Everyone already knows about No Such Luck. The worst episode in the entire Loud House cartoon series. Also a favorite among the fanfiction community. After all, what other conclusion is there to be made when people keep bringing it up?

Said episode has recently become seven years old and I think it's about time the fanbase stops beating their favorite dead horse. Especially considering how future episodes have explored Lynn's bad side since then. On Thin Ice and The Taunting Hour are two examples, for better and worse.

As the Loud family will keep growing up, they'll keep moving on from whatever asinine stunts they pull on one another. Even if some fanfic writers like to imagine them getting too close from their shared experiences.

At the Loud House is the ever present Loud family. No matter how many leave the home by growing up, some will always stay behind. That's just how large the family is.

This fact is no more obvious than in the family's decision to home some of their next generation in the very house they grew up in. Family drama and unknown fathers aside.

This brings us to Lacy and Lupa Loud. Lynn Jr and Lucy's respective daughters. To little surprise, the two twelve year old girls had to share the same bedroom. Lupa's side was on the left and Lacy's was on the right.

It was late at night, so the two were already in their pajamas. Lupa was wearing an oversized night shirt with yellow and black stripes. Underneath it was an old pair of pajama pants with black and white stripes that were a hand-me-down from her mom.

Lacy meanwhile is wearing a comfy gym outfit that she repurposed into night wear. Red and white like her own mom's favorite combo with a number two on the front of the shirt. Something that Lynn chose for her, even if Lacy herself felt a tad patronized by the choice of number. It didn't bother her too much.

One of the ways these two cousins raised as sisters loved to spend time together was in telling stories. Bringing us to the present day with Lupa Loud and her latest scary story.

"It's called The No Such Luck Incident,"

Lacy squeezed her sister's devil plush in anticipation. Seeing the white haired girl's pale face being lit up with a flashlight was setting the mood perfectly.

As much of a sporty girl as she was, there was just something about Lupa's stories for Lacy that set them apart from horror movies she's seen with her parents and Aunt Lucy in the past. For one thing, they were more fun than scary.

"There was once a family. Much like our own who lived in this very house." Lupa curled her fingers like a ghost trying to snatch her sister up. "They were all morons who enjoyed living their dumb-stupid lives to the fullest."

"What happened to them?"

"I'm getting to that." Lupa cleared her throat before continuing. "Among the family was a brown haired girl with a pony tail."

Lacy felt her own light brown hair's ponytail. Giving into her own paranoia.

"She loved her brother so much that she forced him to go to one of her baseball games. That was a mistake as it soon turned out that her brother was cursed!"

Lacy gasped.

"After realizing this, the girl fought her brother and told him to kill himself."

"What? Why would she say that?!"

"Because he was cursed!" Lupa reminded her sister in annoyance. "Anyway, this curse ended up getting so bad that his entire family kicked him out of the house. It took until he put on a squirrel suit for him to be taken back in, but that's not where the story ends."

"It isn't?" Lacy could have sworn that she heard this story before. Not that it stopped her from continuing to listen.

"You see, the squirrel suit was also cursed. It was so hot and sweaty that the brother died."

"From heatstroke and dehydration?"

"No! From the bad luck!" Lupa reinforced. More annoyed than last time.

"I thought you said that it was a curse?"

"It was a curse! Just shut up and listen to the spooky story!" There was a pause before she eventually resumed. Thanks to Lupa making sure her sister would just listen this time.

"After the brother died, the parents pulled out a gun and shot their daughter. And then they were arrested."

"No way!" Lacy gasped.

"Yes way," Lupa returned an evil grin. "That left the rest of the family afraid of their future. One of them went to hell after joining a vampire cult. Another got drunk and died in an alleyway. And then another one got their own gun and shot Aunt Lori! And then it turned out she was pregnant with Uncle Bobby's child and," Lupa inhaled. "A-and then he committed suicide because his wife died and then-!"

Lupa gasped for air. "And then they all died! The end." The girl turned off her flashlight before hopping onto her bed. "So, what did you think?"

Lacy looked at her sister with a stunned face. She was... horrified. But not in a good way.

That was probably the worst story she was ever told in her entire life. The family all just killed each other in the end for no reason? And why did one of the sisters join a cult? That had nothing to do with the rest of the story.

Worst of all was when Lupa's charade was ruined by the girl's own excitement. She accidentally changed the curse to bad luck mid-way through and referenced Aunt Lori. She didn't even know where to begin with that part.

One would expect an innocent girl like Lacy to cry and run to her daddy. Tattling on her sister for the story she told. That wasn't the case. Lacy is older than Lupa by several months. It was only a matter of time before she's a teenager. No. That story was just terrible.

"I hated it!" Lacy proclaimed.

That was when their father walked in. A man in an orange shirt with a head of white hair uncannily similar to Lupa's own.

"So, your mom told me that you were telling scary stories?" Lincoln Loud looked over to Lupa's direction. Keeping a hand on his hip.

"Too late for you to join in. We're going to bed now." Lupa got under the covers before shutting her eyes.

