McKinley High - Junior Year Part 1

It wants what it wants, the heart does
It wants what it wants, the heart, the heart
So how do I forget this my love, and when do I belong here
If trouble is a pathway we build, then I'm a pioneer

So here it is - junior year, the first day of 11th grade and only two years left 'til graduation! I'm still the quarterback, finally got my girl issues worked out, and um, in case you hadn't heard: FINN HUDSON IS IN LOVE! This is gonna be the best freakin' year yet, I just know it!

Rach sent me her now-standard early good morning hello text at 6am, which I actually didn't respond to until 6:40 am (because 40 minutes of extra sleep is GOOD, Rachel!). I already told her I'd be picking her up for school everyday, and we were gonna walk in through those doors together. United front. I hoped that would be enough to convince her not to be so uptight about the start of this new year, but she still can't quite let it go yet, and I s'pose she won't be able to until she lives through it herself.

I've spent the past few days trying to convince her that she has nothing to worry about. Of course, I really hope I'm not lying about this… I mean, some of the guys on the football team are pretty douchey, like Azimio and Karofsky - not to mention Rick the Stick and his gang of hockey jerks - and who knows what kinda crap they might sling our way.

. . . . .

I pulled up to her house and cut the engine. She was already coming out the front door before I could get out of the truck (yeah, she's got those short legs but she's still SUPER fast!). I ran up the sidewalk to greet her with a kiss – a long steamy hot one today, since her dads cars were not anywhere to be seen :-)

And WOW. That little sundress she's wearing is all kinds of awesome. She's just so pretty and I feel so lucky to be her guy. "Good morning baby, you look beautiful today," I told her with a big smile. She sometimes needs a lot of positive reinforcement – but I love telling her how gorgeous she looks. It makes me feel good knowing I can make her smile. Plus, it seems like the sexier she feels, the better I get rewarded - win win ;)

"Good morning to you too, Finn! I see you took my advice and went with the brown and white polo - which looks wonderful on you by the way. It brings out your sexy eyes." She smiled so bright and blinked her long eyelashes at me and that's all it takes for my stomach to start doing those fishy-swimming backflips. See how she makes me feel so good too? But then, Rachel has always done that for me. I'm so glad I was forced to join the glee club, somedays I feel like the luckiest guy on earth! I started thinkin' I should prob'ly thank Mr. Schue one of these days… But right now I'm wondering why her smile is falling.

"You ok Rach? 'Cause listen, I just know everything's gonna be fine. And I promise, if a single chip of ice touches so much as a hair on your head, someone is getting a serious beat down. I swear I'm not gonna let–"

"Finn! Oh my gosh no, please do not be a caveman! While I recognize pugilism is a valid sport, and I absolutely do appreciate your over-protective nature on my behalf - in fact I find your extreme show of masculinity very endearing and incredibly attractive on some levels… Even still, I have positively no desire to see my boyfriend get detention… or worse, expelled over slushies, least of all for my sake! You should be more worried about keeping your academic record immaculate this and next year, and to start planning ahead for the future."

She's just so cute when she gets fired up and talks all fast and uses so many big words, but it's awful early in the morning and she's kinda making my head spin a little bit. And also, I think I'm gonna need to start carrying a dictionary on me at all times with Rachel around… although, I'm not sure how much it'd help if I don't know how to spell half the words she uses.

"Umm.. okay babe." I'm pretty sure that answer basically covers whatever she just said. I think the main idea is 'don't get expelled' even though she thinks it's sexy for me to protect her? Cool. So I pressed a kiss on her cheek for good measure and I could feel the heat of her blushing under my lips, which was also super cool.

. . . . .

We finally got to school and just like I promised her, we walked inside hand in hand. I felt Rachel squeeze my hand harder when we passed a couple Cheerios and football players. They were just some new guys, freshman benchwarmers and 2nd stringers, so they're not a worry. I nodded at them and then I smiled at Rach and gave her another quick kiss on the cheek, which made her blush again and she smiled her really big beautiful pearly grin at me.

We got our class schedules in the mail a couple weeks ago. Me and Rach have lunch, study hall and Spanish with Mr. Schue together this year, which is pretty boss. Plus, with Glee meeting three times a week, that means I'll get to see lots of my girl during the day – except I really wish I had a few more classes with her. On the other hand, maybe this is better because I'd probably be too distracted by her short skirts and pretty dresses to pay any attention at all in class and I at least have to pass everything to stay on the football team - not like Rach would let me slack off and fail anything anyway. Rachel takes mostly advanced college prep classes because she's so smart and stuff. She has big plans for college in New York City and Broadway and says this is a year that counts a lot for college.

I don't know if college is gonna be a thing for me or not. Maybe if our football team starts actually winning and not sucking so bad, maybe I'd get a chance at a football scholarship. But without a scholarship, I don't see how my mom could afford to send me to college. And without football, I'm not sure what else I'd wanna do after graduation, but I still have loads of time to try and figure that stuff out. I have no doubt Rachel is gonna be helping me keep my grades up, considering her obsession with planning and learning and stuff. She just wants me to do good, and it makes her happy, so I'm actually looking forward to studying (with) Rachel this year.

. . . . .

