometimes, being called 'giraffe' and 'jolly green giant' or 'big bird'… but it's nice to see overtop of people, like in long lines and stuff, or to be able to help people reach things from the top shelf and stuff. Mom likes that I can help her reach things around the house now without her having to climb on a step stool anymore, so that's pretty awesome. I mean, I'd hate for her to lose her balance and fall and get hurt. And I actually like helping people, especially my mom; it makes me feel good.

Being so tall can be a headache too though. Like literally, I hit my head on all kinds of things. I also get a sore neck from having to duck down all the time to other people's height to hear or see things. Whoever designs cars, beds, sofas, and doorways and stuff needs to consider us tall guys too… not everyone is like 5'6". I either hit my head in archways, or my feet hang off the bed, or I don't have enough leg room - which is really uncomfortable sometimes. It can be annoying. Mom has a hard time finding good fitting clothes for me too (I SERIOUSLY hate going clothes shopping with mom.. It takes way too much time trying on stuff, when I could be cruising the mall with Puck checking out girls, or at home playing COD with Puck, or sleeping or riding bikes or something else.. ANYTHING else). The doctor thinks I still have a couple more inches to go before I'm done growing, which will make me like, SUPER tall - over six feet, like basketball player tall (I might try out for that too since that season is opposite of football).

. . . . .

As much as it can be a hassle and my bones kinda ache sometimes, I'd still rather be really tall than really short. Like, there's this girl at school, she's so little. I bet she's barely 5 feet tall. One day I was at my locker, and noticed she was trying to reach stuff in the top part of her locker, so she had to keep hopping up and down - which was really cute to watch. She was wearing this really short little skirt - that was kinda AWESOME, 'cause the skirt was like, lifting up every time she jumped up… haha. Well anyway, I decided to be nice and help her out by reaching the book for her. She smiled really big at me with the prettiest bright white teeth. But then she just kinda stared at me and never said anything… maybe she thought I was just a super tall weirdo? I dunno. It's really hard to read girls sometimes.

Then I saw her again (in another really cute short skirt but this time wearing like, sparkly leg warmers too) a few days after that. Some of the guys from the hockey team were walking past her in the hallway carrying their giant duffle bags & gear, and they just kinda knocked her over like she wasn't even there. She dropped all her stuff on the floor. Kids walking past just paid no attention to her and were walking on her papers and stuff. That really sucked and I felt bad for her, so I stopped to help her pick up some of her things. She just looked at me like I was an alien and STILL didn't say a word to me. But she did look at me for a long while, and she had the prettiest brown eyes, even if she looked kind of sad, or even scared maybe? I tried to smile at her, but she still didn't say anything. Then she took off pretty fast down the hallway. I really don't think she likes me.

. . . . .

This is the first year I'm going to a FORMAL dance - a REAL grown up high school formal dance. Puck said we HAVE to go because we're on the football team, and because all the sweet babes will be lining up to dance with us. I think he's just excited about trying to spike the punch bowl. It's kinda his trademark move.

I wasn't sure I wanted to go because for one thing, suits are really uncomfortable and ties are lame. But also, I'm really NOT a good dancer. No, really - I'm terrible. I guess with my height and long legs, I just tend to be all clumsy. I'm honestly not sure who wants to dance with a guy who's a foot taller than them and will step on their feet all night or worse - fall over on them.

My mom drove us and dropped us off. The dance was at the high school in our gymnasium. Which also sounds pretty lame because who wants to go to a fancy party in a place that smells like feet and sweaty dudes. But I was surprised how cool it looked. It's a winter formal, so everything was all white and silver and blue, with sparkly streamers, twinkle lights and balloons. And giant snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. The gym really didn't look like a gym, and it definitely didn't smell like the gym, they musta used some cinnamon and pine smelling stuff in the air ducts. It kinda smelled like Christmas - which is my FAVORITE holiday of the year! Even though fake pine isn't the same as real pine trees, it still smells better than stinky sweaty jocks and sneakers.

But the place looked really good. And just like Puck said, the girls were lining up - for him anyway. Ever since he shaved his hair into a mohawk last summer he's been getting a lot of attention. (And I'll take credit for that mohawk by the way - I dared him to do it when we were watching some 80's punk rock video by the Clash and he just got up and shaved his head right there in my bathroom!) Seems like he gets another girl's phone number like, everyday (which I find hilarious because he never actually calls any of them). He tries to set us up with double dates all the time but I don't know if I'm quite ready for that yet - especially with Puck around. He's already lost it, y'know, his 'v-card'. He told me all about it and it sounded kinda, messy. And a little terrifying. So now I just keep picturing being stuck in the front seat listening to whatever is going on in the backseat with him and his date and feeling really super uncomfortable and awkward. I don't think I'd want my first time to be in the backseat of a car either. Seems kinda gross and unromantic, and plus I'm too tall to try something like that in a car. Unless it's like, a limo or the bed of a pickup truck, I can't picture the logistics working out for me too well.

