Here's chapter 8: Academy troubles.
Warning Trigger alert:
There is a part of the chapter at the end that describes - not in detail - rape and circumstances for captured Kunoichi including a distasteful lesson on ways to try and get a few seconds to escape/injure/kill. It's disturbing but realistic for what would be taught for a war involving young girls and women unfortunately. I wish the real world and a war torn anime one didn't have that as a realistic consequence for a female, but they exist and im not going to gloss over it or ignore it, it would be a detriment to the story to pretend it doesn't exist.
It is not explicit - just disturbing subject matter.
The scene will have a bolded line saying a disturbing scene begins and when it ends. For those who want to completely skip it.
The basis of the scene is Inohana coming to the horrifying revelation of what dangers actually await her out there as a girl. Knowing that, you don't have to read the rest of the scene if you find the subject matter disturbing.
There is a reason the second category of the story is marked Horror. So avoid it or read knowing this, if you don't want to read, then don't read.
This weekend I'm posting a chapter each for Divine and Conquer and for Waking Nightmare. Starting after this post, I'll move to a two week schedule. Where I'll post one of the two stories next weekend, and the one not posted follows the weekend after.
Of course extra updates might happen if I am in a very productive writing mood. Or less if I'm not. But this is the intended schedule.
As usual I do not own, make money off, or in any way have a right to the characters of Naruto or its world. I'm just a lowly fanfiction writer.
Hope you enjoy it!
***
My stay at Kushina-sensei's place over the night was a little bit more tense after the latest round of revelations. I just had enough after the day I'd had and I didn't want to step outside the house and find that I somehow would stumble across Jiraiya and he'd make me his apprentice for porn writing or something asinine. If I could, I would stay in the house for the next week and just grouch over my shitty luck. Unfortunately I do have my academy entrance exam today.
Kushina-sensei makes me breakfast, she's chatting away and assuring me I will do well on the tests and generally acting more anxious then I am. It's not really helping my frayed nerves from the last few days, weeks, months really.
I have no doubt I'll get into the graduation year, I have the theory entirely memorized over the past six months. These tests will be a breeze. I suffer through several bone breaking hugs. Step out of the door. And sigh wearily. Because of course…
"You can not be serious?" I ask Tsunade, the Sannin standing on the street just outside Kushina-sensei's house, Dan hovering around her, sending me a jaunty wave.
"I'm not here to hassle you." Tsunade assures me, looking apologetic.
Kushina-sensei had told me about what she and Orochimaru had done. So I am not in the most charitable mood.
I scoff and start walking, hefting my backpack with my bento and supplies over one shoulder. In case I ended up having to stay later than planned. "Sure, you're just ambushing me right before my academy tests for my own benefit." I say sarcastically.
"Be nice to Tsuna-chan, she's had a rough couple years." Dan chides me, flying up to my side, as I casually insert a fist into his stupid ghostly blue face. As usual nothing happens - but it makes me feel better.
Tsunade falls into step next to me. Just what I need. A Sannin escort to the academy. Fantastic. So instead of genius civilian girl graduates in a year, it's going to be; of course, she has the Sannin, of course she graduated. Not because of her skills. The Sannin helped…
"Something on your mind, Tsunade-sama." I say semi-politely. Staring straight ahead, glad that it was early enough not a lot of people populated the streets.
"I wanted to apologize, for both myself and Orochimaru. We acted rashly and with too much excitement and didn't take your feelings into account." Tsunade says softly, and she did really look sorry - when I glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes.
"So you're not going to make me spend time torturing prisoners with Orochimaru until I perfect my skills?" I ask, giving her a sardonic smile as she doesn't refute my question. I shake my head, "Save the fake apologies, you're not actually sorry. You might feel sorry it's happening, but you'll still do it."
Tsunade doesn't really have an answer to that, and just silently keeps walking with me. Her chakra moves in a slight state of turmoil. She's honestly upset, which is more than I can say for Orochimaru. I'm still kind of pissed though.
"You're being too harsh on her." Dan, chides, flying in front of me, frowning down at me. "She really does feel bad. She's just out of options."
"Your ghost boyfriend won't stop defending you. So I guess you're doing something right." I tell her, not being a complete jerk, and knowing she desperately wants to be able to communicate with him, but probably doesn't dare ask me right now. Besides, I can be as mad as I want. Having a Sannin owe me, feel indebted to me. It's too useful to throw away for hurt feelings, or even being forced to work with Orochimaru.
Tsunade smiles radiantly. Eyes lighting up, such a small thing able to make her so happy. I sigh, letting some of my resentment go. It's really hard to be mad at people who doesn't have bad intentions. "If you have questions for him, ask now." I allow, begrudgingly.
"Does he know what happened? His spirit technique transforms his body, he's practically invulnerable like that, how did his spirit and body become separate? And why can't he return?" She fires off quickly, eyes intent on me.
"I don't remember what happened, although I have a vague feeling I ran into some sort of sealing technique. I don't know how I became separated, and something is preventing me from possessing my body or any others or I would have been able to communicate before." Dan explains.
I pass the information along to Tsunade dutifully. Eyes staring ahead flatly as I walk towards the academy. Dully taking in ninja doing a double take seeing the Sannin with a little girl. I think back to when I was in the recovery room and throw out my observation, "When I felt Dan-san's chakra, there was something odd with it, like it was constricted, perhaps locked inside. Ghost-Dan barely registers so he probably had his chakra mostly locked away."
Tsunade nods thoughtfully, "If it was a sealing technique there are numerous possibilities, but it's an avenue to look into." She clears her throat, "I really can't make this up to you, and I'm sorry for the havoc this is causing you. Anything I can do to help, just ask. Here, this is for the academy just in case." She hands me a note, giving me a blinding thankful smile, and then she's gone, without any sign. S-rank ninja really were OP.
I have a feeling she would have asked me a lot more if the gates of the academy weren't coming up, I look down at the note with a frown. Dan floating above me starts to chuckle. And I can't help but to do the same.
To whom it may concern
Tsubuki Inohana may at times talk to thin air, ask questions of no one in particular or hold conversations for no apparent reason.
This note authorizes Tsubuki Inohana to do so at any time during academy hours without consequence due to the spirit following her.