JBI IS STILL A GIANT DOUCHE

I told Rachel I'd walk her to her locker, then we'd stop at mine and head to our first classes together. She has calculus (that's some kind of Einstein type math or something) and I have English Lit, but they're both in the same hallway. As soon as we got to her locker though, Jewfro was there. He basically attacked us shoving his microphone in our faces wanting an interview for his vlog about us dating on our summer break. Don't ask me why that's newsworthy – or why anyone bothers to read his blog to begin with? But anyway… I see how JBI is always checking out Rachel and I really kinda wanted his face to meet my right hook, but Rach and her magic touch on my arm sorta calmed me right down, again as always. She was all 'civic' about it, telling me she has to get used to being in front of the camera anyway, so this would be good practice.

Okay fine. JBI asks his first question and it's something to do with how the other glee kids think it's really difficult working with Rachel. Huh? Whoever is saying that better watch it! I mean yeah, okay, she is a controllist and all (sorry babe, but it's kinda true) and it does sometimes get a little scary watching her freak out to everyone about upping their performances but I love her anyway… Plus it DOES only serve to help the club in the long run! If we really want to make it to nationals and WIN, we should all be listening to Rachel more often. (See what I did there? That's called being a good supportive boyfriend!)

. . . . .

Rachel usually likes to spend study hall time in the library and when she told me to meet her there today I couldn't help but smile remembering our summer dates at the public library in town… But she musta noticed the look on my face and realized what I was thinking, because she reminded me this is school now and NOT a date night. [Uhh.. but now that I know what the Stacks are, I think I'm gonna pay more attention to our library here and see if we have those here too.. Maybe I can change her mind a little - I mean c'mon, everyone needs a study break sometimes, right? ;) ]

At lunch we sat together with Mike, Tina, Kurt and Mercedes. Rach brought some weird tofu veggie burger for lunch because she's a vegan, but she also baked some zucchini bread for me. She's always thinking of me and doing little things like that, just because. I'm so lucky to have such a smart beautiful girl who bakes and who loves me enough to bring me snacks! But she also told me that I shouldn't buy the snacks from the vending machine because they're full of like, chemicals and preservatives, and her stuff is fresher and healthier, and they're better for me especially since I'm an athlete… Whatever. Her snacks taste just as awesome or better than store bought stuff (but so do the ones in the vending machine - and I'm not gonna lie, I grabbed a PopTart between 2nd and 3rd period today, but she doesn't need to know that!).

Anyway so far the day's been going pretty well, except for the Jewfro ambush. Nobody else has had anything to say really about me and Rach dating, at least not to me, and Rach hasn't mentioned anything yet either, but I can tell she still looked a little nervous here at lunch. There's a lot of hockey guys and a few guys from football in our lunch period, plus a few senior Cheerios who Rach keeps glancing at. I asked her if everything was ok, she'd said she's fine but I'm not so sure I believe her. So I just gave her a kiss on the cheek to remind her she's my girl and that she has nothing to worry about. She repaid me by squeezing my hand and showing me that giant pearly white smile of hers, but then she surprised me with a quick peck on the lips. (She said I had crumbs on my mouth - yeah sure, good cover story babe!)

As we were finishing up lunch and getting ready to leave the cafeteria, that's when the day sorta went to hell. I saw Rick Nelson and his hockey cronies go to the slushie machine. As they filled their cups they kept looking over toward Rachel. Aw HELL no. They were all laughing and whispering stuff to each other and started walking our way. Just about when he got close enough to be in slushie tossing range, I stood up keeping Rach behind me, and looked straight down into Nelson's face (this is a time when my height comes in handy). I never said a word, I just gave him the 'don't even think about it, I'll mess up your world' look. He just smiled at me, real cocky like, and said "Hey Hudson, slushie?" He offered the cup to me and I just slowly pushed his hand away to the side and told him "no thanks." He kept trying to glance around me at Rach, who I could tell was completely freaking out, because I could feel the nervousness radiating off her from behind me. But Nelson and his puckheads finally started to walk away, and I was just about half way to sitting back down when I heard Rach gasp my name. So I just kinda ducked to the side but still shielding Rachel. He threw the damn slushie aimed at me but just missed, only caught part of my shoe was all. They bolted into the hall and I jumped back up to go after them, but Rach grabbed my arm and said it wasn't worth it.

Just then the bell rang and the cafeteria was clearing out in a hurry, but I was still shaking a little from the adrenalin rush. All of a sudden Rachel pulled me close, stood on her tiptoes and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. It was quick and soft and just what I needed to calm down and forget all about those jerks. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight and whispered "are you okay?" in her ear. She smiled back at me and said "of course I am, I have my hero to protect me." That made me feel great!

. . . . .

A NEW KINDA GLEEFUL, WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE

Glee was pretty interesting today. It was just a little uncomfortable at first seeing Puck and Quinn again - who were not sitting together, which was…odd? I mean, I guess I just expected they were dating now. I hadn't talked to either one of them really since the baby was born the night of regionals.

Beth's birth had started to bring back those hurt feelings and stuff that night, but Rachel and I had a few long talks about all that stuff over summer, and somehow I was feeling a lot less miserable about it all. Rach is so great to talk to. She always finds a way to make me feel better about almost everything.