Well anyway. At the dance there was a DJ and lots of couples already on the dancefloor, mostly it was groups of girls dancing together and a few guys dancing with their dates, all looking about as awkward as I felt. I just stood on the side with the bleachers for a while and just watched everything. I looked around wondering if that short girl was there, maybe in a fancy short skirt. I think I just wanted to see what she'd wear to a dance like this. I was picturing her in like a fluffy pink tutu, like the kind ballerinas wear. I bet she'd look real cute in something like that. But I didn't see her anywhere.

While I was looking around, one of the Cheerio girls came over and dragged me onto the dancefloor for a slow song. She was really pretty, but so feisty and bossy and yelled at me in spanish or something when I stepped on her feet. (Yeah I told you that was gonna happen!) The whole time we 'danced' she kept asking me questions about Puck. I wondered why she didn't just grab Puck and make him dance with her, given how she seemed to be such a controlist. She said she wanted to know more about him first before she 'wasted her precious time'. Then she screamed and threatened something about going to Lima Heights when I really squashed her foot pretty hard, and she shoved me and took off. To be honest, her personality seems to be a lot more like Puck's than mine, and I think he'd be a better match for her anyway.

. . . . .

Valentine's Day is I guess a really big deal in high school. I remember back in elementary school we'd make our own boxes for Valentine's cards that the whole class would exchange, and spend half the day eating candy hearts and cupcakes and stuff that some of the kid's moms would bring in for us. When I was in 2nd grade, this really shy girl actually kissed the palm of my hand when she gave me a cupcake she brought for the class. She said she made them herself and decorated them with pink candy hearts and these gold icing stars. The kiss was sorta sweet but also sorta weird… not sure why she kissed my palm, but it was nice, warm and soft but not sloppy or wet. And her cupcake was really good. I guess you could call that my first kiss, if a kiss on a hand counts? I can't remember her name but I think she moved away at the end of the school year.

In high school we don't make Valentine's boxes anymore. Instead we buy chocolate roses or carnations and have them delivered to your sweetheart or your friends. I got 4 carnations, 3 of them were from Cheerio girls and one was signed from 'your secret admirer'. It might LITERALLY drive me insane not knowing who my 'secret admirer' is. But funny thing, there was a gold star sticker on the tag… I think that's what made me think of the cupcake girl in 2nd grade. Girls must have a thing for stars?

. . . . .

I'm so glad to have made it through my first year of high school! I made loads of new friends and have a bunch of plans to hang out with the guys from the team all summer - plus there's football camp coming up so I'll be pretty busy. But more importantly, summertime is finally here and I can't WAIT! My 16th birthday is in August, which means this year I'm finally getting my freedom and learning to drive - AWESOME! Me and mom already got my learners permit paperwork, and I've been studying the driving manual a lot. This is something I HAVE to ace. I just have to drive for so many hours with her as my supervised adult driver and then pass the final tests at the DMV. Mom already saved up to buy me a used pickup truck from Mr. Henley down the street as my sweet 16 present. It's old and kinda faded blue but it will be MINE and I am so excited! Mr. Henley says it runs really good and he'd be happy to teach me stuff about taking care of it. Which was super cool of him. August can't get here fast enough!

The Fourth of July was pretty cool this year. Puck and me and a bunch of friends from football and Cheerios went to the lake and had a bonfire party. Puck managed to score some beer (it's best not to ask too many questions with Puck) and some fireworks and we set them off at night as soon as the sun went down. Nothing caught fire this time -thankfully! That girl from the winter formal dance is kinda dating Puck now. Her name is Santana. She's cool as long as you don't look at her or talk to her or do anything to draw attention to yourself. She's really LOUD. And that applies to EVERYTHING I guess, because her and Puck disappeared for a while but I knew where they were and exactly what they were doing because I could hear.. well, way too much.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have a real girlfriend. I don't really just wanna hook up with a bunch of girls just to feel like a stud. Maybe it's the way my mom raised me, or maybe I'm just a weirdo like that, but I'm not in a super big hurry to cash in my v-card. Don't get me wrong, girls are cute - in fact they're AWESOME, but I just feel like it needs to be special, like I expect to see fireworks or feel like a lightning bolt hit me or something when I find the right girl. It'll happen when it happens I guess… I hope.

. . . . .

DRIVING TIME WITH MOM! I was sooo excited to get out today, it was such a beautiful sunny day. Mom and I were totally relaxed and everything was going great when the most terrifying thing in the world happened… Mr. Clark, our mailman, was crossing the street looking at the mail he was carrying in his hand, but he didn't see me and I didn't see him and OH MY GOD I HIT HIM! He crashed up on the windshield and letters went flying everywhere! All I can remember was mom screaming and me screaming and Mr. Clark laying on the hood of the car. I didn't sleep for a week. Mom tried so hard to calm me down and say it was just an accident, and Mr. Clark was pretty ok because I wasn't going very fast so he just had a broken arm, but still… Hitting a guy with the car was NOT a way to instill confidence in my driving abilities. I didn't try to drive again for weeks. I did finally get my license at the end of September, which was after the new school year started, but I was pretty scared to drive by myself for a long time.