Signed
Senju Tsunade of the Sannin, Slug princess and student of the Sandaime Hokage.
She literally gave me a note to disrupt class whenever I wanted to talk to Dan. Or he bugged me enough that I had an outburst. At least my classmates wouldn't think me entirely insane if I had a note from one of the Sannin explaining it.
I could literally say anything and blame it on the spirit following me. I grin deviously. Oh, the academy might end up being quite fun after all.
I join the small queue of kids, most with their parents with them. Placement tests like these were mostly for civilians. Ensuring that the academy wasn't wasting time on kids that had zero clues about what they were signing up for. The odd clan brat wanting to skip ahead classes would sign up as well, or be signed up by their clan. Mostly the second. Hatake Kakashi as usual was the outlier, crazy dedicated baby Shinobi that he is.
I wonder if he's been assigned to Minato yet? I know he graduated just recently…
It was doubtful today that anyone other than me, would be trying to take the advanced placement tests. With war in the air, parents wanted their kids to be in the academy for the full duration, hoping the war would be over by the time they graduated. Ninja clans sent brats to their death as a matter of course. Civilian parents weren't quite as sanguine about it.
As I waited in line I pondered my trajectory. My original plan has completely shattered with all that's happened in the last year. I had planned to equal Kakashi's academy record, and I still would, I was sure of it. But then after that I figured I'd be flying under the radar pretty much - due to my young age and civilian status. While Kakashi climbed higher in rank at a ridiculous speed, I'd move slower gathering strength. Becoming Chuunin at 6 was just ridiculously pointless. Then Kushina happened. My calm collected unemotional path forward got derailed, one hug and ruffle of hair at a time.
I couldn't deny that I had gotten incredibly attached to Kushina, after spending my first four years practically emotionless and cold with no care for my family or its servants. I couldn't really complain could I? I couldn't imagine life without her now. And there was no point in becoming a super powerful kunoichi if I didn't have people to protect and spend time with anyway. I wouldn't be another Orochimaru. I couldn't be just alone for eternity. I'd rather go down kicking and happy. Instead of a demented selfish traitor like Orochimaru.
And if anything has been taught to me so far… It's that happiness and trustworthy people are not easy to find, so don't let it, or them, go when you grasp it.
And there is the real kink in my plan isn't it? I can handle Kushina, even handle her dragging Minato into my life. Which no doubt would drag team 7 into it as well. But Tsunade and Orochimaru - now that's a different kind of problem.
Having two Sannin's attention is not really a good thing. For my career maybe, the contacts would only make me look better, after all. Well, until Orochimaru defected anyway... But I do not want to be associated with the Sannin in a war. I had planned on being able to fight on the periphery of the war as young as I was. With the Sannin as my 'sponsors' I'd likely be sent into the deep end. Not to mention the risk of enemy ninja actually knowing about me and targeting me to get back at them!
As distasteful as it is. I'll really have to pump Orochimaru and Tsunade as much as I can for anything they'll give me. I'll need it to survive. I'll have to take advantage of Tsunade's gratitude and guilt and Orochimaru's scientific curiosity. And grab as much skill and knowledge I can get out of it.
I also have Dan and Kushina. So… I wasn't lacking in teachers. Any other ninja student would be green in envy at just one of these names. Since I'll never be a Ninjutsu powerhouse, I'll have to perfect every basic technique and trick they can teach me. I will survive. And I will make a name out there. I will keep Kushina-sensei alive!
I blink and snap out of my musings as I finally arrive at the desk, a Chuunin with purple hair in short spikes and Inuzuka tattoos blinking down at me. *Here all by yourself, huh? Academy entrance exam, sweetie?"
"Advanced placement tests. My name is Tsubuki Inohana." I say, filled with nervous energy. This was it. The start.
The Inuzuka Chuunin eyes me skeptically, looking through the paperwork on her desk. I can tell when she finds it because she inhales sharply, and there's a slight spike in her chakra.
"Room 102, good luck." She says, looking displeased. She gives me a short smile as if to assure me she's not displeased with me. I simply nod and move along. It's not going to be an odd reaction going forward. Although there are no technical limits on graduating age. No ninja likes seeing kids my age on the battlefield. It's a sign of failure on behalf of the older generation in keeping their children safe.
And it is a failure. No bones about it. The older generation have spectacularly failed to create even a limited peace.
Not that it really means me, because I am not really a child. Even if my brain chemistry keeps trying to override my brain and make me act my age, I am most of the time, quite mature. It really fucked up other kids like Kakashi though. That guy, if things continue as canon - would be like a therapist's wet dream. they'd be able to afford two vacation homes and a yacht before the guy even gets to talking about the Naruto era.
I enter room 102 silently, Dan trailing behind me quietly - looking wistful. Must have been some time since he was here last.
A thin reedy Chuunin with dark hair and hawkish eyes is lounging by the desk. He raises a lazy eyebrow upon seeing me, but has no other reaction to my age. Considering I'm the only student here, he's probably well read up on me anyway.
"The test is on the desk, you have four hours. If at any point you wish to leave the room, your test results will be scored as they are at that time. No questions will be allowed." He drawls mechanically, before closing his eyes and ignoring me completely.
"Nara's." Dan chuckles, hovering above me as I sit down at the appointed desk, a thick slab of paper in front of me. There must be at least 300 pages. They truly would test me on most of the academy curriculum.
I flip open the first page, Dan looking over my shoulder as I start in on the test. The beginning is ridiculously easy. Questions like; name the Hokage, the five major countries, and so on. About ten pages in comes more advanced geography questions and some simple math problems and the like. Still, simple enough to sleepwalk through.
I write solidly for an hour before I start hitting more intensive questions. Battle scenarios, morality questions, thinly veiled propaganda. Questions on how to plan an infiltration, complete anatomy charts where I'd need to mark major kill spots. And on and on it went. None of it truly difficult, and I made sure to answer like a proper will of fire adherent in the proper places - because I'm not an idiot.
I easily pick out a few questions on esoteric non-Konoha information that seems slotted in to perhaps catch an infiltrator - as it wasn't in any information found in the academy library. Common ninja information that someone might assume would be taught. I leave those alone, since they are obviously, to me anyway - not supposed to be answered. Especially if I want to avoid some pointed questions on how I know the information. A regular kid, no matter how much book smarts they have acquired, wouldn't be able to answer those, so I don't. I only know the information due to show knowledge.