Part of me really misses Puck's friendship. We were close as brothers forever, and yet somehow we let a girl get between us - or well, THEY let her get between us. I don't know if him and Quinn are really gonna be an item or not, but I could tell he really seemed to care about her last year – and for that to happen for Puck about ANYONE is kind of a huge deal. Maybe it was just her being pregnant with his kid, or maybe he honestly has real feelings for her.. Either way, it would be wrong to keep holding it against him now, especially since I'm so happy to be with Rachel. She tells me it's ok to forgive him, but forgiving doesn't have to mean forgetting. I might need a little more time, but I think I understand what she means.

Quinn's still not a Cheerio anymore after Coach Sylvester cut her from the squad because of being pregnant last year, and Rachel is still trying pretty hard to be friendly (or at least 'civilized') with her for the sake of the club. But I don't feel as good about that whole deal as Rach does. I still remember Quinn's mean streak towards Rachel and I really HOPE there's no hard feelings that are gonna cause problems for the club – or for me and Rach. Guess we'll just have to take things one day at a time and hope for the best.

I was just really happy to be able to have Rachel at my side the whole time in glee today, someone who actually liked holding my hand or leaning her head on my shoulder… not someone who would grumble insults at me through the whole period or complain that I was wrinkling her uniform if I had my arm around her… or worse yet – someone who would catch me enjoying Rachel's singing too much or catch me being totally dazzled just by her presence and then making me feel guilty and bitching at me all night. There was always only ever going to be one solution to that problem, and I finally got it worked out. Yeah, being here right now, with my favorite girl sitting next to me in my favorite school activity, what could be better?

It was a real bummer at our last big summer's end party to learn that Matt was moving and transferring schools – meaning we're again a member short for glee competitions. Mr. Schue brought that up and also tasked us to recruit even more members into the club so we can better compete against Vocal Adrenaline. He then told us that Nationals would be held in New York City this year – which was all kinds of AWESOME! – and we put together a recruitment plan to show off to the school how terrific being in Glee really was.

We did a surprise performance of Jay-Z's 'Empire State of Mind' song (and I got to do some pretty dope rappin') outside in the courtyard in hopes of showing how cool glee really was and getting new kids to want to join. Me and Rach being co-captains, we decided it was our job to really step up and we'd both kept a lookout. I noticed a new guy with blonde hair (and a really way too big mouth) tapping his foot and looking all interested, and Rach said she saw a girl with pigtails kinda grooving along too, but neither of them stuck around when we got done singing and we lost them in the crowd when the bell rang. And neither of them showed up for glee auditions later that day.

So we made these totally cool sign up sheets (ok mine was way cooler than Rach's) and while we were each hanging them in different places, we each ran into those kids again. I found Sam in the locker room shower singing a totally boss old Poison song – Sam Evans was his name. Okay I admit it was kinda giving me a kinda creepy weird flashback to when Mr. Schue said he heard me singing there, but also yeah, the boy can really carry a tune! After he got done and dressed I managed to talk him into auditioning for glee.

Meanwhile, Rach had found the girl in the ladies room. The girl's name is Sunshine and apparently according to Rachel she is an AWESOME singer – which translated from Rachel speak means Rach already feels threatened. Looking back on the short talk we had about Sunshine, I shoulda probably seen this coming, and maybe coulda stopped her from going all chick-batty and doing something super stupid.. But I was too preoccupied all day with trying to get Sam on board and interested in glee. So instead of making sure Rach brought Sunshine into the club at least to audition, she went rogue and I guess sent the poor kid to an ACTIVE CRACK HOUSE?! Seriously like what the hell babe?!

OK. I mean I know how Rachel gets about wanting solos and success and following her dreams to Broadway - I love all of that about her - but she is SO super competitive, and that crack house thing was really crossing a line to far. Tina and Mike were the first to find out about the crack house audition detour… Mike told me about it and I couldn't hardly believe what I was hearing. Then him and Tina told Mr. Schue, and before I could find Rach to talk to her about it they all totally ganged up on her and reamed her out pretty bad (guess I can't really blame any of them for being pissed, but then, they don't understand Rach the way I do).

Rachel felt bad and went to make amends with Sunshine and finally got the girl to come audition - and yeah, I totally see why Rach felt threatened because the girl was all kinds of powerhouse vocal acrobatics amazing, a LOT like Rachel. BUT. That was no excuse to prevent her from joining the club OR to put her in harm's way at a drug den. She was exactly the kinda secret weapon we needed to beat V-A. And just when Mr. Schue went to welcome the new girl to the club, it turned out she'd already been stolen away from us and was transferring to Carmel High. Great, not only do we lose an incredible singer, but we lost her to our biggest competition. Needless to say, our club was FURIOUS with Rach. I tried to talk them down because they seriously wanted to kick her out of Glee… but then I made them realize it would only hurt us MORE by losing another awesome member.

So I had a heart to heart with my girl in the hall. She asked me what the club had to say when they found out.

"Well, I talked 'em out of giving you a 'code red'. They were pissed, and they had the right to be. What you did was bad, Rachel. We could have used Sunshine to beat Vocal Adrenaline, and now they're just that much stronger."