Having a sense of humor, Lincoln couldn't help but chuckle. "Right. You do that. But only AFTER you tell me what that story was. I couldn't help but notice how familiar it was,"

"Mom told me about it." She answered.

"Oh. She did, did she?" Lincoln groaned. It was almost like he expected to hear that.

"You two go to bed. I'll have a talk with your mom."

"Your funeral," Lupa commented to her father's confusion.

Lincoln headed over to the house's living room. On the family couch was his younger sister and Lupa's mother reading a book. How she managed to read with all the lights off and through her black hair's bangs, Lincoln will never know.

He sat right next to her on the couch. Allowing an awkward silence to take over before continuing. "So... a mysterious little honey bee told me about a story she heard from you.

Lincoln watched as Lucy continued to read her book as if he didn't say anything.

"Something about bad luck," He clarified.

It took another few moments before Lucy let out an audible "Sigh...". She bookmarked the page she was on before turning to her brother. "Is there any reason I should be criticized for telling the next generation about our pasts?"

Lincoln had to think about his choice of words for a moment. Especially as the woman's judgmental eyes were (probably) glaring at him.

"I just think that there are some stories we're better off burying. It isn't like Lynn is holding your interest in Princess Pony over your head,"

"That's because she never learned about it."

"Valid, but that's not what I'm talking about." Lincoln was never one to fight his sisters on anything. Conversations were one thing but everybody loses in yelling competitions. Even Lynn understood that much as she got older.

"Then what are you talking about?" She asked. Not out of ignorance but out of a cynical curiosity.

Lincoln decided to be up front this time. "Lupa told Lacy that we all murdered each other thanks to the... squirrel suit."

"Saying so isn't inaccurate. After all, are we truly alive anymore if we lose our own humanity?"

"Lucy, as much as I hated that squirrel suit, I didn't die in it."

"You did die on the inside, did you not?"

Now Lincoln caught himself sighing. Here Lucy was on his side while he was arguing against her. "We were kids, Luce. Lynn was thirteen and we weren't even teenagers yet,"

Lincoln had to count on his fingers before realizing that 24 years have gone by since the "No Such Luck Incident", as Lupa put it earlier.

"That doesn't justify our parents kicking you out of the house. Favoring their daughter's own festering paranoia."

"Okay. You got me there." Even Lincoln had to admit that their parents were insane for that one. "But isn't it enough to just be better than them?"

"There are many other instances our sisters betrayed your trust, Lincoln. I'm no exception, as much as I despise admitting that."

As much as Lincoln would have loved to continue talking, he heard a basketball buzzer go off in his pocket. Lynn texted him.

He could see his gothic sister cringing at the sudden noise. Lincoln took his phone out to see what it was about.

"You better watch the BIG game tmrw, Stinkoln! Don't bathe until then"

Lucy was able to see the text after leaning over. "Sigh..." She sighed before getting up. "I'm taking a shower."

"But Lynn said to not bathe until after the game's over."

"Exactly, Lincoln. Lynn said bathe. Not shower. Besides, I'm not going to be watching any games with her until she admits she broke my Edwin bust."

"That's what happened to it?!" He asked.

Lincoln let her go. Figuring it wasn't that big of a deal. He even figured it was worth following her until a massive thud came from Lacy and Lupa's bedroom. Just as he stood up, too.

Going up the stairs and opening the door revealed an albino demon sinking her teeth into her sister's arm. "Ow! Stop biting me!" Lacy yelled.

Lincoln ripped the girls apart to break up the fight. "Okay, what the heck is going on here?"

"Lacy threw a baseball at me after calling my story terrible!"

"I just wanted to play catch with you! I didn't mean to hit you in the head with it!"

Lincoln knew his daughters like the back of his Ace Savvy comicbook collection. Between them, Lacy wouldn't hurt a fly and Lupa would smash it because her sister didn't want to. That wasn't to say that Lupa was a liar.

"Your story never even happened!" Lacy resumed the argument.

"Mom calls it historical fiction!" Lupa defended.

"Isn't that like... a contradiction or something?"

Lincoln had to stop this before it has a chance to get worse. "If you two apologize, we can get some Burpin' Burger on the way back from school tomorrow."

The two girls lingered a bit. Lupa was the first. "Lacy... I'm sorry I bit you."

"Sorry for hitting you in the head, Lupa."

Relieved at the fact he was able to diffuse the bomb, he said good night to the two before turning the light back off. Watching them lay down before leaving.

Lupa waited a few seconds before saying something else. "Our parents are still morons, though."

Lacy giggled before turning over in her bed. "That's sort of true."

As much as I enjoy some of the other Sinkids, there's no reason to squeeze eleven or more into every single story. Especially if it ends up being a distraction from the story you're trying to tell. Is there a Lyra or even a London Loud in this universe? Maybe, but maybe not.

Hence why this "No Such Luck" parody is set long after the episode's events. I figured this fanfic could double as a way to show how Lincoln doesn't need to commit a prima nocta on Royal Woods for a Sinkids story to work. Explaining why Uncle Bobby is a thing here and why Lincoln isn't randomly said to be married to Ronnie Anne.

This is just a one-shot and I don't have plans on elaborating on this particular AU.