Not until the last ten or so pages do I run into minor difficulties. Ciphers, which hadn't been covered much in the academy library, code breaking and code creation. I chew my lip as I stare at the page. Leaving anything blank goes against my whole being, but I literally do not know this Konoha cipher. And the academy library had not had texts for how to do decryption.
Dan chuckles beside my ear, "I could tell you the answer." He offers, with a sly whisper.
I immediately nod my head, listening as he walks me through the last ten pages of material. I wouldn't balk at cheating. I am going to become a ninja. You take whatever advantage you can. Soon enough I lay my pen down.
For better or worse, I'm now in the final stretch of becoming a ninja.
The Nara at the desk lazily picks his head up from where he had been appearing to nap. "Done already? You still have half an hour. You sure you don't want to go over any answers?" He drawls.
"I've aced it." I say, confident in my abilities. And my cheating ghost, who would have told me if I was making any obvious mistakes.
The Nara hums, unconvinced, his dark eyes looks me over and he purses his lips, "Whatever, it's on your head if you're wrong. You'll get your answer by tonight," He seemingly thinks it over, looking at the thick stack of papers." Probably." He amends, yawning.
Looking at the Nara, I severely doubt I'll get the answer tonight. I sigh, standing from my chair, I give him a small respectful bow, and pick up my backpack. And I quietly exit the classroom.
I'd say I was surprised to find Kushina-sensei waiting for me outside - even though I finished half an hour early. But I'd be lying. It wouldn't surprise me if she has been waiting there since just after I started. It feels somewhat pointless to have packed a lunch if she was going to be here so early anyway, but that's sensei.
She proudly presents me with a colorful pink and orange paper hat - which says number one ninja, in glitter. I look at it, open my mouth to say something scathing. Then I think better of it and take the ridiculous thing and I put it on my head. "I'm wearing it. You're buying me BBQ." I say flatly. Although I can't help a small twitch to my lips.
Kushina-sensei grins at me, "You're so cute right now, I'll forgive you for not asking for ramen, Dattebane."
I pretend to think it over. "If we go for ramen can I take off the hat?" I ask, smirking at her. Making her choose ramen or the hat she made. Such a silly thing, but I feel warm wearing it. Kushina-sensei made me something, it just makes me all gooey inside. My - I'm going to be a hard-ass, cold kunoichi plan, is totally wrecked.
"The hat stays on." Sensei, says firmly. Surprising me, Kushina-sensei saying no to ramen was just that big of a deal. She must really be wanting to reward me, to give in so easily for my favorite food.
"Then I demand BBQ in tribute," I playfully stick my tongue out at her. Feeling lighter than I have in awhile now that the academy tests are done with.
"Yosh! We'll have an eating contest, Dattebane!" Kushina-sensei yells excitedly, drawing a lot of attention. Which invariably had people giggling and pointing at my ridiculous hat.
"I'm five, you'll be able to stuff way more food in you - so it isn't a fair contest." I immediately nix the idea of an eating contest.
"Are you calling me fat, Dattebane?" Kushina-sensei asks dangerously, but I can see the amused glint in her eyes. We're both in a playful mood today it seems.
"I think your butt has gotten bigger, yeah." I say with a grin, snorting as she makes the most ridiculous wounded cry, half falling against a wall. "Don't worry sensei, I'll still love you even when you have to be wheeled out of the house." I tease.
"You brat!" She shouts, lunging for me, I skip out of the way, laughing. She grins at me and makes another lunge. And somehow we end up in a wild chase down a street market. Dodging stalls and people, almost knocking over a fruit stand, Kushina-sensei making sure to just barely catch me. Until we reach a plaza - and she tackles me into a fountain in a big splash. Both of us are spluttering, spitting out water. Before we both look at each other and start giggling.
Our plan to get BBQ is slightly derailed as we have to go home and get changed first. The fact I have all my changes of clothes at Kushina-sensei's place reminds me that I need to spend more time at my actual home, well… The greenhouse part of it anyways. My greenhouse would need more attention until I have put in enough seal work that it will mostly take care of itself.
Yakiniku-Q is lively and loud when we finally arrive, dressed and with dry hair. Luckily we get a booth, Kushina-sensei speaks with the owner and talks fast, hands waving in the air. With how full the place is I wonder briefly if sensei is bribing or threatening the poor owner. In the end I decide it hardly matters - because I'm about to eat my weight in BBQ.
Not exactly as hard as it sounds. I'm still pathetically tiny.
Kushina-sensei slides in next to me, eschewing sitting across from me when she can hug my side instead. Resting her chin on the top of my head. "I ordered dessert first, Dattebane!" She declares and I can feel the smile on her face.
"Sensei, you're teaching me bad habits." I mock, feeling pretty weird being so publicly embraced. Yeah, sensei does it all the time, but we're in a restaurant right now, filled with mostly ninja. It makes me itch to not be seen as so vulnerable. My eyes flit back and forth, trying to tell if someone's watching us.
Kushina-sensei literally bites my hair, pulling on it, making me yelp. "Nope, no stress, you're relaxing. ~Ree-laaa-xxing~ Dattebane!" Kushina-sensei chides me gently.
"Having my hair bitten isn't very relaxing." I mutter, but I flush slightly. Sensei is right. I'm here to enjoy myself.
Then as if I've doomed myself the lights go out. I tense immediately, but Kushina-sensei won't let me go, and is she seriously giggling right now!?
The lights come back on and I stare wide eyed as all the ninja in the restaurant are watching us - as a cake is being brought to our table. It's absolutely horribly garishly orange, with red swirls, and dark forest green clashing violently with the other colors. In big pink letters it spells out, Congratulations on your apprenticeship!
Kushina slides down from my head so we're cheek to cheek - as she ruffles my hair playfully. Whispering to me, "I filed the paperwork today, it's official, Dattebane. You'll never get rid of me now! And you'll have to start calling me shisou, neh?"