She started to look like a scared animal, cornered and trapped. I've seen this look before and I kinda knew what was coming, some kinda meltdown.

"Just do it already."

"What?" I didn't really understand what she was thinking at first, like did she think I was gonna slap her or something? I mean yeah, I was disappointed in what she did, but I'd NEVER raise my hand to her, or to any girl!

"Break up with me. Okay, we both knew it was just a matter of time."

Oh crap, she's gone farther off the deep end than I expected.. She really thinks I'd do that, actually dump her? Over this?

"I think you're forgetting, I'm not the quarterback anymore."

Okay yeah… um, sidenote: It's a long story that involved me trying to get Artie on the football team to win Tina back, but our new football coach - who is a CHICK - totally flipped out on me thinking I was pranking her or something because Artie's in a wheelchair. So yeah, I got kicked off the football team. And that tragic shocking reality led me to my lowest point in life yet, something I NEVER in a million bad dreams could've predicted I would ever stoop to, but ugh, yeah uhh… ItriedoutforCheeriosItwastotallyhumiliatingIdon'twannatalkaboutit. Anyway. Even Mr. Schue couldn't fix that misunderstanding with Coach Beiste (pronounced BEAST - yeah that's really her name - and whatever you do, do NOT say 'DUDE' to her!). So yeah, I guess I'm off the team, and not the QB anymore and couldn't even make it on the gawd awful Cheerios… which, apparently Rachel seemed pretty HAPPY about? She said it's because she worries about me getting injured and doesn't want to sing at my funeral. Um. Okaaay….?

Whatever. The point is, I'd had a pretty crappy day at that point, and now I'm standing here, listening to this crazy breakup talk from Rachel. So I had to remind her, "I'm just another Glee loser now. Fact is, you should be breaking up with me." Even though I'd probly die if she did, but even I know how much better Rachel is than me, and I still can't understand why she chose me.

Then she turned around and looked up at me with those big puppy dog eyes and said "I'll never break up with you."

She melted my heart right there, and it felt SO good to hear her say that. I felt like I needed to state the obvious, y'know, positive reassurance and all. "Me neither." It's true though. Like, I don't know what it would possibly take for me to ever break up with Rachel. She'd never do to me what Quinn did, and short of that, I can't think of anything Rachel could be capable of doing to make me not want to be with her. I think I could probably forgive her for just about anything, as long as I know she still loves me.

Then she gave me a surprisingly hot kiss on the mouth right there in the middle of the hallway, breaking her own PDA rules again (which was SO cool), and then… yeah, Rachel wasn't really done being crazy yet. Or maybe she was in denial, still trying to cover or downplay her motives. She said "I did it for the team, you know. I just, I-I love everybody so much, I didn't want anyone else coming in and interfering."

Aw babe. Don't you know how well I know you by now? Sorry but I guess it was time for some more tough love.

"You got to stop saying that, Rachel. I care about you and everything, but you got to admit the truth. You didn't do this because you love Glee club. You did it because you love yourself more." Aw I hate saying things that make her look like that, but I've been trying to show her what it takes to make people see her the way I do. I know her heart is so big, but her dreams are even bigger, and she just gets confused how to balance those things sometimes. I could see the look in her face, she knew she can't just pass off her 'love-of-the-club' BS over on me.

"Okay. I didn't want anyone else hogging my spotlight. Okay, I love it too much to let it go that easy." She really did look sorry though and I know she felt bad. It was just a prank that went wrong. As much as I'd spent a lot of the summer trying to get her to chill out more, she's still got that damn competitive spirit that takes over, almost like a… interior? ultimate?.. no. Whatever, her bad guy extra ego, y'know, like Heckle and Jekyll.

Then she asks "Do you think that they'll ever forgive me?"

I hate to see this look on her face. She's too beautiful to look so sad and afraid. "They'll come around. I think apologizing would be a good start."

I was holding her hand and trying to be supportive and was gonna walk her into the choir room, but she started pulling back from me in the opposite direction. She said she needed some alone time first… which again, translated from Rachel speak meant she probably needed to go sing it out first and put on her game face before facing the angry mob. I understood that and just let her go prepare.

She's still not used to admitting her faults, remember? Especially to anyone other than me… I know she's embarrassed but I can see she's learning, and I'm real proud of her for trying. People don't get to see that side of her too often. She still struggles showing it to me sometimes, always afraid I'll judge her or dump her (which is TOTALLY nuts). But she always stays true to her word about always being honest with me, even if I have to pull it out of her sometimes. I just need her to see that if she can open herself up to the rest of the club the way she does with me, she'd be better off. People would be more understanding and accepting of her, even if she sometimes makes mistakes.

When she finally came into the choir room, she made a really nice apology speech and took responsibility for the Sunshine mess. She also vowed to do whatever was necessary in the future to better be a leader and strengthen the club, even if that meant less solos for her. Santana and Quinn (oh yeah - Quinn, who was once again in her Cheerios uniform? So teen mom got back on the squad but they laughed me right outta tryouts… pffft) didn't have the nicest remarks - typical - but Tina and Mike at least appreciated that she tried to make it right. Mr. Schue filled us in that it was actually Coach Sue who had once again screwed us by tipping Carmel off about Sunshine's talent, so at least that part wasn't entirely Rach's fault – but Sunshine agreeing to leave McKinley was mostly because of Rachel.