I'm speechless, staring at the cake, the warmth of Kushina pressing against me. The cake is deposited on our table, barely fitting without ending up on the mid table grill - barely avoiding going up in flames. As my brain reboots I notice that I recognize a lot of the people around us. I could see Mikoto with Fugaku at a table not far from us. And I was sure that was the Ino-Shika-Chou trio in the corner. Even Tsunade was here, Dan hovering near her, even if she stayed as far away from Kushina as possible while still sitting inside the restaurant - a young girl with her who must be Shizune. "Wh-what's going on?" I choke out.
Kushina kisses my cheek gently. "Dummy," She says warmly. "This is me saying I'm keeping you, Dattebane!"
I blame my childish brain chemistry for breaking out crying in front of all these top ninjas. No other reason. None at all.
When I woke up the next morning. The third Shinobi war had started. Because of course.
***
A week later
Not surprisingly my test results were amazing and I was told to report for the academy to join the senior graduating class. Unless I completely flub the academy three and Taijutsu class, I will be graduating by the spring, 5 and a half years and some change old. Doing the entire academy in one session just as Kakashi had.
As I enter the classroom I frown at how varied it is. I can see several younger kids, not as young as me, but still no more than seven to nine. As well as older kids from ten to twelve. It was far from the canon class setup. I took a seat in the back, near the window, surreptitiously watching for people I can recognize.
Katō Shizune is in the class, sitting by the front, quietly talking with a purple haired girl. They looked about nine or ten. And kami, save my ear drums. On the other end of the front desks, I could see Maito Gai, one of the younger kids in class. By my guess, he couldn't be older than six, seven tops. And I see a boy near him that might be Shiranui Genma, if his senbon fascination started this early. I'd guess his age at nine to ten. And next to him was definitely Ebisu looking to be about the same age as Genma.
I pray to any divine being that would listen that I would not get Gai on my team. Shizune is practically destined to be Tsunade's apprentice and go work in the hospital, and although I am apprenticing to Kushina-shishou, I am still expected to fill a regular roster slot as well.
If I remember correctly, Gai graduated a year after Kakashi - so this should be that graduation class. I should have ignored trying to match Kakashi's record and waited a year. That's the year with Rin, Asuma and Kurenai and company, who'll all be around nine at the time. And the boy I'm still wondering about whether I need to pre-emptively kill. Uchiha Obito. Gai should be on a team with Genma and Ebisu. So I should be safe.
The class seems somewhat equally divided by civilians and clan members. I only spot a few Hyuuga, Uchiha and Aburame in the class. One solitary Nara. No Akimichi, Yamanaka or Inuzuka that I can tell. I have a feeling everyone would pass this class, no matter what, cannon fodder is needed, sad to say. I wonder if any of the civilians in this class will live to see puberty. Sometimes I wonder if I will.
The odds aren't exactly amazing.
I sigh, settling back in my seat. This is going to be a long year, although with the war and condensed classes an academy 'year' is actually six months now. I hope my sensei isn't too weird. Considering Gai is in the class, I am hoping for a sensei who can control his volume.
I sigh deeply as an old scarred Inuzuka grumpily stomps into the room, glaring at everyone. Probably a retiree brought back to do a non front line job because of the war. Which means he's probably absolutely loving the opportunity to work with kids - totally his choice. And Inuzuka are obviously well known for their calm and even temperaments… Yeah, my hopes for a quiet calm year in class is probably completely shot. Also its interesting, I've now seen two Inuzuka at the academy. Not generally where you look to find the brash clan. With the war, perhaps their unquestionable loyalty is more important than any skill at dealing with children.
"Alright you brats! You're gonna call me Gaku-sensei. Now stand up and give me your damn name and keep it at that, I ain't gonna bother remembering your hopes and dreams until you at least survive puberty." Gaku-sensei barks out, glaring at us all, his graying hair splayed out wildly like he just rolled out of a bush, which, he's an Inuzuka, he might have.
Down the list they go starting from the front. Gaku-sensei has to tell off Gai twice when he fails to keep it to just his name. Eventually they came to my little back corner. And it honestly didn't surprise me when half the class does a second take - having not realized I was even there. Dan hovering next to me is trying to stifle a chuckle. I don't know why, since I'm the only one that can hear him.
"Tsubuki Inohana." I say, short and sweet.
Gaku-sensei groans, running a hand through his hair, "Not another Kami damn prodigy!" He points a finger at me accusingly, "You better not practice any Kami damn elemental jutsu in here just cuz you're bored or I'll swear to the Sandaime I'll have you doing D-ranks for your entire career!"
He grimaces, looking up at the ceiling before letting out a loud huff of air and catching my eyes again, glaring at me, "I don't care how smart you think you are, to me you're just a dumb brat, so don't think you're gonna get special treatment." He growls at me.
Singled out by the teacher immediately, great. Well if I'm the center of attention anyway…. I turn to Dan, pointedly not facing my sensei, "This is already annoying, can't I just do homeschooling?"
Dan gives me a flat look, "Really? Your first class?"
"Tsubuki, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Gaku-sensei growls, eye twitching.
I raise an unimpressed eyebrow, "I'm sorry sensei, I'll get to you in a minute, I'm speaking to my ghost sensei right now." You're not that important, is what I'm going for. Yes, I'm a shit disturber. I'm also 50 and not going to just roll over for this growling puppy.
Dan shakes his head, hands to his face, as you can hear a pin drop in the dead silence of the classroom, or a senbon, which happens as Genma is gaping at me in sheer astonishment of my bullshiting - or balls, and the senbon he was chewing on falls to the floor.
Gaku-sensei is looking at me like I'm insane, which is fair. But I already figure we will not be getting along after his opening shot at me, so I am not going to put in the effort. His opening statement already speaks for what he thinks of too smart brats.
"Your ghost-sensei!?" Gaku-sensei forces out between clenched teeth.
"I have a note." I say with a sweet smile, plucking the note from Tsunade out of my pocket.
"For insanity?" Genma chokes out, Ebisu smacking his arm, as Gaku-sensei sends them a warning look.
I tilt my head, giving Genma a pleasant smile. "A note from Tsunade-sama allowing me to take direction from the ghost following me at any time." I mean I was given the note, so she can't blame me for using it…. Even if it's the first ten minutes of the year.
"You managed to fool Tsunade-sama!?" Genma says in total awe. Shizune looks mightily unimpressed from where she is sitting. If she thinks I'm playing a prank on Tsunade, the girl is definitely not going to like me anytime soon.
Gaku-sensei tosses a bit of chalk and nails Genma right in the middle of the eyes. "No interruptions." He yells. Ebisu just shakes his head next to Genma, as Genma sheepishly mimes locking his lips.
"Let me see that note." Gaku-sensei stomps up to my row, practically ripping it out of my hand. He squints at it, growling even louder as it confirms what I'm saying.
"I told you my year wouldn't be normal." I say conversationally to Dan.
"No, not when you're being a little shit on day one, on purpose." He replies frowning down at me, "Your poor sensei." He shakes his head wryly, "This is Kushina's influence."
"Anyone gets out of their seat I'll have them wash the toilets until they graduate!" Gaku-sensei barks suddenly, face red as he holds my note, he eyes me, "You, come with me." He gives me an ugly grin, "We're going to go see Tsunade-sama and sort this out!"
"Oh good, thank you for being so understanding, sensei!" I say with a saccharine smile.
Gaku-sensei just growls and gestures for me to go first. The trip to the hospital is tense on the part of my sensei, his face twitching more and more for everytime I skip cheerfully down the road or hum a children's tune.
"You're actually evil, aren't you?" Dan says as he follows behind me, watching Gaku-sensei get more and more irritated.
"I'm just a little genius, obviously I don't know better than to blow up classrooms, so why would I know how to act?" I answer Dan, while poking at my sensei and giving him a clue to why I started this all. I am already an outlier, I don't need to be called out by my sensei too. If I am going to be standing out in the class I might as well do it fully. I am not going to let myself be dumped on - because of my age. Or it would never stop. I'd be the youngest in any scenario for ages. I will not spend the next twenty years being patronized. I don't have to be liked. I've never been one with a large circle of friends. I'll keep Kushina-shishou and whoever else gets close. Fuck the rest.
As we arrive at the hospital, Gaku-sensei marches me up right to the reception desk, the ninja in the lobby immediately taking notice - although they don't make it obvious. I immediately grimace at the feel of chakra, even here in the lobby I can feel the pain and sickness - it's like a beacon to my chakra sense.
"Can I help you? Is your child injured?" The receptionist, a barely in her teens mousy brunette - in the scrubs of an apprentice med nin, asks Gaku-sensei. She's giving me a quick once over for obvious injuries.
Gaku-sensei attempts a smile but it comes out as a horrible grimace, the scars on his face pulling at his lips. "We need to see Tsunade-sama, right away."
Credit where credit is due, the mousy girl immediately straightens her back and gives Gaku-sensei a disapproving look, "Tsunade-sama only deals with the most serious of cases, she does not do walk-ins for children with scrubbed knees."
Gaku-sensei bares his teeth at her, growling out for all the lobby to hear, "The brat has forged a document from Tsunade-sama to try and get out of trouble in the academy."
Wow, he's really going as far as he can with this. I think, unimpressed. What kind of war veteran gets this unhinged over some backtalk.
I notice the intent in the room is different, even the mousy girl is looking at me with distaste. Medics are sacred, and you don't mess with them, you definitely don't waste their time. I better nip this in the bud slightly.
"Lying about forgery openly in a public space about a ninja or ninja prospect is an interesting move for you to make, Gaku-sensei." I say mildly, with a look of polite interest, ensuring my voice is just loud enough to be heard across the room. My calmness in light of the accusation against me has the ninja assessing the situation differently. This is probably like prime time soap opera tv for the people in this lobby right now. I wonder what the Konoha gossip chain will make of this.
"Just get Tsunade-sama, put this brat in her place, and we can all move on." Gaku-sensei tells the receptionist, sneering down at me after she grudgingly accepts, like he's won. I really hope Tsunade wasn't kidding about that note…
Soon enough I can feel Tsunade's chakra moving towards us, she does not feel happy. As she stomps into the lobby Dan gulps from beside me, "Maybe today wasn't the best day, Inohana-chan."
I shake my head, disagreeing despite everything. If my sensei was going to be like this, I'd rather have our hate, hate relationship hashed out from day one.
"Inohana? What are you doing here, isn't it the first day of the academy?" Tsunade barks out, her hand jerking out, before she seemingly remembers that she can not in fact just casually use a diagnostic jutsu on me. She turns to my sensei, "Did you get her injured on the first day? What kind of incompetent sensei are you? What are her injuries?" She barks out looking seriously pissed off.
Gaku-sensei is looking markedly more unsure about himself right now, eyes a bit wide at being the focus of Tsunade's rage. "Tsunade-sama, the brat is fine! I took her to you because she forged a note with your signature!" He's not growling anymore, head lowered slightly. Not the alpha here, are you? I think amusedly.
Tsunade does not look impressed. Everyone in the lobby is watching the confrontation while pretending they're absolutely busy with something else. "So you receive a note. With my chakra imprint. My signature." She starts flatly, amber eyes sparking. "You're an Inuzuka as well, so my scent!" She growls, incensed, and Gaku-sensei rears back whitefaced. "And you drag the brat to the hospital on her first day of the academy, to come whine at the director of the hospital!?"
Gaku-sensei bows quickly, at least being intelligent enough to see when he's lost and needs to back off. "I apologize, Tsunade-sama, for wasting your time, it won't happen again!" He bites out, "I'll return to the academy immediately." He turns to me, glaring at me in impotent fury. "Come, girl!" He barks.
Tsunade's hand clamps down on his shoulder and he freezes. "The girl can stay with me today, since you decided to take her out of the academy anyway, that's fair, isn't it?" She says sweetly, only an idiot not hearing the threatening undertone.
"Tsuna-chan is so beautiful when she's angry." Dan sighs, love sick. I turn his way and whisper, "Can you not." With a pained grimace.
Gaku-sensei slinks off without a look back at me, having decided that retreat was in order. I'd applaud him for his common sense, if he hadn't been dumb enough to ignore Tsunade's chakra imprint on the note. Which genius or not, he should not suspect a 5 year old to have forged. No matter what nonsense the note stated. Although he is an old injured veteran Inuzuka, maybe chakra sensing isn't something he can do? Whatever. Still his problem.
"You're coming with me." Tsunade says firmly, hoisting me up on her hip and carrying me off. I sigh despondently, "You too, Tsunade-sama? What is it with everyone carrying me everywhere?" Also I'm 5, not 2 - it should not be this easy for people to carry me around.