. . . . .

I was seriously never so glad for a first day of school to end. Thankfully we made it through without too much drama about me and Rachel being a couple, but turned out we both had sooo much drama and other crappiness for completely unexpected other reasons. And even in the middle of all the crappiness and both of us promising to never break up with each other, I'm not sure it was enough to put Rachel's mind at ease about our relationship.

She held my hand the whole time in the truck as I drove her home after school, but I could tell she was still tense and she really didn't talk on the way. When we got to her house, I helped her down out of the truck and she looked at me and said her dads wouldn't be home for a few hours yet and asked me to come in for a while. YES! This is what I was kinda hoping for ALLLL day! But yeah, of course she made us go through all our classes and homework stuff first. I had to fight hard to stay focused, seeings how she'd changed into some after school clothes - some really HOT short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank shirt. (If she really wanted me to stay focused on school stuff, she probably shoulda dug out the sweatshirt and sweatpants… haha.) But I pushed through it and finally got a nice round of hot sweet kisses afterwards… So at least the day wasn't a total loss!

. . . . .

HOLY CRAP: THE BRITNEY BUTTERFLY EFFECT

WHOA.. Umm, wtf Rach? Ok. She's my girlfriend. I completely respect her right to make her own choices and to be the person she wants to be. I believe in her dreams and everything. I'm 100% supportive to her in like, just about every way I know how to be… except. Why. Why is she coming to school dressed like THAT?

Alright I guess I need to back up a minute again to explain… Glee club went totally bizarro world insane all of a sudden for the rest of the week.

Bizarro thing #1. So. First, Kurt started a campaign to get us to do Britney Spears songs in Glee for the next assembly. Mr. Schue shot it down, saying she's like a bad influence and stuff. Which, yeah, probably true? I dunno, don't much care for her music myself – but I can't lie, she's pretty smokin' hot and sexy, especially in some of her videos… not that I pay much attention. Anyway. Mr. Schue wanted us to do adult contemporary music as our assignment (total snooze.. and also, I still stand by the fact that getting caught between the moon and NYC is a dumb lyric because there's just too much distance between them for that to happen, but whatever).

Bizarro thing #2. Some dentist friend of Miss Pillsbury shows up (also completely weird – like, why is a DENTIST talking to a Glee club? It's gotta have something to do with Mr S and Miss P… but I haven't quite figured out what their story is yet). SO. He makes us chew those goofy pills, y'know that turns your teeth blue if you have like, tooth gunk from not brushing or something? Well then I almost had a heart attack when Rach smiled at me after chewing hers – it was like the Blue Man Group had a party in her mouth, or like she was turning into that chick smurf right before my eyes from the inside out! YIKES! But I know Rach is super OCD about brushing and flossing… So when she started to freak out, 'Dr. Carl the dentist' says it might be genetics, she decided to go to his office for a checkup to find out what's the problem.

Well, Britt and Artie also had to go see him because y'know, they had the same horrible scary blue smiles, and after each of them came back they'd said they were having Britney Spears fantasy dreams when Dr. Carl gassed them during their exams. I thought it was kinda like INSANE and they really just wanted to sing Britney songs so bad they were making stuff up…

Bizarro thing #3 - But even Rachel said the same thing when it was her turn. And in her Britney dream, she got to feel all girl powered and dress super sexy, sorta like her own clothes except, less of her own clothes (like, the stuff from MY OWN Rachel fantasy dreams – but those were supposed to only be for ME to know about!)… and then she comes to school with her belly showing and her boobs almost hanging out and braided pigtails, and um.. I just can't explain the panic that hit me like a Mack truck.

She turned down the hall where my locker was, and I swear like 5 guys were drooling all over her as she walked by. I grabbed my hoodie and tried to cover her up so y'know, I wouldn't get expelled or whatever for killing dudes, but she wasn't having it.

"Hey, take my hoodie. You look cold."

"It's okay, I'm… Wait, you mean you don't like my new look?"

SOOO NOT THE POINT BABE.

"Don't you think it's a bit much? I mean, I think that guy just broke up with his girlfriend just so he could stare at you."

"I'm just doing what you told me. Besides, it's not like when I went all sad clown hooker and put on that ridiculous Grease catsuit. This is just like my regular look with the volume turned up." Ooof… that damn (sorta hot) catsuit. I still need to get back at Kurt for that ridiculous… prank? - whatever it was he was trying to do that day.

Then I hear friggin' Azimio chime in with his cat calls, "Ooh, baby, you can hit me as many times as you want as long as you got that on." and then Karofsky pipes up with "How come all the gay guys always get the hottest chicks?"

ARRRGGG Rachel! Those creeps do NOT need to be OGLING my girl! Bad enough they're hassling me about being kicked off the team and tore up my damn letterman jacket, I don't know HOW I'm supposed to be able to protect her from THOSE two jerks at this rate… without my QB status they aren't gonna back down from me, so I just sorta begged her to listen. "You see what I'm talking about? They're personifying you."