"You're adorable, deal with it." She says brusquely. Heels tapping away at the vinyl flooring. "Since you're here, you can study some medical texts while I work, Kurama Kanae has told me about the homework she's given you."
I would have never guessed she was a clan member, huh? Kurama, well I guess if anyone is going to know about spiritual chakra it's a Kurama medic. I think idly, being carried across hallways, the layout being annoyingly spiral and criss-crossing, lacking the helpful signs or arrows I remember from my life, ninja obsessively making it difficult to move around even in their own hospital. Well… It's not paranoia when I can mention a dozen villages who'd take the chance to blow up our hospital…
"Ask her if she's eating enough, she's looking a bit thin." Dan frets, circling us. Face pinched as he observes Tsunade.
"Ugh, loverboy wants to make sure you're eating enough, he says you're too thin." I dutifully pass along.
Tsunade smiles at me, the stress lines literally melting away as she does. Kami, this woman should smile more, "Dan doesn't need to worry, I can take care of myself, I've just been busy researching different seals that could possibly deal with the spiritual."
"It's been like one week." I say, eyeing her with a frown, "Have you been sleeping properly?" I accuse, having a hunch.
Tsunade laughs lightly, "Brat, when you get as good as me, you go days without sleep without issues."
"No, don't listen to her, sleep is good, don't emulate her!" Dan orders, he looks at Tsunade exasperated, "Don't teach kids bad habits, Tsuna!"
"Dan doesn't agree. Says you're teaching me bad habits." I say, with a tiny smirk.
Tsunade scoffs, "Bad habits are what keeps a Shinobi sane."
"Tsuna! You're a medic!" Dan cries despairingly although the fond look on his face lets me know this is a usual argument between them.
"Is that your professional medical opinion?" I say with a snicker. The layout having changed, the space around us now resembles research labs rather than treatment rooms. Glass walls and lots of microscopes and tubes.
"Damn straight it is." She pauses at an office next to one of the labs, peering around to see if anyone is nearby. "Hey brat? Forget about the homework. Ever played poker?" She asks with a conspiratorial smirk.
Dan groans, putting his face in his hands as I can't help but giggle. Tsunade is the kind of person who'd terribly spoil and corrupt someone else's child isn't she?
"What are you putting up for a bet?" I ask, still giggling. Because if I was going to play a game of chance with the legendary sucker, I'd have to be an idiot to not and try taking advantage.
"No betting!" Dan says making an X in front of him with his arms. At the same time Tsunade scoffs, "No point in gambling with a tiny brat. I'll just show you how to play."
I hum, "Yeah Dan says you shouldn't teach me to gamble as well, he says it would be embarrassing to lose to a kid." I point out innocently.
Tsunade steps into the office, putting me down, eyes lit up and a tiny smirk stretching her painted lips. "He does huh? Well brat, want to learn your first bad habit?" She asks casually.
"Tsuna, no. She's playing you." Dan groans, I just smirk, not passing along his words this time.
"Well I have it on good authority from a world leading medic that bad habits are something I should strive for." I say with a smirk, ignoring the ghost, as Tsunade materializes a deck of cards from somewhere. Did she keep that in between her boobs? What the hell?
After a few hands I find some relief, at least something from canon is kept normal. She really is a legendary sucker.
Even Dan is amused when I win the right to be the godmother to their first child.
He's less amused when I win the right to name her/him and announce that I'm considering the names Dantsuna for a boy and Tsudan for a girl.
By the time I win the right to be said imaginary children's Jounin sensei and the right to name the grandchildren Dan is ignoring us both, pouting in a corner.
Tsunade is really really bad at this.
***
The first couple of weeks of the academy has done remarkably little theory, thankfully expecting students to have learned enough to focus solely on the skills we need to survive.
The emphasis has been on physical conditioning, Taijutsu and weapons. With Ninjutsu and traps to start to be incorporated after the first month of conditioning.
Although some of us might not have those skills in abundance… Which is sad considering they've had several years in the older kids' cases.
The first time we step out onto the academy grounds to practice our shurikenjutsu just settled how this year would go for me.
Gaku-sensei, of course, as one of my biggest fans, immediately puts me on the spot.
"Since we have a genius in the class. It is only right that she demonstrates how to properly throw Kunai and Shuriken." He says with a fanged grin. "TSUBUKI! Front and center! Show us how it's done!" He barks out.
I saunter forward, determined to not let Gaku-sensei bother me. He hands me a pouch with half a dozen each of Kunai and Shuriken. I give him a sweet smile as I inspect the weapons. I'm not overly surprised to find that they are blunt and chipped and practically useless for target practice. Did he really think I'd be stupid enough not to check the weapons?
Dan frowns at him, "He shouldn't try and mess with your training." He sighs, "No matter that you mess right back, " he continues disapprovingly.
I tutt, "Some people can't tell when a weapon is blunt and useless I suppose. Did you want me to find the actual weapons for practice, sensei?" I stare up at him with wide innocent eyes."
There are some snickers in the crowd behind me and Gaku-sensei growls, snatching the pouch back, handing me a new one. I of course check it first. And find perfectly sharp and usable weapons. "Thank you, sensei!" I chirp. Knowing it annoys him.
I step up to the line marked on the ground, scoffing as I see the targets only 40 yards away. Kushina-shishou has forced me to hit moving targets from further away. Not bothering to wait for a command to start, I whip out all six Shuriken, three on each hand, and whip them forward, the weapons curving quickly towards their targets, each hitting a kill spot on the two dummies.
I give my sensei a cheery smile as he frowns at me, eyes annoyed but not surprised, so why bother with putting me on the spot? I decide to make an even larger point with the Kunai. Throwing them in fast succession, putting a hand to my mouth in mock shock, "Oh no I missed!" As they fly by the target dummies, my chakra strings take a hold of them and swerve them back to slam into the kill spots from behind. "~Nevermind~" I giggle and wink at sensei.
"That's not proper throwing technique." He says brusquely, turning his back to me and starting to instruct the rest of the class. Several still send me looks of awe while paying attention to sensei. Fuck you too sensei! I think rolling my eyes behind his back.
"You're really good with those chakra strings." Dan muses loudly from where he is inspecting the target dummies. The ghost dodges a kunai as the other students step up. By pure habit of course, it's not like it could hurt him, but dodging is a good habit to keep.
I'm not really paying attention to the other students, which is how I don't notice until the last few seconds when a civilian student somehow manages to throw his Kunai backwards. Dan throws out a late warning as well - shouting my name. Flying my way. What he thinks he can do - as he can't touch anything, I don't know.
I just barely dodge, the Kunai opening up a scratch along my left shoulder, if I hadn't dodged it would have gone right in, instead of just cutting open the skin. I'm more annoyed by the fact I'll have to sew my clothes now than the wound. Of course it had to hit an area on me where there is less metal undermesh concentrated.
"Are you okay?" Dan asks quickly, hovering around my left shoulder, peering down at my wound. At the same time several students surround me and ask the same thing.
"It's just a scratch, don't worry about it." I say dismissively.
"Oh! I can heal it!" Shizune says, perking up, a small smile on her face as she walks towards me, her hand turning green with medical chakra.
I freeze for a moment, staring at the hand of evil, which is a mistake, it allows it to get too close. I dodge under the hand with a panicked yelp, springing up and punching Shizune straight up under the jaw. The girl doesn't see it coming at all and takes it hard, flopping to the ground, completely knocked out. Tsunade is going to murder me! I think with dread pooling in my gut. I reacted without thinking.
There's complete silence in the academy grounds except for a choked out "Shizune!" From Dan. The ghost fluttering around over her, hands trying to pick her up but just sinking through. And I wondered how to even feel worse and there it is. I think watching the ghost panic over his niece.
There's a few angry mutters amongst the crowd of academy students and I turn to them crossing my arms. "I was fully justified to do that." I say quickly in my defense.
They stare at me with judgemental eyes. Genma coughing out something that sounds like bullshit. Gaku-sensei is kneeling next to Shizune, for once I can't really blame him for sending me a glare.
"She was trying to heal me!" I say defensively to the staring group of students. Somehow this explanation does not in fact endear me to the group.
Before leaving the academy at the end of the day, Genma gives me props, he says it's the fastest he's ever seen anyone alienate a whole group of people before.
I punch him in the face. I feel it was totally justified.
Again. This does not make me popular.
Gaku-sensei seems happy though, he can actually give me detention now. So there's that.
***
Beginning of disturbing part, scroll down to End of disturbing part if you wish to skip the scene.
When the girls separate from the boys for kunoichi classes, I had expected something ridiculous like flower arranging or how to pretend to be a demure housewife. Based on what absolute idiots canon genin girls were from my memory.
Perhaps that's done in the earlier classes. Or perhaps the war setting has changed things. War making it more likely a kunoichi would run into certain issues. So therefore my first class is on rape. And it doesn't really improve from there. Girls ranging from 9-12 sitting with me, all seriously paying attention as Nami-sensei coldly explains the statistics on rape. It was chilling to listen to someone tell a room full of girls that according to statistics over a third of them would be raped. And the only reason it wouldn't be half. Is because those others would have died before getting the chance to be assaulted.
Further classes went into tactics to mitigate the issue. Ways to protect yourself. Ways to escape confinement, escape bindings. Teaching us how to dislocate our thumbs to get out of regular handcuffs or bindings. Teaching us how to act to make a man more likely to keep you alive. How to speak, how to look, how to sound, so as to live another day and look for an escape. And coldly, it also expounded on the many ways to take your life if you couldn't handle it anymore and saw no avenues for escape.
Not surprisingly Dan decided early on that he really didn't need to follow me to kunoichi classes. If a grown Jounin couldn't handle the material it boggles the mind that prepubescent and pubescent girls were supposed to.
The material was not at all what I expected. The sheer mental surrealism of standing in front of class and acting out a rape scenario. Adopting body language and tone of voice that would supposedly make it more likely for me to survive. It was a reminder that being a girl or a woman no matter what world, held risks. And in this world, a kunoichi to many, were worth only their body.
I thought I had mentally prepared myself for my career. I was wrong. I was starting to have difficulty sleeping. Many girls were showing up to the academy with dark bags under their eyes. Kushina-shishou knew exactly what topics we were learning. And would spend less time teaching me on seals. And more time just quietly hanging around, being there but for once not getting touchy. Understanding how jumpy I was about that with the constant teachings, re-enactments and literature we were working through.
As I stand in the doorway to the classroom today, I seriously question whether to just walk back out. Katō Shizune enters, brushing past me, then stops dead, blushing to the tip of her ears. Hesitating in the doorway just like me, before continuing on. I sigh and continue on as well. If Shizune can do this. Then I can as well. And hell, I had actual experience with the real deal, so I shouldn't be a little bitch.
There was definitely something embarrassing though, sitting down at a desk with a wooden phallus in front of you. I guess the ninja version of sex education was going to be today. Hopefully it meant everything rape related was done with in the curriculum. Morbidly I wondered if these had been created back in the day by Senju Hashirama, or whether the academy had gone to a civilian wood crafter and ordered this, and I wonder how that conversation went.
The room slowly fills, some nervous giggles now and then the only thing breaking the silence. Normally the girls were all gossiping and trying to breathe some life into the room ahead of dark topics. Today no one did.
We are all apprehensive.
We've been training to become killers, so we're aware enough to know the likely direction of today's class.
Nami-sensei walks in, as cold and blank as always. Most girls in the room flinch when Nami-sensei slams one of the wooden things down on her desk. I'm ashamed to admit I am one of them, my equilibrium somewhat out of order.
It was just a bit much for me. Imagining all this horror I can face going out on the field. Almost enough to make me hesitate. Almost.
"This is a penis, as I'm sure you're all aware." She starts dryly. "When captured, or in risk of assault. This is unfortunately your likeliest path to survival." Her gaze swivels across the room, "A man that finds no pleasure in a kunoichi's mouth, is likely to slit her throat and be done. Some might use that new hole happier for the change…"
That's fucking disgusting, and horrifying because it's probably true!
We all look apprehensive, was this really going to happen? Did Konoha really teach lessons on how to orally pleasure men, as a means to survive longer in the field? How fucked up was this world if this was common lessons for prepubescent and pubescent girls!?