"Objectifying." UGH whatever! Why can't I ever get the word I mean on the first try? Probably because they're almost the same words…

"Whatever! Just tell me why it's okay for you to feel safer with me not on the football team, but it's not okay for me to feel safer with you in your old reindeer sweaters?"

"Look, I see your point. In order for this relationship to work, we can't control each other. So you have my blessing to rejoin the football team… If you can."

Wait, seriously? Ok maybe that was progress in our relationship…? Or… or maybe it was really a trick, some kind of sneaky chick trap? I wasn't totally sure, but before I could figure out her sudden change of heart, dammit Jewfro pops up from behind me and offers to BUY Rach from me. "What do you want for her? I'll give you anything. I'll give you my house. I'll kill my parents and I'll give you my house. Wanky, wanky!" He's pretty lucky that I saw Rick Nelson making eyes at Rach down the hall so I chose to walk her way instead of giving him a mouth full of my fist and shoving his face into a locker.

. . . . .

TRY TRY AGAIN…REDEMPTION

Well… since Rachel gave me her blessing and all, yeah. I went ahead and tried to work things out with Coach Beiste. She agreed to let me try out again, and then Artie showed up in the locker room again but this time coach said I had to help him with his uniform.. So although I have NO idea what changed her mind - Bizarro thing #4? - both me and Artie made it on the team! YEAH! Okay so I'm still not the QB again - yet (no, that would be because SAM took my spot), but at least I still have football. And Rachel. But uh, when she found out she sorta sounded… hurt? Pissed? Whatever it was, I just knew there was gonna be a conversation about it.

And yep, there sure was. She showed up in the boys locker room while I was getting ready for practice – which totally took me by surprise (and might have been super hot under different circumstances, since we were there all alone).

Wow she was just so pretty, she was dressed like MY RACH again. Kinda took my breath away for a minute. "You changed back to your old clothes."

"I just want you to know that I heard everything that you said, and that I respect your needs, and I'll do anything to make you feel safe and happy."

That's my girl. God I love her so much! But I didn't want Beiste to freak out for me being late to the field especially when I JUST got back on the team, so I had to sorta run.. "Cool. Well, thanks. I gotta go."

"Wait...I mean... D-Don't you want to make me feel safe and happy, too?"

Uh-oh. Maybe it's that tricky chick trap thing after all?

"Well, yeah. Yeah, sure… Wait. Wait. Do you want me to quit football?"

"Look, how am I supposed to trust that you're not just going to stray again? Remember your little fling with Brittany and Santana? I do... all right? Let's face it, Finn… The only way that this relationship is going to work is if we're both losers."

Yeah. She totally brought up that stupid date from last year – again. UGH I don't think she's ever gonna let that go… I really need her to trust me, to believe in me – believe in us. So I pulled her close and tried using my best convincing boyfriend voice to get through to her.

"Okay. Come here." I wrapped her up in my arms, hoping to calm her down and make her see reason. "This is how it's gonna happen: I'm going to be quarterback again. Then I'm going to throw a touchdown in our first game, and then point to you in the stands so that everybody in the school knows you're my girlfriend. All right?"

I could feel her tensing up in my arms. "That's very romantic, but… I don't know."

Crap. Why isn't it working? "Rachel, you can't ask me to choose between you and football."

She looked me straight in the eyes at that point saying "Well, I am."

And just like that, she turned and walked away. What the hell am I supposed to do about this now? It's totally not fair or reasonable for her to put me in that position! I'd never do that to her. I wouldn't make her choose between me and her Broadway dreams… at least I'm pretty sure I wouldn't? Nah.. no, I KNOW I wouldn't do that to her, it's too important to her.

She's just gonna have to work this insecurity problem out somehow. I don't want any Cheerios, I absolutely DO NOT want Brit or Santana, so… maybe I'll have to take Rach on a special date or something and try to get it through her thick skull. I love her too much – lookit, I even stood by her through the Sunshine crack house scandal, wasn't that proof enough how I feel, that I'm totally committed? Plus, I'd only be hurting myself too if I let us fall apart or let football come between us. She's kinda high maintenance and I already knew that, but seriously Rach, geez…

And then when I thought it couldn't get any worse, even more crazy stuff happened – Bizarro thing #5: QUINN FABRAY.

I mean seriously, is there something in the water, or some weird chick flu going around? Quinn shows up at my locker in her uniform, ponytail higher than ever, and like tries to, I guess, seduce me back to being her boyfriend again. LIKE WHAT? No I'm not joking you, but I sure started to think I was being punked or something. She sounded pretty damn serious… so I had to shut that down ASAP. Maybe a small part of me will always have some feelings for her because she was my first girlfriend.. But after what she did to me last year and everything I've gone through to finally be with Rachel? I'd have to be a complete lunatic to go back to that!

. . . . .