"As you might have surmised, you will be learning today how to perform what is commonly referred to as a blow job." Nami-sensei confirms what we're all thinking. She starts pacing in front of her desk, serious eyes on us. "This is more important then it seems, not only is a Shinobi more likely to let you survive longer if he is enjoying this action. If a girl is skilled, he is likely to have a few seconds of weakness and a lowered guard at the point of climax." She grimaces slightly, "And If there is no chance of escape… You can bite down, and injure an enemy or potentially see them dead."
Oh my god… this is really happening. I think in mortification. I have of course been sexually active for decades by the time of my death. But I have never fellatioed something in front of a classroom of my peers! And most of them were at least close to puberty. I was decidedly not!
"If you follow my previous teachings, appearing as a soft, innocent and scared little girl upon capture. You may be underestimated. This today will teach you how to capitalize on that underestimation. If they've bought your innocent act, I will teach you how to shyly and tentatively pretend you are new to this act, while slowly picking up speed and enthusiasm drawing their mind away from your danger as a kunoichi." Nami-sensei has our full horrified attention as she continues to pace. Making eye contact with each of us. "If they are wary of you, your attempt at innocence is not viable. I will teach you how to suck like a quick and dirty whore, their climax is your only goal, to take advantage of those few seconds." She says bluntly. The words sounds worse, and weirder coming from our teacher.
The worst part of this class…. I have no doubt that in the war we'll be deployed in. Some of us will actually need to use what we're learning here to survive. It's so fucked up - somehow it's worse to me then the literal killing I've already performed. My body is expected to be violated at some point. Like it's common and something to prepare my mind for already. I feel sick - and angry.
"You will practice on these." Nami-sensei slowly strokes the wooden phallus on her desk. "The demonstration of the weakness of men however requires more." On cue, a male with his face covered enters the classroom, he is naked, there's a few squeaks from the girls but everyone's too horrified to make a lot of noise.
Nami-sensei gets on her knees, glancing towards us, "Pay attention. I'll show you the quick and dirty version first. I expect full cooperation. No girl leaves the academy until she's passed my class." At least we didn't have to perform it on someone.
Small mercies.
It doesn't really make this class much easier.
Despite our shock, we are the graduating class - one step away from becoming ninja. We've already been through the rape scenarios, the talks about how to survive under torture. We all listen and pay attention. And when it comes time to practice. We all do. There are no giggles this time. And none of us can meet each other's eyes.
I'm not the only girl that looks sick and drained by the end. All too aware of how this could be reality within the year.
I leave the classroom an hour later. Knowing this class will be a constant until each girl has succeeded to sensei's standards. Dreading what could possibly come after. Surely this is the last thing. There couldn't be any more horrific signs of what is waiting for us out there in the war.
I know better. I've read the history books on war in my old world - where people didn't have super powers. Why would morals be better here? Me being five wouldn't stop some people. For some they'd specifically come for me just for that.
I headed straight for my greenhouse. I needed to think, to collect myself. I couldn't face Kushina-shishou as I am right now.
I feel weak.
I feel enraged.
Mostly I feel tired.
So tired.
***
End of disturbing part.
***
Kushina frowns as she hears a knock at the door. She peers out the window, it was getting dark out. Who would come at this time?
She grabs a kunai and holds it behind her, just in case. And walks to her door, calming slightly as she can feel a familiar chakra. She might not be the kind of sensor Inohana-chan is, but from five feet away she's not too shabby.
"Nami-san? Is everything alright with Inohana-chan?" She asks, as soon as she's wrenched the door open, peering worriedly at her. She can't imagine the academy sensei having any reason to visit her otherwise.
Nami rubs her forehead wearily, "I'll make this quick Kushina-san, I do not care for socializing. Normally I wouldn't do this, what a girl gets up to outside of the academy isn't my business." She warns bluntly.
"What's happened?" Kushina asks hurriedly, mind whirling with worries.
"We had the special circumstances class for the first time today for this graduation class." Nami explains, seeing Kushina's furious blush she raises a knowing eyebrow, "Yes, that class."
"Inohana took it badly?" Kushina asks, fighting down her blush, she'd been horrified back when she'd had to do that class. No matter that Minato quite enjoyed her skill now.
"She's passed the class already." Nami states bluntly. "The other girls will as usual take about a dozen times. But, and I'm only telling you this because she is five years old, your student is already well practiced in this exercise."
Kushina shakes her head rapidly, "I don't understand." She says weakly. Praying she overheard that wrong.
"There is no doubt in my mind she's done this before. Many times. Enough to become practiced." Nami says, sighing when Kushina whimpers, "I just thought you should know, my involvement in this is now finished." And she turns and leaves without another word.
"Inohana-chan…" Kushina cries, closing her eyes in anguish. What has that bastard done to you!?
***
Authors Note:
Not nice. Not meant to be nice. In fact it's meant to be absolutely disturbing. It's meant to be horrifying. It's the silent part of most war's that's not mentioned very loudly.
The Naruto world sends out girls into a war, or just dangerous missions in peace times. These talks would have happened in some way in a realistic setting. And for a ninja village which coldly sees every body as a weapon and statistic - as much as they say they're the nice village. They would teach something that might give a kunoichi a few seconds window to kill or injure another Shinobi. The fleeing part not being so much prioritized as them at least injuring or killing their abusers. Although if they get away then great, bonus.
It's not nice. It's not pretty.
And I took it out of the chapter twice. My proofreader and friend badgered me to put it back in. Saying that avoiding realism wouldn't do the story any favors either.
Of course Kushina, already suspecting her dad, will think the worst. No one's going to guess skills from a previous life after all.
And yes, Inohana is definitely being a bit of a bitch in the academy. She's fifty, she's not taking any shit, knowing the sensei isn't going to be able to murder her in her sleep, she's going to stand up for herself and get in his face. Not smart or polite perhaps. But not every character always acts in their own best interest 100 percent of the time. She's not there to make friends, she cares about Kushina but these kids aren't part of her circle at the moment, so yeah she'll punch them in the face without regret.
The Naruto timeline is a hassle, so everyone's age is what I say it is, no matter if they were a year older or younger or whatever in canon.
Hopefully the chapter was good all in all.
Cheers
JollyHippopotamus