By the time I got to Glee again I really needed like, some aspirin or antacids or something. So much stress from all these crazy girls in just a single day… and then, Rachel. Yeah, my sweet Rach… she goes and completely surprises the hell outta me – again. She made the coolest sweetest apology speech in front of the whole Glee club and dedicated a really awesome song to me about how much she loves me, and talked about how she needs to trust me more - how we need to trust each other. I just can't say it enough times how her voice affects me, and she's so super sexy when she serenades me like that.. yeah, I had to seriously fight back the tears again. She really loves me as much as I love her. It was a really big deal for her to say what she said in front of everyone, I know it was. I just couldn't wait to get her in my arms. Rach finally listened to me I guess, and maybe believed that I'd never dump her and that all we need to do is trust each other. She's trying and learning… and I couldn't be more proud.

. . . . .

SOMETIMES, A SANDWICH IS JUST A DAMN SANDWICH.

This is really hard to talk about, but it affected me pretty deeply so I'm just gonna jump through the bullet holes then move on:

1 - I made a grilled cheese sandwich with the face of Jesus on it.

2 - I made a bunch of wishes on my Grilled Cheesus, and they all came true.

3 - I felt like crap because I wished for the wrong things and people got hurt, and I now know after talking to Miss Pillsbury there's no such thing as a Grilled Cheesus that grants wishes so I finally ate the damned sandwich.

Mom called me before lunchtime and told me that instead of us going to Burt and Kurt's for Friday night dinner, we were gonna go to the hospital instead. Burt had a heart attack. It was bad enough to put him in like a coma for days. He could've died and Kurt woulda been an orphan.

And all I did the whole time was selfishly wish for things to get better in MY stupid life and never once did I think of using the power of the Cheesus to get him out of that coma. Alright to be fair, I didn't know about Burt right away to even pray for help for him… But hey, we won a football game and I became quarterback again – even if Sam had to get hurt for that to be the case. And yeah, I got to touch Rachel's boobs, which ok, was SO totally HOT and so many kinds of impossibly AWESOME but still… I was being selfish. Burt - the guy who HELPED ME get my Rach back coulda been dying. And I totally didn't even ask for Grilled Cheesus to help him. I suck.

Well, Rach sang a truly beautiful Barbra song from Yentl for him, and then Kurt got all pissy because everyone in glee (including me) was pushing their own religious ideas in his face and trying to pray for him and his dad… but whatever happened, whatever miracle or medical reason, Burt finally woke up, and he's getting better. Not that I had anything at all to do with that fact.

But because this happened, I did figure out really fast how much Burt has come to mean to me, and Kurt too for that matter. Mom's right - we ARE becoming a real family now. Maybe still a somewhat dysfunctional family, but that's okay too. We'll work on it together… and I know Rachel will be part of that too so, things can't be all bad. At least Burt's gonna be okay, and I'm super happy about that.

. . . . .

RACHEL WANTS TO LOSE

Mr. Schue set us up with another crazy assignment: perform a duet and win a free meal at Breadstix! Yeah so, he wanted us to pair up and have a duet competition to help prepare for sectionals. Me and Rach woulda totally won this thing hands down - especially with that sweet Elton John - Kiki Dee song we were practicing, but then she had a sudden change of competitive edge like I've never seen before…

We'd just managed to get Sam Evans to officially join Glee, which of course makes us exactly a team of 12 again for competitions. And Rach knows we have to keep Sam happy to keep him on the team.. And looks like what makes him happy right now is Quinn Fabray (poor guy… he just doesn't know the hazards of treading in THOSE waters I guess). Anyway. She wants Sam and Quinn to win this duet thing. GREAT IDEA! …I hope?

So me and Rach had a meeting at her house to decide the best way how to LOSE this competition. I came up with a completely rad idea on how we could lose by singing a crappy OFFENSIVE song and Rachel, well, she was, uh, VERY proud of me! So proud in fact, that those northern summit boundaries weren't really boundaries anymore…. Yeah, she was totally like under the bra proud of me! :-D Rachel is the best girlfriend EVER! And after a 45 minute HOTTT makeout session, we decided on our costumes and practiced the stupid offensive song that was a sure-fire loser. I mean, I dressed like a PRIEST for cryin' out loud. And Rach was in this sorta nun's uniform (I know it's wrong to think it because it's like against religion or whatever, but DAMN she looked SMOKIN' hot)... Anyway. She said this awful crappy song was from this really creepy old TV show and it was very controversial back in the day. Well, it was sorta humiliating to be dressed in school like that, but it totally worked like a charm! They hated us so much they probably woulda thrown rotten tomatoes at us if they had any laying around… but our plan totally worked and Sam and Quinn WON the duet competition! We saw them in the hallway right after and they looked awfully into each other. I'm kinda relieved a little bit, at least Quinn and Sam together means Quinn has a project to keep her distracted and maybe she'll leave me and Rach alone for good!

. . . . .

WTF… JACKASS, PT 2

Umm. NO. No no freakin' WAY…. Jesse St. JACKASS is back in town?! What the hell!

And he's texting Rachel, asking for her to meet with him? Uh, absolutely HELL NO! I thought that arrogant rat-faced slimeball went away to college in California. Why is he back? Well I don't really care. He just needs to steer clear of Rachel if he knows what's good for him.

Except for one tiny little thing... Mr. Schue HIRED ST. JERKOFF as an advisor for OUR glee club!? Yeah, oh yeah, it's like, night of the living dead. Y'know, the zombie you thought you'd put down, but I guess you didn't get the REAL good headshot to finally take him out permanently, so yeah, he's clawing his way back to bite you in the ass when you least expect it! UGH!

Well, Rach keeps telling me I don't have anything to worry about. She showed me the text she sent him in response to his 'date' request, telling him that she loves ME and I love her, and that he needs 'to be respectful of our undying love and devotion, because my relationship with Finn is far more important to me than anything or anyone else; therefore, you need to keep a safe distance and maintain professional boundaries at all times. The only peaceful and amicable relationship of any sort I can offer at this time is strictly within the confines of Glee club.'

Rachel writes really long text messages. But she got the point across, I think? I mean I didn't understand everything she said to him, but he didn't reply back so maybe that's a good thing.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't remembering back to that day last year, the Madonna mash-up day, the day she crushed my heart telling me she'd 'DONE IT' with him. It had been gnawing away at me ever since, at least until summer break when she came clean and told me the truth.

I mean to be honest, since we'd been together all summer, it seemed kinda crazy to think she might have actually have had sex with him but then was like, still being such a prude with me… it didn't make a lot of sense, unless she really HADN'T actually done the deed yet? So I was pretty shocked when she confessed to lying. She thought I was gonna be pissed at her, but we'd talked it all out before school started back and settled everything.

"Rach babe, you don't need to be embarrassed or anything, I'm seriously like, SO GLAD to hear that y-you.. weren't 'with' him like that."

"But I LIED to you Finn, and I'm so sorry… aren't you mad?"

"Well.. Babe, first of all, you and me were not together at the time, but more importantly, it was a good lie. I mean, as lies go, the truth about your lie makes me super happy.. So uh… I HOPE the truth to my lie will make you happy too..?"

"What LIE Finn? D-do you mean… you lied to me too?"

"Well, I mean yeah, I was really hurt about the idea of you and HIM, so yeah.. I sorta did exactly what you did.. I told you the opposite of what actually happened with Santana. We actually DID NOT have sex that night."

Silence. Can't read her face at all… uh-oh.

"You lied about it? B-but…Why? And, why wouldn't you WANT to sleep with Santana? She's so much prettier than me… Were you just trying to hurt me?"

Crap. "Rach, baby, first of all, did you hit your head? You're SOO SEXY HOT so please stop saying stuff like that! Nobody's prettier than you... And anyway it doesn't matter how hot any other girl is, I can only see how hot YOU are." If only I had a picture of the dark lusty look on her face when I said that... yeah, that's another image of Rach I'm taking straight to the spank bank - not that I think I'll need to visit that place too much longer ;) "But also, please remember - you and me, we were not a couple yet. And well… maybe yeah, just a little TINY bit I was so hurt and jealous over St. Douchebag that I mighta felt like getting even with you, and I'm so so sorry about that … but Rach think about what this means. Look at the big picture… we BOTH lied. Doesn't that mean something?"

She sat for a few more moments sorta staring off blankly into space, then the biggest smile stretched across her face. "So…. You saved yourself… for me?"

"Yeah baby, I.. I just couldn't. I mean, I thought I was going to go through with it, y'know, just to get it over with, but I just couldn't because I looked at her and all I could think about was you and it.. It just wasn't right. It never felt right with her. I knew I wanted it to be with you and nobody else."

I've heard people talk about having like, out of body experiences… I gotta say, finally rounding third base with Rachel Berry has GOT to be like that. ;)

Nah… I'm not worried one little bit about Jesse St. Douche. Rachel's mine and I'm hers and we're just… we're FINCHEL! Invincible Finchel!

A/N - Sorry for the long overdue FULL update... Hope you enjoyed Part 1 of Junior year! Also as of today 8/28 I made a few minor edits in the originally published chapter, so a re-read might serve you well...nothing that really changes the story just a few corrections and little additions mostly for the sake of Finn-ness. ;)

I'm thinking Jr. Year will be told in at least 3 parts.. there's a lot of NON-FINCHEL-ness in season 2 and a lot of super dumb GARBAGE and painful story lines from the show which won't be relevant to my vision for THIS story, so... by contrast Season 1 was so HUGE on the Finchel scale, this season will be quite a bit more streamlined I think... unless I dream up A LOT of new content to fill it with lol. We shall see.. but for now I can pretty much assure at least 3 parts to complete season 2.

And yeah, as I suspect you can totally tell, the changes made in season 1 Simp world have already started having a major domino affect on this part of the story. I'd already had a couple of ideas heading into this chapter on how best to 'update' TV canon for this season, but I also have to give a HUGE shoutout to SAPPLINGOFASTAR - she helped by being my sounding board and we brainstormed a few upcoming ideas for Junior Year that I'm SO EXCITED for! Also to my dear SCARLETT88 who's been so helpful and supportive to me throughout this entire project so far - all writers need a great team of inspirational peeps around them to keep their creative juices flowing, right? Both these girls ROCK!

SONG CREDIT (lyrics excerpt): Andrew Belle - 'Wants What It Wants' from his 2013 album Black Bear. [i cant say it enough - GO LISTEN TO THE WHOLE ALBUM, YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!]